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Now let's dive right back into Tara through the campaign.
Many polos. I fucking Craig.
Craig. I said so, and I don't think
you've got to appreciate them do intro here yet, Mommy, but here
goes. And I've been out the Hand of
Fate tosses. The die rolls, spins, turns, and
the campaign starts and ends, leaving memories that become
stories. Stories flow out into the
infinite sea, painting it with legends.
Legends wash up on the shores throughout the infinite sea,
fading to myth until myths are forgotten and the campaign that
gave it birth comes again and again.
The Hand of Fate tosses the Dole, dice rolls, Finn's turns,
the other two. We left the Shadow Seekers in
the Ale House on the 5th level of Hell, betting with their fast
becoming friend Zach, except Mama and Faulkner who were
hauled away downriver by giant crocodiles.
The rest of the party, while whilst this was happening,
managed to connect with which Sasarilla, The second which they
met in Hell decides Malficium, who seems to hate everyone and
everything. Cesarilla, however, was much
kinder. Heading back to the ale House,
they concocted a plan with a new the new friend Zach to get all
of the keys together at the Acropolis.
Zach went back to Cesarilla while Ash pretended to be
Cesarilla to meet Malficium with Griselda as backup.
They promised to help all of them out of this level of hell
by meeting at the Acropolis in a day.
Zach managed the same with Cesarilla.
Now the Rum Rollers key, Cesarillas key, and both
Maleficiums Keys would be in one place, the Acropolis to kill
time until the next day. Games of betting ensued with
Vomayra the victor. I think she was.
I had a question mark next to that.
Yeah, she was. Let's find out what happens this
time. So that's exactly where we left
off. And I was going to start with
Mom A here, so it gives some folks some more time to get in
and situated perhaps. But Mom A, You're waking up with
like a healing mango, basically mostly dissolved but slightly
lodged in your throat. No, no, no.
While you see that two crocodiles had you're covered in
blood, you're assuming they must have eaten the majority of you
before turning to what was left of your deciding that you
weren't delicious enough because you were.
You're laying in a pool of your own blood, fully healed, but
looking over your shoulder and coughing on the mango or part of
the mango's pit, I guess, and see Faulkner just eviscerated
beyond recognition. Besides the fact that you see
his green feathers strewn everywhere and maybe one wing
left on the shore, while the Crocs are happily chomping away
on the on the shore just behind you, you're on the opposite
shore of them. Ah, all right.
So I'm gonna see this. So am I.
I know I'm laying in a pool of my own blood, but I guess I'm
wet. How many crocodiles are there?
There are. You look over your other
shoulder and you see at least four more that are just kind of
sunbathing downstream from you. But there are easily three kind
of fighting over the remnants of Faulkner.
All right, well, I think the first thing I should do this is
gonna be terrible, because I'm gonna have a hell of a time
getting these stains out is I'm gonna pull out cloak of doing
the sneak. OK.
And try to. Ooh, I have a whistle.
I can summon the bunaga shadow puppies.
Kind of tempted to use that, but I'm gonna try to throw on the
cloak of doing the sneak and slowly and quietly give myself
distance between me and these crocodiles.
The most direct route away it seems to be towards the West
through some brush and and roll me a stealth with advantage
since you're invisible. Elfy.
Stealthy, stealthy elf. All the hood is up.
Checks made to hide. Yeah, yeah.
Boom 17. Very nice.
You make it through the Bush. The Crocs do seem to hear you as
you're as it is not a small amount of brush that's in your
way. You have to brush it a good bit
of side, but they don't see anything in the path.
You're able to keep the cloak around you at all times while
you're doing so. Cool.
How sturdy does this log seem? Can I walk across it It seems
fairly sturdy. It's it's spanning the the
stream and a a good maybe 5 feet above it from the bottom of the
log and it's it's you're kind of stepping on it.
It's not mushy so there's that. Most other things in the swamp
are so and the there is yeah you see Eton across the way.
It looks like fishing and some more brush on the other side of
the log to the north. Yeah, I feel like I don't want
to fuck with these guys. I recall that did not end super
well last time, although there is.
Wait, so is all this brush or is all this clear?
This where you would just so the South.
Yeah, West. Yeah, that's clear.
That's that's muddy swamp clear, though.
Yeah, but just looks like there's more water over there.
I feel like I want to go. I have no idea where I am.
Oh, so I need to get out of earshot.
That's I want to to try to communicate to people with my
torque, but I need to get out of earshot from these fucking
things. So I'm gonna, I guess, dance it
and try to walk across this this flog.
Here I think it seems to go, I would say, well, you're not
drawing the attention of the crocodiles or anything from that
van to death, you're. There's something blocking my
way. You're in a very thick thicket
of brush at that point though, to see to the point where you
can barely tell what direction is what.
That's fine. I'm just gonna truck on as far.
So I wanna get like out of earshot of the crocodiles and
when that happens I will utilize my torque.
I don't know if I have to, like, keep going, probably about
there. You're quite certain the brush
will deaden any low speaking as long as you're not yelling.
Cool. So I'm gonna I forget I don't
tap the torque, but I need to do something cuz if you is it
flicking it? Is it this campaign where I
flick it and it teleports me? I don't know.
Look around and find out. I'm gonna, like whisper down on
the torque and be like, hello, does anybody does anybody hear
me? And it comes through everyone's
torques except flints. I'm gonna call out and be like I
do hear you. Where are you?
Be like I don't know, but our friends fucked up they are.
I am alone. We tried to rescue you.
I even sent Bob to look for you and he couldn't find you.
Am I intoxicated at this point? Cuz we were drinking, weren't
we? We were all drinking.
You were but all buzzed. But nobody was drunk.
OK, I don't Drake too young. You get milk.
Only milk. I do get milk drunk.
Yeah, that's absolutely accurate.
And I get handsy tickles. We are back at the end.
Are you still in the swamp? I am in the swamp somewhere.
I'm glad you guys are at the end.
I am somewhere, there's there's there's enton, there's
crocodiles. So the last time you saw me,
what direction was I being carried?
Like? I don't even know which
direction to head North SE West. I think you were being carried S
from us. OK, so I should head north.
Yeah. Because we went to cesserility.
That's true. Was that the 2nd?
We were in the eastern portion. The, the eastern part, the
eastern witch, Yeah. And I think they got dragged
planned South. OK.
Yeah, I'm gonna head north. Then you you, you muscle your
way through the rest of the brush and you happen upon a
cabin that's got a bridge leading up to almost the
doorstop. It seems like that you recognize
the the the bridge that you and you see a good bit of blood and
a half eaten frog behemoth corpse.
That corpse that looks like it's been skinned.
Gotcha. Not letting me move.
There we go. Wait, where the hell is this
bridge here? Cuz technically it's wooden, but
for the purposes of the map, that's what this is.
The bridge, I was talking. About OK, wait, were there etton
last time we were on this bridge guys.
Not Etton, just a giant frog. Is that now?
The stone pathway there was Etton.
Were they friendly? We didn't really talk to them.
We just kind of skidaddled past. K Well, I'm invisible so I'm
just gonna assume I can scoot out of past.
Rocking past Oh yeah, they have that weird little lion that the
the giant guys wanted me to cross.
So they eat me so that. Yeah, that's outside the the the
what is it that's outside the end we're safe in here and I
guess within a certain perimeter.
So she must be a danger that. So yeah, you gotta move, move
quietly. Wow, this is familiar stealth as
you walk past the Eton, and as you did so too.
You heard them just kind of grumbling to each other.
I'm tired of fish. Well, it's too damn bad, says
the other one. That's all we got.
The crocodiles were pretty tasty when they float by here, but
they haven't been back up since we ate a handful of them.
They're learning. Is Warren.
Also. At the end.
Is who Warren? Yeah, he was getting drunk with
Flint, who is still watching a baby while intoxicated.
I forgot. You're drunk, I show you.
How far I could throw this baby? Don't throw my baby.
I thought you were going to see that.
That you're gonna get to the get to a point where maybe you guys
were all throwing up and you could see who throws up farther.
One of the two heads of the baby.
No Warren, I have. Been told IRL that I puke like a
champ. Champion for vomiting.
Great, really. Proud.
That's your resume. Like, I'll hold my own hair.
I'll move my beard out of the way.
Yeah, I'm a professional vomiter, apparently.
Makes you sound like an alcoholic.
Ah, no. Only my family.
Like takes that like camera pose where you like lean way back and
in. Because then you gotta like
shoot your body forward to get that momentum before it comes
out. And and of course this only
comes with practice and praying to the porcelain gods.
Of course. Yeah, so.
My character for you right there.
Eldridge. Blast well a three and a four.
Yeah, I got a four, so I'm fucked.
The Eton that was closest to you as you walked by goes.
The hell was that and tries to swing down.
Go ahead and roll a Dexterity save and throw for me.
Hey, 16, Yes, that's when I was back here.
Here he is guessing a 19, beat that 16
there. So you you're going to take 16
piercing damage, but you're going to have to roll me a
performance or describe to me in a in a manner of whether or not
they noticed you or not, if you're trying to still stealth
out of that, or if you're just gonna scream in pain and fuck.
Ohh no no no no. Mommy's gonna like, I don't know
do something to not. So they I took 16 damage.
OK, so did they stab like my thigh or my arm?
Or do they notice that they've stabbed me or that's what I'm
that's what I'm asking, how you're responding to the strike,
I guess it physically and that's why I suggested a performance
role. OK, so yeah, I'm gonna try to
stay hidden, but they're gonna feel that whatever they're
they're striking with hits me. Unless they're just rolled up,
this is not my night. You I would guess.
Seeing it come down to strike almost exactly on your position
as you were thinking that it was, there was no way in heck
that it was going to hit you. You hadn't moved at first, but
you just take 1/2 step back and put your arms up as the
Morningstar club. Just a giant trunk it looks like
of a tree with a couple metal pieces stabbed through.
It comes down on you and the the metal pieces are what Pierce
your arm. Besides the bludgeoning that you
can feel on your forearms. That doesn't really do too much
and and it stops while you're kind of holding it right there.
They're about two twice your size.
But the swing was only lackadaisical.
It wasn't with their full force you can tell because they
stopped right as they hit you. And midair goes, What in the
hell? So I'm gonna run, OK?
My movement speed is 40. I don't know what theirs is, but
I'm gonna assume that I can move real fast and I'm just gonna,
like carry their things. I'm just gonna just, like, float
away. I'm hoping it's just gonna Bob
and they're gonna, I'm like, fingers crossed hoping because I
didn't make any sound. Fingers crossed hoping they
think it's a ghost. Hello.
Yeah, I was, I I heard all that. I was waiting for you to move
the character, I guess, because I didn't know which direction.
But you can move away at this time, I would say, because
they're stunned. They just hit something in
midair that it looked like to them and they seen blood, like
away. And then a bloody specter
floating away. It looked like to them as
droplets. Will fall away and they're just
kind of staring after it. Like what?
Did you see that I? Was I'm gonna, I'm gonna whisper
back, eat more crocodile and just beat feet and get out of
there and head head directly towards the end where you were
heading in the 1st place, I guess.
Yeah, and like as soon as I get past these, past the.
The path like in a semi safe distance.
I'm gonna use my other arm still covered or in the cloak so it
doesn't peek out and I'm gonna like dislodge the weapon and
like throw it. I I I would have assumed they
retracted. It is what I was guessing.
Oh, OK, OK, gotcha. They were just stunned that it
had stopped in the first place. Gotcha.
OK, yeah. No.
Cool. I'm a ghost spoopy.
All right, so I've successfully evaded combat on the ceiling,
yes? Good shit.
OK, as quickly as possible, keep going north.
Oh, hey, look, I've seen this before.
Go this way around the carriage and go into the inn.
Waving at the giant piles of dead corpses and the things that
eat them. Not going anywhere near that
shit. You do see, it looks like a
little bit more animated figures over there than you remember.
But yeah, that's fine. I don't need anything.
I don't know what's animated. This is hell.
Who knows? All right.
Inside, I'm gonna walk right up to, I suppose, the bar and ask
for the tallest drink they have. And it floats there for a
second, as if trying to do long division math with the face
that's you got one of its eyes starting to float off to the
left side, that goes to the figure behind the bar, and then
it it redirects its face and it. So that's.
Two eyes and a mouth and floats up a glass that is as tall as
you would actually just like a foot below.
The rafters and all the other dwarves are kind of confused
because they've never seen around it.
They're all going, what the hell, what are they getting?
And you see one of the tendrils float all the way up to the top
of the glass and pour into it this.
Clear liquid and that fills up the bottom.
Then another tendril goes in and pours up another layer of
progressively darker liquid. And until there's like this
rainbow of color inside of this tall glass ooh World's Most
Complicated Black and Tan, I'm gonna look at them and just just
be as appreciative as I can. Just give them like a salute.
The glass is about 6 foot tall. That's great.
I he's 7 feet tall, so I'm just tall enough to like, drinking.
This is gonna be interesting, but I'm just tall enough to,
like, get my head. Really.
Big straw. I do need a straw.
That loops around your eyes like, whoo, I'll go over and be
like sounds like someone's drunk.
Been dwinking for two weeks now. Two weeks I'm gonna say here.
Are there any handles on this glass?
No, just a perfect cylinder. Awesome cylinder.
Awesome. I'm gonna at least take it off
the bar, put it on the ground, and then I'm gonna, like, put my
mouth next to it and step backwards to tilt it.
And I'm gonna drink as much as I can in one drink, one breath.
Go ahead and roll me a constitution with disadvantage,
since you're basically chugging it, I would say.
The thing is, is at least a six foot in diameter or 6 foot,
sorry, 6 inches in diameter. So it's it's a veritable couple
gallons of liquid there. Perfect.
I got a 7. You are and the IT just going to
the conditions. You are hipsy already.
Actually probably buzz depending upon how much have you got under
Just roll me a flat D20 just cuz trying to trying.
To OOH A Natural 20. I don't know if that was the
time to get it because you finished the drink.
Go ahead and roll me Four more Constitution Roles 4.
This is wrong. Staring off.
I gotta catch up if you guys have been going for two weeks.
Got some alcohol to drink? Franklin's on the ground, kind
of like half dozing, surrounded by empty milk cartons, most of
them depicting pictures of like, missing people, one of them Ham.
Milk cartons from the mortal realm.
Funny that. Was good.
That guy looks familiar. You are currently.
Looks like Oh no, no, yeah you are currently blackout.
You will have no memory of the events going forward.
Perfect. After she after they finish this
drink, I'm gonna walk over and be like, So what happened?
Where were you? We we couldn't stop the Crocs
from taking you. How'd you fight them off, you
bastards? I wanted to rastle Gators.
Well, let me tell you, there were too many.
Many. My dream.
My dream of some crocodile leather boots gone forever.
You, my companions, will help me achieve this dream.
But not on this day. Probably not tomorrow either.
For now, we drink, yeah. I'm surprised she didn't like,
walk over to Bob because he's a crocodile.
Bob is the only one that seems mostly sober, but is chewing on
either a column or actually probably one of the columns of
the establishment, actually. Oh yeah, I'm gonna turn around
and be like, oh, Bob, I forgot. Would you like a drink?
I'm just gonna order a drink and then I'll just dump the whole
drink into the croc's mouth and. What do you think?
Order the drink just out of curiosity.
What do I say for the drink? Yeah.
He likes what did he like? Blood wine.
Yaks. Fermented yaks.
Blood. I need your tallest.
I'm not gonna say that. I'm gonna.
I need a glass of your of the. Fermented yaks Blood a a tendril
of the ghost floats over and fills up one of the tankards
that seems to be frothing over with a deep, dark maroon blood
color. I'm gonna thank the ghost and
I'm gonna grab it. Is it smelly?
Oh yes, it's it's it's as if the one step away from being that
sickly, death sweet smell. Or he'll love it.
Then Crocs probably love that, right?
And I'm just gonna wander over to Bob and be like, can you go,
Bob, open up. And he just unhinges his well,
He doesn't really have to. He just opens his mouth and.
Yeah, wrong creature and I just. I'm just gonna dump it down his
throat. And you're pouring it on because
he's got his head tilted back right onto his tongue and you
hear this, that happy singing song of his gurgles as he's
drinking the whole thing. This seems like your.
Constitution saving care. He does.
We lost somebody else. Whenever Bob is done drinking,
Mama is gonna go just lay down on him.
Just lay down on Bob. Yeah, like face down.
Just just like laying out on a sofa.
Just gonna. He might not mind after the the
drink. He He really doesn't because
he's at least tipsy at this point and you can see his eyes
are kind of sleepily lidded as you lay down on top of him and
his legs claps under him under your weight and just lays there
with you on top of him like a blanket.
I would guess you're kind of like.
Laying as flat as possible on him rather than riding him.
Or were you? Oh yeah, yeah.
No, I'm laying, laying flat on my stomach.
Yep, so and Zach gets up food drunkenly and goes, oh guys.
Well, it was a good. Good game we'd had there, but I
would like to up the stakes if anyone was interested.
Absolutely you could. I was that by soul.
That is a good one. There, you got.
No. I was thinking, you know, maybe
your most prized possessions. I don't think it's your soul.
I'm sorry, little one. You got.
You gotta have something a little bit more important than
that. We're in hell, so you know.
Wait, Zach recommends this This game something more expensive
than gold? Yeah, I mean you're most the
what you have with you obviously can't bet something that's not
here that's this, this be silly. But I was thinking this from my
side of things and they pull out a what looks like a very mundane
rock with a single hole drilled in the top of it.
It's a. Subdimensional space inside this
rock that you can send any of your companions to for
safekeeping. Or, you know, it's it's got to
think of like those magical bags that people all love, but like
for people in in living things, it's a they.
Don't die of suffocation. Oh my God.
I don't know. So many problems for me.
Let me look and see what I have. I don't really have much.
What would you say to a glitter bomb?
I know what a bomb is, what's glitter so.
I'm going to reach it in my bag and I'm going to pull out one of
the glitter bombs. And I actually don't remember
how we described this. Hold on.
And it is a globe of glass filled full of glitter and I set
it down on the table. Ooh, shiny.
Does it hurt people? Not physically.
It only hurts their pride if they hate.
Glitter, I could say. I could think of many dwarfs
that would work very well on, actually.
Yeah, down here it would probably be a fantastic tool.
OK, I can take that by in. I'll mark that it's gone if I
lose. It.
Flinch. You're getting in on this
betting action. I bet I'll have another wing I
win. Oh yay, you get a prize.
It's a drink. Yeah.
Vlog I have. I dig around in my bag.
The only things I have worth is this.
I don't know why I've got this block of incense.
It's cocaine. You mean MSG?
That's what? That's what.
That MSG the gift of the, the the.
The spice of the gods. Magical salt of the gods?
Yep. And I've got a set of scale bell
Arbor and I can't wear it. How big is the the brick that we
were talking that you're talking about there?
So it is a block of incense typically found in a priest's
pack. It does not say bundle size 2.
Well, it's typically found spot here my child.
Have a sniff as this. It's probably they're probably
conical. If they're intended in that
purpose, if you're thinking more so for the actual MSG, as you
kind of said cooking equivalent would be, they would be more
brick shape, obviously. And if there's two of them, I
would, I'd I'd probably say they're there's they're probably
each like a cube of three inch by three inch by three inch.
That seems reasonable. Did I come through?
Yeah. OK.
I heard you at least. OK.
As long as that's not sounding unreasonable, I think that's all
the the I don't need the armor. I don't have any use for that.
I I'll take that though. If you put that in the pot, the
the bricks there, you got and and there's like a.
A little bit of an eye twitch when they say that.
Sure, I put them down. I don't know what they're for.
Every time I burn them, the air just spills really good and.
It makes everything really good. Yeah.
Who else is putting in on this pot?
We got 22 offers here. Vermeira's sipping on a a drink
and continually getting the ghost closest to her to fill it
up, and I'm assuming Warren's doing the same and it sounds
like Flint. I don't know that.
I have an amethyst that's put in.
Just one. Just one.
How big is it? Big enough?
That is what she said. But that is not what I'm saying,
Sir. I don't.
That got impressed. Let's let's see it.
I'll show you mine if you show me yours, I.
Already showed you mine. It is this rock and it's about
the size of like a watermelon. Well, I'll show.
You water that and. I slammed this amethyst down on
the table. Where was this one from?
I don't even remember. I don't know.
I have a fuck ton of them. I think we got it from that one
Jewel chest in hell. Ohh yeah that would make sense.
We were all divvying up. Yeah, I have.
I have a lot of those and blue sapphires and rubies.
And you pull your head and back then and the.
Single small tear. Well, did you grab just like a
handful of them then because OK, that's what I was OK, that's
that sounds a little bit better because I remember there was a
whole whole bunch in there anyways.
So you slam down and they look you you look and they go, oh,
Zach goes, oh you broke a couple of them with that.
But that was that's a good bit. OK, that that that counts.
You might have to show me some of that force later though,
Anywho, there's. One eye like half squinted and
the other one real bug eye like. Just pretend it's one.
It's one, OK, how about you, big person over there on the
crocodile? You're apparently part of this
group. Oh, they're currently outside SO
and muted. Oh yeah.
So I'll assume they took. The crocodile out to put.
Matt's phone died. That's why he left.
In fact, now and Zach goes well, I guess that's good enough.
Is that the game that? The last game, same game we want
to play. But to throw the baby with?
No, the dice with the the each of the single different ones I
had also arm wrestle you. I'm not really good at that one.
I don't want to do that. Researches.
I don't want to look at the other guys.
There's one really good one that I like.
It's good. It's a wheel of misfortune.
Just the the odds are evens and corner bets.
And the it's it's a little complicated, though for this
time it might be easier just to do the same thing we did last
time. Oh yeah, that's a horrible TV
show. Who lost the wheel of Fortune?
Ohh. Yeah, you misheard me.
That was a wheel of misfortune. I haven't seen that one.
So. And it gets on the third level
how it's like 30 feet tall. Do we?
Do we want to sit play the the secret shakers that we played
last time or I I here's here's the list again I put.
Oh, let's do that. We've all played that one.
Let's do that one. OK, so as just reiterate the
rules for everyone here. You choose secretly which die
you're gonna roll 4 through? The The the 20?
All of them. And you only roll one though
each time. So you could roll a four and a
D4 and a D20 against some somebody's playing a D20 and
that's a real bad chances. But you can still win, you know?
You never know. But yeah, and then the person
that's won the most rounds wins the game.
Simple enough. Yeah, before we start, Diab
Franklin is gonna send one of his bugs to be hide where this
guy is sitting. And that he's just gonna like
casually like Blake really slowly and look through his bugs
eyes to see which one he's gonna choose.
Yeah, just real quick. We've got Franklin, Ash and
Flint in on this, it seems like. Yeah.
Okay, don't mind anything that's associated with this, but I'm
going to roll this, babe. Oof.
They don't notice. Right.
Not paying attention at all. Exactly.
No, it's the the the prepubescent turtle is
completely oblivious to the small cricket light shape on
their shoulder. All right, I can count us off
for the first roll if you add is 1.
Let's do it. What's he gonna use?
Let me know you see him switching off between a bunch of
different things, Go ahead and roll me a perception.
Actually, do you have Wait, what's that?
The What's that skill that lets you see through the picket's
eyes, too? Let me check it Arranger Swarm
Keeper. Writing time dispersal?
Ohh, nevermind. Actually, I take that back.
I don't think I have that ability.
I thought this worked like a like a familiar, but I am wrong.
OK, no worries, I was about to give it to you.
So as long as I was trying to keep it, keep it copacetic here,
all right. Give me a Magehand.
That's what it does. It gives me a Magehand made out
of bugs. Yep.
A very noticeable Magehand. Right.
Let me just steal that on 3123 RAW.
What? What?
Coming in hot with that natural 12.
You didn't roll. Yeah, I see it.
I. Don't see it?
Custom Roll 1B12. All right there.
Is it Green 12? It was very delayed.
Publix. I did it on Beyond and not in
here. Oh yeah, that makes sense.
That's why mine looks special. OK, OK.
That looks like Flint won that round.
Yes, You've got one point there, good Sir.
Yeah. Hey.
What? Yeah.
So now does that mean I can't roll the D12 again, correct?
OK, uh oh cheat. Franklin B8 Hey, you tried that
last time, but I was very quick with that though.
OK, who's kind of nuts off this time all?
Right. Well, all right.
All right. Ready.
Everybody ready? I chug another glass of milk.
I think. I'm not lactose intolerant or
anything. I too add a Constitution role to
this role. And have the longest bones.
Alright, 32 what role? Ah, bar all ours.
Aha, me Tutu who's in A roll? What the fuck is this shit?
That's funny. Flinter used to hold my baby
the. Baby is on.
The floor don't roll the baby. Walk over to the baby.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait no, the the baby is actually in the
gator's mouth currently. Oh, oh, no, you you asked me
that. And I should look over like,
yeah, I I got him right here. I looked down at my cradled arm
and it's just like an empty bottle of wine.
I think I drank the baby. God damn it, I left here in
charge of the child. Look around and then do I see
the baby and Bob smell? Yes.
Bob is, in the meantime, seemed to take into spinning the baby
around on his tongue like a basketball almost, and you hear
both the heads kind of giggling and Glee.
Oh my God, a nanny Gator. That's nice.
Ah, well, it looks like the total run this route.
Oh wait, no, that was the Constitution.
My bad. That was the three I got.
Got confused there. Hefty Constitution?
Yeah, So you're you're still buzzed there Franklin.
And just for your reference the buzz you.
I'll just send this again in chat.
I disadvantage on dexterity based but the advantage on
strength based or buzzed and that was all right.
Who's counting us off this time. Hey I can do it This.
Time, OK. Does that mean who got buzzed?
That was Franklin. Yes, you.
You've been buzzed from the the current drinking that you were
doing of the milk cartons. Surrounding me.
All right, let's roll on 3123. Roll your dice.
Oh, GM Josh, damn you. You ruined my perfect 10.
Hey, at least my D20 works for me.
This time I've just been rolling two as I was expecting another
two. That happened.
That would have stopped. Amazing.
I mean, yeah, sucked. Huh.
How terrible for you. So now Ashe's got one, I've got
one, and Flint's got one. That's me being a like a was a
pirate God. He's quite the lush right now.
Just drinking two weeks straight.
Fucking do it to you. I think it then is Flint's
turned the canvas off. So I don't.
I got pulled over on my ship once.
I had a hard time counting. Did they make you walk the whole
reef backwards? No.
They told me to walk the plank and I shot him in the kneecap
instead. That's how your pirate does it.
Yeah, I'll keep that in my notebook.
Here we go. Flee 2 penis.
Looks. Like you're Franklin.
Looks like Franklin got this is when.
Good job. Yeah, wait a second.
What did I already do that you rolled 2D10?
No. No, I rolled a D8AD4AD10 and a
D12. The 12th is there OK.
Yeah, I have a I have a six and a A20 left I think.
Yeah, you're doing better than me.
I got it. Takes it at 4.
You should use your 4 DAXT OK. OK, I look at the others.
Thumbs up. We.
Got this one? Roll a Persuasion just for fun.
Sure. Persuasion plus three.
Come on, Franklin, my boy 9, It worked.
You could see them blatantly grabbing for the for.
I turned to everyone and double thumbs up.
We got them, boys. I think it's my turn to count us
off. 123 roll. Roll frankly, you got 2.
I'm willing. I went last time, too.
That's weird. We'll see.
Maybe we'll tie.
You know you have a six left, right?
I have a six left. I don't know what everyone else
has, but. Damn.
We got one last roll. All right.
What I think who counted us off second then, was that for you?
1st that was me I I counted it off 2nd then you can count it
off in the final go. Great.
OK, alright, everyone. Are we were ready 32?
What A roll. Natural 20.
Wow. I call for we will.
Well, I think we're gonna see that with Franklin and Nashes.
They got a tie. Yeah.
What are we gonna roll? I think you should roll a D20
each to see if. Not the D100 D. 1, 100 do it, do
it all. Right.
I'll count us down. OK.
All right, roll. Up, baby.
Let's go guidance. 123 roll. Hell.
You you can just fucking have a Jesus.
That's Annie One and a three. Roll.
Oh man, that's the closest God damn game I've ever seen.
I slide my glitter bomb over to Franklin like you won that box.
I heard a little guy. Just barely.
That was crazy. Well, you won the pot, so you
get all those, you get 10 Amethyst.
Wow. My first worldly possessions.
OK, so wait, he got a glitter bomb.
And then he got the People Rock and a handful of Amethyst and
his own position back. Ah, yeah, by MSG.
I'm a little. Concerned about what Franklin's
going to put in the People Rock? Oh my God.
And if you guys ever wanted to have your very own Ant farm.
So why? There's one simple explanation I
should give you for the what you're calling a people rock.
Yeah, I it's. I was calling it kind of.
Wait, wait one minute. Fortress of Rebels, because
there's a lot of weird stuff in there.
It's it's kind of useful actually to stuff for training
purposes. There's a bar, of course, you
can't go anywhere without your in the pocket bar, right?
And it's also got you know sleeping quarters and it's a
nice, that's a nice place. Well, how do you actually work
it? Oh, yes, that's the that was the
important part that I was getting to.
So you just flip it over and you you flip it over presumably and
underneath you see a small little like imprint in it, it
looks like. And you just take that and you,
you put it on the back of wait a second, wait, I got it here.
You just take a coin and you put it in that there.
Yeah. It's gotta be at least a gull
coin, though. And then you just jam them
together and it makes a little trinket that you can put on
something. Hey, it looks like you got one.
A couple of you got some hanging off of that necklace thing
you're all wearing. And I didn't notice that before,
but maybe that's a good spot for.
You like these? Oh yeah.
That reminds me. I made one, at least for
everyone. You were eaten by a crocodile,
so I was holding on to it. I'll pass over what appears to
be a crab shell necklace to mommy.
To mommy. Inside it has one of my patented
jalapeno poppers, which mechanically is a good Berry, so
it's 1HP if you wear this around your deck.
We all know how to get to like a helic item in case of an
emergency. Or, you know, if you eat by
crocodiles and you didn't have a mango.
But yeah, here, I made it for you.
I wrote your day about it too, and it just says Mommy.
Everybody's is misspelled, if you remember.
Yeah. So you're saying we could turn
these into a Yeah, it just takes a gold coin.
You take a gold coin, smash it together on the bottom of the
rock, and it makes it makes a trinket.
Interesting. And then so you have to have a
trinket to be able to like, enter.
Yeah. Yeah.
You just kind of like I touch the trinket with intent to go in
and then you're just into the hole.
Got it. So they have to be willing.
What if they're unconscious? If they're unconscious, there is
one fail safe for that. But you're not gonna.
I mean, the person that's unconscious is probably not
gonna like it. You just bash them over the head
with a rock. It does a lot of damage though.
They're probably, especially if they're unwilling, going to be
real real mad at you on the other side of that and probably
wreck your place on the inside. That wouldn't recommend it.
Well, you know, we could always build a little like fortified
entry space with spikes in it so that then we could force people
into battle. And then they would get hit from
the damage of that and then there would be a spike robe.
And OK, thank you. It could be nice.
But yeah, well, I mean, you're not welcome.
But it was fun. What if we put concords in
there? That sounds.
Like that we should kidnap the whole bar.
You just put every unconscious drug person in the rock.
Yeah, just shift this bar into this bar our.
Exception to be clear, and this is just to prevent some terrible
things happening, which is they're going to have to be at
1HP to go inside unconsciously. So if they're at a lot of HP and
still have are still unconscious, you're gonna have
to keep bashing them with that rock.
Do they have to be at 1HP? What if they're dead?
Can we take dead people? Oh, I haven't really tried dead
people. I don't know what happens if
they're dead. Let's go.
Yeah, and shove it in this rock. No, no guys, I have the answer.
I have the answer. There might be a whole pile of
zombies outside. We could go knock them out,
bring them down to 1HP because they notoriously go down to 1HP.
Throw them in a room and then there and then next time we're
in like a sticky situation, we are like how we need a chaos
factor. We just open it up and release
like 100 zombies to wherever we are.
That sounds great. I.
Support this plan. I like this.
Guys, they're like built for chaos, aren't you?
It's great. Yeah, but if we fill it with
zombies, then we can't use it if we well.
No, no, no. We have to.
We have to have. So first we have to go in there,
right, and check out what it looks like.
But if there's like a large room almost adjacent from the entry,
we could fortify it. And then lock the door from the
outside, and that could be like the zombie storage room.
You keep it locked and then you know when we need them you just
put up some temporary walls so that the only way they can go is
out. But we have to go inside and
look. For two it is.
Combination of circumstances and.
I I. Feel like we should pursue it.
I like the idea of having a zombie horde on demand.
Plus, I just like being horde. But like, we're not going to be
able to put the back right? Like once we left about, we're
gonna either have to do the whole process again or just let
them destroy whatever we're wherever we are.
Yeah, but I. Fly for that, and then we
abandon the zombies. I mean, yeah, not reusable
zombie seems kind of weird. I feel like it's a one time.
Yeah, this. Is a what off?
Yeah, but I'm pretty sure there might be a whole pile of zombies
outside. So perfect opportunity.
Just say it. I vote Yay for the record.
Yeah. Is that what we're doing today?
Now something This should be tried.
We still got some time together before the next day, right?
That sounds good to me. Oh my God, that.
Sounds exactly what a bunch of drunk blackout people would do
with magical powers in the fifth level of hell.
Just saying. It really does.
Gwape up that goo pile and put them in here all.
Right, hold on. What do we know about zombies?
Because we did. To do this smartly, because
there might be a lot of them. Oh ohh damn.
Didn't we have a person who was like a zombie expert?
So no, but I have a polka. Dax can I, can I, can I poke the
bear and say that from the the rhythmic veracity when we all
learned each others like both our characters and our player,
we all swapped knowledge. So wouldn't our characters know
what we as players know now? More or less.
More or less I would say it would be.
I think that depends on a recall ability.
Exactly. Especially at this point, which
which is what I would I would say too cuz it's like you had
gotten a memory dump so you knew high note.
Is there a Renshaw in this bar? It looks like it.
You mean this person back here? Yeah.
No, that's not Renshaw, OK? I was just gonna be like I see
Renshaw. Be like I remember you.
I don't know why I remember you, but I remember.
I think it's just, you know, one of those DWARF tokens that sort
of look like Renshaw, but. First give me your give me your
guys necklaces so that I made chat them so that we could go
check this place out. Because that's stepped over wide
our turtle, or our turtle, or crustacean necklaces, whatever
they. Yeah, they're like crab shell,
like they're like big crab shells like you ended.
When you open up it, it like pops out like a jalapeno popper,
like a pets pets dispenser. I think I thought we talked
about the crab claw, actually. So it would like come out the
middle of it when you. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that's what I meant. Crab Claw.
Gotcha. Sorry.
So if I collect those from everyone, I will go through the
process of transforming them all into.
Ohh. Keys to get back or to get into
the the space. Ohh okay.
So you. You need the you need.
It I need a gold coin, though for BG you, I kind of just give
you like a little squinty look, but then I hand over a gold coin
as well. I have a gold coins no.
No, no, no what? Am I talking about I'm Franklin.
I'm gonna give you buy gold and I will take out my old own gold
and I will minus How many people are there right now total in the
group? So I'll make one for everyone,
even those who aren't here. For besides yourself.
Think for, so no. Including your including
yourself, including yourself. Or.
Jesus. Kind of.
That wasn't including me. Actually, I'm gonna make a few
more. I'm gonna make us some extras,
just in case. I'm gonna make some extras just
in case we were out of those weird guys from the alternative
dimension that we could give them to them.
They'll have a way to get to us and we could have beat up with
them. You know what is a perfect
ability for you to roll right now?
The crafting you created last session.
Yep. Hell yeah.
Guidance. So.
Here's this, I think. And then?
I'm thinking guidance is a verbal and semantic right.
Well, it's concentration, so you can cast it on yourself and then
concentrate for a minute and then use it.
I meant the casting method. It's yeah, you use a a, a verbal
spoken and a hand gesture. Verbal.
Yes. Semantic.
Okay. I was just curious what those
would be. For me, I slap my own ass and
say get up butter, get a yat up buddy cup.
All right, that is only an 8 total, which is sad.
The the shape on the on the bottom of the rock that it was
make was supposed to make. It's supposed to be like.
Almost exactly the same shape as the rock itself in profile,
almost. But what comes out looks like
actual, literal, swirling piles of emoji poo.
That's fine, Poopy. I touch it.
Ohh, I I mean it's it's still golden.
So it's it's solid. Oh my God wait, it's a Golden
Poo. Ah, that's awesome.
Golden Poo all. Right.
Take the time to inscribe each of them with everybody's names
incorrectly. And differently incorrectly from
the last time you spelled them too, probably.
There's no consistency except for one Who's got the hardest to
spell name here? I get that one, right?
Probably Griselda, yeah. Or Vermaida depending upon.
Technically, Griselda is longer, but that's why I figured.
Griselda longer. Vizelda God, I look at it and I
begin to like, cross it out. That looks wrong.
Put it down. All right.
I pass them out to everybody. So take these golden poos and
they will bring us to our new place.
I agree. And in the meantime, especially
during your the topics of what to do with the new newfound
thing that Zach had passed out on the table and then animatedly
comes back in the middle of your talking and just says I like to
What were we talking about? We're gonna go check out the
place. Do you wanna come?
No, you can go check it out. I was just, oh, I think I
remember what I was gonna say. I like to call it the fortress
of the rebels. That is it.
Because. It Oh yeah, You said there was
cool stuff in there. Yeah, we're gonna fill it with
zombies. Good luck.
It's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be a hop in place.
I take the trinket and I'm like, alright, what did we do this at?
Should we go somewhere private so somebody doesn't wander off
with our rock? Yeah, probably.
And we should, should we have like one person outside just in
case? I'll I could stay outside if you
guys want and protect the rock. I mean, we could leave Vamira
and Warren outside. Yeah.
Don't we have rooms upstairs? Yeah.
Yes, we do. Yeah, well, why don't we go to
our room upstairs? That's a good idea.
Yeah, Let's do that. I'm gonna pick up my baby.
Yeah, and I'm gonna go over to Valmyra, wherever she is, and
I'm gonna, like, pick her up and carry over one shoulder like a
sack of potatoes. You should drag Warren by his
ankle just up the stairs. Yeah.
I'm take him bed. He looks tired.
Yeah, I'm gonna pick. I like this.
I'm gonna pick Warren up by his ankle because Mom is not
thrilled with Warren or whatever the fuck he's calling himself
these days. Yeah, so I'm gonna.
Help I get this one. You get that.
For my Rover, one shoulder. And then I'm just picking up
Warren by the because I'm like super drunk, right?
So I've stupid drunk, stupid person strength yes on top.
Of being Mama already. Go ahead and.
Who roll me strength checks for those that are moving people is
being left behind the. Advantage.
Oh yeah, There's Griselda. Did you say with advantage I
just? Said I.
Feel like I want advantage. But.
I think MAME has advantage currently because of being
buzzed that which is associated with the blackout as well.
You are currently drunk, so yes, with advantage.
Also Flint. I'm helping as I'm dragging
Warren. I feel like I'm just giving a
tug, take two steps back, his head bouncing off of every board
and nail. It's sticking out.
So you have Warren, you said. I have one ankle and mommy has
the other ankle, I thought. And Mommy has vomitra on her
shoulder as well. Yeah, like a sack of potatoes.
Looks. Like.
Easily, because those rolls of 1819 and a 20 for both of those
peoples, the momma's got this. And As for Flint?
Yeah, you're struggling with the one person ankle.
As I see that Franklin will assist.
Flint, lovely help you. You're welcome.
Thank you for the comp of that. Rubik's not with us right now.
Rubik is not Rubik though was drinking at the bar so is mildly
intoxicated, but follows of you and up the stairs I would say.
At this point I was gonna say if anyone doesn't follow, I'll just
flop them onto Bob's back and get them up the stairs that way.
OK, that would be Gerzelda. I think.
Who hasn't been drinking? Was betting last?
But seems to be in a meditative trance while you're.
Setting her very light frame on top of Bob.
I'm guessing she's extremely light anyways, because she's
mostly coarse. Jealousful frame.
Yeah, yeah, she's slightly mummified.
I would guess that's what I was thinking.
Yeah, So you guys all head upstairs?
I was. Gonna say imagination land
instead of trying to put you guys all up there and take you
all back down again, but. I'm good for that, Okay.
It's Imagination Land. Are you?
I hand to everyone. Two of the two of the golden
poops. Wait, no, no.
God damn it. We're sitting here playing
Dungeons and Dragons. I don't wanna use my
imagination. That here.
But I had one of these to each you so that next time any of us
has one of those weird dreams where we see the people from the
alternate dimensions, you give them one of these so we can talk
to them. We need to figure out what's
going on. Yeah, let's do that.
So we should go talk to him now. So I'll take.
Now we're going into. Our We have to go check out this
place. Yeah, our pocket rock or
whatever it is. Yeah, our pocket rocket.
Yeah, whoa. Newly named fortress of rebels
straight into. The pocket pocket.
All right, how do we get in this thing?
I've got my trinket. I examined the poop.
I bet you probably have to put it back up where it kid from,
right? All right, bend over, Franklin.
Oh, hey. When is immediately scarred of
emotional damage from the previous time he'd seen Turtle
Butthole emotional damage. Bitch.
How do we? Use the domestic violence.
It's candy. You're fine.
You're fine throwing candy at him.
Guys, I'm sorry. Alright, so Franklin turns over
just anything. Very used to domestic violence.
Oh God. I didn't know if you're
following through with that. I'll try to like cast a check on
it of some sort to determine how it works as I think the current
holder of it. I don't know how it works.
Arkana. No.
I have a -, 3. Please God, no.
Religion No. I also have a -, 3.
Why am I not good at these things?
I wanna assist with Arkana. I don't.
Know if I'm good at Arkana Ohh. My character sheet's missing.
I closed it. I would say that one you should
probably open the character sheet, but tool you will
probably. I.
Ash grab the charm and are is it still on your neck on the torque
or have you tried to take it off of the torque to put it in the
the pooper? No.
Well, he had handed it to us. What was it downstairs?
No, he passed them all out up here.
And I would say that I have not hung it off of my necklace yet.
And if it looks like a poo, I probably won't.
I'll just like keep it in my pocket.
Does it smell? No, no.
It's like a swirly, diagrammatic form of a poo, but gold, but
gold. Color my gods.
But yeah, I don't try to insert it anywhere.
Hmm. You're goody.
So you said you were about to, though.
That's why I was asking. So I'm not.
No, I said. Franklin bent over and I asked
if anything happened. Oh no, no, nothing.
I thought you meant because. I thought you meant because you
were inserting it after the conversation that was had.
No, nothing happened as he just bent over Nothing.
Nope. And I'm just looking.
I'm like, do I insert this in the turtle or the rock?
Wait, hold on. I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to
use it. Can I take by to press it
against her? Back I think, feeling I remember
something about this. You go to grab it.
I'm I'm thinking you're holding the rock at this point too.
And you you go to take the rock to press it against her back
because you're holding on to the charm.
With the other hand, it sounded like to try and press it on to
her back, but as you're it was already on your torque if I
remember correctly too right? Yeah.
So he's not putting his away. It's just like you're.
Leaning forward almost as it comes off with the intent of
putting somebody inside and without touching her, you see
Ash who is willing to go inside, go in just actually you see a
purplish geogrammatic form flow out of the rock and gulf Ash in
a in seconds and. Into the rock with that sound
effect without even touching her.
Like a Pokémon? That's cool.
I've got a Polkadex. Wait, I was holding the baby.
Is the baby Go with me. Just falls to the ground.
I I I did not realize you were holding the baby now.
I thought it was still with. Bob.
No, I said. I picked up the baby before we
walked up the stairs and like I like I said, we put Griselda on
Bob's back. I guess Bob would be stuck there
too. I missed that particular detail.
But yes, the baby is with you, OK and and you and easel.
That was fine. I turn to each of the others in
turn and begin zapping them into the the pokeball into the pocket
rocket. If they if you're all willing,
it continues to happen. I'm pretty sure this isn't
killing you. Pretty sure, no guarantees.
Oh, is any real? Funny.
Is anyone unwilling? Resounding, no, I guess.
Yep. Silence means no.
So the last thing you're doing there, Franklin, is standing in
the locked room on the second floor of the Ale House and
going, wait, everybody else is in there.
How do I get in? I have a split second thought
about just destroying or defacing the rock so they can't
escape, and then I shake my head and then I think about it again.
And then I shake my head and then I say will myself into the
rock, into the pocket rocket. And that's exactly what happens.
The purple smoke comes out as you're holding the rock and the
charm and engulfs you, and you go into the you feel yourself
being into a space, and each of you in the order that you'd come
down to, so probably at least similarly into this.
Look back behind you when you see this, these geometrical
forms changing and floating around in a Purpley haze inside
of a gate. Behind you, but in front of you,
you see a tunnel that leads to what looks like a slightly
larger chamber ahead with some light.
I'm in the larger chamber and you see a plethora of goods,
whether they be boxed, bagged or on racks.
In the case of the weaponry, maybe.
I look at this weaponry rack. Oh, it's pretty basic.
There's some pickaxes, hammers, some swords, all invariant
lengths and shapes and sizes. No cool daggers.
There is a there's just basic daggers in the midst of it all.
But nothing. Nothing's striking any striking
your fancy, I would guess. Yeah, nothing exciting.
I've got plenty of Normie daggers.
I am unable to move me. Did you cook on yourself?
Yeah. Hey man, can I just get past you
just? Come on, man.
I wanna know what's in the box. Inside that box that you're
looking into over Monet, you see a variety of bottles.
You're not quite sure what all are in the bottles, but there's
different colors and shapes and sizes in there too.
Fuck yeah, I'm gonna just stick my hand in and pick one up at
random. Is there a cork in it?
Please tell me there's a cork. There is a cork in the first one
that you picked up. Yes.
Yeah, I'm gonna pull the cork out with my teeth and just start
drinking it. It's just like my casual, casual
sip as I'm walking around looking at things.
They're fucking cool. I'm drunk.
I'm not drunk. What are D?
What's going on? Is this a vanity table I'm
looking at? Try that other one, Flint, can
you click? On that one, OK, I'm gonna
delete this one. OK, oh, you deleted me.
Finally, the sweet release of death.
Yeah, that was a vanity that you were looking at there, Esh, with
a looks like makeup goods all around it too.
Is there any place in here to take a bath?
Because that sounds amazing. Not in this room.
This room seems to be some sort of bedroom, as there's plenty of
beds and some storage for some of the stuff all.
Right, I'm just going to start wandering around looking for the
bathroom and pray for a dragon sized bathtub.
So the bit more of a descriptor of what's going on visually too
is you guys walk in in into that room and you are able to take a
little lift down to a secondary area, which there is, you can
see easily the lift is attached to a ladder that you can climb
up pretty. Oh, is that what that was?
Yes. And and then you climbed up the
ladder into the bedroom area to just to the east of the location
where you're at. But as you left either of those
rooms to the north, there is a single central hallway almost or
corridor that connects a couple different other spaces that you
you stand into and it's easily 30 feet in height to the top of
it. And it's just it looks like an
engraving, a very natural cave that would have existed in
carved out by the the water that may that may have made it.
And you see down to either end these lights that are hanging
above you illuminating the whole thing that are flickering in
when these. Sparkly Firefly lights.
Is that what this is? Yep.
Cool. Firefly lights.
It looks like we have a gaming hell yes, there is a bit of a
gaming room with the IT looks like a couple highly stocked
chests. I'd like to.
See what's going on? Can you move?
This place is nice just. Looking at a great outs like
like. The black border of the hallway,
but like the hallway itself is all grayed out, like I don't
have a token. What in the hell?
He He did you, Franklin. I've found Cleverin.
How about that token? You found my brothers, huh?
I run over. I follow over, Get back up.
Ooh, this is fun. How about that token?
Wow. Yeah, I see that one.
I can move. This is what a real beach looks.
Like I was drunkenly paralyzed. Just stumbled in and was so
stunned. Couldn't do anything.
You hadn't roll me a constitution savings here, by
the way. Mame, I didn't.
Didn't get to that one. Yeah, So the chamber that you
guys just walked into, you did. 24 You are drinking it and it.
Does not reminds, It reminds you of the A a Goliath specific
distilled liquor that you had from your childhood.
Yes, Goliath would drink his children.
What of it? Memory liquor?
Is that a thing that sounds nice?
I have memory of licking her. You're not supposed to kiss and
tell. Oh, there was no kissing.
Oh. My.
God, unless you call it an Australian kiss because it was
Down Under. By Manny's Flat Top, you are
vulgar, you. Liked it then?
So Franklin and Ash, you walked into a secondary chamber, it
seems like. And each of these chambers are
kind of bell shaped. You see tapering up to a, a, a,
a point above you besides the rack that is directly hanging
above you and looks like almost a secondary level up there,
perhaps that you could get to. You're not quite sure from where
you're standing, but this chamber that you walked into is.
This is the second chamber so far to the east and it is
definitely bath worthy as what you were searching after.
Ash Long soaking baths are installed here with our that are
slightly steaming and are filtered in through some sort of
slightly lapping waves that are seeming to be powering a a tiny
water mill that there is something somehow attached to
some other things. You're not quite sure how it all
works, but. Is there anything here that
looks like it would wash clothes besides the water that there's
turtles floating around in happily and the baths that are
steaming? That's it.
There are no machines that would wash clothes?
No. All right.
Well, we'll. Have to hire someone.
Yeah, we'll have to get servants, but I stripped down
and I stripped the baby down and I just get into this pub right
here, completely nude. Yep, just completely nude.
No modesty. Don't care.
I want a bath, right? Now Franklin is watching.
Wow, I. Sit down in the water and I'm
just playing with the baby. I'm like, who's your dirty, you
know, baby? And I don't come completely
under the water. And I plop them back up real
fast. Frank that slowly backs out.
Frank, would you see the chest full of gold?
You made those up there? Yeah.
Is it really full? Why did?
Wait, why did Keith give us all this stuff?
Is he's really chess full of gold?
Yeah, you look in and you see. I don't know.
An insight, Chuck? Insight on the gold?
No on uh, Keith. Isn't Keith, right?
Zach. Zach.
Damn. Why did I think Keith?
I don't know. Why did he give us this shit?
This is really nice. And all I offered head was some
shitty cocaine. I mean FSG.
It's probably come with baby laxative anyways.
As I look around, do I sense a trap?
You can tell that Zach has been a very genuine person with you
and may have been just really deep in their cups and a little
too full of them, their bravado of wanting to play a game before
the next day. He sold a He bet his house.
Wait, is he gonna have anywhere to live?
Should we invite him to live here?
Let be rude, right? Hey man, do you want to live in
your old house? But you gotta clean our clothes
now. That you gotta pay rent.
Well, no, he doesn't have to do that.
He's a wizard. He could just like, you know,
hang out, do wizard stuff. Wizards.
Oceans stuff. Anyway, we we gotta ask.
Ball rug for us? I.
Don't know what that means, but ball rugs scare me.
Like a bully wug. Yeah, that thing a belly rub.
I don't like a belly rubs. I'm gonna start grabbing the
gold and start shoveling it into my pocket.
Josh. Can you describe this area, like
the bed chamber area? There's a little ladder, yeah, a
little like gate thing. It's a little railing that you
can look over down into the small space below which has a a
lift that would take you up to the back, up to the weaponry and
immediate stocked area out back through the portal.
But the the bed chamber itself as seeming to hum with its own
energy, and the beds themselves are all lined out.
That there is also some fixings to prepare an appearance with
makeup, small chest, some other otherwise unadorned on the
walls, but they look securable. The walls themselves are bit
different than the rest of the the area.
Rest of it looks like it's been naturally formed, whereas the
bed chamber itself is metallic on the walls.
Interesting. OK.
I'll investigate the walls. I'm thinking, I say this to
whoever is nearby. If we do want to go through
their zombie plan, we could refit, you know, move these beds
out, refit this area, extend this gate thing all the way to
the ceiling and then it's right next to the entry.
We could just block off the the down chute thing and then
release the zombies. I mean, we would have to move
the beds downstairs so the gaming area might get a little
smaller or like wherever the golden chests are.
Maybe one of us should just become a necromancer and some in
zombies. We don't want to do it all the
time. We just want a.
We just want the wild card, right?
Otherwise, that's exhausting for a DM.
I mean, what did I say? What's a DM?
I mean, I heard that at nightclub once, but I don't know
what else it means. I know what a BM is.
Get out my way with the bathroom.
Is mommy doing anything other than finishing that bottle?
And just drinking the bottle, Running around observing Mama
immediately runs into the final and 3rd chamber, it seems like,
which is a large drinking and eating hall with a good
proliferation of intermittent book or in shelves.
As this food on the stove, I see there does seem to be some food
that had been cooking on the stove.
Mama is just gonna, like, take this whole pan, gonna pick it
up. And carry it over.
To the table and eat. You're not real sure what it was
cooking in there, but you can tell definitely that it was some
sort of meat and some sort of tubers.
Good enough. That real food.
Good enough. And you're sitting there eating,
and you realize that in the dining portion of where you're
at seems to be a final ladder that leads all the way up to the
area completely above the space. Above the space, yes.
So the the ceilings for each of the chambers are like 30 feet in
the air. But there is a connecting
hallway that connects them, and you can see inside of the
chamber the ceilings go up above a secondary level that follows
the connecting space in between. Ohh, so there's like a small
mezzanine, yes. Yeah, I can like across is it?
Is it this all this like wood pattern all the way across?
Correct. Yes.
OK. That's cool.
Maybe we could move the beds up there.
The mezzanine so we can flop off and wake up in a bad way.
I mean, you could put like a railing, yeah, but that's is
there no railing up there? What are the safety stairs?
Does this place? Can't quite see from this angle,
but. Yeah.
All right, I'll go check it out. Where's the ladder?
This one it's It seems to have its own little cart lift
station, and you Presumably no one else is following.
Bobsled Flint's following the bobsled.
Yeah. Also, was that 25?
Was that how much gold I got? Yep, you you kept dropping it
through your fingers, I'm guessing as you're like trying
to take handfuls and you both up to the second level and it looks
like there are two pathways up here.
Your first into the closest one, but they're connecting,
connecting hammocks that you hadn't seen down from below
through the lights that were scattered around up here, but
you can see down onto the other spaces from up here as well.
Ohh like. Through the center here, like
that's a gap down to the lower force.
Right. You could see my butt from down
there. You're gonna fall bull body.
B. Yeah.
Be careful and there is railing that seems to line either side.
Yeah, you're a brown railing. You don't want to stand right
here. This is a bad place to.
Stand there's a railing. We're good.
Anyway, this place is sweet. We should hire a Carpenter to
secure that bedroom. Once I figure out if it's a
special you look back over to the spot where you've been
pressing up against the railing. Franklin and Mom, may you see a
chunk of railing fall down below.
Mom is just gonna like, look over where it fell and then go
back to eating. Completely unfazed.
He's look like the same hyper hammocks we sleep on on my ship.
Really. Yeah.
I have never seen the ocean. I'm.
Gonna crawl into one and then just black the fuck out.
I rock him for like 1/2 hour. I rolled a performance for
cleaning myself and the baby and I also rolled A mothering skill.
Oh I see those now. Dang very nice on the
performance. Obviously with a + 13 how can
you go wrong and the mothering skills.
So you are probably singing then, as you both bathe and the
the foam and froth are are clearly covering both of you,
and you're quite sure it's gotten into each and every
crevice and you no longer can smell the fifth level of hell
that you've been lingering on with the future death that had
seemed to be part of you. Oh, I feel wonderful.
After we're both clean, I'm gonna.
Get out of the tub and I guess lay the little baby on little
ISO and Enyo on this pedestal thing over here.
And then I'm gonna wash our clothes and all the like cloth
diapers I made out of the ends bed sheets in the tub that we
just used. OK.
While they're laying there, you can see for sure that there is a
mirror on the back of it, seemingly with the lights of a
chandelier projected towards it to amplify the the amount of
light that is directed on the portion of what you would guess
maybe is a stage that you set them on and you and easel.
A little performing stage. Do I sense anything magical from
the stage? Should I be worried?
You do not sense anything magical.
It does seem to, when you step up on it, move slightly as if it
were intended to be potentially changed in some some fashion.
Or rather, you know it it has, it has movement towards it, not
just a inanimate object. Movement towards it while still
wet and in the nude, I'm just gonna start fondling it, like
moving things around, seeing what I can figure out.
So you're able to easily discern at least that the steps that you
walk up to the center platform are that you are what you press
and move first, because there seems to be some knobbage on it
and you can push them in. And as you start pushing them
in, it starts closing in on itself and on your baby as well.
Oh my God, I grabbed the baby. As you're grabbing the baby it
stops closing in because you stopped pushing on the stair and
it it doesn't fold in all and in itself, but you see as it
started to tilt on the top, there seems to be something up
above the the where it would actually when it when it closes.
So I'm going to set the baby just like over here on the
floor, try to keep it away from anything that might close on it
or fall on it. And I'm going to try to push
this and close again or push the drawers in.
And as you push the drawers that are the steps in, you can tell
the sides collapse in on themselves, with the top folding
in on its on it as well. And the drawers making the face
of it easily 3 feet up in the air to a full stage with a a set
that the two sides had folded up into to create a a curtain in in
front of it as well that hangs in between the two sides of the
wall. A stage with a curtain that
hangs in between, like dividing the stage in two.
It actually stops at the front the curtain.
Sorry. So there's a semicircle with a
curtain that follows that semicircle.
OK. So like a changing area or yeah,
whatever you. Could use it a changing area
performing stage. Sure, however you want to
interpret it. I go up and I pull back the
curtain. Do I see anything on the other
side? There is the the back of the
wall on the other side of the this little pond area that seems
to be lapping the waves to power generate the.
OK, so this is an enclosed cavern.
This water just doesn't continue off somewhere, correct?
OK, but it does seem to somehow have waves out to this, back out
to the edges and into the center island that all this is situated
on could. Have brought Bob here.
He could have investigated just imagining Bob staring at this
rock. Like, where did she go?
I'm gonna go back to washing our clothes.
Alrighty. Because they are dirty, Mommy,
you've definitely finished the food in the pan by this point.
I'm. Just gonna look her up for more
food. There is evidently half eaten
food on the table that you're sitting at.
It's gone cold by this point too.
That's fine. I'm just gonna start, like,
picking over it for things that are tasty.
You know, anything involving cheese or meat or bread?
Go ahead and roll me a constitution.
Not gonna lie guys, we sound very much like World War Two
soldiers after like dorm A trench and find like a feast on
the French side. They just go ravishly and just
take everything. I mean, we're gonna put zombies
in here. If we want anything, we might as
well take it now. I was thinking we put them up by
the bedroom and we can wall them into that little like space
while we hold while we get to use the majority of the.
Yeah, but what if they escape? You know, zombies are always
real crafty. They never stay where you put
them. I mean, perhaps, but I was
thinking, you know, we just hire like a Craftsman to like, you
know, build a wall. Yeah, I'd like to hire your
skills, but first shove this golden turn up your ass so I can
show you where I want. You to know the.
Wall, they would have to do that.
They would just have to, you know, be willing to accept an
alternative dimension. I think we could do it.
We just gotta pay him a little bit more.
And I see a big pile of money over there.
And the. Yeah, with the.
Payment. It's not ask questions.
It'd be fine, yeah. The wall will be.
Huge, huge with a big lock out the front.
Big lid lock. You have to speak parcel tongue
to open. Is there any place for me to
just hang up our wet clothes? No, not after you've closed the
stage. This area in in, down, on and in
itself. It's now only at a shallow 3
feet height. When you would open it up, the
back of the stage with the mirror portion had stood at
while you were standing on the top of the stage, somewhere in
between 10 and 15 feet. OK, I'll open it back up and
throw my clothes and stuff over it and wrap the baby in whatever
else I have clean and just like wear shamiz and start wandering
around and exploring. OK mommy, you were eating the
bits and bobs from the rest of the table there around and you
definitely find some meat and bread, but unfortunately no
cheese seems to be lacking at the table.
But it all went down pretty well and you're feeling a little bit
better, especially after having been whacked with a large stick
earlier in the day. Go ahead and take four hit
points back. Whoo.
I would say I probably make my way to the kitchen area too and
start looking for food because I can imagine that everybody's
hungry. You see plenty of well besides
the pan that mom is taking away. You see there is a another pot
that has been brewing with some sort of soup that smells Hardy.
There are on the bar, there's a couple cups of different things,
but there isn't anything food wise that is just out and about
on this side of the chamber next to the cooking area.
I'm. Gonna look for a bowl to just
get some soup out of that pot. And what's in these crates over
here? So you drink, you lift open the
the crates. You can tell that they haven't
been sealed completely, or that if they were at one point they
are now open because you can just lift them up from the side
and inside of the one that doesn't even have a lid on it
actually has a quite a few bottles of different different
things. And then the first crate that
you look in has some dried goods and the second one has some
fresh goods. It is seemingly with the second
one being seemingly more sealed and packed with some sort of
cooling magic. You can only presumably because
as you lift the lid it it kind of mists and the stuff inside is
fresh. Oh, that's nice, man.
We fucking stiffed him. Get a glitter bomb and some
emeralds. And he got he, and he bet this
down. Yeah, little mobile home right
now. Really hope he doesn't hold this
against us. We still need to use like we we
do, take it out of here, and he needs to help us with that.
But I think he's an honorable sort.
And this is our new house. Our house.
I'm gonna get myself a bottle of wine and a bowl of soup and I'm
just gonna sit down. With Enso and Ino and feed
myself and feed them. It's certainly better than hell.
Yeah, yeah. Well, you guys enjoy this for a
little while. I think I'm gonna head out and
find some carpenters to get started on this wall so that we
could utilize the zombie horde nearby while we have the
opportunity. Are there car printers in the
fifth level of hell that will help us?
Maybe that ghost? I have a crafting skill now, so
maybe I just need crafting a bit like stuff.
Go to the hardware store and order some walls.
Yeah. Like 3. 2.
Six walls, yeah. Wait, Flint said.
He passed out. Where did he pass out at?
Oh he's he's upstairs. I pointed at the mezzanine and
there are hammocks up there. He got rebided of his ship, got
in one and passed out as then I rocked him for 1/2 hour while
telling him sweet nothings. Also, I took a sample of his
blood or some of his hair. I'm going to go up to where he
is sleeping, so you get to the latter portion where it looks
like the lift has gone up to and you see a small recall button
that you press and get on the lift that takes you up to the
thirdish terrace mezzanine level.
Fancy. OK, yeah, I thought.
These were wagons. I see they're elevators now.
Mine cart, mine cart like lifts basically.
OK, dumb way there. Where?
Did I go? Or what they call an elevator
alleviator and you take. Me up, you're up.
Wait, are we on the third level right now?
Yep. OK, so I'm gonna walk over to
the sleeping blend and I am going to pull out a my bottle of
ink and I'm just gonna dip my pinky in it and I'm gonna draw a
Dick on his face. Yeah, unless you want to create
a skill, it would probably be a sleight of hand.
Arts and crafts. 13 It's a pretty magnificent Dick.
You you've got some. You got some hairy balls and a
veiny shaft, eloquently drawn from the cheek up to the
forehead, somehow curving. I'm also.
I'm also going to pull some thread out from one of.
These like crappy articles of clothing that I've been carrying
around and I'm going to just take some threads from it and
I'm, I'm going to take one of my glitter bombs and I'm going to
hang it very delicately above Flint so that when he wakes up
and moves the hammock, it's going to fall down on him.
The the ceiling is only from this portion, not that far away,
but you would have to stand, especially at your demure height
of what was it 4 foot 6? Yeah, you'd have to stand on the
railing for sure to reach the 88 foot ceiling from the standing
portion where you're at. OK, I'm gonna sit down Inyo and
SLS Inyo and SL down on the ground.
We're gonna fight when this is. I'll buy real glitter bombs and
then we can have a real fight. You can go say your mom's.
My mom likes glitter, so you're going to want to roll me And
acrobatics and a sleight of hand in this one's case. 11 on the
acrobatics. Light of hand is A5.
You get up on top of the railing and you're standing there trying
to attach it to a Stalag tight, but the string doesn't seem to
quite catch on it as you let it go, and you try to course direct
and catch it as it's falling before it.
It falls down on that Flint in the hammock and it falls
directly down and explodes, covering you both.
And I think it's a 10 foot radius right hold.
On Let me go look if it's not, it is now.
Because OK, I don't have that written down, but I will add it
to the description. I think that's the minimum that
it should be. Would that be enough to wake me
out of that drunken stupor? Go ahead and roll me a
perception. Probably with disadvantage.
I'm just gonna say that it won't take much though in the case of
this. Mm.
HM You are definitely awake now and covered in glitter.
What color is the glitter, by the way?
Probably. Silver okay would probably be
the most common color. Maybe.
Maybe I should make a wide range of them colors?
What the fuck is this? I gingerly get down and don't
say anything and just pick up. Just pick up my baby and come
back towards the lift. Would the baby be covered in
glitter too? Oh yeah, is this edible glitter?
Like is it safe for consumption? Oh my God, is it like Pixie or
Fairy Glitter? No.
You know, as a baby, they're going to eat that shit.
Where did these come from? I'm trying to even.
Remember, baby can fly now. Yeah, that's what I was trying
to remember too, because I was like, they're here and they have
a description and it's a custom item and I have 15 of them I
want to say. Mighty and Murray.
Had to be the time that Warren stumbled into that random
exchange with the the like image of a God that was the God of
trading or something like that, you know?
Yeah, that. That what was it?
A goblin? No.
It was like an imp. Yeah, it wasn't imp quite some
time ago, but yeah, I do remember we got a couple of
weird items from him. That's, yeah, that's what I
would he. Wouldn't give us his name.
No, because it was it was, I think it was Eins at the time
that was trying to get his name to be able to summon him at any
time. 1 foot radius of glitter. OK, I added it that time and I'm
just gonna silently walk back to the lips with my baby.
Covered in glitter. And go back to the bathhouse.
Yeah, Don't you think? I don't know that was you.
As I sparkle on the lift as it goes down.
Sparkle. Sparkle.
Mommy, at this point I was drank a lot and eaten a lot and
there's some hammocks over here. And so Mom is gonna take a leaf
out of Flint's book and getting a hammock.
I'm a hop out of this hammock. Like, shake myself.
Fuck. Fuck.
Yeah. You think Flint would like
glitter? No, he'd be irritated as shit.
I go back down to the baths and don't really wait again, but
just wipe myself and the baby off.
Check to see if my clothes are dry.
I'm gonna chase after. It won't be hard.
I'm just gonna follow the trail of glitter.
As you, you and Franklin take the lift back down, you follow
the trail and the sounds of water oy prick.
Yes. Can I help you?
You wanna fucking explain this? Well, what needs explaining
about to state the obvious? I don't know what you're talking
about. Denial.
I look like a Pixie's nut sack right now.
I'm like, well, we're in a new place.
The we have new things to discover.
Anything could happen. I'm trying very hard to persuade
him. That shit just happens.
It totally wants me. I don't see anyone else in this
place covered in fucking glitter or a trail following them.
Definitely with disadvantage on that persuasion, I would say,
and it would be an Insight check to counteract anything like
that. Okay.
The disadvantage on my persuasion is 24.
Yeah, he would definitely have advantage.
So it was a it was a near thing you put you're like as Flint
you're you're slightly drunk, extremely tired.
Well. Not slightly drunk.
You're extremely drunk and extremely tired and just like I
don't even care anymore. Is that worth an argument?
There's water. Fuck you.
I'm just gonna storm past her and give her a nice little
shoulder check as I go into the water to rinse the shit off.
I'm not into a bath, just straight into the water.
Straight into the water. That's who I am.
And you do notice the water that is is slightly salty, at least
satisfyingly to you. And the one of the sea turtles
you only can presume, since it's salty water come up to you as
you're standing next to a reef with some fish that are dancing
around your toes and eating some of the gunk off of them.
Floats up to you and rests a head on your shoulder.
And eat some of the gunk out of your hair.
Damn, this just take like a deep size.
Ah, something feels normal, for one.
I'm very tempted. I am very tempted.
To just pitch a glitter bomb in his head.
Should I? Will you?
Man, I shouldn't have remembered.
These were in my bag. I pitched one in his head.
It's usually associated with Dexterity for a a throwing.
Do I just make a dex check or? Yeah, I would say so.
So it would be Dex plus your dex modifier.
Ohh D20 plus your Dex modifier. Seven.
No, wait, it says 9. It is 9.
Yeah. OK, so.
Go ahead and roll me A also would actually what is your your
armor race class is 13 so how are you not getting hit by this?
So I would imagine I would hear you just sign all up as she goes
to throw it. Like what?
I look over my shoulder and I see it coming.
I'll just lean off to one side and it would just bobble in the
water. Oh yeah.
I would probably land pretty safely.
It wouldn't let. This is bad.
I'm gonna grab it. I'm gonna look at it like I
fucking knew it. I giggle and I'm like, ah, it's
just a little harmless fun. You look fine.
Are you looking back at me now hoisting the glitter bomb?
I throw it back at her. I'm assuming your armor class is
higher than an 8. I'm wearing a chemise right now
and nothing else. Oh.
I don't know. Oh, that's right.
Yeah, because you took off all your clothes.
Yeah, I wanted to wash up. I washed everything, I washed my
main set of armor, my main set of clothes, and I'm just and I
just put on the chemise for my secondary set of clothes.
So do you have any kind of like natural armor or anything?
How so? No.
Again, that's a natural armor. Let me let me Google it.
Quick I don't think. They do have anything.
Off real quick. An armor that can take up to
£1.00 of pressure. I mean, if you harden it, it
becomes leather, right? So there's that.
But it doesn't look like you're wearing anything else other than
this leather armor. So your armor class would be 10
base. I just took it off and put it.
OK, yeah. So the the the special like.
Negotiating merchant armor that I have is just just the same as
Leather armor. Yep, it would appear anyhow.
So my base armor is 10. Yes, and your A/C is 11 total
already without with the armor. So as I see it, fly past your
head like fuck, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Ting one of my forks. Does it work if he's submerged
in water since the fold the water have to do with anything?
It would muscle your Ting. I've only, like, knee deep at
this point because I turned around the throat back at you.
Describe how how you are tinging it off the buckle on my belt.
I got in the water, clothes and all because I'm completely
covered in glitter. Yeah, I just yeah, remember
there was a turtle cleaning your hair so preciously was your can
get the sneeze over there? I figured you would have like
tried to submerge yourself as much as possible too, to try and
get the glire off. Was the I the reason I described
it that way? Yeah.
So even if you'd gotten to the waist height portion, if you
stood back up, then yeah. That makes more sense.
So you could have gotten like waist height, then submerged
yourself to the like, maybe the chest height, and then stood up
to throw the glitter and then tongue.
Yeah. So what I was thinking was like
I I didn't think the Ting wouldn't happen.
I thought the Ting would be different and if the sound of
your fork was different the time warp or time loop would be
altered. That's why I why I clarified as
well, because so you stood up and you're out of the water.
And you tinged it off of your belt.
So you see the glitter bomb. Ash and Flint.
You see Flint as well. Go backwards in time.
But forget about it, Flint. You're the only one that
realized that everything went backwards in time as the glitter
bomb is back in your hand and floating.
Actually, it's not in your hand currently.
It's floating in front of you in the.
That's that's how far. Back the water.
Yeah, I'm gonna pick it up and then I go, alright, we're gonna
do this again, right? I fucking do it and.
Again, I just say it's you look fine.
It's just a little harmless fun. Just misses, I would say.
So it lands. You dodge it slightly ash, but
it lands right behind. You can I try to catch it.
Still caught in the blast? You can if you roll a Sleight of
Hand. A nine, I'm going to say
probably don't catch it. OK, it lands then directly
behind you as you dodge. Slide it out of the way and it
slips through your fingers and your comfort and glitter again.
Second, a second layer in some parts that you haven't washed
yet. And I just say fuck it.
And I just like, step into the tub, into my shemeze and get
down and dunk myself and then stand back up and just get out
of the tub. Some of it still clings to you,
It seems like like a disease unable to be eradicated
completely. That's that's fine as long as
most of it's off. But now I'm standing there,
soaking wet in a white shemeze. Yeah, it's glitter stripper
cooties. It duffer leaves.
Yeah, but now you are distracted by other sorts of unmentionables
that are in front of you. God, you putting the wind in my
sail again. I just giggle and I walk off.
And this should be still leave the baby in the tub.
No, I have the. I changed the baby with me.
I don't just leave it. Good luck.
Good luck, baby. You'll be fine.
Just swim. Live laugh toaster bath.
Yeah, it would imply there's a toaster somewhere.
I also probably have like glitter footprints now because I
just walked through the pile of glitter with wet feet.
Indeed, there's a glittery wet feet print.
Just splash, splash, splash, splash, splash.
Not sure what kind of floor is this?
Is this a wooden floor? Not sure if that was also a
silver glitter bomb like the first one, or if it was another
color, but to answer your question, it is a wooden floor.
It's kind of a raised deck, actually, only slightly raised
from the rocky floor from the surrounding area, that is the
corridor hallway, that. Yeah, goes in between each of
the chambers as she walks off. I'm just gonna dive into the
water to completely submerge myself to try to get as much as
the shit off as I can. Fish scatter at your at your
instant jump into the water, swim back over to like this side
by the tubs. How much of it did I get off?
47%. Less than half.
I'm gonna start digging through the chest in the bedroom area to
just look for like a drying cloth or whatever.
You find in the chest that you first open a bunch of clothing,
actually a simple clothing, all sorts and different colors and
such that you can find in there. I'm.
Gonna just change into something dry and leave the glittery
shamese in there and I'm just gonna crawl into one of these
beds with the baby. Gonna put the wet shamese inside
the chest. No, I'll lay it over the top.
OK, gotcha. Get a stripped butt naked sit on
a rock by the water side and try to get all this shit off my
clothes. He's gonna be there for a while.
But Franklin, it looks like you were looking in this chest over
here. I did not forget about you.
You you're digging through and grab out 44 gold pieces just to
yeah, they shove into your. So I've got like.
Like a bandolier or something like that.
I will, I'm, I'm loading up on some gold and then the next time
I I'll kind of like walk by as they're having this kind of like
glitter bomb session. But you see Franklin is now
dressed as a as a contractor with a hard hat and like a high
visibility vest and like hammers and stuff like that.
Where do you the hemp? I don't know.
I just like the costumes. He's gonna craft them.
You go, you could probably find some of it sort of looking
things you find like a coconut shell that you put on your head.
Yeah, like a real shitty version of what he expects what a
contractor to look like out of what he can find nearby.
And like. A vest stuffed under this table
that was that that's actually green and not orange like you
were opening. But you're you're thinking you
could fix that later and you put the coconut shell on your head
and the vest on. I would guess that is got it.
A green vest. I walk by them as like she has
been hit in the like by the water with like and she was
wearing the the white Shemiz. And I shake my head and say time
to get to work big guy. And then I walk out and I go to
find some day laborers and purchase some construction
material. So you like, you go, you go all
the way up. And out the portal that.
Yep, you're. Okay.
Franklin's on a mission for some for some day laborers.
You walk determinately through the geometrical portal that is
almost kind of reminding you of some star charts before and out
the other side of the rock. And we're Imagination Land for
now, because you're back in the bar rather than trying to grab
everybody and switch. Sure, bookmark around.
And the first thing you do is you see Zach.
Oh wait, no, no, you're up in the other room.
You. You see your friends that
haven't come through the portal, including the passed out ones,
just kind of sleeping on the floor or the beds wherever they
could, wherever they were laid in the instance you go back down
to the bar. And your first thought is you
see a bunch of big burly dwarves that have been tasked with
building things before. Hell yeah.
Dwarves could build shit. I caught the a walk up to them.
Hello, gentlemen. And I waved my hand in the air
for the barkeep. Barkeep.
A round of frothy milks for my friends here.
My job. I ain't real interested in no
milk but and he. Where would you want Holds up a
hand to the barkeep and and says we can get it just about
anything we want here but because this is the neutral
ground but you know you know what might interest us on doing
anything for you would be some gold.
It's kind of a part and parcel here.
I take out all of my gold and I put it on the table.
The hell? It's like 170 gold.
You see the dwarf like, yeah, he did well, you see that over
there and he points to the other side of the bar and grabs like.
And the I'm five. I have these too.
I don't know what they do. He he you could probably roll a
perception Jake if you really wanted to, but he snuck 5 gold
off the top of that and say ohh yeah, that looks like enough to
do whatever we'd want us to do potentially.
I mean, what what are we talking about here?
I have a passive perception of 17.
Ohh, then you definitely caught that.
As he goes for it, one of my crickets jumps out of the pile
of gold and like snaps at his hand.
Hey, now we're on this trades bit here.
Do you have some sort of attack or something for them?
I'm just wondering before I try to roll.
They so it they what they do is. Once on each your turns, you can
cause the swarm to assist in one of the following ways.
It's it says immediately after you hit a creature, but it's the
attacks target takes 1D6 piercing damage from the swarm.
Or I could move them five feet in any distance, which is the
one I would choose. I would not choose to
intentionally harm them in this case.
Yeah, no, Franklin doesn't hurt people.
Ohh, okay. Well, the cricket on his hand
doesn't perturb him at one bit and he just goes, wow.
Yeah, yeah, no problem. I'm just gonna take this finders
fee for the work, you know, That's that's how it works
around here. It's like check, go ahead and
think that should have went through Insight 17.
It's actually a tie between him and the port.
So if it meets, it beats it. So he.
I don't know what that means. So you can tell for sure that he
he's he's he's probably being like any dwarf would be in this
portion of hell, which is shady as hell.
Yep. But that's fine.
I'll give him a look like I know you're lying, but I'm not going
to confront you about it because it's 5 gold and he goes, So what
it what was it that you need there, lad?
I need you to build a highest security prison.
Well, not a high security like a vault, so OK, I'll outline.
Do you have I have all the materials?
No, I need to buy the materials, but I have what kind of Volt we
talking here? So I've already got a room and
I'll sketch out what we have and I'll just point out what really
only needs to happen is this quarter here railing needs to be
replaced and then replaced with some sort of wall with a big
door and a lock. And then maybe, like the inside
might need to be like restart. There's some kind of metal in
there. I didn't really check it.
I thought I did, but I didn't. So there's like a metal coating
around the inside of this place and we just want to close it,
close it up here and make it so that nobody except for us can
get in or out unless they ask really nicely.
Well, have you considered And? He's looking at your sketch and
then he takes takes may I and he points to the thing that you're
using to make the sketch with. Of course it's crayons and.
He's he just he just he just points to the entry area.
Would make a little bit more sense to me anyways if when they
came in they went to this area here and he points to the where
all of the stored goods are and that we were to build just two
smaller walls here. And so the issue with that is
that we would have to move through that space in order to
get into the rest of the facility.
Ohh, I see the problem right. Then the the easiest thing to do
is to take and block this and he draws a line across the the
tunnel that goes to that first space and make a tunnel to the
second space so that you enter in through the bedroom.
That's might not be optimal for everybody's situation, but it
seems like it'd be easier to dig through material that's already
existing than make more material.
Yeah, that's totally that's totally possible.
That other area will have to be secured, though it only has a
small railing. Also, this is a magical pocket
dimension. I don't know if we could
actually carve it to the walls. Well, there's one way to find
out. Yeah, you wanna come here?
I will bring you guys or what are you guys said to take a look
if that's all right. Lilia, the guy that you're
talking to is the one of the that's been at the corner of the
bar kind of answering most of the questions and procuring the
rooms in the bar as well. He's kind of the a leader sort
and he goes well, I think I can take a look for you and give you
an estimate here. Great.
Let's do it. We don't have to go through the
whole thing. No, basically I would, I I would
just say though that you would have to hold the piece of your
necklace just for your own sake and he's giving you consent at
this point. So you you do go through and you
go in and he, he's a little startled at first, but he.
Sees. Yeah, it's really cool.
We just want it in a bat. Ohh.
OK well that was weird. Not much weirder than being in
hell though I guess. Any who, right?
So yeah, this looks like more or less like we tried.
And he walks down the tunnel down to the area and he's he
looks at the portion, yeah, the CV here and he points to these
two corners. This is a smaller bit of area
that we'd have to work with and close off.
Then this whole thing he points across over to the other side.
So it'd be it'd be a lot easier to just do, you know, close this
off. I Let's do off and then dig
through here. Yeah, I don't see any problem
with that. All right, let's do a test to
make sure we could actually dig through here.
I don't know what this material is made out of.
Yeah, well, Nina, looks like you got some of the the stuff right
here. And he just grabs one of the
pickaxes and walks out the tunnel right over here.
I look at him and nod at the free labor.
He goes, he goes, well, let me just check.
One second here and he takes like.
OK, I am 4-4 or five solid swings at it because he knows
that the first swing never works on stone and.
How loud is this? Ding, Ding, Ding, Roll me a
perception with disadvantage. Ash, if you were interested in
hearing, I would say that Flint would definitely hear it being
the only other one awake. 9. You should just come running and
just butt naked with a sword. Out and ash for sure you do not
hear it because you were completely.
I am asleep and engrossed in the comfort of the bed that you laid
into too, with the baby nestled in between your bosoms.
But yeah, he makes a couple dents in the wall and he goes,
all right, all right, it might take me take take us a bit to
put. It's a bit easier if if you
know, we get the appropriate labor force in here.
I'm running. I really like this idea.
Pistol and sword in hand. What the Hell's going on?
Hey bud, I wave it up. This is What's your name again?
Oh, I'm. The the Yeah, it's a big old
cock you got there. Fuck shit.
It's so weird looking, it doesn't curl like mine.
True fact spirals. The Dorf is just like staring
between the two of you. Like doesn't know what to do
with himself. I give him a thumbs up.
It's fine. He's just here to to look at
what we talked about doing earlier, but.
Better God, keep it down. Yeah, we just had to do this one
test here. I lower my I run off to him and
give him a hug. Thank you.
I try to like I I keep my chest in the same position, hugging
him, but I try to, like, pull my hips back.
I'm like, don't don't touch it. Oh God, don't touch it.
Anyway, so you guys have a good night, sleep, do whatever you
had to. I saw the offering she made
earlier. I hope you accept it.
Anyway, I am just going to work with my new friend here.
We're going to hammer out a degree bit and then you know
we're going to have maybe a little bit of downtime while
they get to work and we'll be all set.
Wait, I wonder if I could learn still shape.
That would make things way easier.
Well, we've got a person that knows how to do that, but I
don't think you can just learn that.
I think it's an innate skill really.
It says I could be learned by clerics, and I have a cleric,
but it's a fourth level spell, so I guess it's beyond me.
So yeah, I mean, anyone with it would be great because it would
really cut down on the amount of time that this would take,
right? Oh, yeah, great.
All right, let's go hammer out and remit my friend and make
this jail a reality, still looking like stunnedly off in
the direction of Flint the. My tail swinging between my
legs. I don't know if he swings that
way, but you could try. Oh, Oh no, no, no.
It's more so just to make sure that he wasn't coming back,
because that was a starting amount of appendage there.
Anyways, yeah, let's hammer out these details and we'll we'll.
Get you want some of it, I could go chop some off if this extra.
I I heard it's an aphrodisiac. He would appreciate that you.
See A magic trick? Here it is.
Now it's gone. Well.
Anyway, how much? Would you want to do this and
like, you know, make sure it's secure and like maybe like a
secondary locker or something like that?
Oh, I I thought you were offering that whole amount.
That's back in the bar over there.
My companions are already taking it all.
Oh, that's fine. Oh, I hope they there's still my
swarm in there and I'm not there to, like, keep them from
attacking. I'm just nibbling on everybody
in the. Bar.
We should call. So yeah, that hole about, that
hole about that seems fair. Great.
Yeah, it's pretty easy. And he just go out and go
through here and he's still holding the pickax.
Yeah. Is that a nice pickax?
I don't care. It's yours.
Wait, I grabbed some more here for your friends.
No, here you go. Here I have the pickax
background, hopefully my friends are still alive and walks
through the portal. Oh, yeah.
Bye, right. Hell yeah.
I'll move all of the boxes and stuff out of this away.
Seems like a good good point to end it though I think.
Yeah, to be figuring. All that hasn't spoke up yet.
Decks Time Zombie. Fishing.
Oh, I didn't see your message. Yep.
And mommy herself is asleep. Yeah.
Next time Zombie fishing? Zombie fishing.
We only got to pick the most ripe of zombies.
Oh. Look at that one.
He's so fat. Forget him.
That one? He's there.
That one looks like he could charge real good.
If we could put Harbor on then anyway.
I didn't. I didn't think you guys would
appreciate it as much, but I'm glad you do.
Yeah, I thought it was really cool.
We were gonna just fill up zombies without even checking
it. Like, just dump them in there
and the zombies would have been like, what the fuck?
Yeah. This place is really nice.
Kind of the the comparison to the good campaigns.
Dune. I figured it was about time.
I needed a portable apt. A mobile home.
Yeah, somebody called it that earlier.
That's good. I still like Pocket Rocket.
Pocket rocket's good. Yeah, it's.
It's. From it's.
Pocket Rocket Interestingly enough, this is actually a real
place like that exists in reality too.
I forget the name off the top of my head.
I hate to say that, but it's like this salt mine cavern
somewhere that that they've repurposed into being like a a
getaway that's a a tourist attraction.
Ohh, I know what you're talking about.
It's pretty cool. It's got like a Ferris wheel and
some other random shit in it. I have seen pictures of that
place. Yeah, it's been a while since I
I've seen it, but I I was like ohh, I need to make a D&D map
based on this place. It's so cool.
Yeah. That seems nice, yeah.
Ohh, you made this? Yeah, yeah.
Ohh, that's cool. You bought this up region.
Nice. Nah, I probably I I made this
one my CE. O ohh gosh, I'm so excited for
our zombie wild card. I don't know when we're gonna
use it, but I don't. I I just know it's gonna be
great. Ohh, my gosh and can we can we
can you throw the rock like a pokey ball, like zombies?
I choose, you throw. The rock probably I will say I'm
gonna just point out there needs to be like a little like dig out
dugout area so that eventually when we do need to open the
door, someone can like open it and then close it, close
themselves into this little safe space so the zombies run
straight through. Ohh, I see what you're saying.
Because somebody's got to open the door.
Yeah, Otherwise you just like throw the rock and the zombies
wouldn't come out. Right, but it's gonna be
awesome. You'll have to give us a
guesstimate of how many zombies we can shove in there, Sardinum.
I don't know. Right.
They're dead. It's not like they care about
comfort. Yeah, we could strip their flesh
off so that save space just makes them skeletons.
Yeah, I think that the the dwarf, the the no name dwarf.
He's got a name. I swear he's got a name, but I
didn't want to say it because I can't fucking remember it.
Angle dwarf. I've said all sorts of different
names for this particular guy I feel like too, so I didn't want
to give him like a a fifth or sixth name at this point.
But yeah, I think he's going to have some ideas on that too.
A variation of it because the metal walls are going to be some
some interesting contraption of the on the sort and maybe have
some sort of decompressible thing on the outside of the hole
to press a release button. That'd be fun, yeah.
I mean like if we could then if we if we can build it.
To essentially be a jail set like a a vault slash jail and it
like not just a a holding cell for these zombies.
Then we'll have a a useful room from now on for either storing
our wealth or storing our recently acquired individuals.
Yes, individuals. From other realms, a room full
of mimics. Oh yeah, since I'm a cleric,
would I have any idea of the power of like a lead lined room?
Oh, from. Radiation on us?
No Divination. I think it is, isn't it?
Yeah, If we're going to figure out if we're, if we're going to
try to like, get ahold of these other people from other
dimensions and work. To figure out what's really
going on, we're going to need a safe room, a room where nobody
could find us no matter what. And I think a lead lined room in
an alternate dimension is pretty good.
Yeah, that sounds great towards that effect.
I would, I would probably say Franklin knows it, something
towards it because of his past and Yep, the direction towards
how he escaped from his past. Yep, to some degree at least.
Yep. As this is constructed, he'll
never stand inside it, which I'm doing right now, but that was
just to move those boxes. But as it's being like finished,
yeah, I understand on my list list to deduce it's a good
alteration to the place minor. Comparatively though, cuz I was
like putting this all together based off of that real world
place and I was like, I wonder how they're gonna use this
because we'll find out. Chaotically.
Yeah, I mean a giant bathtub. Slash swimming pool.
I don't know what we'll have to do with the center part, but the
beds are cool. All the nice squishy beds.
So was the hammocks upstairs for, like, servants?
No. I mean, I honestly, I honestly
put those in very, very last minute to the rest of this
because that doesn't exist in reality.
And I was like, man, what would I put in between these two
things that one connects them and two, is usable and there
aren't any hammocks in the rest of it.
And I was like, man, I I I don't know.
I don't know. I just really love hammocks.
They're going there. Yep.
Good choice. They worked.
They did for a a a glitter bomb, in fact.
Yeah, I was like, I've gotta try this.
He's asleep. I'm gonna Dick with him even
though I failed. That was a good, I don't know,
wasn't a fail. He still got covered in glitter.
Yeah, it was a good it was a it was a good falling upwards.
Yes. For the story.
Alright Naids, I think I'm gonna let you go.
I'm very excited for our future. Life is a zombie, herders.
Yes, it's gonna be great. Have a good night.
Good night, right? A grand and wonderful thank you
for those who took the time and made it here to the end of the
episode where I know sometimes we are long winded and others we
are just dead silent. I don't know what to tell you,
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