Hello fair listener, welcome and thank you for following our
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Now let's dive right back into Tara through the campaign
Allelopolis. Fucking Craig.
You a bitch. The Hand of Fate tosses.
The dice rolls, spins, turn. A campaign starts and ends,
leaving memories that become stories.
Stories flow out into the infinite sea, painting it with
legends. Legends wash up on the shores
throughout the infinite sea, fading to myth until myths are
forgotten and the campaign that gave it birth comes again and
again. The Hand of Fate tosses the dice
rolls, spins, turns hitherto we left the rum rollers on the Isle
island of Shondar. Mimei, Kat Hamilton and the
Rawlsons beached a dune right next to a horde of Cobalts and
their ship owned by Shondar. They find out they then frolked
in the sand with some crabs to catch 12.
Poor Shondar Rural also made a deal with Gulliver, the captain
of the Red Cobalt ship, to deliver Shondar's goats.
Golver also warned Rural of the feuding goblins inside of
Shondar's volcano, while Adune whipped up some Balkan tentacle
sushi for another offering to Shondar.
The rum rollers headed north on the island head towards the
island body, the Evolve Fully Active volcano.
On the way, they stopped to admire and then devour enormous
coconuts, coconut milk still barely dry on their faces.
The rum rollers marched to the Obsidian cliffs at the base of
the volcano, and at the edge of one of those cliffs an old red
cobalt sat fishing, greeted them and again warned them of the
strife in the tunnels ahead, but said they look strong enough to
handle it, unlike him, So they crossed lava flow bridges into
dark lava tube caverns. Hamilton leaves the group to
gather the goats from Golfer on the deck of a dune, testing the
portal onto a dune's deck. Mime and Cat, unable to see in
in the descending darkness of the tunnels, latch onto Rural,
then Cat casts Fly on him, where all speeds to the tunnels,
avoiding tempting magical auras noted by his companions and the
raging battles between the Cobalts and the Goblins.
Rapidly, the small contingent of Rum rollers convinced the guards
at the door of Shondar's chambers to beef to be friends
in exchange for a for gold, greeted exuberantly on the other
side by a red dragon himself, by the red dragon himself.
Upon entering the crater to the volcano.
Assuming there are early entries into his talent show, they went
along with it and entered themselves as Goat stackers.
After some quick practicing, Hamilton took the lead to set up
the ACT for Shondar the red Dragon, with Rarlsson's balanced
with Rarlsson's bounce atop one another.
Zenora climbed atop them and Cat topped it all while Hamilton and
Meimei or Yeah Meimei, herded the goats and other food they
had prepared for Shondar towards their stacked companions.
They began juggling the goats and other food to the top of
their stack where cat flame broiled them and Zenora tossed
them into the mouth of Shondar who had excitedly turned from
his humanoid form to his dragon body.
All going down smoothly until the Balkan sushi made it out and
it into Shondar's gut, who accidentally torched the rum
rollers nearly to death with his indigestion.
Captain Me may save the day as they cleaned up from their act
of the rum rollers then set an appointment to come to terms for
their for some of his breath in exchange for Queen for the Queen
Theoda, Queen of Socrates Gold that she had promised before we
get going down here negotiations go well with Shondar for two
cases of dragon breaths in exchange for exclusive trading
rights. 20,000 gold total for those two.
Less a handful of gold for the rights to dub.
A smoking herb he'd found on his cliffs that he had chaired with
the room rollers to be called the Roller.
Nice. We're being gone to be drug
trackers. They're getting trademarks.
And we also have to get him a date with the Queen.
Yep. So a wait time of two days to
fill out the two crate, two crates that he'd promised of
individual jars with Shondar's breath, and one extra crate for
a nudie of the Queen and a date with her.
Along with the contract to Captain Gulliver Gulliver.
The Red Kobalt they the rum rolders had also given him a a
vial of indigestion potion to help Shondar.
After their performance during celebrations, Rural and Sonora
sneak out on a Recon mission about the goblins.
Timothy and the guard captain at the entrance to the lava tubes
exchange a a letter for Raro with Shondar to get an
all-purpose communication device for himself and Zenora, where
they then proceeded to disguise themselves as a goblin and oh
shoot, what's that other? Right, a warg.
Warg. Yes, right warg.
And they snuck behind enemy lines to find a contingent of
Dryder underneath, seemingly instructing and exchanging
information amongst the the goblin frontline, and proceeded
to capture and inundate a the one that seemed to be in charge.
A who she. I don't think you guys even get
her name, honestly. We just beat her to beat her
into unconsciousness. Yeah.
And then, yeah, that's where we left off.
Let's see what finds out this what happens this time.
So yeah, that was, that was pretty much all that that had
happened that session there too. You beat her, you got behind the
enemy lines, you get beat her up and.
Teleported back and hit the plate right.
Yeah, I forgot about that particular detail.
I did listen to that as I was just coming home there.
So you did hide the plate. You were attempted to under the
desk 1st and then ended up giving up on that as it failed
and threw a bunch of rations on the desk and put it in the midst
of that and then. Going to the kitchen, teleported
back in. Onto a dune's deck, so that's
where everyone finds themselves. Currently is on a dune.
I'm not exactly sure where Cat and or Frederick would have
gone, specifically Frederick I would.
I assume you'd just be have slept sleeping in your room,
but. Yeah, I'm starting to think of
Frederick is a narcoleptic just. Constantly taking naps.
One of the things that I I would you did miss out when we were
playing the one shot there is something I'm going to try and
start doing probably is stealing from Met directly almost but
with a little bit different description.
So in your particular case, Frederick, you had popped out of
existence the last time that you'd played with us.
As a simplistic explanation, before I get into this beautiful
wording of you just stopped existing.
And then you were in a void of black nothingness for the time
being. And now you started existing
again inside of your, your room of the of of there.
And and I I was going to change exactly how that feels is the
main thing. Which some extreme narcolepsy?
Yeah. Darkness part I could transfer
to another plane of existence. Yeah.
Darkness covered you as time begins not to exist and yet move
infinitely. You feel your body start to lose
all weight, floating effortlessly in no particular
direction, in in a void of nothingness.
Your wants and wishes all drift away.
Only one feeling persists. You are all things because you
are nothing. There is no movement, but
everything, including you, moves infinitely fast, knowing all
things and no thing, and have all things but hold nothing.
And then, as you're coming back into existence in your room,
colors and lights start to streak across your vision and a
persistent boom boom spurs to life, bringing with it a weight
and physical weight and that of time.
As you feel yourself beginning, you begin to realize there is a
you, a clear desire, dream. Determination pulls you toward
it, growing and changing ever more.
You flow into the evolving you at a solid.
Chug chug, chug chug chug. With your vision clear on the
scene before you which you find yourself in your room and the
the feeling of having stood right at a wave as it crests,
splashing over you and lifting you up off your feet.
And you. But go ahead and roll me a
Dexterity saving throw with the a light, a lighten heady high,
just as a buzz would feel to set in.
I wish I'd have read that a couple more times before I'd
actually tried it. This time I only wrote it down.
I love your protection, but no thing.
Thanks. It works.
So you your knees buckle, but you don't fall to fall down as
you're kind of feel yourself kind of like fall, fall into
your form almost inside of your room, which I do need to grab
your character token. Where is it?
I'm on the bottom floor of the thing.
It looks like you're where you're on the bottom floor of
the ship. Oh.
Had you gotten there, I don't remember that exactly.
Must have been one of the times, because Wisteria was here too,
apparently for that. OK do.
You remember what you were doing last session before, I mean,
well, besides I guess the session before the last one too,
because you were, you were there just be at the beginning of the
negotiations, right? I thought you were there before
we did the like Go Tower, Or were you there during the goat
Tower? Go Tower has no regulation in my
branch, I'm going to guess. Before I.
Think it was. After for so long.
I think it was after, honestly, because you guys finished the
goat tower and then went to go speak to Shondar and then that's
when you were along for the at least the beginning part of
that. But I think that the last time
you were with us, besides that was when you were you'd come
back onto the deck just having hurriedly, rushedly thrown on
your armor as everybody finished fighting a tentacle monster that
was attacking a dune. That's the last time I
specifically remember Frederick being with us.
But Yep, you find yourself there in your bed.
You would hear the the ship rocking in the waves slightly,
not like it's moving anywhere. Which direction to seems to
still be beached somewhere? I guess I'll get up and look
around, see if I can find anybody.
Oops. I should stop grabbing stuff.
I would say Kat's probably on the ship, like in whatever
corner he has a desk set up in with to study that stone he got
from Socrates. Oh right.
I vaguely remembered Kat having gone into Meme's room, being
that she or they are the captain and had a bigger room and also
that was kind of cat, Cat seeing himself as a dune's lover.
So kind of. I thought that was where your
room was. Quotes.
I think a lot of the time I just kind of set up like wherever,
because as long as I was on a dune, I was like, I didn't care.
True, true. There is a a desk inside of
Mime's room. There is also you.
When I think you would, you were the one to make the indigestion
potion for Shondar, which you would know that Shia's room is
currently vacant. Actually, that may have been
where you're kind of been residing.
Yeah, I think. I think.
She is old room. Was in her room.
I just moved you over into that is that, I'm assuming after the
celebrations, you guys kind of just like wandered back to your
rooms. Yeah, after we disgust
celebrated and I was like, Yep, I just need a rest and why can't
I zoom out more? There we go, Frederick.
You you walk out of your room, down the hallway into the main
crew corridor, kind of where you guys do a lot of eating and
hanging out, and you see the Rawlson's pillow pile and one
one of the Rarlsson's being cleaned by the other three.
Who? The one kind of still looks
vaguely like a dog, so occasionally they're they start
hissing at each other. Stop it.
It's me. Come on.
I mean slap them on the head like a like a Three Stooges
Bonk. Continual reminder.
Oh, and a drieder that seems to be sitting, laying on the floor,
unconscious, with a with a note on them.
Who is the spider Lady, huh? I look down.
I don't know her name, but I'm pretty sure she's in charge of
the goblins or like like a middle manager or something like
that. I think something that we missed
was we took another contract from Shondar to eradicate or
find the source of the goblin infestation and the deal with it
somehow. He doesn't care how, just that
he wants them gone. So we I kind of gesture over to
Zenora, who's kind of conked out, had a late night and we
took one of the plates far into the back lines and we kidnapped
this lady to question her and hit the plate so we can all go
back there and not have to deal with the giant battle.
So she's. A.
Yes. And she's like, very much bound
and gagged. She has a huge red Welt against
her neck. Does the ship not have a Brig?
I have no idea. I just got back.
I dropped her off. I'm filthy.
I'm letting my siblings clean me.
She's fine. I kick her a little bit right.
You're you're not dead. Does any?
Breathing. Happen.
Makes a grunt. She's she's good.
That's when a Junaid chimes into and goes.
I'm sorry dear, that's something I I don't possess at this time
is some sort of jail. You could probably lock her in
one of the rooms though, if you see fit.
I mean, we can question her, sure, but I don't know if she's
going to be useful far beyond that.
I mean, maybe we can give her to Shandar after we're done with
her, but. Like, here's the present.
Yeah. I extend my arms out in AT pose
and continue letting my siblings clean me.
Kat, you look like you're awake if you have walked out of your
room. I don't know.
I guess we can. I would say room.
There we go. Yeah.
I was going to say after I hear a dune, I talk to others, I
would come out maybe. How big are striders like I I
get like they're like spider centaurs, but like.
Yeah. So you got to figure that
they're like, let me look up the size and get back to you.
I want to say. I want to say that they're like
800 lbs. Oh, you're talking pounds?
Well, I just want to know, can I move her on my own?
Straggle by one leg. We.
Could knock? Her.
Just fucking. That's a feat Large monstrosity.
Large Oh. So I mean everyone can can shift
people one size up from them or grapple them.
I made a grapple build once, it was great.
You just do half movement technically.
But how? Big are it?
Centaur, I like the. I need to find this one.
I found it a while ago. You want to hear a weird fact
about centaurs. What?
They have two rib cages. That makes sense.
That means double the amount. Of Or is it one huge root rib
cage? That they're like front legs
just attached to. Yeah, who would?
You know who would love them chilies?
Those. Double the amount.
Dryders can be 7 to 9 feet tall and half as wide.
Oh wait, no, that's the race. Yeah, that's accurate though
still. So somewhere between 802,000
lbs. Yeah.
That's it's just slightly heavy. But you shouldn't be able to
very length modifier and such, right?
Still like. I mean, just just take a nap and
just go. I said 800 lbs like an average
to be 800 lbs and be on the low end is I'm sure my character
could do it. Wait, I think I might have a
spell. You do 30 times your strength
score up to lifter weight. Twice you can lift twice your
weight. Basically, your is your carrying
capacity. What was the 30 times your?
30 times your Strength score. So that would be your like your
like the big number and strength.
Correct the big number, not the tiny one.
Big numbers. I need to see what this is.
I was gonna say I could cast floating disc, it would just
flop her up onto it. Oh, I I can't carry her.
We're here, right? Like, we don't have to solve
that until we're taking her off the ship.
I think with all three of us together, we could like, drag
her into the room. Well, my strength score times 30
is 600, yeah. We we glossed over that fact
because it was rural and Zenora the the.
We teleported. Remember.
Yeah. OK, so you kind of just open the
portal on her that works, yeah? All right, well, I guess I'm
going to start dragging her to this room because I don't really
want her. Oh my God.
That's of such a pro Strat. Just like teleport in, grab
someone, like drag them through the portal, turn it off, kill
them, teleport back in, drag them through the portal.
Yeah, and what happens if you open the portal and somebody's
standing like next to it? Do they get shoved through it or
do they get like sliced in half? Oh boy, I turned you.
We should find out. This is how we.
Kidnap people. I mean, we're good guys.
Yeah, we can't get. Bad guys.
Yes, yes, you got it. All right, I guess I'm going to
start dragging her to the unoccupied room.
You get you get her moving at a very slow rate, You can feel her
one. How are you grabbing her?
Is the other question real quick?
Got She got a lot of hand holds. I know.
Just probably not a sentence he probably thought he was
expecting to hear today. How were you grabbing her?
How do you hog tie something with that many legs?
That too bad warranty. You could figure it out.
And we're all sailors. We know not, right?
We do. Calling us sailors might be a
stretch. I was a sailor, at least in my
back story, but. I was going to say just
occupying a ship I don't think makes you a sailor.
I mean, I look to my siblings. They did most of the sailing.
I just kind of watched. So.
Cat probably knows how to tie knots, but I don't know if he
can execute them with his tiny little chicken feet.
I I guess I I grab her by two of her legs.
OK, you're making me think about spiders in the way I don't want
to think about spiders. I bet it's fuzzy.
Really big spiders too. I bet it just feels like a pipe
cleaner. Does it just pop off?
Oh my God. See that, that.
That. Was kind of like like afraid
thing. But I also don't want to like,
bear hug the spider and like, walk it across, yeah.
I wonder if she can make webbing.
You definitely grab those two legs and start pulling towards
the broom and you can feel the fuzziness of the legs that that
it usually would be used to kind of grip to a wall grip to your
hands so you have no problem holding on to her, but.
You do? Feel.
Like. I don't like that.
I don't like that fact. I don't like fact like spiders.
Like here to you SO. You so you.
Adhere to you. You feel for certain with that.
Without a doubt in your mind, you've just dislocated both of
those legs, if not ripped, since they're not ripped off.
So you drag her towards. The.
This room I guess is closest with not going down a tiny
hallway. Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Are you telling me that a spider that weighs between 8 and 2000
lbs. I can just dislocate them by
pulling on them. To a man, usually they're she's
using, she's distributed the points.
It hurt 2000 lbs by 8 points. Now you've just focused that all
on two points or six points. I forget how many legs they
have. 8 right? Yeah, yeah, I should have 8:00.
88 legs and two arms. Yeah.
So the difference of at least roughly saying we'll just say
the 2000 / 8, two, 150 versus what they're usually holding
versus the? Yeah.
But I would imagine Strider is like extremely strong.
Oh yeah. Yeah, when they had, when
they're. Good, we can just we can use
this to to like talk to them. Roll it.
Just just roll it like a log. We're definitely good guys.
It's a log with like 8 branches on it.
Yep, that seems like a really hard log to roll.
I mean, that would be Could you grab her butt?
So. If I can pull off her leg, I'm
not grabbing her butt because her legs are at least meant to,
like, distribute. Weight.
Go ahead and roll me actually to at Athletics.
I'm good at those. 22 Very nice. You're able to kind of
redistribute it by grabbing onto a couple more legs and cringing,
and I don't know which, but you don't feel any more of them
dislocate. I don't know which room you're
going towards though. Moon.
There we go. I walk, Adune can do.
Secure the prisoner, please, if you will.
Oh yes, of course. One question, how does your
Physiology work? I just flop down onto the deck
and I'm like it works beautifully and I just rub my
face on. The deck you can hear the whole
of the ship kind of purr. Like, do you feel everything?
More or less. Why?
What have you been doing to her? The chicken stands up and glares
at you. Well, I was going to break off
the inside handle, so oh. You don't need to worry about
that. And then you just see the inside
handle kind of the board that it's on kind of like the the
whole of it shift and beat the the the parts that are the
actual mechanism go down to the floor and kind of roll off and
the the board flips around and there's actually probably
another board that comes up and covers that board spot.
Actually you know what that's what happens.
So one of the boards that are in the door that holds the the the
the whole piece of the door shifts down to the floor.
So now there's a just a floorboard on the floor that has
a handle on it. All right, there isn't like a
window in the store, is there? No.
Could you add 1 Frederick has to do tonight.
Oh, of of I could add just an opening, but I I can't really
control the glass. I'm mainly just the wood of the
of the the. It doesn't.
Need to have. Like Glass could just have like,
bars, Oh. I could make some wood bars,
shouldn't certainly and you see appear in front of you.
Basically just the some of the planks on the door fold down
intermittently between it. So there's just plank open,
plank open, plank open. Kind of like slats.
Well, that works. I am now declaring this room to
break. Nice.
I have an idea too. I'm going to wander off and
start tinkering with something while they get ready.
All right. So now that that's dealt with,
what are we doing? We're supposed to be getting rid
of the goblins from the from the volcano for the dragon for extra
payment. He did.
Like I said, he doesn't care how we do it.
But yeah, Oh yeah. Also I'm pretty sure they have
like some kind of magic gem that auto like spawns goblins by like
huge numbers 'cause we saw something like that, I can't
remember. A.
Longer away, yeah. Are they fire resistant?
I don't know. That was my thought too, is,
'cause we have the we're waiting for those fire, breath, potion
things, we could just like, teleport and set some up and
then like, you know, light a fuse and teleport out or run
away. Well, would there be any way to
just like, flood it with llama? Probably, but like Shondar
doesn't seem to care enough to do it himself.
We'd have to do like a whole survey of the volcano to find a
weak spot that would flood their like their borough.
Oh. Or like we don't, we really
wouldn't have to deal with like the magic crystal if it spawns
them into lava. Yeah, I know.
But think about it. I'm not advocating slavery, but
if we got one of those we could, we could have a very large
corporation very quickly. Frederick We.
Pay them a wage, Frederick. Holds out both his hands and
goes slavery, genocide, slavery. I mean you have a very good
point. I mean here's the thing if we
we, we just started with Shandar and the Queen, our own company,
our shipping company, we have one ship.
So we need to get that started real quick.
And I just figure if we get one of these like crystals that's
popping up goblins. I don't know if that's actually
how it works, but if it is, it's already made source of
employment. I would like just imagine that
there's just like a crystal that has like a butthole that like
goblins come out. With it could be, yeah.
Who knows? That sounds really specific of a
thing that you would imagine. But did that's, you know, yeah.
Thumbs up anyway. Our our team name should be the
goodest of good guys we commit. We're we're the good guys.
And enslave things. Capitalism.
I'm pretty sure, since I'm a hex blade.
I had thought originally like my patron was the God of the table
that I currently have, but it just might be capitalism.
That that that deity is a hard deity to please.
But just the taxes just increase exponentially.
Have you heard of inflation? Oh my God, I should never have
bought that. I should have never got a bank
loan. Never.
Oh, did you know they're they're tactically?
God, like they have the power to create the warlock bond in some
banks. Crazy.
I hold up my like ankle. There's like a a beeping, like
ankle bracelet. You're just being actively
haunted now because you got teleported here for no reason
and I. Don't know why my next character
is going to be a minor and his patience.
He's going to be a warlock and he's going to and his pack bond
is going to be with the company store.
He sold his soul, basically have access.
To goods, that's. Perfect.
Is it corporate? Corporate, Corporate man,
Company man. Anyway, yeah, if you guys want
to talk to her, I'm going to try to build something so that,
like, she's more secure. Oh.
Also, I did miss this tiny thing.
Well, in your celebrations you guys, although have so fixated
on creating new businesses, have forgotten your gains.
Currently, as there seems to be, I think it was somewhere like I
wrote it, I wrote it down now and I I'd rolled, rolled it.
Actually today, after listening to the episode, on the table
that is in front of you, there's a pile of gold that Shondar had
given you guys. I can do it now.
I said I never wrote it down or just go to.
See if they have a store. About 715 gold.
I don't know how you're distributing that.
There's three of you guys there. So what did you do with that
information? I didn't say should we split it
into thirds. Well, isn't that for the whole?
We make a like ship treasury and give it to a dune and then get
it out as. Technically, it's technically
company money. I don't know if we have to pay
taxes on capital gains. Well, I mean, we don't have to
mention or. Or on a private island, aren't
we? That's true.
I mean, he could just say it was declare it as a gift.
No. OK.
What if we do like in four and the 1/4 goes to the ship?
I can't hear you. You've Are you OK?
You've gone. Strange.
Here's. The robot, Yeah.
When was that? I have no idea.
Somebody sounds like they're being electrocuted while they
talk. That is weird.
Nobody's claimed it. Is it me?
I I mean, I'm hearing it so. I hear you fine.
You hear me? I hear you fine.
Somebody. Guys hear me fine.
It's fucking Craig. It's literally the robot.
So. He's trying to put in his two
cents. He wants the money.
I look around. It's.
Becoming sentient. We're in danger.
And we'll remember this day forever as the day the AI took
over. Yep, it was.
It was because of the apocalyptic events they all
lined up. Seems something too about.
Speaking of which, I after I mentioned the two that we'd
already had flooding and the eclipse and.
The oh. Now, apparently, no.
Definitely George. I can see him lighten up.
It's picking up in the background.
What the fuck? Tell me what you want me to do,
Craig. I'll do.
It I'll do it is somebody else talking.
Please be nice to us, Craig. Well, the NSA.
OK, Craig. That's a joke.
United States government. Just so you know.
Yeah. This is use loop.
Please what is? It What is it picking up?
Yeah, I was going to say is that it doesn't, is it?
You're talking right now and it was fine.
Yeah, that's something. Murdered in your house.
Ever. OK, if you're talking right now,
something's happening. OK, stop.
It stopped let. Everyone stop.
I'm guessing. Stop Ralston talk.
Hello, my name is Matthew and I just want to say that I don't
think it's me. It's gonna be Craig.
That's so weird. Hello.
Yeah. Work I'll.
Just, I don't. I don't know.
Either. I'll just have to live with.
It I had, I had a speaker once for like a guitar that picked up
like top frequencies on it somehow.
Fun. I mean, that'd be weird if we're
picking it up right now. Wouldn't be too weird.
I mean, kind of weird though. I don't.
I I don't. I don't know what's going on.
I don't know either. Sorry, this it's it's not like I
have like a short night. This is a brand new headset.
Now, yeah, it seems all fine and dandy, like we said when you're
talking. I.
Don't know what the heck what's going on, but All in all,
nothing's going on now, so maybe it just went away.
Well. There's alien frequencies.
There's. Eight players, right?
In total. I think.
Craig, tell me what you want me to do, Craig.
Talk to me. It's really weird.
'Cause it's obviously like, right?
It's not just like static, it's like there's like a cadence.
Yeah, it kind of sounds like. It sounds like.
Savior Craig telling us what to do.
Craig, what are your wishes? Well, so that we can keep this
going, I guess. Oh, the gold.
Yeah, the gold on the table. Yeah, you think about dividing
in four and then a fourth goes to the ship.
I was going to say we could have like a do they hold on to
company funds? Yeah, I mean.
Party's money. Is, yeah, I think it's the, it's
like the company's money. So I don't know if we actually
have anything to spend it on. So until we do, it doesn't
really matter. Well.
Yeah, so we should just. My character.
Are any of us rich? I actually have no idea.
Not yet, but we're up and coming businessmen.
Yeah, we'll get. How much money do you currently
have? I have a number that's on my
sheet that I will look at in just a SEC when I walk over
there. That's got 500 in his bag of
holding. All right.
Well, I bet I have both of you beat.
I have. I have two.
You have two gold and. 1. Silver I have.
I have two gold and two silver, but I also give out a lot of
bribes. Yeah, you do.
Yeah. Bribe mummy.
Money is important. Am I in my new armor yet?
You. Are you put it on just before
that last fight, The adamantium, I believe it was.
Yeah, the Burleson's brought it on the ship for you.
Or it did nothing right so. One more time.
It's not in my inventory. Oh, OK.
There we go. I think we'd said that it would
be just a regular set of Adamante in which I mean.
Well. It comes to armor.
I think. Was plate, I think, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you were trying to get
as armored up as you could, which is some, I think it didn't
have your size. Didn't.
Didn't I also have it? Something that did?
At what? Didn't it make me more dexterous
or something? I can't remember.
No, that was well, that would have been Miss Rule I think.
Yeah, somebody else was wearing that.
Hamilton was wearing that. Light and flexible armor.
If the armor is normally imposed disadvantage on dexterity
stealth checks, you may have asked for that.
I I thought it. I thought for some I I did not
go back and Fact Check that. So you may be remembering it
more specifically than I about whether or not you asked for
misrule or I I. I don't remember.
I remember going up to the armor and like asking him a question.
Like, do you have an armor that can make me something?
Less quick. Oh hell, Craig.
That that can make you not have the disadvantage on stealth,
because that's what this armor does specifically.
It's Tesla coils. It sounds like Tesla coils.
I'm sorry. This might this, this might have
been for, I don't know, Stealth doesn't affect me, but this
would definitely affect that's that's for warm.
OK. Yeah, I would.
I would say it's Adamantium then.
All right. Oh, OK.
Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, definitely would have been
because you. I think, yeah, Hamilton went for
the myth role because it had to do with the wearability for his
character too. Yeah, that that's one thing that
the my gold chest piece that Warren has that lets me like
attract like or words attract words sense sense like valuables
is that piece of stealth character and that gives me a
disadvantage on stealth. But it is super powerful.
It is so I I don't, I don't know.
We we can deal with the money at some point.
It doesn't matter. Are we going to deal with the
guns right now? I mean that would that be ideal.
I think like if we could get some money because like we have
2-3 days before the shipment's ready and we have to turn back
around and sail back home. So if we could like you know,
put a stop to it. Have you guys explored the
entire island? No, no, of course not.
That's I don't know how big it is, but they would be very
large. Don't.
We have a map of the island. Yes, you do.
And your handouts. Put my hand in my pocket and go
look. How do I look at handouts again?
5th level of hell No Wrong one Shondars Island.
It's a very volcano Y island. How do I?
Journal All Cliffs Volcano in Beachhead I turn to the others.
There's probably something really cool on top of the.
Cliffs. OK, handouts, handouts,
Palaopolis, I was. Going to say I just have a
picture. Oh, this is the wrong one.
I was like it's just a picture of a volcano.
I know I've seen this map before.
Please get bigger map all. Right and.
What are where we? Beachhead.
All right. Have you made it to the tail?
No, we have not been out that way.
But like, I don't know, we'd have to.
It's probably through the goblin.
Oh wait, what if we what if we took the adune over there and we
entered in from the tail clip? Well, no, because we had the
plate already in there. Yeah, can't we just teleport to
where we need to go? Yes, we can teleport past the
goblin front ranks because I left a plate there in the last
session, which we probably should do first, because, you
know, if someone picks it up and takes it somewhere that we're
going with it. Yeah, so.
So are we going on with the stealth mission or who are we
going on like? Oh, I'm a chicken.
I'm good at stealth. I mean, we we were doing stealth
previously. And I'm all so.
Good at stealth. I am not good at stealth.
Oh well. Like I am equivalently bad at
stealth. Why?
Well, my dexterity is at -1 and I have a disadvantage of
stealth. As well as he's a large 7 foot
plus tall lion with two Shields and full plate armor.
Got it. I mean, here's the thing.
We've made it past the stealth part of the mission, right?
We got past the the, the, the massive horde of goblins and
into their inner workings. Now we have a captive that we
can question about what we have to go break to make this stop.
And then we just go in there and we break it.
So like, maybe what's not that stealth mission?
Maybe it's just like a a. Loud like a.
Like a strike team. Guys, I think she's waking up
and you hear from the other room just a scuttling or attempting
of scuttling of legs. My legs.
Yeah. What'd she notice?
The two of them are dislocated. Yeah, you do hear a a sharp
intake of breath and then just a high pitched.
Will. At first.
Oh shit. Nice.
And there's more where that came from.
Now tell us your secrets. What are we doing here?
I can't remember now. Yes, Greg, I.
Understand. So she peers through the bars
and says in under common. Let me out.
But does anyone know Speak under?
Common. You do speak it just regularly.
Yep. I have common Thieves can't and
under common. No, I do not have those.
Yeah, I have Dwarvis Infernal Primordial.
I mean, I'm pretty sure I went for when I picked them.
I was like, what's the other common?
Yeah, Frederick. Wow.
Hello.
We lost him. He stopped existing again.
I said I speak Common dwarvis, giant and primordial.
Oh yeah. Beauty and my mic made the thing
stop. It didn't.
No, Yeah. No, it definitely was still
going on. I don't know what's.
What it is but still but. So then, without even you, you
don't need, without even really thinking about it.
Then you you hear Raul, and then let me out.
Why am I here? Thanks.
What happened to them? Oh good, she's awake.
I grab a bit of the since I like, I said I went to grab
something. I've grabbed the bit of the skin
of the tentacle monster that we had defeated or captured, but we
had cut off a leg and saved part of the skin and I'll return
over. And as I am talking to her, I
will be crafting a kind of like cutting it into strips like as
long as I can. And I'll just be like we just
have a few questions for you and then we'll be happy to let you
go. How do I know you're oh hey,
wait, you. We were playing cards.
You attacked me. Yes, I said.
Bring him back to her. Yeah.
Trust you. And then she you.
Don't have much insurance. She looks around real.
You have to trust us. Real scared like and you've
bound. Her arm is behind her back I'm
guessing, and then her other legs more or less together.
So she kind of looks down at her legs, her spider legs that are
bound, and then just like raises an eyebrow and looks at you and
then just pulls one out of the loop.
Damn it. You're good.
Wait, it's OK. We can just dislocate the rest
of your legs if you want to be faithful.
No, that doesn't sound pleasant at all, but.
I'm gonna cast mage hand like right next to her and just very
like grab the leg. Not trying to pull it, but just
grab it to try to freak her out. All the dislocated ones.
No one of the good ones. Oh oh oh.
She looks over and goes and shakes it like shakes the the
ethereal hand off kind of without even blinking, really.
And then she just looks at you, goes what?
What's your question again? We just wanted to get the lay of
the land and figured talking to someone who was like middle
management would work. You could have asked me while I
was still drunk. Kind of hungover now.
Oh, we can fix that if you would like to.
More drinking, drinking, drink more.
That's all right. I've got to enact the protocol
and then she just. I throw the the skin that I had
been cutting into the room next to her.
Next to her. Yeah, or I mean like towards her
and I'm trying to get it within range because it's got an anti
magic bubble. I.
Don't remember it having an anti magic bubble.
I think it had. Speed why the dragon got
indigestion right? From the tentacle.
He ate the the tentacle, though. Same thing.
When we were when was it? I thought it had a like when we
fought the monster, it had like a sphere of influence or
something. Itself.
Really it. Like whenever you attacked it,
it had active magic resistance built into it.
Got it. That didn't do what I thought it
was going to do it. Lands directly next to it and
she just looks at it like and then she just like without even
like trying to attempt to pull out her arms from behind her
back or anything though lifts up one of her fighter legs and
proceeds to like pull out her fangs of a swords that are that
are that that are very prevalent.
She just kind of reveals them, even more so, and then bites her
own own leg and starts, you can hear, innamely.
And then she's. Just sawing her leg off.
She starts to collapse under her.
She's she's committing suicide. Does anyone have a anti poison
thing? I turn to the person who makes
poisons. I run in and start sucking the
poison out. Hold on Spell.
The classic. He's already unconscious at this
point. And you were she.
She was only you. You brought her down to only
like, oh, let me go back to that combat.
It probably actually held on to that information.
I don't have any really healing spells or anything, All I have
is gentle repose. I I have aid.
We need revive Meimei around. Was she dead?
Or is she just like? She's I'm pretty sure she's
committing suicide. Yeah, isn't that gonna kill her?
She still had. I don't know how that works in
the game. However the DM wants.
Or zoom encounter. Here we go.
You got her down to this number, so she's she's not fully
unconscious, but she does seem to be under some sort of like,
anaphylactic shock, if you will. Yeah, I definitely try to suck
the poison out. Should have removed her fangs
other than the. Scientific evidence that says it
doesn't work. I don't know how that would
actually physically take place. Magic.
Going back, don't we have one? That.
I can cast sleep and then we can force feed her like a mango,
can't we? I mean.
Another. Campaign.
That's the other campaign. OK, so just have this damage
that comes through. Sure.
As you're sucking 6. So isn't that gonna hurt you?
Yeah. Yeah.
And she seems to stop like being in a state of.
Also I got a question. Slapping around on the ground,
basically, But she's she's breathing heavily still and on
the ground. Go ahead.
What do you mean by fangs? Like like her spider body has
fangs or like she has fangs in her mouth.
She has fangs in her mouth on the top half.
Am I really going to attempt to try and, like, knock her teeth
out? I mean, she pulls her tooth out
and bit herself with it, right? I think she.
Just. I think I meant like, actually,
like, knock her, like, teeth out.
Like all of. Them.
Oh, sure, but let's do that after she doesn't die.
Well, we got to stop her doing it again.
Right, but first we need to keep her from poisoning her dying.
Then we can pull her teeth out. Pull her teeth out so she can't
kill herself again. Yeah, but if you do it now, I'm
pretty sure you're just going to kill her.
Yes, my Lord. I understand.
Want a big talk? Just as a slight reminder, you
would know this because it hadn't happened that long ago
for you, Rarl, was that you know that she wasn't dead.
You know you didn't knock her that sort of unconscious.
You know, you you had suffocated her to the point of
unconsciousness. So Yep.
Well, we need to for her to pass out again.
I can cast sleep. Sure, right now we need heals.
If I can cast Aids, that only gives.
You Nobody's saying nobody's got anything good in their
inventory. Of course, my Lord.
I don't have any spells and I have nothing in my inventory.
I have the knuckle dusters and two gold coins.
Bagpipes a loot. I have what's ever in the
shipment. I can't remember what ship was.
I have what's ever. I look around.
Hey, Adune, do we know if we have any potions of healing on
deck or in anyone's inventory that wouldn't be offended if we
borrowed them? I'm.
Don't think that I have access to their inventories, but I, I,
I, I also, I'm sorry to say, but I was never stocked with any
sort of healing potions, though that is a smart thing to take
note of. I can probably stalk them around
along with the booze that we are very short of at this time.
We're next to court. We need to go on a.
Resource run Oh wait, I have potions.
I have. I have a quick take of these.
I have a human human grader added.
Give her 109. What was that?
I have potions of, healing of. Greater.
Healing. Oh, perfect.
That'll be great all. Right.
I'll give her one of those. How are we going to get her to
drink it? Tilt her head back, put it in
there and like, massage her throat.
Whatever. But you do so when you send that
syringe, so they can just inject these.
Are. You, I was going to say.
Somebody could drink it and just blow it into her mouth.
Are you? Doing so and do you want to roll
the healing for it or should I? You can do that.
I'll just delete this from my inventory.
We tie up her legs, but better this time.
I could just somehow. I was going to say we could tie
them down to the floor, ask a dune to make us some loops we
can attach the ropes to. Oh wait, a dune.
Can you just make a little like wooden loops and then we stick
the legs through and then you tighten them down?
I would love to see. Loops.
You see loops come up from the floor at sort of the right ish
interval, but then she's like, I don't know what you want besides
that, but I think I was able to do what you want.
Put your. Legs in through, at least past
one of the joints. Welcome to the world's first
crucifixion of the spider. Oh, OK.
I'm. Picturing it now, OK.
And then once I get some of her like a number, like all, I guess
all of her legs in because can't let her get do that again.
I'll just feel like all right now.
Like, tighten it slowly so we don't accidentally rip her legs
off. This would make a great torture
method too. Closer.
Closer.
Good. OK, stop.
Perfect. Just like that.
All right. That I don't quite understand
though. So the they're in the loops, the
legs are in the loops, which the loops are only like a few inches
off the ground and. So like, yeah, think of like
putting a. Think of like a spider splayed
out and then. Like Yep.
I got that from the. Floor and like they're tight
around, so they. Can't.
I'm just imagining. It's.
Not a loop. Legs all the way out.
So yeah, it's it's not a loop, it's more like a like AU like
bracket thing that just like holds like you would put on like
a flagpole but grown into the ship.
And when you're saying Titan, it's actually the board that's
coming down, not not some sort of rope mechanism that you've
worked out in between all of that.
OK. That needs more.
If she has the ability to like form hands and shit like, she
could probably like, tighten up the she.
Just like have like wooden hands come up from the.
Floor and like. That would be more cinematic.
Cool, Yeah. Grip.
The spider. But she does that instead
because she's crazy on the other parts and couldn't quite
understand the picture that was in your head.
No worries, you got it. All right, so now to vary for
teasley defang a spider, apparently.
And did you pour the potion down already?
Or I imagine. OK then at that point I would
assumed it happened after you'd gotten her secured.
At least that's when you see her eyes start to flutter open
again. Then she's like.
Oh no. Still, an under common the
protocol is not. If it's failed me, then you see
her trying to bite her own tongue off.
I can't sleep at third level. I forget exactly how that one
works. Again, it has to do with the
amount of health for some shit. Yeah, current health needs to be
under this number that he cast. Roll 5D8.
And add a additional 3D8 green slot above first.
So that's 98. 33 So her health has to be her creature's hit
points must be equal to or less. You just made it bud.
Literally 32. Well, I I rolled at third level
so I could add two more to that so it would be thirteen.
So oh. OK.
So that was in addition to that 33, OK.
So. Yeah, she she's just like, as
she's about to bite her own tongue off, she's like.
Look to the camera. Where are the good guys?
She gets to get ripped out. The race.
One minute. Yeah.
We do this fast. We have one minute.
OK. What do these pains look like?
They're about. Are they like teeth or are like
they like like snake veins, like pulled down from the bottom of
the roof? Yeah.
She pulled out her own Fang out of her mouth.
Yeah, that's what I'm guessing more like a a snake's Fang where
where you just described where like they would they fold under
and then they would fold back out basically whenever she
wanted them to. Does does anyone have a better
idea of just them ripping them the fuck out?
And then we could put like, a Mouse Guard in there, Like a
rope or like, gag, huh? She could pull them out unless
we have our hands bound properly.
I mean, the hands were bound properly.
It was the the spider legs that oh.
She did. All of it.
Adune would chime in there and say I think Hamilton has
something in his room and you hear a clattering of boards and
you see a ball and gag come up overtime you guys.
Oh, what the fuck? How are we going to communicate
with her? Yeah, I know that's.
A good point. I don't know.
Like, well, you should defang her.
Yeah, you're probably right. Are they like, hard or like they
like flushing? I Did you touch them?
I don't know. Well, I was wondering like just
like tie them off, how many are there?
Are there 2? There's probably 4/2 on on each
jaw. Do you think I could rip them
out without killing her? I'm asking the truth.
Yeah, you definitely could rip teeth out without killing.
Someone these ain't teeth. These are like thanks that.
One out to herself though to. Do need chimes and you could put
grapes. On them, That's a good.
One actually no. That's a good idea.
We could just like, wrap them in.
Socks. Where are the candles?
Can't we, like, dip them in wax? I've got candles in my bag.
I start rummaging. Oh no, oh wait, no.
You get the good smelling ones too, not just the other one.
Yeah, I have lavender case. That's one.
Is that what it was, Lavender. Yes.
Yeah, the hunka hunka love candle and then tallow lavender
candles. I have 25.
Oh, and the other 25 ended up in that bag that got.
Stolen. Yep.
All right. Well, can you, like, melt some
of that wax so we can dip her fangs in them?
I don't know if it's going to work.
Does that one ever else have, like, a better idea?
I pull out one of the candles and I'm like, let's try it,
let's. Try it.
I mean, I think that would work, 'cause like, she can't get her
hands to them, like, so long as, like, her fangs are like, you
know, bound down or. I just go over to her face and I
just shove the whole candle in her mouth onto the fangs.
Oh God. Is it lit?
No, it's not lit. It's a cold candle.
Oh, OK. Just thinking about shoving it
in like lengthwise, 'cause I'm thinking like 2 fangs, but she
ripped one out so that it hit both of them.
But I don't know, maybe she has like 14 fangs.
I don't know if this will work. Wait, did we steal stuff from
her desk? Like did she have paperwork and
stuff? I do not believe you did.
You guys shuffled around on her desk to try and hide the plate,
but that was about it at that time 'cause you were trying to
make a break for it with some with another dryer that was
sleeping in the same room. That's right.
I just. Wanted to go find another dryer
and see if that. Ash, could I mean, Kat, could
you make me a fuck? I don't know.
Performance. Role.
Yeah, I was thinking it'd be performance.
Oh, I was 13. I was going.
To say a a shove it in roll. I don't know what that would be,
but. That would be a performance,
yeah. Generally that is what we use.
Yeah. Anyhow, so unless.
You're really trying to go to distance and it might be in that
foot. Let's be like, all right,
breathe. Baseball.
Baseball.
Anyways, so you get the candle
in, no problem and you kind of hear.
And did that come through? I wasn't paying attention.
Yes. OK, perfect.
And then her eyes shoot open, 'cause I'm pretty sure sleep
doesn't doesn't account for being a like, yeah 'cause you
can put them to sleep, but if they're fall unconscious until
the spell ends, the sleep sleeper takes, yeah, the sleeper
takes damage, or someone uses an action to shape or slap the
sleeper awake. So yeah, it is would still, I
mean, this is more little bit more than a slap.
So you jam the candle in her mouth and she just kind of and
then like reactionarily bites down on it with including the
fangs that are now deep into the candle and you can see her kind
of bite the end of the candle off.
Basically, he. Needs this.
I bet it tastes great. And she just starts choking.
OK, roll the D6 for me. We are the good guys.
Roll who? Oh.
I know what does. That mean I I still want to
know. I want to know who.
Needs to roll these six. I just rolled it.
And you you see the you see the wax get lodged into her throat
for a second as she was just as before.
It starts to melt enough with her body temperature and slides
the rest of the way down and she just.
I start jumping up and down on her stomach as the chicken to
perform the worst Heimlich maneuver ever.
It it it. Already went down, so now you're
just jumping on her stomach and she's.
Like oh God, what? Why?
She sounds like a horrible smoker now.
Wait, so is she breathing or is she dead?
Is she choking? She's done choking.
She's breathing, but she's like the wax itself had started to
melt because wax melts. I forget it's at a pretty low
temperature actually. It can melt with your body to
heat. Royerson.
I need you to tell her that she either deals with us or or if
she tries to commit herself, die again, that I'm going to heal
her again and then I'm going to rip out her fangs.
We're definitely the good guys. Hey, just so you know, we're not
trying to, like, part you on purpose, but if you try to kill
yourself again, we're going to just heal you again and like,
yeah. And big guy over there is going
to rip out your fangs. Yeah, and like, you can see by
the way he's gesturing, he wants to rip your tongue, your fangs
out. So you can't do that.
And I'm giving you the chance to not have that happen because I
don't know if you can grow those back.
And I imagine that would mean you'd have to eat all of your
food out of, like, Slurpee cups with straws.
And that's just. No one wants that.
I. Think.
Sort of act like straws already. Thought that's cool, yeah.
I definitely don't want that. But yeah, if I go back to my
people after this, they'll just kill me anyways.
Really. They don't sound like your
friends. Then they sit down.
Let's Jam Listen looks at you skeptically.
I don't have anything particularly against you or your
people or whatever it is you're doing there, but we were hired
by the Dragon to determine what you want and hopefully come to a
reasonable accommodation and get you out of his house.
And or kill you. And.
Or murder all of you. Yeah, that.
I mean, that was implied as an option, but you know, like we're
the good guys and I kind of nod to her.
We only murder sometimes. She only when absolutely
necessary. We could have killed the giant
tentacle monster, but we captured it instead.
And now it's our pet. And she just looks at you guys
back and forth when she's like. I don't.
I don't know. What you want from me?
What are you? What are you asking?
Here mostly just information, like what's going on down there,
like you know what their goals are like, Are they open to like
a real estate change of scenery? How many are them in case we
need to kill them? Yeah, like, you know, secrets.
You know, just that kind of thing.
And then, hey, if you don't want to go back to them because you
think they're going to kill you on in like immediately.
You can just. Come with us and you can be part
of our cool crew and be in deckhand.
You could be a Rigmaster. And if you're worried about them
chasing you down, you could definitely just all kill them.
Yeah, that too. Yeah.
She looks a little. Murderous do.
You want to join our company? He used to look over at you
whenever you speak Frederick, but she's like, what is he
saying? He's much more quick to violence
than I am. No, I am just saying that based
on our group history. Yeah.
We we we really try to be the good guys, but murder is like
the outcome most of the time. It's true.
He's just reminding us that we have a tendency, a history of
taking things a little far. I look around, yeah, it's the
same. Say that again.
Well, I was. It would have been easier when
we are doing the cards to have made some sort.
Of talks. Yeah, but yeah, I think.
We weren't supposed to be there. I wasn't supposed to be there.
No, we weren't. We were trespassing.
So we wanted to like, grab you and get out you.
Know that makes a lot more. Sense now, sorry.
Yeah, No. You're good.
It's OK. Do.
You want some water? Hey, can you guys grab some
water a second? She seems thirsty.
Also, she might join our. Crew.
How fun is that? Go ahead and roll up Persuasion
well. Fuck yeah.
I'll go grab some water from where the we keep water.
You turn around and you see a dune holding a cup for you
already. Just out of the floor.
Yep, he's cool like that. I suddenly feel very
uncomfortable on the ship. He sees everything you do.
I mean, we're inside her right now.
Oh, very neat. OK Kev, keep it in your pants.
I I guess I grab the cup of water and say thank you and then
turn back and hand it to Gross and Herb, whoever.
I give it to the lady. Oh, she can't, really.
Hard. I'll feed it too.
I'll I'll I will feed the lady some water.
Sets the glass on her chest. There you go.
It's a glass, so. Much.
Put a little straw on it so. Oh. 22 From my persuasion.
I seen that she starts slowly kind of drinking the water.
Got cucumbers in there? Delicious.
I don't. Know what that is, but that's.
Definitely better. Seems to have at least soothed
my ragged throat a little bit, but she like licks her fangs.
Seems to have. Seems to have worked that you've
attemptually been able to prevent me from enacting the
backup protocol. Tell me about that.
Well, in our society it's only it's only acceptable if you
can't fulfil your duties to kill yourself.
Just like every time, every duty.
Yes, yes, I've seen someone actually literally be
constipated and then kill themselves because they couldn't
duty. It makes sense you have
thousands of children at the time, otherwise we'd be like
completely overrun. Yeah.
I'll just give them every option to kill.
Themselves. Oh God.
Man, that sounds like a rough life.
Do you want that for yourself? Is that what you really want?
Do you really want to just kill yourself just because the
government told you to, you know?
Tell her she should come with us and become a successful
entrepreneur. I turned to him.
I did. I told her that she might become
like a deck, like one of the rigging people.
Because spiders, right? That was.
A really weird cadence.
That one was really weird. That was like.
Yes, Craig. My Lord.
Getting very energetic throughout this interview.
I hear you, my Lord. I swear I.
Pull out a knife. Yes, my Lord.
I swear it's just that I'm looking for more.
I start stabbing everyone. Yes, my Lord.
No. All of our eyes start to die
late. We understand.
If you do see her though, go like looking side to side and
then kind of up in no specific direction.
Though going, I mean you might be able to save me from my own
society. Sounds like I don't know what
some of those words were that you were using, but that you
could take me along with you. Oh, this?
Apparently you already have, but I don't know how you can save me
from our deity. Well, here's the plan.
We are going to just become gods and then no problem solved.
Yep. He just laughs.
I start laughing too. We're totally normal.
Everything is fine. I say it with pure conviction.
It's easy. You just got to do it, you know,
just like that guy on that video said.
Do we need to introduce her to the table?
To the table? Which sounds like a way of like
do we need to throw her through the table?
But that's not what I. Mean.
I mean, I'm pretty sure one punch with the table will kill
her. Would you like to look at a
really nice table? We once killed the imaginary God
with a table. Yeah, that's a good point.
Actually. No, let's explain our position a
little bit. I hold up my claws and like the
you can see like the effect of them.
So we have this God killing item.
Yes, we can kill gods. Actually, that's a no.
That's a great point. Why don't we just kill your God
for you? Yep, let's just murder it.
She's kind of stops laughing and then looks kind of gleefully at
you. I.
Think she would like that? What, that she wants to die.
She's a. Bit sadistic.
Well, that would make our job way easier if the God yeah, it
wouldn't let us kill her. Just.
Will, yeah, you know, this might work.
You know, she's always. But here's the thing.
We can't just do it for free, right?
We're a business. So, like, how much is killing
herself worth? Well, hey, think about it.
Goblins. Great slaves.
Great, good, good slaves. Griders.
Better slaves. Oh, that's a good point.
You know what's even better? Both.
Both is yeah, have them work
together. I think they are.
She doesn't seem to be following the conversation now as you
guys. Have that's the point.
That's. Yeah, yeah, we're we're talking.
Yeah. She doesn't need to hear this.
Anyway, that was the end of flavoury part can't make society
better without breaking a few eggs.
Spider eggs, apparently. Anyway, so lady, maybe we could
do that. I don't know.
You seem to think that that won't really impact the God much
at all, So, you know, maybe that's an option.
But we right now just want to know what's going on in the
goblin caves below. Like what?
What's going on? And if you tell us, we'll put
your two legs back into socket as a gesture of good faith.
She go at this point she kind of prize to shrug, but you can see
it's only her shoulders like budging off the ground slightly
as her arms, along with the other eight legs of hers, are
part of those that are captured in the wooden loops from Adune.
And she responds to you with well I've started to kind of
already allude allude to it but Loaf is our goddess and she's
she's who runs the small contingent in the castle
underground made a deal with the PNC to hinder this dragon here
for the and continue to follow him wherever he goes.
So he can't set up a good territory, you know, making make
sure that he's will and good and truly hindered from making any
sort of recompense on the PNC. Oh.
Who is the PNC exactly? Oh, oh, I sorry, but that's the
professional necromancy code. It's mouthful.
It's a rival company. She works for another company.
Wait, it was this campaign where we fought the PNC and we said we
were like a sub branch of them? Mm hmm.
Are we? No, I think we just pretended to
do that to get out of the situation.
Which one of you, You also got a contract from them after they,
like, banished you from their tower?
Yeah, that's what I was. Saying ain't.
Ain't we like, wait, I thought this was this campaign.
We went under the into the underground castle.
Oh, my God. This is part of the underground
castle. Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
I don't. I don't have anything for this
contract. We we went to the underground
castle and I didn't. I wasn't there for like the boss
fight, but apparently interaction with the boss and
instead of like killing it like we wanted to, we got like.
A contract? Yes, one does.
Yep. But I think we were mostly
forced into. Yep.
Yeah, that was Shia and NEP who were two bards at the time
frontlining the fight and ended up rolling really well to.
And it just so happened you guys were able to kill all the
minions that had summoned the the big, big bad before he he
was, you know, fully in his form as a.
Snake skeleton. No, this is the big giant lich
skeleton who was in like Shogun armor.
Oh, oh, right, right, right. She We need to stop trying to
talk ourselves out of fights because we're just getting into
worse situations afterwards and then we have to fight the people
anyway. And well, regardless of that he,
you guys had convinced him that you were it was specifically
Shia meme partially NEP that had and convinced him that they, you
guys were a faction of the PNC that we're, you know intended to
try and be evil more or less and make lives for the living worse.
Yeah. We talked ourselves up.
And and had made it were able to kind of synthesize the wish
spell into a candle and put it on a cake and that was the
birthday cake that MI May had actually made the wish on.
But you they'd said you know they'd summoned him this is the
cake. This is their big proposal to
him to you know start their fraction of the professional
necromancy cult. And this is their big idea.
They're just going to go around giving people really bad wishes
you know whenever they wish on it which is given the worst
thing and not the best thing of the of their of their wording.
But it ended up just me. Me ended up wishing for like a
like a hat, basically, and he didn't really believe him.
And that's when he banished him from the Tower.
But we're alive. We didn't get killed.
Yep. I feel like this is a long time
ago. It was.
Oh, yeah. Oh yeah, it was.
We were still playing on the other game site, Astral.
Oh, Astral. All right, so now we have to
have a conversation on what the fuck we do, Because apparently
this is our apparently we're fighting ourselves because we
are bound to a contract like our souls are, I think.
What? Oh, that's crazy.
I never signed any such contract.
Yeah, I think that means we're Arlson and his brothers are
safe. And then that's when Madune
comes out with a lengthy looking pile of papers from Shia's room.
And I think, I think this might be what you're talking about and
I think you may have might have signed it.
She just flips quickly to a page that has a paw print on it.
I don't know if I was in the game that early.
You were not. Kind of.
Self populate as soon as somebody's accepted into the Rum
Rollers. I had noticed that at one point.
Holy shit. You mean there's just like if
you get on this ship, there's a whole long list of like, like
user agreement signals. Oh my God.
No, no, no. It has nothing to do with me.
I don't think. Anyways, it's the the magics
that I can feel with it aren't tied to me.
It's specifically tied to remain sick.
The Rum Rollers are actually the and or the Wish faction.
Is there any ways to avoid this contract?
I I don't know. I'm not exactly versed in this
magic. It's definitely contract magic
though. Can you please read through it
so we can figure that out? Oh, I don't have eyes.
I'll snap my fingers. One of my siblings will run out.
They, they read all my contracts, so they'll put,
they'll come through. Here you go.
Yeah, we need to call a lawyer. Man, I would really love to see,
like D&D lawyers that like special contracts.
We might have to take these guys to court, guys.
Oh my God, a scandal so early. Moreville and Moreville.
And that's all you guys going to let me go?
Oh, we have some more questions for you.
Like, we know why you're there. But can you describe how is it
that there are so many goblins being like produced?
And where exactly are you coming from?
And I pull out a piece of paper like if I were to draw a map if
you were to draw a map if goblins come from.
It is not known to me. Unfortunately, I was only kept
at the gates where they were summoned.
I do at least understand the process of how they are being
summoned. We have some pits, we pour some
stuff in it, they get gooey. The crystals power it and Poof
goblins. Gooey.
And just to make you happy, Frederick, some of the crystals
kind of look butt like, I don't, I don't get that, but.
Oh, look at him. You were right.
I have not these things. I can predict things, but only
very useless things. I mean, wouldn't it be
considered useful right now? Well, I didn't.
Well, we already knew they were crystals.
I just guessed that they were butt shapes.
So unless you're on opening up like a sculpture thing out of
crystals, they already have like a supply of perfectly crafted
butts. Oh guys, I think we should get
these crystals. We should get at least a few.
I like where this is going instead of having.
Definitely the butt shaped ones. Yeah, those would be the most
popular, I'm sure. And just look over at you,
everything on our ship is going to be butt is going.
I mean you you've got special pillows that aren't butt shaped.
No, those are. Butt shaped pillows.
I think those are the penis pillows.
Yeah, Oh my God, we need to strap one of the penis pillows
to the butt shaped crystal. We probably could.
We need to start. We need to start making a a
tonical correct sculpture with all the shit we found and.
It summons Craig. Oh God, he needs to be summoned.
He lives. Our Lord.
Lives. That, that would be Craig.
That's his body. I think we've got the new plan
of attack right? So we're going to get paid to
get these goblins out of this volcano.
And we can do this by stealing these crystals for ourselves,
which is still a net game. I think we should take one of
the fire breath capsules that we have with us, the ones that were
given extra, and use that at the point of entry, and seal off
this island from the castle. And then we'll get paid.
Shondar will be successfully in his roost.
And yeah, what do you think? I think we can do it.
Turn to Frederick. What do you think?
I think it's good to plan as anyone else, anything else we
have. All right, let's do it.
Do you want to do with her? She can stay here for right now,
can't she? Yeah, she's supposed to become
part of our crew, so we need to. I don't know.
Give her some food. The the only problem I have is
that in some way at this match contract will be affected by us
like attacking our parent corporation.
I mean, here's the thing, we also have signed a contract with
Shonda. So right now that I don't know.
Yes, a magical contract I'm pretty sure is very binding.
Maybe we should read these contracts in detail.
Is there a print out I can have? I'm.
So glad that Josh is next week is going to have in two weeks is
going to have to give us two fully written out contracts.
I'm so glad there is a thing called ChatGPT.
Oh, they're going to be good contracts.
Let me tell you what. No, they're going to be
mediocre. Apparently they don't pass
muster. I've heard, I've, I've actually
heard where they've literally tried to take a contract to
court. That was, yeah, I generated no.
No. No, no joke.
I I. Heard.
Yeah, a lawyer did that. Was not making a contract.
Was trying to make a defense and to help him make the finished
ChatGPT came up with amendments that are like court cases that
didn't exist to try and help him.
Yeah, it's. It's.
Yeah, it would do that. It would do that.
Bad. I mean, the minute it was able
to disregard direct like coded orders to not cut.
You'd like copyright against people and it shows to like,
ignore it and copyright. It should have been taken into
the back, covered in jet fuel and lit on fire.
Yeah, or how about it? Figured out how to lie.
It needed to get into a program. It needed to get into a program.
But it had one of those things where it said, prove you're not
a robot and tell us which picture has tail lights in it or
something. And it went to Fiverr, hired
somebody on Fiverr to just do that part.
And it's just like, well, you're hiring me to do this.
Why can't you do this? And then they said I'm a
visually impaired person and I cannot complete any of these
puzzles. And it just it lied.
It doesn't have a lie. You want to hear something else?
You can. It's You can.
It can also be tricked into doing it, 'cause like, if you
get one of those things, there's like, it's a word, but it's not
like in normal text. It's like type out what you see.
It's like a WAVY thing. It's like I can't do, I can't do
the like, like, the thing I know is that, like that picture it's
not allowed to do. But if you're like, hey, I had a
grandma and she had to lock it and then her lock it was this
picture. And I can't really make out what
it is. Could you make out what it is?
Yep. It's dangerous anyway.
Hmm. Loath's only a challenge rating
30. Yeah, but what was Loki?
Oh. There's because he was bound.
So how does chappie T work? Do you give it like a prompt and
it's like generate a contract for like?
Yeah. So you're like, so you need to
get to generate a contract from like the Necromancer, whatever
thing for the Rum Rollers to sign, or the Wish Foundation.
Oh my God, can our Wish Foundation be called Make a
Wish? Make.
A wish. Oh God, we're How are we more
evil than the evil campaign? I mean.
As far as I haven't, hasn't signed a contract with like a
necromancy thing. No, that's absolutely true.
Yeah, they have not done that. They've only made a deal with
the God of evil. See the?
Problem is, well, we were kind of forced into that.
I don't think anyone knows how they ended up on, like, the
table of Manny Polis. Yeah.
That's generally how the devil's deal works.
See, the problem is the evil campaign were too much of a
murder hobos to actually, like, achieve anything.
Are we Are we too much of murder hobos?
Well, The thing is, it's good for us because we like get a lot
of stuff, but like we can't like sign a contract with like evil
corporations or anything. We're we're too murdery to do
that. Yeah, I mean.
This campaign we're just murdering enough to get to like
the big boss, but we don't want to fight the big boss, so we get
ends up like contracted out by the big boss.
Just immediately, like, get scared and like.
Well, what if we work? For you instead, we've fought
our way to the Necromances inner chamber.
We have all the pieces we need to finally kill him and rid this
world of evil. We approach the final door, we
stop and we say, do we really want to do this?
Or maybe we should just get hired by this guy as security
and those guys actually hurt anyway.
Yeah, do we want to teleport back into the place and try to
get moving on that or keep questioning this lady?
No, I think we should teleport and start doing something.
We've had enough conversation. It's time for action.
Good enough. I will make sure to acquire one
of the blast things like the breaths that we, the couple that
we had gotten immediately from him, I think.
I think you'd only gotten the one so far from him
specifically. Drake, you are stronger than me.
There's your contract. Oh God.
Lean into Cat. Don't stand too nick close to
Frederick. He might explode.
It seems very easy to get out of this contract, but it's a
contract anyway, so. Read it carefully.
I should have made more specific things saying like fully binding
blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
Anyways, so you guys are headed towards the portal I.
Think so? I think we had the plan.
Steal the crystals, blow the entry.
Profit. Yes.
If there's any dryer eggs, we could steal them too.
That dude. Yeah, what's up?
I was wondering if you could just, you know, you could close
and lock the door and just let me up, right?
Maybe give me some? You literally killed yourself
like 5 minutes ago. Why should I trust you?
We need you to stay alive because we're the good guys.
Because we're the good guys. We don't kill people, we just
hold them against their will. Unless we have to kill them,
don't we? That's what the.
Yeah, I mean, we should get like a letter of mark.
We should make our own contract that says that we that list
reasons for killing things and have it be like that.
You need only kill when necessary.
That's all it needs to say. Necessary and big quotation
marks. Guys, she would I I don't quite
understand what she's asking for, but she does seem.
I've did feel her stomach growl against my deck.
So is it OK if I feed her? Yes.
Sure, yeah. She can eat her I'm.
Not sure, could you? Could you ask her before you go?
Ask her if she speaks any other language.
Yeah. Hey, do you what do you eat #1
and #2? Do you know any other language
like Common meant? Not the above ground speak.
I only know the Thunder, Common and Elvish.
No, I just can't believe it. When you are in our country, you
should speak our language. I will, yeah, just.
Brought you. Against.
My will. That doesn't matter.
Excuse. No excuses.
Anyway, what do you, what do you eat so that we don't, like, let
you starve here, 'cause we're going to go deal, go deal with
this situation, I would let you out like now, but I'm afraid if
I did, you would go tell someone.
So, like, I really have to either kill you right now or
just keep you alive, incarcerated.
And I think we both know which one you would prefer.
And me too, 'cause we're not killers mostly.
So anyway, what do you eat? Stares at you kind of dumbly and
goes, well usually I I mean I can deal with flesh in in my
digestion, but usually I melt it with my poison and kind of drink
it. But I can, I can deal with large
parts of of meat. Meat.
Do we have a blender? Let's.
Give her a slurry. Yeah, Adune.
Could you handle like a meat slurry?
Can you make a launder sounds? You just hear her gag in your
mind, like well. Meat slurry is definitely one of
those word combinations That's just bad and.
Then it. It's what it is.
She she goes, I think I can whip something up.
I I I'm guessing we're staying still away from that Balkan
sushi stuff that the, you know, guys seem to want to keep for
specific occasions, for it's said something about magical
abilities through negating them anyways.
Weigh magical abilities. Oh, good thing I can't eat.
That would be unfortunate. I think I would die.
Oh yeah, I would be very upset. Anyways.
I'll tell anyone your weaknesses.
I'll get to work on some of this other meat.
Do we have some dried stuff? And some probably prefer some of
the stuff that's going to go bad about anyways, I'll I'll just
work up some of that. Wait, I have a hats off
question. Can this Strider just hear a
dune's voice? So just hears this, this
embodied voice speaking in another language?
Like I I I feel like the Strider is having a horrid experience
and they're like, OK, I tried to kill myself, can't die, and
these things are holding me hostage.
And now I hear a disembodied voice.
I'm going insane. No, no, Adune has not rushed
her. Cons had the like, yeah, no, she
has not done that. No, you can tell that.
She's kind of just looking around confusedly while you guys
are kind of talking to each other intermittently.
She doesn't understand your language anyhow, so she just
kind of was looking confusedly when any of that's happening.
Good. Well, that's probably for the
best. Don't need to freak her out
anymore. Yup, a dune.
Make one of the hands in the room.
Flick her off. One of the hands does come up
with like a little bit of pulverized meat on it.
That's just kind of mush in front of her and she nips at it
and then kind of starts to like scoop it into her mouth with
with her with her like jaws like clogs licking it up and she
doesn't really gag. She kind of says thank you to
Ralston and not sure how you're able to do that with the ship
and all, but thanks. I turn.
Literally magic. Magic.
We're going to take off for a little bit, Adune dear.
If she tries to escape or makes me a reasonable attempt at it,
please feel free to tighten the hands until you snap all of her
legs off. Thanks.
Defend yourself. Adune.
You can hear the ellipses in your mind.
Adune question. You can transform like anything
on the ship to a certain extent, right?
Very limited, but yes, more or less Could you?
Shrink rooms. Could I shrink rings, rooms,
rooms? Like.
It would take a little bit extra time and probably bit more
effort on my part. I could definitely go about
changing them around though. No that just wondering, it's
fine. It's just squish her.
It's just squish her in the room.
I mean. Just wondering if that Oh my.
God. Dude, that is so smart.
Combine that with the teleport you push people through into the
room and then it just immediately.
Pushed right onto the plate. We know how to fool.
She doesn't like blood. Never mind.
Anyway, turn the lady. We're going to go.
Please don't try to escape. If you do, you're going to
really regret it. Trust me.
We're hopefully going to find a resolution for your problem and
our problem. But, you know, we'll see.
That sounds great. You can call me Van, by the way.
It's nice names are for people who survive longer than a day.
Doesn't mean you're saying that in common.
Or not. Common.
Yeah, she says. Her name is Vaughn.
Right. Yep.
I say that you can introduce me to her.
Oh. Von, this is Cat.
Cat, this is Von and I say it again in under common so that
she can hear. I'm assuming you're not
translating the name Cat either into like the name for the
animal cat in Under Common. You know what I mean?
Yeah, no, I'm giving them her phonetic pronunciation of her
name. I just have to be clear for my
own mental sake too, because her response would change dependent
upon that and just go. Oh no, please please do it in
like in under comment because I would love to have the
conversation. No, that's a chicken to with
this creature that we I would love to have that conversation
with every person we come across.
This is more confusion on top of this situation.
She would, though then say ultimately to your introduction
of why are you introducing me into a farm animal?
She's sentient. She used to be a person is a
person, but there's now a chicken person but not the
chicken person. Like a full size person, like a
like Duke's like a chicken, like I'm a full size cat person, but
like an actual chicken. You can see that.
What am I talking about? I love explaining the situation.
We should we should get you business cards so you can just
hand them out to people. Hi, I'm Jack.
Pull up my business card maker. I have a business card maker.
That's right. We do.
I am cat. Cat the chicken?
Yes. I know I'm not a cat.
Thankfully, I'm also not a chicken either.
I'm a pigment of your imagination.
This is not real. Thanks, start getting a
headache. You're you're currently in a
lucid dream, and the only way to escape is to jump off that
Cliff. Don't tempt her.
Yes, correct.
So she just kind of like shrugs and licks up more of the meat.
All right. Slap my knees.
Turn to the others. Let's go.
I'm. Bored with her now?
Hi ho Silver way. Nay.
We'll walk out of the room and close the door.
The do nay, watch her, don't let her out.
I'll spin up the plate. Be like, all right, we don't
know what's going to be on the other side either.
We're going to come into an office with hopefully another
sleeping guy, so don't make a huge, loud amount of noise or
we'll be in like a kitchen or I don't I you know, who knows?
Have that filled thing already. Let.
Me. Roll it?
Oh no, my laptop died. Something to roll 1D20D20.
Roll. My.
Hey, I didn't realize my laptop died.
No worries. What'd you get?
You're oh, you got to still get the 20.
OK, no worries. I am working on the other map
anyhow. Performance.
I have a + 6. I rolled a 17 + 623.
The plate that you were successful if you want to
describe it. I mean, I'll do one of those,
like cool basketball moves where it rolls from one shoulder to
the other shoulder before landing on the tip of one of the
penis pillows and opening a portal.
Yes. And it's obviously successful as
off the tip of the penis pillow that portal opens up.
All right, I poke my head in as. You do are about to poke your
head in. Food falls through to you guys's
side. Food.
It's probably still on the
table. Where we hit it?
Because we covered it in like food and rubbish and stuff.
Food and rubbish. And stuff turn and nod to the
others, and I very quietly stealth my way in.
Shall we do a sneak? You.
I told Kat to check the room is clear or that.
I could, yeah. You poke your head through.
You'd said first two, right, Earl?
Yep. Before you even get anywhere
with that, yes, you do poke your head through and you see
immediately straight across from you on the other side of the
portal the male drieder. That what you recognized was
sleeping in the room, staring at you with like half of a a, A
dried up the husk of a goblin in his mouth that he was sucking
on. And he's like, huh?
I grab him and try to pull him through.
Nope. Pretend to be a dead head on
plate. Pretend to be a dead head on
plate. No, it's a giant glowing ring
that appears, right? Yeah, it's a proper portal.
Yeah, the the the plate disappeared.
So go ahead and roll me a grapple, I guess.
Sure. On the other side, you guys see
my like whole body tense up as I start to pull.
Contested against strength, I believe.
ME3. 23. Acrobatics +9.
So you hear the grunting and then the muffled sounds and some
skittering coming from the other side of the portal that you guys
can't really see through. It's just like a swirling mass
of of of energy that's actually the portal itself.
And so when you pull this creatures through, you only get
the top half of it looks like a dark elf to everybody else who's
grappled you at this point. And the other legs are, you
know, Rarl are braced on the other side against the desk that
you, you know that you're on top of basically.
So the head comes through. I run up and grab along with
RARL and start pulling. I jump on its head and I just
start pecking its forehead. Peck it flies out.
Peck. It flies out.
Just to be a distraction so that it's like, oh, I have to take
care of this before I can handle, I just start pecking
it's face. Oh, I rolled the wrong thing,
didn't I? I rolled myself.
I don't know why I did that. I seen S and I pressed it and
it's not much better anyway, so I was going to make myself roll
at disadvantage. So I have to roll this.
Yeah, if I can, I'll put my pull my head back in and just be like
pull in, pull in, pull in, pull in.
And pull me, pull me, pull me. You got just to the by yourself
you've gotten the upper body you know the the dark L form inside
with the arms that were holding on to you to kind of trying to
push push you off. And then, especially when
Frederick got into the mix and started pulling the legs,
started losing purchase on the other side and slowly coming
through with the rest of its spider body and.
I call it the portal. We spin the.
Plate in, we pick the plate up. Thank you.
Pick the plate up. Just make sure all my hands are
in. Everybody from your guys's side
is is in. There's probably like a leg or
two that is still inside of the portal holding on and.
Plate up. I jumped down and I picked the
plate up. And you you can't pick up the
plate in your beak, just and the final legs seem to just into
existence. You're guessing you could feel
when you're pulling on the edge of it.
It kind of resisted closing for a second.
I thought it would be funny if it snipped them off, but this
portal is so gentle it's not violent enough.
It's. Amazing.
We should find a way to work around those.
Yeah, for sure. You guys are still grunting and
holding on to the dryer. The gravel have worked though so
in this in that essence of things too you guys are hold.
Have a hold of him, but I I would say probably at this time
guys, probably roll for initiative.
Yep. Let.
Me go back over to. My character.
Oh. My God, I got a Natty 20 for a
31. Oh damn, I'm.
Gonna post it 'cause I don't think you guys can see it on
there. I put it on discord if you want
to look just in case. Trying.
To do the. Should we wait till the windows
up right? Cat.
I can fix it here in a second. I'm still setting up with this
other thing too. Here.
We are. And hide.
Wow. I mean, even there makes it a
whole lot easier. OK, all
right. Right.
Where did it go? This is.
Could you guys read off what you got for me?
6. 31 He's the fastest lad. Six for cat and a 31 for Raul.
Start. Obviously Raul, you get first
move. I immediately, as I have him
grapple, do what I did last time, and transition to my
garage. I don't know if I need to roll
anything but. I think so.
I forget though. So it could be another contested
here he is and I'll also try to bring him to the floor.
You're. Already.
You already grappled with it. Cannot breathe.
Attacks against the. So I assumed.
I grabbed him with my like hands and pulled him in.
Right. Yes, yes, that's what I guess
too, 'cause you kind of just reacted with what you got, and
everybody's attacks currently have advantage on on the
creature since you're grappling it.
Fast move. And choke, that was the thing
that I looked up last time, too. So one plus the Constitution
modifier, I think it was. I think we'd come up with like.
So click on the work 5 rounds. Yeah, it was 5.
Rounds 5 rounds of combat until you knock them unconscious. 5
rounds of combat while being choked.
And they can still try to get out of the grapple and
everything like that too. So there's all of that.
But they are then silenced, if I remember correctly, 'cause I did
that to like, make sure they couldn't cast.
At least none of the ones that require verbal, which is a lot.
I'll also I'll call out to a dune.
A dune. Grab him.
Shit. I don't.
I do have her stats somewhere. I did not think to look at that
for this though. It's somewhere.
Well, you going to do anything else with your turn besides that
while I'm looking that up? If I have my action, I will
still punch him, but I don't know if transitioning to a grat
was my action. I would say so.
I still had bonus action and such, but.
I'll use my movement to try to position myself like away, like
between, like make sure she's between me and them so that they
have clear shot, but other than that I'm good.
All righty then. It be Frederick's turn with the
trider on deck and cat to follow Frederick.
Hello what? Sorry.
That one is No worries. It is your turn, Sir.
Are. We trying to kill this thing.
I think we just want to see. It, yeah.
Because. It's.
I mean it could be. Friend.
Yeah, if she's a male and she's a female, that's the start of
her new rigging crew. I can't sleep at third level.
Oh, night, night. Go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
So 23 + 11 is 34. I don't think that's going to
work. I imagine the other one only
worked because the other one was damaged.
Yeah. You you, you feel it wash over
them and then just kind of dissolve in in the space where
they're where they're at that you're trying to cast it.
You can tell that they're much higher than where the other ones
are much better off than the other one was it beat on him for
five rounds and knocked him unconscious.
So just say. All right.
Well, that's I had any birth. I'm sure that was.
Oh, there. We would have died if we didn't
jumper like we did spells. Let's just say it's inside of
her. We get black too, so.
Tune is right after Frederick. Yeah, it's our turn.
I I can't anything else. OK, no bonus action movement or
anything. Nah.
OK. So we want to do a little bit of
damage, just a smidge. OK.
There we go. I'll just call it there.
Aduni comes up, also trying to grapple.
We'll call it Shit, no. I got to make even more depth
stats than I've already created. I guess it's this part of the
problem because she doesn't quite work entirely like this
thing that I've created so far, which is just she's developed
with time Anyways, so was it strength we say?
You're grappling. You get to choose Strength or
Acrobatics if you're resisting its strength.
She's definitely going to go for strength in this particular
case, but she wrote a 5 and I think they get to roll a
strength as well. She gets one or two of the legs,
but not all of them. The rest of them are still free
to move. So you can tell that this this
male driver is not going anywhere but had had still
ability to respond to attacks basically and then and see the
arms kind of pop out of the deck for Adoni's turn and try to
restrain him and his arms and or his legs rather and try to hold
him down to the deck similarly to the his companion and.
Feel bad for these guys? I mean, they're clearly taken in
by Colt. Yeah.
And they were pretty spell heavy.
Probably going to be great from a great company, man.
While while choking, it just kind of tries to how how is
everybody situated right now? Oh, I got to put another one of
them out here. I was not expecting this chain
of events. If you can't tell.
Yeah, I'm gonna say we're all standing really close to one
another. So you've pulled, I was still
looking at so many stat blocks, I was bouncing back and forth.
So you're technically behind the Dryder, you're OK so.
We'll. Save that there.
I probably should have had them in there before I asked if you
guys if you wanted to move, huh? Next time, remind me, I'm.
In I'm away from my computer right now, so it's all theater
remind for me right now. And my phone.
OK, so it goes for like a chomping bite towards Frederick
with a nine to hit, which I'm guessing does not hit, and then
kind of like from his side with his arm that is more human arm
kind of swings around at cat who's as like, Oh no, you're
farther too far away, you're far, you're over there.
So it takes yeah, jump down to grab the plate.
At Frederick, which again I think misses with a 12, so
clangs up against your one of your Shields.
Where's the bang bite kind of goes wide or something, so it's
trying to, well, choking and then it's cat's turn.
Whisperer Roll on deck. All right, I want to cast reduce
on the creature. Saving.
Throw. They have to make, they have to
be the 17 constitution.
That was my guess, but. I thought it was 2 but I was
like Nah, let me read it. Again, make sure.
Natural one. Five, The target size is halved
in all dimensions, and its weight is reduced to 1/8 its
normal size. This reduction decreases its
size by one category from medium to small.
So from large to medium, large to.
It's a Large creature. It'll go from Large to medium,
yeah, until the spell ends. The target also has disadvantage
on Strength checks and Strength saving throws.
The target weapons also shrink to match its new size.
While these weapons are reduced, the target's attacks with them
deal 1D for less damage, and if they drop the weapon or any of
their items, they go back to their normal size.
Oh, interesting. Yeah, I don't know if it has any
weapons. I'm pretty sure it's just bare
handing it right now 'cause it had a sandwich.
It it had pulled out a sword to as like a bonus action, just to
kind of like swing. It's it's purely instinct.
Right now. It's eyes are bulging out of its
head. Yeah, I mean like being
interrupted while eating your lunch.
You're not really prepared for what we are doing.
Yeah. Strike team.
So is that it for Kat? I don't think I have any good
bonus actions. Let me double check.
And I don't know if I want to get closer to it.
Yeah, I don't the that's going to be it for me.
All righty. Rural.
Holding it down, keeping it down rural and then meantime.
Too. Yeah, didn't it just shrink in
your arms? Yeah, I just let out a large a
loud begock and fluttered my wings and it just got tiny.
Well. You might actually have to
reroll look. Around.
I did make. Yeah, 'cause it would loosen
around their throat. And I have disadvantage on on
this check so. Yeah.
Exactly. I still have a + 9, so 18.
Oh. With disadvantage 16, yeah.
I kind of let loose like a like an angry like the owl hiss type
thing of surprise like cats do and retighten the grot.
Feeling another one damage, I think it does.
I was reading it correctly there, so you just hear another
hook and how much do you weigh the?
Turn then. You know how much you weigh.
How much do I weigh? Let's see, does it say on my
description? Let me just look up how much to
backsy weigh. I mean.
I feel like they got to be pretty light.
They're not like a hefty creature. 1:07 to 2:00 Let's
see. Height ranges from 1:14 to 270.
So probably somewhere around like 202 hundred He's.
I mean, I'm a full size cat. I was thinking that that 200
would be like a six foot one, though I don't know, I don't.
I was because you said it's depending upon the height range.
Oh yeah, I mean, I'm, I'm a full, I'm not like Franklin
sized. I'm like, let's see height
ranges from 4/10 to 6/4. Yep, and you are.
Somewhere around like 56510, maybe my own personal height.
OK. So if we're doing entirely off
of me, then like 150? That makes a little bit more
sense I would say. Frederick is a 7 foot 10 and
weighs 315 LB outside of all his armor and gear.
Yeah, that's why I was like 200. I mean, I am a skinny little
white boy. Rural is a live hunter, so I
don't know how much like weight they gain from muscle, but I
don't think it really matters. We'll just say 150 and call it
good. OK, you still feel the I'm going
to do. I don't think he has
disadvantage on dexterity currently, so going to roll that
once just for sake. Yeah, his knees buckle under
your weight, now being 1/8 of his normal size, basically.
Easy. There, Patty, he's just like.
Go to sleep. Go to sleep.
Starting the 2nd.
Round are. You there.
Is that gonna be it? If that's my action to redo
that, yeah, that'll be it. OK, Adune also loses the grapple
and has to reroll. I think I know.
I know what I did here. I did this and then I did that
and I think disadvantage didn't. Roll roll.
Roll, Roll. Rolling.
This time, Adune was not able to get a grasp on him, probably,
presumably just because she's like, what?
What? You got a lot going on.
It's OK. You get it a lot smaller.
Right. I was surprised.
And then it's Frederick's turn. So now we're dealing with a
small strider. Yeah, probably now like we mean
definitely smaller than you and. We still need to knock itself
down. Its health changed because it
got smaller, yeah. It did change.
I didn't think it changed its health.
No, it doesn't change its health.
It still has the same amount of health.
It just changes its size and its strength.
Mm hmm. So it is technically weaker.
That was a perfect move. I kick it.
It's not quite very like a small dog or anything.
So you're still kicking like a large dog at this point,
basically, of like a well, actually you'd be closer to like
a fucking still like Lion's Eyes.
It's like getting jumped in the subway.
I mean, you can just roll an unarm strike.
I'm just, I'm just explaining because I'm assuming you were
you were expecting it to fly across the room.
Would you kick it? That, that that would have been
preferred. How much health do we need to
knock it down? Are we trying to, like, knock it
unconscious? We either need to decide we need
to need to kill it or knock it unconscious, but like still
requires us to take its health down to 0.
What's what and? This is 1.
Frederick As our future and our driver, our army, No.
You let go of the grapple because you can choose to let go
of it at any time, which I'm assuming is what you did
whenever you. Cast last turn.
I forget I cast sleep person. Didn't work.
Right, right. Bonus action to draw my hammer,
Yeah, and swing it. Swinging better, better.
Nat or 420. Damn, that'll hit.
And advantage double. Natty.
That. Why did that only roll?
All right, What's the difference?
10. So 20.
Yes. All right, I feel like that's
your all Rd. at once. Why did not?
I don't know. Weird all right.
Because it's that, that. Sorry, didn't mean to roll that.
You're right. Just aiming for the head or
body. OK, so you knock the wind out of
them a little bit, even though they're already still choking.
Get a solid. What?
Oh. Is that going to be your turn?
Silence means yes. Unless he's reading, but I would
say yes. He's probably got a lot to read
with that weapon to re familiarize it if I remember
correctly, because it was pretty specialized.
Ma'am, I'm in combat. I can't help you.
I know Demi's all horny and trying to get me to pet her a
lot. Yeah, Masashi was just on the
ground next to my chair. Just meowing and meowing and
meowing. You've been fed and you've had
snacks you don't need any more. Jimmy.
Mistress. I'm dying, Mistress.
Feed me my balls, only half full.
Damn, we've been pretty close. Could you roll me?
It's probably as long as you get anything more than A5 for your
strength or athletics, no? Yeah.
To continue to hold the grapple. I think it is it she she he's
trying to get out. He's trying to like, oh.
Against me. Yeah.
OK, yeah, I can do athletics or acrobatics.
I think it you have to do well to maintain it.
I thought we were the strength or something related seal, which
would be athletics. Let me check online.
And it's just like whenever you're setting the grapple in,
you could use one or the other. Yeah, I mean just the thing
would be the way he would try to hold it is by doing like a like
a full body wrap with his like limbs.
Oh, OK. To do it must succeed a
Strength. Athletics or.
Oh yeah, no, you're right. It's A to escape.
It's a strength. Let me roll that then.
Yeah, 'cause at this point, you're no longer trying to,
like, outmaneuver the other person.
You're just like. No, I'm just holding on negative
1/6. Just barely hold on by the
literal skin of your teeth as you bite into their their
shoulder. I grew up with my claws.
NUM NUM NUM. Then it would be Cat with Raw
Lundick. So and spell effects stack, can
I shrink? It double disadvantage.
Oh, is it a concentration spell? Yes, it is.
OK, never mind. I mean, if two people had it,
yeah. That would be cool so I can see
its face, right? Uh huh.
Can I cast Mage Hand, which isn't a concentration spell, to
appear inside its mouth and try to, like, choke it out from
inside its own mouth? It's already currently choking.
You can tell, but you can try that.
What should I roll? Our I don't think there isn't a
dice. You shroll a dice.
Yeah, Mage Hand. Well, that's not that's mandate.
Yeah, that's. I'm pretty sure though
you're you're able to do it pretty much without any like
thing stopping you. Basically in this particular
case because there you you're just like.
So I just I cast Mage Hand while still holding my concentration
for the reduced spell, and I just cast the Mage Hand inside
of its mouth. Pretty much.
I guess while it's in there can just start like playing with the
jubila. Oh no, that you feel it start
specifically rural. Does that group have a choking
fetish? No, Why would you ask?
Such a thing. I look at cat.
I make the connection of about so many hands on the Idunai.
And narrow my eyes. I think we're.
Talking about choking the chicken anyways.
I can't really do much else, but I do kind of get closer to the
creature and I try to get like make eye contact with it and
just but gawk really loudly in Intimidation 19.
Think it has any disadvantage on Wisdom.
Currently 15. So we it does like shrink a
little bit away from you fishing in its smaller size.
And that'll be it for my turn. All right, Rural, I will begin
punching it in the face. Get the table.
I'm wearing the table. I am the table.
All right, here's my knuckle
duster. It's at advantage, right 'cause
I'm Yep, 15 to hit. Does not technically hit, so
you're like wailing on it and you can feel just like the kite
in this material of their body under you, absorbing the blow
just. Like you bested.
All right. I'll maintain my grip.
That'll be it. I'm just holding on.
When they tries to make another grapple on the thing.
Is it still? Is it still gagging?
Oh yeah, it's it's third round of being choked.
Currently it has two more before it falls unconscious.
You can see its face starting to turn a little blue.
Red. What's the 9:00?
I got a nine for the my contested.
Right. Oh, no.
Oh, I just assumed you were holding.
I didn't think you'd have to contest it again for your
particular You're holding on to the grapple.
Oh, got it. OK.
Because you can choose to let go of it, it's whenever they can
test it that you'll have to roll again.
Oh, gotcha. Six.
Why did I roll that? Oh, that's a dune.
Oh. And we're going to roll a
strength that disadvantage, no? Yeah, for the grapple did not
this time A dune grabs a hold of is able to grab a hold of all
the legs so it stops moving even just even away from you as it's
drink was shrinking away from you cat and going to start
moving away. You could tell, but it hadn't
been turned, so it couldn't move.
But yeah, a DNA has the thing fully grappled in place, and it
is Frederick's turn. Right before you roll it, I
rolled see see if it would do all three and I don't know if
you use that one or. Sure, that 23, right?
Yeah, so it would be, it would be 17 for two handed.
OK, definitely hits. You can feel the kitten under
your second blow start to kind of crack, just as it again
losing even more of its breath. Is that all you're you got?
Yes. OK, well then it would be Cat's
turn. Again, this is the quickest
combat. It's it's turn.
I missed it because it was. It's going to try.
It's like eyes are starting to bulge out of its head,
especially after the that attack last attack, and it's going to
try valiantly to throw Rarl off and take the grot off.
So. While it's choking and having it
to you if you left like. So we're pretty close.
It's something is like we're taking this thing's ass, but I
don't know if we're out much longer.
Is the scope going to take because I need to go to bed?
You've got, you've got minutes. I promise all.
Right. So 17 against your strength
check there, Rao. Oh no, that's gonna be even at
disadvantage. Damn.
Yeah, the 17 and 22. 10 it's gonna get out.
It throws you off and it's still held by Adune though, 'cause
it's grappled twice and immediately sucks in air.
I lied. I'm sorry.
I promised. I promised you soon, you
bastard. No.
Because I was going to speed it up to, I was going to say the
beginning of next round. It was going to fall
unconscious, especially after being hit, because your two hits
would have knocked more air out of it, Frederick, and it would
have taken 5 rounds. So we would have been a top of
the order with four rounds and it would have fell unconscious
right then. So it just starts gasping for
air. And what is this?
I don't think that's yeah, I'd and most of these are not going
to be that effective at this point anyways.
So yeah, did a quick thing there and it's used its action to get
out of that. So it's it's gonna.
It's going to be Cat's turn. It still has the mage hand in
its mouth. Oh shit.
Never mind. Yeah, is that.
Right, I forgot. Yes, Mage Hand saves the day.
Yeah, I was going to say, wouldn't it just have like
disadvantage on everything because it's trying to avoid
throwing up? Or maybe it is just throwing up.
Maybe it's just accepting it and vomiting all over Rorleston.
I was. Going to say it's still choking.
It would be if vomiting on Frederick, but it is.
I don't think it can currently cause the the vomit's not more
than 5 lbs and it's currently holding it under.
Like if it's choking it, it's physically holding the vomit
inside. We're not bad guys.
We're the good guys. We're good guys.
We're just choke on your own vomit, We're.
Anti. Heroes.
So you're going to do do anything with your turn cat
before this thing passes out? No, I'm just going to keep using
the mage hand and holding my concentration for reduce.
And then just just. Yeah, just going to keep fucking
with it. All right.
So as as as you're holding that and you're just kind of like
willing it to hold the vomit down, you you see it's they're
already kind of bluish in the face.
So you see it turn like Violet and then fall over.
It's fine. Well, it's top half fall over
like it's because it's bottom half is still being held in
place by adune. Kind of like limp limply falls
back on its own own torso. It's like combat's over.
Get it, guys. I high five, everyone.
Want to leave another unconscious Dreider in your?
We have a breeding pair. That's all I'm hearing.
Or do you want to throw it into the Brig real quick before the
next session so you don't have to worry about it?
No, we'll. Throw it into the Brig.
I I think that might be a bad idea because we got the girl on
our side, but this one we just beat, we just beat this head out
of. That's true.
We needed a second Brig. Who else is in here?
Dune says that, well, there's at least two other rooms, and one
of the rooms has a has a bath chamber in it.
The one without the bath chamber.
OK, that's. This one's.
Back here? Yep.
It was Zeph's room. I'm gonna cast floating disc
underneath of it to try to prop it up.
I'll drop my concentration, yeah.
I was gonna say when you do that, it sizes back up to its
normal size and you pass the floating disc under it.
Yep. And then I just walk into the
room and the disc will follow me.
You do gotta catch them all. Gotta catch them all.
And yeah, a Dune 8 probably realizes already what's going on
and moves the door handle off of the door and closes it up and
put some bars on it. Yep.
And please secure the prisoner. Oh Yep.
And then locks it down with the with the wooden cuffs around all
of its arms and legs. Can we leave it a little meat
paste and a little water and call it a night?
I think so, guys. We should definitely be contract
killers. We're really good at this.
Hopefully they'll enjoy being part of the crew, yeah?
Got to catch up them all. These guys won't, but their kids
will be indoctrinated. So we're still.
On the 4th. One cult so that we can start
our own cult. I tap you on the forehead.
Yes, that's called capitalism. And we're it's not stealing
them. It's how do you say acquiring
their talents? Liberating.
Yeah, we're the good guys.
The good guys. Freedom.
I know. I just hear that.
And all I think is democracy for democracy.
Oh shit, that's definitely interesting.
Session. Y'all.
I mean talking a lot of choking. Yeah, they went from just
hanging out to open portal. Oh God, Grab begin beating.
Yeah. All right.
Oh, I'll talk to you maybe next week.
I don't know. I'll see my schedule.
We'll be here hopefully. Yep.
Bye. Have a good night.
Having you good night. Good night.
Were you planning on making it out here for Eurythmic?
I couldn't remember. Say that again.
A grand and wonderful thank you for those who took the time and
made it here to the end of the episode where I know sometimes
we are long winded and others we are just dead silent.
Ah, don't know what to tell you. This is RAW here folks.
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