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Yes, you, Craig. Craig.
Who invited us? Welcome back everyone to
Metagaming and our special one shot, the Elmore Kelidorian
Heist. Last time we were here our
adventurers decided to find their way to the rusty
maintenance area to garner some information.
However, in their attempts, Maddox are colossal.
Hippopotami decided to deck out a dwarf that was minding his own
business apparently, and a scuffle ensued with the town
guard finding not only that big dwarven women love big hippos,
but also Maddox is now in jail, and our adventurers are
currently back at the dog # plotting their next move.
So let's see what happens this time.
All right guys. So what we doing?
I don't know. Are we going to try and bust
this motherfucker out? Carl takes a huge shot and
something. Oh God, Carl.
When you go, go in your bag, Carl, you'd see the sending
stone you have. Oh yeah, that's right, blinking.
Yeah. Or or something.
I'll notice it after I put my like head in my hands, like, oh,
I pull it out and I click it. Thank God I got one of these,
Carl. No, this is Matt Well.
Hey Maddock, how's jail buddy over?
It's jail, so not great, but I think I've come up with a plan
over. I assume everyone can hear this
and can comment as they want. I mean I have a sending stone
too so. And I think these ones are
paired to each other. Maybe I don't remember how these
things work. I was just every game I've ever
been this. The sending stones of the party
were all just linked. Yeah.
Can we just have like a like a like the sending stones we have
be all link linked up? And can we have a sending stone
family plan? Dear God.
Is that to mean something? Oh, don't worry.
OK, the. It's the it's the guards
listening on on your conversation.
Yeah, probably. I, I, I think we had a question
for hats off a moment though. How does sending stones work for
your world? Sending stones?
Yeah, no, they can all be linked together, but that'll be
something that y'all have to sell.
Are they linked? Are they not linked?
Are they separate? It's just all how the party
describes that, how they're put together.
I think if we were a pre established team we would have
linked them up. I don't think we, I don't think
we were though. But if there's the possibility
to link it up, if there's the possibility to link it up, maybe
it's as simple as like touching the 2 stones together.
I'm not. Sure.
Yeah, I'll, I'll, I'll reach over and be like, let me add you
to my friends and family plan, Clink.
Phono disc. Wait, no other way around Phono
disc. Who does new phone?
This is Maddock. As Maddock says, he's got a plan
to escape prison somehow. What are?
You going to do lean against the wall?
I could not. Wait to hear this.
I could do that, but I don't think the idea for me is to
escape. I'm going to indenture myself to
this guard to ingratiate and enter their services to
infiltrate that way I know. You're going to do they do that?
Dwarf. Actually, they will.
Actually, hold on. Hopefully they let you out in
the next day, yeah. Oh.
Seeing as the Kellidors are my neck of the woods, friendly
reminder about that Grand Am does maintain a a foreign
legion. Good to know what.
Do you mean like a? Like, he just hires out like,
yeah, he has, like he has, like a military force comprised of
people not from the Kellidor clan.
There we go. That's how you do it.
See. So that's my plan, but you can
tell me it's the rest of your guys's.
I mean, hey, if you can somehow get in with like the guards,
great. I'm a little dubious, but I
believe in you. You're a great guy.
You've got great head on your shoulders and if you don't, you
got great muscles. So see if they know Helga.
Helga is our inside lady in security.
Good to know, I will reference that in my reference section of
my resume. Helga may be, once she realizes
who we are, might be able to put in a good word.
Oh my God. So wait, let me get this
straight. So you got with This is the
equivalent of like getting pulled over for decking a dude
in public, getting brought in and then being like, now that I
have your attention, I'd like to be a police officer.
Yeah, that's what's. Happening see, I can handle
myself. Flawless plan.
Let's do it. I mean, you can try and then
keep checking back in with us while we go about town setting
stuff up, yeah. That is my, that is my plan.
I just wanted to relay that so. I think we should make our way
if you, if you think you're good, make our way to the
location to both sneak in as maintenance workers because
we've got the pass, like the the logo and all that of the
maintenance guy and I can turn into him.
And then we go in there and scope out the scope out the
target area and you know, set, set shit up.
But we should probably buy some like I don't know, to traps like
what what do what do we need to catch this or kill this dude?
First off, we should decide are we catching or killing?
Catching means we also need to get out with him.
You hear a click from the other side of the stone too, with a
like a subsequent message turning off for security
reasons. That's nice.
Let's see the others. I mean, it would be easier to
kill him. However, if there's any chance
that after we hand him off he can cause issues for his new
captors, I'm all for that. All for killing.
We have a very easy Oh, go ahead.
Killing is better for us, but I'm just if he's alive, I kind
of hope that he's continues to cause problems once we hand him
off. I don't want to make it easy.
What do you imagine will happen when we hand him off?
I'm kind of hoping that. In in the 1st 10 minutes that he
isn't immediately walked out behind off screen and shot in
the head. We don't know if they have other
plans for him, if they're going to torture him or if they're
want to keep him alive for some reason first before they kill
him. Yeah, they really like him.
Yeah, they they said they don't care if he's dead or alive.
They'll take him either take it either way.
So they have no incentive to have him live.
If we kill him, if we don't kill him and we bring him there, then
we have to get him there. We get paid the same amount.
And they're very likely I think, and I tend to do is you could
disagree if you'd like, that he'll probably just end up in a
ditch 5 minutes later. Yeah.
What if we? Just like heavily drug him.
But the question is, how do we remove him from the castle?
That's the big question. How do we remove him from his
stronghold like a full body? How do we how do we how do we
take him from way to be sure, but like how do we not get seen
we're going to get. If he's dead, we just take a
part of him or we stuff his dead body in the the bag where he
doesn't have. To be I have a bag of devouring.
If he gets pushed in, he's dead. He's also gone.
Then we have no proof of death, so we can't do that, right?
We would have to chop something off 1st and then dump the rest
and just push ahead. Yes.
Or, or a bag of holding. Yeah, yeah.
We just put the dead body in bag holding.
Yeah, could. Simply carry him, he is not that
large. The problem is like we need to
get out. Yeah.
Quietly, we. Can't play pretty conspicuous?
Don't mind. But wait.
So wait, wait. Why?
Are we of your Lord and Savior? Yeah, and if he's dead, why are
we concerned that somebody sees us?
Because we need to not die on the way out.
That's the goal personally, right.
So it sounds like we're we're in favor of murdering this good,
albeit all all all those concerns say he's a good guy.
I mean if my life is. Forfeit.
If I don't do this then I'm doing this so right.
Not happy about it, but I'm doing this.
That's fair. We'll get our money and we'll
never talk about it again. What is the?
Value except to get free drinks. I don't remember.
We got paid a gobsmack. And like magic.
Is this when the unconscious guy tied up in the corner starts to
wake up? That's exactly what I'm about to
find out for you guys. All right, so the other plan is
we're I'm going to impersonate this guy.
Whoa, he's. Awake now he's awake now he's
he's listening in. I'm knocking him out again.
Do I? Yeah, I'll notice immediately.
Where? Where am I?
What? No, no, no, Rick.
He very much has a rod of holding, not a rod of holding.
A movable rod wedged between his teeth like a bit.
Oh, well, you didn't tell you you you did not say that.
So that's why that's it. Oh.
I did stay down, boy. Yeah, you hear?
You hear him grumbling. Hats off.
Is that the rod that cannot be moved in space?
Yes. Fantastic.
Wall by 5 of them, one for each arm and one in his mouth.
Jesus, what did you do? He's spread eagle on the wall
with 504 immovable rods. You use like a a good chunk of
your like magic items on a movable rod.
That's the the freedom of my all calm.
Almost like 10 of my 15 uncommon items are unmovable rods.
That's such good quality. That's perfect.
I'm hoping I don't have to use some of mine.
Are they one use only? I thought they were no.
Oh, they are reusable. OK, my my, like my my horde of
high tier magic items. I've got a few that I just I'm
hoping I don't we don't need to use but like we do I got them.
That just in case. I guess are you concerned
because they're consumable? No, because they'll alert
everything in this castle immediately.
Hal's just a prepper. I I'm wearing like 6 amulets
currently or like like no wait, I have 3 or 4 amulets on me.
They are master's amulets. So I've got 3-3 or four like
iron goliaths or golems stored in a portable hole right now.
How will they alert? Just by the nature of how they
function? Or do some signal go off?
I'll have to get them out like I'll have to like, you know,
unfold fold the hole so they can get out.
But if we're in a private room, when you do so.
In a private. Room.
Private room. I mean, no, they would, they
would definitely just like be there.
But what would you use them for if they're big and giant and
they hit things? There was the ocean.
That's the. Shit has hit the fan, we need to
get out. Oh, OK.
So it's just one bunch of it's copies of the same thing.
It's not a bunch of different things.
Correct. I see OK, same as these like
same as these like rods. OK.
Anyway. So is he still awake or did we
knock him out? He's still awake.
So once you want. You got a punch, you got at
least roll the hit him to knock him out.
Rick, dudes immobilized. You're gonna really make me just
sit here and roll. No, no, I do like.
I do like my dice though. Are you playing Detwent or
Sorry? If you're playing, roll D&D.
If you're not rolling. Words are hard.
Yes, yes, definitive. So is he out?
Yep, he's out. Got him.
OK. So we're probably also going to
want to talk to some of our inside people, Yep, so that they
know what we're up to and we can actually use them.
Who are the inside people that we know of?
Inside Contacts, it's one of the PDFs.
We have a pickpocket distractor, we have someone on the security
team. We have an Alchemy specialist
that has access to the kitchen. That's awesome, that.
That that list is from Sure Gull, I'm guessing.
Yep, that is y'all's list from Sure Gull.
Feel like we should braid the. Kitchen while we're here, see.
What kind of snackies they have? Just saying.
While she was going down. So maybe the alchemy specialist
can drug the guards to the bathhouse or get them drunk or
something. Or like set off a bomb.
We have the distractor person for that.
Or. Alchemy person can make the
bomb. So we get oh OK, so we get in
maybe by having the distractor guy or the alchemy guy, probably
the distracted guy break something with plumbing.
We come in as mechanics, then alchemist guy lures the The
Alchemist and the inside person at security lures in the rest of
the guards with our friend to a secluded area.
We knock them all out. We replace all of the guards
with ourselves. OK.
We're now his personal guard. Thoughts.
I don't look like a dwarf. Oh yeah, true.
I don't not many of us are actually going to be able to
impersonate. That's true.
So we just need to find a place to what like hole up or or do we
try to target him before the gala?
I said we just walk in as Gallic crew and I don't have to go in
as Gallic crew, go in as like Gallic guests.
We got invitations and we just like sneak around inside the
place and find wherever he's at, like.
Yeah, but we can't get in into the gala beforehand.
We can't get in there before the gala.
He's basically not with those invitations.
Him up somewhere? Why don't you get in beforehand?
We just grab him and go. He's an old windbag.
No, that's what I'm saying before.
We can't use the gala tickets until the gala, when he's going
to be all eyes on on on him. Unless we show up like way too
early. Like the worst guests ever.
You're telling me that you're telling me that this 2000 year
old man isn't going to like just show up and nod his head, say
like a few words to the crowd and then disappear to a private
room somewhere? Sure, but he's going to be
guarded a lot more during the gala then.
Better where I think. But to the.
Same degree Gala was a weakness in security because there's a
lot going on. Got it.
I think that's the whole point, that the gala date was chosen
because it's more chaotic than the controlled environment that
he's typically guarding. People like you and me to be
there. Yeah.
But would we be able? We can't.
So that if we do that, we can't get in before the gala if we
don't use the like mechanic, guys.
Why would we need to get in beforehand?
GOP it out just. GOP out.
OK, we could have some of. Us.
Otherwise, what did we do beforehand?
Some of us go anybody in the party.
Sneaky. Yeah, me.
Anybody good at doing the? I can do the sneaks.
Does anybody have a good charisma and be sneaky just in
case they get caught? Yes, that is my character.
Yeah. Then we send one person in to do
some reconnaissance beforehand, and the rest of us find food or
drinks or both. But so then, what else are we
doing in preparation? We should be setting up some
sort of escape plan. We should be setting up a method
to kill. Him, I think.
He's got himself. Covered something a hippo friend
would be real good at. True, but like.
Is the hippo friend not helping us at all?
I think he, well, he's trying to infiltrate the security team.
From jail, that's. What he's trying to do?
Yeah, apparently. Well, let's.
Do his thing, see how that goes. Yeah, if we want to shift to
that because we're on. This side, yeah, because that'll
definitely have to happen before the gala, right?
Because like right now, what is the side team or I guess the
main team's like means methods and goal for right now.
Like we can get in to scope it out, but we need to set up how
are we going to kill him? How are we going to get an
escape, right? And we got to set this stuff up.
So we should find ORSIC. Any of you good at talking to
people? Ask Carl.
I think it would be a good idea to see where he likes to hang
it, like if he has any like private chambers near where the
the gala is going to behold the hell that they might be keeping
him in before they put him out on display.
Man, that old just going to be whoop.
They're going to wheel him out, let him wave, and then they're
going to wheel him back. Perhaps me and the Kutsune could
go in all sneaky like, scope it out, but then we need an escape
route from the outside of the keep.
We'll find one from the inside of the keep to the outside, but
then we still need a means and method to kill the guy.
I say we track down Orzic before we sneak in so he can help us
sneak in. We.
Have a. How hard?
How hard is this guy going to be to kill?
Are you anticipating a struggle? It's his guards we're worried
about. Yeah.
He's also. Old.
But how is he still alive in that old?
There's something else going on with him.
Dwarfs. How old do dwarfs typically live
too? Oh yeah.
Like 100 dwarf. Is probably like 800, like
really old like really. Old, and he's 2000.
Yeah. Yeah, there's something else
going on with them guys. He's not just an old man.
According to according well, that's, you know, according to
legend, he's that old. I believe it, but my hesitation
is why? Why is he still alive?
How? There's something else here.
Right. Yeah.
Perhaps someone should do a study of history somewhere.
I have 1/2 on history +6. Our tan is going to go rent
horses and devise an escape route.
OK. Does anyone have a better go
ahead? Like I was thinking like, find a
place outside the city where we can grab the horses and then
just book it and then like devise a way.
Out with a dead body. We only need part of them, and
technically we're not. We can't flee the city before we
drop off Proof, right? We have to come back to the inn.
A dead body, A bag of holding. Sure, but we can't just flee,
right? We have to meet back at the inn
to show proof of life. Can you put a live body in the
bag of holding? For a short time.
For 10 minutes and then they die.
Maybe that's how we kill them. Yeah, we can either do that or
yeah, we have a lot of options. He can try to escape from there,
though. I mean, he's a feeble old man,
but he's also lived to. Be T drug him.
But we need drugs then. I mean, every city has some CD
folks that are willing to sell you some drugs.
Gotta find one. Maybe team outside, find shady
folk, buy some drugs, freeze. Our guy gets an escape route and
then team inside scopes it out, tries to find like where he's
going to be vulnerable. Have we?
Have we established he's on what teams?
Harlan Emiko are inside team yes.
Whoever's sneaky can be inside team or if has useful skills for
like. Pond can be sneaky, I don't
encourage it. I'm very noticeable and very
cute and the opposite of sneaky. I'm not there, but you can
assume I'm not sneaky. Yeah, I'm a good distraction.
I'm an excellent distractor. Now our tank can be a
distraction 100%. Yeah, yeah, does the sneaky.
Team Yeah. Does the Sneaky team need a
distraction? We might want a legitimate
reason for being there if we get caught.
Yeah, Oh. I can't help you with that.
I mean I can be the maintenance dude so I could lie to get us
in, but if the inside distraction guy I have no idea
how we contact them could break something that requires
maintenance. You want to swell?
That is. Vela hats hats off for you guys
all your inside people work in those specific areas.
Hats. Metal.
So Vela the the distraction person works in the trade area
in the merchant booths do. You want to.
OK. So they don't don't actually
work in the in the castle. No, no, no.
Got it. However, Dragon is that, am I
saying that right? Dragon Flintax, He has the keys,
maybe he could break something. He's got access to everything.
You wanna you wanna flip over to Med X to see?
I don't know exactly what your plan was written.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna flip.
Yeah, if I say I'm gonna flip myself over here to the Med.
X 'cause I don't know timeline wise if he's if, if, if we're,
if I'm staying overnight and these guys haven't slept, then
I'm probably just sitting in jail.
Or if you had in mind, 'cause I think where we left it was I
spoke with the magistrate, he asked for me to be healed up and
then he was going to speak to me again once I was healed.
Yes, the healer that you got sent was not the you could say
it was his first day on job. Yeah, I got a Band-Aid for my
hole in my gut. All right, so as the day kind of
goes on for you, Maddox, as you're sitting in the cell, you,
I kind of like kind of short stocky little gnome comes up to
your cell and you start seeing as he's just kind of sitting
there looking at you. His hands are kind of making
gestures at you. But he's not speaking.
No, unfortunately he is not speaking.
Do do you want something small one?
He looks back to you and starts moving his hands around his
mouth. And, you know, like that.
For your reference, I think we all took Yeah Common Sign
language as one of our languages.
Is he? Is that what he's doing?
Yes he is. Yes, he is.
OK, what? What is he?
What? What do I catch?
I guess so he he, so he, so it looks like he's kind of like has
his back towards the guy at the desk, but he's signing to you.
What are you doing here? You're supposed to be on the
job. Sign back.
I am on the job. He signs back.
You're doing a shitty job. It's all a matter of, it's all a
matter of perspective, little man, I say out loud.
And then I kind of just say with common sign language, looking
for an inn with the guards. He's he signs back.
That's me, dummy. Perfect.
Will you stand my case for the judge or the magistrate?
He signs back, already greasing the wheels to get you out.
Perfect. He signs over back to you.
Stop making noise. I just hold like I I hold like
my breath even and I'm in gonna stop moving altogether.
And the the the master's secretary kind of looks over at
him. Ruic, leave that man alone,
Flash the elf. I mean, no, you're not the elf.
Blasted gnome. Get the old elf out here and you
kind of see him gesture at the secretary.
Bite me. Get him.
Get him Daddy. Does does she respond or just
keep waving him away? Oh, he, he's like, that's not
what your mom said last night to me and still.
Holding my breath, but I probably joke on it at that.
And and Rubric walks away from you.
I go to like, I guess I go to the bars and ask the secretary,
do you know when the magistrate will be letting me back before
him? Hi I he should be got about two
more dockets ahead of you but. This next one that's coming in,
you might want to turn your head.
She's kind of a a weird case and she doesn't like people looking
at her as she walks in the in the halls.
She is she's weird, crazy foxes As he mutters on keeps writing,
but pretty much not a few minutes later, you see two
dwarves walking forward, kind of like eyes.
Kind of like eyes covered while they're pulling on a set of
chains. And then they just give you the
look of turn around as they start walking past, as you hear
the lightest of kind of like footsteps walking behind them
and a feminine voice instructing them to go hurry up.
OK, I I keep listening with my back turned I guess.
And you hear it like I said it. Her voice is like silk.
She's basically, in all all his words, paying attention to the
magistrate. Magistrate.
Unfortunately you can't see, but he has.
He has so has his eyes head down.
Lady Kiyomi, what a pleasure. I know and as what have you
brought me today? Oh, just a little bit of trash.
We can't have it filth in the cities.
I I've the message all ready for you.
And she thanks him and kind of out of the corner of her eyes
she catches you. What's the big fellow in for?
He looks interesting. Oh, nothing to concern yourself
with. He's just a a rowdy man, that's
all. I see with my back still turned
kind of grumbling, but her fox ears would probably pick it up
of saying. He slept with my wife.
She kind of. You hear a slight little chuckle
come out from her magistrate. You behave in there, big boy.
I'd hate to be the one have to chase you and she walks her way
into the magic off you hear the doors close behind and the
secretary just go. I'd I'd, I grumble over to the
secretary. Can I turn around?
Ah yeah, yeah, yes. She never comes back the same
way. Gosh, be praised.
I turn back around and and and say is he part of a special
battalion of the Guards or something?
All I know is whenever she comes in, she has a, she has
authorities that I don't even know the full extent of that.
She comes in, she says this, and then I go, yes, ma'am.
And then she sees the master automatically.
So it's more of a lady friend in the for the magistrate then I
got it. He's not the.
Is that if that old dwarf could be that lucky?
Or if he is, I'm the jealous type, I promise because I'm not
going. To lie, and he kind of lowers
his voice down. I snuck a peek one time.
Let me tell you, I don't. You talking about that one
doesn't even have a beard? Fine woman, but no, nothing
whisker. I agree with that guard over
there. He's never got to see, never
see. My wife has a long flowing beard
down to her knees. I couldn't be happier.
And we wonder sometimes if it's not your cousin.
Just because she being a cousin doesn't mean squat.
We're all one clan here, yet you're my cousin.
I and heard my cousin's second twice removed, but I don't care
when you can appreciate the exotic.
It's all well and good. Not saying I would not find me a
fine dwarven woman, but you know one can appreciate.
I digress. You just have your taste.
Aye, aye, aye, but yes lad, that that one there, she has a way
about her. Don't be going and crossing her
right? Back.
I wasn't. I wasn't.
Planning wasn't planning on it, I was just hoping to speak with
the magistrate soon and could hopefully fix this wound up
proper. And I point to the gunshot wound
with like band bandages and I probably probably got a little
bit of blood still dripping out of it, but it's mostly stopped,
I would guess, is what we said. Yeah, yeah, about that.
Yeah, I apologize for the new. Well, he's 1 of initiate, not
really a full cleric yet. Yeah, I mean, the boy is good.
It's not quite there yet. Yeah.
So I've noticed it seems like the guards could as a whole use
a little bit of training. I could.
I could help with that. Actually.
I've got quite, quite the rap sheet for military service.
Looking to be conscripted, I see.
I well, luckily for you, you met the the, the quiet one, one of
Helga's little I said company mates to be.
Nice way of saying it. Yes.
Ruerke's a good lad. He doesn't talk much.
Don't know why but you know he likes to use his hands a lot.
Dorf tongue is a little hard for that small gnomish head.
Nah, I think he does it 'cause he's nice, but you know.
But yes, as soon as as soon as I get the the way from the inside
door, you're next. Oh, OK, I'll, I'll sit here
patiently, I guess. When it's time, I'll I'll send
Rurik to send you in. OK.
God for knows that Gnome do anything I.
Go sit down sullenly and send back, still waiting, the rest of
the crew. About I say it, it feels like
maybe 30 minutes at best you hear a slight little a squeal
you hear like a slight little squeal come from the other sides
of the the doors and then. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
All right, I'll, I'll get I'll get him.
I'll get the secretary. Rick, Rick, come here, Blad,
come here. Take the big one in.
Also tell them. Over there to get get a mop.
I just, I don't say anything, but I stand up and put my back
to the back to the bars and my hands behind my back, like ready
to be cuffed kind of thing. Ruer comes over and he taps on
your hands, kind of like a writing in your hand.
OK. All right, don't mess this up.
Be apologetic and I'll get you out after.
Never apologize. And then he puts the the
bindings on your hands and then opens the door and brings you
inside of the magistrate's office.
Walkie, walkie, walkie. Oh damn, I forgot the the alt
button. There we go.
There we are. Oh, he's.
Got a? Big office, no chairs though.
Yeah, no, no chairs. So around you, So around you
sits 9 dwarves, with one sitting at the apex of the area.
All 8 on the sides are scribbling furiously and as
you're walking in there is a fresh red stain on the floor.
I walk in with my my my shoulders back and my head high,
but my hands behind my back and otherwise besides, besides the
kind of like proud posture I'm marching with kind of a military
step to me. All right, all right, This is,
I'm too tired for this shit docket.
What's his name? Maddox.
Are you Maddox? I, your honor.
I'm Magistrate Garza. All right.
You're charged with disorderly conduct every every stinking
time this event happens. All right, lad, here, Here's the
deal. If you promise to behave.
And no more disorderliness in our city.
I'll slap you with a fine and let you on your way, but you'll
have to obviously give apologies to the city in front of the
court and then pay your fine. You're fine being first offence
you'll keep the flat. I'll say you're fine be sitting
at the 100 gold. My eyes kind of bulge, but I say
nothing and nod. But then I follow that up with
quickly. This is I understand and I
apologize for breaking the peace, but Joanna, may I
approach the bench? I I approach just decorate no.
My hands are behind my back, I'm cuffed.
So I, I presumably too, it's, it's like a smaller thing than
he is because he's like freaking 8 foot tall.
So he, he, I don't know if he'd have to kneel down, but he gets
down as low as he can and kind of whispers to the magistrate
and says. I'm I am very sorry.
I would also like to point out your gods are lacking and I have
the training to improve them. My time suggest lowering the
fine and incorporating me into some training.
With your gods. So what I'm hearing is you break
law. Unfortunately, you you, you
don't have the coin and you'd like some community.
Service is what I'm hearing I. Have the coin, but it is for my
family and I would hate to do that to them, Your Honor.
All right, here's what I'll do. He looks down at the little
gnome. Rubric.
Rick, this ladder here is now in your charge.
He must complete. Let's see here what is an
appropriate amount of community service he must complete. 9 days
of community service with you shouldn't be too hot for you.
Genuinely given an hours with 30 hours is pretty typical.
Just just for funsies. Good to know.
That is. Don't ask me how I know.
That's for the after hours, the yes you're on AI.
Look to Rubik to see if he agrees.
He, he, he, he look, he, he he twiddles his fingers.
OK, alright, that's getting off easy.
Take the damn deal. He he, he's signing, I'm
guessing. Yes.
OK. Yeah.
Yes, yes you are not. And then the the master looks
down. Rook, I keep telling you, quit
fidgeting in my damn courtroom. Jesus.
Just nod your head like normal. Jesus.
All right, Who are we done for the day?
And is there anyone else? I feel like I'm done.
Rook, he's yours. Get him out of my.
Courtroom. Presumably Rick marches me out,
I guess and. Oh, yeah, he, oh, yeah, he did.
He he's he, he, he great. As for a little itty bitty guy.
And you kind of like lean down the way you are.
When his hand grabs a hold of you, you feel a little bit of
force as he's pulling back. And then it's a get.
Come on, let's go. I I follow him very as much as
possible without tripping over myself.
And once y'all are outside, not a second, we're holding on a
second. No, I think that was background.
Yeah, calling you loud. Once y'all are outside, Ruik
starts signing in a very fast and furious manner.
OK, what happened? You were supposed to find us and
we start working on a plan. What happened?
I hold up one finger without any other signs, and then I sign.
I, I sign back. Who's us?
He he kind of takes a deep, exaggerated sigh.
The rest of the guys meant for the job don't.
And then he continues to sign. Don't worry, most of these
dwarves can't understand me, so you're safe.
I I turn, I turn my arm slightly just so that he can see and no
one else around and I point to the gold bar and place and in my
my arm and I raise an eyebrow waiting for him to do the same.
Yeah, and then he kind of pulls up his wristband and he pulls it
up a little bit. Uh huh.
OK, all right. I this sure goal never told us
there were more. He gave us.
A list. He gave us a list and told us to
do a job. I don't think we got to your
list. I'm I'm signing back still but.
He he signs back. Is everyone on your team
illiterate? No, I just say I am the only
illiterate 1 I think. He signs back.
Do you know what that means? It's something to do with being
sick, I think, in the head, he faced.
Palms. Yes, that's what that means.
Great. Where are you based?
A sign. Dog pound I I I probably do it
poorly too. I just make like a little dog
out of my hands and then. Then pound it.
He he responds back. Let's go.
We should be able to be able to discuss the plan, hopefully.
OK, so we go back to the dog pound, I guess.
And by this time, it's about late evening.
I think I've got an idea if we can have sent off some letters
for preparation, unless we're still splitting off and doing
the. That will be up to you guys.
OK, that's good. I mean, I think we need to talk
to our other inside contacts. Yeah, I hear.
Here's what I was thinking based off the inside contacts we have.
So First off the the maintenance guy I look at the badge that we
have is this or is this Wait Ying grin pole shadow that we
have knocked out and stolen. Not because Ying Grin is a
friend. Right, that's the good question,
because we just decked a dude so.
You're one, they got the ones that y'all are the.
One that we've repeatedly, like, kicked in the face.
Yeah, a few times, yeah. Shut up, shut up.
Because wait, let me just no, shut up.
When he wakes up, we should ask him his name.
What we have is like badge and stuff, right?
Yeah, yeah. So you're not holding cold
shadow? OK, Good, good, good, good.
Thank God. Wait, who's that?
Oh, Orzek. OK, no, that's Shadow.
Who's what? Oh.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, you don't.
You don't have him, no. Do we have Orzek?
Yeah. I I'm holding this huge binder
of information guys, we should have read this.
So this dwarf, yeah, you you read the the the name tag Oric.
We have or wait oric or orzic? Orzic.
We have orzic bullshit. Well, wait, hold on.
We've Orzic Shadow Cloak assigned to.
So who is Yingrin Cole Shadows? He's like the head guy.
She is the head lady, yes. So we did knock out our ally and
then get sent to prison. Fuck yes we are doing so good.
The best. I'd like to hit the redo button.
We know we're no rum rollers, but we're doing our best.
Only achieved assaulting our own team member and getting
arrested. I've never had so much like
content available to me for a campaign.
Normally I like we just get information as it comes, you
know? Yeah, you like sluice through.
Yeah. So this dude, we need to stop
punching him out. Yeah.
Maybe get him a glass of ice water, a bag of ice, some peas.
I was thinking, what if we what if we poison because we have a
guy on the in or a lady on the inside of the kitchens?
Your alchemy, the gala, he's this, this the the old dude
Grand Am. He's an old guy, right?
He's not going to be able to hold his bladder very long, so
he's going to have a private bathroom somewhere.
If we poison him, not to knock him out, but to give him the
shits, diarrhea, full blown, both ends type of thing.
Maybe not both ends. He'll be carted off to his
special bathroom. We also have a person of scrolls
and invitation keepers. We could use them to replace the
like the the bathroom location on everyone's card except for
his to a different location. So that like everyone thinks,
oh, he's, he's at location A while he's at actually at
location B. His private bathroom.
Probably always his private bathroom.
That's true. Well, I mean.
There, he's gonna have. To find his private bathroom.
Yes, we should definitely scope out the castle before.
OK so basically I wanna know diarrhea the entire gala turn it
into a slip and slide of. Misadventure.
OK, so we're, we're making a lot of assumptions about what's
going to happen. I think we need to get inside,
find some sort of schedule about what is going to actually happen
so that we can plan around known variables.
I agree, that's probably smart. Mute, silent muscle, poison and
alchemy. So we need so we need to get in
and I point at this dude. We've got the guy who can get us
in. So, so great job team.
And then maybe maybe we talked to Helga for security so she can
vouch for us as maintenance people or something if we get
caught. Right.
Basically, if you get caught, I want to have a reason for being
there and someone inside to back up that reason.
That's true, but they'll wouldn't they send us to them
kind of like what they did with our good friend?
What? Do you mean?
Like she's in charge of like security there.
So if we get arrested, we're going to be brought straight to
them her. Yeah, so I want her to know
ahead of time that we're going to be sneaking around and
pretending to be maintenance if we get caught.
Got it. So she knows how to respond.
So we could text Matic. I got it.
Nailed it. We can text Matic and tell him
to tell Helga that we're going in and be prepared for potential
kerfuffle as we scope things out.
Maybe not kerfuffle, but be prepared to back us as
identified maintenance crew. Yeah.
So we're going to use her as a credential.
Yes. Yeah, so and so sent us.
We're maintenance people. And how they knows about us.
Right. I can look like a generic dwarf.
You'll just be a kitsune. Yeah.
I'll be your helper. Well, no, I technically I've
been hiding my Fox features since we've been out in public.
Oh, that's right, you were looking like a child dwarf.
Yeah, yeah, I. Know what I said earlier, but I
do you. You what?
I know what I said earlier, but I too can look like a dwarf.
Oh, OK, what about the last member of our team?
Because then we could all just go our dog friend Sarge or
Huxtable. Well, technically I wanted to
sneak first so we could see things that we might not
otherwise see, but then if we get caught then we have a
backup. I think getting through the
threshold may require pretending to be maintenance and then we go
stealth. OK.
'Cause I don't know otherwise how to get in.
Yeah, we also need a maintenance reason for why we would be
walking around in lots of different rooms.
Right. A plumbing leak might be a good
one. True.
That we have to investigate lots of different walls.
Yeah, by this time, Maddock, you and Rubric have made your way to
the dog pound. I greet Boton with just a wave
and point in the direction of where we'd had our room before
with like a questioning. He he greets you very warmly and
says, ah, yes, yes, yes, yes. Your friends be in the backroom,
must been there for quite a minute.
Ask them if they need ale, drink, food.
I walk I I walk up to the bar and place down a single gold and
say bring enough for everyone and walk towards the room.
All right, when you make it to the room, Maddock.
Nope. As soon as the door closes, Ruik
is already going fast, hand gesturings pointing to the dwarf
hanging on the wall, and it amounts to basically what the
fuck are you doing? I, I, I wave him like I'm not
even looking at his hands. I'm just waving him to the kind
of like for a moment and I, I, I look at the companions that I
assume all have weapons raised as I walk in, not knowing that
I'm out yet because. Carl.
And I them seeing me pretty evidently taking up most of the
doorway, I say I found a contact of ours.
I hold up the binder from this thing.
We found one too. Well, you found 1.
And I point to the guy who's I I assume since we found out he's
not an enemy we've discharged him from.
The wall reclaimed my rods, certainly.
And I didn't give him. Like a bag of ice.
Could see the gnome through the doorway with me standing in it,
so at that point I kind of turned out turned to the side.
Or step far enough in that he can get around me and continue
to change. Ruvick.
Ruvick, I think he said his name was.
Rick. He starts moving his hands in
gesture, pointing to the wall, pointing at all of you and for
all those you know that you say you took the ASL of the world.
He is cursing y'all out to no ends Gate right now.
Is hey, he can do that. Uh, Urchin is going to say what
is the little one struggling? Is he a mute?
Hold up. The binder says he's silent
muscle, also known as the mute. Yeah, Big bold letters.
At urchin he he's at urchin he signs nada.
Ertane does not understand what he just signed because ertane
did not take. The only one.
Yeah, we talked about at the beginning, but.
Yeah, that can happen. Yeah, but it's not in
characters. I didn't do it.
Fair enough, I would have done enough jobs with Carl to
probably see the use of it and learned enough.
Probably is true erton has a very I thought they buy you.
A car. Marrow View of the World.
Yeah, there, she's got money. So now we've got muscle and
maintenance. Should we collect the others?
Should we just do a montage where we go collect the others?
Well, I was just going to go, could we just separate and go
into each one if we need one? I don't I don't know how many of
them we need. I look at.
Ruwick and say was this part of
the job? The shore girl did not tell us
anything. He just said our lives are
forfeit. Do this job basically.
Ruwick start signing to you. The point was to link up, get a
plan together. Once the plan is hammered, then
on the evening of the gala we would make all things happen so
that you can secure. But he also starts signing.
But I don't think that any points to the dwarf.
He will be very amenable to help now.
I don't know about that. Carl's pretty persuasive.
Here's. What we're going.
To do he signs back you do you see what they did to him, but.
He doesn't remember that. Here's what we're going to do.
We're going to build another apartment inside of this
apartment. We're going to put him in.
I'm going to look like a guard, beat the fuck out of him again
and you guys are going to break in and save him.
But he's seen all of our faces. Shit new plan, we kill him.
No. Oh.
You remember.
That I say We apologize. Where you just where you just
made friends with somebody else and they hated us.
They were literally like our mortal enemy.
Why don't you do that? I made friends like him.
Charm person. I don't know, is that what you
did? I mean to get us out of a tight
spot, but it wouldn't like work long term.
He'll remember in a minute that knows that I also charmed to
forget. I, I turned to the guy because
presumably he's not bound it sounds like and he's not being
kept there and say I apologize. I I I apologize for myself and
my friends, and you forgive ever forgive us.
Wait, is he awake? Let let let lads.
He's Oh yeah, he he's nursing. He's he's currently in the
corner. I was outside waiting for, you
know, a little, a little queue, a little this No, I get a big
whopping hippo hitting me and then.
This man hits me and then he gags me.
Yeah. Yeah.
That and then he looks down at he looks down at Ruwick.
Ruwick. What the hell of the 9 Hells is
going on? You're so sorry they did not act
with party approval. I was thinking it was the lady
who was scoping out my place. You know, maybe you were the one
I was supposed to be waiting for.
So I sat there and waited and then bam.
Yeah, so I was scoping out the place and they had this idea
that they wanted your armband, and so they just went for it and
we're so sorry. What's so damn special about my
armband? As a disguise.
How much are are you still willing to help us?
I. Apologize.
Give me a persuasion role. If this is going badly, he's
going to intimidation. Just saying.
No. OK, and the code absent because
she sees the the the hostility prickling so you don't have to
interact with. For that, for that, just for the
conversation we were already having, I'm assuming.
Before guitar, so I'm going to jump in if it comes.
To OK you you fit along nicely with the gnome I I don't need
Someone Like You doing the things that I have to do.
Yeah, I'm, I'm not very subtle. No, you think.
No, I don't think it's not my my job description.
That's what I have Carl for. Carl.
Aye, so you have muscles, but do you got brains in this merry
band? Oh, we weren't really
technically told there were other people.
We were given this huge binder and then told we had like a day
to finish. We we were told that there were
contacts within the binder. Well.
Yes. Fuck me, right?
Well hats off IRL I didn't realize we actually had the
binder. Also we, I don't think we had
this information physically hats off.
So I think that's just we're role-playing it at this point
that we forgot. Yeah, yeah, we're, we're
bringing. Yeah, yeah.
Like our characters have the binder, but I didn't realize
that we IRL had the binder. Yeah, the binder for y'all In
character. Y'all had the binder in real
life. The binder was made after.
OK, got it. Got it, Got it.
It only just arrived. Or is it if if you don't want to
interact with any of the muscle, you don't got to?
Carl and I, we are the ones that would be sneaking around with
you anyway, so you'll have to look at them if you don't want
to. All right, let's say you you
win. Give me a persuasion roll.
Yeah. OK.
OK, OK. Got it.
Yeah, that. Would have been wasted on me.
OK, persuasion, Persuasion. I have the circle around a
circle. What does that mean?
That's probably means expertise. OK.
Means you fancy. Oh yeah, finally someone that
speaks common sense. All right, so it's just you and
the small one right there, right?
The big fellas, they can go bugger off, right?
Yeah, they can go bugger off. Bugger off and do errands.
So you in. As as I pull out of immovable
rod, no I don't carrying on with life.
He's not going to jeopardize anything.
He goes someone with a little bit of muscles and another one
with muscles. Ruik.
You've been blessed, lad. And Ruik.
Signs back to him. Fuck.
That's off. Who's Ruwick again?
The small gnome. That's in the room with you
guys. And he's from.
He entered. The prison, OK, Yeah, OK.
And I said that he was one of our other contacts.
OK, sorry. Continue.
All right, so I don't know me need much to help me get there.
All the the passage and all those doors ready.
Are any of you handy with, you know, MMM, how do I say it?
MMM persuading people to, you know, if you owe them a little
bit of a favor and they kind of will do a little something for
you, you know, intimidating them, not so much intimidating.
Do you do you got the the funds? The grease and wheels is what
I'm asking you. Oh I have 500 gold because I
never bought or anything. All right, all right.
Speaking of. Here's what I need.
Here's what I need you to do, then.
All right. And there are some vendors that
have specialty things we'll need for to set this all off.
All I need, and all you'll probably need is just to have
someone go barter, maybe do a few favors while me and the last
year. Scope out anything and
everything required. Make sure your exit strategy is
all good. If not, we might have to go and
get some funds from either. I hate asking, but Marla might
have to help us. A bag of gold.
Yeah, I was going to say, I think we all started with gold.
I don't know if anybody else used all their gold, but I had I
I started with 500. But I've been buying everybody's
drinks and food, which is what I was mumbling about.
Where is our drinks and food? There we go, That's what I'm
talking about. And as he's saying that, you
hear a knock at the door, and then another knock, and then
another knock. I get it.
I go get the door. Like I go I I go happily over
the door, probably stomping to the point where it's obnoxious
to everybody else, but it's like an excited, like popping.
Yeah, you you see Bow Tan's cousin and he's just head first
with tracing hand. Hannah.
Hannah and he is like full on drinks in one hand platters in
the other hand with food and drink for you for.
Me. I I make way for him to come
into the room and set everything down.
Emiko weaves around whatever she needs to to be first in line.
He sets it, he sets everything down and just kind of gives
y'all once he's done. Like derpy dog eyes.
I I I throw him a copper. And he kind of bobbles his head
and walked right back out the door and the way he came.
Yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm losing funds rapidly for all of our.
All of our. Eating.
But just so everyone knows who? X man or.
Star Huxtable tosses in the gold.
Me. Yeah.
Oh, OK, you said him so I wasn't sure.
Oh thank you, that should cover the first days.
I have a question for the GM. Yes.
What is the dexterity of a Kitchenaise Tails?
Can they hold things? You would have to take.
The feet. Clever tail for that.
What level is that? It's a feat.
You would take feats at 4:00 and 8:00.
OK, there was no builder for a Kitchenaise specifically.
I had to. Use an elf.
Yeah, but what did you take? Your ability score and your
feats. I would have just because I
built it as an ELF, so I would have left anything on the table,
yeah. Yeah.
Then what feats did you take? Let.
Me look is it features and traits?
It's been our features and traits.
It had been features and traits. OK, I don't know what is a feat
in this list. As I'm scrolling it would be.
I see the names of the abilities, but I don't know
which ones is, which ones are feet and which ones not.
Scroll to the bottom. Yeah.
Study, aim. Fast hands.
Are those feats? Yes, study hands and study hand
study, study aim and fast hands are feats.
OK. Yeah, so for your hands.
I got hands. Yeah.
So no, you wouldn't have that particular fee because you used
both your feets already. OK, well I just wanted to do it
as like a flavor thing where she's balancing plates with her
tails. All right, give me a Oh, bye,
Olivia. Oh, bye.
Yeah, give me a acrobatics check, OK?
29. Oh yeah, you easily slide your
tail and the plate to yourself easily enough.
No. So I think she has kids.
News. Max Tails is 9 right?
Or is it 7? Let's see, at this level you
should have. You have 5 tails.
Double check real quick says Here we go, Tails.
Start with one. Every odd level you'll gain a
tail. SO1357.
Yeah, 5. Yeah, OK, so she has 5 little
sampler plates balanced on her tails as she finishes, you know,
serving herself and finds a seat very sensitive.
Not one big plate. She intentionally got 5 tiny
plates. They're free.
The samplers are free. They don't limit you in how many
sampler plates you can take. They're they're lost.
I'm just following the rules. All right, So what are we doing
guys? Digging in sounds like and.
Then digging in for food. Yeah, and then moving on and
hopefully this moving on smooths over any hurt nerves paying for
a meal. All right.
For the guy, that's a what heals.
All. Or tan, what are you doing?
Sitting in the corner menacingly.
I can't hear. I was muted, yes, meditating in
the corner. Meditating in the corner.
He's not right. All righty, Let's see here.
So this day, now that y'all are all back together, this day will
now officially be over. How many days did we have?
3. 3. OK it.
Was great first day, guys, great first day.
Day was that day. That was day one or day 2.
Day one. OK, day one getting in and out
of trouble. They're in back again and.
We've. Collected these guys.
We've tested their defenses. They're pretty strong.
Oh yeah, You see how fast they responded?
Geez, all I did was punch a guy. Right.
And that's in just as like the street, not even in the castle.
Exactly. We, we, we know what to expect.
Great. That means we'll have a great
plan together, right? And I don't know how we'll be
able to flee in the streets if there's that many guards that
can descend. We might have to sneak out.
Right. Believe that's what.
Teleportation magic. What was that?
Are any of you capable of teleportation magic?
Nope, I. Don't think so I.
Think we need to go find and I take the, take the binder from
Carl and point at at at. Probably the wrong name, even
the. Guy that can find just the exit,
That's this guy. That's this guy.
We've got that guy. That's the guy you punched out.
That's dull. OK, so yeah, get we, get him we.
Got him, sorry about. That again, you want to take,
you want to take, you want to, you want to take, take him out
and find those exits that we need.
Yeah, so tomorrow. Not no, not kill, No, sorry.
Take him out. Tomorrow should be sneaky crew
scoping out the castle. All right.
And then. Muscle crew doing.
Errands. What are errands?
What are the errands? Didn't sneaky guys we.
Still don't have items to get? Yeah, so I think we ate, we'd
eat and then be able to, you know, talk to him and and in the
midst of that and say what is. What errands?
What errands did you have in mind?
Yeah, because didn't he mention special items?
Yeah, yes, he just to get. Yes, he did.
All right, All right, So for us to thoroughly watch your backs
and make sure you're not noticed while we're trying to get
things, you, you know, as the saying goes, we want you to look
at the right hand while the left hand does something.
And this is what we're wanting. And to do that you're gonna have
to visit at least five people to make it happen.
All right, so you're gonna have to go visit Mahra.
Just for clarification, we're not punching these people out.
I look directly around at the room, right?
These are not target. These are friendly allies that
we're trying to cooperate with. This is really good information.
You got that, Ruvik, Ruvik. Ruvik goes.
I was hoping that that's what y'all were going to do anyway,
but it looks like you punched one of our friends contract.
I contract didn't say anything about, you know, punching
friends. I, I, I, I shrug, and I say,
well, I'm just going to do whatever remembers from this
conversation because I'm not going to remember it.
All right. First first person.
You need to go see Margaret in case you need any specialty
weapon items. Magra be the one to to help you
after that. Have you ever been to one of
those parties where you had a little too much drink and then
you don't remember what how you got to where you got?
Every day of my life. Well, it's true.
You should go visit Craig. Craig is OK before I when you
visit Craig, Craig is a little idle.
And then then the nicest way he's he's he's, he thinks
everyone's trying to steal his secrets, but he's he's a he's a
good soul. He's just a little, maybe it's
because he's a small, small tabaxi that he thinks that
everybody's picking on him. But he, he, he.
But he makes a good brew for if you need people to go to sleep
for a while. OK, well, we we are, many of us,
small. Marla Yeah, we need OK, so these
are the people we want to. All right, after that you need
to go see Brinja. Your clothes kind of don't speak
party if you know what I'm saying.
I was going to take someone's clothes.
Or it was. In the losers, I'm going
shopping. I was, I was, I was just
assuming they didn't have clothes to fit me.
I was just going to continue to wear my battle torn shit.
Not fully, not conspicuous at all.
Nope. Just like a don't worry and just
like oh, I murdered like 6 people with this on haven't
washed it orders Yeah. They comes, order comes over and
kind of like patch you. On the shoulder.
Don't worry, Brenja. She's a she's a big lass.
Or a mass big. I.
Like he kind of like when he like he.
He opens his hands as wide as they go.
She a big lass, she know how to fit.
You down to some clothes blood. Hopefully she knows how to take
them off too. Well, if you if you like them
big virgin woman, Yeah, she'll do it for you, lad.
I don't know what that means, but I'm down for it.
Have you ever seen better people?
Oh. When I say she's big lad, she's
big. Imagine that our children, I
just say under my yeah. That's a good point.
Imagine your kids. What would that even look like?
Wait can I can I history check with this populated of a world
of animal people? There has to be animal hybrids.
Is this just Avatar the last Airbender or is it like a mule
situation where they just can't have kids?
Like we're talking humanoid individuals or no?
Like is there a bare? Hippo roaming medicine that that
says like the right option for this.
Did you take your anatomy classes?
I should have medicine. Let's see.
Yeah. I have a + 5.
I am half proficient. One of my 3-4 skills that I am
not actively proficient in 16. I should have guidance.
What am I doing? You know in the world that from
the mini tomes of anatomy that you've read, elf kind of goes
with everything, Human definitely goes with everything.
Dragon can go with anything. But outside of those scopes, it
get, it gets, it gets muddy. After that there are.
Human guns with everything. Is that how centaurs were
invented? I am not going to.
I am not going to canonize that thought, man.
I am not. Put it in your world, but.
I have to. I will.
I will insult Jacob about that thought process.
Because think about it, how did bear people and hippo people
yeah come to be if human goes with everything parallel
evolution. Parallel evolution.
I'll say. Divine creation.
Evolution, it's like the parallel evolution, is the like
bare equivalent of carcinization.
Everything becomes bare eventually.
Everything eventually becomes. Grab alright, and then.
Anyway, after. We after we get you all fitted.
I'd hate doing it out here to fellow dwarfs, but expedite
things. Go see Droga Droga.
He's a sheisty little imp, but he's great around the
celebrations. Let's play it that way.
Do you say Droga or Drogon? Droga.
Droga with an A at the end. Yeah, he's a, he's a, he's a
scrappy little goblin. I turned.
I turned to her. Do you know where all these
people are? Because I have no problem, no
clue. RURGA signs back to you.
Yes. And the last?
Wait, wait, what's the sugar do? The Roga makes things go boom.
OK. Sometimes in, sometimes
intentionally, sometimes unintentionally.
Like I said, great at, great at parties, great at parties.
You might you might have to put some wax in your ears before
things kick, or you'll be hearing a ringing in your ears
for at least the next few moons. OK, so you're saying speak up
when we go to visit him? He's kind of deaf, yes.
OK. And the last I would rather us
not go see. Well, it's it's good you don't
have to. You told us to do it.
It's true. All I'm saying, if you choose to
go see her, watch your coin purse, watch your wits,
gentlemen, watch your your hoods, if you know what I'm
saying. What?
I lick my eyeball? I don't understand.
One of my ears flops over. She's a man eater, technically.
What? What's your?
Name I shift into a woman. Her name is Varus.
What's your relationship with her?
None lad, if I can keep it that way.
Inside the chat. Is that like?
Alright. Is that like her role?
Are we supposed to bring her to Grand Am and she'll eat him?
I don't get it. 22 You can tell by the way he talks she is not
one to be trifled with, and he is dead, dead, dead.
Deadpan of he actively goes out of his way to avoid this person.
He's a voice, got it. Is the way, he said.
I study him for one minute. You're going to have to speak up
from your corner. We didn't catch that.
I said the way he spoke made it sound like this one desired to
eat our foreskin. Into.
It is much too late for that. Yeah, well.
She she, she, she looks like your small friend, only a little
bigger. We are many small which small
friend me. No Any points at Carl?
We stand short stacks in this house.
And her particular specialty is not natural magic, let's put it
that way. Oh, magic's not natural.
We're talking. Like.
Your wooden magic is not is natural.
Warlock magic. Sorcerers are natural.
Well, this. Is what?
I don't. Know last I will go talk to a
wizard. There's nothing wrong with that.
I'll talk to the to the the sorcerers that likes to, you
know, cast a few little flames here to there.
I'll even go talk to some druids out in the woods, especially if
I'm hungry. But her, her type of magic 111
thought one time that she was beholden to demons.
No, no, no. She doesn't even have that going
for her. Hers is an oddity.
So she's a warlike. No, no, What's the word I
believe they called in the common tongue?
She's a witch. L.
Just a female wizard. That's not, that's no lad.
No. She's a witch.
So what do we need her for? Grand damn.
Well, if you don't, if you want to make your best friend, you
know, vomit frogs for the next, you know, moon and you go see
her, and if you want to make your make your neighbor your
make your neighbors impotent, you go see her.
This is why I say all that is need stay away from her, because
if you spurn her, she'll curse you.
Do we need her to curse Grand Am?
I'm still lost here. And what's Grand Am's deal?
Ah lad, have you not heard the stories?
No. No, actually we have.
Are they in the binder? Well, I would hope that sure,
God would at least give you that much.
But so, as the legend says, long way back the gold shars, they
take away all the freedoms of the line.
At least that's what they say. And in order to do that they go
on a Grand Inquisitive to wipe off every Kelidor.
However, in their overstep or or not enough of a reach, they
missed a few and one of those few was Grand am Galador.
First of the name it was said that now again this is all
hearsay because I'm a like money dwarf.
I live here, I love my, I love my land.
But sometimes even dwarves tell tall tales.
But however. He led by like 2000 years.
Like that's a verifiable fact, right?
If if if you believe that there's a 2000 year old dwarf
you're daffer than a wee babe. There's no one that can live
that long. I am sure that it's just some
fairy tale that the Killador's used to inspire the nation of of
course, you know, every year we every you know 10 years we have
the grand gala and the grand dam comes down.
We all are in awe of our of our great savior to the city.
But come on lads, the only, the only people I know that live in
the long years or the long years and Dragons.
Would high level druids also be able to live that long?
Have you ever met one? No, but neither have I.
Well, they say they do. Huh.
So you're thinking granddad's what did this is all fake I.
Think it's just. Hop and pop and stance for the
people that it's literally just an old man.
It's an old man who took on the mantle of being the Grand Am and
that's all this is lads and lasses.
This should be an easy job. So are you saying that people
only ever see him once every 10 years at this gala?
Well, I mean, there are, you know, diplomats to come to the
cities and there are of course a few, you know, trade deals with
other nations that come and see. But I mean, the line of the the
line of Calador is very strong. Nothing saying that.
They just don't look really good, you know, take after their
kin, so. You're saying that you believe
Grand Am to be a title more than a?
Man, of course, I mean it would be hard to believe such a tall
tale even as a dwarf. But again, unless there's some
hoodoo ish magic in which I mean yeah, there's magic out there to
the world, I don't believe it's that kind of kind of magic.
I mean, you even you say he'd be about 2000 years.
That's a long time to be bored so.
I have a question for you. Yes.
If the Kellidors save the land from the gold charts, why are
you on this team to help the gold charts?
I've been passed over. I've been passed over quite a
few times. Yes, our land is prosperous, but
I've been told that. Have I helped with the unseating
or the change of leadership here that I might be even more
prosperous than I already AM? So the freedoms that the gold
shards were trying to eliminate when they originally tried to
take over the land, not concerned about that at all.
It's a legend, and if it's a let.
History is worn by the you know, history is written by the
victors. So who's to say, you know,
because what Dwarf has seen or has been living as long to say
that they were there when they were there when it happened?
No, you guys have libraries. Yes, we have libraries.
What does the library say? There's got to be records.
It's the same, the same pop and dance story.
Not a secret library, so I'm pretty.
Unclear what we're supposed to do with this.
Which am I supposed to punch her?
I don't think so. We said earlier these this is
list is people who are supposed to be friendly.
Oh well, I I don't want him to eat any.
So what do we do? She seems less friendly and just
more impartial. So should we just not visitor?
I don't understand. I think the the the witch the
witch could brew us potions to make people fall asleep or like
be charmed by us or never really.
Oh, what does this lady do? Curses and Trixie magic.
Basically she's a last ditch effort if we don't know what
else to do. She's like Adam of the barrel.
Help. I'm very confused where you so
this guy seems to think that we're going up against just like
a regular fucking dude and it should be easy, but we also need
to like get a bunch of shit to prepare.
There's there's two things they're not adding up into my
brain. Well, the.
Oh, that's that's. The title might be.
Yeah, the people that guard him, yeah, he's an old man, but it's
the killer doors. If you think you're just going
to walk in and. But.
Tell them what's what's. The title, it is just a title
that I guess who's the next guy that become the next Grand Am,
right? Because like Wika, is it just
killing the current Grand Ams that a new Grand Am can come in,
or is it I'm not? Quite sure that part on it that.
Part of. You that part of the plan sure,
gal was not exactly forthcoming with because.
Main part of the plan. Shamgal also seems to either
think this guy's 100 hundred years old or, sorry, 2000 years
old, or he wants us to think this guy's 2000 years old,
whether he believes. It government wants us to think
it's he's 2000 years old. I like that name.
Little 1 Shamgal. Thank you.
My, my, my general theory is, you know, maybe he's just
telling us all we need to know for whatever is required by all
I know is he wants Grand Am and he wants what grand AM holds.
But Grand Am is just a title. But does he want this guy?
Or does he want the title? He wants the one sitting in the
seat of Grand Am. They might not.
I'm guessing it's probably not just a title.
There is a dude acting as grand am that gets replaced every so
often. Yeah, but like, what's like
what? So what's stopping them from
just replacing this grand AM with another Grand AM?
That's my question. Sure, like no one really knows
what he looks like. They could just pretend he never
got killed. This guy whoever like hired us
must be like next in line or something.
Also follow up questions, do we care?
Not particularly, but we. Want to make sure we kill her?
Again, yeah, we want to make sure we're doing the job right
and make sure we read the rest of this binder here and then.
And then I guess we still don't know what the witch is for.
I think I thought of something. What's?
Read, read, read your. Read your messages and.
I I look at the stone. And then?
I I I sent over and say maybe she can remove the gold bar
symbol. Remove.
Maybe she can remove the gold bar symbol.
What's that? On our arms.
Oh, the tattoo. Yeah, Yep.
Oh, because we were cursed and we could go talk to her about
getting that curse removed. And then we could.
I don't, I don't. I don't say this in.
Character. But who's the one who made the
curse? Is it her 'cause we, we, we
signed the contract, but someone probably wrote it?
I I see you're questioning eyes and I just shrug, but I I look
at the two guys that also have gold bars on their arms and are
apparently full in on this plan in the room Ruvik and and Org
and and don't say anything. So hats off.
Didn't the last time we talked about going against the contract
we were physically attacked? Like psychological damage?
Yes, but. That didn't happen.
No, that's just because I forgot to do it.
Thanks for the reminder though. Cursor up, cursor up.
Just want to make sure I'm interpreting the rules of the
contract correctly with consistent reactions to similar
actions. Yep.
But I don't learn very quickly so.
All right, so one speaking against the contract that would
be currently chemical. Amico, you just said bad things
about sure Gall and Yeah, and then Maddock and Carl, y'all are
communicating that way. Yeah.
Technically, I didn't say anything bad about Sham Gall
other than the name that I called him.
Yeah, what you've been doing for.
Yes. I yeah, that's yeah, yeah.
No, that's not enough to trigger, trigger the event.
All right, Click here. No, no, that's not what I wanted
to do. Why can't.
Oh, I gotta hit this little drop menu.
OK, there it is. OK, I'm.
Hopping a few. I was just about to say yeah.
Yeah, bye, bye, said. I think I got a headache.
I think we need to take a long rest guys and figure out the.
Rest of the plan. There we go and finish.
Finish our our to. Do slap us around a little and
send us on our way. Yeah, I must say Carl and
Maddock, y'all get a nice little spiking sensation in your minds
once as y'all kind of cohort to not do what you planned or that
are your contracted to. Do.
We didn't say we wouldn't do what we were going to do.
Yeah, we just said that You. Know protection.
Yeah, you kind of mutinous. Mutinous spots.
I get it. Oh guys, I got a headache.
Do you think we could take a long rest?
We should all probably keep individually keep watch though
at various times. Ow ow.
I can take first. Watch and because she continues
to stuff her face. All right.
And I guess that's what we'll call it this evening, everyone.
Cool, thank you. I will read the binder.
Night. It was a very productive
session. Good job everyone.
I'm out of jail. Yay, yay yay.
OK, see you guys. We got the guys we need.
Yeah, yay. Bye.
Bye.
Bye, That was good times. A grand and wonderful thank you
for those who took the time and made it here to the end of the
episode where I know sometimes we are long winded and others we
are just dead silent. I don't know what to tell you.
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