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Metaphor and Greg Fucking Greg. Today we ascend the tower, my
Lord. I'll check on the status of the
Brill. To that effect, we're throwing
out the beginning of this usual intro and getting straight into
the chaos today with Franklin, Ezra and Boust, who linked after
walking through the doors into the cold metal hallways after
the scorching hot lava room with Ogremack and find themselves now
opening their eyes joltingly into a circular chamber that you
guys are standing at the bottom of a stair with what looks like
a a brewing set up in front of you.
Well, maybe not directly in front of you.
It's more to the side. Directly in front of you is
another set of stairs that look like there is something actually
an entire tree trunk looks like to be coming out of the center
of that stair stairway that's going down with the tops of it.
Just the the the tops of it poking out and some berries and
such growing on it. Oddly that seem to somehow be
peeking and collected and it looks like there's only one
person working around this area collecting these berries.
There's a bit of a machine going wearing with juice flowing,
sloshing and the a large what looks like some sort of vessel
that's sewing a little bit of steam.
How about before you guys find yourself and.
Do look familiar? No.
And then there is it's almost like the there's a freeze frame,
the steam starts to slow and then hang frozen in the air.
And this the guy that's that's moving the berries freezes and
hang is it's hanging in the air. And a familiar form snaps into
existence in front of you. Franklin, but new to Ezra and
Faust here. Let's paste him here.
Paste Franklin, right. Wait, did you?
No, you gave your name as Mommy actually.
So Mommy. How's it going?
Good to see you. I give him a hug.
He holds a hand up like in front of him to, to like, stop you
like maybe, probably on the forehead even.
Like he's just like, no, we're, we're not quite in that sort of
relationship yet. You're so I'm just move
differently here. You guys had just cleared a
another chamber and I don't have your two names.
And he points to both of you guys, but I'll need it here.
And he pulls a book out from one of the folds of his sleeves in
his robe to write it down. To make sure you get your
prizes. IR Ezra.
Just Ezra or is it the full IR Ezra?
Is that your name? It's it's Ezra.
He. Ezra literally starts stroking
his his facial snout going like leaving on a label thought is it
I heart is wrong. I am beginning to gather that
spontaneously appearing in new locations is going to be the new
norm for me. Troublesome.
Yeah, never anywhere, dice. Hey, I resent that.
Nice to you. I mean, you're not wrong, but we
do have to then battle. Oh yeah.
Hey, what would you do? With your time.
I mean, you could be running the best interdimensional SPA in the
world anyway. Maybe Rises, Ezra starts
sniffing the air. He's a cool guy.
He's the He's the Tower Award. We've got a business deal.
I tap my nose. I'll write it down here, just in
the Ledger, ERZA, I'd still didn't get your name there, so.
Don't believe I gave it. I'm not in the habit of giving
it out to this random strangers. Well, I get that.
My name is Ishmel. This is the infinite tower you
find yourself in. Your friend here has already
started a bargain with me to move through the tower and get
as many levels as you possibly could.
Does that name ring A? Bell at all?
Ishmel yes, yeah, you can ring. A bell to me, but that doesn't
state. You may.
Make a religion check. Yes, you may.
Does he smell funny 17? You know that in, in the lore of
of the of the gods and, and in maybe even in the creation of
Tareth that there was a bit of a dispute among them and Ishmael
had been banished from ever taking form or shape the antar.
But he finds, you know, he finds ways to communicate with the
different, different verses. But otherwise he himself is
trapped in this space where you guys are probably finding and
you're realizing now must be the infinite tower.
It was only ever told in lower that he was trapped in a in a in
a in another space and wasn't allowed out.
Oh. He's a God, not a fiend.
All. Right.
Yeah. Nothing wrong with hands.
What's it smell like? Oh, probably ink and paper for
the most part. You smell like mage.
Well, let's see here. May I know the?
May I know the nature of your bargain?
Certainly you shan't die here as you if you were to die in the
towers, you would be resurrected on your plan of existence,
usually with a beneficial reward, and usually in that
reward are some ways to make your way back and try again.
So it is a game to keep you entertained in your exile.
Pretty much. You got a nail on the head
there. That games.
That and well, you know, not only with my entertainment, I do
like to start some fuckery with them, with those assholes on the
other planes as much as possible.
Yeah, you hate the gods. Well, wouldn't you if you were
banished by them into a singular?
Existence. I hate the gods too.
We should tease. Out you know what Faust is going
to give like a John. Can't Hancock scale like
Signature in that book? Have you seen floating head
goblin? Is he a God?
Oh yeah, I need your real. Name or are you signing John
Hancock? So he is signing, He is going to
say write his full name Botasarfaoust.
OK. Oh, and he he sees best time for
to. Sorry, you see.
Go ahead, no worries. He sees you grab for the the the
quill that he's holding basically, and it would probably
be go ahead and are are you really trying because it I or or
are you going to ask him? He was.
Asking us to sign it like he said that we had to put our
names in the book. I'm just assuming that he wrote.
Ezra is because Ezra is illiterate.
He is. So you're you're communicating
that with him, I guess, rather than trying to OK.
So when you say. Forcibly take something from a
God. Right, I got you.
So he, he, he, he he looks at you and looks over at you're
reaching out for it, ready to to write your own name in there.
And he goes, shrugs and hands you the turns the book around
and hands you the quill and shows you where to sign.
Basically sign your name there. Any like diabolic fuckery going
on here? Like fine print on the page.
No, it just looks like to be a list of names and an ever
changing counter next or some of their names.
Sometimes it'll stop for a while actually, and it or some of them
have stopped completely if you look far enough back and they
all seem to have a number associated with their rank in
how high they've gotten in the town.
Leaderboard. Oh my fucking God, He'll he'll
sign his fucking name. Yeah, he's going to sign a big.
OK, all right. Well, that and he slams the
books close with the quill still in it and with the tip facing
up. That should do pretty quite
nicely. You won't have contact with me
in the tower as as we start start everything up again,
because that would just be unfair, but know that you can
always find your way back with another astral diamond and he he
blinks out and everything starts to slowly move back into frame
almost and then start they see the steam start chugging it back
out of the vessel and the guy that's packing fruit into a box
or crate or into the thing back and forth you.
Might have been a relevant start movie before, but I'll ask it
later, never mind. What were you going to say
though, to Franklin? Or were you going to ask trying?
I was. Going to ask you a question
like, why was he banished? Oh, it was a dispute, he said.
But. To be completely blunt, I
haven't personally come up with the event, but I could come up
with something if it were that important right now.
But I know. OK, I didn't think so, Franklin.
Seriously vanished were. You going to try and grab his
attention before he shifted out of there too or something?
Yeah, I was just going to donate the My Future proceeds to a
young friend named Franklin the Turtle as Mommy.
Oh OK, yeah the big fella. I think they came through here
earlier, not sure why. Oh I I'm not seeing turtle after
their name. Do you think it's the same
person? Big, grey, tall.
Yeah, that's the one. OK, they're.
Ashamed of their history. I can try to do that.
And he kind of, you just see him like open the book real quickly
and just what looks like from your angle, just draw an arrow
from one to the other with a dashed line to it.
This should hold up. This should hold up for just
this run. You're still on the same run, by
the way, since you didn't die the last time.
Congrats, he says to you with a double finger gun as he closes
the books again and slides it up his sleeve.
Before that's cool finishing so looking at when he was doing it,
I just to confirm that I originally called myself mommy
but now asked for prizes to go to someone named Franklin who he
thinks is mommy. Correct Which Which though?
Because neither of you would sign the book yourselves has
actually been going through the the the the exchange, the
ethers, if you will, to you to to each other rather so.
That's kind of confusing. All right, let's go.
Yeah, you guys find yourself in that chamber with the tree
blocking the stairs further on, and there's a guy during what
looks and smells to be some sort of fruit.
Not every chamber, just so you guys know, is going to be a
fighting chamber or they don't have to be so.
You, you see, you see Ezra's ears kind of lower down, kind of
sad. I'm not, I'm not saying we can't
fight. I'm just saying like we don't
have to like immediately fight like because there's also there
might be secret rooms and exits here.
So if we can find secret rooms and exits, that may be better.
I don't know. Then perhaps this is a the
intention is to assist this man. Maybe we should go talk to him.
Are you a good charisma man? He gives you a look that,
without any shadow of a doubt, indicates that he does not like
talking to people. OK, sounds like it's a bee
thing. Which is fine because I've got
charisma. Ezra has Riz.
Ezra does have rizz, but I'm
afraid Ezra will eat him immediately.
And while I do support your dietary restrictions, I just
think that I don't know. I don't know, baby.
We'll see. We'll see.
Hold on. I skip over.
Hello, Sir. I you see before you a sorry
swallow, a stout looking gnome who?
Apologize for swallowing Josh. Who's who's working, working
about he, he's very dressed for work, you know, brown clothing.
You look like they're construction bad.
What are you doing here? Have you not seen anybody
fermenting stuff or am I I? Should.
No, I lived in a hole until I died, and then I became a demon
and tortured people for a few thousand years.
Oh dear. What's a What's a Furman?
You're going to need one of these.
And he he pulls from under the table.
It seems to be an open cat crate that has some bottles Jingle
around as he pulls one out and sets it on the table, pulls a
mug over and starts pouring a thank.
You. Purplish liquid out from the
bottle. I take it and then I put it in
front of him. You first, if you please.
Oh. Sorry.
And he takes a little sip and sets it back down.
You can see that he's swallowed and the liquid is on his lips,
leaving a purple stain. Take a sip as well.
This is delightful. I'm not sure if Franklin would
think that. Oh, that's true, because it
doesn't doesn't taste like people.
This seems to taste like a fortified wine.
It is at like 25 ish percent alcohol.
God, it makes my tug burn, Is that right, Poisoner?
No, no, that's that's normal, little one.
This this stuff is supposed to make you forget about the things
you were talking about. Oh, wait, you're not very
little. It's up at you.
You just sound. I've got sorry.
It's OK. I think I'm kind of short for my
age. Turtles grow up to be like, I
don't know, six, 6 1/2 feet tall or something crazy like that.
I'm only a four foot turtle, so I'm still only a 2/3 size
turtle. Anyway.
Do you know that you're in a tower and why you're here?
Are you a test? Are you real?
I put my hand in him. Try to.
You put your hand on him. Briefly.
Before he he like pushes it away, not sorry threateningly or
anything. He's like, whoa, I know we we
just met and everything but please buy me a drink first.
Sorry, sometimes I don't know what's real.
I take out a book that says How to know what's really real?
If I may. Yeah, go ahead.
One, you just gave him a drink, why would he buy you one?
Well, presumably because he wanted to touch me.
Is that not the custom where you're from?
I just thought you were an illusion.
Second time. May do you require any
assistance perhaps or there's. It is my understanding that we
are here for some deities amusement and.
That that's perhaps true. I mean, Ishmel does take
shipments from me from time to time.
I'm not usually cognizant during that point, but I enjoy what I
do here. I make and distill bits of wine
and fortify it to for for his benefit and mine.
Of course I get to. I get a good share.
Oh wow, here is like personal wide Baker.
Well, yeah, yeah, I I would prefer brew beister if you
would. OK, sorry brew beister.
Wow, let's say press the position.
And I can assume that his intent was not for us to kill you.
Oh. Ezra's ears drop down.
I'm not hearing you. Perhaps like some assistance in
your brewing? I am a skilled chemist.
Oh really? Now there, there is a a few
things I could use some hands for, but I don't, I don't know
if that would exactly be what you are wanting to do here.
Usually people when they're coming through just try to find
a way through or up to the next level and usually that entails
taking some time. What's the phrase cutting their
teeth on that tree over there? Cut.
Me like Interesting. Ezra pulls out X cut.
So you would prefer us to destroy the tree?
Not particularly. Then.
Gives me this this fruits. I'm going to propose a trade.
We can expedite things a bit. We give you a little bit of
assistance in your trade. You inform us how to proceed on.
I like this guy. Ezra a sad boy right now.
I'm not punishing something. Yeah, we can go through this one
real quick. And then the next one we'll have
another thing. We'll get a better prize.
So. Yeah, I agree.
What can we help you with? Wait, you said you needed hands
for something. Unfortunately, Ezra eats every
hand he could get his hands on. So.
We don't have a lot of spare ones on us, but if you like, if
he'd give us a little while, we could probably get some.
Which God, the city. The city had tons of hands in
it. Billions of hands left and
right, but I. Truly doubted.
What the hell didn't I? Slow, slow down, slow down
there, lad. Slow, slow down.
I, I, I was, I was referring to a little help in, you know,
lifting and airing and you know, got it correct.
It's a it's a turn of phrase. Ezra Lift.
I put my knife away, sorry. Yes you do, Ezra.
Yes, you do. He scratches Ezra behind the
ears. His tail, his tail just goes off
my wagon. Well, one of the things that
would be very helpful to honestly is trees not very keen
on parting with a lot of its fruits all the time.
But if you could get some for me, just be wary it it usually
leaves you no, not not not less you anger it.
The fruit taking is part of its being alive if you understand,
but it it does have something nothing.
What's the word? I'm looking so kind of like a a
you're going to you're not going to want to do anything once you
take take the fruit down. That's why it's helpful.
It, it's, it just, you know, chills you out for a while.
Ezra, you touch. It I understand but.
Ezra confused. Do I chop tree not chop tree?
Go go pick a fruit, Ezra. Go get it.
I want to see what happens. OK, Ezra goes.
If it's a fruit. Roll me a Constitution saving
throw. Ask this should be good. 19.
That is good. You see when he pulls it, a
bunch of what looks like halt and basically fall down from
from around different areas on the tree without any flowers
really being there and especially in the area where
Ezra plucked from. And you feel your eyes get a
little bit heavier, Ezra, but you're able to withstand it.
So it's airborne and you breathe it in.
It's a sleepy tree. Well, I don't breathe anymore,
that's why I'm wondering. Why don't you go investigate?
I hop up. All right, let's take a look.
I will attempt to pick one of the tree or one of the fruits
first. I stop in front of the tree and
I say hello, Mr. Tree and Primal.
I don't know if it understands me.
And then I get in common. My name is, frankly, the turtle.
I have a dot here to harb you merely to sample some of your
delicious fruit and ensure that its seeds are spread far across
the Galaxy so that you and your brood may grow strong.
And I try to pick a fruit. In what language?
I know primal and common. OK, so you you, you were saying
it in Primal, you said. Yeah, I think.
OK. There is no response, but the
the gnome leans over to Foust, who seems to be the most
sensible of the group so far, and he goes, is he all right?
Or was he like, you know, was was he using a different
language? It sounded like he was choking a
frog or something. I believe that one to be
profoundly damaged. All right, and go ahead and roll
me a Constitution save and throw.
Perfect. Don't worry, if you fail, I'll
slap you. Profoundly.
Damaged. Constitution Save +2 on saves.
So it should be this plus. I think that worked.
Yeah, +4 No, wait now. Yeah, 17.
Just trying to see if it was like built into the what was it?
17 you said? Yeah, your eyelids actually
closed for a second and you start to wobble before you shake
your shake yourself. Whoa, even considering I am
literally not alive, this thing works on you?
This is really powerful stuff. Ezra, you, you.
When your eyes wake back up, you can't see Ezra's hand, right?
Right to like, slap you. Would it be to try to identify
the tree if it's anything? Yeah, you can.
What do we need? Yep.
Franklin, you OK? Yeah, I'm off that.
Got a fruit? If you were to fall asleep, I
hit you. 100% sure as it's. Wow.
It's a little unfamiliar for to you, but it does send some sort
of when you're, how are you? How are you checking by the way,
if you don't mind me asking? I was going to begin by
observing, observing how it behaved when they plucked the
fruit, and just seeing if it decked out with anything I
already knew. With the spores and the and the
fruit and just looking at the leaves and everything like that,
it it's hard to say exactly the origins of this tree because
they don't match up with any ones that you know specifically.
Are those spores just kind of laying there?
Actually, as they come, Yep, that's what I was going to.
As they come down and lay on the individual, they seem to kind of
not sparkle, but is almost like a glitter effect and then they
disappear. OK.
They despawn. Cool.
What may pick more? I imagine that the objective is
for each of us to pick one, so he'll walk up and snag a fruit,
and I'm going to use the War mage's Arcane Deflection to give
myself a + 4. And I'm going to have my hand
prepared to slap. Holy fuck.
All right, so that. Is a plus.
Six though A7. A Natty 1.
Yeah. And gonna slap.
I'm going to slap him. I'm going to slap him.
That does not clear it. You feel your eyelids droop and
as you are taking hold of the fruit you start to fall over. 22
to slap him back into reality. Back to reality.
Don't kill the wizard with a slap.
I'm. Slapping you with my hand.
Well, no one, no one is is trying to save you from your
fall. So first and foremost.
Oh shit, I'll try to save him. I didn't know that he would like
climb the tree. Oh no, he just is like falling
over from standing up. You took so like from a standing
position, you fell straight over stiff as a board basically and
took like one damage from it, you know, as your head kind of
bounced off the ground a little bit.
Step back to reality, up the gold gravity.
Does does Ezra slapping back-to-back to awakeness?
Oh, you're you're slapping him too after he fell.
No, no, no, no. Before he fell I saw his eyes
closed, slap like so before he did the fall.
I was slapping him in the face, I mean.
You can certainly try. 22 just. The house is going to like wall
Ezra into a corner of the pocket rocket ask of Monte Dio style
and. This is where he lives now.
Montelato, whatever. Montelato whatever.
It's fucking called the fucking Post story.
Guess in the 22 hits. Yeah, I am a wizard.
Go ahead and roll damage there. Wizard's be wizarding.
Six with me. Hold on.
Wait. He's like.
Yeah, 6. Love to see it.
That's the one damage from actually falling on the ground.
You right. I'm.
At you're still be. Hello, Ezra Guy.
Ezra Guy stands over fast, OK? Last week and.
You slapped the shit out of him. I don't know if he's all right,
but. How else wake somebody up?
As you hit the. Ground here, I'll do it.
You're still stiff as as a board, but you could make the
save again, See? It all right con save.
That'll be a 23. Oh my.
Gosh, yeah, you poor baby. You hit the ground stiff as a
board, and you kind of rock back and forth as if like, you know,
because you're slightly bowed. You're not like a flat board,
obviously. And then, when you settle, you
shake yourself awake. It worked.
See Frank, I hold up a 0. You get.
Try again. You guys, you guys do here
behind you from the tree. Laughing at us.
Well files, what do you think? Do you think you're up for round
two or how's that feel? I am not a fan.
You heard a. Fruit to the gnome.
You heard A and the gnome goes oh thanks, that saves me quite a
few hours sometimes. Anyways, it's hard to say
exactly how it's going to affect each each time.
Franklin did that tree laugh at me.
No, I laughed at Faust. You're interrupting.
Let it finish this thing. I was done.
Sorry. Oh, we have 1-2.
We have two more of them. Wait. 2 total. 3 total, one
each. That looks like three.
I never. Learned math or went to school?
Yes. That's three of.
His nose. 3. Yeah.
That's that's free 3 dream fruit.
Hey, oh, dream fruit, what do they do?
Oh. They create pleasant dreams, so
that's one of the other reasons I had.
You drink some of that liquor from before there, pal.
Wait, you say you're going to have a dream tonight?
You'll have a good dream. Vivid.
Not going to wake up screaming. Vivid, colorful, fun and
sometimes prophetic. It's a big, teary expression on
his face. Thank you so much, Sir.
Turtle's a prophet now. Wonderful.
I have a religious prophet which.
Is the means. Of the prod of Freddy.
Sorry, what did you say there? What are the means of leaving?
What's the chamber, Sir? Yes, next floor.
Means of getting to the next chamber, you say?
Through the tree. Usually it doesn't quite like
it. Most of the time the people that
I've seen try to go through it though.
Do you know any tricks, tips. Yeah, most people don't usually
talk to me. They usually just come over for
a drink or two. Well, I guess.
Things we definitely should do. Spectacular fails from someone
else, I've actually. Do you like it here?
Yes, I quite enjoy my my, my, my lot, but I I don't see a lot of
options for most people. They end up getting just
frustrated and trying to cut their way through the tree.
That doesn't always end well. The tree does come back, so I
wouldn't be too opposed for you trying it.
But yeah, usually the tree has something to, well, not just say
about it, but do about you trying to cut it down.
Right. Yeah, it's up to.
That's like a entire life or talk to trees.
Hey, you guys speak to the animal or trees?
I talked to the tree earlier but I don't think it understood me.
Though the tree did laugh a moment ago, perhaps it might
find something amusing and we will let us through.
We orcs aren't known for our senses of humor, so perhaps you
should just say something, maybe the first thing that comes to
your mind that they will find it amusing.
I think that people should get turned into manual labor zombies
when they die. Perhaps not.
Perhaps that was a fool. Oh, there's a huge.
Sorry I slap somebody. There's a huge.
An idiot likes to slap. Yeah, like when I slapped at me.
That's. Yeah, maybe you just slap me.
I regenerate. If you don't come up with a plan
soon, I'm going to light it on fire.
True. OK wait, what does it do when I
get slapped? I got.
I got to roll the slap for you. What?
The hell. Is there a clear 28 to slap you?
You'll hurt me. A clear what?
Doorway like a clear way to the other side that we have to go
through the tree, but like there's no like view or
anything. No, there's no view.
It's largely just branches in the in the like that you can see
maybe the first step, but that's about it.
So like. Franklin 6 damage from slapping
you. I don't know if an 18 hits or
wait no, what did you roll 28? 28 hits.
So they have attempted to cut through the tree.
I can assume it will return if it is destroyed.
Yeah, it must come back. It roots must be a lot deeper.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I've experienced.
It takes a bit. And usually if I just, you know,
take some of the berries, I can take some of the seeds and
replant it myself. I wouldn't be too, too worried
about that factor. Yeah.
I'd just be more worried about your health because it it does
tend to get aggressive. Yeah.
OK, we can't die. Did it laugh when I slept,
Franklin? Oh, oh, this time, no, you don't
hear any laughter or anything. Maybe I maybe I need to slap
Faust again. Probably not.
He's a weak little wizard. I think Faust is right.
We don't have, we're not equipped to speak to it, to try
to convince it to let us pass. So we need a good use brute
force. Excuse me, Tree, You wouldn't
happen to speak Common, would you?
Good point. There's a lot resounding silence
for a while, and then the slowest almost.
You're not sure, though. It kind of sounds like the
grating of two branches and the rustle of wind, but in that wind
you can hear. Not as dumb as you, of course I
can. Oh my God, trees can see.
Did he say Ezra? Tom.
In Infernal, Faust is going to just curse.
Perhaps we can make a bargain we would like to pass.
There's not much you can give me the whispering of the branches.
They then. I have everything I need and.
Then perhaps we can make a. Trade give you a legacy.
I'll make a trade of a lack of inconvenience.
Us trying to go well let me rephrase it.
Us going through is something we are going to attempt to do
regardless. I don't say this as an as a
threat, I say this as a matter of fact.
We would prefer to not do this with violence.
I hold up a hand and just place it over Ezra's mouth.
OK, so. Persuasion.
Not my strong suit I am much better at.
Actually, I suck at all social stats.
All right, let's do this. I'm very good at that.
Oh, thanks, I'm very good at that, but I ramble an eighth I.
Am not going. To 8.
Oust is untrained in social things.
He has a +2 to charisma. Oust is a smart man.
He is not a social man. The tree is you can kind of
sense is gauging the situation almost it it's not looking you
up and down, but you would imagine if it had eyes, that's
what it would be doing. And it goes.
If there's anything else that I had wanted, it would be the
entertainment to watching you try.
Ezra wants to intimidate. I'm going to cast Wall of Fire
over it. Over.
Over it? Yeah, just straight line through
the tree. And are you guys in the
positions you're in because that's going to initiate
initiative? Yes it would.
I. Suppose that's where I was.
OK, Ezra. Ezra going to put himself as
close to the tree so he can get some really hard.
Oh fuck. Tan, tan, tan, tan, tan, tan,
tan, tan, tan, tan OH. I didn't mean to do that.
Ezra ready to party? I suppose I did mean to do that,
I just did not expect it to roll as soon as I hit cast.
I was expecting. To spin the spell slot, yes.
Do I need to be making any saves for that it?
Is a Dexterity save DC-16? It's a plant.
Against a tree that can't move, yeah.
Nice. I am not.
Going to get gay. I am not going to gamble that
the tree can't move. I was about to say no one said
that I couldn't move. This is very true all.
Right, Dave, and run. OK.
Said Dexterity. Oh yeah, it's not very
dexterous, although it rolled really well, so 18.
That'll be a pass for half here. Where is the spell?
And I'm going to draw the line. So here I can make it 20 feet.
It's 20 feet high, one foot thick and.
Let's do a big spiral. You know I can do AI can do a
circle it looks like. No, I'm going to make a straight
line. Did I get everyone's initiatives
by the way? Actually.
No. Oh, let me throw mine down.
Yeah, I'm just going to draw a 20 foot circle around the tree.
Oh, initiative. Bump, bump, bump.
Yeah, I got to get one more time 1 yes, me one.
Nice. 18 Me Ezra gonna punch and flush.
Do die, do die. Ezra gonna hacking slash.
And both, Sir. That's not entirely accurate.
One second. So I get to add my intelligence
and my decks and my I guess that is, oh, it's added to my
initiative. So that would be a 15 + 8 a 23.
Another initiative Fiend. Yeah, War Wizard gets to add
their int mod. Yep.
OK, that would put you at the top of the order and, and after
you just done that kind of sneak attack, getting the, you know,
the first first round basically too.
It wouldn't have been a full sneak attack though.
So I I wouldn't say that you guys get a a round to yourselves
'cause it was kind of expecting. OK, so how do I draw like or do
you handle that? You can draw.
I was going to get in there too myself.
Had to refresh my screen. But there is there should be a
little brush. Yeah, I see it.
So there's I can draw a 20 foot circle.
So I'm just going to like, you know, around it and if it's
within 5 feet of it, it burns everything within 5 feet of it.
Is that I believe so 20 foot diameter.
I'm double checking. If it's a wall of fire, you draw
the shape, so he's basically just drawing an outline of a
circle. I understand I was just he he'd
said it's a 20 foot and I it says.
That I can make it into a 20 foot in diameter circle or a. 20
diameter. Or a 60 foot long wall.
OK. So diameter is what you're going
for. Gotcha.
So yeah, it's the 20 foot diameter.
Yeah, it looks like it fits in there so nice.
And it's within 10 feet. Yeah, it it definitely.
Yeah, within 10 feet. Do you want to roll that damage?
Roll that beautiful pain footage. 5D8 24.
Nice. Oh, half though, right?
So I think it has to make the save again.
So we'll build deals 5G8 fire damage to each creature that in
turn within 10 feet of that side or inside the wall.
A creature takes the same damage when it enters the wall for the
first time on a turn or ends it's turn there.
The other side of the wall deals no damage.
So the out so the inside the side I'm picking obviously yeah,
it only does the dexterity save on the when the wall appears
roll. There is no roll tied to it
being near the wall. So it.
Just does cool. Damage.
And so the Dexterity saving throw.
When the. Wall appears.
Each creature within its area must make a Dexterity saving
throw. On a failed save, a creature
takes 5G8 fire damage or half as much on.
OK, so so you need to roll again damage.
Yeah, I did. Oh, you didn't take damage for
the first one? Yeah.
What was the first one? It was 19, so half of that.
So 9. So he's taking a total of 3534 /
33 damage. I can do math from the.
Wall so as you do such too, you can see from the successful
Dexterity saving there, I guess you burn away most of its
branches that were branching out into the space across to that
line of the 20 foot. And it stays inside of the
stairwell for the most part and kind of shifts its center mass
just, you know, slightly back to to make it centered inside the
wall on that point. So it's not it's trunk and
everything is still within 10 feet of the wall, but it's
center point is not. Just don't want to move.
And you hear a a wailing from inside the wall.
How high is it by the way? It can go up to 20 feet.
Yeah, it's to the ceiling then. All right, so.
And that was just your surprise. First, yeah, that was my first
round and I want to maintain concentration on that while.
I wonder if you can constrict it make the walls smaller.
That's my no, I can't, but I don't.
I mean, is there a zone within a 20 foot diameter circle that
isn't 10 feet away from it? No.
Yeah. All points of it would be within
10 feet. Right.
Unless its trunk is like infinitesimally small, and then
you're talking about quantum physics and.
And at that point, yeah, but we'll just.
Keep. Up the fire party.
I I want to cast fireball. Standard wizard fare.
Let's go Dexterity saving throw DC-16.
Against this tree, do it. Does not Ezra need to also make
this Dexterity saving throw? Yes, he will.
Danger sense. Don't believe there's anywhere
in here that I could reasonably throw a fireball that wouldn't
hit him at this moment. As.
Ezra is. I'm not trying to destroy this
man's workshop. Ezra is is a plain boy, so do
not worry I. I it did not make the save well.
28 damage. And is there any some reason I
was remembering there was like farther than the 20 foot range
or something to like even thinking of Like the fact that
if you're in a small enough area it'll combust.
But the the stairwell itself seems to be made of stone, so
you're throwing it into it more or less, and it seems to charge
the wall. 28 You said it's going back and forth between screens.
OK, you you see it Char and scream even higher pitched.
Good job. Did say it wanted to be amused.
So. Who's laughing now?
We. Are OK, so I failed, so I'm
going to take I would take full, but I'm totem, so I'll take half
and I have A and I have a ring. If I was just so I'll take half
of the half. Let's go.
I don't think that that that resistance is stack, but that's
up to. The what was the first
resistance from? So I get resistance as a totem
for totem and then I have the ring that's also on me.
Unless you say my. Resistance doesn't stack, but
damage reduction does. So what is your totem
specifically say? I am resistant to fire damage.
OK. And the the ring itself is just
resistance to fire, not as a whole.
Internet says it does not stack. Yeah, but usually it wouldn't, I
would, I would say either you've got you've got the yeah, I I
wouldn't say that it would stack because it's it's yeah.
He's not the not the the way that you're thinking.
There's only the E. But if you're raging you would
take half damage, which I think is a totem barbarian thing.
Holy shit, you're I just seen your total health too.
You don't have to worry about it, Ezra.
Don't worry. You can take full damage and you
wouldn't care. What's your house?
I don't think I've seen anybody at 196 yet, Ezra, big boy.
I'm in the triple digits, but I'm not 196 Beck.
I have 44 you 2 staying in front.
You're doing. You're doing better than some of
the other more leveled a point, but yeah, so just the half
damage for now, which is. Half OK, less. 14 but and if
you're done with your term then both asura it is Ezra's turn.
Yep. I am finished.
With Franklin on deck. That was Ezra next.
It's it's Ezra's turn with Franklin on deck.
Sorry on deck? Never mind.
Sorry, and there's a punch it. Alright, let's see here.
I'm going up. I'm going to hit it with my fire
rack, make fire damage happen. Sad Ezra Noises 13.
You hit a charred branch, but doesn't seem to hit to center
mass. It does not connect.
Sadness. Extra Attack. 20 that'll do it.
Happy Ezra noises. 14 damage, can't let me pull up this thing.
Make sure they don't need anything else on it. 14 flashing
and then I gotta roll and it takes 6 fire damage.
Go along with that 20. Let's see, I'm already raging.
I'm already shifted. Can I?
Can I use my bonus action to attempt to hit him again at
disadvantage? Your bonus action to attempt to
hit him again. At disadvantage, I'll take
disadvantage on that. You don't have something that,
well, you did. You did the secondary attack
already too. Yeah, or.
Why not? Wait.
And the other one 10. Also does not hit you hit some
more charred branches. And that is it.
Forever. He has nothing left in that
round. When you when you did make the
strike, though, it connected with the trunk that time the the
the middle strike and flames shot from the edge of your axe
up the up the side of the trunk and and it and the bellowing
scream of the tree continues with Franklin turn.
Now it's Franklin's turn music. The tree is.
Looking at this tree. Pretty rugged.
Yeah, Franklin kind of like crosses his arms and looks
between the two of them. I don't really have any fire but
I think I could and then I will cast hacks.
So I'll take out my black book and then whisper unholy words as
I attempt to cast hacks on this tree creature which will be
displayed. Now the place a curse on it I.
To the spell ends, you deal in extra D6 the target.
Necrotic damage. Yeah.
And I choose Dexterity as a ability that will have a
disadvantage on. Oh, wait, that's ability checks
though, not savings Rose. So that's worse.
Gross. OK, nevermind.
On ability checks. That's good.
Make it strength. Make it strength.
OK, I'll do strength then. As they're just figured an idea.
Oh nod and figure gods you. It's like OK, it's got
disadvantage of strength checks, whatever that is with a nose
blade. OK, that was your action.
So then I guess for or was it a bonus?
Bonus action? I will.
Gosh. Yeah, that was your bonus
auction. I apologize.
You didn't even do an election. Oh yeah, 'cause that's hacks.
Gosh, I guess with my action then I'll take two swipes at it
with with my Mace. You're going to move up within
breaking range. Quarter staff?
Oh yeah, that's too far away. No, then I'll just blast it.
Blast. Pew Pew Pew.
So at level 15 I get 3 beams. 1. Nope, that's not the Attack
Attack. So 18 to hit, that'll hit, 15 to
hit, and 24 to hit. That's two of them striking.
I already rolled 1D1 damage dice at 3:00, so I'll do the second
one with four dealing 4567 points of damage.
That's all forced damage, right? If I remember correctly.
Yeah, OK. No, they do additional product.
Damage because of the hex. They do, yes.
Good call. They each one D6.
Each. What is that?
How is that worded? You until the spill ends, you
deal 1D6 necrotic damage to the target whenever you hit.
Yep. Sexy SO2D6 so seven additional
so 456714 points of damage, 2G6 being necrotic and I think
that's my turn. Just so you guys know, you guys
are within my, if you guys are within my aura, you get +2 to
saves. I think I have.
You can keep going. I'm going to look at this a
second. OK, Yeah. +2 of you saves and
you can't be frightened. 24 to hit you, Ezra being in front and
25 to hit a 24 and a 25. Those hit me with a total of 39
bludgeoning damage and we will say as the flames are spread
quite across the tree, turning some of your damage back with
seven fire damage as it starts to spread to you and the floor
around you. 39 cut half is there are some.
Larger branches coming down to to, they said. 20 might be you.
Yeah, yeah, 2020 and half 70, but yeah, I understand.
He just grins at him. I'm just looking at him.
You're fun. I play with you now.
Yeah, 40. So yeah, that was a total of.
Bam bam bam. It has a total of of 40, 46 that
you took and Ezra's just grinning and the trees groaning
under the mouth. I need to get.
More because the 46 turned to 23 to him.
It's like you're funny. And the trees groaning under the
pressure. It was.
Don't worry, if I die here, you still have to chop through me.
Oh, please. Yes.
And then it is your turn, Faust. Maintain concentration on the
firewall. We're also going to expend one
of my power surges to add an additional hold on an additional
3 damage. I don't remember how that number
is calculated. So doop doop doop doop fires
wall. So 27 damage with the plus.
Dang it, I always forget to do that.
That's just a concentration. Nice 27.
So yeah, 27. Then I'm going, I was just going
to say, how do you want to kill this thing?
I was just going to stand there as the thing burns alive inside
of the fring of fire and just the light reflecting in the
lenses of his glasses. He's just, he literally just had
to keep thinking about the spell to kill the thing.
So that's just what he's doing. And the screams of the tree die
out as it still stands in a charred husk of what it was.
Ezra's going to rip it out. Ezra's going to rip it out from
the ground. Just.
I was going to say I'm. Going to maintain the spell
until it's reduced completely to ash and was and it's nothing
else. You guys would be there for
quite some time. It would probably go on for past
the, you know, after the screaming.
Still probably probably a good solid 88 hours, maybe 10.
I'm a hell of a trick thing is the thing.
The thing is Greenwood, when you're talking about ripping it
out, The thing is like probably a 5 foot in diameter tree or no,
it's going to be even more right because it's what is this
stairwell here? Five.
Yeah, it's like 15 foot in diameter tree.
I will release the spell and allow Ezra to do that while I
use my arcane recovery fee to get back and forth level spell
but. It has disadvantage against
athletics because it's a strength related skill.
It's dead. Excellent.
Even better. Good.
No, no rolls against it. Even rolling low 16 to start
ripping it out of the ground. Picking up the fruit from the
burnt out limbs from the wall of fire.
You would have to for the fruit roll a be investigation based,
but if you wanted to find. The fruit.
Yeah, it's to see if it even is there.
Sure. Amongst the charred remains.
And you for Ezra, you said you wrote a 16 to try and uproot
this thing. Yeah.
Oh, he don't get it on round one.
He's going again. I was going to say it does not
budget. You get ash and char all up in
your fur across yourself but it it does not budget.
Angry Ezra noises. Oh, there we go, 27.
You crush the outside charred layers of the tree, and the
inner parts of it still seem to be somehow whole.
As you're trying to rip, you realize that it, it's solid.
The first like maybe 4 inches is what you.
You're crushed your way through with the charred bits to the
center where it's only just slightly burned.
And they're still. So there's still a good, you
know, 20 feet of wood or no, sorry, I went backwards.
It went, I meant to go there's yeah, there's still like a good
13 foot of wood crossed that you're trying to lift straight
up. Not, not.
That's just the diameter of the trunk, not the you're talking
like this thing stands almost basically to the ceiling of like
20 feet and is like 13 foot across.
Sad and your noise is. It looks like maybe Baltazar
now, because I remember correctly that he's a slimmer
than usual orc. Might be able to slip by The
tree is drunk and and everything but.
I mean, I have. I'll pop up at that point.
That's all we need, folks. Why don't you guys pop into the
pocket rocket? I'll head this to one of my
bugs. The bugs will squeeze through
the hole well pop out on the other side.
You go to reach for the pocket rocket.
It is not there. Son of a bitch.
All right, what if I have my swarm start to?
17 to help chop it. Chewing.
Yeah. Let's roll this to see how many
made it over with you just for and gigs.
Chew and chop it down. Wow.
I always have at least my core familiar, which is just like a
standard swarm. Rolled exactly a 90 is how many
bugs made it over and with 90 you'd probably you could you you
probably call them all to work, I would guess and they'd start
chewing. But they're they're looking at
about as you're kind of trying to keep track of time harder to
say, but they're they're making, they're making slow but steady
progress through the through the trunk probably like.
And you're strange. Ezra's helping him with the
chocolate, with his axe. Can your strange bug form pass
through little Franklin? Probably that's what I was
saying before, if we had a way to get into the Lego like you.
Pass on through, I will get our burly fellow here through.
Well I can't pat well I have misty steps so I could do that.
But like the swarm is separate for BI, see.
I was not aware that is almost as disturbing as you being
entirely made out of insects. Well, they're here actually.
Fun fact, since I finished reading my book recently, I look
like a a living portal right now, but I'll like shake myself
and all of my flesh is not flesh.
It's billions of bugs all smushed together approximating
flesh. And they take flight around me
as I activate my cloak of flies warlock ability.
And underneath Franklin is just a pristine white skeleton of a
turtle or turtle now. So they are part of me
technically. With me saying that, that is
profoundly, I'm going to thunderous step and take me and
Ezra to the other side. Sweet oh misty step.
If it's far enough, 30 feet, right?
30 feet. What misty step do?
I believe it's also 30 feet. God, I hope you did that when I
struck down my axe. So you guys get basically right
up to the edge of the trunk and you can see past it up some
stairs that are revealed more so now that most of the branches
are on the ground or. Yes, return to boss.
Not there. Did that spell like do a huge
Thunder clap where we left it? Did.
That poor guy. He'll be all right.
As I said, you can't die here, right?
That's true. He probably just could be hard.
Hearing I think that's a great place to all this.
This one good, you guys made it through another another one all.
Right. Are you guys ready to head back?
We're going further. No that tonight.
I was going to say you could make that decision next time you
guys play. I mean, if you.
Want. I mean, it'll entirely depend
again on who's. All.
Year, right, Yeah, right. So if we end it now, So really
the choice is if you, if we leave, leave technically before
the end of the session, we'll probably get something.
But if we stay, we'll get a better something next time.
Do I do like better somethings? Right now I've got 2 levels
under me. Right now, you guys will have
one better like tallied up. I turn to I.
I turn to the air. Hey, Ishabel.
Oh yeah, he can't talk to a shit.
Wait. I pull up my business card.
That's right. I text Rorl and I have Rorl text
Ishmael because he gave Ishmael a card.
Right. And I say, hey Ishmael, how many
levels do I have to do to get like an item of like anti fear
of unity or like vulnerability? Remove fear you get back.
No, God, this is telephone, I swear to God.
The ability to remove someone's immunity to fear.
Find their mother. Thanks, that's a good idea.
We're going to find God's mom. I know exactly where she lives
in Ohio. And then the camera pans out.
Where is Ohio? Oh, I.
Get it? Oh squid.
Oh. These are you guys know you guys
don't know. I walk up and grab you by the
face. Get.
Along very well. You guys don't know.
Oh my God. So I don't know if you're going
to be there. You know, you know.
I know I pull out like the business card and pull up the
correspondence between me, myself, and I about when
Eurythmic Veracity is going to be on November 3rd or the week
out of November 3rd. There's going to be a gathering
of sorts. The stars will lie, that
something crazy will happen and if you go then you'll know.
You'll know. And I have a full double
Nosebleed done of this is real. We're all just thick bits of
someone else's imagination and we need to get revenge on them.
OK, bye. Yeah, I know.
Me and me and Jacob still got to figure out his schedule.
I'll talk it out with Meg I my availability is now much more
open on that regard. That's good.
Glad that things have worked out or or less hectic or.
No, it's not worth getting into. Yeah, I yeah, Hang in there,
good buddy. I'll see you all next week.
Sounds good yo. I'll talk to you later.
Jacob later, yo. Naive.
Take it easy, Josh. I'll see you, Rick.
See you a. Grand and wonderful.
Thank you for those who took the time and made it here to the end
of the episode where I know sometimes we are long winded and
others we are just dead silent. I don't know what to.
Tell you this is. Raw here folks, Please remember
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