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What? Damn it.
Your mother fucking Craig. Fucking Craig.
Good evening, Craig. So welcome to session two of the
legally distinct Speaker invasion.
All right, so in our last session, just as a quick
overview, a number of individuals in our D&D party
discovered that they had secret powers either on their own or
were notified as such by a government agency that
approached them, each individually with an offer no a
demand that they join their forces can work for the
government to stop evil. Some of them resisted, However,
the lure of the government cannot be stopped, at least not
yet. And while most happily went
along, there was one individual who did so after having met a
mysterious stranger who is in fact me, but a different me and
a different world, who had approached them and cajoled them
and convinced them to secretly join him in an attempt to break
free of governmental control and escape into the infinite sea,
Giving them a unique Golf Club, begging them to bring it with
them. I would have I mind blanked or
not mind blank modified their memories so that they could
enter in to the secret agent or the secret agent lab place.
Yeah, I'm doing great, undetected and unidentified.
While there, that same individual almost gave up their
Co conspirator after seeing a board with their wanted posters
for a series of righteous murders across the United
States. However, with a good role, they
convinced those there that they indeed did not know anything.
The government agency then dictated to these individuals
that they had secret powers and that the agency's goal was to
put a stop to interplanetary rifts from opening and stopping
anything that comes through. Recently their own teams have
mysteriously been dying off to freak accidents, so it seems,
and forcing the agency to force you to help them after getting a
ping at a location in I can't pronounce the town Chin chin
nagana Chicken Nakana in a town in a town about an hour.
What is it? It was just repeating what you
said because now it's chicken nakana.
Welcome to Chicka Nagana, to a town about an hour South of
Columbus where you were informed A rift or portal had been opened
between dimensions. You were sent there with a very
specific set of tasks, ones that I am going to remember right
now. The mission determined what
happened to their last agent who had recently gone missing. close
the portal to ensure that nothing else is able to enter
this world. Determine if anything has come
through and contain and eliminate any threats before the
general public finds out what's going on.
Ideally. And so the team set off in their
little minivan that was provided down South to Columbus.
They entered into what seemed to be a suspicious scene.
On one side of the road was the Ross Correctional Facility, a
high a high security maximum or maximum security prison facility
holding about 2000 residents, and on the right side the
Hopewell National Conservatory, location of a number of Native
American burial sites and a very historic site Indeed.
At this historical site, there was the distinct glow of a
portal coming out from over the trees as the group in their van
made contact with a series of prison guards who were guarding
the road, who were convinced with a with a good charisma
check to believe that the group themselves were sent by the
government, which they were to investigate the scene, choosing
to bypass the prison, hoping it's none of their business, The
group instead's beeline straight to the portal, reasoning they're
probably fine. Hearing gunfire and screaming in
the background, they approach the portal with the intent of
turning it off before anything else can get through.
As they pass by, they are informed by another guard that
there seems to be a grisly murder scene in the in the
nearby welcome center at the historic center.
Ignoring this and the guard, they beeline past them and head
straight to the portal where they stand investigating it.
The portal itself sits upon a hill.
A small mound in the center, surrounded by it is dugout with,
like with hand like precision, a number of the burial mounds, a
number of ancient bones desecrated and seen sticking out
of the ground. A successful check determined
that it was some very large creature that scooped this dirt
out versus individual bombs or explosions or such.
The group now stands in front of the portal, or everyone looking
at it as suddenly the entire world rips, shakes, tears and
bends. AS2 individuals Brianna and
Barrett suddenly go and then vanish from existence, and in
the corner you see Earth 7. And that's where we begin.
Wait, we see in the corner Earth 7, like the corner of the spot
where they were standing. In the corner of like the.
I guess for your guys's information, you guys wouldn't
know this is Earth Seven. Yeah, from like the.
Am I supposed to know? What that word is.
Earth 7 Earth is where we live. Are you sure?
I'm pretty sure. Seven.
Like is it like a label? Yeah, so at the start of the
first game, I had introduced planet Earth, and every time
there was a Eurythmic veracity, another version of Earth,
another timeline was created. And so this essentially would be
another rift and break. OK, so this is it.
Is it? So is is it like engraved
somewhere? Is it like a label maker that
was stuck on? Is it like a hologram?
Like what exactly like we see Earth 7?
Like, like what does that look like?
Let's see. So the way they disappear is
very pixelated. Actually, go ahead and roll me a
investigation. Perception or Arcana.
Have you ever heard of the simulation theory?
I'm. Going to Perception or Arcana, I
can pick which one. Yep.
OK, I'm going to roll Arcana somewhat Wizard Harry.
You're a wizard. 13 With a 13, you get a sense that this is a
school of magic that you've never really experienced before.
The only thing you've got to reference is the kind of the
aura that the reality mushrooms kind of gave off The when they
disappeared they did kind of like pixelate a kind of like
turning into tiny little like blue squares and then vanishing
off into the void and the the So for your the, the Earth seven,
you guys as characters would not see that.
It's like a like overview, kind of, I don't know background meta
information, but you would have experienced the tear and shift
in reality. Oh, OK.
I'm I'm picturing I don't know if this is correct but from just
like for everyone else to understand like it's it's it's
like a thematic device for us to understand as people in on this
earth call it earth one for that for for the matter of debate but
that we're just viewing that from.
I know, OK. But my character doesn't know,
right? Right.
OK. You don't realize you're in the
seventh version of yourself now? OK.
But it's either Brianna or
Barrett come back in another thing, they might realize it and
start having an existential crisis.
That's fine. Like, Oh my God.
I'm not actually me. Anyway.
Or they're the most me of me. They're actually currently
waking up right now in a room in a pod.
Covered in goo? Like, what the fuck?
Yeah. Pull pulling tubes out of their
throat and pulling my other arms.
Somebody welcome to Earth One. If I remember practically we
contacted Sammy J right and he said to close his portal.
It was, wasn't it on the other side or something that had to be
closed. Yeah, I still have him up on.
Oh yeah, he said. Something on the other side was
holding the portal open, and I remember thinking I was like I
kind of wanted to toss something through like an inanimate object
through the portal just to see what would happen.
Sure. I'm.
I I have Sammy J on the on that little device too currently.
And I was videoing him in and he was surprised at how big it was,
that like Game Boy looking thing, 'cause I just pressed
like the start button, figured out the video and he's like,
damn, that's big. And I did.
Was about to ask him as I was pulling out of my pack, some of
the cups from the jello shots that I saved, because I would do
that, just carry with jello shots.
In your bag. And just throw it into the
portal while I'm talking and and see if anything happens while
Sammy's still facing it and and say you said something too about
a power source on the other side that we'd have to to to
potentially, yeah, disable for it to close this portal.
But if we close it from the inside, wouldn't that, you know,
stop us from coming back to this side?
And he looks at you and he says that seems like a big problem,
doesn't it? A little little bit as you throw
the little cup through, what's your Does anyone have a pass at
perception over 12? I I I do.
Perception. Yeah, I have 13.
So those were the past perception over 12 would see
that as the as the actual like plane of the portal is
momentarily disturbed by the cup, it becomes almost
transparent, almost like a like a fiery window and you guys see
for just a split second a room beyond.
Shit. And in that room, in the center
of the room, you can see what appears to be some sort of
machine emanating off, kind of like waves of power directed at
the portal from the other side. Can I tell how far that machine
is from the portal? Like you know, transition?
Is it like 100 feet into this room or is it close by?
You can You can roll a investigation check at
disadvantage because it's this is only a split second when the
when the cup goes through. OK, disadvantages just roll
twice. Let me just do.
Yeah, OK. Yep. 6:00 nice.
You're not sure? I mean definitely it's it's not
super far away. It didn't seem because like even
with a six, you would kind of get a flash out of the room.
The room itself kind of looked like it was maybe 30 or 40 feet
by 50 or 60 feet in total. While you guys are all looking
pensively at the portal, I go, what'd you see?
I I didn't see anything. I was looking at Sammy J.
I agree, the portal didn't change at all.
The thing just disappeared. I was like, could I describe it
to them? Sure, Yeah, this.
Is what I saw, and I repeat the information that you gave us.
Can you like describe to me where that thing was in the room
and maybe position me so that I can hit it with something harder
and more direct at that thing that you're talking about maybe
that would close it from this side?
What could we hit it with? Pull out my crossbow.
Oh. OK.
Yeah, let's go. So
can you describe that again? Because I was writing things
down. Sure.
So you guys would have seen about a I'm looking 12345 SA
roughly rectangular looking room on the other side, longer than
it is wide From your perspective when the portal when you threw
the cup through the machine itself centered on the portal
giving off rays of power, you're unsure exactly how far back, but
the room itself is, you know, no more than 100 feet deep.
So it so it seems. So I give that description and
I'm like the the the thing powering it seems to be like
centered, but that's all I know is that it seems centered.
I don't know how you should hit it or if you can hit it, but I
think you could try. OK.
You can certainly try. OK.
We distinctly while while she was talking I was I did have one
quick question for you before I explain this other thing here
which is it's it's more it's more technical but how much of
our powers are accessible currently is that at this point
all of them. OK because I was I was going to
say the reality mushrooms was a bit of a question mark for me in
my mind because I was like do we that was that was kind of how
you got your full your full power is basically you like had
the inkling before maybe had like some access to some you
know can't some stuff but now you're a full powered level 8.
So I I know all of the things that I would, because I think
after that too, my mind would have been racing with a bunch of
ideas of thoughts of things that I can do.
But now being in the situation, I'll start doing some of the
things that I realize I need to do because it's necessary.
And while Jesse was talking, engrave on the on the bow, the
crossbow and the and or the bolt, whichever it takes to do
my arcane infusion or my artifice, infuser fusion for
repeating shot. Not it.
Yeah, that would be on the, I think on the weapon itself,
yeah, yeah, it's only a weapon itself.
It it seems that it, it attaches to it, basically.
Sure. So while you guys are debating
about what you see through the portal, Josh, having not seen
anything, sits on the ground, pulls out his crossbow and
begins, you know, filleting and in laying it with the with the
arcane symbols and runes. And then I line up a shot.
Does this look about right as I'm pointing it at a fiery
portal that I can't see through? I'm going to walk over and kind
of like stand behind his shoulder and try to like guess
or see where he's pointing and I'll be like, yeah, I think
that's really close. I think you're going.
To get it all right, roll at disadvantage at disadvantage.
That's can't see it. I don't get any help from my my
lovely assistant. Yeah, I'm totally pointing him
in the right direction. Sure.
In the general direction. Sure.
And it's not like it's moving. So you shoot your cross though,
and it shoots, And once again, when the bolt passes through and
the surface of the portal is disturbed for the split second
that it's there the the crossbow is or the the room beyond is
once again visible. If anyone else wants to try to
see those who are already succeeded, you don't have to
roll, but you see it go through and right before the portal kind
of like obfuscates again, you see a a flash of like blue and
then like a wolf, like a little Blake shield.
Dang. Think they're that dumb, son?
You know, one can hope it's worth trying.
Yeah, it's like the door that's could be unlocked, right?
It's fair. You.
Never know how you know. You put a you put a puzzle next
to the door and just leave it unlocked.
Yep. Could I roll?
An Arcana check on that, on that thing, now that I've seen it,
that's on your slide. Come on, big money.
Not. That dirty 20/30/20.
So The Dirty 20, you can kind of see in that split second because
you were focusing directly on where you thought it was going
to go. You see it went through and it
didn't like strike where it was supposed to.
You see the flash of what is obviously some sort of a
abdurational like shield. The machine itself you can see
kind of is radiating A transmutation type of energy,
but also seems to be made out of some dark black like almost
black shiny steel. It has a object to or has an
object kind of tailored to the front of it that is expelling
the the actual power out towards the towards the portal.
What else would you like to know about it?
From the distance in the split second that you have to see it?
Are there any similar runes to what I've inscribed on?
Or you know my mind has been opened to the to magic.
Is there anything similar? I know you'd said Abduration
there would be runes, a circle of blue runes that lit up
directly before, like that kind of shield Dome like emanated
into place around the portal itself.
Generation, I'm scrolling down OK, so yes, there seems to be
some sort of protection magic on on the thing.
I would make sure that anyone that didn't realize that.
No, I know we. Had a couple Wizards.
Are we just down to one or two? I look back.
Where'd the Wizards be? I got a staff.
I got AI, got a dagger. Is it a magic dagger?
Unfortunately it's not a magic dagger, at least I don't know if
it is yet. As fun as it would be.
A stagger with a portal. With a rope around your waist to
see if he could stab it. I would hate for that to close
on you. Yeah.
I don't think I I Nope. But so from what you said about
the magic shield or whatever, feels like we need something
bigger. Like what's what do we we have a
wizard here. What do you feel about a mage
Hand? Yeah, I'm a wizard.
I got a catapult. I also have.
That's not what I meant to do. Similar things is it?
That's the one I meant to do. And
I'm wondering if there's a way we can get some more time with
the like the portal being like transparent so we can see it.
So you're not like, oh wait, you know.
But I was thinking, dude, do we need to get a stick?
Yeah, that's let's. I want to look around on the
ground for a stick. I was about to go big.
I was about to go steal one of these cars in the parking lot.
You don't really see there's a number of bones sticking out of
the holes though I'm already here, but if you want to search
for a stick specifically you can search for why don't Justin, why
don't you go get a car that might be a good option here and
it just grabbing while into the bones and putting it in the
portal. Everything.
Heads its use all. Right, I want to.
Wait a second, I can use this meteor.
One gives me 6 meteors and they streak towards a point I choose
within 120 feet of me. OK.
You don't have to it. Explodes once it hits the
surface. Well, I mean I was doing around
that much damage though of with my crossbow bolt and it seems to
be protected. I think Justin might be
something onto something though with one of those cars, if we
can get it over the curb and over into the field here, just
run it through the portal full speed.
Jump out while it's going to go, yeah.
Fuck yeah, I need to search a car image.
Yeah, let's do that. I support this.
I have. We might need one of those bones
to hold the gas pedal. Down I'm going to try to find
like a a a a Little Rock on the ground and shove into the gas
pedal. Then you know.
Oh, which car are you using? Yours.
No, not the this one I want. I want to break into a car in
the parking lot. All right, let's go break into a
car, dude. You don't just get to break into
a car and. I know I I want to attempt to
break into a car. Let's.
Go Mr. Rogue, which car do you want to break into?
Where's? The map this.
Car is in the parking lot, right?
Yeah, it this one that looks like a bigger van than the rest.
Not the mystery Mystery Machine, but but the one on the top of
right now. Got it.
All right. You, you approached this, this
vehicle, I don't know cars at all.
It's a van. It looks like a sprinter van.
Looks like somebody has been living in this thing.
It's got a generator on the back, some storage, solar powers
on the roof and you approached the door and what do you do?
First, try to just jiggle the handle, see if it's already
unlocked. It is not.
OK, like to try to take my thieves tools and I kind of.
Like break. Ends of.
Panic hardware. Go ahead.
Take the thieves turns and try to like Jimmy the Jimmy the lock
open or I don't know, yeah, I guess that's the best choice
around. I don't have like a hanger to
kind of get down through the window.
Sure. Then roll me your sleight of
hand, all right with your thieves tools.
That's what you're trying, right?
Yeah. All right, I got distracted
trying to see if Sprinter vans have a alarm system.
You can always choose to have one installed.
God damn. All right.
Sprinter head vans have alarm systems.
I mean, there's always aftermarket.
That's what Jesse was saying. That's true.
You you attempt to break in and somewhere in the back in the
background top this custom Sprinter van with that has been
turned into a living home, has a little sticker rate in your
eyesight that says protected by Valiant or from bullshit company
legally distinct and the the car begins blaring Beep, beep, beep.
You guys hear this from where you guys are right now.
As does the guard who's standing there, who's kind of walks
around the corner, looks at you, say your van, say your van.
Yeah. It's.
You're. Not even.
Here. Oh, sorry, it's a it's it's
being procured by the the government agency to deal with
this portal right now, Sir. Thank you.
Kind of looks at you. He opens up his button shirt and
it's he's wearing a don't tread on me shirt.
And he says This is why we we declared independence from
Britain. Because the government hey you.
Want me to close that portal or not?
Man portal or not? Yes, and he unhappily walks away
and shakes his head. His government.
God. All right, so I think Matthews
did. I didn't didn't just jiggy the
lock open. You broke it.
Yeah, I broke the thief's tolls. Oh, don't worry, they're gone.
I'm going to look around, try to find a rock or something to like
break the window. There's rocks, all right.
I'm going to grab a rock, one that's big enough to put on the
gas pedal as well. I'm going to throw it through
the driver window. All right.
Give me a strength check. DC-14, because they probably
have really thickened windows being an aftermarket.
You look around and there's what?
Nothing, go ahead. I'm sorry, I.
Don't know. Make your roll.
I'm I I pick it up. I look at my look at it.
I'm like, if this bounces off this fucking window, I'm going
home. Fuck this.
There. You go, you pick up A.
Rock. And you say that to yourself and
you Chuck it out the window, and it does break the window.
And you the glass falls in safety glass, so you're safe to
sit on it as you unlock the door.
Pop the door open. The alarm finally turns off.
The car is open to you if turned off.
OK, I'd like to attempt to. Hot wire it.
All right. Have you ever hot wired a car?
No. You would know because Rogue.
Yeah. I have a background I guess.
Yep. So go ahead.
And what would that be? Hot wiring a car, either a
wisdom or an intelligence of some sort, potentially because
at least in my mind, it's something that you know, like
you've been taught one way or the other, and wisdom would be,
if you'd like, learned it on the street and intelligence, as if
you watched it from a YouTube video.
That's true, trying to pull up the skills.
There we go. So let's do let's do a survival.
Oh, that's a good one too. Let's do Survival DC-12.
OK, apparently I forgot how to hot wire a car.
So you you pull out the wires from this thing and you cut
them, and then you start looking at it and then realize you cut
them into a point where you can't hot wire this car.
You broke it. You look around, there are other
vehicles. I I, I walk this alarm still
going off. I kind of like stumbled back to
everybody and I'm like, should I just keep trying or what should
I do here? Because that did not work.
Wait, is the alarm still going off?
Because if he's if he's like. Got all the?
Wires. I mean, no, it went off once you
broke in and like unlock the door, but once you cut the
wires, you realize there's no there was, there was, there's no
fixing that. I'm going to say keep trying for
the car and I'm just going to walk over to the cars and I'm
going to just test the handle on every car to see if any of them
are unlocked. While Jesse's doing that and
it's like, don't worry, Buddy and I walk over to the car and I
hold on to the wires and I cast cast mending.
They mend. I can display it for you too.
But it's it's an AT will can't trip.
Awesome. Yes, there's absolutely a car
that is unlocked. It's this truck.
All right, I, I, I sit down in it and I start going through
like the sun visor and the glove compartment.
I'm I'm looking for keys like anywhere that you might hide
keys in the vehicle. Make me an investigation check.
Justin, is there anything you want to do with a newly repaired
sprinter van that I can pop? Pretty nice on the inside?
Has a nice duvet. It's got like a little like mini
shower and 9:00. Now I I look over at her and she
just pops the door up and sits in the car and I just look down
like shake my head. With a nine however, you will
not find keys, but you open the door.
Because maybe maybe we should start from the the other side of
this thing. Maybe especially remove that
fuse for the alarm. Yeah.
Yeah, the I'll pop now that we got the we got the wires mended
and we pop the hood. If you hadn't already do it,
Josh. Mm hmm.
Are you over here with me or are you still over there?
I'm, I'm. I'm still over.
I didn't move my character. Not bad.
OK, got. You.
Now he knows. He knows.
What it's like? I pop the hood open, I kind of
like look for the fuse box, pop the hood off of that once I find
it, and then I'd like to see if I can remember which one is for
car alarms or not. I can't really remember.
You would be able to. You can make a history check.
Josh would know offhand simply because of his background as
well. Oh OK, if you want to make a
check. Where I am or not?
I believe in you 21 natural 20. You know instantly, you know
where the fuse is and you know how to remove that fuse.
You do so. I'm going to remove the fuse.
You do so and it works perfectly all.
Right. I give a big sigh of relief and
just say like that was louder than the gunfire.
You still hear gunfire in the background.
Oh God, help. Help.
We'll get to that. Do you want to do?
You want to try again? I don't know.
I feel like I I completely butchered it.
And you want to. You want to try by chance.
You can also do it together or give one A1 or the other
advantage. OK, I'll try it again then.
You want to help me out, Josh? That'd be great.
Yeah. What do you want us to roll?
Was that Survival again or survival?
I guess I'll run on the survival.
Second time's the charm, they say, right?
Hopefully I'm just encouraging. You.
You got this. While they're doing that, do I
find anything of significance in the truck?
Do I find like the car manual or anything?
Roll me another investigation, Josh.
Are you rolling? Did you roll for him or is
Justin rolling twice? That was that was both of our
roles currently. Five guys.
You guys, you got to get in the. Car.
Yeah, so I would that was just my encouragement.
Maybe that just go ahead and roll one more for your for your
advantage. Swear to God.
Oh. Jesus.
Fuck. You guys look at your van.
You have the keys like wait, wait, wait, I got it.
I'm like I'm I'm standing there and I just I mend the wires
again for the second or third time and I go maybe I could just
like and I hold my hand to the to the ignition or I put my hand
on the steering wheel and use the I I wave my other hand and
you see a cat dance across my shoulders and try to turn the
key as if a key mage hand key. OK, give me an Arcana check with
advantage then. OK.
You could do it. I believe in you, buddy.
Come on. Love of God Bless 5 All you need
no one more. Come on 18.
Yes doesn't work the first time. Demi doesn't quite understand
what you're after. She tries to like bat at it, but
then you kind of re explain and her hand turns into a key for a
sprinter van somehow and it goes in and she turns it and the door
or not the door, the engine starts and it's on and you did
it. You finally started a car.
Congratulations, Group. Oh man, I thought.
We're going to spend the whole night doing that.
Just trying to get a car to start.
All right. Cute.
Olivia, what are you doing over there?
What are you doing over there? Yeah, what are you doing over
there? Yeah, just.
Watching I am sitting here watching.
I'm just waiting because I think, I think driving a car
into the into the portal is not going to work and so I just
didn't even move. I watched you guys walk over
there. So you're standing there with
your arms crossed, shaking your head.
Yeah, I'm not. I'm just like, amused.
I'm just like, OK, let's see, Let's see how this pans out.
Wish I like. Wish I had some popcorn.
Like. Oh, why don't?
You drive the car up to the portal and then get it set for
us. Nope.
Wait, I think I have a better idea than driving it, just
driving it in there. I'm gonna try.
We'll drive it up there. Let's just let's try to like,
position it sideways on the portal so it's like halfway in
and halfway out. Yeah.
But like the window, like the back doors are open or something
like that, so we can kind of maybe get like a better visual
of whatever's going on in there. You know what I mean?
Kind of hold it open for us. It's not.
Too wet. I like where this is going.
You know, so I proceed to open both of the OR both of the back
doors just wide open, roll the windows down just in case two.
And then I want to drive, drive the van kind of like here and
then kind of like make a left and kind of like halfway out of
the car So I don't touch that portal, kind of like creep it on
idle, like right up there. And then kind of half of the car
into the portal, half of it the driver side out of the portal.
You know what I mean? Hell yeah, that's a big ass van.
Beep. Beep motherfuckers.
Open up this portal. Fun man.
Yeah, something like that. I mean, it's bigger but.
I see that they get the van moving and I'm gonna like, hop
out of the truck and close the door, just walk over.
I can't move myself again, by the way.
Oh no. Can you select yourself?
Nope. Can I ping?
Yes, I can. I'm coming.
Hold on. Let me copy you guys from the
front page. Copy.
Come on, big papi. Oh.
There's a bunch of. How about that?
Can you do that? Yep.
I forget why, but I I do remember saying I had 53 though.
Nope. I'm an inanimate object.
You had 53 health not full. But wasn't it full health for
some reason? Says I controlled by.
Ah, there it is. Yep.
Jessie, save. Try now.
All right. Yeah.
Right. So you guys take your newly
acquired Sprinter van, drive it past the murder scene and up to
the portal. Are you physically driving it
through the portal because you guys want to do halfway in or
are you backing up to it? I can't.
I was kind of trying to. I guess that might be a better
idea, but I was kind of. I wanted to like kind of, you
know, you put the car in drive and it's got an idle.
I kind of want to like put it in drive once I get close.
Once I get close at the brakes, I kind of stop it and I want to
position it so the driver's side and the rear left passenger or
outside the portal and then the other, the right half of the
vehicle is inside so we can kind of like see through the car
sideways through the portal. Got it.
Well, how? Wait, if you put it in drive and
it's sideways, how does it go sideways?
How does it? Well, like I let's turn the
steering wheel with it and then kind of like creep it into
position as it starts to go through the portal.
Got it. You're doing the turn and as it
as it's arcing in its turn, you're getting out and then.
Yeah, well, I'm going to, I'm going to try to position it, put
it in park like right there next to the board.
I know I'm getting close, but essentially yeah, but like maybe
the other way because the driver side will be on the outside.
Sure, that's smart. There.
We go, OK. Yeah, you'll you'll definitely
be able to, with enough like precision and like people in
front and back doing the like this much farther, that much
farther to the right. You'll definitely be able to do
this as you. It's like parking in a parallel
as you bring it in and it interrupts the plane of the
portal. The whole whole portal once
again becomes transparent like you thought and the the sprinter
van itself is basically 1/2 in half out.
You can see through the passenger window.
However, the back of the Sprinter van is solid, so you
can see through the through the passenger window OK.
Cool. Let me show you what it looks
like. It looks like there you are, not
you, but you know, so you can see.
Oh really? Darkness consumes me.
I bet it's. The.
I bet it's the fog of war save. Hey, there we go.
There it is. All right, let me go.
I got to go get the van. One second.
Oh, they're. Complicated.
That looks like a Gatling gun. And you looked up D and DD and D
items, so. Oh.
Probably does look like a Gatling gun down there.
It's a hodgepodge of stuff. I'm sorry.
That's fine. That's how it works as a
hodgepodge all. Right.
I need this to somehow turn there, go to GM so that I can
select you. Turn turn turn, yes, turn turn.
That's. What I was saying as we're
positioning. It all right.
So this is the room that you see just going to move you guys
characters off to the side somehow.
There we go. That works.
So as I said, the room itself, as you are looking through the
little window, the pasture window of this van, the room is
about 80 feet by 100 feet. So it seems you can see the the
object itself that is kind of shooting out these kind of like
force power waves towards the portal seeming to generate it.
There are columns, six of them in a row, and then towards the
back a series of workstations, crates and a large jail cell
that seems to have a a slumped over body in it, body humanoid
body. Yes.
Looks humanoid. I mean from what you.
Can. See generally.
But it is kind of like crumpled over and in a like pile and does
anyone recognize it I would say. Do we need to roll?
Yeah, Should we? Roll sure.
Roll in A roll in A roll? AI guess.
A history check? Do.
You remember? Do you remember?
Are certain we don't remember one or the two?
You are certain you don't remember who this is?
They do not look familiar. They are dressed, however, in
strange clothing, almost medieval in style At this point,
seeing the van is not sliced in half or anything.
In the Is the jello cup still on the floor over there now that we
can see through the portal too? Yes, it is.
I walk through and just grab the jello cup.
You walk through and you grab the jello cup.
Yeah. And just go, Well, that was a
whole lot of for no reason. Oh well, now just take me, make
me an arcana check. Oh, OK, Nine.
You don't notice anything? OK, well, what you do notice,
what you do notice is as you walk through, it's almost like
stepping into a humid room. But humidity isn't what you
would call it what you would instead call it as.
Almost like a energy, like a the feeling of potential.
Almost like opium in the air as your magical senses are
supercharged. As you now, for the first time
experience a place that isn't starving for magic.
There's an ambient magic in the air.
With my stiffy. I walk backwards through the
portal, see if it's, if, if, if, if.
It's just the area. You know what I mean Like that
I'm in like this is and then I if nothing happens I just got go
guys. It's it's real nice over there
the the the air but it's it's like breathing Jesus and I just
walk back through. As you step back outside, it
really does feel like you start going on like a not a withdrawal
like you. You start getting a withdrawal
like symptoms, especially somebody who is arcane in
nature. As soon as you step through the
portal, it was like you were suddenly in 100° zero humidity
area and you've been there for hours without any water.
I I turn to Josh as he comes back through the portal.
I'm like feeling huge boner. A huge boner.
It's like very evident. I just.
I just absolutely ignore it. It's just you know I to I I'm
like you good. Like what happened?
It's it's real nice over there. I don't.
I can tell.
Yep. It's like, it's like, you know,
this magic that we just had, we just got, it's been turned up to
like 2000 over there. Oh, that's dangerous.
Maybe we should just go. Maybe Earth sucks.
Maybe it's time to go somewhere else.
Just leave here and party harder somewhere else.
Just that reminds you, you get the same memory you had unlocked
previously at that mention. As much as I have things going
for me here, I think you might be on to something.
I do. I do remember the conversation
that I had. I do.
I think we should go through this portal guys.
And after saying that I just go through.
You walk through and you experience a very similar
sensation. Are you arcane and you weren't
arcane class? Why can't I click on anything?
That's, you know, that's that's arcane.
You have magic. So give me the same arcana track
as you walk through. Actually, no.
You wouldn't actually, no. So you would get the same kind
of information as Josh as you walk through.
It is like walking into a very comfortable humid environment.
But as I said, the humidity is an energy, a potential, almost
like a caffeine rush. Very, very similar to opioids of
an effect. Like for someone who is as magic
starved as you, walking into this feels like taking a hit of
something or that first drink of water after a very long day.
Damn. And I kind of like look down at
myself and look around and I'm just kind of like pondering.
I I look at those two like through the portal and they look
like on top of the world. Happy, giddy, and I'm like,
fuck. And I just walk through the
portal myself. She also or you walk through the
portal as a rogue. Do you have any arcane talent?
I do not believe so. I mean.
You walk through and I won't have you make the check, but you
still have the same effect. I'm also going to walk through
the portal, especially after watching all these.
People instantly get a heart out, grow penis and get a heart
on. That's how magic you are.
Like it. Have you seen my spiritual
weapon? Yes.
All right, so we're all in here. Now it only lasts a minute.
Yeah, you've all entered through the portal and stand in this
room. As I have said, you see a large
cage in this corner with a man slumped on the ground.
You see a workstation over here, a large crate and box, the
portal machine itself with the runes around the bottom that are
glowing and another a disk shaped object next to it with
patterns on it. Is that like on the floor or is
that like raised like a table or something?
It is on. So it is kind of.
It is. It's like maybe like a six inch,
6 inches up, like a tablet type of thing immediately walks on
it. You die.
No, it's exactly my first result.
No, I was just fucking around. Yeah.
Oh, as you look around the room, so has.
Anybody walked. Sorry, one thing.
As you kind of walk through and you take in these immediate
things, but then you also take in that the walls of this place,
when not seemingly covered in sheets and notes and like, you
know, the the conspiracy theorist type board with like
strings and connections and like stuff like that.
The walls themselves seem to be of a strange greenish kind of
hue that you've never seen before.
Does Olivia need to make that Arcana check by the way?
Too? Yes.
Yeah, awesome. A bit tech magic, but yeah,
catch I'll do. You get the same feeling but
looks like you grow a penis. You grow a penis.
So you cast Detect Magic on yourself and let me see 10 then
30 feet of you. Let me give you a little 30 foot
bubble. What color do you want your
magic? Purple.
OK, purple. So immediately you get AB
duration from this machine, specifically from the runes on
the ground. The portal itself gives off
transmutation vibes and one second I need to see what type
of magic item this is. Doesn't say.
And you also get a new type that sounds like feels like astral
magic where also coming from this machine.
And as you kind of take a closer look at the machine itself, you
see it's built with a weird kind of like shiny black sort of
steel or metal, and it's kind of wired together with what almost
seems like living tissue tendons.
It's almost like a living machine of sorts.
However, you do spot a similar an an item you would recognize
instantly and then also give me a history check as well to as
you see two items. One an iPhone that is hooked up
centered in this machine. It is turned on Google Maps Open
and Columbus, OH and it will and open to Google Maps on the
iPhone. To your history.
You don't really recognize the other object.
It is a cylindrical rock with two kind of brass bands going
around it with kind of a kind of like almost like a button or
like a a focus point on one side of it and the.
Yeah, yeah. OK, well I'm going to look up
and address the party and be like, hey guys, there's an
iPhone that looks like controlling this.
The the where the portal's coming from or what's generating
the portal. Someone else is going to have to
fuck with that because me and Apple products don't get along.
I want to walk over and invest. All I'm going to do is break it
in a way that's not productive. So anybody who has experience
with iPhones, the maybe we want to It's weird that it's an
iPhone and it's using Google Maps.
I don't know what a. IPhone uses How do you?
Even use Google Maps on an. IPhone What does it use?
They're lone proprietary like Apple Maps.
Most of yeah, it is. It is something like that.
But but most of them actually do end up downloading Google Maps
because that version of it sucks.
Yeah, I don't. It really depends.
Yeah, because iPhone has its like own.
Yeah, no, it depends on what Jillian uses.
Good question. That I didn't even know if she
had a Does she have it? She has an iPhone.
Good to know wasn't paying attention.
Yeah, so. Anyway, so yeah, I'm going to
yeah, I'm definitely going to be like, so I think like the the
map shows Ohio like where we are.
If someone wants to go fuck with it, we might be able.
To I want to fuck with it. So yeah, I said.
I'm not crossing that rune circle, I.
Choose you Pikachu. I'd be wearing, I'd you don't.
Have to. I've seen the movies.
Besides looking at at the rune circle to determine are they
like engraved? Is it like magical script that's
kind of like floating over the stone?
Is it like what am I worth? It's like a white paint, painted
runes and then a ghostly kind of magical version of it hovers
maybe 6 inches in the air around around this object.
White paint. I just I just the yeah, I just
rub some of it out. You move to rub some of it out,
but your hand or foot hits a solid invisible barrier right at
the edge and as you touch it, it kind of, and then the force
barrier kind of ripples up and over in a 10 foot Dome.
So I'm going to cast Mage Hand and try to use the Mage Hand to
approach the iPhone. The mage hand also stops at the
edge of the invisible Dome wool. Bold.
Oh fuck.
I'm going to dismiss it, I guess.
It vanishes waves. Goodbye.
While this happened tonight, I have nothing arcane arcana.
Let me go check out this, the table with the stuff on it.
How? Much would you hate me if I have
identify as a spell? I actually that's the only
spell. Wouldn't I hate you?
That's a spell that you took? OK, 'cause I was gonna say
that's the only spell that I have any, like, qualms with.
And it's just because usually I come up with stuff on the fly
and I don't know what the fuck it is until after I think about
it way later. Well, yeah, Then I'm just gonna
sit here. I'm gonna take some of the
residual goo of the jello shots and start drawing my own rituals
on the ground and try to identify what this is that I'm
working with. OK, I'll play it here in a SEC.
Just one moment. Sure.
While you do that, Justin, you approach this desk.
It has an odd assortment of objects on it, a lot of old
leather making tools, old tools that you would have thought had
gone extinct many years ago, but then on it as well.
Modern kind of screwdriver sets and what appears to be like
metal, like little steel pieces and knickknacks.
Laying around. On the right hand side you see a
little stand that holds a spherical ball.
Metal with leather inlay could. I try to see if I can determine
like what these tools are used to make like on the table.
Sure. Go ahead and roll me a
investigation check. Do you have any blacksmithing
tools or any other other artisan tool experience besides thieves?
Do not. Go ahead and roll all.
Right. Investigation you said correct?
Yep. All right, so the 16
investigation. The tools on the table seem to
be fine tinkering tools. Mechanics are kind of like, not
mechanics. What do you call those?
Like almost like clockmaker like watchmaker tools for intricate
work. You all also noticed that there
seems to be like a soldering set and other modern tools as well.
Looking at the wall that you've seen and the immediate kind of
sheets of paper that are plastered kind of everywhere,
the sheets themselves have what appear to be.
You wouldn't understand what they are about arcane diagrams.
But also next to them, long long form math pulling specific
calculations together and you get the idea that with a 16, the
instrument built on this table is some sort of there were two
of at least two of them, one large, one small.
Looking over you kind of suspect it is likely one of the objects,
the object that sits here on the corner, they.
I can't give you too much specifics, but it is.
It's a mechanical device, like a computer device of some sort.
But obviously looking at the paperwork and the tools, you can
kind of figure that the object here on the right is what
effectively got made at least one of them.
Gotcha. So I see like the Arcana like
script writing on these, these sheets and everything.
And I turn and yell at the rest of the party and I'm like, hey,
can any of you guys read this? So Olivia, as you have kind of
moved past 'cause I saw you kind of went like this way, right?
You like moved? Yeah, I was.
Yeah, you would have passed by. Yeah, around.
And let's see, check. What sort of magic school would
this be? No, I don't want magic schools
in Harry Potter, MA. You get the sense that you get
the sense of evocation magic coming from coming from this
device, as well as a soft glow of magic coming from a lot of
the pages on the wall. Also you as you pass into kind
of this general area, you would get trans or divination magic as
well somewhere around this area. Jesus, someone's working hard in
here. Take a vacation, bro.
Yeah, Good to know. All right.
Divination Josh. Wait, we did Olivia, then Josh,
then Justin. So, Olivia, you have approached
this prison cage. Wait, we're missing someone.
Jess, what are you doing? Yeah.
I can't move again. No.
I I wanted to mess with the iPhone that.
Olivia had found the iPhone, as you recalled, had individuals
that. I can't even move.
Tried to touch it but they hit like an invisible barrier
because the iPhone is like in the machine.
Oh, OK. I'm grabbing you from the other
sheet. I don't know why you keep this
not doing not being able to control.
It's being uncooperative. Typically.
How about that? Can you move that one?
I can. Great, sorry this keeps
happening. I'll try to figure this out
that. Is OK.
All right, so they have all kind of started doing this.
You see Josh writing on the ground in Jello, casting a
spell. I see him writing on the ground
in Jello and I'm like, would you like an actual pen?
I like, I like take one of the ones that I've currently
cleaning out and stop to to actually, like, lick my finger
and look up at you and go. Oh, that's pretty good.
All right, well, if you run out of jello, I have pens and I'm
just gonna, like, leave him to it.
Gotta reuse reduce and re write and then just put it back in my
pack. Yeah, you won the red circle in
the center. Yep.
Do I recognize any of the runes on it around it?
Yeah, go ahead and make me an investigation.
Check. Wow.
Seven. I'm gonna say I don't.
It looks like a weird rating. Honestly, it's a little strange.
It's not a rating you recognize. Is it embossed?
They. Are yes.
I. Don't know what that word means,
but yeah, they're there. Either like raised up from the
surface that they're on, or impressed into the surface that
they're on so they leave an indent of their shade.
Got it. They are embossed, raised up.
I'm going to pull out my sketchbook and just like write
these runes down like on an empty page and then just try to
copy them the best that they are like not in their exact pattern.
Got it. You do that just.
Trying to get a sketch of what they are and this setup that is
right here between the red and the blue rune circle here.
Yeah, you are a caster of some sort, so go ahead and make me an
Arcana check. Boy, you guys are doing great.
So good. So good you're not.
Sure. But you look at the two and you
say there has to be some correlation.
Right. Yep, So I just try to sketch it
up as best I can. OK.
And you write them all down in order without doing the pattern
as you'd said. Nice.
I made myself a sketching skill. Nice.
Nice job. Yeah.
You did very good. As you sketch them, as you
sketch them because you did so good as you, you kind of start
noticing about halfway through that you're essentially just
kind of drawing stick people. All the symbols look like stick
people. Little bit as you're as you're
like writing and making them like a like halfway three
quarter through you're realizing this is you're essentially just
doing stick people. After I make note of that, I'm
going to kind of like call it out over to Josh, be like, hey,
did you see? But these are stick figures on
this red circle here. Nope.
I've been kind of focused on this thing and it's runes that's
interesting. Maybe.
Maybe you need to dance around on it doing the stick figure
dance. I'm like, I think that's a good
idea. And after I finish the sketch, I
will walk up to one of the one side of the red circle and look
at the stick figure next to it and just kind of like hold that
pose and then watch for the next one and hold that pose which?
Wait, which one? Which one are you doing?
First wait, which one? I will start here.
OK, you do that pose and nothing happens.
I go counter clockwise to the next one.
Nothing happens. And then the next one.
Hey look, nothing happens over just pausing my ritual for 1/2 a
second. Did you follow the the diagram?
That's the, OR at least the. Looks like there's some sort of
intent behind that symbol in the middle too.
Start here and there kind of thing.
Oh, so I try to like re examine that shape.
You look at it. Do you want to roll an
investigation? But in the meantime Josh, we'll
you're we'll have your help initial go off right now.
Yeah, you're so good, Jessie doing great.
As your identify goes off Josh, a little pop up menu pops up in
front of your face and grill of text kind of goes through or do
you want it to let you download in your mind how video gamey do
we want this to be? I mean that.
Actually, yes, I do want it to be, yeah.
It's up to you bud. So OK, a a a scroll of text
appears in front of you. Only you can see in a line of
text appears. Is there a voice in my head too
that goes along with it? There is not.
I was hoping. Sorry, AI dungeon crawler.
That's going to start doing feet stuff for you?
No, not yet. And you get the sense that this
is a high level cast of Lehman's Tiny Hut, and it appears
connected to the diagram just to the South.
Connected to the diagram like it seems to be powered.
Like there's an arcane connection between the two.
Oh, OK, I see. Let's see.
Olivia prop to you for a moment. What are you doing?
Yeah, so I am trying to investigate this poor body in
the the cage. So I want to know if I can tell
anything about the cage. I think the body is dead.
It looks like the body's dead. Just trying to see if I can
glean anything about how they died or or what the cage is out
of or how long they've. Been, yeah.
And then so the token itself is a little deceiving because I
didn't have a better token for it.
As you approach this body and take a little bit of a closer
look, go ahead and make me that Investigation check or
Perception. Investigation.
They should have rolled perception.
Yep, I should. Have Well, it's pretty obvious
when you they are dead. They appear to be dead.
They are not moving. However, when you kind of like
get a better look, their skin appears not to be skin colored.
It's like a deep mottled green. As for the cage itself, it's
fairly standard construction steel, the door locked from the
outside or. Like does it need?
It does look like it would need a key.
There's like a padlock. It does need a key.
All right. Yeah, 'cause I.
Like. Padlocks.
I'm gonna like pull on the door and see if if it is loose at
all. It is.
It is locked. OK, all right, well, we don't
know if this poor person sacrificed themselves or was
trapped here or what, OK? I roll a performance to Bart and
see how if it wakes them up or not sure.
Sorry, that stupid brain. I've got a -, 1, so it's not
looking great. It might shart.
That's a nap. You need new pants.
You go, you go up, so you go.
Fart in this dude. You begin farting and then you
must have had something like Taco Bell or something a little
spicy the day before. Or put too much hot sauce in
because it just comes out and you you shit yourself.
And as you look down and feel it run down your legs, you see the
person is indeed still dead. What?
That wouldn't bring them back from the dead.
Yeah. You got prestigigitation.
Nope, you. Start looking around.
I said I look over at Josh. I'm like, you can take the dead
guy's pants if he can get in there.
I don't think he needs him anymore.
I I try to reach through the bars, I I touch him.
For. Wait, wait, wait.
Before I do anything to do I feel any sort of pulse are you,
are you reaching out and put grabbing this guy's arm
somewhere? That would I would yeah.
That would be preferable honestly, as the neck.
But anywhere that you you reach through and kind of adjust him
so that you can get to the neck. And upon doing so, you realize
this isn't a human. This is a green skinned humanoid
creature with large tusks sticking out of its mouth.
Kind of looks like Shrek. But you would know from from
your past D&D games that this is a this is an orc, and as you
feel the the knack, there is no pulse.
He is dead. Well, that didn't go as planned.
I I've been watching them like wrestle.
She was like wrestling with the door and he's reaching through
shits himself. I turn back around and I
checked. I wanna check the table, see if
there's like a key like check under the papers, see if there's
any key for this this. This go ahead and read.
Roll me a investigation. So many searches.
Find a key. I do find a key that.
Big old rusty iron one. All right, I.
Also just wanted to say that I displayed that purposely because
I was saying that as I walked over and chat myself what I
found out about the thing. I don't know what it means
necessarily, but oh God, excuse me.
Then just continue on explaining and oh the tiny Hut.
Yeah, the Tiny Hut part explaining to everyone that
somehow there's we're inside of a tiny Hut that's like an
immobile Dome of force. Oh, you you would understand
that this force field is a tiny Hut.
Oh, around around the portal. I see.
So that I would explain that this.
Yeah, that's the tiny Hut. I thought we were inside it when
you were explaining it. My my apologies.
I'm gonna take my big rusty key, walk over to the cage, open it
up, pull the door back and turn to this is.
Smells it's like dead guy and shit.
Yeah, so there I I get AI get a big whiff of that.
I can't tell if it's Josh or the dead guy.
And I turn to is it. I'm sorry, is this Olivia right
here? Mm hmm.
OK. I turned to Olivia.
I was like, yes, I'm after you. Well, I'm happy that it's open.
I'm not sure that I'm interested in going in there anymore, but
I'm going to say, hey guys, there's a hallway.
There's more. It's like the sham Wow guy.
I think there's more. Yeah, you guys go on ahead.
But I'll catch up. I mean, do we want to go down
this hallway? We can always turn around.
And yeah, there was some good There was another murder back
there. We might need to investigate,
but I don't know how's this guy dagged.
Further back where? He looks like as you investigate
him investigating him, he looks like he died of starvation.
Yep. Somebody should should feed the
prisoners better. Also, he was partially eaten.
Oh, like, does it look like he ate himself?
Nope. Going to say usually you start
with your fingers and toes if you're doing if you're you know
trying to survive. But as you uncurl his body, I
assume if you've kind of like looking at him, it looks like he
was curled around himself and his stomach cavity is hell is
like eaten out. His pants are still intact
though, right? They are they.
They seem weirdly like medieval style, like a renaissance
costume. Like, no.
Lucan's scratchy. Yeah, don't mind me, I'll just
start taking my pants off. Still raging the hard boner.
Just you know, don't worry. I think they'll be more
distracted by the amount of shit.
Yeah, it's gross. The rest of you, what are you
doing? Well, he attends to himself.
Is he all awkwardly in steering different directions?
Is this hallway? Yeah.
Is this hallway lit or is it dark?
That's great. I have a light spell.
Once your once your. Face Great, So let's pull the
party as I am very interested in this, looking at this corner
over here, from where I stand, so do we.
What do we want to do? Do we want to go down the
hallway, or do we want to leave and go back to our Mystery
Machine, our legally distinct Mystery Machine?
Man, isn't the point of coming here to turn the portal off God?
Sammy J. Hey, it's me breaking up.
Where are you? I can't.
Bad service. Close the portal.
All this has been happening. I've still been trying to like
figure out these poses here on the red circle and I started
going from like where the line begins to the next corner, to
the next corner, to the next corner.
As you get to this location and make the pose, suddenly music
begins to play and the tablet itself lights up and Dance Dance
Revolution song comes on. As you move across this, you
make me a performance check. I don't know if that's the
answer and Revolution, but. Oh God.
You get about two in before you miss Steph and then try again
player. Oh, oh, oh.
So I'd like pick this up and I run over and I said I want to
try I. Gladly.
Like, take a step back and I'm like, go ahead.
I'm just, I'm out of beat tonight today.
I don't know what time it is. I guess I'll start here doing
the same thing, right? So starting with this pose.
Does not light. Up go to this pose.
When you started there, says When she was over here, it lit
up. What?
Oh. You step on it.
Make the pose dance performance. So what do I have to roll?
And Justin, what are you up to? I'm watching them do this.
I'm kind of at the corner of my eye.
I'm looking at. I'm looking at this box over
here. Seems like a pretty random box
in a a room with not really much else.
I want to check it out kind of. Maybe push it a little bit too
if. There's anything?
In it, Sure, with a six you get 2 in before you messed up and it
goes try again player. Damn it.
This is a suspiciously empty crate and the bottom seems to
have been chewed out. The bottom the Justin.
I'm going to walk over to Jesse and like, touch her gently on
the shoulder and so tag you're. Going to return back to the
circle and start again at this pose.
You can also cheat. Daddy 20.
You begin. You feel it in your bones.
The music, the vibe, the pace. You've got it once more as you
pose and then pirouette to the other space.
You pose to the third pose, pose, pose, pose faster, and
then victory. You win.
I jump. Up, down.
And I cheer. I don't know why.
This portal flickers off the the Tiny Hut.
OK, that worked. So did the portal close like
it's closed now? No, just the the tiny Hut
protecting the portal. The this machine is now gone.
So can we got? Like, really just I want to walk
up and punch it. I know this is a bad.
Idea Kill us all. To the machine and I'm going to
punch it. Every time.
I'm gonna, you have. Me in a cage.
Every time. You punch it.
It's a sturdy machine. It's kind of a there are parts
of it that almost feel like carapace and then when you punch
it, you hit kind of the softer part and it kind of gives a
little bit almost like flash and then it like pulls back and then
that springs back. Now that the three of you are
over there, Olivia and Justin, make me a History Check 11.
I don't like that it's alive. I get, like, creepy Crawly.
Olivia, you recognize the second object.
It's a dirty attached to this machine, pointed directly at the
portal next to the iPhone that's open to Google Maps, separately
downloaded, legally distinct is a is an item that you recognize.
You've never seen it, but you've heard of what it's.
Called. The pocket rocket.
Oh shit. You pick it up.
It seems to be kind of held in place by two kind of like
tendrils of this machine, but not super tightly as you can.
Kind of like wiggle and dislodge it.
Oh sweet. Yeah, I'm going to pick it up.
And I'm going to hold it and then I'm going to and then I'm
going to look over at Jesse and be like Jesse.
Jesse, the iPhone can't fuck with it.
I'll like fuck it up. It'll it'll it'll be bad.
Let's, let's move the OK. So I I go over to the iPhone and
I type in an address to. White Castle, maybe?
Somewhere. To the nearest White Castle.
Yeah, but which one? To the nearest White Castle.
OK, let's see Google Maps. What have I done?
Where are we? Again?
What is? What was the place called?
You're you're at the Hopewell National Conservatory.
It should be in the history if you wanna go back so you know.
White Castle, Ohio. Jesus, there's one right in
town. There is this is gonna.
Be a lot. I'm gonna.
Set it criteria. That White Castle.
All right, you set it to that White Castle and you be in
hearing a ripping and tearing sound as reality itself bends,
twists, shakes and tears. And then the screen of the
iPhone cracks as the bus the portal closes, cutting the bus
in half, and then immediately opens up and you see several
tables fall over one of. Them.
Yeah, had they've been, they were cut when it opened and they
fall over and Romea and D20 see if anyone was there.
Just a random D20. Just a random D20.
See if you get a Natty 116. OK, you did not kill someone.
Ice cream falls to the floor. Ice cream falls to the floor.
You got like, you got like half of the ice cream, like a stand.
So there's just like a like, you know, one of those stands of the
the gallons of five gallon buckets of ice cream.
It begins melting instantly because it's really warm in
here. So what happened to the van that
got cut in half? Is it still like upright on its
two tires or did it flop over? It flopped over into the inside
of the portal or the outside of the portal.
The inside 1/2 is to the inside, 1/2 to the outside.
Oh, so the whole thing came with us.
I thought only half of. It came with us.
No, like it split in half like hot dog style, OK.
The way you had it parked in the portal, that's how it got
caught. The one that the part half that
was inside fell and the half that was outside stayed out.
OK, so it stayed in Hopewell. All right, I'm going to March
out of the portal. You March out of the portal
directly into a White Castle. There's an employee there
screaming. Aliens.
Man, after cleaning my pants, run directly as fast as I can to
the portal, stick my head out and say order a 30 pack.
I hold my hand out to the person screaming and I'm like, we may
be aliens, but we are here in peace.
Don't bring back. Your burgers don't do stuff to
my partner money. Do you just alien customers?
Yeah. And I just March up and I just
like kind of keep like a grin on my face.
And I'm like, yeah, we heard about White Castle Burgers and
we're here to try them and we want a 30 pack.
And I like pull cash out of my wallet from my bag and I slap it
on the counter. Oh man.
What is going up? Sure, he looks over.
It looks like the kitchen's still intact.
Where are you going after this, guys?
Can I like, can I come? I could be.
I could, I could be like, with that guy from that one Marvel
movie. What's his name?
The one that they got abducted and hangs out with cool aliens.
I can't remember his Star Lord legally distinct.
He looks shocked. A giant portal has just appeared
inside his his White Castle. And he looks.
Very high. I look at him and I'm just like,
I think that would be tons of fun if you could come with us,
but I'm not sure that your intestines could handle
interstellar teleportation. And I really don't want, like,
your insides to turn to go and you to die, because you seem
really, really just cool, bro. He looks at you.
He's like my insides. Give me a persuasion with
advantage. Both were bad.
I. Don't believe you, bro.
I I eat so many chili dogs every day, My stomach can handle
anything, man. Righteous.
Through this portal right here. And then he moves to walk
through the portal. And I, I, I I put my hand up.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What about our 30 pack?
Oh, burgers. Yeah, burgers first.
OK. He looks back at the portal
longingly. Man, I wish I could escape real
life. And then kind of kicks his feet
and then goes back to the kitchen to start making your
order. All right, You guys have opened
a portal to white, right? That is the most dedicated
employee ever. Got to pay rent, guys.
The economy. It sucks, bro.
I'm. Not paying.
I'm not closing well. Is there a manager here?
I can't believe nobody's come out and yelled at us yet.
Oh bro, no manager. Now it's just me.
Weird, right? I don't want.
I've actually, I've actually, I've been in Oh yeah, like fast
food places where. That's the robot's literally
taking our jobs. Look, and he points over and
there's a bunch of, like automated, like, order stations
that you see. He looks at you and he's like
corporations in the government, man.
They're just, like screwing us all really hard, you know?
There's one day there's going to be no jobs for anyone.
And people think, oh, if robots do all the jobs and we can just
spend our time having fun. But that's not how it works,
man. It's not.
I'm not having fun. I just walk fully out of the
border at that point and I go. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's that's legit. I remember a day and time when I
was the only person running all those stations those robots had
to do. And that was that was hell.
Yeah, so. So one, you got to be thankful
of that. And two, I mean, come on, look
at your stances. You're about to join an amazing
adventure here. So that's true, man.
That's true. And he slaps you on the
shoulders. Like, I'm so excited, man.
I'm gonna go make some burgers. I'll make some extras just so we
have some for, like, the road. And he looks at Portal.
I don't know if you'd have Rd. Portal wormholes.
Yeah, Then he wanders away. My name's Todd.
No, not Todd. I've used Todd.
My name's Hippie name. Sunshine.
Oh no shit. That's my sister.
Fuck Mike. My name's my name's MM but my
online gamer tag is XXCL border 69XX Many Leaves.
To kind of like look bag of Josh, I'm like, we really want
these burgers, right? Do you think if he comes with us
he's going to get hurt? I I thought it wasn't.
Yeah, I thought. I thought it was a distraction
technique so we could just. Taco Bell's butter, but
whatever. OK, let's go all.
Right back into the portal. You guys run off back in the
portal, run, just leave the money on the counter 'cause I
feel bad. Oh no.
Oh, this poor guy. No one's going to believe him.
30. Burgers eat quite a big it's
gonna. Have 30 bursts.
I think I put down a 20. Are we going to Taco Bell now?
Like now? I'm now I'm Johnson looking at
the looking at the iPhone. It has cracked once.
Make an arcana Jack. Don't worry, I've got mending.
2. I actually have mending too.
Oh, it's so great, those. With with Arcana, are we all
making these checks 19? With a 19 you you get the.
Sense that. Using this teleporter too often
will probably break it and trap you here, but you don't know.
Well, somebody got a 21. You understand that There's
probably maybe like two more uses out of this thing before it
breaks. I understand.
Oh shit. OK, well then.
One and one-on-one hand, that's a good thing.
We want to break it. On the other hand, it's a bad
thing. We don't.
Do we want to be stuck here? Hey Justin, do you think you
could like? Sneak back through the portal
and grab those 30 burgers. Hold on I.
Got AI? Got a better idea?
Sneak back through the portal. The dude's standing at the
counter and he's like got all these burgers and he's looking
around like super squinty eyes. He's like, where'd they go, man?
Well, he's, I I walk up to him. I'm like, I'm with them.
But hey, man, you you forgot our fries, dude.
We ordered fries with those. He's like, Oh no, do right, man,
I got you and that. Two turns around as he turns
around. I'm like.
Went right right back through the portal with all the burgers
in hand. As he turns around, you can see
he's on a little. Headset on the phone and he's
talking to someone. He's like, yeah, mom, I'm really
excited. I'm gonna go off and be an
adventurer and change my life. So you probably won't see me
again, but if I ever do come back, I'll probably be super
cool and then I'll rescue us from poverty.
And then he says. But I just got to make these
fries a second, and then I'll join the group.
And then he begins making the fries.
But you didn't hear the last part, 'cause you grabbed the
burgers and ran through the portal.
I got the burgers, guys. While he was go.
Grabbing the burgers I was kind of messing.
With the phone to see. If it had any other apps, if it
would let me do anything else with it, sure.
So when you swipe it, it goes to.
A home screen, and it has a picture of Jillian on it.
I assume whatever Jillian's background home screen is, but
for now I'm just going to say it's a picture of her and a
friend. Question Mark.
OK. Animal.
Probably pet her and her pet. Yeah, so this this phone
teleported us to this white. Castle and obviously got to.
Where were we? Hopewell?
I was like, do we want to go back there and deal with that?
Situation we're. Well, we fixed the situation by
losing it out, moving and gunshots, but.
OK. We.
You guys are oh so we fixed half of the situation.
Fix the portal. High.
Moral. Fiber.
So actually, you're right, we probably should go back to the
prison, because I feel like whatever came.
Through the portal went to the prison.
Wasn't. It you, Olivia, too, We said.
We got two more uses out of this thing.
And we got burgers, so maybe we could take a bite.
Just land in the middle of the prison with this portal.
I mean, sure, Yeah, we could do. That well, yeah, maybe I like.
It. I don't know if it'll let us
control it 'cause. Like I just.
Put in this place. 'S address and we popped in
right in the middle of it. Like, do you think I should just
pick? Yeah, exactly.
GPS not not address put. In a GPS coordinate.
Oh wait guys, as I take a bite myself.
Wasn't one of our. Mission.
Points to find out what happened to the last dude they sent out
here wasn't that well, I'm pretty sure he died inside of
that Hopewell national. Museum.
But that's just my take. Oh, I assume he's dead too.
But how? Yeah.
That person have any identifier? Oh, wait.
Identification. They didn't give us a display.
I pressed the start button on the game.
Boy. In the is this.
Is the image still spotty, Sammy J?
It is very spotty. Sammy Drake.
What's up? I'm pointed at The prisoner is.
This is this the previous guy? No, that's an orc.
We don't have those here on Earth.
Yeah, that. Makes sense?
It was a nice. Try though.
OK bye. We killed them all off and then
it hangs up. That's.
Dark. I reach for another burger.
I I have a burger at this point I'm eating it and I'm like, man.
He is. Not cool soccer or Jess, You
mentioned that you were. Searching for.
ID you searched the individual's pockets and in there kind of
like like a chest, jacket pocket, you find a little card
that reads head archivist or head.
What was the word head artificer, Socrates or Socrates
University? I kind of just oh shit, guys.
I think we. Did we meet this guy in another
universe? I say this very questioningly
and. Then I read off.
The card out loud? Oh no, definitely not.
We were in Socrates, though in another universe.
I I I think if that's to be believed, Yep.
Yeah. Wait, is this the?
Guy that's in the I'm looking at poopy pants on him.
He's pantsless. I'm.
Not I'm not a monster. I.
Say if we're looking for. Identification shouldn't.
We look in Josh's face. Handle the.
Course to put pants on not a monster.
Jeez. Josh not.
Just pants. Shitty pants it would be.
Worse if I. Just left him pantsless.
I mean, come on. I wanna investigate the.
The device holding the iPhone? Sure do.
So yeah, I was gonna. Say, do I do an investigation or
an arcana Your? Choice will tell you different
things. OK, let's see. 14 so the 14
Arcana. You get the sense that this
seems to be some sort of magitek.
A living magitek, to be specific.
It is, as I've said, kind of pouring off these waves of power
at the portal. It itself seems, you know,
moderately vulnerable now that it is not protected.
It has the the the iPhone in the center that is kind of being
used as its focus point, a focus point that kind of looks like
two small little crystal nodes at the end of each of these
little like arms. And as you kind of look even
closer, you get the sense that this might have once been a
person there the the the actual like arms of the machine.
Pointing out. It almost looks like somebody
was bound to a chair and held out forward and then some sort
of plating. This tightness kind of plating
covered him or her. Yeah.
After I make this realization, I kind of.
Start looking to see if I can see like a head or clothing
items to see if I can find anything that would identify
them as an individual. Sure.
You can find you do find. Kind of like the remnants.
Overhead. It's, as I said, kind of covered
over with this kite Ness material.
The form itself is there, and the body itself is so covered
that there's not really any identifiable features on it.
Can I pull back any of? Yeah, anything like that?
Can I pull back any of the Kite Ness plating?
No piercing. You can give me a strength check
to pull some of this off. OK.
Why didn't that work? 10 With A10 you'll be able to
pull one of the smaller pieces. Off the.
Arm As it pulls off, you see something underneath of it and
you realize this isn't a kite Ness plating.
It's some sort of insectoid creature that has clawed its way
deeply into the flesh of this individual's arm, The.
The person themselves. The skin underneath is modeled
and almost grayish grayish tinged.
At this point you, it seems human, likes in nature's at
least the skin itself from what you can see.
Do you want to continue pulling? Pieces off.
No at this. Point I kind of want to like.
Say out loud all the stuff I figured out like guys, I think
this is a person in this device or thing and.
They're. Covered in bugs, Bugs.
I think it's bugs Reach for. Another burger and I'm just like
holding the like bug. Thing that I pulled off of them
and. I'm like see very grossed out,
like he tries to like reach. Rio We obviously need to kill it
with fire. We should probably.
It's the only thing to. Do now I have fireball?
Let's go at least. Get back to our van.
So we don't have to. Steal another one.
But. We should probably also, but if
we do then the portal closes. Negative.
Kill it with fire now. No, I feel like.
I feel like we should kill it with fire, like once we're back
through the. Portal to just finish it off and
close it behind us, yeah. Can I?
It did last time. I think fire will go through the
portal when you cast it last. It just bounced off with the
shield. Yeah, now the shield is on.
Let's move the portal. Back where we were, let's.
Move the portal. Where do we want to?
Or do we want to just you? Want to go?
Back to hope. Or do we just want to go like
directly back to base? You want to go back to hope?
That would. Be a power play, right?
Here's the What. About.
What about? The prison What about the
prison? Wait.
But they. Gave us a van and told us to
drive from there. They gave you the van and they
told they dropped you off at like a a undisclosed separate
van garage location so you could go back to the garage.
I say we deposit the portal at the yard in the prison where
they put on the center. Like to one side of it side
time. Right in their playground here.
I'll put you guys back in the prison.
If the prison's built like a. Record on.
The on the map I would rather put the.
Portal. Yeah.
Like like down here it looks. Like they have some outside
time. Down there.
Yeah, you see? OK.
Yeah, sure. Or.
There like either there or. See this.
Seems like administration like this is like a this whole thing.
Is like a right we won't be like sorry architectural background
administration and this is this is definitely prison.
There's two yards, 1-2. They should probably they.
All I'm saying is I don't want to be dropped in the center of a
bunch of angry. Violent criminals.
Right, I would. Rather be like I would rather
have a wall to my back, right? Or like not I say down here
because then we can work our way through the prison.
That's the only point I'm trying to make.
So we're. Not like surrounded and that
might be a good idea. Yeah, this works.
I would just remind you. Guys, you remember?
That you were. Told by the guards when you
first got here that the warden would probably want to talk to
you, though you know you are expected more or less at the
prison. Oh, OK.
I mean, are we expected coming? Out of a portal though, are we,
But. You murder.
All of the prisoners, because that's.
What we're about to do, maybe, yeah.
I was going to say there's probably all the prisoners have
already been there, but. We got burgers gone for a hot
yeah and. And what was happening and and
our work. Was done for us by whatever.
Was murdering so you? Know burgers.
So yeah, I'm going to set the teleporter.
To like appear like. Yeah, it's fine right there.
Like, I'm just going to put a peg.
Can I? Not ping anymore.
Right there that is. That's way north.
Is there anything in the room you guys want to look?
At before taking off put you back just in case.
So far, you guys have looked at the cage you've looked at.
This thing you've. Looked at the.
Box, You've generally looked at this table learned.
A little bit about it. There's still papers on the wall
and then this hallway that goes somewhere.
I want to go take pictures of the table and the papers on the
wall. All right, you do.
So is. This a.
Skull. Right here or is this?
Just part of the table, the. Imagery.
I think it's just part of the imagery but in that there is a
skull there I'm. Taking it and I'm putting it in
my purse. Well, in.
That spot, like I said there was on Kind.
Of like a little pedestal thing. A a what?
You cut out there for a second. Sorry, I dropped my phone.
Whoops, all right. On there was a pedestal with a
circular meta metallic type of spherical object instead of
where the skull is. OK, well, I'm going to take that
spherical object and put it in my purse.
You touch it. I need everybody in the room to
make me dexterity. Saving throw, God damn it.
You said dexterity. I'm going to do so.
Great. Oh my.
God fucker. Actually, wait, hold on.
Let me see. Who?
Who's. Actually.
In range. Where were I'm?
I'm where I'm at. I'm eating the.
Burgers. And Olivia?
Was up there too, Justin. You were?
I was. I've.
I've been where. I'm at at coast by using.
The burgers, Yeah, So just. Jesse Yeah.
I haven't moved four. That's gonna hurt as.
Let's see. Let me go find the text.
Every creature and. Object that isn't being worn or
carried within. 30 feet. Let's make ADC 16 Strength
check. On a failed save, a creature
takes 5D6 force damage and. Is pulled towards.
The center 5 feet radius center of the spot where it's thrown or
explodes. If a creature is pulled to the
center, they. Take an additional 30 force.
Damage and are pushed back to the nearest open point away from
the center. On a successful save, they take
half damage and aren't pulled. The creatures are already at the
center of the explosion, then they have disadvantage on the
saving throw, and if they fail they take five D 6 + 30 and
they're knocked prone. So did you say strength save?
Or Sex save. Strength.
Yep. Jesus, it's a deck save.
To us 'cause we all do Oh. Strength save.
I'm sorry. Yep, didn't do much.
Better. Yep.
And I'm gonna do weight. Well, only.
Just right now is in. Range.
Oh, OK. That's what I thought, 'cause I
was holding this there for a while too.
That's got. Like. 30 right in here.
So you take 42 points of damage Jess, as this thing lights up
and then splits apart. And then reality kind of sucks
in as you feel your arm pulled into this device and then an
explosion that throws you against the opposite wall.
All of the papers scatter, and the ones that were.
Directly next to the device are basically disintegrated.
Good thing you took a photo. Yep, the.
Rest. Of you guys see?
This as you're fucking with the burgers.
With the device, with the burgers, yeah, yeah.
You slammed to the ground. I'm like slumped on the.
Ground and I'm I just kind. Of like cough and I'm like
wheezing a little bit trying to get my air back and I'm like
fine, don't touch the ball. It's not there anymore.
So. That's a plus.
Did you do? You need any help I I I.
Could probably. A little, a little worse for the
wear, but I can't tell how bad. So that I could.
Yeah. How bad do you look right now?
I'm looking pretty bad. I'm.
Looking pretty bad because like I normally.
I have like 10 HP left. I'm gonna guess that my hair and
my face are just like all kind of fudged up right now.
I think I do have a healing thing in a lot of pain.
Your atoms hurt. I.
Look in my inventory and at the burned out table and go if we.
Had. Another few hours I could
probably make another healing potion, but I.
Have a singular one. I was.
Planning to to to recreate. I also do have have.
Something that I could probably heal you up.
With otherwise before we jump into this prison, which seems
like a good idea so you're not just knocked out.
Yeah, that would seem like a good idea.
I was like I do have. Healer Healing I I could, I
could do. You for 2D4. +2 Either which
way, whether or not it's the heat health.
Potion or my Healing Word. If I do my healing with.
With a healer's kit, I get one D 6 + 4.
Nice. My hit dice.
That's super. Useful.
Yeah, that's a great. That's a great feat for the real
world. Yeah, I figured it fit me too,
because like, my. Mom's a nurse and I helped.
Her study and it was awful. I learned a lot of things that I
wish I didn't learn. What did I just say?
1D6 plus? Four.
I think so. Yep.
And you? Have a Healer's.
Kit has 10 uses and you have. There are many you have.
I'm not going to tell you how many you took, so you tell me.
I don't know. I mean.
If these are not that. If these are like a Helix.
Kit being like. A triage kit.
You could probably fit like three of three or four of them
in like a backpack being like, OK, well, that's what my purse
is. It's essentially it's a
backpack. It just also comes with a
shoulder strap so I can carry it around like it's a purse.
So you guys have you'll you'll have basically let's.
Say. Roll 1D four and add 1, you'll
have OK. You have 4 Healer's Kits and
each of them have 10 uses. Oh.
Two, you have 2-3 healer's kits and each has 10 uses, so you
basically have 30. Each application I'm going to
say is going to take 10 minutes. And.
I'm not going to put a limit on how many times you can use it.
OK, so I rolled my D. Six, but I forgot what it was.
3A3A33. +4 And then my hit dice. Which I don't remember.
What that is? You're a druid.
Yeah. Let's see. 5E Hit druids.
Get a hit Dice 1D8. 1D8 OK, so. 4/8 and three, not 17 the other
way. 1515. Nice.
Yeah. Like I said, if you want to take
some time. To heal up, you can as well.
Yeah, I'm just going to continue to like try to sit there on the
floor and be like I'm going to I'm.
Going to bandage myself up guys take take, take a 5 minute break
or so. I just cough as I'm just
imagining. I'm just kind.
Of like wrapping like. Bandages around my arms.
I ruined my favorite hoodie. I.
Nod. And I.
Look. Over at Justin and.
I go How did you get the burgers?
By the way, so funny story. We.
We got the burgers, but we didn't get the fries that.
We ordered, so let's just let's just keep it at that.
Look over at Olivia, who's closest to the portal.
Negative Ghost Rider. Somebody go put GPS coordinates
for the. Prison.
Put another burger into the iPad.
Put another burger in my bag. Staying on the.
Capping. Bugs.
I. Am not.
I'm back. Here.
I am not the captain, not this campaign.
Somebody go touch the bug monstrosity.
I don't. Work for, we decided.
On the back wall of the prison are.
We going to go talk to the ward? Then we're going to leave, and
then we're going to have killed this thing with fire.
Like this is a. Commentary on people being too
invested in their phones. You're the one.
That's controlling us. There.
Oh, Justin. I mean, that's true.
All right, let's go back. Back.
Wall of the prison. I pick.
Myself up from the wall and I wander over and I'm like.
I'm OK guys. I live another day as I'm as I'm
as I'm looking at the phone and like putting the coordinates in,
I reach out behind. Me with a burger in my hand and
hand it to her. I gladly take it and I'm just
scarfing it down, 'cause I. Can just imagine I'm so.
Fucking hungry now. And these burgers are like, are
like the size. Of like, not even a baseball.
They're like. Yeah, yeah, they're.
Slider. Burgers.
Those. Are Easy Burger OK?
Yeah. Let me say, I've.
Been to White Castle once and this was.
Many, many moons. Ago.
That's why I've been smashing them.
You order them like you order. Chicken Nuggets 20 count.
All right, coordinates are put in for the back little southern.
Like. Yard of the prison.
Yep. The portal begins to shake, Ben
twist. Or not portal.
The air does and the portal vanishes once again and the
iPhone cracks even further and so some nothing.
Nothing falls out of the portal. It seems like you guys placed it
in a place where it wouldn't kill anything.
Darn. OK, so.
You guys. Exit the portal.
You guys were to the South, right?
I'm. Going to move you.
Guys, and then yes. I'd be go ahead.
I was just gonna say if. No one else is saying it.
I'm going. To be the last to.
Exit. The portal and try to cast
mending on the on the iPhone. Yeah, that's probably a good
idea. It.
Takes. Why are you trying to cast
Mending? We want to destroy it.
Hold it and say and say. You remember what you were.
I. I do want to note that.
What? Happened to the bug that I was.
Holding Did you bring it with you?
I mean, it's still squirming. It's trying to get at you, but I
wouldn't have been able to hold it, Would I have held on to it?
When I got like oh. Yeah, I mean.
It was. Being.
Worn or carried, Right It was being worn or carried, I or
your. Own one.
I was. I was.
Being carried, it was in my hand.
Yeah, so. You still?
Have it. It's singed and it looks a
little defeated. But the iPhone?
Does repair Josh but. It can't restore the magic,
that's a. And unfortunately.
That doesn't work. I can tell for sure that.
That OK. Darn.
They go. Walking out of the portal, the
last one and they go. Well, we we've only got this
one. Exit device here if shit gets
real, one of use left, say while taking both of my hands and.
And just washing. Them.
Well, so to say as. Soon as look as soon as everyone
is out of in front of the portal.
You shoot a fire bolt into the portal.
The portal roll. Roll an attack for me.
Try to destroy? Yeah.
Yeah, that will hit an. Inanimate person.
As it hits, you see, blowing from this individual's chest is
the bugs, the carapace covering him as he as he finally slumps
forward and the portal flickers out and disappears.
What is our exit plan now? As that happens, I kind of like.
Lean down towards Josh and I try to.
Whisper to him, and I'm like, so you know Matt paid me a visit,
right? No.
OK, he totally did. But I tell him.
I'm like, he took that. What was it?
The cloth of the universe. Fabric.
The fabric of the universe. He took that fabric of the
universe that I. You know got.
During that one time. It's as I say.
It that means he took a portion. Of the infinite.
And I kind of like Chuckle. And I'm like, yeah, 'cause I.
Found more in my bag. And I have it with me.
I don't know if that's important or will help, but I thought I'd.
Mention. It it's interesting, I'll say
that, but I. Don't think it helps us in a
current situation. We're kind of stuck inside of a
prison with no. Way out.
I mean. Are we?
Yes, we just. Poured on all the way in and
then blew up the portal. That you help me that you?
Did that, that you did that? On mere mortal we have magic.
You're just making our. Mortals.
Mere. Mortals on the fabric of the
universe. And the.
Warden's on the side, OK? Yeah, I suck.
I. I don't know why I do anything.
What the? Fuck, I'm sorry.
I just went to the other screen. Yeah.
I shouldn't giggle this is. What you just portaled into
there guys? I should not come at this.
Is it my so? Is it a ball of corpses?
You guys just ate a bunch of burgers too?
Yeah, we do. We do.
We do have a pond giant, so of course.
It's quite a lot. So with your.
Arcana check, Jesse. You don't.
Really gain too much in glean too much knowledge from the
situation. Are you saying you had you had
two swatches with you? No.
So as a clarification, just for. Yourself candidly.
And this is quite meta, but basically when she took and gave
you a piece, it is it is is infinite.
So the thing just unintentionally became two
pieces, because that's the fabric of reality is infinite.
That's. Sexy.
I don't like that. OK, exactly.
Infinity. Divided by two, the math works.
The math works. It's.
So good. Anyway, let me.
Describe the scene that you. Guys now walk into.
It's fairly quiet now this. Yes, please do at least.
Your your portal opens. On a quiet scene.
You've walked in or out of the portal into what seems a back
kind of green space of a prison. However, unlike normal prisons,
this one is covered in corpses, and in the center a large
mountain of corpses sits silently above in the sky.
You can see birds circling as one individual prisoner runs
forward here. What screaming forward?
And he says help, help and then from.
The giant pile of corpses. A writhing tentacle reaches
forward, grabs him by the leg, pulls he falls onto his stomach
and then claws at the dirt as it just reels him in.
Where are we located while we are watching this?
Like where? Are persons.
So you guys were to the South of this, I believe, so you would?
Have like I'm just put it. I put you on the map so you
could see, but you would be a little bit further South of
this. You can see individuals profiles
standing on the roof of the prison with rifles, and the
center of this green space where this mountain of corpses is has
large streaks of blood in all directions.
Kind of centered towards it, OK. So I'm going to guess this is
something we need to kill a fire.
I can do that. I'm wondering if we should leave
this. I think that would probably be
wise hanger. For this session but.
Yeah, I guess it's a pretty good.
Time. Oh no, just to clarify, are.
These all singular dead bodies like out switched.
Through your mouth are these alive.
All those are all singular. Bodies.
Laying on the. Ground and then the giant
mountain of bodies with a giant tentacle that just shot out,
grabbed a guy, pulled it towards themselves and then he
disappears into the mound. And that is the scene.
You. See.
As you portal in. You look around, you are
completely fenced in because you've portaled into a prison
and it turned off the portal. Oh, cool.
So next time? Thanks.
Olivia. I had an.
Escape plan. You're welcome.
No, the escape. We wanted to be able to escape
prison. No.
Well, we'll. Find another one if this if the
plot. Continues to thicken.
We're going to find another one. So I don't know the I have a
feeling the mass of bodies in front of us.
Is going to turn into one. Because the thing that was
running the last portal was a body with.
Who knows? Find out next.
Time. Personal jinx.
Thing tells me that all of these.
Bodies. Yeah.
That's that's my terrible. Prediction hours.
But but yeah, bugs, right? Fun times.
I love White Castle bugs. Eating people and dead bodies
and yeah. You destroyed.
The portal that was when the the number one.
Task, that's number. One that's biggest.
Yeah, now whatever came. Yeah, I feel like what we should
be. Really worried about is that.
Whatever came through the portal.
Now cannot go back through. Maybe I can throw it into the?
Portal as an escape plan too. But you know, it's not it's.
Contingencies, contingency plans, operations.
Here it's. Just.
Things to do, you guys. Would see a line.
Of guards here, in a crowd of prisoners from your periphery,
is there seems to be a line of security cordoned off.
Yeah. Lower the creature with burgers.
In a specific. Direction.
Or you could have thrown that grenade at it.
Should you had? Discovered what it was that that
would have also been helpful if it didn't blow up in our faces.
Yeah, as soon as you touched it. Kind of make checks anyway,
thanks for playing. Guys, I'm going to go eat there,
yeah. Thanks for the touch.
See you guys next week. Yep.
Yeah, Good night. Good.
Night. Yeah, yeah.
Good times here. You, Craig?
A grand. And wonderful.
Thank you for those who took the time.
And made it here to the end of the episode where I know
sometimes we are long winded. And others.
We are just dead silent. I don't know what to tell you
this. Is RAW here folks.
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