I, I've lived in New York City for about 12 years, which is
good. I, I, I get a lot of my material
just from existing there. Like I was on the train once.
It's a true story. I was on the train.
There was a couple across from me.
The man said to the woman, what do you want to do for dinner?
And I swear to God, the woman said.
I think that lanky Jew is listening to our conversation.
I am Jewish. I don't make a big deal out of
it unless I'm losing an argument with a person of color.
But I did one time have a German bartender and somehow it came up
I was Jewish. And he was like, oh, I'm so
sorry for the Holocaust. Which really threw me off guard
because like, how am I supposed to respond to that?
No worries, don't let it happen again.
I didn't know. I was just like, could I get a
free beer? And he said, no, I can't do
that. I was like, what the fuck?
How many Holocaust does it take? And he said, no, no, no, I want
to, but my boss would get mad. I was like, I get it, you're
just following orders. Now I'm not going to talk about
COVID tonight. I, I, it's become so divisive.
I mean, I, I had a good friend. He was so anti vaccine.
I just stopped speaking to him because he died.
But social distancing was hard for me because my father's
Italian. And if you don't know Italians,
we hug, we kiss, we get fired for it.
Because it makes non Italians very uncomfortable.
Like my roommates, not Italian. I remember the first time my
roommates saw my Italian father and I kiss each other goodbye.
He was like, yeah, do you kiss your dad in public?
And I was like, yeah, yeah, you don't be weird.
If I only kissed him in private. I was like, hey, pops, let's get
out of here for a private goodbye.
And I obviously was not born in Italy, but in the 1930s about my
my great grandpa Luigi, which is his real name, my great grandpa
Luigi and my great grandma Donkey Kong immigrated to
America. When people ask me where in
Italy is your family from, I'm like Nintendo.
No, to be honest, I don't know a lot about MyHeritage because I
never even met my dad's dad, which is a tradition I hope to
continue with my son. My parents got divorced when I
was seven days old. So like most kids, my first word
was Mama. But my next five word told me to
tell you real quick round of applause, if your parents are
divorced, make some noise, clap it up.
All right, All right, man, how old were you when your parents
got divorced? 15 So it was your fault.
The hardest part is watching your parents date.
Like I I just met my dad's new girlfriend and we have a lot in
common. Like being born in 1988.
It's weird. He likes dating younger, I like
dating older. One time we went on a double
date. It looked like the family dinner
I never had but everyone in the restaurant was staring because I
thought my dad was playing Footsie with my sister and I was
getting handsy with my mom. And then my dad went to kiss me
and I was like, let's do this in private.
I am pro-choice, which you knew, you knew that you knew that
already because there's certain beliefs such as go together with
other ones, right? Like there's no such thing as a
sexist trans ally. I've never met anyone who's like
trans women or women and they belong in the kitchen.
I was very upset when Roe V Wade got overturned because I have 3
little sisters who should have been aborted.
I'm trying to be a better ally. Like I live in this neighborhood
in New York called Harlem. And if you don't know Harlem,
it's a historically black neighborhood.
I live across the new Whole Foods on Malcolm X Blvd. which
is what he would have wanted. And I was in Harlem for all of
2020. I, I did several of the marches
for Black Lives Matter and I, I remember 1:00 we, we were
marching down Malcolm X Blvd. and we were chanting, you know,
Black lives Matter and no justice, no peace.
Fuck these racist ass police. And then we got to the block
where I live and suddenly everyone started chanting hey
hey ho ho. These gentrifiers have got to
go. And I don't know if you've ever
had a March turn against you while you were in it, but I did
what a lot of white liberals do when we find out we're part of
the problem. I chanted harder.
The first white guy I saw coming out of Whole Foods, I was like,
you don't belong here. Which really confused him,
'cause he was my roommate. And he was like, Jamarco, what
are you doing? I was like, Jamarco, Oh, do we
all look the same to you? And then I marched right in the
face of a police officer and I was like, could you escort me
back to my apartment, please, officer?