Hello fair listener, welcome and thank you for following our
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Fair warnings. Sometimes we are not safe for
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Journey forth at your own risk. Now let's dive right back into
Tara through the campaign. Allelopolis, you dirty Rascal.
Hail to thee. Anyways, yes, Grand Am is going.
Since we have some time before anything happens.
Grand Am is going to find a plant he is particularly fond
of, or he's going to grow one with Druid craft, or he's going
to find a mushroom to something. And he's going to begin what he
always does when he finds himself in a new place, and
that's establish a new population of bullshit that will
become somebody else's problem later down the road.
With that, the hand feet. OK, I'm.
Sorry, I'm sorry. It's right you do your intro.
I'm so sorry. No, you're good.
You're good if you wanted to keep if you had something else
before. I'm so fucking out of it today.
I'm sorry you do your thing, but he is going to cast awaken on
what is preferably some sort of intoxicant plant.
Oh yeah, like a living weed plant.
Hey bro. And then what he's going to be
doing for the next 8 hours. Just a giant bellowing cloaks
fog cloud behind the Adune as you're smoking.
Or something. True, our backup character is a
mushroom druid that was awakened by Grand Am, so it's going to be
great. With that, the Hand of Fate
tosses. The dice rolls, spins, turns.
The campaign starts and ends, leaving memories that become
stories. Stories flew out into the
Infinite sea, painting it with legends.
Legends wash up on the shores throughout the Infinite Sea,
fading to myths until myths are forgotten.
And again, the Hand of Fate tosses the dice rolls, spins,
turns. Hitherto we left our adventure
as known as the Rum Rollers in Socrates after delivering some
dragon breath, rescuing a wizard formerly known as Matt Corpse
and hopefully soon reuniting it with its soul.
Making many deals across the city to help protect it from the
impending horde from the PNC and vanquishing the leaders.
And then immediately after the horde that was sieging the city.
Today we'll be making a side stop at the Infinite Tower.
But before then hero, you're visited by somebody in your
dreams, it sounds like. Yeah.
So KIRO, how do you, how do you normally like turn down and like
go to sleep at night? Like what's your process?
KIRO slowly when he falls to sleep, he falls asleep in a
seated position back against the wall, and then slowly kind of
feels like he unanchors his body and just kind of lets himself
drift, thinking of all the things that all his duties that
are still to be done and just lets himself release from just
the moment. As your body comfortably drifts
into the void that you're so familiar with your mind on your
duties, your responsibilities, plans, things that you need to
accomplish, they begin to drift backwards.
First kind of touching touching on key key moments in your life,
if you have any that you would like to describe.
You would be in the vantage point of yourself at the age it
happened. These may be key moments such as
like when when you established your strong sense of honor, when
you established who you are as a person, when you established
your distaste for the undead, the situation around it, that
kind of thing, as you kind of like are drifting through what
feels like a dream of shifting memories, almost like pages
being turned. So KIRO goes back to the moment
and anyone that is hijacking into the dream at the moment, I
mean. That's perfectly up.
To Heroes, Heroes Mindscape. It always opens on the on the
same point, the bridge, the Obsidian bridge that leads to
his father's judgement Hall. When you're there, when he's
there, he sees the translucent koi spirits that swim inside the
the waters that run through the through the underworld.
He sees the Tory shrine that, you know, is at the end of the
bridge where he crosses over and seats the halls.
The, you know, the grass is not grass.
It's just, you know, black sand that's nicely raked into
different patterns along the the house and where he has spent
most of his time. And from there, his dream is to
enter his father's hall. So it's a hall of judgement, and
that is where his most pivotal moments ever took place is
because in this hall, he took the sacred oath of being a
ferryman and to one day become in charge with, you know,
keeping the dead dead, preserving all life and, you
know, being the safeguard, the ferryman to the, you know,
spirits that need to, you know, peacefully move on or help save
those that couldn't, cannot. And in his father's hall, you
see beautiful tapestries, scrolls unending along the
walls. You see other Dragons to the
left and to the right, all hustling and bustling, bringing
scrolls. And there's a line procession
that comes in and out the door of spirits that are judged by,
in his greatest memory, his father's, who's coiled in a
seated position behind the diocese, passing judgement.
And that's where he spends his happy place.
That is his happiest moment. While you're sitting there
basking in your your father's kind of righteous glow, you see
just out of the corner of your eye what appears to be
individuals, individual shapes of blackness, and the edges fuzz
and blur. And when you look, you can bear
you. You almost can't catch their
glimpse, and they're whispering to each other about you.
And then suddenly your vision cracks.
The screen splits as if shattered glass, and two scenes
split from that point. One the memories you know and
cherish where your father was a righteous man, and another where
another Dragonborn pushes his way past the line and shouts in
accusation at your father for being corrupt for underhanded
bribes. And there's evidence presented.
And as this evidence is presented, out of the corner of
your eye you see these shadow shapes writing things in the
air. And as they write them, they
become true in this altered perception, this altered
reality. And then it fast forwards from
that memory to another to another to another to another.
But the more and more memories you go through of your life, you
see that one. The one you remember continues
and the other diverges further and further away until the two
are so different that you can't even recognize the man on the
left from the man on the right. The one on the right was pushed
in every scenario to the wrong choice, given no options, all by
the work of these shadowy figures in the corner, until
eventually the moment where you are both plucked from reality
and they appear in both and pull you both away and it shifts to a
scene at a Coliseum. But you're now not you.
You are him, this other you. You feel his feelings, you have
his memories justified anger that you were forced to do such
terrible things and you had no choice.
It felt like fate pushed you to do terrible things.
And you are in the sands of the Coliseum, and all around you,
you are surrounded by billions, or millions maybe, of crowd
goers who all appear similar to the three or the group of
individuals that were on the edge of your memories.
Except instead of whispering, it's now crowded cheers of
exaltation. The gates across from you
opened, and it's your other self, the real you.
But you don't have his perspective.
And you close in on each other and you pull your weapon out
with such hatred for this version of you who is allowed to
choose the right thing. You enter into combat and
unfortunately because he was better trained, he had the right
tools. You feel with several swift
strikes the sword cut through you and you experience death
before it fades to black and then fades back in very slowly
to a deep dark room under a building, in the room an iron
cage, and in the cage a shadowed individual chained by the neck
to the ground. And then it switches back to an
ideal version of that room. It's a children's bedroom.
There's drawings on the wall, very clearly a happy place,
before it fuzzes back and you hear screaming and rage fills
you before you hear a voice whisper in the back of your
mind. Not all of us were given a
choice. Not all of us got to live such
pampered lives. Think on this.
You're being controlled. And then your dreams fade back
into obscurity as you rest the remainder of the time in
darkness. That's the dream.
Nice. Grand am on the side with a big
Slurpee. Is there a way to like role to
perceive him in my mind? I don't care.
I'm probably. So what was it that you cast?
What was it that you cast again? This it's called Dream.
Yeah, yeah. No, I meant Grand Am.
Yeah. What was it called again?
This. This Paleo.
Yeah, it's read mind, not telepathy.
Sorry. Oh, it's the read minds.
Whatever it's. Funny, the other thing of
popcorn do. He he's got the telepathic trait
which gives him the ability of cats to detect thoughts.
Heck, thoughts, that's what? You're OK?
Yeah. Is that at will or how many
times? Like once a number of times he
will try to score. Nice.
Oh no, no, no telepathic. Yeah, I get the cast at Like
where is it? I can speak telepathically to
any creed within 60 feet and can cast a detect thought spell
requiring no spell slot or components.
And you must finish the longest before I can do it again.
Wants a long rest, but. Long enough for you to sit and
watch someone's memories before you go to bed.
Like a soap opera. You're just getting to your
teens. So awkward.
I think you would need to make a Wisdom saving throw based off of
what I'm reading then to about that particular spell Bureau, if
that's what you're trying to do. Just for your side of things I'm
guessing. Yeah, I'm trying to make him
tired. He's got a big day ahead and I
need him. Not at a sharpest.
Can't believe you're doing this to him before the tower.
That's exactly why I'm doing it to him.
No, like the infinite tower. Oh, that's true.
That wasn't my intention, but I guess I can just deliver a
message the first time 'cause that's what I did with the
Admiral is I didn't, I didn't keep her up.
I just walked in, said hi and then left.
So I will let you have your rest because I did say that you
return to darkness when you sleep.
So. Yes, Yeah.
No, I didn't get. I mean, I just got that last bit
from you, Matt. I had the option to make you
role to be exhausted, but I'm not going to do that.
OK. I'm just trying to get
information. You're not yet an anime.
I mean from curious perspective right now he would be doing you
a great service in his heart. And from Franklin's perspective,
if you came within 5 feet of them, he'd put you down like a
rabid dog. Or sick your dog.
Or sick. Yeah, my character specifically
built to not die. I Will Survive.
And damn, no Sunbeam now, so we'll see how that goes.
Coming in with finger guns are glowing.
I think, you know, just saying we didn't really role play
anything out there necessarily, but before the session we were
talking, you know, obviously going to the tower which you
guys are talking about. So you would pop be popping a
crystal before sleep as well. So that dream transpired just
before you're appearing into the infinite tower.
I want to heal. And damn.
Appears in the Infinite Tower with his Big Gulp from the
dream. Actually, honestly, you might.
Would I show up there early then since they're doing that for
like the 1st 20 minutes? Like hey, I'm waiting for some
friends party of three. I don't think so because time is
relative. And like, I don't know about
you, but if you've ever had one of those dreams that you like
you wake up from after the fact and like, wow, that was, it was
like an entire lifetime. You look back at the clock after
you've had the dream and you're like, oh, it's only like 5
minutes. That's true man, I'm trying to
think if there's anything I want a quick.
Drop off drop off. Yeah, we have that shared space
now. You could drop something off for
me, but I don't have anything currently.
Well, regardless, the all three of you appear in front of the
nice mahogany desk of Ishmael and he greets those who have
been here before and asks those who haven't their name, which I
believe we determined. KIRO, you have not been to the
tower yet. No, I have not.
So what is your name there? I think we've got Raul, if I'm
not mistaken, and Grand AM for my books and he's looking down
at a book while he's speaking. He didn't even really look up at
you guys as he's writing. Hero just kind of looks around,
gets a lay of the area. Am I dreaming?
I must be dreaming. I look so.
He he, he looks, he he probably looks over, sees Grand am.
Never mind. I'm having a good nightmare.
And who are you? Well, I'm Ishmael, and this is
my infinite tower, he says, finally looking up and sitting
back in his chair and spreading his arms.
I'm I would assume your friends would have told you of me.
Never really came up in conversation.
Well, that's odd. Picking my nose.
What? Well, welcome I guess, and you
have stumbled upon a trail of sorts, if not entertainment to
pass the time, and entertainment for yourselves as much as myself
as they may. They must not have told you you
can't die here. You will just reappear in your
body. But depending upon how far you
can make it in the tower, you will get a sizable reward.
This place is pretty dope. You go up the floors of the
tower and then you get the prize.
So what I'm hearing is you like to play God and watch people
die. He puts his hand down.
God, he he, he random whispers said to you at the same time
that he smiles, makes a fist and then rest his chin on it and he
goes. I don't like to play God little.
I am a God. Stuck here though, so you're not
entirely wrong. And he hates the other ones.
What he said? Ishmael said this.
Anyways, I'm going to refill my cup and I'm going to walk over
to the fountain. KIRO started to look at you.
All things die, even gods, so be careful looking down on people
because my father and my God will welcome you.
He's currently looking up at you because you're standing,
standing up. There aren't any seats and he's
sit seated behind the desk and he goes, I don't think I'm
looking down on anyone. I'm I'm rather trapped here like
your friend was saying. It's more of just I have nothing
else to do with my time. What was it all sold once?
You should get a hobby. This is it.
I am providing adventurers with entertainment, entertaining
myself along the way, and hopefully giving them enough
power to fuck over the gods as they will.
Here all we get free stuff. Stop being a stick in the mud
and let's go. I'm splashing in the water with
him. This is fine you.
Guys are just kind of. Each conference the bridge of
his nose. My God, please let this be a
terrible nightmare. Terrible nightmare.
Nose. Well, I'm going to play.
My name is Lieutenant Kenpachi KIRO.
Welcome. Is that a soul leader reference
or Bleach reference? I finally somebody finally
caught it. Thank you man, God.
It did took until you said the whole name.
Welcome world. That I didn't make is a fucking
anime and or. Children's.
Power Rangers reference. Well, welcome, lieutenants, it
is good to have you. Hopefully you can find some
entertainment here, He he says as he's writing your name in his
book. The words that were in the dream
kind of echo in your head. Yeah, Kero's like half part
like, am I still in that dream? Am I where?
What's going on? Like he is, he is on edge, very
much so right now. And now we've grown in that it's
like, oh, a good sterling thought, you know, look there,
there, there is rural. OK, OK.
And then and now there's Grand Am.
Fuck. Oh no.
It's like trouble. I'm a sexy.
Rat. Oh yeah, I could have awoken
her. Yeah, you should have woken her.
You can write Connor if you want.
If you want your sexy rat, I'm not going to stop you.
No. No, we encourage you.
We encourage you. She's going to become, well,
maybe. Your wife.
No, my damn is asexual as hell. He kind of went through the
blender of the cosmos. Grand damn barely knows what sex
is. Let's.
Oh, you and you and Ezra will get along so well.
Wait, not anymore. Nevermind.
Anyway. I'm going to ignore all of that
conversation, Ishimel says and just goes.
You can proceed behind me and either go up or down in the
tower. It'll probably get you to the
same place though. Really.
Grand Am will then lean and like theater and begin to like,
stumble, walk towards this one. Oh.
Oh no. Do you guys actually go down and
up then the both of you? Graydon Ham's not paying
attention. He's going down.
Rural looks in both directions. He still.
Wanted to put his name spot. It'll be all right.
I look at look at the guy, what do we do?
What do we do? They went in different
directions. Honestly, she.
Probably tell them not to do that in the future.
Yeah, this is. Guys aren't the brightest.
This has never happened before. Fight and conquer.
Well, I guess. A flow.
We found a wrinkle in the matrix, a flaw in this.
Is there a third direction? Where is your house?
I'm not revealing that, I'm sorry.
I will tell you, though, that it'll probably work itself out,
whichever which way they go. Probably.
For God, you sound really unsure about a lot of stuff you know.
Hey you create a infinite something and then tell me how
it goes. I would.
It would be an infinite ball of yarn and it would be great.
That would be pretty great. You think too big, you know.
You got. To start with small infinite
bangs and work your way up to infinite tower.
He leans all the way back. You're so impatient, you know
you live forever, but like you want it now.
He leans all the way back in his chair, puts his hands on his
heads, and then take. Take takes one of them and pulls
open a drawer with a amber liquid that he in a in a glass
and he pours himself one. Yeah, yeah.
Until then, I'll just keep drinking.
What is it? A whiskey Baja, the water of
life. Oh, is that what's in the water
over there? Oh no, no, that's just healing
water elixir that I came up with to replenish those that have
visit the tower so that they get a full use of it.
Grand Dam has a big gulp for that.
Shit, how do you get? Stuff.
Did you get stuff delivered here?
Like you're trapped here, right? But like, how do you get all
this shit? Like what happens if you want a
Starbucks? Then I spend some time thinking
about a star bucks. I'm assuming some sort of astral
deer, but I don't want one of those so I'm not going to do
that. You could make a killing off of
bottling and selling this water. Have you ever considered
corporate and becoming your corporation?
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the rest of the gods would strike me
down. I don't think I want to do that.
What if I? Told you that I have an
excellent business option for you.
Instead of you doing it, I'll do it.
A. Limited.
Liability company, I just meant thank you.
He raises an eyebrow and goes go on.
Here's the thing, you don't want your shit to be on the line if
your business opportunities don't work out, right?
That's why you make a limited liability corporation because
corporations are people. And then you put all that stress
and blame on this corporation, which is a technically a person.
And then when the part, the, the, you know that that comes
collected for their soul or like money or whatever, I won't be
able to collect it from you because it's not your deal, it's
the corporations. OK, so you're suggesting that
you make some sort of alteration that I can't be traced to me
these things and otherwise well to?
Me, I had an an extra special ingredient, right?
This is. This is and then we resell it.
This is. It's not your.
Thing. It's my thing.
It's a different thing. Your thing's just an ingredient.
I would be I would be willing to do business honestly for a
certain types of items because I can't create them myself.
Here's something you need. I sit down.
One of which is chocolate. I'm not sure if you're familiar
with it, but I can't make that myself.
Here you. Can't make chocolate yourself?
Oh my God, I have a magic ship that can create chocolate.
So win the win my friend. Well, whatever you can do.
I mean, I can provide the first shipment of this elixir after.
Do I get the first down payment of chocolate or, you know, I'll
have it ready for when I get some.
I would be. I would definitely be willing to
trade a barrel of a barrel of the elixir for a pound of
chocolate. Fuck yeah.
I write that down real quick with some basic terms and
conditions and some liability protection things for me.
And then I also add a clause in at the end that there shall be
no unions. And then I sign mine.
I flip it over and tell them I will be able to come back pretty
soon with everything that you need.
We're just trying to stomp out an undead army real quick, and
then we'll get that cash flowing.
All right, look around. Hopefully that gave those two
enough time to figure out what the fuck they're doing.
I close my eyes and I spin around real fast and I go
whichever direction I I end up on.
So I'm going to I'm going to flip a coin.
That fits this side. Hi, Emily.
Yes, hello. Maybe she pops in right before I
go. I can't participate tonight.
I'm just lurking. I have to work late for a
deadline. That's fine.
Don't mind if I do cheer ya. I'm keynoting elevations right
now. I've.
Determined that the Big Gulp is actually a mop bucket, Grand Am
found they stuck a straw. And it's got those wheels on the
bottom bottom, so you can just wheel it around.
So even funnier now because you've somehow been, no, that's
just my brain working. But maybe you've somehow managed
to get the straw to be part of the mop that's in the bucket.
And it just looks like you're pushing a mop in a bucket
around. But every now and again, you
lean up against it and just. Just take a big ol sip.
So. I have rolled tails so I'm going
down. OK also don't forget to take 3
astral diamonds from your inventory which I believe RARL
is the one that has them. No, I will do so.
So. How much those things are worth?
You go down with KIRO and we'll start with that.
Actually, I had kind of come up with this explanation.
Let me tell you smooth things over.
So you guys go both go down grand am.
You go up somehow dragging the mop bucket up the stairs just
and as you guys are walking down and grand am is walking up,
there's a certain point where it there's almost it.
It's almost imperceptible in that you as you're walking in
that direction, you notice more around you.
You get kind of this motion sick feeling as your perception and
the things around you seem to shift at and you start walking
in opposite directions. So as I don't know that.
Kind of like grand it would stop and then begin to walk
backwards. And as you walk backwards, you
probably bump into KIRO who is leading the way.
Place is no fun. It's fine.
It's like that.
Name where I need to. Pass upon my one door.
Who wants things to be Euclidian anyways?
OK, fine. And somehow you guys are then
ended up walking down into a room that appears to, oh, let me
move this. Let me see if I can focus
everyone here. That way you can see where we're
at. But as you walk down, or now
walking all walking down the stairs, you walk into a room
that seems to be lined out with a checkered square board the
size of creatures, which also seem to be situated in the room
in an orderly fashion across from each other, not moving.
And there are two couches on either side of the room, 1 blue
or one purple and one red. And situated on the board, it
kind of looks like a bit more of a demonic team versus an angelic
team. At the bottom of the stairs is
you guys reach it, though there is a enormous statuesque
creature that holds two large cleavers and is easily 20 feet
tall. That would lead to the next
room. Here a look at the situation.
So either we brute force through him or we solve the puzzle
there. Let's give the puzzle a chance
before we draw blades. So I guess, I guess I guess roll
to figure out what I'm looking at.
Besides the board and the couches, on the couches, you
realize as you're kind of taking in the scene a little bit more,
are a a skull on each couch, one red, one purple.
And they're kind of laughing at each other and heckling each
other back and forth, just saying pretty much nonsense,
some of which is even in probably language that you guys
don't understand. I know.
Most of which are curses at each other.
For what languages you do understand?
It's like you asshole. Disappointing.
Hmm, well let's see, Carol will probably go to the one closest
to him. So the this guy, Excuse me, I
hate to interrupt your game. We, we haven't started yet.
We've just been beginning. We are waiting for some more
pieces. He kind of turns to you.
Are you interested? Is this the only way I can leave
this floor? His head kind of tilts to the
side and goes. I don't know what you're talking
about, but probably. If if he's trying to lie, I have
a passive insight of 16 just if if he's lying or attempting to
lie. You can tell that he's he that
he's not lying, but he that he's he's got an A sense of
confusion. What you mean by get to the next
floor? He's just a slave.
Carol Monologues. Granddam yells as he what
approaches the red couch. Red is cooler.
Red. He's in nice color.
So how do we play the game? Hero's asking the purple couch
I'm guessing and he goes. Well it's simple.
You choose either one of one of the two couches to sit on, and
in that case, which pieces are to move for that team?
The losing team dies. But we can't really die here.
Just means we don't go on. Does that mean we have to play
against each other? We should be on the same team.
There is no rule against being on the same team.
Can we be on both teams? You can only be as one, as an
individual, be on one or the other team.
OK, so there are rules. What is the difference between
the team's followers? Is it just color favoritism?
I didn't. I didn't understand that
question. Me either.
Is there any difference between you and that guy?
Oh, of course, fucking Steve's a wanker.
Well, he's noticed he's a bonehead and this guy's a
numbskull. Oh that's a good one.
Does that offend you? Are we not being PC I.
Really don't know what that means.
I don't think there. Grand AM begrudgingly moves to
sit on the couch next to KIRO. OK, what is rural?
Pick the couch. Yeah, KIRO is over at the Purple
couch. I pick up, can I pick up the
other head? Other pick there's. 2 heads,
right? Yeah, there are two heads, so.
I pick one up from the other team and put it on our couch
with us. Are we all on the same team?
They're both flaming skulls like they're they're they're like
this got this greenish, greenish flame that is coming off of
them. Or you're willing to you, you,
you, you're, you're. I take out.
Especially able you certainly may able to try.
I take out the shield and I try to scoop it like a scooping
emotion on to the shield like a big spoon.
What is the shield? It is a quote shield of armour
common. Just the shield.
Like iron, right? Or steel, I guess.
I think most Shields are like wood and iron rebar.
And OK doesn't it doesn't say what it's made out of.
It says armor. Common shield.
Shields require the action to dawn or doff.
You gain armor benefit only if you have training with it
shield. Might be able to delete that
from your inventory because as you try to scoop it up it kind
of looks like the flames eat away at it like it were acid
through whatever material it was.
There's a really strong skull. You're pretty hard headed.
Look at, look at Grand Am. One side must die.
OK, Kira has an idea. He likes his side.
Must die. That's very concerning.
I'll go sit down on the couch for the others.
Why does one side have to die? It's like you're being pitted
against each other. And he uses his sword that's on
fire to pick up the skull that's on the couch he's at.
Oh, you're going to put it on the other side?
So we killed them. No, I think, I think he's trying
to do this. I think he's trying to do the
same thing that you did bro. Is he hotter than Hellfire?
That's I was going to ask what your sword is made of.
You're a. Hellfire Sword Jesus.
The fire is Hellfire. OK, so the fire is Hellfire that
you've summoned I'm going to need.
Hell thing to be such a strong weapon, just stick it on the end
of a chain and just whip it. Around, I'm going to need a
sleight of hand. Probably sleight of hand.
That's gonna be fun. Oh, snap.
OK, 16. Nice.
You're able to get under the skull and it seems like the two
flames have started battling each other almost on like a
micro level so that there is some force and resistance
without burning through your sword or the OR the skull.
And as you lift the skull up off of the couch, you see it just
like shake its own head back and forth and roll back to the couch
like, oy, we've got to finish this.
Otherwise, we don't know who the best is.
Oh don't worry, we will find out who the best is.
I just need to move you with your friend on that couch so
that me and my friends can be on this couch and so that you and
your friend can find out if you're better than my friends.
Oh, so you want to US against you guys?
I see it. Would be it would be unfair if
you could not play with your friend and not not play with
mine. Well, what is this game?
In that case, he just kind of like flares up and then it kind
of looks like and sounds like for a second like a wait all the
way over to the other side of the room.
Hopefully shut. With little bursts of flame
flying out behind him. Roarlson, we have a seat for you
now. Thanks.
I'll sit down. Nice.
So who goes first? Well, purple does, and you
control the angels. Has one, has one.
Should I think my opening move will be to move?
Oh God, I forget. I forget how I know.
I know they're numbered across and they're lettered down, but I
can't remember if the letters go up or down.
Jacob remind me when? When looking at a chess board,
does the alphabet go from top to bottom or bottom to top?
I never, I have never once played a game of chess in which
we use the grid system I. Don't really I'm going to say
that it's from top to bottom and then numbers go left to right.
I'm. Going to make this easy.
Make this easy on you. You guys should have full
control of those tokens over there.
Let me know. I don't see anything I.
Don't. Oh, really?
What do you mean you don't like? There's nothing.
I keep seeing you guys like paying, but it's darkness.
Oh well, let me fix that. Oh well, I can move one.
I got access to one of them. I'm not the one I want.
How about now? Yeah, yeah.
So I'm assuming the angels are white.
OK. So that means that's the Queen,
OK? Yeah, you could.
I know. Which one?
I know which one I want to touch but.
You could also. Ping.
Which one do you think is the case?
That you want to move and then ping to the spot that you want
to move. OK, so I I want to move.
I don't want to take that guy right there and.
No. No, not that guy.
Not that guy. Hold on.
This guy right here and I want to move him here, OK?
With that, that's a move, and then one of the sets of
gibbering mouthers move forward from the other side, just with a
cackling in old. Rules.
To the ring. Oh, do you not know this game?
We will take this one and move him here.
His grand AM has no goddamn idea.
I was born to lead, not to. Read Well this is the game of
Kings, so you should know. Me and I'm a king.
I'm a king. Sorry.
I'm a king. Are we, are we doing things in
God forgive me y'all. I'm so sorry about this.
God forgive. Grand Dam's going to cast Wall
of Fire straight down the line of gibbering my other pieces.
OK. Jesus.
With that, then it would be initiative if that's that is
truly what you're doing. Let's hit that initiative roll.
All right, all right here. How about?
I say I'm not gonna, you know, I'm not gonna dictate what
somebody does. So.
No. If this ruins the fun for
anybody, I will take his back. 15 I don't think so.
I think all right, I think I think you're you're you're the
only one being interested in the game right this second.
I love. It yeah my brain is not in chess
mode and brain damn doesn't know what chess is.
Yeah oh shit, I gotta edit these.
He wishes to play test his new class before he wakes up, when
he still has a chance to change it.
Understandable, I just have to go through.
I still had the campaign character selected.
Bless you, I'm. Sorry.
Initiative is only +2. That feels wrong.
It's 'cause our Dicks, my guy, it's our Dicks.
Is it just Dicks? Dicks.
You're right, it's just Dicks, OK?
Tall it is. Unless you have alert or the
yeah the ring of yeah the ring that also gives you a bonus.
I think there's. A cloak too.
I'm seeing a six from Grand am I?
Don't think there's an initiative cloak.
I think there is. I would have had it by now,
yeah. Hold on, let me see here.
There's class options that let you use two modifiers for
initiative, which I have. Oh, right, with that, the board
itself starts to scatter if you want to roll the damage for that
wall of fire, I think. All right.
Do they need to make a save? What was it?
Every but thing like all of those creatures except for the
one that's like right here, this guy right here.
Yeah. The one that moved forward is
going to take is going to make a deck save.
Decks. Oh yeah, that they're not going
to do, so good on that, I don't think.
Oh well, I stand corrected 16 with a -, 1 so it is 16 still,
but it was 17 total. And S at a fifth level, so 16.
My DC is 18. OK.
Damn. 22 damage.
OK, there's a few creatures before you Raro, but you will be
up after this. This was just kind of the
surprise round for Yep. Surprise, my initiative is so
low. It's not that low.
It's lower than it should be. I have AI have alert and I have
a + 5 DAX and a + 5 charisma. I should have a trait that adds
my charisma. Then only things on the back row
we're also making the save. Add your Charisma modifier to
your initiative roles. So that should be plus 5 plus my
plus 5 from my Dax plus my plus 5 from my alert feet.
So. Oh, that's why I was fucking.
With stuff. I deleted my own so we didn't
just continue. I'll figure it out later.
Oh yeah, yeah, Matt, when we rolled initiative because of how
the the ability states, when I roll initiative, I assume a
stance because of a stance master and my reserved stance is
the Chimera. So everything on the back row is
slowly going to be making their saves.
We've got a 14, which sounded like it didn't make it, although
that one is immune to that and the.
Devil looks like he would be. Unless you're from Georgia.
I'm pretty sure they're immune to fire too.
Not they're in a bond. 19 I believe saves right, so only
half at 11 right which? One's saved.
I believe this one is in the Bishop.
The DC is 18. So if we got half, then yeah, I
got half. OK, It was like there's there's
several skeletons on the other side trying to decide how to.
That's a natural one for this guy.
Came this is a Pathfinder? Because then it'd be 44 damage,
so just life. We'll still call it 44.
Whatever you want to do it boss, since you're a.
Game there's there's a lot of creatures here I'm clearing the
battlefield to make my life easier Think that's all of them
though Those guys back No, there's somebody missing.
I got to scroll up Oh here we go this one Nope 22 and these guys
still genie 16 so Nope 2022 all right, I believe that is all of
the creatures finally that had to make that safe.
Who moves first, though? Is the Queen from the other
side? Who?
Oh. That's better.
OK, so there's that. A lot of stats I got to keep
going. 91015202530 who moves off of the board walks directly
towards you guys. Oh wait, that's not right.
There we go and stares at you with all of her snake haired
beauty. Close my eyes.
I don't know if you'd gotten a chance in that short amount of
time, especially because she rolled A20 on her initiative,
which is just. Like anything for being alert
and not being able to be surprised during the surprise
round. OK, it does say here, unless
surprised, a creature can avert their eyes to avoid the saving
throw at the start of its turn. If the creature does so, it
can't see the Medusa until the start.
Yeah. So you if you avert your eyes,
you, you can't see what it's doing, basically.
I like going and goes. Nope.
Yeah. So you guys cannot see the board
I would guess either because she's basically standing in that
direction. Which you would have to look in
that direction to see that side of the board.
Right. But then so these guys move.
Which? We'll call them them.
OK, wait, am I within that range?
Oh jeez, so that's going to be this guy, one
of the skeletons. So it if it moves through the
wall wall, it has to take damage right too OK.
It's currently inside of the roll, so it has to roll again
the decks there's. No roll I just it just takes
damage this time. Oh, OK, go ahead and roll.
Where the fuck? What does it spell?
Make him toasty. Are you also you guys are both
also averting your eyes I'm guessing, right?
Hero, as soon as that came into prevalence, made a mental note
of where he wants to go and closed his eyes.
OK, And the only other thing I have of concern is 7 damage.
Erb. OK, is Wall of fire
concentration. Yes, you.
If you're reverting your gaze, you may have to roll I.
Don't believe that's how concentration works?
Nope, only one damage is taken weirdly enough.
I know you'd think it like anything that would require like
the line of sight action would actually like if you shut eyes,
but it doesn't. Weirdly enough, Lisa's rules are
written. Oh yeah, yeah, I get it.
OK. Next guy, he can't do anything.
Then it would technically be your guys's king who is reaching
out to you guys mentally you can feel for command and obviously
cannot move on the board. So it it's command is very weak.
I. Move forward, backwards and
sideways. You know the fight.
Oh, they still got to play by the rules.
The other guys get to play, get the get the play around.
OK, gotcha. These guys are angels.
They have to follow the rules. Yep.
The other. Ones don't let's see he can all
and it's it's right now just the king reaching out so.
Yep, yeah, it I'm, I'm going based off of like the turn order
where they rolled their initiative.
And the king is an the King's an Angel, right?
That I can see. All right.
And there were the 2. I always forget what the
diagonal pieces are called. Bishops.
I thought that was the the straight line pieces.
No, those are rooks. Rooks.
OK, I get those too confused then.
Yeah, so the bishops. Because the bishops have the
have the funny hats. That's right, the bishops are up
next then, and they usually have the diagrams near.
The top. That's a good way to remember.
Well, I know which which ones do what, I just don't always
remember their names. The Pope hat yeah about say
yeah, the it's. Color the hat, the holier the
man. It depends on the the celestial
type. Oh yeah.
If there is no command sent to the king, he does not move or
react. I'm trying to.
I'm trying to remember the kit of an Angel.
I think they can, God. Let's see, do.
I got. This is the stat block that I'm
working. Off of Angel, OK.
Let's see, who are we looking at here?
Don't you want to help stranded dogs in the AH?
There. We go, this dog might end up in
hell and do terrible things. This is the bishops that are up
next. OK, for the king, I would say
it. Doesn't have any valid moves.
He he does, he does. There's nothing right now, so
his command will be to move towards us.
It must recommend or he can. He has no valid moves.
He does just nothing currently. The the the king can't move.
He is boxed in. Oh, yeah, let's see here.
Well, I mean, he's got it. He's got his order that's going
to be going out. So that's we're fine there
within the order. How far away from him right now?
Give me a second. We are within.
Yeah. So we're within his aura, guys.
So everybody would get who started their turn at the
beginning, 15 temporary hit points.
And you cannot be charmed or frightened under his while he's
on the field. So.
And anybody who fails that gets a level of exhaustion.
So whenever or if any of the bad guys reach into our area, they
would have that effect going to them.
All right, so you said the bishops are next.
All right, so bishops, Bishop, Bishop, Bishop, Bishop.
Have none of no valid moves either, because no pawns have
moved. Hold on, let me just Bishop.
Bishop. It's the Angel, it's these guys.
Yeah. Wait, are they the same step
block as the king? No, I sent a second one.
OK, mine was a king. At least I tried to.
Yeah, no, no, you said the same link, same, same link twice.
Oh my bad. Let me go to come on, work with
me here. Never anarchy.
This is theirs. All right, here we go.
I was working off limited time, don't judge me.
That was. Oh no, you're good, you're good.
All right, So no, can't work anything with these guys right
now, but all right, so. I thought they looked cool.
Yeah, no, he can't move right. Bishops can't do anything right
now, only because their village can't do anything.
But I can't. Oh, that'll work.
Susan. Wait.
Is it both bishops or is it just one Bishop right now?
It is both bishops. OK, I'm going to tell both.
I'm going to tell both bishops to wait for the creatures in
front of them to move, and then they will move in the most
direct fighting pattern. OK.
All right, who's next? Rural.
Go roar. Go roar.
Go, go, roar. Do.
I feel like I can get up off of the couch.
Yeah, absolutely. OK, boy, one team must die.
I look over at the skulls across the room.
Putting my hand up to the side of my face to shield myself from
looking at the Medusa. They're bodily, I think, to
throw. Then I will cast hex on one of
the skulls, the one that I tried to pick up with my with my with
my shield. So once per short rest is a
bonus action. I can choose a creature, curse
it for a minute. I get a + 5 to +5 bonus to
damage, roles and score critical hit on a roll of 19 or 20.
OK, it was just hex you say? Hex is the bonus action that I
cast on this thing and then I wish I had advantage.
Like I can get advantage on this thing.
I will run over there and begin pummeling it.
One must die. Do not go over the the chess
board. Oh, you go all the way.
No, I I believe you. You go all the way around.
Those were all easy peasy. Yeah.
Yeah, we're all get that. Speed.
I skidder over there and I will take two melee attacks against
this creature with an owl's knuckle dusters.
I'm not an advantage right, But I think I get I don't I don't
get sneak attack either because it's next to an ally.
OK. So you. 15 to hit for the first
one. Nope.
Damn, Natty 20, let's go. That'll hit and as it, as the
first one kind of just goes through the flames of where
you're aiming for the skull, the, the, the flames just kind
of engulf it. And as the flames start to grow
and you strike something solid behind the flames, the the, the,
the skull that's both skulls actually probably start just
laughing profoundly and growing inside of the flames and
standing on top of the couch at full their full height and their
armored body. Oh, now they have bodies.
Sweet. I hit them.
Really hard. I I hate them.
Well, you, you did your action. Those are your action and and
your secondary action, right? So now you're going to.
I got aroma damage. For the.
I don't know if I. Hit them your.
Reaction was to say they suddenly gained a body.
Oh it's like yes, the the second one hits for sure.
And let me. So let's see, I roll a + 5 bonus
damage because of the hex blades curse.
In addition to the in. Addition to Yeah, I don't know
how you do that, but here we go. Up to you.
You can either multiply the damage that you roll by two or
roll the dice twice. I guess I'll multiply because of
rolling the dice twice and then removing whatever bonuses I get
is a lot. So 41 + 546 doubled.
God damn, God damn, God damn. 92.
Fuck him up. 92 fucking damage, fuck him up.
You gave me a legendary like destruction weapon.
You as I said miss with the first one and then with the
second one strike full center body and you see the chest
cavity where the chest plate that is covering it just buckle
under your under your strike and it stumble slightly under the
under the barrage. 96 damage and it stumbles slightly.
Let's do this. I RIP my shirt open to display
my now 20 dexterities. Lean ABS.
And they're listening. Because I also have a 20
charisma. Is that your turn?
Yeah, that'll be my turn. That was movement, bonus action
and action. All right, then.
I believe I poorly chose this creature, but I I believe it is.
Oh, no, wait, this might be an oxide.
Yeah. It's hard to keep track of
what's what. Get that?
Next time just try to populate an entire zombie army where
every zombie has its own personality.
I'd like to read them, thanks. Did you roll damage for the
fireball again? Grand Am.
Oh, earlier I did, I got. Do I need to do it again again?
Unless you want to keep that damage.
The 40 was no no where was it? I got a 37 last time. 37 Yeah,
because there was. There's another creature moving
through it. Oh.
Yeah, I'll roll it again. Oh shit, I just closed.
Damn it. Fuck him up, fuck him, fuck him,
fuck him up. Roll 20.
Just fuck him. Wrong character.
Oh well. 31. I'll bet.
Level 6 spell go Burr. I don't think they can do
anything else. Vision.
Spell casting? Well, they can.
No. That's the other creature.
Never mind. Welcome up.
And target some pretty sure that you can see on the tournament.
OK so actually they make it to the other side of the firewall,
each of these creatures both taking damage.
They seem to be the Knights of the Devil Army are.
They still following the rules. Some of them seem to be the
queen doesn't though, and is Kira you're you're up shortly
here, just to let you know. But as the Knights make it to
the other side, let's see here. We've got 20.
OK, so let's make sure. Yep, one creature.
OK, so the one target seems to glare at the night from the
other side that has made it out to the front lines, and the
other one just glares straight across at the pond on on your
guys's side, one of which is a pegasi, Pegasus, whatever.
And they both need to make what is this Constitution saving
throw? So.
Oh, they're pretty, pretty Constitution heavy.
Yeah. The Pegasus saves.
What? Yeah.
The. Strongest of the go boys.
Oh no, it's going to be one of these guys and we'll call it
that constitution. And they both save so they don't
take any negative effects as they as a what they was going to
have to take. So then it is your turn KIRO,
with your guys's queen on deck, just so you know.
All right. And then the 2 Knights.
All right, so going on the board would break the rules.
So KIRO, with his last glance, he steps himself right?
Oh wait, I got to move the freaking controller right here.
And because I've wanted to see how this freaking ability works.
Everything within one second down there, everything within 30
feet of me must make a deck save as KIRO starts to dance.
I'm going to need a deck save with disadvantage since you're
moving with your eyes closed. She has the passion of the
music, kiddo. And they're going to need to
make a What was it again? Sorry.
Every, every, every creature within 30 feet of me.
So that is everything from here, basically, yeah, basically here.
Everything from here to me and the lady to my right and.
Father, I must dance. Hold on, let me make sure I'm
checking my pathway here. Make sure everybody's good.
Yes, my son, go falls into the walls and dance your way through
battle be at. All I got a little bit of
movement left, so I'm gonna make one small adjustment.
I'm going to move him right here.
Still within 5 foot. Didn't break nobody's attack of
opportunity. Double checking my allies.
But no one stand in your way. Carol of Dance.
I would still get the night from your your guys's side.
Yep, KIRO is going to feel sad that, but he's going to hope
that he passes as an eruption of black flame takes this area
right through here. Sorry, what was it again?
It is a Dexterity saving throw. I'm going to need an acrobatics
from you as well. An acrobatics from me.
Sorry, an athletics. I always get those two freaking
confused. 18 God, Thank God I'm athletic.
Yeah, but I figured you probably walk with your hands out in
front of you, touch a boob of the Medusa as you walk by, but
you make it to where you're trying to get.
Now let's roll for all of these prayers.
See how many was that again? 1234?
The first one was a 19, which was your night 17.
Let's see, I'm doing doing my math right now.
Let's see, went to scroll too far, 22222 mm Hmm.
Yeah, let me know what you they need to make before I keep
rolling here so I can. Yep.
All right. So our proficiency at this level
is what is proficiency at this level?
Jesus Christ. If I haven't by chance?
OK, it's 5 so yes they must, they must break ADC 17.
OK, so that that works for the for your guys's night, the first
gibbering but not the second. Do you want to roll damage for
what you're doing? Oh, yeah, this is going to be
all right. Yeah.
All right. Where's that little dice roll of
these things? Here we go.
I need. Tasty, tasty.
And then I need all right. Oh wait.
And my weapon is a give it to me hot Mama.
What do we have? OK, it's not giving me a number.
Ah, OK. That'll be 65 damage.
Hot down. What the half or ability was
that? So this is the capstone ability
of the sword sage of Kaji sushi stance.
They're they're at 15th level. You become a master of true
speed flames centered around yourself into an action each
creature of your choice within 30 feet.
Oh shit, he didn't even have to do that is my choice, huh
Angels? But he passed anyway, so we're
fine. Makes a dexterity saving throw.
On a failure, they take 10D6 fire damage and 4D8 slashing
damage on a failed set. Additionally, I can choose to
pull or push them up to 15 feet towards or away from myself.
On success, they take half and they don't get moved.
How many times can you use that? That's a cool capstone.
It's once a day. Yeah.
There's a lot of guys out here on the field so you know, I felt
like that would be the smart play to swing with it goes Bert
real quick and I'm not and I'm not breaking the rules because I
haven't stepped onto the field let.
Me. See how many was that again,
1/2? Let's see, that'd be. 345 OK.
Plus Medusa over. Here 345, I'm still on.
I'm still on those guys and working through their their
damage. Everybody cross their fingers.
Everybody got silvery barbs. I look like, I wish I look like
a Bart, but I'm not. Didn't you start off as a Bard?
Yes, I did sword as Bard, maybe I'll dip back into it.
I mean, I'm triple classing in the other campaign, I should
triple class in this one too, right?
I can't just do anything straight Giggity.
Yeah, gonna be. A rat.
Gotta get a get all those little those all that all that gay in
there. Can't do anything straight.
This guy, Oh Dang, he made the save.
Is it half on the save? Half on the save.
Who? Dang.
So half 65 cut in half would be 30. 32 and a half 3232 But what
kind of damage was it again? Fire and slashing.
How much of it was slashing? How much of A slashing gotta go
to? The was it magical slashing?
Oh yeah, this is all magical. Let's see.
I go here then. Yeah, the thing.
The thing where? It made me angry.
OK, Come on. Where are you at?
Where are you at?
OK, I'm going back up. Where is there?
Yes. I probably should have rolled
those guys individually because they did the math for me.
OK, wait, 10. OK, there we go.
So 10 and then so it was 1/10/12, it was 12 slashing.
OK. Jacob, what do you think of the
capstone? It's exactly what I pictured the
sword sage capstone would be like.
Oh no, no, that's not the Sword Sage capstone, that's the
subclass capstone. Still you would do the like
cliche samurai. I thought it was cool.
It is cool. That's why, that's why.
It's cool. Things become cliche real quick.
12 9. OK, I believe.
Oh, I still got that guy, gosh darn it.
Oh, the Medusa made it sadness. I will, honestly.
There is so much to roll here I haven't even got to her.
She definitely did make it though with the 22 holy balls.
That was Nat 20 though for her too.
She's on fire this evening. Oh, she will be.
Because I'm, I'm going to relegate this because this is,
let's see. Well, I can't really do that
because that required a whole action to perform.
So bonus action just to keep the blade going, then the Hellfire
going bonus action going to perform.
Blazing Sword OK with disadvantage.
Oh. No, no, no, that's just me
igniting the sword. Oh OK, my bad.
I have to use. I have to use a bonus action to
ignite it. OK.
So that was your bonus action and you're done with your turn
then? Yeah, because in order to
activate Extra Attack, I believe I have to take the attack
action. Believe correct myself, I'm
wrong. Yeah, if you've got.
If you have an extra attack, it only works if you the attack
action. Correct.
Yeah, they have. I say, because this required
then let's see. Yep, as an action, Yeah.
So I had to perform an entire action to pull that one off.
So yeah. And then Blaze ignited for bonus
action. OK, since both of you have moved
off the couch, you don't get a sense in your mind like you did
about the pieces wanting to move.
But grand am you do of the Queen and her movement.
Oh. Damn.
It. So I get to control our Queen
or. Yep.
Or the Queen. Queen.
Aw, she's boxed in. He will wait.
OK. Does she?
Does she have any move sets that you can work with?
I oh do I have a stat block somewhere?
Let me pull something up. Yeah, they seem to all have
magic powers. Magic powers.
I sent the the first link that I sent and the very first one.
It gives you the full combat tracker which should give you
each of the things but it does. I don't have them listed as like
Queen. So she's the battle force?
Angel. Yes, she's the Battle Force
Angel. OK.
I don't own Ravnica guide. I do I do I do I?
Do it's downstairs. I got you.
Don't worry. Hold on.
Do I have this book? 10 seconds.
Yeah, I do. I like Ravnica.
That's why I bought it. Yeah, but I say for the all
right, I'm, I'm pulling her up right now.
I'm pulling her. OK, I was about to be like
they're they're charging 60 bucks for APDF.
That's criminal for a four year old PDF.
Wow, what she is. Yeah, yeah, it's, it's it's
definitely absurd. I've Oh yeah, I've I've kind of
cheated the situation cause I have friends that have stuff and
then kind of just share it amongst each other where.
We're at for the most. Part I though I have a son who
pirates. Yo-yo how a pirates life for me.
I mean, just to be honest, that's that's where I how I have
90% of my freaking PD FS is my son.
I have over a TB of audiobooks on.
A hard drive. What do you have for me today?
That I purchased totally legally.
Recorded. I mean, if she flies, she can
break the rules, right? And fly over everybody.
You've seen that the Queen on the other side can break the
rules. That's.
But no, but no. But no ready watch.
She can fly, right? So that would mean that by rules
she would be up by 5, right? Go forward any direction.
As long as she's going any direction on the board, she's
still within parameters. Of the rules, it can't, no.
No, no, no, it can't move through something.
Vertical movement is not a rule in Rick.
I'm going to see if she'll cheat for me and have her move.
See if she'll move here. If she can go cheaty face.
I think that's in range. Her movement is actually her.
Oh, fly speed's 90. Yeah, she can get there.
ISIS. Yeah, so she perks up and flies
straight to where you're aiming, but you're kind of having to
look partially away, you know, with the.
Organ. Yeah, the Medusa that's down
there. Yeah.
So you know what? If the Medusa's breaking all the
rules, she's going to go engage the Medusa.
That's. What we're doing, we're.
Going to have her go here and just do her multi attack.
She seems to be hesitant but noticing that the other one is
in the in the same, you know, situation.
Multi attack. OK, so she's going to take the
2. Too long and she's going.
To give each of us the battlefield inspiration.
So we're going to get a plus D4 to our next attacks.
OK to yeah, each three creatures.
Yep. Hurricane, I'm gonna do it.
Second one, not so much, I don't think, though Yeah, first one
definitely hits and then the second one misses.
Let's see if it even matters though.
Where's the game in a Sword of Justice?
Schwad. Schwad No.
Unions I could I could definitely picture Brarlson
saying that is battle cry. I mean his knuckle dusters are
called the Union Busters. I don't remember.
I don't remember saying that. That's what I call them.
Oh, OK. Oh OK, here to hit it comes
through really weird, but it says 32 damage so where we'll go
with that None of it is that's OK.
So Yep, you here rather than see the sudden and the whale that
follows. Actually, you know what, just
because she looked at her probably and you hadn't given
her command otherwise she's going to need to make a
constitution saving throw. So she didn't take it
disadvantage on her attack, but that would that would constitute
a constitution. Constitution is +1 she that's
not her save. No, her save would be no.
Maybe plus one. Yep, because she doesn't have an
additional. Yeah, she's proficient Wisdom
and Charisma, not the other. So she's got.
A Knock it out of the park. Oh, she's only CR 5?
Never mind, I'm used to my angels being beefier than that.
Yeah, this is just a little boy, little girl.
I I rolled AA13 for which she needed to make a 14.
Oh, she could. No, she needed to make a make.
She needed to beat a 14. Oh.
So the she is the queen is now your guys's queen is now
restrained and they can repeat their saving throw on their turn
on their next turn. And if they don't succeed, they
become petrified. Who can play at that great
concentration? Never mind all the fire it.
Is and then it would be what did I say these people were again, I
don't freaking remember you guys were able to move the bishops
before, so these have got to be the rooks.
I'll see. But it's only Grand Am that's
getting the command. And I believe Grand Am you.
No, it's going to be, it's going to be a lot of things before
Grand Grand Am because Grand Am rolled A, rolled a, rolled A6, a
lot of. Yeah, if I control the rooks,
will they cheat? Does not feel like they can
understand what you mean by that.
They they own you, get you you. You probably send a command of
move like in an odd direction and they're just like.
They. Cannot comply.
That's until the pawns are out of the way, and that's OK.
Don't be a minute. Those guys are both hurt.
I don't think that's right. Whatever.
Well, that's got to be No, that's not right.
Whatever. Yeah, the other it would be the
rooks turn from the other side of the field and they cannot,
they can move especially actually you know what happens,
the king and the Rook from the left side of the field castle
switching their place positions, moving the king to the farthest
position away from your guys is queen and hero.
Where's the King? Closest to you now, Roro.
Fuck yeah. So is that the turn 'cause he's
about to take some fire damage? That was the rook's turn all.
Right fire damage. Just for moving along on the
outside of the wall, it's within 30.
Feet for Indy gets turned within 10 feet of the burning side of
the wall. Oh, oh, OK for the Rook.
Got it. Yeah, the the king does not
care. Yeah, King could be a devil.
I don't care. I see 35 with a Dexterity saving
throw. No saving throw cuz.
Oh, OK, Dexterity saving throws for when the wall appears and
that. Was just no.
That would. Hanging out near the wall is
just flat damage. That's a conscious choice of I'm
going to stand in the fire. This looks nice.
Warm. Something smells good, I wonder.
Watch for dinner, ha ha ha ha. Then it would be all of the
ponds on your guys's side of the field.
Oh, this game does not exactly play like chess if you haven't
found out, because because the initiative is easier when you
can lump all of the same thing in together.
All right, they advance forward in a phalanx.
Every. Other one moves up two every.
No. Every other one moves up two and
then the other ones move up one to cover them.
Starting, which one starts, then to move up?
Up one, up two. Up one, Up two.
Up one, up two. Up one, up two.
Oh, that doesn't work for that guy.
He stays there. He he's fucked, whatever.
Alright, and they are Pegasus so and make sure if you can't find
their stat block I can share it. I would bring that second one.
I would. I would bring that.
Let's see 1234, the fifth one, bring it up to instead of 1
because it then opens up the bishops.
It opens the bishops A. Good point.
So do what now, huh? Paying for being just one.
Move it up two instead. OK,
that does leave that I think I've mixed up which watch what
No, because you guys have moved. No, so now the you'd actually
commanded earlier. That's right, hero, your Bishop
right to move up. Yep, Yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah. All the bishops, as soon as they
have the ability to move, will move into an attack position.
So Bishop right here would move to here, and Bishop here will
move. Forget what's their movement
again? I can't remember what their full
movement is. As long as they're on the board,
they can move as board pieces. And they can move as more
pieces. So trying to think.
They would still be, they would still be able to reach that spot
because. I will move and I will move that
other Bishop to right here. OK, but then I think this is
where I messed up somewhere because I think I moved.
I moved each of Oh no, that's why I'm getting confused because
my Bishop moved before the game started.
I think. No, it moved as the game
started. That's where keeping track.
Which one? Which?
And then my 1 Bishop will attack any many money MO catch the
tiger body. So if you hollers making pay any
many money MO he will attack this guy.
OK. What?
Unless I'm looking through it. Yeah, I'm looking at the right.
Yeah. The art.
Yeah, that is a sea turtle. But it has.
Never mind. Yeah, I know.
I, I, I told you I, I was moving very quickly.
I went off, I went off of, I went off of CR rating basically
after a certain point and just threw some stuff in there.
Yep, works for me. This is the blessed shellback
attack Turtle turtle. Turtle, I say, are those going
to be scary? Hey, are they turtle enough for
the turtle party? Let's see.
Thereby, tardily enough for the turtle party, let's.
See. I'm trying to figure out what
their attack stuff is so I can do the attack thing.
Yeah, well. My name is ready.
Yeah, they're the, they're the the turtle that you did find
the. Yeah.
Oh no yeah, there it goes. My cures now not acting like a
butt hole to me. Alright, so they have a + 6 to
attack people. Awesome.
So one of those +6. Let's find out what happens.
Yeah. They they chief.
Oh, and they rolled an 8. Wait, did they have a multi
attack? They're multi.
It does have. OK, they have a multi attack.
OK, OK, maybe maybe. Hold on.
Come on baby. Don't do get them. 7 Even lower.
14 though does a 14. Hit oh, oh, 'cause that was the
flat, that was the flat side 14 and you're aiming for that guy.
Yeah. Wait, will these guys be the
guys inside the fire They obscured 'cause he would hit the
most direct thing in front of him?
Are they obscured or can I see them?
I think they're technically obscured.
I think then, yeah, yeah. Then it'd be this guy.
Yeah. I forgot to ask that question.
Shit. That's all right.
I I forgot to even contemplate it as well.
So. As much as Jacob uses this
spell, I think I Yeah. We.
We would. You'd think both of us would
know, but the four team would definitely hit that guy.
OK. And he will take.
A look. It was opaque.
It is opaque opaque. Yeah, which does that mean I
never remember. Opaque is not translucent.
Oh, opaque is not your other. OK, so translucent like trans to
pass through or to and loose and loose lux light opaque.
And he takes a whopping 17 damage.
Yeah. Yeah.
Take that shell attack What? Eat my shell.
Josh, I remember opaque because opals are cloudy.
That's my two cents. Bye I.
Wish you were here, Emily. I'm here, I'm just quiet, I'm
listening and it's making. My work so much better, so thank
you. I'm glad.
Kerry. Anne, are you entertained?
I'm actively working elevations right now too.
It's excellent, but at least it's only tagging.
OK, so these are both effects of when it starts its turn to.
Do tomorrow. Yet, All right, so yeah, that
it's just screams it at the Bishop in return.
And then let me see, where the freak are we in this term?
Fuck you. Bishop.
Oh, fuck you, Bishop. I know.
Fuck you, Bishop. What's your?
Name. Fuck you.
What's your name?
Ezekiel. Fuck you, Ezekiel.
What's your? Name Jacob, said Flashback.
So the I moved those guys already.
That's where I was getting confused here now.
So these guys need to move. I think it's technically your
guys's rooks. Turn is what it is.
It's been 84 years. And our rooks are tied up so.
These guys. Yeah, it is because Brooks can
all. Yeah, rooks can only move
forward in sideways. Yep, and it is Grand AM that is
controlling them again, Yeah. Grand Am will just have like the
one on the left, move forward one, the one on the left move
left one and just wait for an opening to go screaming through
like a blitzkrieg. So like this?
Yep. OK.
The ones that are inside the wall, as they leave the wall,
they don't do anything right because the inside.
The leaving is fine, OK Starting inside doesn't do anything,
ending inside does. Stepping inside also hurts.
It hurts you. Ending your.
Turn inside like the hot side or inside of it deals damage and
stepping into it deals damage. OK, so yeah, they're those two
are pretty much stuck in there right now anyways.
But this one does move up a singular 1, which is probably
stupid for it, but it does it and it no the other two are
stuck in it because they've got three creatures in front of
them. Unfortunate fire damage.
If they end their turn inside of it, you mean?
Yeah, as they end their turn inside of it, 25 fire damage.
That's OK, yeah, leaving one pawn left on the side and then
the King's turn. Oh, hail the King.
No, the king, brother, king. Who's the king?
Which king? Our King.
The King. Already had our King's turn.
Yep, he couldn't move. This king walks through the the
fire to stand directly in front of your guys's Bishop.
And let's make sure that he doesn't do anything because he's
probably got some stuff. Fight one of his claws in one
place. Well.
Jesus it makes. 4 attacks OK so. He's the king.
I am the king. I think a 22 hits.
Respect to my power. A17A19 and a 23 probably.
All four of those hit. All four of those hit.
All hit with. RIP Kira. 35 Oh no.
Oh no, no, this is all just for the the Archon in front of him.
How much total? Let me let me do some math math.
For me, 30. 5 + 16 + 19 + 23 + 43 plus Jesus Christ 21 + 2223
for a total of 202 damage. The fuck over?
Wait, hold on. That's what.
Yeah, my brain went the fuck over.
I think that was wrong. I think I added something too
many times though, because they told the stuff for me when I was
trying to add stuff. OK, so yeah, here we go. 35 or
35 + 23 plus 43 plus 23124. Oh yeah, no, he did.
Dead. Still.
Still very dead. He very, he's still very dead.
Very, very dead. Like he's actually.
Going to look like. The world's tiniest Baylor in
the House. And then it would be, oh, the
skull guys that you attacked before Grand Dam.
Finally, you're on deck here. Or they get through round one
round before 8. Yeah, that's a lot of creep,
man. I didn't think you guys would
take this route. It would have gone faster if
you'd have gone the other route. Who would have guest?
Hero. Hero Guest.
I don't know what route you're talking about.
Is this not how the game is played?
Nobody explained it to me. He doesn't even recognize you're
playing a game. OK.
He's enemies. Move The one that you nearly
killed as it stumbled back and barely holding its feet.
Feet Rural points its finger at you and says die.
No. Think you need to roll a
Constitution saving throw? Shit, I'm within the aura of
some something, right Nick? Yeah, your guys is king.
Yeah, believe it he was. 1D4. He frightened or charmed.
Can be frightened or charmed. Is this a frightening or
charming thing? No.
You got a + 2 to. My con yeah, you have.
You have 15 temporary hit points and yeah, you add AD.
Four. Oh yeah, 1D4 to something.
Yeah. All right, so this plus 1D4.
Come on, big Bunny. Yes, 21 plus God 2, so 23.
You feel your soul start to separate from your body, but
then snap back into place. No, it's like.
And then the other one looks at him and goes, well, that's not
how you're supposed to do it. This is how you're supposed to
do it. And he points his finger at you
and says. Die.
Cat, come on, big roll. Stay with this roll.
Stay with this 10 plus 1D4 4/14. Alright for your help.
Wasn't there a, a a inspiration, some warlords inspiration that
we got or was? That the 1D4.
That was the one D4. Was that that was the to the
attack. Got it.
So. Yeah, so 14.
I was trying to me and I click on this.
Me Daddy. No, it doesn't.
Oh, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can do it.
I think it'll do it. You might not die, might not
keyword mine not. Fine, and won't do it like that.
I got it. Oh yeah, it did.
I did it too many times though. I didn't think it was coming
through. The first one counts 66 damage,
not 66. Total of yeah, Howard means if
you're below, you're done. It's not save, it's are you
below this mount? You are dead.
What is? Oh man, let me look that up.
Power Word. Kill.
Power word kill. That's what I thought they were
doing. Yeah, I did too.
For a second I was like, oh. Shit has 100HP or lower though.
I have 115. For your total, but this is
finger of death, so you just take 66 necrotic damage.
Yeah, now I'm at 49. Oh shit, actually it says if
you've succeed you take half damage.
My bad. So the so the second, we'll take
the second roll of 55 for that other one divided.
By two, so 20. 27. You're still with this?
You're still with. This look at the other one say.
No Remember Remember you got burned through your temporary
before you hit your main main hit points.
That's right. Do you know who my father is?
Do. They you're asking them.
No, I Yes, I am. Do you know who my father is?
I don't. I'm looking for them.
Are you my father? I, we, we could be.
They both look at each other and then look back at you.
Are you adopting? Sure, God fucking.
This is. Funny, Grand.
Am just over there slurping on his sippy cup as always.
I think it would be grand. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Let me make sure that they don't have OK, yeah, no, they're good.
They they have multi attack but they used spells instead so
yeah, Yep. Ow ow.
Now stop it it. Would be Grand Amstern.
Right. Oh, Papa, Well, is that?
So funny. OK, push.
The button. And do I want to use the fun
features that I built this class around to 1?
Of those. Practical and shoot lightning
and shoot sunbeams features. We're going to use my wild shape
and I'm going to activate horrid shape.
Horrid shape allows me to spend points that I acquire every
period, every day to give it horrifying mutations.
I'm going I have 813 points to spend today.
So I'm going to buy the I want to turn into a grizzly bear or a
not a grizzly bear brown bear. I'm going to give it a defended
maw. Actually, no, I want to give it
Krakens kiss. Yeah, got that.
That's three points. The touch feels Kraken.
I'm going to. Give him 10.
And I'm going to give him super big paws.
That's another one point. And then also some temporary HP.
All right, so now I am a cuz I am now a.
Kasu Bear. Yeah I'm Kasu Bear.
I am copy image. So can I add stuff to the game
just so I can drop a bear shape down there?
Cuz this is gonna be a common occurrence, I won't even bother
with it. I'm now large though, am I?
I'm a medium. Brown bears larger medium.
Brown bear I believe are large. So yeah, I can't resize my
token, but we're. Then I can.
Introduce ourselves to the Medusa well.
There you go. Hell yeah, action And I was also
going to purchase the Grabbing tentacles.
That's two more points. I think it's your arm.
Of the Madness has three points all.
Right. Is your Are your eyes still
averted then it sounds like. No, I'm looking at this bitch.
It's all right. I'll be all right.
That would definitely require a constitution.
I believe it was Save a Girl I think.
I'll be all right, I'll be all right.
With a 20, yeah, you're all right.
You're not capacitated and you can see the creature.
I feel like I know what's about to happen.
All right, I'm going to use multi attack because I have
modified my mouth. My bite attack is now my Cthulhu
face attack and my claws are now my new claw attack.
I'm right, my new claw attack is.
So I do 2 claw attacks on a bite attack.
Where's the brown bear stat block?
Here he is brown bear stat block along with his bite and one with
his claws. So a bite attack and a claw
attack start off with the bite. It's basically a spell attack,
so I get to add my wisdom rather than my Cthulhu strike.
Where? I'm.
Going to roll do 20 and that'll be a plus.
What's my spell attack mod? Plus 10.
So did it go? Through. 1919 to hit for the
bite. Yep, that'll do it.
All right, she is going to take 3D6 psychic damage and needs to
make a no on a successful Yeah, Yeah, they are now grappled by
my tentacles and have to make an intelligence save to escape.
You're in the wrong campaign dude.
I know, right? We need to go be friends with
Franklin and go. So 7 psychic damage and then
you. Fit right in.
Another 24 to hit. That'll do it.
And then 11 plus strength which is 4 in brown bear form SO15
more slashing damage. OK.
And that is great. And she is now grappled in like
she is not grappled. She's what's?
What's the term? Restrained.
Restrained until she can make an intelligent safe, No, not
intelligent safe strength safe to escape.
OK. 1st is my belcasting DC. That's Grand Am's turn.
All right, she bellows in rage and is otherwise incapable of
avoiding your writhing tentacle attack.
And maybe between you did not move before her turn, which is
up next. The two skull Lords.
Oh, it's a different therapy. Let me see here.
Speed. OK.
Yeah. Yeah.
Are bickering amongst each other and say you didn't kill him.
Well, you didn't kill him either and the one pulls out his staff
and in between the bickering just bonks you on the head.
Oh, you get to go twice? Fuck you, we're trying to.
Punch Judy. Legendary actions be huge. 16 to
hit. That's a mess, no?
And then the other one goes, well, that's just wrong.
You couldn't do that. Why didn't you try this?
And then he pulls out his. I'm ready for it.
You did the same thing last time.
You do the same things. He raises his hand.
Where? Where did that go?
Now I can. OK, so it has to be that hold.
The man. And lightning springs forth from
it. He didn't do the same thing.
And then just trying to see because it says that, OK, so I
got a roll to hit for this one technically as well.
That's a 27. That'll hit.
Yeah, that'll that. Just barely, you know, just like
it just skirts through. So in the it's real, real, real
small, Yeah. Oh, that was full damage though.
Nice lightning damage. And you can't take a reaction
until the start of your next turn.
Dang, dude. So you're just for a second?
All my hair is standing on end, just a big fuzz ball.
Then it would be the Medusa's turn, who is quite agitated to
say the least. Restrained, so can't one effect
of the. Fantasy.
Oh, that's no, that's there we go.
Speed attack rolls against you have advantage and saving
through effects. You make have disadvantage on
Dexterity saving throws, but she could still attack you.
OK, I was just making sure that that was the case rather than
trying to get out of the restrained condition.
Just if there's if they're restrained, they have
disadvantage to attack, but they can't attack.
And the one that is doing the restraining has advantage to
attack them. It's it's the polar opposite to
each other. Oh, right, right, right.
I see it. I see it.
I'm surprised that the move Jacob did, I'm actually
surprised. I was expecting a totally
different ball game for that move.
So what? Were you expecting?
I was expecting you to swallow it, OK?
I was expecting you to swallow the damn the time.
I'm assuming I'm assuming a 10A7 or A6 don't hit so I don't have
to roll with disadvantage anyways as they the first rolls
would even hit though she's just flailing with her hair to just
in your grasp like trying to get get at you but can't quite.
To telepathically communicate with her, going like just let it
happen, just let it happen. That that she probably would
start screaming. No, I'm just kidding.
You're just a jet piece anyways in a God's tower.
It's all right. Yep, you matter even.
Less than me. You're not so deaf.
Right. With that, I believe it is the
Bishop's turns on my side of the field, which I have to go soon
would take fire damage. Yeah, I think we're probably
going to have to end it here. I mean, there's not quite a
clear Victor I've seen yet unless you guys are, I'm seeing
that this side is down this this side is down pretty hard.
But it's mainly it's, it's still unclear in my mind that this is
going going to resolve exactly the way it's going to because I
had something else in mind as well.
But we can end it here. Yeah, big statue boys not done
anything. Oh no, no, he he wouldn't.
Unless you guys dandedly went try to go straight for the next
floor and I would not advise that route.
How bad Canon? That giant pyramid had ass like
a motherfucker bee. Forward, right, So we just go up
behind and we just hop over the. Up the stairs, in the big go up
the stairs and come up the downstairs and it'll be back.
Perfect. I'll just put it this way, does
anyone know what a zodar is? I do ow, but I respect it.
I respect that. I don't that's that's a new one
to me. I don't Google it either because
I'm not a bitch. I want Google.
I want to be a bitch, but I'm not.
I want to know things, but you know what?
You want to be a bitch so bad? Yeah, they're they're they're at
least give you some lore about them because they're fun.
Is that they're they travel the Astral Sea in search of
fugitives for the gods basically.
Oh, they're Eternals. Whatever they're called, they're
the they're they're the same thing as the Maroot, the same
category. OK, yeah, yeah, I don't fuck
with those. Yeah, not many people do.
Actually, when they just like it's not, it's not, it's not I
hit you, it's you take this damage done.
It's one of the fair few creatures I've found that has a
wish spell. I wish you.
A die. Gotcha.
Are we? Don't tonight then.
I believe so. Good session.
Have a good one everyone. Take these you guys night.
A grand and wonderful thank you for those who took the time and
made it here to the end of the episode where I know sometimes
we are long winded and others we are just dead silent.
I don't know what to tell you. It is RAW here folks.
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