Hello fair listener, welcome and thank you for following our
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Crag. Crag.
Welcome to the legally distinct Secret Invasion.
Beow, beow, beow, beow, beow. So for everyone listening, I
assume this is for people who are listening.
We are going to be playing a short one shot.
Not one shot. A short, shy shot short shy
shot, Short shot shot shot featuring featuring a number of
our players, not as their characters in the game, but as
themselves in the real world post eurythmic veracity.
So we're going to go around in a circle, even though we are not
currently in a circle. We're going to go on the order
of discord and introduce ourselves and what class we are
going to be playing. So we'll start with Jesse.
Yep, my name's Jess and I'm playing as a Druid.
It seems the most closely aligned to my actual person, so
I figured that made sense. Perfect.
Josh or Justin? My name is Justin.
I am playing as a rogue. I love long, long walks on the
beach and stealing from people that don't deserve it.
Perfect. Double wish us.
Olivia, why don't you introduce yourself so?
I'm Olivia. I'm playing as a wizard, yeah.
I don't. I cast spells.
I know a lot of things, and I cast spells.
No shit. All right, Josh.
Yep, I'm Josh playing as an Artificer, Cleric, Monk combo.
Triple threat? Yeah, and you better recycle or
I'll shoot you. Or I'll shoot you.
Oh no. You'd hate my mind.
We know who is. We know who the murder Elmo in
this group is. Don't.
Frighten me with a good time. All right, Vamora, I can't
remember which person you are in reality.
Brianna. Yes, Bri.
Brianna. I am also playing a wizard and I
just want to floor the world and see and understand as many
people and cultures and things that I can.
Perfect. What's your class again?
Wizard Back fellow fellow wizard Oh, what's your school?
Yeah. So they didn't.
There was only one choice, and it was the one that starts with
an EE. Vocation.
Yeah, that one. Gotcha.
So that's not worth it. Considering your background, you
should really consider meta magic.
Yeah, probably. Oh, I went with divination.
Nice Divination is excellent. And then Barrett.
I'm Barrett. I'm playing a Ranger because I
love nature but not as adept to magic as a druid.
And you know, animals are cool or whatever.
And whatever. All right, perfect.
So we're going to 1st right after the last eurythmic
veracity for everyone that was right before Halloween, so
Halloween weekend. So after everyone got home, sat
down, a few weeks pass and that's when things begin to
change and well, OK, so first we're going to back out.
We're going to see kind of a a planetary view of Earth and a
little bit of text entry text kind of starts on the end.
How many arrhythmic veracities has there been, Josh?
Good question. There's been right.
Mean ones. 6. I, yeah.
And I think there's actually been two this year and so 2
total 4, yes. No one of them.
We didn't get to the arrhythmic veracity part, remember?
We just did the good and bad campaign and everybody got too
drunk to continue. Oh yeah.
Exactly. So, yeah, sorry, sorry about
that guys. Classic Free it.
Was. Well done.
Many thanks to our bartender. I am too good at my job.
That's excellent. I love that.
So I mean have we had, we've had like 4 events, but I think
actually only three of them have been successful.
That is. Correct.
OK. Yeah, that.
That was why I bowed out this
past time. You know, let you guys get to
the game. It's fair.
So in the in the view you see planet Earth from afar, a little
bit of text that says Earth #3 and next to it a date which is
10/28/2023. I think that was the date or the
1029 one of those days. And then, as soon as it clicks
over, suddenly reality itself seems to tear, shake and bend.
And then the number next to Earth becomes #4.
And over the next couple weeks, everything seems fairly calm.
However, a number of news stories begin breaking this
breaking the network or breaking reality, not reality.
There are a number of breaking news stories.
Yeah, that's the word, the order of the words that I wanted.
It seems that everyone on the Jeffrey Epstein list that was
suspected of being in his little black book was found over the
course of several weeks to have been hung in their homes.
Good. The police, upon investigation,
couldn't find any signs of a struggle or forced entry as all
of their doors were securely locked.
And then number of weeks pass and then a number of other
murders begin to pop up across the country.
Specifically, a list of every single sexual predator in the
United States systematically being haunted down slowly, one
by one. Now, can everyone please make me
a Arkana check? Can't be good at that.
My God, this is starting off amazing.
Hell yeah, Barrett. Not for me, I.
Got it. I'm just rolling our continent.
This isn't Yep. Oh.
That's a plus.
Cat. Nice.
I got a dirty 20. Got a dirty and a net 20 in
here. Love it.
Oh yeah. I was gonna say.
Didn't show up hold. On.
There we go. Sorry.
Oh, you fucking son of a bitch, you.
Know. +7 and not 9. Oh.
Jeez, I. Feel your pain doing.
Well, in Arcana. Poor with your pain though,
'cause I I I got a + 5 and I got an 11, but what is happening?
So Barrett and Jesse, over the first month in, over the course
of the month of November, you each in your own way, will come
to start to realize that that strange dream you had where you
seem to be in another world, even though it's hard to
remember, just nagging at the back of your mind constantly
until describe for me how the both of you realize that
actually happened and that you discover that you have powers.
Discover that we came to the realization that it it really
did happen. That it really that rhythmic
really did happen and that you have to a limited degree your
powers because well you would have your powers but you're you
would be like in the like self discovering them.
So I feel like I'm making it wouldn't feel like.
I've actually never been to 1, so.
Whenever one of you has something or, we can just get.
Well. I I would think that it would
probably like come to me just like in the middle of the day
out of the blue, when I would just finally like realize like
that actually fucking happened what the fuck?
Like I also tend to have those moments where I'm just like, oh
wait, hang on. Like I'm I'm really in the zone
doing something and then I just get a blink in my mind of that
was real and I'm. Like.
Wait, what? And I don't know, I'd probably,
I'd probably do not save things and Dick with shit.
Like, what can I do? Go to my garage, see if I can't
light shit on fire. If I discovered I had the powers
of a Ranger, the first thing I would do was would be summoned a
familiar. Oh, what are you summon?
I want my puppy from my family home back.
All right, so in your living room or wherever you are
currently, when you realize this, you you think positively
hard on your your puppy from when you were a child and a
tearing sound begins filling your ears.
As in front of you reality. The air itself seems to warp,
bend, shift, shake and then finally split and this little
puppy jumps through and wags his tail.
It's exactly the puppy you remember.
So excited. It runs around and he falls onto
his belly and like, yeah, does all puppy things.
Oh my God. Hey.
And I missed you. Jesse, about a day after you
come to this realization and you do a little bit of personal
tasks in your garage, describe for me a time where you would be
home alone during the day. Most likely on a weekend day.
OK. While the husband's at work
probably be like the middle of the day around noon, I'll
definitely be awake and alone then.
Right around noon on a Saturday, you get a a knock at the door.
The doorbell rings Bing bong. I don't know if that's how your
doorbell sounds, but that's how it sounds.
OK. What do you do middle of the day
Saturday? Someone's knocking on your door.
I would first check the window right next to the door to see if
I knew who it was. So you peek your you peek
outside and you would see someone standing there in front
of the door wearing what appears to be a weird medieval style
blue Cape hood covering his head, their head from the side
profile. OK.
This Cape kind of cinched at the center with a band of what seems
to be like a utility belt of some sort, probably purchased
from like Home Depot. And they're they're just kind of
waiting patiently at the door. I'll stand back behind the door
and I'll call out and just be like, who is it?
Hey Jesse, it's me, Matt. My camp from D&D.
Does it sound like your voice? Yes.
I would then be like OK and open the door.
Just randomly in a different state and standing there is me
dressed up differently. Seems that I've swapped out my
normal gear for what seems like kind of utility gear.
High laced boots. Definitely made for being
outside utility belt. You can see, like I said, this
kind of blue kind of drapey cloak covers your my head and is
cinched kind of at the waist so it doesn't flow and like have
the potential to get caught but still being like a cool Cape.
And I just kind of wave and I say, hey, we talk a second.
I kind of like look around just like outside.
And I'm like, yeah, come on in. Great, because it looks like you
your face. Looks like my aunt is my face.
Yeah, yeah. I'm just like.
Come on and. I'll let you in.
So I'll enter and then sit down, kind of enter or like lean
forward, say. So I take it.
I know you've discovered that you can light things on fire
with your mind. Is that a good way to put it?
I kind of just like lean, like like lean in a little bit and
I'm like, maybe why did you light something on fire?
I'll. I'll snap my fingers and a like
a burst of flame will appear above my hand, and I'll cinch
it. And one thing you might notice
as well is I'm wearing a torque, something that might seem
familiar from your game, from the game you play on Tuesdays.
With me. There's a physical object that
I'm wearing. So let's be straight.
We don't have a lot of time. I'm on a mission to break free
of this place, and I kind of gesture around the real world.
It's boring. I want to leave wondering if
you're interested in coming. Like leaving this place, Like
leaving the states, like. The United States?
No. This reality.
You know how like you you, you've you've woken up right?
You. You understand this isn't the
only world that the the the game that we play, It's real.
The people there are real. It's a real place.
I kind of just look at you and I'm like, I'm pretty sure I'm
just delusional because I want them to be real.
Look, where where is the bag that you had for?
You're the Mcferrasty. Where's the stuff you brought
back with you? Can you go get that?
Also, can I grab a water Thirsty?
Yeah, there's there's water in the kitchen.
I point you to the kitchen. I go down the hallway to my
bedroom and I start digging through my closet for the like
overnight bag that I had taken with me.
Perfect. And I just like I I I walk into
the kitchen and I have the bag with me and I'm just like it.
I haven't used this bag since then.
We haven't gone anywhere. Yeah, I kind of figured I reach
forward. Can I?
And I hand it to you. Thank you.
And I open it up and rifle through, and then you see me
pull out a particular item. Seems like endlessly dark silk,
that that blackest of black that seems like a void in space, but
it's a bolt of cloth that seems to have that.
B is this void, but has sparkles of light twinkling throughout
it. What?
Do you remember this? I stare at you for a second and
without saying anything, I kind of like reach out to touch it to
see if I'm actually seeing it. Because like this whole time I'm
just like, I'm recognizing all the things that you're saying.
But my brain is still like kind of clicked in, Like this is the
only boring reality that we live in.
I get it thing. He's talking about is a game and
now you've just pulled out this item that is real and in your
hand and I'm like, I am tripping.
I am actually insane and I just want to touch it and see if it's
real. I I I let you touch it.
I'm still holding on to it, but I like.
A big giant smile cracks across my face and I lean in.
Magic is real and we fucking have it.
We can do anything we want. We can go anywhere we want with
this. So question is, how do you want
to go? Do you want to be free of this
shithole? I kind of let out this big sigh
and I just kind of, like push both of my hands back through my
hair and I just look at you and I'm just like, I guess let's go
Because I mean, I'm leave if if this is real, fantastic.
If I'm actually just insane. I'm still leaving, I guess.
Well. We're not quite.
I'm not quite ready to leave. I have a few things I need to
tie up. But if I can borrow this, I need
you to not remember any of this conversation because.
So let me explain a few things about this reality.
I'm currently being hunted unjustly.
You know, all those people that died recently, the Epstein
people and all the sexual people and murderers and all that crap.
That was me. Oh.
There's an organization here. It's run by the government.
And I say that like you can hear it in my Yeah, you can hear it
in my voice. The government.
Like government? Yeah, I'm clicked to the social
media so much I fucking hate it. Yeah.
So they have a secret branch that's intended to stop people
like us from doing what we want. They want to control us.
They want to control everything. So we're not going to allow that
to happen. But to do that, I need someone
to be on the inside for me and when the time is right, act in
accordance and then we can go, because there's some things that
I need specifically from them. OK, OK.
Yeah, I'm on board. Let's what are we what?
What are we doing? What are we doing first?
Perfect. I look at my watch.
We've got a couple minutes left. Firstly, I pull out an item.
This here. You're going to need this.
It's a You see me holding what appears to be A9 iron, like a G9
iron, like a golfing club Here. This is called the chicken
whacker. You're going to need it.
The chicken. Whacker.
OK. It's a magic item.
Just keep a hold of that and bring it with you.
So you're going to forget all of this, but I don't know how to, I
don't know how to do this. You you you just got to bring
this item with you if you can, if you remember.
OK, bring the Chicken Wacker with me.
I just make a note in my phone, like right in front of you bring
Chicken Wacker and that's all I put.
Perfect. All right.
Every day. Bing.
Like take. Chicken Wacker Grocery Store.
I need my Chicken Wacker. All right, perfect.
And then I lean forward. I'm going to have to cast a
spell on you, OK? You're not going to remember any
of this. OK, wait.
Yeah. That's what we want me not to
remember. You just convinced me.
I did just convince you. I've been in denial for days,
and now you want? You're going to have to convince
me again. You realize this?
I will have to convince you again, but I need you to bring
this item. It's vital to my plan and I need
you not to Remember Me, otherwise they'll know.
I update my phone to say Vital Chicken Wagger and I was like,
OK I guess, I guess forget me not here we go.
All right, I reach forward. Touch each of your temples and I
cast a modified memory and I erased the last 15 minutes of me
ever being here. So in that kind of spell, do I
just, like, kind of, like come to myself standing in the
kitchen holding a Chicken Wacker Golf Club?
Yeah. So I mean I would probably have
you sit down wherever it was you were previously.
So it just kind of like I I can essentially replace the 15
minutes of memory. So I replace it with a very
important item or package gets delivered.
You go open the door, see that it's the chicken wacker, but
didn't put the note in your phone because I want that to
stand out so when you see it later it'll like trigger
something. OK.
OK, OK, all right. So several more months pass
fairly calmly until we get a series of cutscenes.
An agent stands in a hotel room, combing his hair, getting ready
for the day. He steps out of his hotel room,
walks down the hall, greets those He passes, and as he exits
the building, he freezes in place, as if unable control
himself. And then suddenly, from above, a
flat of bricks falls directly on top of him, killing him
instantly. In another cutscene, a woman is
driving, talking on the phone, looking at a strange device that
seems to be pinging and suddenly a piece of lumber from a truck
in front of her. The string cuts and the lumber
falls back and it falls directly where she is perfectly and
killing her instantly. There's a hotel room or a
hospital room where a young man stands sits next to the bed,
holding the hand of his mother and the nurse informing him of
her condition. As he steps out the nurse, you
can see a silhouette pop into existence in the hall, a robed
figure and a small kind of bright flash of magic as
suddenly he disappears again and the nurse walks back into the
room, a glazed expression over his face and eyes, slightly
glowing, holding a pistol. And he raises it and shoots the
individual five times in the chest before coming to looking
at the gun, realizing what happened, and then shooting
himself. And then finally, the final
cutscene. It's night.
There's a woman walking forward-looking at another one
of these strange devices that are pinging in the rain.
She's out in nature, in the woods somewhere.
There's grass as she kind of steps forward.
Following the signal, she sees a soft glow ahead of her on what
seems to be a strange mound or hill.
As she approaches, she notices and makes a log of what appears
to be the beginnings of some sort of portal or something,
which makes sense. This is a location that's very
close between the realms. As she begins to make these
notes, she's not paying too much attention to the portal itself.
It's not typical that these become active so soon, but in an
instant, suddenly she freezes in place as she is unable to move,
failing a save even though she didn't even make one.
The portal widens and a skeletal arm reaches out and grabs her by
the throat, and the scene ends. The next day you all wake up to
a letter at your door. The letter you've all received
recently in the actual mail. I don't know if I have that easy
access to read. Josh.
Do you know where I could find that?
Is it in the Google Docs? I did make, I did make a Google
doc for it, but I I see I know perfect all.
Right, and it reads. Dear individual, we are pleased
to inform you that you have been forcibly drafted into the
Intermentional Defense branch of the legally distinct Wizards of
the Coast Society, not WOTC. It has come to the attention of
the Council that you have been introduced to the wider infancy
via the rhythmic veracity as the only team located in the Midwest
of the United States that has recently, recently met with
their untenly demise, your assistance in a magical
incursion in the Columbus, OH region is demanded post haste.
You are required to tell no one about this top secret magical
society or the incursion, and you will be assigned A-Team
during your briefings. Let's see.
And then if you accept this, if you accept this charge, place
your right in or right thumb on provided box and there's a
little box in the right hand corner to be teleported to to
briefing room. You would all get this right
away in the morning. It would be sitting there right
on the interior or right outside your door.
The paper is thick and it has kind of like a mystical kind of
backdrop to it that you kind of see in the in the letter itself,
which I guess I could post in the thing if you guys want a
direct link. There you go.
So what do you guys do? Those of you who those of you
who did not succeed their last role, go ahead and make me
another one as you get this letter.
What? What do you want the role to be?
Arcana and what is success? So the success is going to be
14. OK, got that role again.
Do I roll again? Somehow I managed at 11 twice
in. A row.
I mean, Josh, I will. What?
So the rest of you kind of come to this snap realization that
the dream you had was real Upon touching this letter.
Something about it sparks that. Josh.
You don't get that spark, but you do get the contents of the
letter. So.
You could in. Curiosity.
Try to use it, but I will let you decide how you want to
handle this. The rest of you come to the snap
realization the shit was real. All right, so I came to the snap
realization, I get this letter, there's a knock on the door.
You know, I get the letter, I throw it on the counter because
I'm currently making lunch. And I guess, you know, the snap
for me was, you know, I was making lunch and a knife fell
off the counter and I caught it mid air and it was on the handle
side And I'm like, wait, what? Like that was completely like
I'd never done that before my whole life.
Why would I even try to do that? It just seems it seemed like it
was the right thing to do. I'm like, all right, hold on.
All right, I chucked it out the wall.
It sticks right into where I where I threw it at.
And then it kind of it occurs to me and I and then I come back to
this letter and I'm like, start reading it.
I'm like, what? Going through down it.
And I mean these things can't be coincidence.
So I start packing up my stuff and getting ready to head out to
this door to this place called Discord at 7:00 PM sharp.
I don't know where it's at exactly.
Apparently I'm going to be told. Yeah.
Perfect, Brianna. How about you?
OK, so I am like running late for work.
And I rush out the door and like see the envelope on the ground
and I just, like pick it up and like put it in my car with me,
like put it in my bag, get to work.
And I realize as I'm like walking through the kitchen,
like through the kitchens, like, you know, grabbing glass racks
and silverware and stuff, like all of a sudden I just can't
understand what everyone is saying.
Like, I've been studying Spanish for, you know, I've been working
on my Spanish, but all of a sudden I just naturally know
what they're saying, like with ease.
And I like, I'm like, huh, how, how?
And so then I go back to my bag. I grab the letter and I like, go
back into like the back corner of the restaurant and like sit
down with this letter and I open it and I read it and I'm just
like and I just push my finger on there because I just, I want
answers and I don't want to be at work.
So you. Know literally anything but
being at work. 2 + 2 equals. All right, let's find out what
happens. Let's push the button.
Not being at work. I mean, what's the what's the
worst that can happen you float? No you you press your finger to
this pre designated space, this box and from.
Under it. Sorry.
And with it being in the Columbus, OH region, I
automatically think back to like, the people I know in that
area. And I'm just like, all right,
yeah, let's see what this is about.
All right, Sorry. Go ahead.
You're good. So you press your finger to this
box and you feel a sudden warmth out of your hand as suddenly the
script, the magical script underlaying underlaid in the
page itself, lights up and kind of like in a radial pattern from
your finger. And suddenly the edges of the
page begin to burn. And then suddenly it it stands
towards you and you are engulfed in fire for just a split second.
Though you feel no pain and with a loud quick you disappear.
You will get written up for work.
For vanishing after clocking in. Oh darn.
He's been clocked in for three days.
People. Will get fired.
People will get fired for that. Come on.
All right, Olivia. Yeah, so I'm assuming I find
this letter when I get home from work, so it's like the end of
the day. That's when I like, go home and
take my dog for a walk and I check the mail and I grab it so
it sits there for most of the night.
So I open it. Later, when I'm opening all the
mails, I'm sitting on the couch with the beard.
I'm reading it and I'm like forcibly drafted.
I don't know about that. I'm going down and you're
required to tell no one about this top secret thing.
I was like, well, this top secret should have a cover page.
Like there. There's no markings.
There's no, there's no crazy. These top secret people don't
have very good practices, like standard practices.
Yeah, that's probably not actually very secret.
So I keep breathing, you know, like Columbus, OH, Ohio.
I have to go to Ohio for this shit, reading it, just like I
don't. Do I have to deal with this
right now? I don't know.
And I just kind of like put it in the pile of the other mail
that I don't just immediately throw away that continue with my
evening. As you continue.
With your evening, you you begin hearing a sound coming from the
pile. It begins to shake and rattle.
Not rattle, because it's paper. It begins to shake and pages
begin to fall onto the ground as you think to yourself, maybe I
should invest in like a a drawer for my paperwork.
And the letter itself flies up into the air and begins speeding
directly towards you. What do you do?
It begins lighting up in the the lettering in the back, as if
drawn to you like a magnet. This is the government You will.
Comply. It does well, I guess.
I guess I don't have a choice here.
I don't know if I would touch it.
I feel like the last thing I'd want to do is touch it.
Yeah, I don't know. I'd look at I might like go into
the kitchen and get like a pair of tongs to try to grab it.
All right, as you try to grab it with your pair of tongs.
Roll me either. A Dexter?
Acrobatics. Whichever one you're proficiency
with. Sleight of hand.
Sleight of hand? Yeah, that works.
They're both the same world dexterity, my teeth.
Nice. I'm going to give mine a + 4 14
+ 418. You win as this thing kind of
whips around. You do a little dance with it as
it's trying to get. It's trying to get contact with
your skin and you managed to nip the very edge of it with a pair
of tongs as it now feebly tries to like like pull itself towards
you and out from the grip of the tongs.
And in a second, we're going to do another check to see if it
pulls itself free. What do you do?
I just hold on to it. I'm just, I'm looking at it.
I'm like, God damn it, because obviously if I let it go, it's
just going to fly at me. A mouth appears on it.
This is the government. You must comply.
I'll just look at it. I'll shrug my shoulders and be
like, well, like I did sign my life away on many pieces of
paper. So I guess I should have
expected this. Could have known better.
I'm just going to look at it, though I'm not, I'm not going
to, like, touch it. I'm still just going to look at
it and like, look at look at the darn.
Give me another contested check as it tries to pull.
A What check? I guess this one will be a
Strength check because you're trying to hold on to it.
OK. I got a 9 + 4 so.
Oh my God. 16 You Destroyed Me. It's It sits there feebly as the
mouth opens again, but this time a little quieter.
It says comply. If you want to join the
adventure, comply. I'm just going to look there at
it and just like very unhappily touch the box.
You feel a warmth. Under your finger as the as the
lettering from the letter lights up and you burst into flames
with a crack and disappear, still holding the tongue.
Wonderful. All right.
Jesse, how about you? So I would probably get the mail
or because somebody knocks on the door, right?
And then I find the letter. Yeah, yeah.
I was going to say I forget how you described.
It. I'd probably go pick it up, look
at it and I was like, well, if I'm getting this and I get the
rest of the mail and just start going through the mail and
divide it up in between my stuff and Johnny's stuff.
That's. Like those?
Yep. And I'm just like OK and I look
at it and I'm like, do I want to open this?
This seems weird because it's weird.
I open it and I read all the stuff on it and the 1st and I'm
like looking at this, I'm like this is suspicious.
Does it trigger anything right away 'cause the very first thing
I would do is look at it and be like I think this is a scam and
would take a picture of it with my phone and then do a reverse
Google image search to see what would pop up.
That's true. Well, so you already know that
you already have a strong suspicion or a sneaking
suspicion that all of this is real.
The only thing that happened was you had your memory modify of
that particular conversation you had.
So touching it, go go ahead, give me another Arcana check
with advantage. 13. It's not like a lightning flash
moment, but you do still have your previous suspicion of
everything, so I will let you roll this however you want to.
Does my memory come back at all from our conversation or is that
still gone? That's true.
Let's see, why don't you go ahead and make a Wisdom saving
throw for me? 25. 25 I wouldn't say so.
The memory itself doesn't come back, but the knowledge of a
some sort of foggy something, especially combined with the
chicken wacker and the text that you have of it, you would have a
strong suspicion that like something's going on.
You could attempt to break the memory if you would like to with
one more check. I don't actually think that I
would. I think that I'd be like, OK,
there I, I, I, I, I know I can do magic now.
I just got some like, magic invitation and I have a magic
chicken whacker. And Connie just looked up at me.
And I have a magic chicken whacker.
So I'm like, like, I feel that like niggling in the back of my
mind. And I'm like, I need to take
this chicken whacker somewhere. So I go to grab my purse and
it's, it's just a little backpack.
And I put a couple of extra things in it and I grab the
chicken wacker and I like, get dressed and everything.
And then the next thing I grab is for some reason I'm just
like, I'm going to. I also grab my metal baseball
bat from beside my bed and then I'm like, OK, I'm going.
To I'm. Going to touch this letter and I
do the thing on the letter. You feel in the middle.
Of the hallway. You feel burning like a warming
sensation under your finger. A burning sensation, even as
something about this letter is is is contesting with the arcana
in your of your memory and the the letter lights up and with a
crack and a flash of fire you vanish and disappear.
I assume you did not tell anyone where you were going.
Nope, because I'm going to guess that I'm at the house by myself.
I probably pet the cat while gathering the stuff.
Excellent. Yeah, just vanished.
So somebody would come home and find our lovely new chicken
wacker and my baseball bat and my purse missing along with
myself. Yep.
OK. All right.
I think Barrett, let's see it. Barrett.
Yes. I mean, when I would get a
letter that tells me that the government wants me, I have too
much anxiety to go against that I am that person that, like when
driving, if there's a cop nearby, I automatically think
I'm breaking every single law possible.
And I don't feel safe until I don't see them anymore.
So they told me they want me. Yeah, no, they're gonna get me.
I'm not fighting that. Fuck that.
Immediately pushing. And the record.
Kind of. When you could summon my dog.
So, like, that's a little bit strange.
And now there's a secret society.
Yeah. No, absolutely.
I'm like, I'm like slightly overthinking it in the way of
like, did summoning my dog, like, break every single law in
existence that I didn't know was a thing?
You. Need to register your your
familiars? Yeah.
Like I am just in me pushing I get it's not a button but I'm
going to call it the button. Yeah, in record time.
Barrett immediately pushes the button, feeling it warm beneath
her hand, and with a crack and a flash of flame, she disappears.
Josh. I guess I would look at the
letter and think, I think I remember writing this letter.
What the heck? This is kind of weird.
Why did I get? I don't remember sending myself
this letter. Give me another Arcana check as
you begin getting a splitting headache and in your ears you
begin hearing a tearing sensation at the fabric of the
world. Too many dimensions. 1111 You do
remember writing this letter and you realize everything is real,
though you would only technically have the memories up
until rhythmic. So if you wrote the letter
afterward, that's a different timeline, though I imagine I'm
doing this in other timeline so it still would have happened.
I think I had the idea around that time, but I don't think
that I would have written it around that time.
We'll say the idea works just as well.
All right. Because so yeah, I think I had
the idea of writing this letter, but I don't remember writing it.
And I would, I would probably look around and probably grab a
few things before I go. I'd probably like just with the
the understanding that it's taking me somewhere, then I then
other than here, just as I would grab my coat before I went out
the door and fill in my pockets, make sure that I have everything
that I'd want before I go, including some some simple
things and probably some more complex things like a crossbow,
a little hand crossbow. Nothing, nothing like super
powerful or anything, just something to have by my side
because it was in the next room. And probably hold on to Demi for
comfort while I'm pressing the letter.
Perfect. And as you're kind of moving
around your your place, picking up things, packing your bags,
grabbing Demi, can you make me a What is your passive perception?
It is a 15. 15 one second. That's Passive Wisdom, actually.
Technically, Passive Perception is 12.
I apologize. 12 Wait, how does that make sense?
Wisdom. There there's.
A passive. There's a passive Insight and a
passive of Perception. They're both poised and based,
but it just changes based on whether or not you're
proficient. Yep.
Got it? All right.
So as you do this, you don't really notice anything.
However, I need you to make me a Wisdom saving throw as you
suddenly feel a spike of pain. Shoot in the like in your mind,
almost like a sudden migraine. Oof 4.
You're going to take 3D. Eight damage, six points of
damage. Psychic as you are doing this
and you have a weird like tinnitus E sound ringing in the
back of your ears, but you may continue packing as normal.
Continue to pull my jaw back and forth like my ears are popping
on an airplane and go. Must be Tuesday.
You press the letter, you feel the warmth, and with a crack and
a flash of flame you vanish and you all appear here in a small
room. Those of you who did this at
like hours apart, I'm just gonna say we're put in some sort of do
it all or call me all stasis of teleportation and blah blah
blah. Everybody arrives at the same
time. So the rumor around you, this
appears to be a basement room of some sort, about 5:00 10/15/2020
5:30 about 50 feet in in in width maybe. 75.
In in length. It's darkness.
OK. Darkness.
Hello Darkness, my old. File spread does.
That work? How do I how do I bring their
tokens from one I brought the players over to the next thing?
You brought the tokens here. Let me I.
Can see a like a blank screen. 'Cause you can copy and paste
the tokens and the other thing you might need to do is turn on
day on the map. Did that help?
I can. Be a visualization of my health
bar. All right, let me see day.
Where is day? If you're on the bookmarks and
you right click on the bookmarks.
Yeah. Well, not on the bookmarks
itself, but on the page I guess. There we go see something.
Fog of war is the answer. Gotcha.
Yeah. That'll do it all.
Right, so you guys all mysteriously and magically
appear at the same time room. You see three individuals in the
room as well. And just a brief description,
it's about 50 by 75. There's a large TV screen on the
North End and some lounge couches, what appears to be some
sort of store in the top left hand corner, a series of boards
and charts to the right pool table, small kitchen, large gong
of some sort to the left, which is weird.
And in the corner, a series of computer monitors that an
individual is watching. And in front of you, someone who
looks remarkably similar to Samuel L Jackson, but with one
distinctive wart on his face to make him distinct.
And he turns and he sees you adventurers.
I don't know how I I can't do a Samuel L Jackson voice.
Too many adventures in this motherfucking play.
I can't do it. I can't.
I can't do it. I'm.
Gonna. Look around.
I'm gonna look around and be like, whose mom's basement are
we in? In the corner you hear a snort
and a snicker from the young lady who's sitting monitoring
the the, the, the computers as she kind of says under her
breath. I swear, I've said that 1000
times. You guys look around and you see
each other. You recognize each other.
You know who you are. You've seen and met each other a
number of times. A good.
Thing I say is no one touched that gong.
I really want to touch the gong. I think it's going to take us
the wrong places, Samuel L Jackson.
Not with birthmark. Tell us what?
What? What's going on here?
I'm. Samuel L Jackson, Legally
Distinct. Are you all here?
Because the World as We Know it, he's in danger and we need your
help, any points at all of you, very dramatically to seize the
day. So are we The Avengers?
We are. Maybe not yet, but I think
you've got potential. I think he's.
And you're our only hope. Apologize.
I kind of just like bubble under my breath.
I'm like, we're fucking dead. Legally distinct adventures.
Legally deceased.
Or for sure. The.
East. The LD Adventures.
Yes. I'll let you guys take it off
for a second if you want to like do anything or say anything.
Why are you on the pool table over there?
The advantage? Yeah, I'm.
I'm trying to shoot around who will.
Choose them. Who's them?
Yeah. Height advantage, yeah.
Very, very true. But looks like they have one of
those those sticks that you have, the, you know, the little
guide sticks. So we're good.
Is there like a shelf with a collection of movies or
something? The screen is huge, like in home
theater. Anybody, I mean.
That'd. Be fun.
A lot of the. Time.
We're just waiting for people to get back.
So we, you know, we watch reruns of The Office Adventures.
Please. Don't rifle through our fridge,
we. Well, now that you say it, now I
want to. I don't know.
Did you label all the items you brought?
Is your name written on things? If it's not labeled, it's free.
Free game. You open the fridge and there's
like the most delicious looking sandwich in the world,
completely unlabeled. It's got one of those little
toothpicks with like the olive sticking into it, But that's my
my, my make believe wife made that for me.
It's OK. You can be proud that you're
good at making. Sandwiches.
Yeah, you're allowed to make sandwiches.
You're allowed to be good at that.
Kind of looks here, unshifted Lee.
This is not going thought it was going to Lee.
Adventurers, I need your. Help the world.
Is in danger. Hold on, hold on.
Sam Jackson before we do that, sure I.
Think. I think you need to start
explaining some things to us. Hold on.
We we need, like, team music. Is this the jukebox over here
where I'm at? As as he as I say that I cast
Detect Thoughts. Oh.
Sure. Oh, OK.
So I ask. I like I'm like, hey, think you
need to start explaining some things and then cast the tech
thoughts and like try to read what he's thinking.
All right. Of certain creatures if anyone
creature you can see within. OK.
So as you focus on him and you say that you hear him in his
mind kind of just be like I I would if I could, I could but
that. Guy's trying to.
Dance and that guy's on the pool table and that guy's going
through the fridge and new adventurers and you can hear him
like mentally shaking his head. Do you want to dig deeper?
Yes. 100%. So to dig deeper, it is.
Oh, what is it? Duke.
Duke.
Deeper.
They have to make a yeah. They have to make a Wisdom
saving throw. All right, wisdom saving throw.
I don't have a snap block for this guy, so I'm going to say
he's the leader of this organization, so he's at least
slightly wise. I'll give him a + 2.
Is that acceptable? Sure. 20 He succeeds, and I
think, does he know that you? I spell save is 15, so he
definitely succeeds. The spell ends, The target knows
you're probing. Yeah, fix the seeds either.
Either way, yeah, they know, OK. So about that music?
What? So we're talking about Spotify.
YouTube. I don't know Indigo shadow over
here. She only uses SoundCloud.
This. Is a SoundCloud jukebox kind?
Of it's more like a computer with like 810 screens that seems
she seems to be monitoring as she kind of like glazes or
glances over the monitors. It goes from being fuzzy to
suddenly clear, as if she's doing it with her brain.
OK, she turns to you. Hi, I'm Indigo Shadow.
And then she strikes a pose. Oh my God.
Like Animal Chair? Yeah, going to.
I'm going to nod and look over, continue looking over her
shoulder at the screens to see what I can learn, OK?
Roll a perception check and then meanwhile Edward Stanley Morgan
AKA Samuel Jackson knows that you probed into his mind and he
just turns to you and he says you're going to need those spell
slots. Little Missy, you shouldn't be
using magic so Willy nilly. It's hard to come by in this.
World. So what other skills might I
have that I don't know about? You.
Cast the spells. You you cast the spell.
We'll discuss that in a minute. Hold on, I have to wrangle the
others. Any kind of delete?
This is over. Back to the music and the and
the perception check. With A10 you can kind of see
that she seems to be keeping an eye on what seems to be the
exterior of a building. You figure probably this
building though from your perception check you only get a
brief glance and can't get and don't really gather more
information about where this may be.
She then kind of pulls SoundCloud up and puts on a
hopping beat, which is going to be what is that one band?
She puts on some cool beat you've never heard of and she
nods along, says I'm Indigo Shadow, the Divination Wizard
here or stationed here to keep this place safe.
You're being very rude to my boss, but I dig it.
Just going to nod and walk away. I have not, like gone around
anywhere. I'm just kind of like standing
there looking around. I've got my bat over my shoulder
and then I'm just kind of holding the Golf Club down on
the ground like it's a cane looking around.
I started looking at this board over here.
This the gong. No this little like whiteboard.
I want to look at the gong cork or whatever it is.
Yeah. So on the PERP board you kind of
see some scattered notes. Go ahead and make her
investigation. Check for me Nice.
With a 25 investigation, you kind of pick up on the fact that
these all of the events that are on this board and there's a
series of news clippings, all generally about a series of
murders that have occurred over the last several months.
A number of very high profile names actually as well because I
believe there's there are some presidents on there, Not all of
them have been taken out, but a fair number of them.
There's also, with a 25 a very blurry photo, Gray from a street
Cam, of what appears to be an individual leaving a building
wearing a large cloak and what appears to be some sort of mask
covering their face. A band or sash kind of cinches
their waist. You get you.
You see this and you think, man, that guy stands out quite a bit
in the downtown. I'm also.
Going to walk over to this board because it's like piquing my
interest the most. Try.
Because it seems like it has the most information based off of
everything I'm looking around in this room.
Do I recognize anything on that board?
Go ahead and make another Wisdom saving throw.
And at that point, Edward Stanley Borgan or Samuel, I'll
just call him Stanley L Jackson, It's like.
And then he kind of like raises a finger.
I have information, OK. I mean it just kind of shuts.
Up 22. 22 Yeah, seeing the fuzzy image, you get a a sudden rush
of of memories as you remember the conversation.
I'm just going to like, blink for a second and then just like,
point at the picture and be like, Oh my God, that's Matt.
Just blurt it out. I turn her.
I'll say. Matt.
Everybody turns. Wait, are you?
Are you are you talking about like the Matt from like
Franklin? Yeah, Franklin Royalson, Matt He
all right then. I kind of like, hold my head for
a second. I'm like, he came to my house
and asked for water and he was dressed like that.
Edward Stanley or Samuel L Jackson quickly move, Swordy
says. Excuse me, do you said you
recognize this individual? We've been trying to find him
for months. I send a message directly into
Jesse's head. Shut up.
I I kind of just like, look, to what are we calling him, not
Samuel Jackson. Did you call him Samuel L
Jackson? I'm just.
Going to rename. Him.
Yeah, Sammy, like. Stanley or something?
Like, listen, Sammy, don't worry about it.
I'm friends with lots of people. Doppelgangers exist every day.
Yeah. Make a make a Persuasion check
with the OR a Deception check with advantage as you kind of
like look suspiciously, huh? Thought you said you recognized
him. Huh.
Yeah, I guess people dress like that every day, he says
unconvincingly. Obviously never open.
I was like, aren't you ever on Instagram or TikTok?
There's tons of people that dress like that all the time and
they look great. Are you judging?
Don't judge. Obviously, never been to a
renaissance fair. That's.
Exactly what I was going to say. Yeah.
Like he pulls open. He.
Pulls open his phone and opens up Tik Toks.
Turns it around and shows you and he says there's too many,
there's too many people dressed up on this motherfucking app.
And then, yeah, go ahead. At this point, I'm sitting on
the couch, my back to the big old screen at the top, kind of
like darkens my face a little bit.
And then I say, Sammy, so are you going to tell us why we're
here? Yes, yes, I will.
Yes. Why don't you all come down to
the lounge chain, the lounge chamber, the the sunken lounge
chamber steps. It's really cool.
Yeah. That's nice.
Feels like this. This living room's from like the
70s. Yeah, this place is actually an
old renovation from I shouldn't tell you that this is a secret
location. Don't tell anyone where we are,
if you know where we are anyway. Do you go mid century modern?
Love it. Beautiful decor.
You're going to finally watch a movie.
Before going down there to the bar, it looks like to me,
although you did say something about a seller of some sort.
I'm not sure what I'm seeing behind the counter then.
Yeah, so you see, is this like? Liquor or so you see a jumble of
items. Part half of it seems to be
dedicated towards liquor, the other half seems to be have
vials and containers of a various different liquids.
That might be specialty cocktails, but interestingly
there are also guns or not guns. There are like you know weapons
up there and some tokens that are like kind of in on like a
little plaque and the individual here looks like.
He did. Basically a a bartender if they
were also a mechanic. He turns to you and he says,
How's it going buddy? What can I do you for?
Pretty good, buddy. Well, looks like we're about to
have a serious conversation, so I'm going to definitely need one
of those drinks you got back there.
Sounds good. Make it a quadruple.
I I. Yelled.
Hey, get a round for everybody. Yeah, yeah, we're going to
everyone. Rounds for everyone.
You're here. Shots.
Shots.
Make it jello shots, because I think that's just how this
rolls. Cool.
That'll be a few. Hours.
Because like I need to make the jello shots.
Oh, you don't have jello shots just on the ready?
Oh, kind of bartender are you? Anyways, so no.
Hold on, I got this and he starts making like stuff to make
jello and then he uses a spell chill touch and then it becomes
hard and jello like it's been sitting in the fridge for a
while and he divvies that up and he says jello shots are on the
quick. So as as.
Marvelous. I'll.
I'll be your bar back for that and you just grab.
I just grab all of the drinks and start walking over to the
entertainment center. As the bartender's like doing
his jello jello thing, I kind of like glance at all the weapons
behind the bar and kind of like kind of try to figure out if
they're like if they're like locked, are they behind glass?
Like, are they locked down? Like, is there anything, You
know what I mean? Are they loose?
Could you just, could somebody just grab them and, you know,
pocket them or put them, you know, hide them, whatever.
They are not locked down. This seems to be somebody's home
base. I mean, like, they're on, like
their own little pedestal, you know, if you were to have like
your own gun rack or not gun rack, but like a utility shelf,
like you would typically see in like, the action movies.
So no, they are, they are wide open to be stolen.
However, this individual is standing right here and he kind
of turns to look at you and he says, how about, wait, wait,
where are you? No, that's not you.
That's Brianna. He turns to Brianna.
OK, so yeah, you would notice they're just kind of open and
free turns to Brianna. How about you, little Missy?
Sorry, That was not a very kind. How about you?
Yeah, I was like, excuse you. Sorry about that, I'm old
school, but I'm trying to reform.
Are we? Are we sure this guy isn't on
the list too? Yeah, I was.
I was just going to make myself a drink because, you know, jello
shots aren't really my thing. Sure, he'll gesture you towards
the area of liquor, but kind of like stand in between you and
like the rest of the stuff as he just casually sits here and he
says, nice day, huh? Wonderful, I say very
sarcastically as I quickly make a Margarita and then walk away.
I can't. Move Jesse, by the way.
Oh no, I. Place I, place I, I, I step over
the back of the couch. There you go, nimbly and place
all of the thoughts on one of the stools or ottomans or
whatever you call them, and pass them out to everyone.
Oh. Yeah.
Indigo Shadow join, she says. I fucking love jello shots.
You should be able to move your token now.
What are these called, by the way?
And I point to the bartender for getting their name already.
I mostly call them chill jello shots.
Sammy kind of shakes his head. So are we are we taking the
jello shots together or is this just kind of like go at your at
your at your will? I figured Sammy here, Sammy J
would inform us and then we'd take the jello shots all at the
same time, potentially. Sure, Sammy J Sammy J stands up
all cool. He turns and he has a remote in
his hands and he clicks a button and you see a video and he turns
to you and he says this organization.
He clicks it and a small video begins playing of a introduction
to legally distinct Wizards of the Coast.
It's very governmental issue and very boring, but he talks over
it. We at the legally distinct
Wizards of the Coast have a very simple job.
Stop extraplanetary and extra dimensional incursions upon our
in the world. He looks at all of you.
Earth doesn't have a lot of magic, and so if magical
creatures are able to burst through and occupy space here,
well, it could spell disaster. So our team, any kind of
gestures around, well, we're what remains of our team.
And you look sad and you look at the others and they all also
look sad. Our job is to find these
locations and close them or find these portals, these tears in
reality, and seal them before it's too late.
He turns to you and that's where you come in.
Recently all of our team except for the people in this room
mysteriously died and he points at the board, we think by that
person or where they were killed by that individual who were
hunting. Wait, why?
So what? Why?
Why do you think that person killed them?
Well, they there's been a series of murders across the country
where this, an individual has been spotted.
And they all have the same it's similar to the model, say.
It's similar to the model which is, which is where all of them
died in unexpected ways, unexpected ways.
By sheer chance, it seems. That's not that's that's not a
great piece of evidence. People die in unexpected ways
every day. There's nothing nefarious.
And he looks at you, but magic leaves a trace.
If you went to these locations and were to cast to detect magic
spell, you could see that there was magic being cast in the
area. So we know that it's not a
typical murderer. Wow.
OK, so out of that, that's evidence I can work with.
Well, there we go. Did any of these Did any of
these murders happen to have something in common?
Yes, they all tied by chance. Otherwise than that, oh, any
connection between the people? Have you looked into that at
all? Yeah, most of them, most of the
world. So some of them were all killed
and they were on our team. They were on our team.
So that's a connection. But otherwise it seems that, you
know, we we're not the FBI. We don't really know.
But it seems like some of them were on the the the Epstein
Black book that was recently released, built by Congress.
You guys should check it out if you haven't.
There's some very shocking names there.
So he's saying all this and like, while he's talking about
all this, I pull my phone out when I start, just like, tapping
away and looking stuff up. I I I turn to Sammy and I'm
like, yeah, I've seen the list. I've seen the news.
This seems like all sexual predators and I've seen list
people seems like all around a A+ to me.
A thumbs up to me. Yeah, I'd agree.
Yeah, I'd. Agree.
I finished. He believe in justice.
He. Believe in.
Justice. Licking the inside of my jello
shot, and I looked at him over the rim of it.
Him over the rim of it. Yeah.
Justice. Yeah, justice.
We are getting a little bit. We're getting feedback.
Yeah, that's from Olive. Oh, is that from me?
Weird, OK? Can hear myself.
I sound so nasally. I don't.
Know. Is that back?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Far so good. So if you had somebody you know
detect magic and you know know there has been magic used, is is
the magic similar or is it all the same?
Is it a specific type of magic or did?
You often times we would be saying.
That and not didn't actually have anyone go do that.
He looks at you. Of course we had someone go do
that. That's how our agents were
killed. Most of the magic seemed to be
what type of spell is hold person.
Oh shit, I don't. Before.
Let's see, Enchantment. Yeah, it was heavily heavy on
divination and Enchantment. There were some scenes, some
instances elsewhere, where it appears that Evocation magic was
used to cause significant damage that you know, resulted in some
weird event that killed these people.
Normally by like you know, like a piano falling on them out when
they walk outside of a room or like a A they accidentally fall.
Off I chuckle when he says a piano.
Like I try to. I try to like not do it very
loudly, but he just says it and I just kind of let out this tiny
little like snort. Chuckle.
Just. Staring at my phone.
Don't look at, I just kind of look at him.
I'm like, wouldn't that be more like transmutation?
Well, I guess it depends on how the person was killed.
Say if they were like, you know, held in place, you know, when
they left the building and then the piano was pushed out a
window from up above, you know, we're we're just spitballing
here at exactly what happened. We sent some investigators to
look, but they were all also similarly murdered, we think.
You think? Yeah, we're pretty.
Yeah, we're we're. He gestures around.
We're really the only three left.
So you. Had people go investigate the
murders of these sexual predators and then your
investigators got murdered in the same way and now you're
bringing us in. But not to investigate this he
says no not to investigate that that that's a high now a higher
the FBI are now involved in that one and they've got clearance on
that once once poor President Trump.
He says not poor President Trump but since President Trump and he
says RIP, they've taken clearance of of this case.
So we're back to our daily grind of of making sure that portals,
rifts and tears in reality are properly taken care of and
closed, which is why we've brought you here today kind of
gestures at the TV screen. Earlier this morning we had a
incident where we had a ping location for a potential rift or
tear location and we sent our last, our last agent out to go
check it out. And here you can see their,
their, their, their Cam because they have, you know, like one of
those like chest Cam things like police have because then we can
see what they're doing and he hits play.
And you basically see that final scene that I mentioned of the
individual walking through the rain in the woods, approaching a
portal, freezing and then a hand extending out of a portal, a
skeletal hand and grabbing them. And then the camera cuts out,
freezing, and then we're getting a little echo.
But. Yeah, I was just about to say
and grabbing them. Sorry.
I had to do that. Camera cuts out and you want us
to find this rift and close it? Yes, and contain anything that
might have escaped. OK, so Sammy, more important
questions here, How much were you getting paid 'cause?
I. Don't, Yeah S.
Well, the United States government has, If you were to
agree to these terms, a complete list mission, you'd be able to
be a a full-fledged member of an agent yourself.
It comes with a stipend of a yearly salary of about $550,000.
Does that include this open bar 3?
$1000 per year salary. Yeah.
I think I don't know what FBI people make.
Let me let me look that up. What kind of benefits are we
talking? No, I'm.
Cool. Best benefits?
I'm cool. Have a.
Magical benefits. Magical benefits.
This is what we're being offered.
If you if you are able to succeed at this job, prove that
you're capable as agents and wish to continue in the same
capacity, being able to close these these riffs and portals.
I don't remember this guy's name, but does it include
Terrence here at the bar? Can I can I have a Terrence to
fully open 550,000 and an open bar?
Sounds fair to me. My name is Jack, the Mechanic.
Sorry, Jack. No.
Problem. Yeah you can.
You can make your whatever you want, but you can't touch this
stuff because it's it's the only magic stuff we've got and you
have to talk to the boss before being able to use it.
Oh, I know how to sweet talk, Sammy J all.
Right, Sammy, you told us the the pay as a quote, UN quote
full-fledged government employee.
Get anything up front because what if we go there and we just
get killed? We don't get anything.
I don't get anything for my family.
I can't send any money back. Like, I guess I'm up for a
payment. We could we?
Sure sure we we'll we'll we'll we'll make a trust in case you
die. If you if you die in the realm
of service your your family will get a stipend for the rest of
their life. How's that there?
There's a whole series of very standard governmente type
contract deals that for this. You.
Sure. Insight.
Sorry. No worries.
Oh, not great. 12 against my I don't know what it would be.
Not deception. Option or persuasion.
OK. It depends on depend on whether
it's true depending on if it's true or not.
You can tell he's being genuine. He just he's not the numbers guy
and he's being he's very flustered by talk about
contracts. He's the he's the team leader
Sentiment into battle kind. So all this talk of contracts
has kind of caught him on the back foot.
But he says, I'm sure we can come to some sort of mutual
agreement that works for forever ever.
Everyone. And I lick my Do you guys want
the secret universal healthcare that only government employees
get? What's the co-pay?
$0.00 They actually pay you? Yeah, yeah, I'll take that.
That's why it's expensive for everyone else.
You get paid for getting hurt. Yeah, $1000 Cope negative $1000
copay. Every time you go there you just
get $1000. If you have to see the doctor,
it's great. Comes.
From the taxpayers. What are our travel options
here? So is there a way I could
possibly like? He just teleported us here.
I think we can just go wherever we want.
Yeah, could could I possibly teleport to my apartment and set
up my cat feeders and then come back and be good to go?
We can send someone to your apartment.
Actually, he turns to you, Josh. Actually magic itself is quite
rare in in in this, in this plane of reality.
Those teleporters were some of the last teleportation scrolls
that we have. We have any gestures over to the
wall, a small stockpile of of magic items and scrolls and and
and potions that we could offer you and you're in in in aid of
of this adventure, of this or not quest of this mission.
But in general, we there's not unlimited magic here.
Let me get this straight. You just want us to find and
close these portals, right? And contain any threat that
might have emerged from them? Yes, contain.
That's it. OK.
And try to do so quietly so the general public doesn't find out
and cause widespread chaos. So no fireballs, Wizards, OK,
Yeah. Sure.
Let me just let me just write this down for you.
Here's the mission. So you keep adding.
Can we get Can we write this down?
Can we get it written? So can we sign it?
And take make sure it doesn't keep growing before general
public finds out what is going on.
Is the only thing that I find some sort of issue with.
That's a government speak. Yeah, we don't really have like
a mass modified memory type of option, so we really just have
to do this as quietly as possible.
Now normally these portals. They're they're not too
dangerous. It's like a couple creatures
might pop through here and there.
We've never really had anything really dangerous or threatening,
he says, looking directly at the screen, breaking the 4th wall.
Yeah, we don't know that. We just saw that hand.
It didn't actually go through. Maybe just.
Determine if anything is. Withdrew back in, you know, this
is, you know, this is the standard mission pamphlet.
You know, not every mission has. Yeah.
Like every every mission is
different. Sometimes, you know, they came
through, sometimes you don't. This is just kind of like the
standard you know do. You have any information about
these portals or just that they have been cropping up?
I I. I also look to my companions and
say I think a couple of us could probably do that modify memory
thing that you just mentioned. But like on a wide scale, like
city wide just. Send a letter to everyone.
They open the letter and poof. Sure, but also the teleportation
scrolls we sent you are some of the last that we have.
That I understand. That's not hard to.
That's not easy, so. It's.
Teleportation scrolls we it's. True, We tried that in the in
the late 90s, a mail campaign to actually modify people's
memories during after the not in the 90s, after the Clinton
assassination. But it was a complete failure
and we went through all of our magical reserves and since then
we've been strapped for for magic.
Yeah. So it seems like the best course
of action is to go there, do the thing if I had anything, kill
it, and then we just deal with anything else after the fact,
like. That is perfect.
Yeah, that's a great approach. All right, so I got a question
for you. How do we get there?
And you got any equipment for us, 'cause all I have.
And as I'm saying this, I'm twist.
I'm like spinning this kitchen knife with like, raw like.
Deciple juice pollinated. In my hand, I'm like, you got
any equipment for us, 'cause all I got is this like doll kitchen
knife. Sure, we used to have a Rogue on
our team, so he he'll direct you to over.
He. No, he'll direct you over here
and he'll say you'll be able to gear up with oh any any basic
gear that you need or could think of here.
As well as we have a few other items that you may use, but you
have to go talk to Jack because he's a separate character.
Yeah, good to know. Any other questions, gang?
Oh, also the transportation. We have a a very nondescript van
for you guys to use. Oh man, can we?
Don't even have a helicopter or a plane, man.
No, no. Weirdly, most senators don't
believe that this branch of the FBI is worth keeping around.
Because we, you know, we try to keep everything secret and under
wraps and they just keep cutting our budget for military
spending. Also probably open those
letters. Also, can we put a sign on it
for free candy? Is there is there any candy in
said van? Yes.
Axe. I mean, you could I just be very
wary if you put free candy on the side of your van, you put,
your van might get blown up by whoever this individual is and
he points at the board. Oh, that's true.
A good strategy though to try and lure him out and maybe.
He nods. That is a good strategy.
Indigo right down on the board. Writes it on the board.
We'll get him this time, boss. All right.
He's slippery, that one. I look over at at Josh and I'm
like, the hell dude, I thought we were waiting to take our
jello shots. I look at his jello shot that is
apparently not taken. I go.
Are you going to finish that then or?
I say don't fucking touch up my knife in my head.
I just look over to Jack another round.
You look over and see that he's been diligently working on
making more. There's a a small pyramid of of
jello shots that have been made. Now you look over and see that
he's been diligently working on Sammy Jago's.
Any other questions before you get started?
Good man. Obviously not killed that time.
Yeah, where are we? Oh yeah, that's a great point.
The ping location for the portal where this individual
disappeared is the Hopewell GPS cord.
The Hopewell. Hold on.
Oh my God, that's the. Name Hopewell.
Cultural, Natural Historic National Historical Park just
out about an hour South of Columbus.
It is, yeah. Historically, a lot of a lot of
portals open and in specific kind of regions that I, for
whatever reason the ancients knew were close to the the.
I don't know, the borders between the realms were thin.
I'm not an astrophysicist, I'm a team leader.
I again chuckle under my breath. Indigo rolls her eyes.
It's. Not an.
Astrophysicist, you stupid. She goes and sits down carrying
many jello shots. After that, after I let out that
on another chuckle, I just go ahead and take my jello shot.
I roll an insight to see if Indigo has funyuns or something.
She does and not funyun she has. What are those triangle ones
that you put on the ends of your finger bugles?
Mugles. Got mugles.
Yeah. I she does.
I she has a slide over to you go and have as many as I can carry
in each hand and I I just drop 11 handful next to where I go.
Can I exchange that for beautiful quantities?
She looks at you. She says, thanks.
Lick, sure. And she opens up a bottom
drawer, and you see the entire drawer is just filled with
bugles of different flavors. Which one do you want?
Oh my God. Oh, I can choose of.
Course, that's what life is about.
Choice. Well, I don't even know bugles
that well. What are these other flavors?
I just know the original. Oh well, let's see.
Let's Google bugle flavors. I don't know.
I'd like the cinnamon toast crunch, please.
She pulls that one out. That's my favorite for
breakfast. All I eat is Bugles.
I thank you. I remember this and I like pull
an empty zip lock out of one of my many zips on a backpack that
I have or something and I just start filling it with these.
I take a small handful in it. And start.
She leans into you and whispers don't tell the boss, but it's a
magically spelled drawer to be. Endless, endless bugles, baby.
Oh gosh. Into.
You and whispers. We're going to be good friends
and then walk away, spelled. Drawer to be endless, Endless
bugles. A little bit of an echo.
Yeah. All right gang.
Anyone else want to do anything here?
Any other questions? I'd like to walk up to Jack the
bartender mechanic. Kind of like just looking down.
I'm like, what the hell is happening?
Be like, you got whiskey back there, man.
I'm going to need it. I got whiskey, bro.
And I told that. Anybody wants whiskey?
We're done with jello shots. Now get over your first shot of
whiskey before we roll out. Hell yeah.
Do you have fireball? I grab a.
Tequila, I grab. Tequila.
No, it's like. I'll take a.
Shot I'm not doing whiskey. You see a little text and appear
I'll do in the air that says Jack the Mechanic Opinion Plus
10. We'll do every shot of liquor
that you can possibly give. Yeah, right.
You got rumblements back there? Oh yeah.
That's the GM. Ever had Pelinka?
I can't say that I have, but I'm willing to try it.
It's a Polish Ukrainian. It's awful, but I love it 'cause
it's awful and nobody's heard of it all.
Right. I also say that.
Everybody's here is a hipster. As as Jack's like pouring these
shots up for us, I asked him, Mike, heard you got some
equipment for us, maybe? I do, yeah.
The boss and he looks over and Sammy J gives him the nod.
Here's what I got. So any basic equipment that you
guys want to gear up with, armor, etcetera, feel free.
Obviously it'll be all re flavored.
You're not going to be wearing literal plate nail, so here are
the items. I will post them in the chat and
then I will say them out loud. For the people on the Internet.
A leather badge wallet that allows the user to flash it and
use their charisma times per recharge to have a target make a
Charisma check. A failed save will result in a
target believing that the holder has an entry level clearance to
whatever location they're at. Anyone.
Recognizes that item. I do.
It's also says legally distinct on the cover 3 potions of
healing, psychic. Paper.
One or one or one? Let's see one wand of magic
detection. 6 badges each with a one time use shield, generic
gear, a magical sword called the stabsicle, A magic plus one
dagger that when a target is struck by this dagger the
wielder can use their reaction to inject the contents of the
dagger's handle. Takes one action to refill and
must use a potion, so it appears to be a kind of like a needle
like dagger when the hilt is clear and you can unscrew the
end of the hilt and pour a potion into it.
Hey Jack, I'm gonna take those 3.
And then the four scrolls of arcane weapons or arcane weapon
which is AUA spell. Now this basically completely
clears us out. There's only one step.
Sickle, then. Oh, I think I want the shield
tokens. So I I turn around to the group,
get a little smirk, you know, kind of little grin like.
So whoever system was charismatic.
Oh, odd. Not me. -1 Oh no, Oh no.
Please tell me it's not me. OK?
I have a + 2 as well. You got a + 3.
OK, it's you. Yeah, I have a + 3.
Oh, roll off, roll off. Rollies.
Rollies.
Wait, what's the score for your +3?
1617 OK. There she is.
So that and he kind of packages those up and hands them over.
Well, you're out there. Oceans.
Good move well. While you're out there, if you
see any arcane items, bring them back so that we can juice them
for their magic to make more stuff, because that's the only
way you can get more magic here. I.
OK. I just kind of like glance at my
Golf Club and then don't. I don't say anything.
I just continue to hold on to it.
Beef finger guns, everyone. I bump, bump Justin and go.
Can I have one of those? I think I could recreate that
for some reason. One of those healing potions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll take.
I'll take one. You can have one, and then
somebody else can take one too. Also.
Cure wounds FYI so. Nice.
But I'm I'm only 1/2 caster, so like don't rely on me, rely on
me. If there are any specific items
that you want to make a case or an argument for that they might
have here, I will also hear that.
And I have the wand. But this is generally what they
have. So we each take one, correct?
One healing potion. I'll take one.
Josh got one. Bree's got one.
OK, just in case. That's good to have.
Oh, and also and he looks back at Sammy J and he gives the nod.
He pulls out from under under the table a locked box and takes
out a key from under a shirt and unlocks it.
And inside you see what appears to be a it's filled with dirt,
but coming out of the dirt, or what seems like dirt, Little
clumps appears to be some sort of mushroom glowing with a soft
magical energy. Those who have been to Eurythmic
can roll a history check to see if you remember what these are.
Just this past time. Any of them.
Fucking A My rolls are bollocks. Oh shit.
If it's hold on, if it's a history thing, I have a thing.
Yeah, I. Got a four?
I don't remember nothing. You got a four as well.
I also remember Diddly. Nice.
Hold on. Where is it?
Outside game, when I try to add a potion of healing, if there's
just a common one right? I can't find it on T2R beyond.
It should be Potion of Healing. That's the name.
Yeah, it should just be potion of healing on there.
Yeah, I'm seeing Potion of Healing, but all I see is
greater, superior, and supreme. I'm not seeing the OG like the
original like the regular. That's weird.
That is weird because it should be normal colored like
everything else. Well, yeah.
Like a? Common if they are all.
Bin Potion. It should just appear as well
Potion. Healing.
See if it pops up, you know. Just type.
Just type potion. It's all the fire resistance,
animal friendship, no regular potion of healing which is.
That's so interesting. Yeah.
That's the only one that's not like.
Or remember you have one. Yeah I got it written down just
in case. Like I mean I could do a custom
item, but like seems so much that a lot of work.
So we're missing 2 history checks yet, but with two
successes, 2 definite fails. Should I roll it because I
wasn't there? You.
Nah, do not roll. Yeah, it would just be the those
who have been there. So I'm not rolling.
You have a chance this. Will come true.
Depends. On what?
So. True.
Jack the mechanic pulls them out and he says these are the most
rare and magical items that we have.
I'm going to take one and cut it into small pieces and give them
to you because this is what's going to unlock your full power.
And like I said before, you've kind of all been like access to
your power, but not like all of yourself.
Lots, etcetera, low level stuff. But he pulls one of these
mushrooms out and those of you who do remember know what these
these are, these are the reality mushrooms that reality is made
out of. There are not many here, only a
few. It is Jack and they were in like
this magic sealed box that he had to unlock and he pulled one
out and he locks it back up and he puts it back under the table
and he cuts it up and he says this is how all agents are get
are initially activated and he hands them out to each of you
and he says if you eat this you'll gain access to your full
powers I. Don't hesitate and I immediately
go. That seems right.
Oh, I hope. So I'm like, all right, I'll do
the same. I'm going to wait like 5
minutes, see if anything happens to them first.
Yeah, something absolutely happens around them.
A golden set of runes on the ground appears with light like
shining from it as a wind seems to blow directly from the ground
upwards as they begin levelling up full.
I don't know how it is like the the Goku, the Goku power up.
His power's over 9. 1000. Oh.
God, we're yelling the whole time.
And a few minutes later the glow subsides and each of them
actually physically looks a little different Things as you,
as they seem to have levelled up some of some of the any, any
skin like blemishes, etcetera, kind of washes out.
Who do I lose own structures. You lose 15, you do lose 15 lbs.
Josh's like jawline sharpens. Not changing him what he looks
like, but making him look more like Josh, more him as you guys
look around at each other and obviously you guys individually
don't know that you physically have been altered, but the
others now see an objectively better looking pair of people.
Any extras of those? Holy shit and I'm eating it
immediately. A similar.
Got to take this opportunity. Do you see a post around the
wall fall down and there's an old dare post like thing behind
it? I'm just.
Going to just going to acknowledge this.
Is there one for everyone? In my mouth, yes.
Well, I'll take it too. Yeah, I'll set out a sigh and
take it. Justin, I need you to make me a
con. Save a.
Con Save. Oh, shoot, no.
Oh. No, no.
So Justin, you you fall to the ground and in a rush you
experience literally everything that your character experienced
the other day. All of the pain getting shot,
all of the memories all at once, and you fall down to the ground
and begin vomiting on the ground.
The power up process begins as you begin powering up.
You, at the end of it, are now fully aware of both your reality
and the reality of your character, as if you were had
experienced both and have the memories of both.
I I get onto my. Knee like rush over to him and
like just like hold his shoulders or something like
trying to like make sure he's OK.
Grab the mechanic says. Not cool, man.
I. I I like kind of like get to my
like one knee, push up off my knee and stand up like look down
my like myself and like wipe wipe the the throat from like my
lip and my beard. Like the first time that's
happened, I'll be all right. How do you deal with the fact
that all of these things just came into your mind?
What do you think? You know, know myself of
thinking about like what I've seen in the last, you know, two
hours and all this these skills, these quickness as reflexes.
I feel like I have now. I'm like, mean it makes sense.
I compartmental. I try to compartmentalize, like
because it seems, it seems like so much information.
Compartmentalize, you know, different things and try to like
focus on one thing at a time and kind of like at least at the
moment, bury it because like, I'll I can deal with this later.
There's more important things to deal with.
Perfect. OK, All right.
The others and I took mine. Immediately after everyone had
their transformation. That shit was awesome and I
wouldn't. That's right.
I think then go ahead. Sorry.
I was gonna say I threw mine in like right after he did, but I
saw him like flop to the floor and throw up and everything and
I just kind of like stopped mid chew and I'm like, do I really
want to follow this? The instant regret.
Like, God damn it, I thought this was going to be cool.
Those of you who have experienced the reality before,
do not make this save you get. The hold of.
Your power up, Yeah. Then you have to make the save.
I'm going to say I didn't. I didn't for him.
So I'm going to say save is 10. It's the Constitution.
Yeah, 5050 Chance. I also want to say, like before,
hopefully Fine took this reality stuff I I tried to send out a
text message to Johnny to just be like, hey, I'm OK out with
friends just so we wouldn't worry.
You know. No cell phone service down here.
Oh, so I would get a thing back that said like unable to send
message. Yep, you can try again later,
but currently you were in a a magically protected room and
there's no cell phone service. But you could try.
It says we'll send when when in service.
I'll just keep very annoyingly checking it every so often.
Just like Click. Is it going to send?
No. OK, damn it.
Barrett Yeah, you You also get a rush of all of your memories
from all of your characters. In a similar way, however, you
are able to ride the storm and. Through that much yet, we're
fine. And like someone going through
AK hole and just playing it like super smooth, like nobody
notices that you just went on a huge trip.
Sweet. Good to know.
I'm really good at taking drugs. In every world.
So yeah, you guys have all taken a slice of the reality mushroom.
You've all levelled up to level 8 in your respective classes.
Sammy J turns you all and he nods and he says perfect now and
he pulls out the device. Here's the pinger.
This will tell you where to go. The pinger.
Yeah. I look to him and I just kind
of, like put my hand on my chest and like.
Call it a. Is that inappropriate A?
Pinger. Just just check.
Why is that a? Blur.
I don't keep up with the kids language.
And I just kind of like scoffing.
Like, I can tell I'm just trying to make him feel uncomfortable.
He shakes his head. There's too many fucking kids in
this fucking room, in this motherfucking room.
Anyway, you guys should go, because every second you waste
means that whatever monster may or may not have come through if
it's more time to do or not what they're doing or not doing.
You're just not helping this case.
I'm a team leader who says I'm supposed to help?
All right, Sammy, before we leave, you got a bathroom here,
I'm assuming? Yeah.
Blow up this. Door.
Blow up the bathroom. Yeah, I mean, I got, I got to
make, you know? You.
Guys should all. Go just in case, yeah.
Actually, you know, I don't want to die shit myself.
Right. Where?
Where was it at?
Oh.
Just to the South, just to the South.
Root right there, yeah. Here, Yep.
All right, I'm in the bathroom and I'll be back.
Just before I go. To the bathroom?
I ask. Jack for one singular more 151
proof shot. Sounds like we're about to.
He nods at you. Hitting the fan.
And he says, brother, you're cool, take the bottle and he
gives you a bottle I. I see him do this and I'm like,
yo, where's my bottle? I've only got one.
Don't. Worry I'll.
I'll do it he. Looks at the the shelf which is
covered in bottles. Yeah, I don't know, dude.
You don't have like tequila. I've got some.
I've got some house gin. I'll take it.
All right. He pulls A dusty bottle out from
the bottom and he hands it to you.
I open and like take a like a whiff of it, see if it like, see
what it smells like. Smells like bad, Jen.
Don't worry, I got you. We'll get real fucked after.
This all right? We can, we can always infuse it
with something, right? Exactly, I've and I hold up the
bottle that I got. Yeah, what bottle did you?
Get. It it I'm presuming it says 151
on it. High Quality 151.
High roof at nothing the at least.
Got a fancy game on the label? Let.
Me add that to my inventory.
One shit bottle of gin. Never know when that'll come
useful when you need to start a fire.
Right. Breathe fire.
Custom. Or breathe fire.
It was always starting early morning.
That's playing on the on the Spotify, on the SoundCloud, but
like a cool remix version. From the ink spots and then I
followed Justin into the bathroom or maybe as he's
leaving the restroom, I don't, I don't know.
Well, that's like a bottle of burnettes.
You got me there. You're far more versed in your
gins than I am. Burnettes is pretty.
Shit. Bring out.
Yeah, that's the one. It's a plastic bottle, right?
That tells you everything you need to know.
Yeah, I think you can get them in glass, but it doesn't doesn't
make a difference. It's still, it's still pretty
awful. Turns to you.
What do you say again? Are you ready to go?
I mean, we've got the liquor, so I think that's it, yeah.
All right, you guys just go ring that gong and you'll you'll be
delivered to the to the van. We all.
I'm like trying to like gather up my stuff and like like put
like zip up my hoodie and like try, you know?
I I, I, I go to Jack and I ask him if he's got an energy drink
back there of. Course I do Nos.
Or would you prefer any pulls out four loco?
Oh. Fuck.
Yeah. Fuck yeah, I hand it over.
Fuck yeah. Four Loco.
Wait, what are Wait, what are the flavors?
Watermelon. Watermelon, Yeah, that's the
best one. I was like.
You don't have grape. Nope.
He can't press press the digitation on your on your thing
to make it taste like grape for you.
That's all right. I can accept watermelon.
It's the best use of this. Is it just?
Is it just one? No, we have a whole case because
you're just going to leave here with so much alcohol.
I. Just mean like, what is he
giving me? Oh, I was going to give you one,
but do you want two to double fist it?
Also, one of you needs to be capable of driving.
Yeah, I was asking for energy drink with that.
I nominate Olivia. I did not want to get drunk.
You need ADD for this adventure. I'll just take the one, OK?
I don't volunteer as DDI. Very.
Blame. I'm very.
Taken. What are we taking?
I very I very confidently volunteer as DD.
What was that? I got it.
I'll be fine, Olivia. Go back to us, Olivia.
She's gone. I call shotgun.
So you guys ring the ring, the the brass belt or the gong, and
with the reverberation you feel it kind of like vibrating
through your soul and suddenly everybody just kind of like
Tardises. Wall, Wall.
Wall. Out of the room and you guys
emerge in what appears to be a very small garage in it.
A what appears to be a van from like the 60s or 50s.
One of those, like vans with like the the Howling Wolf
painting on the side or like the Wizard painting on the side and
it has a logo on it that says legally distinct Wizards of the
Coast and it's Wizards LD, Wizards Wizards LD, and yeah,
the little pinger in your hand points S towards Hopewell
Cultural Center. It's about an hour drive if you
guys take off. You guys can let me know if you
want to talk or anything along the way.
I turn. To I want to.
And I'm like, I wouldn't stop at a gas station.
I need a regular drink. I would stick my head out the
window at some point. I I'm.
I'm in the back. I'm in I I I look over her as
she says that and I then I. Lean forward to the back seat.
I'm like. Hold on, immigrant song.
Or something asinine. Way to hell thought.
That was a magical van, God damn it.
Nope, just a regular van. But.
The gas never seems to go down. Oh, that's.
Oh, that's regular magical van. Holy.
Shit, I need one in real life. The government benefits of
working for the government and. Just talking to me.
Don't. Need that that's yeah.
So you guys are headed. You guys quickly get your kind
of directions after leaving this garage, which you naturally
assume is not in the same place as where the secret room is, and
make your way South along the highway to Hopewell National.
Wait. Can we stop for snacks?
You can if you want gas stations.
I don't want to snacks. Popeyes.
I get sour straws. I'm looking puppy dog eyed at
Olivia. Snacks, yeah.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Yeah. We can stop for snacks.
I pretend it's not on the back. It's not a wallet.
And pretend pretend to. So we're heading to Hopewell.
National. National.
So. Do we know where?
Do we know what that is? I mean, do you?
You can Google it if you want. You're you.
You're. On the phone.
Literally as I'm opening another tab.
Oh, it's an historical park. Oh yeah, Chillicothe, why don't
I know this? I should know this and so.
The hour passes as you guys stocked full with alcohol, open
containers while you're driving snacks from sheets.
Hey, we didn't see them yet, technically, Oh.
Hey, there's there's some breweries down this way too if
you want to stop. Just a quick burger.
After. After have whatever I want in my
car. Close.
Up person that we'll celebrate. We're gonna, yeah, we're gonna
have something to look forward to.
Afterwards. Oh yeah, yeah, no, not right
now. But you know, just like, no.
There's some decent ones out here.
All right. So I'm going to move you guys
over about an hour later. We'll probably get into the
introduction of this and call it because it's 7:30.
Well, we can do a little bit here until like eightish
whenever you guys are feeling. You mean 10:00 our time, but
Yep, right? Yeah, I was going to say, what
time zone are you in? I know.
I just looked down at my clock and I'm like, can he?
I was like 730. Two hours.
Man thinking that it's only 730 right now.
Mountain time, baby. All right, let me I need to get,
like, a little picture of a Van Van picture.
Perfect. Just.
Zipping down the highway, somebody hanging out the window.
Where are that a fire carry all my wayward son?
Oh, that's a good one. Full of children.
I mean, is it wrong? We are very much children.
I'm going to give everybody. Control all players.
And. We.
What? Oh my God.
Everyone dragged them in in different direction.
No, no, no, no. Captain.
Oh. Wait, yeah, I guess it should
just be Olivia, right? Yeah, Captain.
Yeah, I guess just. Captain Olivia.
Olivia always gets control of the mode of transportation.
She's driving. She's DD.
Yeah. DD in every realm.
Yeah, right. Literally.
Captain. Captain of Adunay.
That's fine. I'm good with that.
Although I think it's hilarious that.
Oh, no, it's across the street. That's.
Literally. Oh my God, I literally opened on
the Ross Correctional Interruption.
As well, I was like. Just got to zoom to the right.
We were, we were adventurers, but really they were putting us
in an insane asylum. Is that another thing?
You got them boys? Or Olivia.
Justin, welcome to Ohio. You're getting, you're getting,
you're getting your first introduction.
Uh huh. Yeah, I look.
I look out the window and I just like, shake my head.
Where the fuck are we at? So as you guys approach the
Hopewell National or Hopewell Cultural Center, you guys see
kind of like a light emanating from the trees from what you
assume is the the the center hold on on the street as you are
approaching at the bottom of the map.
Hold on you There are some. There are some guards out in the
street who attempt to flag you guys down.
As you approach, you can see the light coming from.
Run them over. Through the wood.
End of the trees. Now, now let's let's play it
cool. Let's play it cool.
We got that badge thing that I don't actually have.
Flash them. The flash them the badge.
OK, not. Flash the, flash the badge,
flash the badge. Dude, they stop us.
Yeah, they they they kind of wave.
They kind of frantically wave towards you and are running
forward. They appear armed, and as they
as they get closer, you can see men.
Most of them, there's probably three or four of them are
stained their their guard uniforms torn and slightly
bloody as they run frantically up to you.
Excuse me? And then they knock on the
glass. Are you sorry, man?
The road is closed. Ross Correctional Institution is
closed. You're going to have to turn
around and go home. We're in the middle of a
situation. Like to like just enough for
like sound to get through like. Yeah.
Well, I'm not going. To the the the incident is also
spilled across to the adjacent properties.
I'm not going to the. Crown Institution.
Unless you're authorized to be here, I'm going to have to ask
you to please leave for your own safety.
I want to observe flash them. I'll start to pull up my shirt
real slow. Very long.
As you're pulling, as you're pulling up your shirt.
Jesse. Jesse.
The. The.
The Book. And I'm like, oh, Oh yeah.
And then I just kind of, like fiddle in the in the backpack.
And I I kind of, like, coughed to cover up anything I did
weird. And I'm like, you'll find that
we are authorized to be here, do not worry.
And I flash the paper. I want to I want to like look,
look, look up and down his uniform and try to gauge like
like what his. Like.
Rank and like what? Like who he who he works for and
like what not. Go ahead and give me either
Perception or Investigation. Check.
All. Right.
Perception or investigation? Perception.
Investigation Yikes. I mean my passive perception.
That doesn't really work here. Otherwise everyone would claim
high passive when they're specifically looking at
something. I mean when you.
I mean when you look at this guy he he appears to be dressed as a
prison guard and you even see a little name tag that says Ross
Correctional Facility Todd. Todd.
God. And then you look at the next
guy and you also notice that his name is Todd And the next guy
and the next guy, everybody here is named Todd so that I don't
have to come up with different names.
For DM sake, I was about to like start investigating like that
seems fishy for. DM sake Todd.
The guard or prisoner or prison guard.
Guard #1. Which one?
Yeah, all right. They call me Todd One, this is
Todd 2-3 and four, it gets really confusing when we all get
together because it's a it's based on hierarchy.
So my name sometimes would be like Todd 14, but I have to
remember that in the context of the situation I'm in, it's very
complicated. Oh God.
All right. Prison, prison politics, you
know. That sucks, Todd.
Yeah. What sucks more is what's
happening right now. And then he has to make your
charisma. Let me see what did I write down
for that that item. Who's.
Charisma check. Make your Charisma check.
Who's sucking who, Todd? Todd doesn't have a high
charisma, so he's probably he's a commoner, so he's gonna have a
+ 0. So I need a contested one from
you, Jess. Am I just rolling a charisma?
I thought it was yeah, with whatever, with whatever your
pluses and whatnot when you use the flip button.
Like. Oh yeah.
Wait, did I say that? Well, no, because oh, you got a
Nat point anyway. It doesn't.
Matter. Hold.
On hold on, I got a natural one. So.
Mr. President I didn't. Even know we had a female
president Now, No. You're damn right we're here to
help you guys out, so don't worry.
I'm so sorry. I've been so involved in office
politics, been trying to get Todd number one and he looks
over at Todd #1. They're paid, yeah.
Says very welcome. Right this way.
You'll probably want to speak to the speak to the warden of the
prison to discuss what's going on.
You guys are here to investigate this situation.
Is that not what your your badge says?
Do we have any way to communicate with Sammy Jay?
Yeah, you have the little no, but you can investigate a little
pinger if you want. Where's the you mean?
At the Hopewell site The Pinger. So you were given a basically a
device that pointed like AGPS device that points you towards
the nearest like a source of activity that's kind of like a
an all in one thing. So yeah, so you you have the
ability to call him if you want, like a walkie-talkie.
OK, I think you guys think that we should go towards the prison
or maybe we should just contact Sammy Jay and figure out what
what he what he intended here. Classic Sammy J.
Classic Sammy. I'm like, yes, we're here to
help with this situation and I kind of like, whispered to
Olivia and. I'm like, just send us away with
little to know. We just go go.
I think we should, I think we, yeah, I think we should go to
the the to the portal, deal with it because so nothing else comes
through and then and then we can explore the area and take out
anything left behind because once it's closed, I don't have
to worry about it, you know? Yeah.
I'm going to keep the pinger in mind, though maybe Sammy has
some help in the future. Yeah, Olivia, you're driving
these. These individuals stand aside
and all salute smartly. And one of them says, Madam
President, he doesn't seem smart.
Oh poor, poor, poor boy. As you guys move forward.
Oh, go ahead. Just nod Adam and drive on.
Hope will hope will hope will you.
Do the portal. Did.
We did we want to go to the correctional institution or did
we want to go to the Hopewell? Yeah, sucks that they have stuff
going on, but we've got bigger fish to fry.
As you guys drive forward with your passive perceptions,
looking left and right. Anything.
You can see what appears to be a number of people running around
firing guns on the inside of the Correctional Facility.
Wait. Is what if?
It's what sounds. Of.
Screaming from from across the street.
What if from this portal, whatever it was like, you know,
came through and that was like in the building?
In that. But wasn't it our job to take
care of the thing? But what if we don't?
What if we go there 1st and? What if we go?
There first. That sounds like a problem for
the people inside the building. Yeah, we definitely, definitely,
Yeah, we need to. I don't.
I think we're already feeling that first part, which I don't
think we're containing anything. I think it's already out.
Close the portal hours specifically.
Yeah, but if we don't close the. Portal.
You look at the prison, at very large walls it.
Looks pretty contained to me. I will let you.
Guys, whichever direction you want to go, I'm going to use the
restroom real quick, so I'm going to shut up and let you
guys talk and disappear for like a second.
Yeah. And I mean, you know, if, if,
yeah. Yeah, exactly.
If we don't close the portal, more threats may.
Come through. If we look at the order, we
definitely need to do the portal for.
Priority order I I can. Contain and eliminate any
threats as #4. That's like our last, our last,
you know, priority. Looks, it looks.
Like, I think so. I think this road that is like.
By the way, which on that? Side is actually on this side.
So am I assuming? Park Park over.
Here, swing back around and. Park down here, so we.
Don't like making a turn? Or maybe drive?
Yeah. Did we drive past a road that
was like, way down here? I couldn't because look at the.
Oh, actually, maybe. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look, look at this. This.
Hope. Will.
Yeah, there was this. Little road right here, that's.
Through the trees? Yep.
Yeah, there you go. Got it.
Yeah. I've returned.
What do you mean don't belong? We we went to the Hopewell site,
parked like all the other cars in the nap look.
At me I'm parked like all these other.
Cars. You never you never know that I
don't belong. I'm just imagining.
It looks like the Mystery Machine for.
Some reason. I mean, that's that was what I
was originally thinking and then I was like, am I going too
heavily on the legally distinct? All.
Of it, it could just be legally distinct Mystery Machine.
What's what? Waggy.
Row raggy row row raggy. So you guys park your van and
all pile out. You can see the soft glow of
some sort of portal or some light emerging from the trees to
your right. Ahead of you is the is the
Hopewell like the Welcome building?
And as you park and pull in, you can see, yeah, the the visitor
center. You can see an individual guard
kind of rounding the corner and kind of like noticing you kind
of walking forward. Well, hello there, individuals.
This is a closed scene. There was a murder here,
unfortunately. As he's saying this, I want to
kind of go stealth and go to the trees to the right here.
Oh really? Stealth.
Are you listening? Wow, Natural 20.
You guys look around and Justin is just gone.
Gone. Just.
Gone. I see the guard coming towards
us and realizing that Justin has just vanished.
I'm just like whatever. I start like walking proudly
like towards the guard and I have the little paper out and
I'm like, that's why we're here Sir.
And I try to act very professional and prim, like how
dare you question me. Nice.
And then you're using it. Yeah, and I'm going to flip the
paper out and I'm like, we're here to help with this incident.
OK, one more. One more contested charisma. 21.
Oh, and how many? What is your modifier for
Charisma? A + 3.
See one more use of this. OK.
Like, do we only have that many uses of a total or per day?
Per well per day, but I don't know if this will last more than
one day. This will probably be like a
short rest scenario. But yeah, so I with that
knowledge I will let you redecide if you want to do this
or not. But you didn't.
No, I'm still totally going to do it.
He sees it and he says, oh, OK, of course you're the
investigators sent here to investigate the murder from the
FBI, of course, right this way. Very gruesome scene here in the
in in the Welcome Center. And he looks over and he says
there's also a giant portal in the middle of the I don't know
what it is we're trying to stay. So I start firing off questions
at him. I'm like a giant portal.
What do you mean a giant portal? What defines a giant portal?
How did this thing get here? And you said gruesome.
What do you mean gruesome? And I'm just like like trying to
get all The Dirty details and keep him kind of like off
balance. So being off balance as he is,
he's like, well, there's like a like a big red I.
Don't. Know.
Have you ever seen Stargate like a portal?
Like a big like, it looks kind of like a portal from like.
Video games. It's just kind of hanging.
There, and it's really bright. I I he looks very sad.
I really like Stargate. It's one of my favorite shows.
What do you think we are? Me and my mom watch it when she
gets her dialysis. What?
What like a? Portal.
Doesn't. Make any sense?
Do we have our tokens or like or we?
Still, Oh yeah, I can throw your tokens on for you, I figured.
Everybody needs a hobby. I guess all.
Right. Yeah, I figured, like you
vanished. You're doing something.
So I'm like, let's keep his attention.
Why not? Yeah, yeah.
So he goes on to kind of describe the portal.
He says, well, at the center of the this, the there's like big
mountains, like of dirt from people.
A long time ago. I never really went into
history, but one of those just seems to have, I don't know,
sprouted a portal and then like all the ground around, it's all
dug up and and then the murder scene is that.
That's a gruesome one at the The lady's on the ground in the
middle of the building over there and there seems like
something ate the inside of her guts out or something.
It's really bad. She wrote something in the she
wrote run on the ground in her blood.
You could see it if you want. Yeah, I'm trying really hard to,
like, keep my composure because like, he's walking us into the
facility, right? Or you said she was out in the
field. Yeah, he he's kind of generally
walking towards this entry here. I.
Mean. Don't you think we should run?
Trying to gesture he he you can see this dude is clearly
overwhelmed like he's not a he's not a police officer.
He's not someone who's supposed to deal with murders and giant
portals appearing out of nowhere.
He just wants to get out, and he kind of points to, I guess, his
left kind of around the trees towards what appears to be this
very bright light emanating from there.
And I don't know if you guys can see it, but let me make sure
it's on the right level layer. I was gonna say I do see a
portal on. Oh yeah, yeah.
A big orange ring. As this whole conversation is
going down with them, I'm kind of like creeping through the
trees. I could still see them because
they're out in like the the light with the building and
everything like that. I'm just keeping my desk inside.
I can see them, but what I want to do is kind of like look into
the field towards the portal, see if I see like any, like your
creatures, anything that's out of the ordinary than just like a
normal natural historical park. Sure, it's a.
Big red circle. Yeah, go ahead and roll me a
perception or investigation check.
I don't know why the this need to go to back-to-back.
So with a 23 perception, as you kind of poke your head around
the corner, there does seem to be what appears to be like a 10
foot diameter portal, its edges burning with like an kind of
like fiery light you can't see through into the portal at all.
It just seems like kind of like a like a waving like circle of
flame essentially around the portal itself.
It seems to be located on the most prominent mound in this in
the center and all of the other many of the other mounds nearby
seem to actually have been dug up recently.
It almost looks like a like a bomb site back here.
And do I see like any? Is there any creatures or is it
pretty, just kind of like quiet besides this big red circle in
the mounds? Like is there?
Any it seems dead quiet. OK.
Anything else you would like to do?
No, I'm good. I'm going to slowly start coming
back to the group. And are we still all outside?
Is everybody else still outside or they have they gone inside?
Yeah, well, you're generally at the entry.
Yeah. OK.
Well, at this point I kind of want to like sneak up behind
everybody and kind of like slowly stand up and act like I
was there the whole time. Everybody What's your past and
perceptions 81 B to 30? No.
Fuck no. I.
Have a 16. I'm almost.
I'm a little halfway there. I have a 21.
Yeah, only 15. Jesus Christ, The main the main
point of this is to make sure that when you know if I stand up
and I just don't care what's part of the group the whole
time, he doesn't realize that I was.
Not on, Got it? Yeah, you pop up right in the
back of the group. This dude seems pretty
distracted, so he doesn't even notice.
He gestures towards the door. If you guys are going to take
the crime scene from here, I'm going to go home.
I'm just a guard. I just kind of nod my head.
You look over and see this giant portal.
And you stay. Oh, because you're doing.
It and we're going to go check out your I'm going to put my
fingers. Up.
All right. What do you guys want to do?
Check out the portal or check out the building.
Portal. Portal.
Yeah, great.
I do, yeah. I do have one question for him
before he he leaves or. Goes back, yeah.
So I'm not going in the in the building.
Sure. He turns here and says hi.
I don't recognize you. Hi.
Oh yeah, you must have not seen me.
I know there's a lot. Going on.
So I don't understand, you know, but hey, did you, have you had
any news or anything on the radio from the from the prison
side we heard shooting on our way in.
Yeah, actually, I got sent over here in response to whatever is
happening over there. It seems somebody broke into the
prison and started murdering all of the prisoners, and now
there's a gunfight in some sort of terrible He looks at you, I
don't know, monsters over there. Is that the word?
Monster, as they say with question mark.
Do you know which prisoners were killed?
He looks at you, I think most all of them.
Most All of them, OK. Almost all of them.
OK, I'll have to speak to the warden more.
I was sent over here to check out this.
This you need like gestures to the giant portal thing, 'cause
we could see it from over there and they were wondering if it
was somehow connected. Oh, it's like I said, go check
out the portal then. Yeah, let's check out this
portal and see what's going on. Try.
I want to introduce the portal and then we'll call it for the
night. So as you guys around the
building corner and approach this portal as I had described
to Justin, it's about a 10 foot wide portal.
It seems to have fiery edges and it kind of like funnels into
itself towards the center all around it.
All of the bear, all of the like the mounds that were around here
that I you can kind of barely see have all generally been dug
up as if something or the yeah they they've been dug up there's
large pits in the ground all around Luis.
See stuff in the mounds. Like if you want to investigate.
Are there still remains in the mounds?
Hoodoo. And that's my only Nat 20 for
the night 25. So as you're walking forward,
Josh, kind of picking your way through these with a natural 20
investigation, you will find a number of things.
Firstly, these don't look like they were like, they don't look
like bomb holes, you know, they don't look like perfectly
cylinder. One thing you notice, they
actually they kind of resemble like sand like you like it's
sand on the on the beach when you scrape out a thing of sand
with your hand, as if giant hands seem to have carved these
holes. Something else you notice
sticking out of one of the edges of the hole of a hole appears to
be some sort of artifact. Upon closer inspection, you see
that it appears to be the remains of a Native American
with a headdress on buried bone shattered.
And as you kind of look around, you see many instances of bone
fragments sticking out out of the ground in the in the holes.
And as you see this, you see a sign next to the next to the
sidewalk that just reads the Hopewell National Cultural
Center, a series of earth berm works thought to be the final
resting place for a number of Native Americans.
It seems somebody has dug up a large number of skeletons.
Something big? Well, everything has its use and
I pick up the headset. Oh, Jesus Christ.
That thing's cursed, bro. What are you doing?
I know. I just look over at it and I'm
like, you are so cursed right now and you are keeping that
cursed to yourself. Yeah, I'll have to find a curse.
Now. You pick it up and it feels
right. So after investigating that and
approaching the portal, it appears that like the portal
itself, Like I said, 10 feet, you can't see through it.
There does seem to be a large number of traffic.
The ground is kind of torn up in front of it, so you have the
idea that something probably left here and.
Through dug up a bunch of dead bodies and is now no longer
here. Can we tell in what direction it
went? Sure, with your passive insight,
you look across the street at the Ross Correctional Facility
where all of the screaming, where all of the screaming is
occurring and gunshots the. Giant holes in the mine mounds
might be one of those, but I mean I don't know what the
pinger takes its shape as I. Occurrences are related.
It's like a it's like a think of like a handheld.
It looks like a Game Boy. Like a classic Game Boy, but.
OK well then I hold the the the right and left triggers and A&B
while pressing in all directions continually on the D pad and say
Sammy J how do we close this portal?
Hey, it's me, Sammy J. Most portals should be pretty
easy to close. They're typically only a couple
feet in size. Small creatures get out of them.
You'll just need to cast an upcast to spell magic on it, if
it's if that. If that would work.
These things, you know they're only small rips in reality.
And then as you look up at this just giant raging portal inferno
in front of you. I'm like if this is small,
what's a big one? Oh no.
That you can tell like this is much larger than what he thinks
is going on. You've been sent to investigate.
He isn't aware that it's this size.
I press the start button. Is this how you activate video?
A video pops up. It's like one of the old Gameboy
like attachment videos. Like real bad quality.
I point it towards it's me, Sammy.
Whoa. And then I put like my hand
right next to the scale, 5 inches, 6 inches.
I don't know when I hold it somewhere in the range.
Oh my God, that's a huge portal. I've never seen a portal that
large before. That's what she said.
Portals that large can only be sustained through some power
source somehow. It's probably controlled from
the other side. Jake, guys, we gotta go through.
Son of a bitch. You don't.
You don't, you don't want that stipend fee for your family.
I was kind of banking on that, that.
Sounds like a big pile of that sucks for you, bud.
All right. Probably for.
Next week. Yeah, I think we'll leave it
there. Thanks for playing as you all
stand thematically in front of this portal, observing it Well,
speaking to Sandy J next time as you hear the screams and gunfire
from across the street. Gene sounds like a Tuesday.
Nope. Don't worry, I've got my
crossbow. You'll have to go get.
Some somehow. Hook us up with any guns in
that. Supply before I left, so thanks
for playing guys. Yes, yes.
Welcome to the Secret Invasion. Yay, Secret invasion.
We'll see you guys next week. Yes all.
Right. See you guys later.
All right, Good. Night.
Good night everyone. A grand and wonderful thank you
for those who took the time and made it here to the end of the
episode where I know sometimes we are long winded and others we
are just dead silent. I don't know what to tell you,
this is RAW here folks. Please remember to like and
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