1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:05,600 All right, let me make sure this thing is in fact recording and 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,760 it looks like we are. Hello, welcome to something 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,040 positive about some people. I'm Courtney Bryan, and I'm in 4 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:14,320 this weird flight, right? Let me see what I can do. 5 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,160 Nope, can't do anything about it. 6 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,800 I'm at the airport right now in the lounge and I got a little 7 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,640 quiet space. So I wanted to go ahead and 8 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:29,160 create a podcast episode. Just not giving updates, but I 9 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:31,440 want to give you all some important dates to log in your 10 00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:35,080 calendar. So we had our something positive 11 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,080 for positive. People heard the statement Expo 12 00:00:37,080 --> 00:00:43,600 on March 24th this past two weekends ago and it was a 13 00:00:43,600 --> 00:00:45,760 success. I want to do the something 14 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,560 similar again. This one will be themed around 15 00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:54,080 integrating herpes. I'm sorry, integrating therapy, 16 00:00:54,080 --> 00:01:00,120 yoga therapy, yoga therapy. And with some of the day. 17 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,160 So last time it was really long, it was 8 hours. 18 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,720 So what we're going to do is condense it and we're going to 19 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:10,640 make it 5 to 6 hours and we're going to start right on time. 20 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:14,960 I'm going to see if we can get the place from noon to five, 21 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,600 meaning hopefully we can open up the doors at 11, but we got to 22 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:23,520 start right on time at 12. This place will be in Manhattan, 23 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:26,400 close to Chinatown. I think it's the Lower East 24 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:31,840 Side, and we're looking at the tentative date of August 29th, 25 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,440 so there's plenty of time if people want to come out for the 26 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,160 event. August 29th, it's a Saturday and 27 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:42,440 it'll be about 5 hours. What you can expect is some yoga 28 00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:46,280 integration. We'll be talking about managing 29 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:50,760 and handling rejection, and we'll do some more role plays of 30 00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:53,960 communication around herpes and sexual health. 31 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,800 And depending how many people we get to come, we may also end up 32 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,960 doing food. So mark that date, put it in 33 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,640 your calendar. Another one is for mental health 34 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,039 professionals. If you are somebody who has 35 00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:10,759 access to mental health professionals or if you are one 36 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:14,800 yourself and you would be interested in attending a 37 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:19,680 virtual seminar workshop on out therapist and mental health 38 00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:23,000 professionals can better support people who are living with 39 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:27,360 herpes, please reach out. I believe that this will be 40 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,800 something very useful. I got somebody to help me with 41 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:32,960 this. I'll lock all the details in and 42 00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:36,960 put that into the next newsletter for us, but that'll 43 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,240 be June. I got to check my calendar real 44 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,920 quick because I think we said the 17th June. 45 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,200 Nope, I got to check. It's either going to be the 15th 46 00:02:49,480 --> 00:02:53,840 or the 16th. Oh wait of June. 47 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:57,400 That's why I was confused. All right, boom, Wednesday, June 48 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,160 17th. Let me go ahead and put that in 49 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:05,200 here now, SPFPP mental health workshop. 50 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:09,480 All right, and I don't have the time yet, but I'm putting that 51 00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,920 in the calendar and that'll be in the newsletter. 52 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,760 So if you are not subscribed to the newsletter, this is where I 53 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:20,840 keep up with people and share, hey, here's where we're going to 54 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,280 be, here's what we're going to do. 55 00:03:23,360 --> 00:03:29,960 We will also be in Atlanta August 30th through September 56 00:03:30,120 --> 00:03:34,080 1st for the SCR Prevention Conference. 57 00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:38,000 So I'm looking to see if we can get people together for a thing, 58 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:41,480 whether that be just having food, some type of an in person 59 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:45,000 support group meeting, something I don't I don't know. 60 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:49,120 But please don't be shy about joining the newsletter. 61 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:54,840 I send out on average 1.5 newsletters per month unless you 62 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,280 subscribe to something, then you'll get other correspondence 63 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:01,480 from me if you buy a ticket to an event or if you set up a call 64 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,360 or you want to join a support right now. 65 00:04:05,280 --> 00:04:12,080 I had notes for this podcast episode, but I, I want to, I 66 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:15,160 want to speak a little bit about the recent experience that I had 67 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,120 because I think that this will be more helpful. 68 00:04:18,120 --> 00:04:24,320 Now I, I had a partner reach out to me and mention that they had 69 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:28,200 recently tested positive for uroplasma. 70 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,320 And I don't know, I didn't know about that one. 71 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:36,800 I know Michael Mycoplasma microplasma and I didn't know 72 00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:39,720 about this one. So I replied and was like, hey, 73 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,640 you know, I see this and I wanted to make sure to respond 74 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:45,360 from a place of being present because I was doing things at 75 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,800 the time. But it was interesting because 76 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:54,040 getting the text, I was like, okay, like what? 77 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:55,840 What's coming up for me right now? 78 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:59,080 I think that the initial emotions were fog, like, I gotta 79 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,640 tell other people about this, right? 80 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:03,040 And the first thing I wanted to do was make sure she was 81 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:04,360 alright. Like I asked, you know, how are 82 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:05,880 you? Is there anything I can do? 83 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,360 And I love the way that she cracked with the text. 84 00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:11,920 I ain't going, you know, go into too much detail, but it the 85 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,960 overview of it was, hey, here's the information that I have. 86 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,800 I'm giving you this information so that you can do what you 87 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:21,920 would like to do with it, right? And it wasn't suggestive. 88 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:26,000 It wasn't like you gave me dot dot dot or any like blaming 89 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,440 language, which I really, really appreciate it. 90 00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,520 I really love that. I really appreciated that. 91 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:36,680 And in getting that I was like, OK, like what do I do? 92 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:41,800 Because timing wise I had just just left the doctor's office. 93 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,680 I didn't just leave. Let me not say that I went to 94 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:49,520 the doctor that morning. I got the text at like 5:00 PM. 95 00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:52,960 But that morning I went, I got tested for quote everything. 96 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:57,360 And I know that that wasn't included and I've been tested a 97 00:05:57,360 --> 00:06:00,400 couple of times this year and I know that that's something that 98 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:05,080 wasn't on the STI panel. And so I was, I was thinking 99 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:12,400 about how it felt to be out of the Courtney, the communication 100 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,200 about sexual health guy. And then we coordinate a person 101 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:18,920 because it's so easy to tell people, hey, if this happens, 102 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:23,000 here's how to handle it versus actually being in the situation 103 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:28,040 and being able to manage it, the feelings and to be able to 104 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:33,800 communicate with people about what could be happening, about 105 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:37,040 the possibilities. And you start to think like, OK, 106 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:39,440 damn. Well, if this happened or if we 107 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,640 only did these things, it's impossible. 108 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,240 And you start playing with all these scenarios in your head, 109 00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:47,080 you start to replay. Well, the last time we were 110 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:50,560 together, we didn't really. And and you, you, you, you think 111 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:58,160 about those kinds of things. And with Mike Urea, urea plasma 112 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,400 actually here I got got my computer up. 113 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,880 Let me go ahead and look it up because I spelled it and it auto 114 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,200 corrected to Europeans. So you know, I wasn't spelling 115 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,240 it right. All right, boom. 116 00:07:09,240 --> 00:07:14,480 So here we got urea plasma and hold on one second. 117 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:24,640 Urea plasma urea plasma urea plasma UREAPLA SMAI can't spell 118 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:28,840 all right, here we go all right I'm going to do the where the 119 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:34,280 the results at because that was what I had at first all right, 120 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,440 boom. So it's a bacteria that can 121 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,520 present without symptoms by high levels can cause gender burning, 122 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,600 unusual discharge, pelvic pain and infertility, infertility in 123 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,960 women and prostatitis in men. It can also cause complications 124 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,280 in the kidney like kidney stones, pregnancy issues 125 00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:57,800 including preterm labor and oh, here we go, the symptoms painful 126 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,920 urination, discharge, pelvic pain, genital irritation, 127 00:08:00,920 --> 00:08:03,360 prostatitis and then reproductive issues. 128 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:10,160 This, I ain't gonna say I became like an expert at it, but in 129 00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:13,560 just reading about it, it, it felt very similar to learning 130 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,440 about herpes, right? Like you don't really learn 131 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,720 about a thing or know about a thing until you have a reason 132 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:20,760 to. And in my case, like being told, 133 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:23,720 hey, I might, there might have been an exposure here. 134 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,480 It made me start looking at this and I was like, I didn't even 135 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,760 know that this was a thing. So it says here. 136 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:33,080 A person can acquire urea plasma through sexual contact. 137 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,120 They can also pass newborns during pregnancy. 138 00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:39,039 However, the prevalence of urea plasma varies widely depending 139 00:08:39,039 --> 00:08:42,000 on geographical location and socio economic background. 140 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:47,720 The transmissions through intimate sexual contact, 141 00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:51,000 including vaginal, oral and anal sex and is often considered a 142 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:54,760 sexually transmitted infection. Though it can also exist as 143 00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:58,080 normal flora. It is spread via body fluids 144 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,080 like sperm and vaginal secretions. 145 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,480 Additionally, it can be passed from mother to child during 146 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:08,480 pregnancy. So it's asymptomatic. 147 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:11,240 Many people carry it without symptoms allowing it to be 148 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:15,040 passed and knowingly on this treated with antibiotics and 149 00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,000 just using condoms can help reduce the risk. 150 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,760 I see that language that they put there now and they prevent. 151 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,080 But yeah, that that's, that's new. 152 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,200 This is new for me. This is new to me. 153 00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:33,160 Let me say that. So the, the, the feelings of 154 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,040 having to tell people, right? Because it's been a minute since 155 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:41,440 I had to like say to somebody, hey, you know, someone told me 156 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:45,440 that they tested positive. I'm getting tested now and I'm 157 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:46,840 just keeping you in the loop about it. 158 00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,240 Do what you want with the information. 159 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,560 I think that that was really a good way of going about it. 160 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:56,080 And for me, there were two other people that I needed to tell. 161 00:09:56,080 --> 00:10:00,720 So I told them that one had a very like engaged, neutral 162 00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,360 response and was just like, oh, like, thanks for telling me. 163 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,640 I looked it up. Here's what I read. 164 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:08,360 Here's what it looks like. Like these things happen. 165 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,280 And then the other one was just, it was neutral. 166 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,000 She was just like, all right, I'll get tested today. 167 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,880 And I was like, oh, I don't know what it was, but I think that 168 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:22,200 maybe I was expecting like the same kind of feeling that you 169 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:27,920 would like if you're thinking about HSV herpes disclosure or 170 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:32,160 having to tell somebody about that, like, hey, this might 171 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,920 happen. And I guess maybe it's the fact 172 00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:36,840 that it's curable. Maybe it's the fact that it's 173 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,120 not only seeing that it's an STII don't know that there was 174 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,280 any stigma. I don't know if it's me, maybe 175 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:50,080 it's just me, but yeah, the, the process of telling somebody 176 00:10:50,080 --> 00:10:52,600 about something that's that's different, that's outside the, 177 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:58,560 the norm of what we know or what we've already had. 178 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:02,520 And it is, it's, it's different. It's very different. 179 00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:06,840 And I think it seems very similar to, to like the COVID, 180 00:11:07,360 --> 00:11:08,640 right? Because a lot of times you're 181 00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,920 wondering, damn, I'm OK. Did I give this to this person? 182 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,160 Did they give it to me? What else did we give it to? 183 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:15,880 Am I going to have to not work for the 14 days? 184 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,160 And I think the biggest thing for me is that I leave today. 185 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,880 So it takes a week to get the results back. 186 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:26,240 So I don't, I don't know. I just, I don't know. 187 00:11:26,240 --> 00:11:30,120 I had no symptoms and like, what is it? 188 00:11:30,240 --> 00:11:32,760 No ureaplasma. OK, here it is. 189 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,840 It's showing both the next to each other, ureaplasma and 190 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,240 mycoplasma test mystery vaginal symptoms. 191 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:42,480 And somebody asked her like, can you even get tested in men? 192 00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,120 And I was like, well, I hope so because I went to the urgent 193 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:49,800 care this morning and when I went in, this was interesting. 194 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,800 The doctor didn't want to say the word penis, which was 195 00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:56,800 interesting. So the doctor was like he asked 196 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,920 who brought me in. I told him he gave me the cup 197 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:03,840 and like a little swab. He's like swab the swab the like 198 00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:06,760 he didn't want to say the word. I was like oh shit come on bro. 199 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:11,360 I got the wrong doctor for this. But I went and I did it like 200 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,320 because he got everyone like a clean swab. 201 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:15,920 So I had to wipe the head of my penis with the wipe that he gave 202 00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:19,600 me and then pee in the cup. And then he came back in and he, 203 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,040 I guess I don't know if he looked up the symptoms and 204 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:25,040 everything he got AI while I was peeing in the cup, but he came 205 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,360 back out and he seemed very knowledgeable. 206 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:28,640 I asked questions. I was like, can it be passed 207 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,840 through kissing and oral sex? Is that a risk? 208 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:35,440 And he very confidently said no. But like, I looked on the 209 00:12:35,440 --> 00:12:38,280 Internet and you don't know, I talked to some other medical 210 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,240 professionals. As you know, Evelyne, I have 211 00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:43,600 medical professionals on my board of directors. 212 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:48,520 So I had questions for them. And we ended up talking about 213 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:52,800 we, we, we got some contradicting information, but 214 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:57,600 we'll, we'll just see because he said he gave me the option of I 215 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,120 can get on the medication now, but he recommended just waiting 216 00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:03,000 until the test came back to see like what happened. 217 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:07,120 And I was just curious. I was like, OK, well, do condoms 218 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,680 prevent transmission? Like is it passed on from 219 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:14,160 genital fluid exchange? Is it like, it's not a skin to 220 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,280 skin contact, It's a bacterial thing. 221 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,760 You may not know you have it. He said that people have it in 222 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:24,400 them and it's other things that might trigger the overgrowth, I 223 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,760 think, he said. But leaving from the doctor's 224 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,440 appointment, I did feel better than when he came in and didn't 225 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:34,720 want to say the word penis. As I left that appointment, I 226 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:38,960 felt a lot better than how I felt, you know, when, when we 227 00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:40,720 started the appointment for sure. 228 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:46,880 So with that being said, it's a waiting game. 229 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,000 So I got tested this morning. So we'll know in a week what the 230 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:54,040 results are. And I'm very curious because if 231 00:13:54,400 --> 00:14:00,520 like I've not had sex without condoms and shit, wait a minute. 232 00:14:01,240 --> 00:14:08,840 But also like, could I have had it for longer than that? 233 00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:13,240 Could I have just had it and it not been present that I give 234 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:17,040 this to a person, right? Like you start thinking about 235 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:22,120 all of these things and you begin to you, you can, you know, 236 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,680 speak for y'all. But like, I can blame myself. 237 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,920 And I think that I went back to that place that I was at when I 238 00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:30,200 got my herpes diagnosis of damn, who else would you like to give 239 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:31,520 this to? Did I give this to somebody 240 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:35,920 else, right? And the people that I talked to 241 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:41,800 about it were very just good and like, not what I would have 242 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:47,640 expected to experience 13 years ago when I had gotten herpes or 243 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,520 when I got chlamydia in 2021, Right. 244 00:14:52,120 --> 00:14:54,760 Yeah. I think that we we should let 245 00:14:54,760 --> 00:14:59,080 people surprise us. And I was telling somebody that 246 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:02,240 asked me they were like, well, do you feel like the human part 247 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:04,080 of you took over or like the real you? 248 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:06,960 And I was like, yo, I'm. I am human. 249 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:09,480 I thought to myself, I was like, well, maybe if I just get tested 250 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:10,960 and find out. And I was like, Courtney, no, 251 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,320 that's not that's not an alignment. 252 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,200 That's not who you are. And that's not what you do, 253 00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,240 right? I got the information. 254 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:22,000 Take the information and take it through the avenues in which to 255 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:24,400 express and communicate the information. 256 00:15:24,400 --> 00:15:30,320 So partners who might have been at risk, future partners that 257 00:15:30,640 --> 00:15:34,120 might, you know, be at risk, I think we can look the 258 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,200 information up together and decide, like, how we want to 259 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:41,640 move forward or what the risks are and everything like that. 260 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:48,760 But yeah, this was a, this was a good exercise for me because 261 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,480 it's just not something I had to do. 262 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:55,960 She says 20/21/2021. No, Yeah. 263 00:15:55,960 --> 00:16:00,240 I think it might have been 2122 because I remember that a 264 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,280 partner of mine had said that she tested positive for trick 265 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:08,440 and night. Trick and night is a trick and 266 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:11,040 when she tested positive for trig I went and got tested. 267 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:16,920 I was living in Portland at the time and the doctor was like 268 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,520 don't know. She gave me the antibiotic, she 269 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,960 gave me the medication for it and they told me that the test 270 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,480 had came back negative and I was like dude I took this medicine 271 00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:29,000 for nothing. So I'm down to just play the 272 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:33,560 weight game and sit my ass down for a minute and just did it be 273 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:38,200 what it be. So that's the route that I'm 274 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:43,440 going, but that's another just scenario that I'm thinking about 275 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,080 putting in place. Oh, we got a couple of more 276 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,560 scenarios. I'm waiting on the final edits 277 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:51,760 to be able to put up on the website of how to talk about 278 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:54,280 your sexual health. I do a role play of another 279 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,520 disclosure on 1st date at the bar. 280 00:16:56,520 --> 00:17:01,240 Things are going well and about the hook up, so that'll be up on 281 00:17:01,240 --> 00:17:04,319 the website as soon as we get that edits from it. 282 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:08,599 And yeah, I think we'll be doing this one too. 283 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:13,000 This will be a good like scene and for educational purposes, 284 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,319 right? Like being able to say, hey, I 285 00:17:15,319 --> 00:17:18,200 tested positive for this. I'm letting you know you do what 286 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:21,839 you want with the information. Let me know what questions you 287 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:27,240 have right and it was so smooth. It wasn't like over the top 288 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,320 scripted. It wasn't extra. 289 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:32,280 It was just like very matter of fact. 290 00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:38,760 So I'm like real like happy with how this turned out. 291 00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:44,600 I'm, I'm happy that that was the, the, the route of 292 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:48,760 information. So, yeah, with that, I went to 293 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,880 the doctor, got tested. We'll see what happens over the 294 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:54,560 course of the next week. Let me see what time is it? 295 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:59,600 I got how much time I got about an hour, 20 minutes before I 296 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,680 need to board my plane. So what this is going on. 297 00:18:04,120 --> 00:18:06,640 So I had to, it's funny. God, about to say, yeah. 298 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:11,480 So I haven't been dating and it's it's very interesting 299 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,880 because I'm not seeing anyone, right. 300 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:23,720 I think that yeah, the last yeah, I'm not. 301 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,600 I ain't seeing anybody. And these were just like, I 302 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:29,080 don't even know what to call them. 303 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:32,880 Like it ain't like casual things. 304 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,360 These might have just been one time things. 305 00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:39,360 I don't I don't know. I don't know because there's no 306 00:18:39,960 --> 00:18:43,120 like I, I, I realize like I'm not polyamorous and there have 307 00:18:43,120 --> 00:18:44,920 been people that will tell me, go you are. 308 00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,840 And it's like, no, I'm not. Don't tell me what I am. 309 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,560 A lot of people try to tell me what I am. 310 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,080 That's what got me in trouble the last few times. 311 00:18:52,360 --> 00:18:54,200 And that's not, that's not the case. 312 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,840 Like I think I'm learning the language of what it is and I'm 313 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:05,240 looking for as I live in a way where I'm not with someone who I 314 00:19:05,240 --> 00:19:08,240 let their perception of me dictate who I am. 315 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:12,440 Like there there is no person, there is no mirror that I'm 316 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,960 intimately connected to or somebody can have that kind of 317 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:20,440 influence over me anymore. And in doing so, I'm able to 318 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:24,040 just experience myself and perceive myself as well. 319 00:19:24,440 --> 00:19:28,040 And I like this. Like I, I was talking to a 320 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:32,520 friend of mine and I was like, yo, I'm kind of scared at how OK 321 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:37,480 this single shit is. And the quantity I I need to 322 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,200 make this just like the quantity of sex that I've been having is 323 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:46,360 significantly lower than it's ever been as an adult, whereas 324 00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:52,120 the quality way fewer times has significantly increased, right. 325 00:19:52,680 --> 00:20:00,560 So not I'm I'm not actively dating and I'm I'm not like 326 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:04,840 looking to get. My once met, I'm, I'm saying 327 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,840 once versus needs because I, I think I finally got the language 328 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:11,120 for this. I've spent a lot of time and 329 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:16,360 energy trying to get my once met rather than my needs met and 330 00:20:16,360 --> 00:20:18,480 thinking that oh, because you meet my once, you could meet my 331 00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:19,960 knees. And that ain't the case. 332 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,640 Like I've been doing this shit backwards, right? 333 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:27,320 Needs first, right? So in looking at what it is I 334 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:29,600 need, like I need, I need presents, I need somebody that 335 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,680 can sit their ass down for a minute, right? 336 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:37,600 I can't, I can't be the source of 1's entertainment 100% of the 337 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,040 time. Because it is important to me 338 00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:41,920 that I'm able to do what it is that I do. 339 00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,160 And I'm learning the importance of that. 340 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:48,360 Like my life goal has been dedicated to neutralizing the 341 00:20:48,360 --> 00:20:53,160 Herpes stadium and whatever actions, decisions that I make 342 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:55,800 from there. Like it's important that that be 343 00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:57,760 supported and not be taken away from. 344 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:02,200 And as I'm going through my yoga therapy and certification and 345 00:21:02,200 --> 00:21:08,720 training and living in a way where it's, it's just me very 346 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,600 much condensing my energy to be able to lock into that 347 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:13,520 intention. A lot of opportunities have been 348 00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,400 presenting themselves. A lot of challenges have been 349 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:21,440 presenting themselves, but that that true north and trajectory 350 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:25,560 of this is what I'm doing Like I'm I'm neutralizing Herbie 351 00:21:25,560 --> 00:21:27,440 stick. I'm given the opportunity to do 352 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:32,600 so and life is meeting me with the the whetstone. 353 00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:37,680 Whetstone is is a real good analogy for it to mold me and 354 00:21:37,680 --> 00:21:40,080 shape me into the person that I say I want to be. 355 00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:44,560 And I even look at this situation where the partner that 356 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:50,160 I had recently told me about the, the you're, you're, that's 357 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,320 right, you're your plasma, right? 358 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:55,040 And how I handle that, right? Because it's really easy to 359 00:21:55,040 --> 00:22:01,480 revert to old shit or to to default programming of all 360 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:03,640 right, Dan, this is a shameful thing. 361 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,120 This is a stigmatizing thing. I got to tell somebody I got an 362 00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:10,520 SCI or am I having an SCI or am I gating one, right? 363 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:14,840 And to be able to take that and turn it into something that 364 00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:19,600 hopefully becomes useful to other people and a lesson as 365 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:24,120 well for myself to be that I'm, it's validating to me that I'm 366 00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:27,760 picking like good people. Like I'm picking good people 367 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,240 because she didn't have to tell me that. 368 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:31,840 And to me that communication is sexy. 369 00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,480 Even if you tell her like, it don't matter, like most people 370 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,880 might be like, oh, but she told you she got an STD and like, 371 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,720 it's possible that I gave it to her. 372 00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:45,920 It's possible that it is. It's a lot of possibilities, 373 00:22:46,520 --> 00:22:50,440 right? And so to be able to normalize 374 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:53,680 this kind of a conversation is another piece of the puzzle of 375 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:55,800 me working towards that trajectory. 376 00:22:56,720 --> 00:23:00,480 Now, what about to say I need to eat? 377 00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,760 How much time I got wasted that time? 378 00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:05,600 I got a call scheduled in like 12 minutes though. 379 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:07,600 But yeah, your boy has been work. 380 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,800 Speaking of videographer, hold on. 381 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,600 Alright, You just like my message. 382 00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:14,040 Oh, wait, wait, what else you say? 383 00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:20,120 Send me the logos. I can't wait to post these 384 00:23:20,120 --> 00:23:24,920 videos. So what else was I saying? 385 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:29,360 I don't even remember. Oh yeah, like just I'm 386 00:23:29,360 --> 00:23:31,040 recognizing the importance of what I need. 387 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:34,600 I need presents. I need, I need like I wrote this 388 00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,680 down. It was like I need whoever it is 389 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,400 and I'm with, I carry a big ass. Well, I don't like asking for 390 00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:43,720 help. I don't, but I have the women 391 00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:46,760 who are on my board. They do a damn good job of 392 00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:51,120 keeping me in line, but not necessarily like sharing globe. 393 00:23:51,120 --> 00:23:54,080 They got their own shit going on right, and I don't want to give 394 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:59,480 them my personal stuff as well. So it it it. 395 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:01,800 But they're they're still like friends too, like they're 396 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:04,800 friends and board members. So they they get all of that. 397 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:11,560 But I recognize how in even in relationships, the importance of 398 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,480 what people want from me is to be able to share that load to an 399 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,840 extent. My problem is I get to my all 400 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:19,080 bet you want to help here you go. 401 00:24:19,840 --> 00:24:25,200 And there's no like rationing it out is more like, I bet I'll 402 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,280 take this off for a little bit and then I stretch my legs and 403 00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,680 then before I know it, they crushed by the low. 404 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:38,000 And I think that that's probably what that might be why into this 405 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,320 year in that sense is is a challenge for me. 406 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:50,920 So and yeah, I'm I'm also learning myself not in 407 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,360 connection to other people. It is the first time that I've 408 00:24:54,360 --> 00:24:58,080 been single. Like not even with the people 409 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,840 who think we're in a relationship or working towards 410 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,360 a relationship or going on dates. 411 00:25:03,360 --> 00:25:11,160 Like it's, it's just Courtney and I am learning especially 412 00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:14,320 just through like I'm still taking Brazilian zoo classes. 413 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:20,400 I went to Dominican Independence Day, the child class, which was 414 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:24,400 funny. I'm, I'm doing the things that I 415 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:25,720 want to do. And then I think the most 416 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:27,560 important thing here is that I'm saying no to stuff. 417 00:25:27,720 --> 00:25:29,200 I'm saying no to 1 doesn't align. 418 00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:33,840 Like I had an interview with Chelsea Peers for teaching yoga 419 00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,680 and I'm like, I'm a little bit on the fence because on one 420 00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,080 hand, yeah, I get to teach yoga and I get like to teach yoga to 421 00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,000 this demographic of people that I otherwise would never have 422 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,880 access to. But then on the other hand, it's 423 00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:50,280 like, how is this pulling me away from neutralizing herpes? 424 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:54,160 The more I'm doing stuff for other organizations and people, 425 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:57,680 the less that I'm convincing into something positive for 426 00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,800 positive people. So that's the thing that I'm 427 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,040 working through, working on and trying to sort out and situate 428 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:05,680 for myself as well. Because I don't know. 429 00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:13,240 I don't know, but let me fix that. 430 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:17,880 I do know. I do know, and I got to stop to 431 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:23,480 understand where I act like I don't and also be the example, 432 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:25,720 right? It's important that I be the 433 00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:29,920 example that I want to set for this community, for the people 434 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:34,640 who come here. Still at 403 podcast episodes 435 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,800 now. Shout out to you all, but I 436 00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,440 appreciate y'all for making this space safe for me to be able to 437 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,600 share my experience. Like I recognize that this is 438 00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:45,520 another need of mine. I need to be able to not know. 439 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:46,880 I need to be able to say I don't know. 440 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,520 That's a very vulnerable thing. I need to be able to not have it 441 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:53,120 all figured out. I need to be able to not be 442 00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:55,880 super Courtney and I need to be able to just be human. 443 00:26:56,360 --> 00:26:59,280 These are needs. The wants of sex. 444 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:03,280 Somebody that looks good, somebody that makes me 445 00:27:03,360 --> 00:27:07,840 physically feel good. Like that shit cool, but that 446 00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,920 that's everywhere. Hell you pay for that. 447 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,360 I want that shit you can't pay for. 448 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:19,800 Like I want what can only be Co created with presents and a 449 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:23,200 sense of self certainty. So for me to be able to like, 450 00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:26,600 have and welcome that in, I got invited that shit my damn self. 451 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:28,600 And I think that that's what's happening. 452 00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:32,320 The more that I'm detaching myself from a lot of things that 453 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,400 are pulling Courtney and my awareness and attention and all 454 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:38,560 these different directions. I'm condensing down like all 455 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:40,160 this travelling and shit that I've been doing. 456 00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:45,000 After my granddad's birthday is in July, I think I'm going to go 457 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:48,120 home for his 80th, his 80th son birthday. 458 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:52,640 I go home for that, and then I'm sitting my ass down until the 459 00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,320 conference in Atlanta. But I it's going to take a lot 460 00:27:56,320 --> 00:28:00,360 to move me. I I need a lot more to move me 461 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:04,280 now than what it was before. And I'm, I'm becoming more of a 462 00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:08,480 dense person in the sense of condensing my energy and 463 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:10,760 plugging up these leaks. I don't want to. 464 00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:16,000 Yeah, I don't want to. What's the phrase? 465 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,000 I want to use it. Yeah. 466 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:20,440 I don't want to overextend myself. 467 00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:25,240 I recognize my capacity and I'll never, never need to be at that 468 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,640 capacity again. And that looks like a lot more 469 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,480 firm boundaries. And I understand boundaries now. 470 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:34,560 Boundaries are just like plugs of leaking energy, the shit that 471 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:39,640 exhausts me and keeps me, that deviates me from like the 472 00:28:40,440 --> 00:28:44,960 trajectory of transformation and being able to neutralize herpes, 473 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:47,760 Steady. And the core intention that I 474 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:51,720 have for myself and my son culpa is to nurture my nature. 475 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:55,640 And that's what I've been doing. I've been able to do that by 476 00:28:55,640 --> 00:29:01,200 myself and anything, anyone that doesn't nurture my nature, it's 477 00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:07,640 it's I just politely remove myself and I'm not as close, I'm 478 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:12,800 not as engaged and step away. And that's something that in 479 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:15,240 order for me to teach it, I got to I got to embody it. 480 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:19,240 So I look forward to being able to continue to do that. 481 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,600 I hope that my experience recently is something that will 482 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:26,680 be helpful to whoever is listening to this in the process 483 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,840 of working on. Man, do I want to say my book or 484 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:34,400 books? There's definitely one book that 485 00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:41,720 I'm working on and it's applying yoga to herpes and herpes stigma 486 00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,720 and what it is that we can learn from that in order to get to a 487 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:48,560 place where we can live a life in a way that we're supposed to. 488 00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:56,120 One of my biggest, one of my most aligned learning tools as 489 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,520 anime. I'll be watching the anime, and 490 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,720 anime teaches us exactly how to live. 491 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:04,200 Like I've been using my AI to have the conversation that draws 492 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:08,640 the parallels between anime and quantum physics as well as the 493 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:12,600 agents of yoga. And I think I'll come up with 494 00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:16,280 something that's really good and I want to put that in the 495 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,000 workshop that's going to be on August 29th, assuming that we 496 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:23,560 can lock in the date in New York City and let this be a teaching 497 00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:25,640 tool. I'll be able to also present 498 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:29,200 this at the Black Yoga Teachers Alliance if I ever get the 499 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:33,480 e-mail to solidify the date and when I'm presenting and 500 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:37,800 everything. So that's, that's it. 501 00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:40,000 That's where we at. That's where we, I think after 502 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,600 listening to this point. Yeah. 503 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:45,760 Thanks for listening to something positive for positive 504 00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,120 people. Please like rate review, 505 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,840 subscribe to the podcast, take our survey. 506 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:54,320 The survey is still up and it does not have a lot of 507 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:58,320 responses. I I recognize that Instagram 508 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,840 really don't like me no more. It was a great run to get the 509 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:06,040 10,000 followers on Instagram, but I got to use the podcast a 510 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,640 lot more strategically, especially for the promotion of 511 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,280 events and trying to get people on this newsletter so we can 512 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:14,520 build community. Most of the people who I hear 513 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:19,320 from for the support group calls and the one on ones are in New 514 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:24,120 York. People, if y'all stay subscribed 515 00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:28,320 to the newsletter and give me a reason to like be able to 516 00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:32,560 collect information or collect y'all's like locations and know 517 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,520 this is where we need to go to do a support. 518 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,360 This is where we need to bring an Expo to because that's 519 00:31:37,360 --> 00:31:40,080 something that we can do instead of people having to always come 520 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:41,560 out to New York to find community. 521 00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:45,200 All right, I can't think of anything else. 522 00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:48,440 But yeah, if you have any questions about anything or if 523 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:52,440 you're curious about the experience of like having to 524 00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:56,480 tell a partner about the new SEI or a partner telling you like, 525 00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:57,480 let me know. Reach out. 526 00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:58,800 That's what we that's what we do. 527 00:31:58,800 --> 00:31:59,880 That's what I'm here for. Right. 528 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:01,920 Till next time, stay present.