Hello fair listener, welcome and thank you for following our
journey on metagaming by Rum Propelled Gaming.
Fair warning, sometimes we are not safe for work and others not
safe for real life. Journey forth at your own risk.
Now let's dive right back into Tara through the campaign.
Manny. Polos.
Craig, Craig. You do the hand of Fate tosses,
the dice rolls, spins, turns. The campaign starts and ends,
leaving memories that become stories.
Stories flow out into the infinite sea, painting it with
legends. Legends wash up on the shores
throughout the infinite sea, fading to myth until myths are
forgotten and the campaign that gave it birth comes again and
again. The Hand of Fate tosses, the
dice rolls, spins, turns hitherto we left our adventures
known as the Shadow Seekers on the 5th level of Hell in the
centre of the phallic maze. After braving the maze's perils
of marshers on the outside with ghosts, creepy crawlies, angry
Gray dwarves and ettin, the undulating walls, skeletal
beasts, demonic servants and gelatinous memory eating beasts
of the Acropolis, they come into the doorway with a Titanic eye,
definitely solving the Riddle. It posed.
A light flashed from deep within, the eye disappearing,
revealing to Ash, Phelan, Flint, Franklin and Mahmay the chamber
beyond. Inside, a demon sits in front of
a mirror overgrown by decrepit pustual laden tree atop A
ziggurat, jumping down and announcing himself as Fraz, or
Lure or Fraz for short, claimed to be this levels of Hell's
Seal. He then began attacking the
Shadow Seekers with gusto and enjoying the pain of their
attacks. All the while as the melee came
to a pinnacle and Mame chopped off his tail which had grappled
ash, Fraz rescinded his claim as the level seal, Phelan confirmed
he was telling the truth by reading his mind and Fraz gave
Franklin chocolate he was which he was eating.
Out of spite of this invasion into his mind.
Franklin also asked Manny Polis who said this seal has magical
resistance and his only and he only knows in breaking it you
may have to break yourself. Left in a bloodlust, drunken
haze, however, Mommy immediately chose violence, even after
Frasz's warning not to mommy's axis strike the mirror and
everyone except Franklin, Mommy and Frasz themselves fall
unconscious with a shattering of their minds, only surviving from
Mommy for about. With healing mangoes of youth
and Franklin's healing word deciding now is a perfect time
for another long rest and recuperation in the pocket.
Rocket Shadow Seekers poof into their cave home after their
after the respite, Franklin retrieves the sopping wet pocket
rocket from Fraz after he pulls it from his pantaloons.
Mama used their polished axe and Franklin the mask of True Sight
to view the mirror at the mirror seal for this level of hell.
They both see old companions and distinctive eye stalks of a
beholder. Behind them, Franklin learns and
shares what his creature, Codex learned about the mirror as
well. It it is called a Fractine
prison. Franklin calls a humble huddle
and the shadow seekers speculate whether they should try to steal
the seal for their purposes. Franklin does one more Mirror
test with his Crickets. 4 leave and only one returns.
The 2nd girald and question mark.
The join the mirror Prison First one.
Splat's eyes closed, touching the mirror.
Whoops. No more Jeremy.
Franklin orders his family to stipend.
Jeremy's. Yeah.
Franklin orders him his his Jeremy's.
Jeremy's family. A stipend.
Of the last two, Amos is the only one to make it out.
Geralt senses tell Franklin. He is in a white void with no
side to side, no up and down, only forward out of the mirror
and backwards into an infinite white void.
Giving their brains a break, the Shadow Seekers decide to take a
rest in the pocket Rocket. While resting yet again,
Franklin and Vomira greet a new potential crew member, Callum
Callum and Zarhoun Zarhorn and decide to brave the infinite
tower of Ishmael, where they make a deal with him for a
personal space in exchange for chocolate.
They clear one level of tentacle Bush monster and decide to rest
in the tower. Franklin's eyes flutter awake
now, as inside of the pocket rocket, after having done so
with those companions no longer. He feels A twist.
Ben shake in reality and those those companions cease to exist.
From Matter and Callum. It's almost as of a dream and
you'll find yourself in the pocket rocket.
That begins sobbing Callum. A few minutes later, he forgets
entirely that they existed. He hops up, happy as a clam,
skips down the hall. Hey Gonz, what are we doing
today? Same thing we do everyday,
little man try to take over. He looks at his book.
Yeah. Oh, I checked my pockets.
Do I have any new content the either the room or the
conclusion of the tower session? Or no?
I don't know how that works. Oh.
Definitely not from the conclusion of the Tower session,
so nothing new in that regard. But if you I don't, I didn't
remember you picking anything specifically up that time
actually, either 'cause it was kind of.
No, I assumed so. Like you had said in the recap,
I had bargained for a new personal space.
You have and that that wouldn't net you anything yet it is
almost and like I said, you're probably wondering whether or
not. Even happened.
Yeah, at this exact moment in time.
I begin doubting it as I find nothing.
Oh, I thought. I swore I made a deal with that
guy, but whatever. Hey, guys.
Does everybody have a visual? I do have a visual only as Bob
is ash missing. Bob.
Do I have to be Bob now? No, you're done here.
I found you. Where?
Oh, you, you and Flint were having a a conversation.
I, I, I. That's all I left.
It has overheard, rushed, hushed whispers while the other
companions were standing there. I don't know if you guys want
to. Maybe they're.
Playing leapfrog. Complaining to him about how he
took care of the baby that one time you didn't change his
diaper correctly. How dare you?
When I was his age, I was able to shit overboard.
Well, we don't have a ship to teach him that.
There's a lake right over there. That's our only source of water.
Do not teach him to shit and that.
Grumble. I walk away.
I think I see failing too, having gone to sleep in that one
bed down down there. Yes, my little bed down here.
Probably would have woke, woken up to you were skipping and
saying what are we doing today? So maybe that's what you heard.
I hear one of the children are awake, and at this point I'm
pretty much half. I'm.
I'm the fucking group. Mom.
What the fuck? You say that and I go over to
the bed and I pick up my baby. I forget that you have a literal
child. A2 Headed child at that.
No God. Twice as many talking points.
Yikes. Still pretty young, although
he's probably wanting to be more active now considering how much
time has passed, I'm guessing. Yeah, he's a oh, what do what do
people do now? They count, count time and
months for their child. Probably like, shoot, I don't
even know. It's not quite a year, so less
than 12. Yeah, so I just pick up the baby
and swaddle him and see if he's hungry or whatever.
And I'm like, I don't know, what should we get into today?
Breaking that seal safely, I think.
Yeah, not accidentally killing ourselves.
Almost. I think so.
We know that our allies are in there and that there's also a
giant mimic. So it says by book or I think
there's a mimic if somebody saw something about a giant tentacle
eyed monster. A giant tentacle eyed monster.
Yeah, I'm trying to see, and I'm flipping through my book to see
if this says anything about it. Bird the world down.
Nuclear war? Do I?
Can I roll to see if I know anything about a tentacle eyed
monster? I think everyone would know.
Maybe other than Franklin. I guess that that is a legendary
monster of a beholder rather than the make.
I and I I make note of that I'm like, that sounds like a
beholder. I say that as I'm bouncing my
baby in my arms. Those are a little tough, maybe
best if avoided, but oh, it's in the mirror or in the ceiling.
We have to. Get through.
That. Yeah, we could ask Maniopoulos
if he has any ideas. Fresh out guys.
You're like the most useful person.
Wow, you really? Want us to break these seals?
You have so much information to lend, I say with the most thick
sarcasm ever. Well you you see, like I was
saying last time, the the the problem prevails.
That I wasn't given any information about my own prison
and how to get out. Would, let alone probably may
have had some mind altering shit that may have prevented me from
knowing any of that and I'm not sure.
Wow. Wait, there's substances that
could alter the binds of gods. In the.
Straight and pulls out a notebook.
What's it called? That is for God's to know and
you to figure out, my love, young lad.
Drugs right now. Become a God.
Underline, underline, underline. Got it.
Well, so I mean we so Bobby threw the thing at it and it
bounced it back. So I don't think we could just
break it, right? Well, in order to break the
mirror, we have to break ourselves.
I think that means we have to go insane, I'm guessing, or die.
I mean, Franklin stays up. I got this.
Then what if we just pick it up and put it into the pocket
rocket and like, break its tie with a reality would?
That break its tie with reality. I have no idea.
This is way above our heads. You would know for sure that it
it's just having intermittent, excuse me, intermittently viewed
it that it's grown into the tree.
It's not just no sat up against it, for instance.
They don't have an axe. Yeah, I was gonna say.
Can we cut into the tree and just get behind the mirror?
Wait, wait, where are we thinking about this?
Wrong. It reflects damage, right?
So what if we try to think how this would work, if we could
somehow get it to reflect its own damage into itself over and
over again, like an infinite loop?
Hold a mirror up to it. Sure, we could try that, but
like, we have to see if like, is it a right, like a regular beer
or does it need to be a magical beer or like a piece of its own
beer? Like, I don't know, but it's the
idea. I turn to Bob and I ask him.
After casting, speak with animals.
Yeah, I ask him. I'm like, have you ever heard of
a mirror as a seal of the situation that we are talking
about? Well, mistress, I hesitate to
say that I've heard of it, but I've not really.
It's it's only been in in sorts of myths and legends, if you
will, for me, even in my learnings.
What do they say in these myths and legends?
Well. Simply they.
I guess there's no simple way to put it.
Actually. They are bit of a divine
creation, some sort of prison to hold power and seal others, and
they are also intended to be opened through a sort of inner
peace that requires 1 to be accepting of themselves, which I
I don't quite know what that means.
It seems rather vague to me, honestly.
I would agree, very vague. Accept yourself.
You have to accept yourself, but if you look into it, you get
sucked in. What the the I don't know quite
what the turtle one's speaking about, but that.
Oh, well, that's right. I can't hear you.
I turned. You there.
Are you like her? She sounds so beautiful when she
talks the crocodile. It's all you guys do.
I would, after like asking the question, I would try to relay
the information back to everyone.
Like oh hey, Bob says that in order to the the the mirror is a
divine creation and one of the ways to break it is to accept
yourself. I wonder if that means we need
to meditate in front of the mirror.
Accept yourself. And accept yourself.
Well, what does that even mean? I mean, I could.
I could command one of you guys to accept accept yourself be.
Happy with who you are. Contentment.
I don't know. Puzzling.
Yeah. So.
Accept yourself. So it also says if you break the
mirror, you break yourself. So once you accept yourself,
does the mirror then shatter and then you also shatter or you
die? Yeah, probably.
You guys would also recall from brief interactions from before I
I may not have been as direct in the recap, but you were avoiding
looking directly into the mirror because that is one of the ways
that you yeah, you get drawn into it and stuck in the prison.
OK, so we can't look directly into it.
We have to accept ourselves to break it again.
I looked it up. I'm like, so you said accept
yourself is vague, which I agree.
Do you know how to accept yourself?
In the context, mistress, I'm not too sure, but to be fair,
does anyone? Yep.
I that I don't know. Maybe like a guru?
Sashio, just me out again and again.
It sounded like no after bomb. Statement.
I don't know if she's just sitting at the top of the stairs
listening or what. I did.
I might have an idea, but I looked at you guys.
I wouldn't want you guys to be there.
While you mess with the mirror. Yeah.
I think that's doable. Wait, can you read the poem
thingy again? You mean the two lines that you
guys know of about it so far? I guess we could also, where do
we hear about this from that one dude?
You'd heard about it in two different locations at this
point now from one from Manny Polis.
And Manny Polis's statement was besides that, the seal has
magical resistance. He who in breaking it, you may
have to break yourself. And then what Bob just said that
Ash had relayed was that you have to accept yourself to do
so. Huh.
Interesting turn. The others, I have no fucking
idea. I mean, I've got an idea, but it
might end up with me get, like, sucked in.
So yeah, but also like I don't, I don't personally accept
myself. It's something I'm working on.
Yeah, I'm gonna say that is a process and I don't know how
you're supposed to do it in front of a mirror.
I'm wondering if you can just like walk in front of the mirror
and say I accept myself like for who I am and if that would be
enough, or if you have to like feel it internally.
I mean for like a seal in hell. Probably more than just asking
nicely. Yeah.
I have to accept myself what I have.
Well, I mean, I guess it really depends If I accept myself, I'd
have no, I don't know, turn to yeah, there's anyone else like,
feel very like content with their self.
Find inner peace. Just crosses arms and looks
looks away. This sounds depressing.
I mean, we are the bad campaign. We all have problems.
I was going to say that I feel like Ash is probably pretty
content with herself because she thinks she's doing everything
right. Not.
Not that she is. And she thinks that she's doing
everything for good, even though like.
Very self assured. Yeah, yeah, she is.
She's just like, yeah, we're going to free the evil God Manny
Polis, 'cause he's going to help me out.
And then I'm going to rule the Kingdom and I'm going to save
everybody. And if I have to make deals with
the devil to do it, I will. And that's just how she thinks.
A Compensated Anarchist. Yeah.
Franklin nods. Write that down.
Good to do. I mean, if you want to give it a
whirl, but you know, risks versus rewards.
We can also question that guy who likes to get whipped more.
Oh, I. Don't want to switch to him
again, I was. Going to say, you know what, we
should get Bob a new body and send him to talk to that guy
because I feel like they could level.
With each other. Maybe that's true.
Maybe that's what I have to do? What whip that guy?
Yeah, just like torture him for a while.
Yeah, torture him for a while, let him enjoy it.
And then be like, OK, now tell me what I want to know, or I'm
going to stop torturing you. Probably that's not a bad idea.
You can't torture him to telling us stuff, but you cannot torture
him but to telling us stuff. Exactly, because the torture is
what he wants. Mad This dude should really just
like, I don't know. What do we just like What if we
give him something that will give him endless pain, like
gonorrhea? Would that work?
Make them pay taxes. Oh, don't remind taxes.
It's endless pain right there. Taxes are something I remember
from far away. Why do I remember taxes?
I mean, I assume there's be taxes in the big cities here.
Probably, Most likely. Oh yes, Ash would definitely
know about taxes. She's been a Lord of or or or a
Lord SA lady of the of the city. Yeah, she'd be like, yes, these
are a pain in the ass, but they are a necessity.
Franklin Curtsies. I didn't know you were a lady.
My lady. I turned to him and I'm like, I
am the heir to the House of Kroy and then I like bow back to him.
Oh, I didn't know we name houses.
Well, I guess we did. This house looks around.
We should go outside and deal with this beer.
We should. We should.
We're getting distracted. Does Phelan or Flint have
anything to weigh into about this besides?
Bonus I'm not the one talking to the dude.
I'm good. I got nothing.
I've got the spell Shatter meld into stone.
I asked Bob, I'm like, can you take over one of those skeletal
bodies and talk and speak with it, 'cause you might have a
better time getting around and helping us out if you have two
arms and two legs? Thanks and jumped up.
Mistress, I'm not too sure what your skeletal bodies you're
referring to. I've been enjoying the plushness
of this bed. I'm going to say that's a hint
that he doesn't want to be in a. Skeletal body.
We need to find we have that's Griselda's body headless corpse.
We do. I mean, it got rolled up, but we
can refill it with some straw or something.
Got rolled up. Yeah, we used it.
We toothpaste. We toothpasted her for her to
get all of her goo out because oh, that's right, temporary
zombie. I'm sure we can come across
something, just, yeah. That's.
Good to hear. Information.
Wait, what if we can convince this guy that if he was just
ahead, he would be in even more pain and then give the demon
body to Bob? The demon body without the head.
Yeah, and they just put Bob's head skull on there.
Oh, that's good. Got my head always thinking.
I turned to Bob and I asked if that would be amenable to him.
Awesome play. I think that's the The only
thing that would be of at odds with what you're suggesting is
that the the skull wouldn't necessarily be attached unless
you have some way to attach it to the body.
Do you need? Head pulls out a staring kit.
I was going to say, do you need a head to be attached to the
body? I do have to say that some of
the the body's most pleasurable aspects are related to the head,
OK? My.
Eating. Eating.
Drinking. Yeah, doing lines of MSG.
Here's some of that and chimes in with the that you guys can't
all understand only as the of the alligator.
But, he says, and face fucking. What's?
That I let out a big belly laughing.
I'm like, yeah, Yep, that's always a good time.
But I don't tell everybody else what he said.
I pat him on the head and I'm like, we'll find you a body
soon, but in the meantime, we need to take care of this
mirror. I am wondering if there is a way
for me to oh you know what? I turned to Franklin and I'm
like, hey, can some of your small companions babysit and yo
and easel and we can just leave them in here for safekeeping and
I can bring Bob with us out there For more information.
Oh yeah, I mean, yeah, there's literally thousands of them.
I turn generally to the ceiling. Hey guys, could you, could we
get some motherly figures to watch these here babies for us
to keep them safe? Do you want them to stay out of
here, like be taken up into the hive or like, what do you think?
Probably stay down here so he can get some running around an
activity in or take a nap, whatever he wants to do and I
just set the baby down on the ground.
Before you finished explaining to Franklin after he'd giving
you the order and you weren't, you weren't looking Franklin.
He being one of the elders, just salutes behind you and come down
and immediately give Enyo and ISO while you're talking in the
to each palm and each sole of their foot and hand this like
sticky you that they have and proceed to put him on the
ceiling and starts crawling around with him.
Oh my God. I just look at that and I'm
like, yeah, I'm sure that's fine.
They got it. They're responsible.
They built all that. They know what they're doing.
Yeah. All right.
Are you going to try your thing first?
I turn to the others. What's anyone Who else wants to
step up to the beer? No, let's go do the thing.
Yeah, I was going to say I'm not even sure if we've made a
decision of what to do. We've talked about so many.
Options. No, we, I mean we have a, we
have a solid way forward, but let's let's go back to the room
at least. So we're in the same robe as the
beer, and maybe it'll spark an idea.
Finish my cereal. Slurp up the milk.
Set it down. Smack my lips.
Jump up. Ready to break a seal after a
good thirty breakfast? The only one I may be missing is
lint. Tricks.
They're for kids. They look like a little circles
to you guys, but their shapes for me.
Oh, blind, Oh.
How's that? Yep.
I see a black and white map. Same as these.
I see it correctly. I see.
Am I color blind at this point? Like just visually in the dark?
Yep. And I see.
But I only see me. I only see you.
I only see me. In my bugs.
Bugs. My bugs.
I'm running around you. Oh, I do see you, but you're
like transparent, huh? Your Yeah your icon's like
transparent. So I just highlighted the whole
map and I guess I selected myself.
But I still. Only see.
Black and white. How about down here where I've
just clicked? I have a square right there, but
I see no character and I see in black and.
White dynamic lighting vision on important.
Sage, Only a little. I think we're.
Gonna turn this vision on? There we go.
How about how about you, Flint? Now do you also see now?
I see my person but everything is still black and.
Like I can't see they're not allowed ducks.
I'm also giant compared to the map I take up, like several
squares. Hi.
How big you've gotten. Yeah.
Oh, no. Oh, oh.
As you moved it. OK.
Thank you. Yeah, you're good.
Let me check something here too on the map settings.
Again, gliding daylight mode's on SO should be able to see.
Is it something on my end because I am still in black and
white vision? I see what you're saying.
I just went to your guys's view. War.
I've had that. The fog of war turned off, you
mean? Yeah.
Is that turned off? Or is that even under page?
D It's in like the map, so if you go to the settings for that
page. It's off movement dynamic.
Letting barriers restrict is on because I have the walls up.
It's a mystery game. Character Flynn, Can you move
yours at least? What'd you say?
Can you move yours? I can't move.
I can't even move yours. Yeah, I can move it.
Oh, OK, weirdly all grayed out. Yeah, every everything's grayed
out. I see no one but me.
We are alone. I look around guys, guys.
I. Make one of your characters oh.
I see. I see.
Yeah, I made Flint's character emit light, so it's as if like
the map is in. Explore.
Mode Daylight mode. Oh, the daylight is turned all
the way down. Here we go.
Doo Doo Doo come on out. Yep.
OK. Oh God, I thought you guys
vanished like the other two guys I dreamt about.
Thought you. Didn't remember that.
I. Don't know.
So you guys poof into purple smoke inside the pocket rocket.
Poof, back from the pocket rocket and inside of a chamber
and you see the demon ish figure sitting in front of the mirror
and you hear squishy noises. And he goes and he turns back
around after he hears the poof noise.
Oh, you want your rock back? I'm not gonna say anything.
Nope. Don't want to know.
Yes, Can we please have a rock back?
Thank you very much. You hear her?
I don't know if that came through.
I. Hate.
It did come through, and I hate that it did.
Did. You get that pocket back.
There. Ed Franklin tears around his
back. Yeah, he he goes.
Yeah, it's called a prison wallet.
Here you go. No.
No, I like to the others. That seems useful.
We should get one. Nope.
We gotta hide so many things. I reach out and take it, and
then I pull a a a handkerchief out of my purse or out of my
purse, out of my backpack, and I clear it off, throw the
handkerchief away. Looking off the piece of.
Peanut. It's actually.
Corn. I would say that Bob came with
us too. Oh, right, right.
Let me get him in here. So there is a mirror.
Inside of an overgrown tree. Yep, speak with plants.
I do not have that. You guys have presumably at this
point, all viewed it out of the corner of your eyes up until and
including now and. It is immune to damage.
Correct. Yes.
Is it just physical damage or any damage?
I don't think we tried magic because we all were dying.
Yeah, that's true. We were dying, so.
The damage you do to it, it reflects back onto.
You. Yeah.
That's why I was thinking if we put a beer at like.
But it doesn't reflect back on to just you.
It does it in a radius, which is why all of us were dying.
Has anyone tried looking at it and hurting themselves?
Franklin did. Oh.
Not trying to hurt themselves, no.
No. Hey, did I look at I like looked
at it like at an angle or were like with a mirror?
Because I thought if we looked at it, we get sucked in.
Yeah. It was at an it was through the
your crickets is how you would viewed it through their vision
specifically. I just, I was going to say I do
see quite a large dead cricket right in front of the mirror.
Yeah, which was right, Jeremy, who is splatted on the floor
below it. RIP.
Not Jeremy. It was my favorite.
I pick them up and put them in my inventory.
No. Good for compost.
So I kind of just begin to question our demon friend here
and I'm like, so how long have you been down here?
It's. Good to see you again too.
Do do you even remember my name? I do have it written down, but I
don't have my notes. So you see a tear well up.
And he goes, oh, thanks anyhow. But then.
Of course. I remember you.
We had such fun while I was wrapped up in your tail, I kind
of say through my teeth. Oh, that was fun, wasn't it?
We should do that again sometime.
Yeah, totally. You said.
How long have I been down here? It's hard to say since it's been
at least since this iteration of Tarth.
It's been quite a while. Sorry.
Iteration. Yeah, yeah.
There's several iterations of the world's that surround you.
Sorry. That might be too small, too too
big for your feeble brains. Let's just say that I am stuck
to this particular plane of existence in this form and shape
because of the seal, and he gestures behind him to the meal.
Oh, because of the seal. So if so, if the seal gets
broken, you're afraid from this place.
Exactly the Mundo, and hence why I've thought long and hard how
to break it and come back with zilch.
And fortunately, I've just been tasked with running this plane
of hell. Have you ever tried accepting
yourself? He just turns his head slowly to
you until he looks you directly in the eyes and goes.
Have you ever tried accepting yourself?
I mean, I don't know exactly what that entails, but I mean,
we were told by, I guess a crocodile that that's the
solution. I pat him on the head and don't
say anything about it. Just just pat the crocodile on
the head. See his eyeballs raise not only
at you, but then looking over at the crocodile, and he goes.
Hmm. Well, I haven't exactly
consulted any of my crocodiles, but I to have in the past I
believe consulted with something called a psychiatrist and they
said it's going to take many sessions and thousands of
dollars, so. If you tried to look talk to a
healer or a cleric, they have full like lesser and greater
restoration which removes. I don't know if it removes
mental illness. I think we've we've said at
least not that mental illness specifically, but addiction,
which is a form of mental illness is actually a curse.
And so for that at least he would, he would know some degree
of the magical essence of it and go well.
All healers aren't versed in curses.
What do the others? Which are inborn which?
Has to be. Rewriting existence, which I
don't know if you guys know anything about, so moving on.
I could probably pick up Remove Curse if I have to take a nap.
We all just stand here. You just lay down on the ground.
And yeah, I could. I could actually pick up Remove
Curse. Yeah, I'd walk to him.
Do you want to accept yourself today?
Technically, tomorrow. Me as me, as your Lord and
Savior. Oh, that's right, I've actually
I have something for that too, which I forgot about, but I
don't know if her move curse would work.
Oh, you sent it in there. Let me see here.
Oh no you didn't. What do we think if I ask him?
What if we remove the beer for this play of reality?
Oh, until I got Pocket Reality and I point at The Rock.
Oh, is that what that is? Can we?
No. No.
I mean, it's in the tree. It's like baked into the tree,
right? We have to chop the tree down.
It's definitely grown into the tree, it appears, yeah.
Or out of the tree. It's unclear.
Big Two plants is big two plants.
A cleric spell 'cause this guy knows nothing?
Nope. What is Perception of Wisdom?
He does have a Perception. Oops, I should have rolled that,
but I can just add his modifier there instead after the fact.
Oh OK, he actually rolled A3 and it only +7 plus another 7.
So yeah, he definitely noticed you and he kind of seems to make
a note somewhere about the sub dimensional space.
I narrow my eyes. Shit, I better shut up, man.
How can we break this thing? Do you think Matt or Alliopolis
would know how to break it? Would they want to break it?
Looked at Flint. Because you've got a different
torque than us. If you could probably talk to
Aliopolous. We could see, or at least maybe
he might know, a way to banish it from this.
I mean, my fear is he doesn't want it to be banished.
He wants the seals to remain right.
If they're like, I assume they're opposites.
Yeah. Oh, let's see.
What could we do? We have to accept ourselves to
break it and ourselves so that we have to accept that we are
broken to to break it. But if you're already broken,
wait, hold on. If you're a broken, if you
accept that you're broken and it breaks, could you become double
broken? Oh.
God. What if it did the opposite?
What if you became unbroken? This dude's a liar, and you
definitely don't need thousands of dollars for a psychiatrist.
I'm gonna. I want to look at the mirror.
You look directly at the mirror. I want to look directly at the
mirror. You look directly at the mirror
and everything else, including your friends around.
You fade away and all you see in it is Hamilton, who's looking
directly back at you with this look of wait, Is this real?
I look in the mirror and I say I accept that I am not in control
of my own. You say you are.
You accept that you are not in control of your own fate.
Trying to come to terms with that he's just a pawn in a game
and that he knows that, you know, I got, I got my fingers
pulling his strings up. So everyone else, while they're
debating about what to do, what to what, how to go about this,
as unaware as Flint, you look directly at this mirror and you
see this and you say that and you know that that is actually
Hamilton on the other side of the mirror.
I reach out for him. Well, it's a trap.
It's a trap. You've you.
You walk towards the mirror as if to embrace Hamilton, and as
soon as you guys both embrace, everything around everyone
starts to decay and the lights of the tree that were glowing
with these pustual yellows start to go out as you hear a
shattering sound of the mirror. But you are now Hamilton.
What? Johnny URL Hamilton.
What? Oh, you swapped?
Oh no. Hamilton's gonna fucking hate it
here. Oh.
No. So do.
We all see this. Do we all see just Flint kind of
materialize from himself to Hamilton?
I would say that you guys are in complete darkness right now, so
you're unsure of that exact fact you may have been.
Oh, there's no light right now we can't see.
Yeah, you may have been questioning.
I have superior dark vision. OK.
Cast light. So so.
I I can see for up to 120 feet. Go ahead and roll me a
Perception with advantage, then Phelan and I'm gonna try and get
over here. Too cool?
That's a 15. The first thing you realize that
is that Flint is no longer Flint standing in front of the mirror
with it shattered. And besides this fact, everyone
roll me a Dexterity saving throw.
Including me. As hello 15 I'm consistent
today. 13. 50 No Franklin. Uh oh.
I know you're still getting over to your sheet.
Yeah. I will go into this description
at least. Oh, you know what?
I don't think it'll roll over. You got to go to the features
and treats. There it goes, 27 natural. 20.
It's still going. Why is?
It going. Oh, Oh no.
How many? Times did you?
You did 4 shaving throws. Am I safe?
Save me.
Throw. Save me throw.
Am I safe yet? How were the first two natural
20s? Oh my God, that's wild.
Oh, you know what? I think it's these new dice
because on Beyond they have a Lego dice now.
Yeah, yeah, because of the Lego. Yeah, because of the Lego D&D
set that got released. Oh shit.
Why didn't you send anything into fucking chat?
I would. It's $350.00.
Yeah. Exactly.
But the Dice and Beyond is free though.
That's what I was talking about. Yeah.
Yeah, they're free. Goes to the front page and it's
at the very top. He just gets to roll 30 times.
That's OK. And when you roll like little
accessories, fall down to like a loot Little Axe.
Gib. Gib.
I need Gib. Yeah, where'd the link?
It's at the top. It's at the very front of the
the D&D Beyond page. Yeah, go to the main page and at
the very top there. Claim your free copy of Lego D&D
Adventure, Digital Dice, and more.
Yeah, you're coming out. Oh, and by the way, that that
Lego adventure from the D&D set, it doesn't come with the set.
You have to use your VIP points and you get a physical copy of a
Lego adventure. Oh shit.
Do we have enough points for that?
Yeah. We will once we buy the set.
Yeah, I have. I have almost 6000 points and
it's only 20. OK, now I'm going to roll one
just for funsies because I want to see it.
That sound is just perfect. Oh.
Oh my God. Going to say she likes it.
I just turned into high pitched squeals.
I got very excited. I don't.
OK. I'm.
Starting now.
So this is actually a description for.
All the all the custom roles being made with the new.
Guys. I just heard all the.
Clunking coming from Jess's screen.
Yeah, because I have the the web browser coming through my TV
screen. OK.
No, we'll go with. Oh, and if you order that that
DD set from the Lego website, you get a free gift of a Mimic
box. Oh, but can't hash out $350.00.
I want this. I want the Legos.
It's so bad. Don't.
Worry it's on backward. Of course it is, yeah.
It's on backward. I know it's insane.
I mean, but like, if you looked at it, the detail is Immaculate
and I think it's thousands of pieces.
I don't remember where. It's like 5000 pieces or
something like that. Yeah.
Is that one of the biggest sets? It's one of the how detailed it
is. Not I have no.
It's not 100 pieces. OK, it's 3700 pieces.
Yeah. How much is a Millennium Falcon?
Oh, why I know. I don't why I don't want to know
the number. Oh, the rim.
They'll set 60 to 100. Oh, wow.
Isn't that so the most expensive set?
No, I think the Hulkbuster might be the most expensive one
because it's like cost $900. Oh.
My God. On.
Sale. Right now for 384.
Sales are nice. Blow up on feet.
You feel this shake, rattle and roll.
Phelan and Ash and Franklin all lose their footing.
Other than Hamilton now, yeah. We all lose our footing.
Yep, and you're down to your knees as you hear Frazz fall
down the stairs. And just, yes, down, down the
whole Nagarat stairs down to the bottom and you go into the wall
is the last thing you hear before this whole plane seems to
start to fracture under you. It feels almost if there's an
earthquake going on and before the ground opens up under each
of you and swallows you into this darkness, that's
weightlessness and you're floating.
It almost feels like just because of how long you start to
fall. I just reach out for Bob, who
was right next to me. You hear him slightly off in the
distance, but you can't quite find him with your reach.
I call out. I'm like, Bob, come back to me.
Hiri and as you reach out you grab a a claw of his and you
kind of see behind him this, his tail spinning.
Yeah, I'm going to say I'm just, I was just going to start to try
to like just swim through the air really awkwardly.
While falling, I want to see if I can cast light.
You cast light to diminishing avail because you see your party
member is around you falling, but otherwise darkness is anyone
screaming by the way. Why am I screaming?
Maybe not now, I yelled. Probably honestly, Yeah,
probably. I cast the light by touching Bob
and just make using him as a light source and whoever I can
see closest to me, I'm just going to hop onto Bob's back and
I'll be like swim towards them. I'm going to.
I'm going to instruct some of my swarm as we were falling.
I'll tell them quickly, stay behind and populate this floor
of hell for the future, and I'll try to grab a Shard of glass as
of broken glass from the mirror as I begin falling.
If I'm anywhere near Bob, I'll try to grab him.
Roll me a flat D20. But they're kind of round, flat
die series. Straight down the middle.
You land on a small piece that actually is only probably about
the size of a needle that pierces your hand, actually for
two damage. Wow.
I clutch it. Don't know what this is, but
we're gonna keep it. Look around for Bob.
You see a very glowing alligator, probably about 30
feet away from you, floating through space.
Oh, is he floating with us? Yep, you guys are all falling at
exactly the same rate, which seems to be down below your
feet, but it's all otherwise blackness.
I turn to everyone. Everyone swept to the center so
that we could do a cool, like * shape as we fall.
Superhero landing. I'm gonna just continue to ride
on Bob's back and just direct him towards everyone.
With Phelan screaming in the background.
Yep. I have decided to hell what's
already. It's fine.
Why don't we do it a couple more times?
And Hamilton greeting new what's.
Going on. Nobody.
What's, what's? Happening here.
Where am I? Where am I?
Do I reach any of my companions on Bob?
You guys should all be rolling me, actually in acrobatics.
Should I roll one for Bob? Yes, if you have access to a
sheet. Oh God, that's.
Excellent. Oh God, I rolled.
I rolled. Bad for Ash.
Bob, show me your sheet. Kind of like you said, show me
your sheet. Show me your shit.
To me, I want to see it's healthy.
Sorry, do I have to roll acrobatics too?
Yes, please. Wait.
Just just. Bad.
Please wow. We all suck.
Actually, that's probably in your favor.
OK, cool. I'm looking at his character
sheet here on roll 20, which was the only place that I had it,
and it looks like it's not filled out.
That's probable. I know you'd asked me some
questions a while back, but I don't know if we ever get got
into fleshing everything out specifically for him.
Well, he has a crock. I'm gonna say he's probably not
very graceful, so should I just roll a flat D20 for now?
You can. Otherwise, you can look up a
alligator or crocodile and add their bonuses.
Oh, Yep. That's probably good.
So what are we rolling? Acrobatics.
Athletics. Acrobatics.
OK, so that's dexterity plus zero.
Awesome. Well, wow, We both did bad.
I'm riding on top of him and we both rolled bad.
I rolled a three. He rolled A2.
What about Hamilton there? You might be muted and none of
that came through. I said I'm sorry.
I didn't know you wanted me to roll one too.
So. Yes, please.
Place. No normal role.
I mean, oh. Boy, we get a new player.
Flint's going to be. A very interesting addition to
the other team. I know, right?
We have a flying ship and we can shoot cannons out of a gun.
No, that's Hamilton. Hamilton's got the gun.
Oh, does he? Yeah.
It just ends up whenever we have a combined session that Flint
ends up with it. Because Hamilton gives it to him
because Hamilton's not that destructive.
Yeah. He only turned one girl into red
mists. He.
What class is Hamilton? Ranger, sorry.
Rogue. Sorry, Rogue. 14 That's kind of
poopy. So as you're getting really
close to Bob, everyone else is kind of piled on to him.
At this point, your feet hit solid ground in.
Go ahead and roll me another Dexterity saving throw,
everyone. Oh God.
Yay. With this advantage for those
that had rolled poorly before, I apologize.
Oh, no. You're so advantage.
No. Oh.
God deck save, right? Yep, Hamilton, that 15.
Is oh you fuck. Oh, I got a Nat 22.
I had a 19 and now I've got a 7A7.
And 11:00 and. 11 for Ash was 6 for Bob Bob the crocodile.
You guys all end up on a heap, on the ground and take five
damage from a. It feels like if you've just
fell from a very kind of, honestly, not that high of a
height. You guys are all winded though,
laying on the ground with with Hamilton standing gracefully
next to you. Hi.
Hi people. Is everybody OK?
What what is? Help.
I landed on my back. I can't get up.
I'm stuck. Oh, I.
Have to. Take Hamilton or not Hamilton,
Franklin, the other in I go help Franklin.
Hamilton would recognize Franklin because we did have a
back and forth one. Oh yeah, through the torques.
Yeah, yeah. We lost our ability to talk to
each other, no. Yeah, you look at you, you you
look at Franklin and you get a very distinct image of turtle
butt hole in your head. Look.
Oh, I I recognize you. I I kind of wish I didn't.
But I do. I help help Franklin flip him
over. Thanks guys.
You're also helpful. Help somebody else out.
Everybody good, Everybody good. You guys are mostly intact, and
you're standing what looks like in front of a bar that reads The
Greedy Gremlin, and outside of that, you're quite sure this is
some sort. It almost looks like the
interior of a volcano, because they're.
Besides having gathered your wits about yourself just now,
you're starting to sweat profusely if you can sweat.
I don't know if turtles can actually.
And but everybody else is feeling the heat as it were, as
lava is is no more than well actually it'd be magma five
10/15/2020 5:30 feet away from you guys with a bridge over to a
small little town it looks like. And some entrances to a cavern
directly in front of you that seemed to be closed off, with
some other pathways to the North East that lead to.
Unclear. Locations.
As of right now, all I have is a screen of blackness.
It's probably not. Screen of Darkness.
As well, it's Screen of Darkness.
Yep, it is my fault. How about now?
There we go. Something just flashed, I'm
zoomed way in. Zoom away from my computer for
the moment. Oh, you're good.
Yay. Have a.
Black screen. You might be in a different
section. That's racist.
Damn. Oh my crocodile's a mini
crocodile. What happened?
Instead division turn. Mirrors.
On. Save the.
Network. Yep, that worked.
Yeah, your crocodile did kind of flatten out.
You did get landed on by a bunch of people, so.
I go to Bob and I'm like, oh, Bob, are you OK?
And I'm stroking his head. Oh, real skinny.
So he he like, shakes himself out and he goes into a little
skinnier form of himself. Then fine Mistress just lost a
couple pounds. I continue to like, pet and
stroke his head and scratch under his chin and I was like,
oh man, that was scary. I'm so sorry.
That seems awkwardly attached to Bob.
And Manny Polos chimes in on everyone's torques and he goes,
ah, that's so much nicer. A little bit more room to move
down here. Where'd you guys go though?
I stand up and look around. I'm like, we are in some place
very hot and I kinda like pull my collar away from my neck.
Hot must be up towards the. Think we're at a bar?
Oh yeah, What did the bar say? Anywhere in hell.
I read the bar name out loud. The greedy gremlin, he goes.
Greedy, greedy or gritty? Greedy as in greed.
Turn to the others about 21. Well, technically I am.
Technically I have like 3000, but you know.
Maybe you should be of drinking age then.
Oh, it sounds like you. Guys went up a level then.
That's weird. Yeah, it sounds like you're on
the 4th level of hell. Yeah, I think we broke the seal.
Or well, Flint broke the seal. I look at Hamilton and then we
trade it. Hamilton chimes.
But what? What?
What do you what do you mean by being in hell?
Doesn't he? He has a Manny Torque, doesn't
he? Yeah.
So I can malfear speaking. Two of him though, so he's been
just speaking with, trying to speak with us anyways, as far as
I know. And and where is?
Where is James? I just seen him.
What is going on? Oh.
I turned to him. And I'm like, I'd like to know
that too. What did you do with Flint?
I I I don't know. I I thought I was having a dream
and I seen him and I reached out for him and next thing I know
I'm here. I walk over to Flint and I poke
him in the arm to make sure he's.
Hamilton. Is, Yeah.
I walk over to Hamilton and I poke him in the arm to just make
sure that he's like physically here.
Like, yeah, that that's person. We're not hallucinating, that's.
Person. I poke him too.
You have tender flesh. Don't.
Worry I won't poke you. Yeah, welcome to hell.
Oh wait, no, I shouldn't be. I shouldn't be.
That confused. You were?
Yeah, didn't we? Because we all know each other's
memories. Yep, but you would still be
disoriented I would say. But now it's kind of being set
set in, probably like. Yeah, so me playing the whole
panic freaky out thing, I guess it works.
Panic for sure. Probably would also panic and
freak out if I was transported to hell and was fully aware of
it, so yeah. Yeah, and that, like the last
place you were was on the boat or no.
Yeah, wouldn't we? We were back on the boat having
a discussion about what shit that just happened with the
dragon. Yeah, you were celebrating just
before this and then had all gone to sleep for the most part.
Tur to rest. And that's when, when you went
to sleep, Hamilton, you had seen the mirror in your bed chambers.
Oh, so how did I end up here? We would like to know the same
thing, actually. Yeah, we were just in a room
talking to a demon about trying to break a mirror.
That could potentially break you.
Not you specifically. Like the person who interacted
with the mirror, yeah. And you're saying James
interacted? With the Would we have noticed
him walking up to the mirror? Like, did he actually?
I saw I'm. Going to go due to the talk to
the mirror or whatever. Yeah, I said, out loud.
I have an idea. I'm going to try something.
OK, and I watched everyone would because I have dark mission.
I think everyone would have ultimately been aware that he
was walking towards the mirror, but it would have been more of a
subconscious thing because you guys were trying to figure out
what to do exactly. And we're talking to the Demon
Fries specifically is what how it was playing that anyhow.
So it was more of a subconscious awareness that Flint did walk up
to the mirror. OK, so yeah, Flint did walk up
to the mirror, interacted with it, And then everything went
dark. The world crumbled around us.
We fell through the air, and now we're here and you're here.
So hello. So the mirror is a portal.
Maybe it was, but I think it's broken now.
Yeah, we also don't know how to get back to it.
We can get back. Pull the sliver out of my hand.
I got a piece of the beer. It's a little tiny piece.
I fell on it. Well, we should put that in
something to keep it safe. Put it in one of my vials that I
have that has other people's blood.
Oh, Mr. Hamilton, I don't think. Honestly, I don't.
We could try to get you home, but you should get a few things
if you're going to be traveling with us for a bit for your own
safety. OK, what?
What will I need while I'm here besides Fan hot?
Yeah, it's always hot here. You're literally in hell.
I hope you're not a heavy sweater.
I pull out a poop chain necklace and accompanying a good Berry
that I slide on, hand it over to him.
All right, so item number one is the key to our house and I hold
up the rock. This is our house.
Give. This Guy a key Should we?
Know him. This is Flint.
Hamilton. No, you're Yeah, yes, you're
Hamilton, but you're also Flint, just like I'm Franklin and
Rarrell, I think. Which of the Rarrels?
That's right, I have weird memories of a misogynistic
chicken. I trust him.
I walk over and I hug him. We never should have broke that
4th wall. Man, this is confusing.
Yeah, we just. Looked at the 3rd wall.
The third, anyway. I mean, I can withhold the stuff
if you guys want. We don't trust him.
But I narrow my eyes and back away and take out a gun.
No, I don't have a gun. Take out a take out a knife.
I don't have a gun yet. Yet we should make.
No, we should airpower. No.
Give the turtle a weapon? No.
All right. Anyway, so if we all agree,
just, you know, for safekeeping, this is the teleporter of the
house, and this one is a last minute.
Oh my God. Someone threw an axe at the
mirror and exploded. It almost never died.
Emergency healing. Oh well, thank you of.
Course I'll hug him again. You're one of us.
They're a friendly little guy. I don't think you really belong
in this world, do you? He know he really, he really
does have. To look at the others should
gather out our surroundings. Yeah, I'm going to wander over
to this bar. Come on, Bob.
To the stairs and the two goblins hold that are standing
off to either side that look almost as if they are made of
the same magma that that's bubbling down below that you can
hear and feel. Hold up their hands towards you
guys and go in goblin. Probably actually too.
Like you can tell that they're trying to tell you to stop
though if you don't. That one.
That was Goblin. I know, Goblin.
I thought you might for some reason.
I had a feeling. So they.
I I picked a lot of short phrases to know the language of
Dwarvish gnomish goblin. They say Oz.
I I do stop and I call back to them and I ask, hail where are
we? As charming as I can in my most
perfect goblin accent. They both look at each other and
get kind of a grin on their faces and they say.
Yeah, that's level of hell. How did you not know that you're
here? Where did you just come from?
The ceiling. They both look up.
They don't see any holes in the ceiling.
It just is a rocky mass up there.
And they go, it was. Weird.
Did you say the fourth level of hell?
Indeed. We just solved a very
interesting puzzle and appeared here by Magic.
Isn't that cool? We're cool like that.
Oh, they both just kind of get a weird look on their face.
And you go, that does tend to happen.
I'm sorry for your loss, but hey, is it where the girly
goblin, the one that accepts patrons that will serve, which
are up there of the pay variety? Of the paying variety.
Yes, of course. Don't worry, we can pay for
ourselves. Yeah, that OK, yeah, they both
look at each other and they go, oh, it's about 100 gold sound
then the one that's been talking says.
To get in. Yes.
It's just a regular entry fee. All right, so I reach into my
bag and I pull out a Amethyst gem and I just Chuck and I just,
like, underhand it to one of them.
They grab it. The the one that's been talking,
let me see here, actually, let me, let me roll.
He grabs it definitely out of the air and looks at it, shines
it on his shirt and goes shoves it in his pocket.
Cover about 10 gold. Got about 90 more to go. 10 gold
From where I'm from, that's worth a whole lot more.
Well, they don't have probably, they probably don't have people
that need to work on these things.
That was a pretty rough cut, Jim.
So they said one amethyst is worth 10 gold.
Yes, he did say that. OK.
Least of the one that you tossed at him.
So wait, do we need 10 gold per person?
IA 100 gold should cover you all.
Just kind of says not chalantly. 100 gold should cover us all,
but there's only five of us. You would only need 50 gold.
And I try to persuade him I'm like, what if I just give you
one more gem? Go ahead and roll per station.
33. That was a natural.
He goes sure, fine. I guess they, you know, I feel
generous today. I reach into my bag and I pull
out a blue sapphire and I toss that to them.
He, the other one, starts to open the door before he even
finished tossing it to him and he grabs it.
Guys are able to enter, you see. Through.
Oh yeah, come on friends. I don't even think there's a
door symbol. Let me see if I can fix that.
Oh yeah, is the way over there. That's a Winder place Dir dink
dink. Oh.
Change this up a little bit on me, huh?
Yeah. Oh yeah.
There you go. I'm arching with Bob right
behind me, and the first thing I'm gonna do is walk up to the
bar. If I see it, do I see it?
You do. It is to the right as you walk
in. It seems to be a very.
Let me see here you see it over the tops of some booths that are
very well kept in actually. You may not notice it actually,
but Hamilton definitely would just because the height
differences. Yeah, I'm pretty short and Bob
is against the ground, so we just start wandering around.
Yep. And then how tall are you too?
I am like about like 5 foot. I'm like 511.
Franklin. It's Elveser.
Elveser Elveser. Tall and lanky.
Franklin's only four. 4/4 and 1/2 right around there, yeah.
So only Palin and Hamilton would be the ones to 1st off see the
bar in the direction. Otherwise everyone else sees
just booths, tables laid out, some nice chandeliers.
The walls are all very thick. Very rock hewn almost is.
This like a city. Are you saying that the the
guards or? Yeah, I I say this out loud, but
I imagine at this point, if Hamilton allows it, Franklin's
been holding his hand. Oh, then you got to walk with
Hamilton. He's walked inside.
Yeah, I know. I'm always from my computer.
One second, sorry. I was bringing groceries up.
Oh, you're good. So if you're in that case,
you're you're standing next to the Hamilton and saying that to
him and he's probably shrugging. Like, yeah, I mean, I Hamilton,
he's just gonna act like this is normal and he's like, yeah, OK,
OK. Uh huh.
You can see Ash looking around, not knowing where to go.
Hamilton. Like as we walk in here, but
like, you know what? After everything we've just been
through, I could definitely use A and I'll start heading to the
bar. The A is flipped.
I'm just going to follow Hamilton to the bar.
Yeah, I definitely could use a drink always at this point.
Guys saddle on up to the bar and the nervous looking goblin
behind he goes. Hit ya?
I will have a nice Brandy if you would please.
I don't know how about how much on the nice part I can get, but
I can definitely work up something on the Brandy part and
the goes kind of jitteringly off to the to a couple barrels that
he's got lined up along the wall and some glasses he starts
organizing around. I I look at Hamilton, I'm like,
do you have any currency to pay this guy with?
Oh, I As long as I accept gold down here, I do have quite a bit
of gold on. Oh, only souls.
Sorry, I wink at the others. He comes walking back to the bar
and sets down 2 glasses. You should be couple right?
Sure. I'll, I'll take it's.
It's been quite a. Sets the two down in front of
you that you ordered. Can I?
Can I get you all anything else? What do you have?
Barkeep. Well, depends upon who's asking
and how, how much we're willing to pay.
So before he takes his hand off the glasses, he looks at you
fluent, or I mean Hamilton too, while you're trying to grab him
off of him. And he goes to Silver.
And he goes, Wait, how much did the guards charge you with the
door? Too much charge Just 100 gold.
Engines is free Anyways, I guess you could have these two on the
House. Oh.
My God, I pull out another. Bruce Sapphire and just set it
and I was like here, hold on to this for me until we completely
spend it and then you can have it.
He goes, he he picks it up, he holds it up to the light and
then he rubs it on his shirt and then he looks at it again and he
goes, there's a little bit of work and he shoves it in her
pocket. Probably get you all a drink
though. Frothy.
That's another.
I have a bunch I can work with that I guess.
Anyone else? Just bring me any ale you have.
Do you have ale? Yes, of course.
I'll also do an ale. I need 2/1 in your largest cup,
please. Would Bob me a straw?
Probably just been dumping stuff into his mouth and when I've
been feeding him I've just been like chucking it into his mouth.
But I mean like if they have a straw, I'm sure he would love
it. I'm just, I'm just sitting here
getting a crocodile drunk. That is my D&D campaign now.
Mother Day. He goes to whales.
Something frothy? OK, Oh, wait.
Three ales, you say. Right.
Yes, yes, I want an ales. And then he goes and walks
actually through this door, and you hear just behind the bar and
you hear some muffled noises before the door closes and he
comes back out and he goes, he sets down one really frothy
reddish green glass in front of you, Franklin.
And then a bluish huge actually ale the three glasses in front
of Ash, who seems to be standing closest to the bar with Phelan
still out in the entry. Oh, did I not move myself in?
Whoops. She's just yelling from the
door. Can I get alcohol please?
Wrong direction. I don't know where I go.
Aha, doubt it. But I take the biggest glass
that he brought out and I'll ask him, like, do you have a straw?
Are those things that you haves, You haves?
Haves and he goes inside. They went out to animals here
and he pulls out like a a metal straw and sets it in the glass.
I'd So I'd pick up the biggest cup that he gave me with the
straw in it and I set it down in front of Bob and I'm like, will
this do you? And just and then tries to,
like, put the straw in his mouth.
He doesn't have lips. I don't know if the straw will
work. He's kind of chomps down on it
awkwardly. Yeah.
He just kind of puts his whole front face on top of it,
including the straw, and you see him tilt his head back.
I decide to help him out. I'm like, here, let me make sure
you get a good drink out of this.
Everyone, roll me Constitution. Who's.
Drinking Constitution, saving throw.
Mm hmm. Oh damn.
I don't like these Lego die anymore.
They're mean to me. I'm changing.
Yeah, don't like not being able to see the number until it's
already rolled. I rolled separately and got a
six. So everyone's tipsy.
You have advantage on Charisma based checks and saving throws,
except for sounded like Ash. I got a 15 and what did I just
say? He got a 16 Popped it.
Yep. So both you two are enjoying
your beverages of choice, which actually start to we realize
maybe is that a blue Raspberry kind of it's kind of chilled.
Maybe it's a slushy. And there's definitely alcohol
in it. Oh, 100%.
All right, that's all I'm worried about.
I'll drink this blue slushy. And As for the Brandy, Hamilton,
you're probably realizing that it's a little bit punched up
than what you're used to, and you're wondering whether or not
they use stone or something burnt in it because that Brandy
is. Strong.
With your eyebrows you feel maybe start to melt or
something, I don't know. His nose hairs curl.
I guess I should have expected this being where we're at.
And Franklin, what looks like to be a awe karmic.
I actually already forget what color I said.
And I said it not only moments. Ago said like blue and red and
blue or something. Red.
I thought I. Thought it was red too.
You You're tasting milk, but it's almost as if the creature
that had been giving the milk had been under duress.
So it's a bit of an irony tinge to it, but somehow that works
and gets you. Back So this is the first time
Franklin's ever drunk, so I'm going to say he gets.
Trashed. Immediately.
Wait, we didn't? Give him alcohol at the last bar
with. Franklin's always been ordering
just milk. This is the first time someone's
given him alcohol. See, I kind of expected him to
just give him like milk that they frothed up.
That's what I was expecting, but it's alcohol.
It's a goblin place. It's going to be goth, yeah,
It's going to be alcohol. Yeah, Franklin's just sitting
there, very tipsy. Turns to theirs.
Do you think this place also has that thing where if I give them
my other arm, I'll get other superpowers?
I do not. Think they will My right arm?
Bartender, can I sell you my arm?
Well, if you could, but I'm not sure if I'm forgot the goblin
accent already. Sure you.
Can use your hand around here. I walked over to Franklin and I
just put my hand on his arm and I'm like, no, that was Manny.
That wasn't the bar. Don't worry about it.
Oh. I looked back at the door.
Those guys robbed us. He stands up.
That sounds nice. You're in the greedy part of
hell. I want to see if I can convince
them to give us our money back. I'm gonna convince them they
could be my money back. Oh, I should.
No, I'm I'm oh, God, I'm I'm going off with Franklin to make
sure he doesn't kill anyone. So the reason I'm going to try
to I'm going to try to peacefully talk with the goblins
at the front to try to convince them to give us their gold back.
I. Didn't give them any gold.
Yeah, it was gems I gave them. I just.
I. Said to the bartender that we
paid 100 gold because that's what they asked for, but that's
essentially OK. So essentially not what we paid.
Hold on, let me get back to my character sheet.
I clicked away from it. But you gave them a sapphire.
It's got to be worth more than just the tag gold they thought
it was. I gave them a.
Lucer. Fire and an amethyst.
Yeah, those are literal gemstones, not You could buy a
person for tag gold on the right floor.
Right, I have a mark down with all these.
Floors. He's very tipsy and he starts
wandering toward the exit. I'm following him.
So the amethysts are supposed to be, I guess, 100 gold a piece.
And the blue sapphires, I think, are 1000 gold a piece?
Yeah. So I'm getting our money back
for the sake of getting the money back.
But there was a reason. OK, so I there was a reason I
was going to ask you this, Josh. I have a bag full of gems
because I am trying to organize all of my notes because I have
them spread across like 3 sketchbooks.
Yep. Taking notes and I have tons and
tons of gems in my bag, specifically just Ash's bag and
like a lot of them. So I was like, oh, I'm going to
start using these. This is a source of currency.
But also they charged us for something that's free, so I'm
getting it back. Yeah, you guys got the get those
from the that. That chest No.
Just a desire, I wanted to say, yeah.
So we're in the fourth level of hail.
So that was greed. And we just came from anger.
Anger. Oh.
Lightning, anger and sexual frustration.
Everything was coming everywhere.
Maybe. Yeah, because I have wonder.
Is sexy Satan. That's just the whole level.
Is Sexy Satan? No, that's level 9.
Who is? Satan.
Sexy. Apparently he is here.
Level 4. And yeah, we had a list at some
point. Greed.
If you go to trying. To think of is this based off of
like Dante's Inferno levels? Little bit, yeah.
Dante, add four more levels I want to say, but if you go to
Manipulus under the handout and that's in your journal, it
should be the The Levels of Hell is a is a handout there and that
should give you at least the the, the, the numbers.
I I should update that with because you did get newer
information about exactly what those were.
I did send like a screenshot of what I was thinking, which is
loosely based on Dante's Inferno, but it's not fully
because I kind of book liberties.
Yeah, you guys are in Aura, which is greed.
Yeah, I have a list of 12 levels and what they are.
You'd already cleared 3, which was gluttony.
So we cleared 3 and we just did anger, which is five.
Did we do one before that? You were in limbo, which you've
never really, I would say cleared, but you'd never really
had to in my opinion. It was me just giving you an
interstitial space before I figured out how to run hell
slash because I did Never expected you guys to just burst
into hell at level. What the fuck were you like?
4. Yeah, we were real low.
We were like, oh, this is a door to hell.
Fuck yeah. Let's go in despite all of our
DMS like. Are you sure?
Yeah, you're super sure. Yeah.
I also have written down just on the side of my notes.
Not very well Puzzle cube. Solving the puzzle will end
everything. I am not that good at taking
notes, but I take. A lot of them.
I have a. Little history real quick.
Yeah. Where did it go?
Griselda had one. 14. You do remember that Griselda
was the last one to hold it, and you kind of vaguely remember
that was how you'd gotten into this level of hell after freeing
Loki last. Also, there's a sense that you
mamboed in from that limbo place after having solved a cube with
Tanaka. Mm hmm.
I do remember Mamboing in and limbo.
And there was this, like Rubik's Cube that Griselda had.
Dodecahedron I think it was. Yeah, try deca Tri decahedron,
which was 13 sided. Yeah, it says, torturing Loki
with a table. Oh no, wait, that was in that
room. That's the good campaign.
Yeah, that was the good campaign.
We're so good. He was my first kill.
Also all especially those that are drunk hearing this constant
Ting Ting Ting in the background that almost sounds starts to
sound like music to you. Cool, I'm convincing the goblins
to give us or gems back. So you you you saunter on out
outside with Franklin and tow it looks like.
He'll be a little behind her to give her a chance before
Franklin bursts out angrily. He's an angry drunk, I've
decided. That's honestly in character.
It probably. Depends on what he's had to
drink. Yeah, that's true.
And who he's around. The situation, knowing that he's
been robbed, definitely angry drunk.
Easily, I would say easily. Overly emotional in whatever
situation. Probably better, I was failing
exiting the bar and approaching the guards then.
I view her as one of those, as one of those like white girl
wasted types who definitely is too touchy, too flirty, and very
much so is like, I don't even know what's happening.
Like what? Like that type.
Oh my God, no way. So she was like very messily
sort of open the door, leaning against it and then end up
leaning against one of the goblins to be like, hey, so
like, I learned that you actually didn't have to pay for
coming in here. And I was just really, really
wondering if we could just, like, get our gems back.
Because, you know, like, I know you guys are doing such a good
job out here, like defending, making sure no one shady comes
in here, But like, we're giving you business inside, So like,
why do we have to give you business outside?
Really. Persuasion.
I'm gonna say in my like, after I, like told Franklin not to
sell his arm, I just went back to helping Bob continue to drink
and did. You say that.
Just the fact. See Get advantage on Charisma
stuff. Yeah, yeah.
You do Charisma base checks. Which persuasion?
Is being advantage on it? Yep.
Just hit him with the whole classic.
Come on. This is 22.
Maybe you can get higher. Oh, I already did it with
Advantage. I rolled A14 and A-15.
Oh, OK. I see.
I didn't I It only came shows me the the.
Yeah, the one higher one, I guess.
So. I rolled a 14 and a 15, so it
was either a 21 or a 22. Nice.
So he just he just go?
He sighs and he goes, yeah, Qantas.
Well, welcome to the Greenie Goblin, I guess.
Oh my gosh, I get the name. It's so creative.
I'm just imagining. Him slapping him on the back, I
am. Absolutely.
Like doing like the like slap on the back, like the touch on the
shoulder, like Oh my God. You're so squirky.
Yeah. Give us back our money.
Yeah, so, like, Oh my God, that's so creative.
So, like, can we get them back though?
We are giving you business inside.
I promise, if you can't already tell, we've had a couple of
drinks and we're definitely gonna have more.
A couple of drinks in like the two minutes we've been in here,
he. Goes well again with the name.
I mean, you get what you pay for, but if you're willing to
shout out a little bit more and he gives you the up and down and
kind of gestures with his head around the corner even, Right
partner. Break it down to dark alley.
Franklin jumps in. Yeah, I'm willing to do that.
Lily walks. Away with him.
Wait, Franklin, are you jumping in?
No, I I want to give you a chance to do what you want to
do. But he's on his way.
I mean, no, he's on his way with like to confront them.
So you probably could expect to be interrupted by an angry
turtle quickly. I don't want to go down a dark
alley with two goblins. Use the angry turtle option.
Be like, hey, I'm just trying to help you out before this angry
turtle. So you know, any other time it's
short, but just know you said that turtle that came in with us
earlier, he's not very happy about learning that.
We kind of were taking advantage of and I'm just trying to save
you guys before he comes busting in here.
He's crazy. They both look at each other.
It look a little unhinged. I mean, I haven't seen one one
of his kind around for some time, but well, I mean I think
we could like I said give give him the both of them back if you
want to step around the corner there.
The perfect time for the turtle to show up.
What I'm saying this is the perfect time to.
Bust through the door. When you guys want me to bust
out, let me know. But I think this is your timing
A. Bossing.
So if if that's what we're if we're wanting to have me burst
in, it's then Franklin gets to the door.
I don't know if there's a like a window or something that I can
see out, but as soon as I walk out I have previous.
I have cast a form of dread as I approach the door and you just
see like pitch black eyes, undead skin, like like riddled
with maggots And just like a dark smoke billowing off of him
as he opens the door, looks at the goblins, casts evil eye on
the one that took the gems, and he needs to make a wisdom saving
throw. Just goes hardcore right from
the fucking room. Immediate.
It's like I tried to save the man, but they wanted to take
advantage of me, absolutely. Not so.
So they both see you coming out looking like that and look back
at Phelan. And the the one that took the
gems just just puts both of them in your hand and says yeah,
yeah, absolutely sorry for yeah, it was just a fun joke, you
know? I'm gonna.
I'm gonna turn around Franklin. I'll be like we got him back.
You're all good. You don't need to do anything
more. Leave them be.
He walks straight up to one of them, whispers in their ear.
I like to eat people like you, and then steps back, drops form
of dread, turns back to failures.
Yay, we do that, let's get this. And then turns around and runs
back on. Beautiful performance.
Beautiful. Wait.
Were those goblins wearing shoes?
Were is the key key form of that, because now they're just
filled with shit. Because has anyone seen the
videos of how turtles react to black shoes?
No. No.
What? Apparently turtles hate black
shoes and they will head butt them like the little the
tortoises. Oh my gosh.
Yeah, if I'll have to find it and see that, I can share one.
End of the discord. I hate black shoes.
Every shoe store I come across I burn down.
No. God.
He goes back and happy as a clam.
Wow. That could be like one of those
negative traits on. Your character, those shoes now
are in position of that amethyst and.
Amethyst. And Blue Sapphire shimmy my way
back to. Side and I'm gonna make my way
back to the bar and hand them back to ash.
I'm gonna look surprisingly up at you.
I'm like, oh wow, thanks and fumble them.
You should really think you should really thank Franklin.
He was the real big selling point.
He's really good when he's scary.
Hey, you just gotta be nice to people, you know?
I stand up and I walk over to Franklin and I give him a hug
because I know he likes hugging and I'm like, thanks Franklin.
He leans into it. And then I go back to.
Getting Bob drunk. So seeing this and I'll lean
over to Ash, kind of quietly be like, so I guess we're drinking
for free today, huh? So we're drinking up until that.
Yeah, up until that sapphire, which is 1000 gold.
So we can. Drink that whole fucking place.
Never mind. Holy shit.
Yeah, I gave him a separate sapphire.
So OK. So let me, let me just read a
little bit off to you. I have 51 now 52 sapphires.
Worth 1000 gold, you said? Yeah, one is worth 1000 gold.
Oh my God. Yeah, that's why I was like.
Why do I have so many? Of these and then I have a bunch
of random stones like bloodstone, a black Pearl, a
blackish, a bell. We should hire some mercenaries.
We should here. Here are some pretty rocks.
Now go do what we want. Here, we'll say.
Here you guys go. Unlock the the different seals?
Well, we could open up a bakery. I mean anyway like.
Keep a little minion with us just for, like, sacrificial
reasons. I mean here's the thing, should
we hire staff for the pocket rocket to like, keep it clean?
Cause I've got like my guys, but like you know, they don't have
thumbs. Yeah, that'd be nice to have
someone clean up, take care of the baby, cook us food.
I'd. I'd be down.
Yeah, the the Nervous Goblin behind the bar.
Time's in with us. I don't know your guys's names,
but mine mine's mine's of Steve. Hi, Steve, I say.
Hi Steve, it's nice to meet you, giving him like a big grin and
looking just as charming as possible.
And I'm like, my name is Ash and my friend down here is Bob.
And I point like down behind the bar, right next to me.
OK. Where'd she go?
She's in that box behind that chair.
Is she still mean mugging Nothing?
No, but it's almost like she was like, I remember that box.
Just went straight to it. Got in.
Now she's loafing, OK? No.
So where did Carma was? Sitting on my lap.
And then she just stuck her head up like she saw something.
So me and Jess were both on alert, like what's what's over
there moving. Yeah, I was worried it was a
mouse or something. And she just walked over to that
box, got in it and loafed down. Oh cats all.
Right. So what are you guys doing here?
How'd you get here? Oh.
It's an occasion touring the countryside.
Can you recommend any good places to visit on this level of
hell? You're in it.
It's about the best you got here, the greedy goblin.
Do you know any way to get out of hell?
You're funny. No, I I lean in towards them and
I'm like, but do you know of anything cool to see?
Like weird statues, maybe mirrors that suck people in,
giant key holes that you could put a tree in?
Things along those lines, Anything like?
That. Oh well.
Besides where we're at currently, I mean, we're just in
the mineshaft of this person, part of hell.
Everything else that we send up the way down to the master,
that's about all I know. Besides that, I just got to keep
everyone who's happy and that comes in.
That's my job. Down to the master.
Yep. Who's that?
Oh, we just know him as the master.
They're not allowed to ask so many questions.
You could probably, if you're, you know, glutton for
punishment, go to the church. They like questions, but at the
same time they don't. Never know the church to like
questions. Yeah, they get mad at you
normally. Yeah, but no, they'll answer
them. They'll just be mad at you.
No. No.
Answer them. I looked to you the others air
quotes answer that. Yeah, I just chuckle a little
bit. I'm like, I bet you we could get
some answers. But well, since since I guess we
are in hell, wouldn't the master be the devil?
Just innocent Hamilton assets. Yeah.
No. Deity.
You're funny deity. I like deities.
No, no, your counterpoint power doesn't.
If you want to know more, I mean I I don't know too much more.
I really just get drinks and if you want any more food you could
you could dock me. You guys are pretty much settled
up for the day easily, but hey. Oh.
Hey, I turned. I turned to ash.
Should we buy this place? Should we buy?
This place. Should we buy this place and
then make it make money for us? I don't know.
How would we get the money? Well, yeah, capitalism.
Franklin gets a spark in his eye for some reason.
Capitalism's so dark. Very in in theme for this
campaign. I don't know, he said.
Go to the church if we want to ask questions, but they don't
like to answer questions. Yeah, but they'll answer.
But they'll be mad about it. If if you he seems to have
overheard what you were speculating about buying it and
he goes. But I I was about to say too, if
you if you want to talk to build dress over there at the Forge.
He's one of the ones that current owner probably the
majority share. Well, this bar.
Yes, he he probably know a good bit too.
He talks a lot with the church. I'm unfortunately just, you
know, one of his minions employee.
Owned. Wow.
Yeah, I just got to. The employee of the month
though. That is so good.
And I'm like, I can tell you are such a good barkeep, I say again
being as sweet as possible and I flick 1 gold coin to him.
And. Roll.
I look at Hamilton. Hey bud, can you do something
for me? He drops it before he picks it
up off the ground and he puts it in his in his mouth to check it
and then throws it between behind his waistband.
I wink at him, and then I saunter over to the guy at the
forge. Possibly Little Buddy.
What? What do you need?
Have you ever seen the sky or the ocean?
I have. Could you describe them for me?
No scooching. I feel sad.
I've only ever known caves and basements.
Well, you're thinking on that based in.
Basements. Oh my God.
You. I run over and hug Franklin
before saundering. Back over to the.
Smithy. You go over to Bildreth, who
doesn't even look up at you before, while he's sweating and
hammering away, grunting all the while in between the the slams
of the the hammer. I just watch him for a minute or
two before complimenting him on his exquisite form.
It just grunts an acknowledgement before.
I'm going to continue to wait there and just kind of, like,
wait for him to have a moment where maybe he puts the metal
back in the forge to heat it back up before I ask him any
questions. Like trying to be as, like,
polite and timely as possible instead of being like, hey, I
know you're doing something, but talk to me, I'm gonna try to not
do that. Sure.
Anyone else have time to fill the air?
More drunken activities about talking about drinking.
I'm just getting told what the real world is like.
Yeah, I'm a I'm explaining this as best I can.
I'm also curious, 'cause I lived in underground my entire life as
well. So I am.
I'm a. Drow.
I don't go out in the day. Oh, you're a Drow?
Yeah. I don't know why I thought you
were a high out. No, I'm bad Elf.
Not Bad Elf, Evil Elf. Not Evil Elf either really, It
all depends. But I'm underground elf.
Depends on the situation. Depends on if I follow lol which
in this in this timely yes but. Oh, I turn.
I like lean back and I I see the Forge guy hammering and she's
approaching her and I call out hey, see if he bakes.
Arbor and I lean into the others.
We've got an entire pocket rocket full of Adam Antine.
I wish you gear up. More armor because I have not
gotten new armor in a. Hot minute Sorcerer.
I can't wear shit. I'm still wearing my.
Sparkly clothes I. Literally can't wear armor.
I'm. I wish I was joking.
I'm literally not proficient in any armor I love well.
That's why you. Get not even light armor.
Nope. Yeah.
I guess. Nudity it is.
Sorcerers literally cannot wear armor Mithril.
You get. Takes away all of the
disadvantages. Yeah.
There's certain armors that you are proficient in if you wear it
like Alvin Chain is that way. Like there's certain ones that
are like that, but. We should, we should go shopping
later because this is the first time I think any of us have been
anywhere that has any sort of store.
Yeah, any sort of Smithy or? Because what was it?
Somebody skinned a frog, A giant frog, to make their own armor.
Oh yeah, that's right. And I ate.
I'm pretty sure I ate its eyes. Oh God, that'd be so cool to
have frogs. Yeah, we should.
We should go shopping at some point.
Especially if you know, assuming Ash, you would be acceptable.
We have a cerebral money. We could spend the gear up when
we have the chance. That's fine.
I'll be the sugar Mama. I shared that.
I shared that video of that turtle, by the way.
I was just going to look something up and now I forgot
what it was. At that point, Ash, while you're
standing there patiently, you see Bill Dreth wipe his brow,
pick up the piece that he's working on, puts it back into
the forge, and starts working the bellows.
I will saunter a little bit closer to him and I want to ask
him and I'm like, so I heard that you are.
Did they say part owner or that they just had like chairs?
Majority. Majority.
Majority shares, I heard that you had majority shares in this
place. I miss, he says, with a much
gruffer accent than what you've heard so far.
I asked him if he has anything that he's willing to sell.
Depends on who's asking and for how much.
Everything's got its price. Didn't use the work, the
bellows. I lean in a little bit.
I was like, well, I'm the one asking and I mean I I don't know
how much do you need. Well then you've got a problem
on your hands because you find yourself in the greedy goblin
and if everyone's asking for a price, it's gonna be high I.
I I chuckle at that and I was like, I bet, I bet.
Do you have any armor for sale in this place?
Not in this place. This just be where I do some of
my hobby crafting. I have some in the off branches.
Well, I would. I would greatly appreciate it if
you could direct us to there after our talk's here.
I ask him if he is willing to sell his shares in this place.
Well. Earns me a mighty coin.
That's why I'm here today, making sure that Steve over
there doesn't just give all the drinks away for free.
What did you pay him, by the way?
Shit, what rock did I give him? I gave him one blue sapphire.
Oh, OK, yeah, that should probably hold him pretty good,
but yeah, tends to be a little squirrely.
It seems like so far all the ones I've met here seem to be a
little squirrely are. Would you consider yourself a
squirrely? I know I'm about as solid as the
rock that I mine. I look him up and down and I go.
I can see that. He takes the compliment in
stride and pulls the piece that he's been working out out of the
forge, holds it up close to him so that the light glows off of
his sweating form before he sets it back onto the forge or onto
the anvil and starts picking up the hammer.
I will wait for him to beat his hammer, like, just give him
time, like continue the conversation when he's done
Again, trying to be polite as possible because I want to get
as much as I can out of this. What about failing you guys and
order another round it sounded like.
Yeah, I. I call out.
I'm like, can someone bring me another drink please?
I'll bring her another drink before I start drinking my
second one, just to make sure that I actually get it to her.
You. Guys, get the order the same
blue slushy I would. Yeah.
Goblin Blue Slushy. Is that the drink we should make
for the arrhythmic veracity? Yes.
I like the way that sounds. Goblin.
OK, I'm writing it down. It's.
A really good for the time of the year, I'd say.
Wait, was I given this man's name yet?
This goblin. 'S name?
Bill Dress. Bill dress.
Yep. Does Franklin order order up to
with Hamilton? I.
Still drink, So I'm just starting on that one.
Oh, OK, that's going to all roll me Constitution saving 0.
I I I was the same when I called out and also I actually do.
Pretty good now. To give Bob another drink as
long as he wants one, which I'm sure he.
Does I? Actually, that second one didn't
affect me. I'm still the same level of
white girl wasted. I rolled an 11, Bob rolled an
18, no a 19 'cause he's got a + 1.
So now you were tipsy, which gained you advantage on those
Charisma saving throws. Yeah 'cause I totally need more
advantage on those Charisma rolls.
Then yeah, Franklin, you went up up.
So you were tipsy before, which was just getting you that
advantage. Now you also have disadvantage
on Dexterity based checks and. Game He wobbles.
On strength checks. Oh.
And saving throws. Yeah, Strong turtle.
And Pembleton also went up a level, getting you to that buzz
state, which is that disadvantage on dexterity but
advantage on Strength. Oh.
OK, I see what that is so. Yep.
Another thing I'm. Sorry, what?
Steve just goes back. Oh, my head down on the bar.
I think we're. Going to need to cut off the
turtle. You're going to cut the turtle
up. What?
No, cut off the turtle. He's.
Just had to turn the music. No, no.
He's had too much to drink. I feel like I got the vibes.
This was the 1st. Time.
Oh, you mean stop the. Oh, OK, OK, That's a new term
for me. War.
No. I want more.
No. It makes me feel powerful and I
felt so weak my whole life. I dare you, I've got.
To lift the table. Check with advantage.
Here it comes. Natural 20 oh.
My. God.
It comes off the ground, just the nails coming out of the
floor and and then it starts to overwhelm as you go back down.
The way he lifted the whole bar up off the crowd.
I know, Ray. It's back in between Hamilton
and Faye Can, Can you? Can you?
Like do something about that. Franklin, Franklin I.
Dare you to? Do a backflip.
If you can do a backflip, you can have another one.
OK, is it? It gets on top of the chair.
It wobbles. This is going to do it from up
here. It's going to look really cool.
Wow. That's eight definitely going to
be enough acrobatics disadvantage.
For this deck space. Right disadvantage?
Yep. Yep, that was the point. 5 See
my land on my back. My arm's waving guys.
I'm stuck. I think that's a great place for
you to take a nap. You probably feel really sleepy,
right? I feel really not in control of
vice. I feel vulnerable and I tuck my
head into my shell and disappear.
Well, that'll handle the no more alcohol for him.
The the turtle's safe and sound. We're good to go.
I'll walk. Over and pick up his shell and
put him back on the stool so nobody steps on him.
And to elaborate on your Brandy, besides the IT burning your
eyebrows off, you're certain by this second drink that it is
definitely got to be in the date family of fermented fruit.
I mean, it does. It does take some time to get
adjusted to it, and I guess everything has a harsher, smoky
taste down here. Just trying very nicely to make
any excuse for how bad the drink is.
Yeah. At that point Buildrus puts the
P CS working in back into the forge and like blowing the
billows again. I continue to ask him like, OK,
so I asked him if there was a place to buy stuff and to point
us Do we want to buy this place? I.
Don't have to. Yeah, because I was like.
Like we should just talk like gear.
Out of gear. Around the move, yeah.
Yeah, do I want connections in hell?
Because also, we just broke the mirror in, what was it?
The fifth level? Yeah, and it seems like the
whole level broke. Right.
What if we broke this place after buying a bar?
The insurance would be astronomical.
We could do insurance fraud. But what I'd say that's pretty.
Greedy. Would insurance in hell just be
opposite. You pay the insurance company.
That's. What you do here?
Double pay? Wow.
I think we could probably just gear up with all that.
That one's harder to. Remove.
Did it? Yeah.
Well, that's Poopy. I want to ask him if there's a
place that we can stay the night.
Me and my companions, I thumb over at the bar.
It was, well, there's in upstairs is a couple of rooms I
guess, but I know it's the best in town.
There's some smaller shacks and shanties, but I mean, what sort
of, what sort of rooms are you looking for?
Just a place to spend the night as we explore this lovely area,
I say with a wing, this is, there's a whole town right here,
There's a whole town down here. Oh yes, yes, just a small shanty
town. But there's a few hundred or
thousand of us that work the mines a. 100 or 1000.
Yeah, numbers onto our strong suit.
That's OK. That's OK.
I don't need exact numbers. We just want to explore and look
around, see what you all have to offer.
Are there any notable place places that we should visit in
this area? We're not too Privy to every all
the areas but the Des Moines and our little town and the temple,
but that's about it for us anyhow.
Eke out a living in between. It looks like you're eking out a
very good living, and I kind of like, glance around at the bar.
Yes, yes, the temple has been very good to me.
Working with our deity and 1:00 and all Saviour, we are able to
take some small ties from those around us and make such things
as this greedy goblin that you sign established that
establishment that it is that you stand in.
So your deity I Stephen, mentioned something about this.
Can you tell me more of your deity?
I guess that wouldn't be against the Kojis rather.
I kind of, like lean in a little close to him and I'm just kind
of, like spluttering my eyelashes.
Like, come on, let me know what is this deity.
Tell me who you worship, and I kind of like wink.
It's rather free with himself. In the matter of speaking, he's.
Excuse me, I'm in reality going back their notes here.
Oh, here we go. Is that?
Thundering. Up there.
What's that is? It thundering up there.
Yeah, it's seen some lightning and such too.
We're on tornado watch here. Woo Hoo.
Oh, fine. All right, we've got non-stop
Thunder and lightning and random downpours is so much fun.
Yeah. There's water pooling in our
driveway and it's coming in in our water closet down here.
So, so much fun. Oh lovely.
I know my drive to work is just going to be a river of a road,
so that'll be fun. I made room in the garage
earlier to put pull my car in cause heard we're supposed to
get hail. Yeah, they said.
Pretty big hail too, so. Oh, wow.
And I have, like this weird, like anxiety of every time I
park my car in the garage because I never do that.
Like, people around us are going to be like, oh, he's, he's
hiding his car. He's afraid it's going to get
repoed. I don't know why it's.
A very specific fear. Yeah.
Because my my old roommate had so many cars repoed.
I mean, I yeah, that would definitely build a fear.
Is that just what he did? He was just like, I don't want
this one anymore and just let him come take it away.
I don't know. I think he just stopped paying
and then got surprised when they came and took it.
Wait, what? I got the question.
What do I do? He goes by many names.
Mamon, Peter, Plutus, Hellsen. That is a lot of names.
Mamon Peter Tutu. Tutu.
I don't think it was Tutu. Mommy and Tutu it is now it.
Is now. Wait, can you say that again?
I'm sorry. Plutus plutus Plutus.
I'm gonna spell all of these very wrong, Mama Petard Plutus
in noosh. He stops his his billowing
exasperatedly, and then pulls out like a a piece of charcoal
off of the side, and writes them on the side of the forge.
I kind of like squeeze close to him and like, bend down and look
at what he's writing. Bluetooth.
Oh, I think I actually spelled that right.
So I'm out of room in this last sketchbook I was using for
notes. So I'm taking notes on sticky
notes right now, which is not. Not good.
Yeah, I'm getting close there myself, actually.
We've been going on three years now, so I've got like maybe 1020
pages left. Yeah.
Same I have so many unknown, definitely don't.
Always play forgetful characters because that's just who I am.
I feel called out. What's Recently he's preferring
the name of Kai Shen. Kai Shen.
I put all those in general or voting.
I guess I'm in voting all these. Yeah, I saw him pop.
Up. It works with my my own system,
that's why my notebook looks like chaos.
Yeah, going back and reading my notes is frustrating.
Yeah, I mean, it's impossible for anyone else other than me,
so. Yeah, like good luck.
Times. My own notes are too impossible
for me too. Same.
After reading what he wrote on his forge, I kind of like lean
back and I'm like, this seems like quite a great deity indeed.
And I turned to a minute. I was like, we can go offer our
own worship at your temple, you say?
Yes, yes, you you mentioned though about buying this place
perhaps I think I could put you in on the shares maybe at least
I'm majority owner, but maybe you could buy out all of my
other. Wow.
All of your other all of the other Co owners.
Right, right you are. Could you point me to where they
are and I will go pay visits to them?
Well, as being majority owner I can make all decisions and so if
you cut a cut a big enough deal with me, then I could.
They kept you in with a good enough deal to get them the fuck
out of here. Those useless bastards.
Oh, cut you a good enough deal, huh?
OK, let me let me. I'm gonna stand there and I'm
gonna look, try to look cute while I think.
And that's secretly me scrolling through my inventory on TT
Beyond. As soon as he goes back to like,
forging with the hammer, I'm going to walk.
I was just like, let me go consult my companions and I'm
going to walk over to back to the bar and see Franklin in his
just tucked away in the shell. And I'm going, I'm I guess I'm
going to stand in between you guys since you're the only two
left standing, and give Bob a good pat on the head, 'cause I
know he's just going to agree with whatever I say.
I think be like guys, so should I buy this place?
What are the pros and cons? I think it could be a form of
income and I we could get in well with the co-owner over
there, so I would be Co owning it with him.
Would that be? Try owning it.
No, I think I'm he wants me to buy out all other Co owners.
Yeah. How's that worded?
Because it's he makes it sound like there's more than one other
person that has cut on this property.
But what do you think A good price would be to own half of
this place? To be a co-owner?
Well, how much money does it make normally?
I look over at Steven. I'm like, Steven, how much money
does this place pull daily? He blushes faintly and looks
around like, oh, we should share that information with you, miss.
I kind of lean heavily over the bar and give him a little wink.
I'm like, come on, don't you want to share it with me?
Trying to be like, yeah, you should, you know, you want to
share with me? Can.
I oh, are you trying to go for my approach?
I'm pretty good at this. Yeah, you could definitely roll.
OK. And I have advantage mm HMM 28.
Oh damn. I don't think he can get higher
than that. He could really know, so he.
He's like, I don't know. Just kind of wanes in real close
to you And he goes. On an average day, it's probably
somewhere in the realm of like, I don't know, like I I pull in
from the patrons here. At least 2000 gold a day.
OK. There's not much.
Else to do do around here, you know.
Just come here and get drunk. I mean, that sounds like a good
thing. Who doesn't wanna get drunk?
Yeah, pretty much. Everybody wants to do that is
that or go to the temple. So besides working in the mines,
you hear a cheer go up. Also like people heard him say,
working in the mines. No, you hear him say, Must have
heard him saying that this place like it's better than working in
the mines or going to the temple.
Oh, and I'm just and and I kind of just give him like a little
pat on the cheek and I'm like, and you do a fine job and I come
back between. This is an aura, right?
Phelan. Phelan.
Oh, Phelan. All right, the other one.
So I'm going to lean back between Phelan and Shit
Hamilton. Now I've been like, OK, so I
think we should I'll see if I can buy this place and get us
some income, which I don't know how we're going to retrieve, but
having property in hell is probably advantageous even if we
get out of this place. Oh no wait.
I wanted to ask them what they thought a good price would be if
it makes 2000 a day and I need to make like, a secret bid.
I mean, you could also just ask the current person how much they
paid for it and then just like offer them half that.
So Bildreth said that he has final say because he owns
majority share of this place. If it takes too many logistics
to figure out purchasing, it's probably not worth.
Well, I was just wondering if I could go over to him being like
what if I give him like a surplus of some of these stones
I have in my bag and I'm like you give me equal shares in this
place to you so that we Co own it equally together so that he
doesn't have majority shares. Oh, asking someone to give up
majority. Yeah, would take a lot of coin
I'm guessing, but since I have mostly rocks, because I actually
only have like 340 gold pieces, right, 330 gold piece, gold
pieces. But I have a lot of stones.
I guess I'd just be concerned about we'd have to make sure
we're not getting price gouged, being on the level of hell known
for greed. I want to go back over and talk
to Bildreth and I want to ask him again who his Co owners are.
Like maybe I should go have a talk to them.
He goes, well, I mean, you're more than welcome to, but
they're not here this evening. I think they're in their homes.
You could probably find them going to the mines in the in the
early morning or in the bar getting the breakfast and then
he looks over at the forage, probably few hours.
Oh yeah, is there any light in this place, like when we first
landed on the ground? Or is the light only coming from
the lava? Only coming from the magma.
Other than two, they've got some chandeliers going on in the
other parts of the bar. So I ask him, and I'm just like
What if I buy out your compatriots, but we become equal
partners in owning this establishment?
I say as sweetly as possible. He stops his hammering and looks
over at you and goes, well, you could certainly do that.
I He pauses and kind of licks his teeth, looks up at the
ceiling, probably for buying out their shares.
You you could. He could probably buy him out
for 100,000 gold. 100,000. Did you approximately 500 gold a
day? 100,000 gold for 500 gold a day.
He's trying to. Swindle me.
Yeah. Can I make an Insight check to
see if he is swindling me? Sure. 26 How many days are in a
year? Again, 360.
Five 365. In.
Our world. Tara's different.
Yeah, yeah. With the 26, you can certainly
tell that you wouldn't make your investment back in.
Oh, we said 100,000 gold, 500 gold a day.
Yeah, you'd make your investment back in A.
Little under four years. Not terrible, but I don't know
if we're going to survive for four years.
Yeah, and if they said it pulls in 2000 gold a day.
And if you're a 50% owner, I mean, I guess there's operating
costs and? There are operating costs.
Yep, you got to pay your people. Yeah, I don't know if it's worth
it, but you use. The one with the money.
I kind of like, I don't know, throw my hip out at him and I'm
just like, what if we make it 800 gold a day for 100,000?
Oh, I don't know if I could do 800 gold a day, but.
Wait, did he say 500 gold a day or 500 gold a week?
He said a day, right? Yep.
OK, so yeah, I wanted to say 800 gold a day.
And just so you're. You're.
Remembering I did work out the calendar days a while back and I
approximated it to the amount of days that are that we're able to
play. So essentially a year on Taurus
is 52 days because we can play once a week and there are 52
weeks in a year. OK, OK.
So even when we're playing the good campaign, you're
technically earning 500 gold in this campaign and then when you
come back you would basically get 1000 gold.
OK, so he doesn't agree to the 800 gold a day.
He he's he's very much not in line with that.
No. He he seems to think he goes on
to say I definitely don't think I could do that.
The the the investors themselves are at at minimal going to be
bought out for that price. That I told you and I don't
know, probably that digweed over there told you what we can make
a day. But that's not not including all
of the fees that it includes to pay all these jackasses.
So I kind of like lean in to him and I go, what about 700 a day?
Would that be too much? And I kind of, like, swirl my
finger around on his shoulder. She's playing the second Mommy
did. You can roll Persuasion,
Persuasion. 33. Oh my God, another Nat 20.
That is a natural one. And he goes, and he looks
around, sees some people looking, and then he just chews
them away with his hand and he goes, leans in he goes, you can
see his gnarled looking teeth that his tongue slicks out
between with his pockmarked face and he goes for a kiss.
I could lower the price to 900. Oh sorry.
Oi, wrong math. I could lower the price down to
80,000 gold purchase value. 80,000 gold for a kiss?
No. No, 80,000, yes.
Yes, yes, yes. You understood me correctly.
80,000, it'll be the $500 a day, he leans back.
I can't do anything better than that $500.
A 500 gold a day is all we can afford here. 50.
Percent ownership. As he's like fumbling through
his words, I grin and I nod my head and I'm like, it is a deal.
Let us write up a contract right after this.
And I just, like, kind of lean in and put my hands around the
back of his neck and pull him in for a kiss.
Oh my God, and just give him a big deep kiss.
You catch him off, surprise for first, and then he you you.
You feel him lean into it after the fact, and his tongue
reaching for your tonsils after that.
I just go with it. I just go with it.
I rolled a Performance 26. Oh shit, yeah, that was a
two-story. You can tell there's there's
literal slobber dropping down the sides.
His teeth are touched. Yours at some point.
He doesn't seem to care. So.
He's just not good at this. OK, good.
That's good. That means I have advantage.
And after like a minute of this, I pull away and I'm just like,
all right, let us write up that contract.
And I just kind of like, boop him on the nose and like, walk
myself back to the bar with exaggerated hip sway.
You hear a sigh behind you and he he just shouts after no need.
And he goes over to the shelf of some of the items that he'd been
seeming to have worked up and he pulls out this, this armband
that almost looks like kind of like a oh shoot, what do you
call those bangle. And then he just holds it up.
It's a little bit wider than some of those that you've seen
probably, and he holds it up for you.
It's just an iron bangle, but it does seem to have a marked
question mark on it. And at the top.
And he says just slide this on and he lifts up.
He points up to one that's been on his bicep you had, you're
just noticing now that has a 50% on it.
And he goes as soon as you hand over the price that we agreed
on, I can slide this on and we can shake on it.
All right, so he said 80,000. So hold on.
Looking through my bag, we agreed on 80,000.
Oh, really?
I know you had the 52,000 worth of sapphires.
Yeah, I'm going to pull out. Jeez, you're so rich.
Such a fancy. Lady, I mean, you are a noble.
Yeah, I'm going to pull out 17 rubies from my bag and lay them
out, I guess, on the anvil or on the pedestal that the anvil's
sitting on and ask him, I'm like, will this cover the cost?
You said 15. Is that what I said, 15?
No, I think it'll be 16. 16 He looks at it and goes.
I'd love to say yes, especially after that kiss, but
unfortunately I don't think I could get my cohorts to sign off
on something like that. On rubies.
I think I they would have my gut spilled across this anvil this
afternoon if I did that. Oh, so they want just straight
currency gold. It's.
It's not so much the the rubies, it's just the amount.
Oh. So.
What if I pull out 20 rubies? Again, that's that's only about
20,000 worth of gold in our currency. 20,000 worth of gold.
Maybe I should have asked them about how much they desire these
stones We. Probably should have sold them
at a different level and then brought the gold here.
Yeah, maybe. So I asked him.
I'm like, how much? How much do you normally pay for
rubies like this? Rubies.
Yeah, surprisingly plentiful. So they're on the smaller side
of things, but you can can't find as many.
Amethyst and or emerald are actually very popular down here
and very minimal. Oh, I see where you're going.
OK, you know what? I wonder where I got that?
No. I was going to say if Amethysts
are the things that you're looking for, I pick up the
rubies, toss them back into my satchel, and pull out how much.
Or before I pull anything out. I'm like, how much are amethysts
worth down here? It'll be a veritable sack of
pleasures there, Amos. Just so I you see Amethyst you
have Those are anywhere from 5 to 10,000 to Poseidon on the
depending upon the size. Jesus. 5 to 10.
Yes, yes, the colour. The colours vary, but as well on
the price. So I'm going to pull out 10
amethysts and lay them across the pedestal on where his
anvil's sitting in ass. And like, how much would you
give? How much are these worth?
Again, still being nice and polite, not looking irritated
that he didn't want rubies. And he goes, I could probably
work with that. If you could maybe throw in
another couple, maybe, maybe a dozen, I could, I could really
work with that. Again, I'm digging in my sack
and I'm gonna pull out two of the bigger amethyst that I can
find and set them down. And I'm like, these are just for
you. For being so sweet.
And I give him a little wink, he.
Goes well on that note in your mind, because they came from
that chest of desire. What color are these?
Amethyst, by the way. The amethyst in my mind I would
think would be shades of purple, ranging from like maybe really
dark rich purple to light lavender lilac purple.
Especially when you bring out those last two big ones.
His eyes are probably the the, the, the size of the the
tankards that you'd been feeding Bob just before that and he just
goes. That's much appreciated.
I don't think we've exchanged names.
Oh, that's right, we haven't. I say very sultry And I was just
like, sorry you gave your name so willingly and just told me
about everybody here. My name is Ash and I'll probably
be around here for a while, so I'm sure we'll see each other
again, let's say as I hold out my arm for him to put the bangle
on it. That's very amicable of you,
Ash. You can call me Bill and this
here. And he holds out the bangle and
actually goes over to the shelf real quick, having seen all the
amethysts and staring at them still.
He kind of takes the bangle that he's holding, taps it up against
what looks like about four, maybe five more.
You see the number slowly creep up to 50 on where the question
mark stood and hold it over to you before he slides it on.
Now presents you as 50% owner of the Greek goblin, and anytime
you're in here you drink for free.
But you could definitely get a room upstairs if that's what you
were looking for before for yourselves and your companions
might be a bit tight. It's just small quarters around
here, sorry about that. But you could also find easily
associated with this and he kind of flips the bangle over for
you, kind of leaning in and grinning back up to you.
He flips it over to the other side where it reads zero
currently. At the end of the day this will
populate to a number and you can just and he goes over to the the
shelf again and pulls out what looks like a small leather pouch
and hands it to you and it says when that number had had has
started to populate. By the end of the day, like I
said it, it is long as you don't pull anything out of it, it will
continue to grow. But as I as we had agreed upon,
500 dollars, 500 gold a day will populate inside of the sack
until someone, maybe if you're unlucky, buys you out.
But I don't see that happening anytime soon.
OK. So just to clarify, if I pull
gold out of the bag, it stops producing gold.
Not indefinitely, no, no, no. The number just goes down on
your band. I just, I just wanted to
indicate to you that the band shows you how much gold is in in
there. You could actually usually do,
if you, if you will, it on this end and it's probably one of our
accountants and in one of the other buildings there that they
can make change even if you need, but that takes a little
bit extra will. I think that'll be fine.
This is lovely. Thank you.
And I just like lean in and take the little bag from him and give
him a kiss on the cheek. It is a pleasure doing business
with you, Bill. And he mimes, taking a hat off
and curtsying almost. At this point I will walk back
to my friends at the bar after sending him a little wave.
This point you walk back. I think maybe Hamilton's the
only one that's been holding his booze.
The other two who've. No, I rolled pretty good on my
second one. I've been hitting off on an even
tipsy. The other two got fucked up.
I'm buzzed. I'm not fucked up.
That's right. That's right.
Sorry. So, so you and they're at the
same level then Do we need to make one more?
I assume we got another drink while this whole thing was going
down. Yeah.
I would have gotten another drink.
Oh, Dirty 20. Damn 12.
Phelan, you are now drunk. You gained inebriated condition,
has you have disadvantage on all attack roles and ability checks.
Believe that you have advantage. Nice.
So Franklin, I believe, is still on it, in it, laying in his back
on the stool. As well, he's definitely still
passed the fuck out and inside his shell, he.
Was going to say. Is he saying anything?
Any noises? I mean, he probably definitely,
like talks in his sleep. Mostly he has nightmares.
So if you listen close to his shell, like put your ear against
it, you could probably hear him say no, no, no, don't, don't,
don't, don't lock me at the base.
No, don't lock me at the basement.
I don't like it down there. No.
Oh. No, I don't want to be.
I don't want to be vulnerable, though.
And then he screams and goes and jumps up, looks around, Phew.
Looks at you guys. Hey guys, I'm still drunk.
A keeper. Another beer.
Sorry. Franklin on the back and.
This guy needs another drink. I Pat Franklin on the back and
I'm like, I'm glad you're having a good time.
I also like stayed at my friends.
I was like you're looking at the new co-owner of the Greedy
Goblin. Oh.
We began applauding. I do a little curtsy intake, a
bow. And I'm like, yes, thank you,
thank you, Barkeep. I need another drink.
Steve. Steve finishes his product.
Oh. Oh yes, certainly the another of
the same. Yes, please.
It's delicious. Is it delicious?
Did we say if it tasted good? Like a blue Raspberry slushy.
Right, right. So it is delicious.
Yes. Comes back holding another one
and and goes well and he pulls one up from the bottom of the
bar with a sippy cup looking thing and he goes, I think I'd
overheard you guys could have, you guys are Privy to the room
upstairs so and he hands it to Franklin, he goes you could have
this to go. I do.
I turn to my friends and I'm like, yes, we also have a room
upstairs. Just one room.
Are there more than one room? This evening, there's only seems
to be the one room available. Good enough.
We'll take that room. I asked for another drink for
myself and for Bob. It's Bob.
What's Bob doing now? Bob's just been sitting at the
feet of Hamilton and with his head probably propped up.
Should I roll a Constitution for us again?
You can. Oh, a 10 for me.
Oh, Bob got an at 1:00. Too many blue punchies.
Bob proceeds to vomit all over Hamilton shoes.
Oh, not again. I called the marquee, but I'm
like, yeah, I cancelled that order for Bob.
I think Bob's good for tonight and I walk over to him and iPad
and I'm like. Sorry, Bob.
And then I asked him. Like can I?
Have some water and is there any food in this place?
What? Not so much.
It's pretty hot down here. We don't really have too much of
that. Usually we have to kind of
collect drop by, drop off the ceilings.
He points up to some dew that's collecting up there just from
the heat and the humidity. We're not real sure where it all
comes from, but we don't ask questions.
We don't want to. Know.
And I'm like, all right, yeah, give me another blue slushie for
him then because I'm. I guess that's what he's going
to have to just drink and suffer.
You could do Bob. You're good.
Yeah, there's water in it, kinda.
Imagination zone for the room, though, so you go like in it, up
a set of back stairs that leads to a single room and with a
singular bed in it. We have a pocket rocket.
Yeah, I was going to say perfect.
We just put the rock on it and then we go in a pocket rocket,
Yeah. We make sure the door is locked.
Do we just put the pocket rocket like on the pillow just to
confuse anyone that breaks in? Think we turned into a rock?
True. I mean nice form won't protect
it as well. OK, but I'm going to do
something separately when everyone goes to bed.
Yeah, me and Bob are just going to crawl into the bed together
and we're going to go to sleep. I'm going to ask for the baby.
And you and Easel come crawling up, down, up, down, yes the wall
to to to kind of start swimming and it looks like they have
learned to kind of doggy paddle across the pond over to you in
the dock. Beautiful.
And I'm like, oh, you're doing so good.
And I just pick him up and I'm just going to take him back to
bed with me and Bob, and I'm just going to nurse them.
I'm just imagining that, like, trying to sleep with a crocodile
in the bed is like sleeping with a really awkward dog.
Gaily huge dog. But yeah, is Hamilton trying to
decide how to live his life? I need to.
Oh yeah, he's now just in the pocket, Rocket.
There's just a pile of skeletons somewhere.
All these. Bands in the dog.
This place is a wild bugs on the ceiling.
Yeah. Don't touch the skeleton
monster. He's he'll eat you.
The bugs are fine. Here's where you can sleep.
There's the the laboratory bathrooms over there and bar.
This how you live. Uh huh.
Yep, this is our cozy little bunkhouse, I say, as I'm just
sitting in the bed with a crocodile in my lap and you and
I just have my top down nursing no like, modesty whatsoever.
Oh. My lady.
And I kind of just say to him, and I'm like, you know, this is
Flint's baby. You can see one head looks like
Flint. With his golden eyes prominent.
Oh no. I've I've heard.
I. I still don't I there.
There's a lot for me to take in right now.
Yes, I have a job you. You don't get used to it.
Don't worry I'm I'm still on the newer side here and it takes a
long time. What is Zeeland doing coming
back into the pocket Rocket? She.
Stumbles her way to the bed in the the far corner that she has
decided, I guess that she sleeps in and is probably just sitting
on the top of all the covers in like the fetal position, just
like staring out at everyone else like seeing what they're
doing. She's at that like stage where
she's like, so is it like secret time?
What secrets do you have to spell?
I say secret time. I don't know.
I mean, I don't know. I just thought that, like, you
guys have been here for like a little bit and like you guys
would have like some fun things to spill.
We have been here for a little bit.
Do do we have fun things to spill?
I mean, I did just like yell out the like this splints, baby and
now he's gone. I don't know who's going to
babysit. The thing.
Well, the first time I met Bob, I took pity on him and I let him
take control of my body for an hour.
And the first thing he did was chug a bottle of wine and then
have sex with Flint. Oh, wow.
Yep. And now here's Enyo and Easel
and I just kind of like hold up my 2 headed baby and I'm like
baby and I blow raspberries on their stomach.
So wait, is it 2 or is it 1? Well for the longest time I
thought I was going to have twins, but then I went into
labor under duress and a ghost helped me give birth to a 2
headed baby. A ghost that was being
manipulated by our Lord and Savior Manny Polis.
Huh. Interesting.
Guys, it sounds like you did find yourselves on the 4th level
of hell, eh? Yes, we're here.
We're having a great time, all of us pretty tipsy.
Or yes, we're all, we're all very, very under the influence.
Yeah, so am I. Hey, my piss has been pretty
good to me. Oh.
You're piss. Have you been making fermented
piss? I don't have to ferment it, it
just comes out that way. You should.
Probably have it lucky. I think we just got a new drink
for the bar. I think you should get that
checked out. Oh no, I I believe it was
another Goliath of your group that before he got eaten by
rested soul, got eaten by a bunch of giant crocodiles, also
had some of my piss, but he kind of went and turned into another
form. It's it's a weird drink for
mortals. A weird drink for morals.
I wonder why. Oh, while we're like all here,
like settling in, I tell them about the deity of this level of
hell, his many names, and how they worship him at the temple
in the local shanty town, and that maybe we should check this
out. And I ask Manny, I'm like, do
you know anything about Mamoon? Nah.
That's greedy Bastard Dill owes me.
Greedy. That sounds like a yes.
In parentheses next to mamoon Greedy bastard.
Well, Franklin, did you want to add in what you're saying before
we call it a night? Once he's confident everyone's
asleep, Franklin gets up, gets his swarm, exits the pocket
rocket, and he goes and hunts down that goblin.
Oh my God. And he just like the one that's
outside the door. He'll wait until the goblin
leaves for home, like when he finishes his shift, and then
follow him. OK.
Make him into goblin jerky. That's the plan.
He's got the taste. I've been meaning to look up.
I was trying to do it while we were doing this too, 'cause I
kind of like throw a bunch of people in until just before the
session, so I have all these maps already.
Even was like, oh shit, I forgot to put in tokens for things that
I'd had in my mind. Yeah, getting the maps ready is
a lot of work, and then remembering that they need
populated is also a lot of work. Oh yeah.
The work of Adm is never done. Nope.
But that's no big, No big. I figure we can let that
transpire just before next session, see what stats that
come up with and how that all plays out for you there.
I'm good with that as he as he leaves the bar.
And I assume whenever this creature leaves he follows eyes
completely black, clutching his book.
Try to fuck my friends, I'll fucking kill you.
Ha ha ha. Good to know.
So does his book let him take notes in it, or does the book
manifest its own notes as he learns through his experiences?
I. Think that's a double?
Yes. There.
Because The thing is definitely magical.
I mean, you've seen him use it to identify creatures and he.
And go ahead. I was just going to say and it's
been helpful in identifying some other things, but for your
player character's perspective, at least there, that's about the
extent of it I would guess. I mean, he definitely journals
in it. Like when he's actively reading
the thing to get to the time limit or the reading hours limit
required, he he's like writing notes down and he's like
reading. Like like he's writing about his
days. Like he does.
Like the book will grow in a number, like like a good 2030%
because he's just constantly today.
Ash hugged me twice. It was dice.
She's almost like a Bob. She's actively learning to be a
mom. Yep.
Maybe I'll spare her. Goodnight.
All right, yeah, I'd say we all go to bed.
I'm like, goodnight and I'm just like curl up with my baby next
to the crocodile. Does Hamilton choose a bed or
just kind of wander around the pocket?
Rock it Can you rock in a corner?
And cry I. Mean we introduced him to where
like Flint slapped and like where his like luggage and gear
and stuff is right. I would assume.
I know. Like he slept upstairs, I think.
Yeah, he had the hammock. Hammock.
If you would like to, you could be down there, up there.
Or you can stay down with us if you feel uncomfortable being
alone in a mysterious place. Yeah, I think I'd rather sleep
down here with friends. Thank God that's not already
occupied, or maybe already occupied totally up.
To you. Happy.
Welcome to the team buddy. Yeah, it's.
Unequivocally accepted. I can't wait to see everybody
else's reaction when they show up and they're like, who the
fuck is this? Where it's.
Like, yeah, I know who. Literally.
At. Least the people that are been
to eurythmic choracity will know who this is, but not why they're
here. Yeah, like, excuse me.
When? Did this exchange happen?
What? Let alone being on a new level
of hell. Yeah.
Well, good job Y'all Finally made it off the fifth level.
Yeah. I'm going to say I feel like we
got a lot done. We made it out of another level
of hell, and now we own a bar and then we're going to go
shopping because I figured out I'm a sugar Mama.
Money. Money.
And you and you're in a part of hell where everybody finds that
to be the king. You should sell all of your
amethysts and emeralds and we should mass buy rubies and
stuff. We could do that.
Think of the economics. Oh, true, the economy of that
going on to a different level where it's not as present.
Oh. Yeah, I was gonna say I do have
a lot of rocks right now. I have 39 amethysts.
I mean, it may be very soon that we get the ability to start
sharing items between groups. Yeah.
At this rate, we're already sharing people.
I mean. Yeah, just flip flopping.
Who is who is with us with for Calhoun?
Cal. Cal's first game in the tower.
It was me, him, and someone else from Ira.
Yeah, I'm actually going to walk up to like right before as I'm
showing Hamilton his Flint's bed, I'm going to put my hand on
his shoulder and say I just want you to know I have actively
working out a way to get you 2 together.
It might not be permanent, but it'll be better than anything
you've ever had. Oh, I I.
Certainly do appreciate that little buddy of.
Course we're family now. We're Fred's.
I will kill for you. I gotta go now.
So. Dark, so wholesome.
Character. Dark and wholesome.
I like that combo. It's a great combo.
It's a it's a hard line to walk when to be like vicious and when
to be like a child. I mean, aren't most children
pretty vicious? They are.
They are mortifying little beings.
I. Remember when you said that
person's a Jackass mom? No, literally.
Shut up. You can't.
Get around them and they also they just stay with on their
mind at all times. No.
Remorse. They have no understanding of
filtering or situations. They say the first thing on
their mind. It's so it's so good that they
almost should make ATV show about what kids say.
Isn't that the Rugrats I? Mean maybe.
Kinda. What were you thinking of it
only sounds like? You say the darndest thing.
The actual TV show. The actual show about it.
I haven't watched that one. I have to check it out.
That's pretty funny sounding. You also can just like, go on
the Internet. Honestly, there's so many clips
of kids saying the most unhinged shit.
Yeah, we found a Twitter account of jokes by kids.
And so made. Zero sense.
And then other ones were just ruthless and it was hilarious.
Just like there's so many clips of, like, people just staying,
like introducing themselves to kids, and they say the most
unhinged things, right? It's like, what give you the
right to make that comment? Nothing.
You have no right to make that comment, besides the fact that
you're 6 and you don't understand that it's not OK to
make that comment. That's not a snow's real norm to
me. Shut up.
Eddie usually gets angry after his first drink in the.
Franklin nods. Yep. 001 was like the teacher
asked little girl, what's your daddy do for work?
And he said he the little girl, said he helps get women
pregnant. Oh yes, I saw.
Yeah, it's a he's a fertility Dr., But she didn't know what
that was. That's amazing.
He's a stork. I'll catch you guys later.
Thanks for the game. Yeah, it was good.
It was good. Night.
Good night. Good.
Night everyone. A grand and wonderful thank you
for those who took the time and made it here to the end of the
episode where I know sometimes we are long winded and others we
are just dead silent. Don't know what to tell you.
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