1 00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:05,200 All right, welcome to something positive for Positive People. 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,760 I'm Courtney Brain. Something positive for positive 3 00:00:07,760 --> 00:00:11,400 people is A5O1C3 nonprofit organization supporting people 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:12,760 who are navigating herpes stigma. 5 00:00:13,160 --> 00:00:16,040 In addition to that, we also teach people how to communicate 6 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:21,040 about their sexual health and that this episode is going to 7 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:25,360 highlight that in more of a hands on, personal experience 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:31,960 based process. I got a guest on here, Tamar 9 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:35,640 Weir, who is the your You managed the Instagram account 10 00:00:35,640 --> 00:00:37,480 pomegranate pleasure, is that right? 11 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:42,440 It is right, yeah. And I don't really have 12 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:47,000 announcements, so we can really just go into the recording. 13 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:51,240 So we I talked about this on the previous episode. 14 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:54,840 I just didn't say who or like give any like details outside of 15 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:59,920 that, but I did an episode speaking about possible exposure 16 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:05,560 to urea plasma and I really, really highlighted the 17 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:09,680 communication and just like thought about how grateful I was 18 00:01:09,680 --> 00:01:13,800 to like have someone who all right, I was exposed to this. 19 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:18,160 Let me tell all of my partners, hey, this is a thing here, Be 20 00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:20,520 mindful of it. Here's the information. 21 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:25,240 And then the way that you presented it not being something 22 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:32,400 that was overly positive or overly like in a fearful way or 23 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:35,080 anything, it was just a very neutral presentation of the 24 00:01:35,080 --> 00:01:40,720 information and what, you know, suggested next steps were. 25 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:44,320 So that was kind of what I talked about in the podcast of 26 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:47,360 how it was for me receiving that information. 27 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:52,760 And so I guess to start and I'll talk about the urea plasma, what 28 00:01:52,760 --> 00:01:54,400 it is and all of that. We'll get into it. 29 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:57,880 But for starters, yeah, I let's open up with the the 30 00:01:57,880 --> 00:02:01,600 communication in your experience since the audience knows mine if 31 00:02:01,600 --> 00:02:05,480 they listen to that episode. Yeah, yeah. 32 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:12,560 So the communication is definitely part of my passion 33 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:16,600 and and this like sexual health and sensuality work. 34 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:20,320 I talk about it a lot. I think it's generally a topic 35 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:22,560 that a lot of people are talking about. 36 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,440 Whether or not people are actually doing it or not, I 37 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,720 don't know. It's like a separate podcast 38 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:32,240 perhaps. But yeah, I feel like for me 39 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:36,280 personally, whatever I'm exploring something new within 40 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:40,960 my own experience. I, there's always a, a certain 41 00:02:40,960 --> 00:02:46,480 level of whether like, you know, perhaps anxiety or just newness 42 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:50,560 to a situation that really I like to look at as like an 43 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,400 opportunity to practice something. 44 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:58,520 And from our, you know, past podcasts and folks who know me 45 00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:02,880 communication around like sexual desires and STI status and all 46 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:07,280 that good stuff is not something that is new for me or 47 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:11,840 unfamiliar, but urea plasma was. And so that is where kind of the 48 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:16,560 two things came together, where maybe I may be more familiar 49 00:03:16,560 --> 00:03:19,520 with having these hard conversations than other people, 50 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,480 but it was an opportunity to do it in a different or new way 51 00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:27,760 because urea plasma was something that was not very 52 00:03:27,760 --> 00:03:30,280 familiar to me. So that's kind of like the 53 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,960 background headspace that I was in was, you know, curious, 54 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:39,640 confused, and also just seeing it as like an opportunity to 55 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:43,800 keep exploring this, whether or not it's through my work or like 56 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:47,160 my own personal experience with my body and my partners, you 57 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,440 know? Yeah. 58 00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:52,080 Out of curiosity, was this something that because you wrote 59 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,040 about it and I read the blog, very well written, thank you for 60 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:59,400 sharing. Was this re triggering? 61 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:03,480 And I use triggering very loosely, let's call it 62 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:09,480 activating for you from having your herpes experience and then 63 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:14,760 talking about that and now sharing about another SCI. 64 00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:21,920 Yeah, actually it wasn't as it wasn't as much as I thought it 65 00:04:21,920 --> 00:04:28,800 would or could be. I think that unlike, I think for 66 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:32,360 the main, the main reason why it didn't kind of resurface some 67 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:39,160 old feelings was because when I got herpes, I was very young and 68 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:43,960 there was a lot of fear and like misinformation and stigma that 69 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,400 still exists now. But I was a lot younger. 70 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:50,280 I was like 18 and just, yeah, very, very young. 71 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:55,080 And so I think when I had herpes, I was just flooded with 72 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:59,160 a lot of fear because of the heavy stigma that was around me. 73 00:04:59,520 --> 00:05:03,280 And now, like almost 10 years later, there is still so much 74 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:06,600 stigma, but I feel a lot more sure of myself. 75 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:10,440 And so I feel like that stigma doesn't penetrate me as easily 76 00:05:10,840 --> 00:05:13,960 as it did before. It was like full on, you know, 77 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:18,080 chaos. And so and also I think it 78 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:22,520 didn't re resurface any old feelings because of what I'm 79 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:26,640 studying now and focusing on and because I think urea plasma is 80 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:34,360 still a very confusing bacteria. So you know, when there is 81 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:37,400 confusion about things, I think sometimes the stigma is a little 82 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,240 different. I mean, of course people are 83 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:43,680 still, I see in my life very confused by herpes, but I think 84 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:45,880 it's a little different than urea plasma. 85 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,360 We can get into the specifics of maybe the differences and 86 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:51,520 whatnot, but I'm curious about you. 87 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:56,440 Did it resurface anything or prompt any old thoughts and 88 00:05:56,440 --> 00:06:00,480 feelings you had? Or was it completely new or like 89 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:08,840 a mix? Urea plasma was very similar of 90 00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:13,440 an experience because I didn't know anything about it, right. 91 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,040 And I think that what was familiar for me more than 92 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:20,280 anything was having to navigate the conversation with other 93 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:24,640 partners and being more concerned with I would a newer 94 00:06:24,640 --> 00:06:26,840 person who maybe doesn't know me all that well. 95 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:31,760 Like what would they think? And if you let yourself get into 96 00:06:31,800 --> 00:06:35,200 the thought process and go down a rabbit hole of possibilities, 97 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,280 like you can really mind fuck yourself. 98 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:40,960 So for me, it was just a matter of, OK, let me go ahead and just 99 00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,560 I got the information like the sooner the better. 100 00:06:43,840 --> 00:06:47,560 I would rather know in the instance like that, like I'd 101 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:51,520 want to know now, especially before if I engage with anybody 102 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:54,520 else, especially if I know that the people that I see see other 103 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,600 people. So for me, it was just a matter 104 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:01,080 of OK, hey, I got this information today and I just 105 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,800 wanted to share with you. I don't know much about, I don't 106 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:08,000 know anything about this, so I'm going to get tested. 107 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,760 It was very similar to the text that you sent. 108 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:11,240 It was just a lot shorter, I would say. 109 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:15,720 But yeah, I think that that was really the only thing. 110 00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:19,480 It was just like, damn, I gotta tell you know, people, and I 111 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,960 don't know how their reactions are gonna go, but it was a real 112 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:27,880 good litmus test for the quality of and the kind of people that I 113 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,800 do have sex with and communicate with. 114 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:35,120 Because no one was, no one said to me like the worst possible 115 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,040 things that I think people imagine that are gonna be said. 116 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:40,520 I've never been met with those things. 117 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:46,640 And I think for a regular person who may look from the outside in 118 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,640 and be like, well, Courtney, you're in sex education, you 119 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:51,280 know what to say. It ain't always what you say, 120 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,200 but it's like also how it's being said. 121 00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,200 It's where the other person is, the context of the relationship, 122 00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:00,560 how they receive it, kind of move there in. 123 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:01,960 Are they hungry? Are they hot? 124 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,120 You know what I mean? Yeah. 125 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:10,720 So I had some initial like rockiness going into it, but 126 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,600 then as it became more of a conversation, I think I became a 127 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,640 lot more comfortable. Yeah. 128 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:20,080 And did you, Yeah, I get that. Did you feel like you had to 129 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,640 have a lot of conversations and through the urea plasma? 130 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,880 No. So the conversations I had, I 131 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,640 reached out to two of my board members who are in sexual health 132 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,799 because one of them had just treated someone for it. 133 00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:36,280 And she was like, yo, that is a bitch. 134 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,320 I was like, what do you mean? And so she was explaining to me 135 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,240 how long it takes for the test results to get back the 136 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,960 treatment turn around time. And then another board member 137 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:50,800 had had another she shared as well, like what her experience 138 00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,800 was with it in the space. And she was like, yeah, it's a 139 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:57,280 colonizer, which I I don't know what that I don't know what that 140 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:02,840 means in terms of STI. OK, all right. 141 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:06,320 But yeah, I got that information and I was just like, OK. 142 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:09,720 And then when I went and saw my doctor, I talked about this 143 00:09:09,720 --> 00:09:11,640 already but like my doctor didn't even want to say the word 144 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,120 penis. So I was just like oh that's the 145 00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:17,640 kind of care I'm in today. The nurse was much more 146 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,800 comfortable talking about sex and I was asking her like 5 147 00:09:20,800 --> 00:09:23,560 questions and then I was like I'm supposed to ask these to the 148 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:25,960 doctor, aren't I? She was like yes, I said OK. 149 00:09:26,560 --> 00:09:29,760 And the way she looked was kind of like, oh, you're, you're in 150 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,200 for a treat because he doesn't know anything but. 151 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:37,080 And he does. Not even say the word penis. 152 00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:40,280 He didn't want, he could have said anything, but he, he chose 153 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,640 to say nothing. So he was explaining to me how 154 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:45,040 to do the urine test for ureaplasma. 155 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:48,040 And he was like, yeah, you want to take the cup and we want to 156 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,440 do a clean swab. So what you'll do is you'll wipe 157 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:55,400 the and then pee in the cup. And I, I think I made this face. 158 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:59,800 I don't think Sal came out but I just like wait I believe. 159 00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,240 In you a review, Sir. So I did it, but when I came 160 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:06,040 back, he was he was very confident. 161 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,320 I don't know, I don't want to use the word knowledgeable, but 162 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,760 he was very confident in presenting me information. 163 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,800 So I don't know if there's like a medical ChatGPT or something 164 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:19,720 that he brushed up on real quick, but he was on it and all 165 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,840 of his responses were confusing, 'cause he said like, you can 166 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,280 have it and not know it. There cannot be. 167 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:29,680 It can show up without symptoms. It can go away on its own. 168 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:34,240 And it's one of the tricky ones to get tested for. 169 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:38,160 That was all the information that I got. 170 00:10:38,160 --> 00:10:41,600 And that's like, well, why isn't this on a test? 171 00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:43,120 Like what? What? 172 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:45,320 Give me more, give me more information. 173 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,240 So I left out of there with probably more questions than 174 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,000 answers that I had. Yeah. 175 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:54,920 Did you feel like when you were there at the clinic, you were 176 00:10:54,920 --> 00:10:56,840 more confused? You said you left with more 177 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,640 questions. Did you get, I mean, it sounds 178 00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,960 like you got some important information, but what do you 179 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:05,880 feel like where you left with like a lot of question marks? 180 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:11,080 Yeah, because it was really just a waiting game because the test 181 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:15,240 took 10 to 14 days. So I'm just like, do I take the 182 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,760 medication now? Like do I assume that I have it? 183 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,200 Like what? What do I do? 184 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:21,720 And it was just like, well, we don't know, it can go away on 185 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,480 its own. So I was like, well, fuck, I 186 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:25,760 don't want to take medication for something I don't have. 187 00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:27,720 So all right, I'll just wait the two weeks. 188 00:11:29,360 --> 00:11:33,320 And so, yeah, that was that was the process for me. 189 00:11:33,320 --> 00:11:36,560 It was just a matter of, oh, I have to wait on this. 190 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:39,160 And then that was it. Oh. 191 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:43,960 Yeah, it's a long waiting game. I know and I can't imagine what 192 00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:46,760 it was like for you. I mean, we communicated 193 00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:50,440 throughout the process, but how are you and if you're 194 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,960 comfortable with just sharing what that journey was for you 195 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:57,520 from the time that you found out or you had symptoms? 196 00:11:58,080 --> 00:12:01,280 Yeah, go ahead. It's been a long journey and 197 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:07,000 still one that is in process. I the blog that I wrote last 198 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:10,640 week was just a way of kind of condensing the process for me 199 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:14,440 that I've been in. And I'll be sure to link that. 200 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,160 I'll link that in the show notes as well. 201 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:20,080 Oh, thank you. Yeah, it's been, I mean, you 202 00:12:20,080 --> 00:12:22,760 know, I've been talking to you about the confusion of it and 203 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:25,280 sending little updates here and there because it has been such a 204 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:29,400 long process that has required, you know, a good amount of 205 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:34,480 patience, which is hard for me. So I've been, you know, working 206 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:40,640 on that personally. But yeah, I have been going 207 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:49,320 through some other, you know, urethral and vaginal pain that 208 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:51,960 is could be connected, but you know, for the sake of this 209 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:54,480 conversation, maybe a little disconnected from, you know, 210 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:58,560 ureaplasma alone. But that's actually what led me 211 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:04,800 to get tested for ureaplasma was that I was and still am having 212 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:09,760 some urethral symptoms. And I get regularly tested, 213 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:13,320 usually like every three months, sometime sooner depending on the 214 00:13:13,320 --> 00:13:17,640 context or who I'm with. And that's pretty routine for 215 00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,960 me. So pretty standard, pretty easy. 216 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:25,360 But I had a new Doctor who is a urologist, so it was like a 217 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:29,120 specialist that I had requested to see for some other concerns 218 00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:33,400 that I've been having. And in one of our first 219 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,400 meetings, after telling him a little bit about what I was 220 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:41,080 experiencing, he suggested that I get tested for some like 221 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:45,280 weirder St. is and I talk about the end up in the blog and kind 222 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:49,600 of, you know, criticize a little bit and critique him because 223 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:55,360 he's not my favorite doctor. I will say definitely not 224 00:13:55,360 --> 00:14:00,440 recommending him. But once I spoke to him and kind 225 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,800 of was like, what do you mean by that? 226 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:05,280 It let's unpack it a little key recommended that I get tested 227 00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:13,200 for ureaplasma and mycoplasma. And once I got tested for those, 228 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,840 my urine culture sample came back positive. 229 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:23,200 And then from there, I went into a discussion with him. 230 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:27,160 But again, my doctor may be similar to yours, didn't really 231 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,240 give me a lot of information. If anything, my doctor gave me 232 00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:36,800 even less than yours because we did an online appointment. 233 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:39,400 So a lot of appointments now, I think in like the healthcare 234 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:42,280 system are online. It's like a lot of efficiency. 235 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:46,920 So I didn't even really see him. I actually still have not seen 236 00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,480 him in person. So yeah, like, the information 237 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:55,240 he gave me was very like, just confusing and not very clear. 238 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:59,600 And so, yeah, I got the test. It was positive. 239 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,440 I was trying to ask him about what he thinks and kind of like 240 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:06,880 a larger framework for this. But basically he was like, this 241 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:09,640 is your only option is to, you know, do this antibiotic 242 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:14,160 treatment. And so that is what I did. 243 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:18,960 It was a pretty standard, like 10 day antibiotic treatment. 244 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:25,680 And, you know, after that you're supposed to wait a given amount 245 00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,840 of time, right, to get retested. Every STI is different. 246 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:33,360 You know, the window of testing and waiting, you know, is unique 247 00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:36,480 to each one. But even that, you know, as I 248 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:39,320 was doing my own research and speaking with people in like, my 249 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:43,640 community and trying to gather information for my blog and, and 250 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,400 just for my own healing, like, I really had to do most of the 251 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:51,600 research and the digging, which was frustrating because, you 252 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:58,560 know, we, we and I want to be able to, you know, really trust 253 00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:03,280 and like lean on providers and not have to like, carry that 254 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:06,160 weight alone. But this doctor did not really 255 00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,440 carry any, anything in this journey, really. 256 00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:13,960 He's just kind of like there. But yeah, after I got the 257 00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:17,960 treatment, I still was feeling like I had symptoms. 258 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:21,920 So I was kind of, you know, curious as to what my test would 259 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:28,600 be and I waited a few weeks and then got retested and it came 260 00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:32,960 back negative. But while I was doing all of 261 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,560 that, I was, you know, disclosing to people, having 262 00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:39,680 conversations and then doing quite a bit of research for my 263 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:44,360 own self just to kind of really like understand this bacteria at 264 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,960 a in a more intimate way, you know? 265 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:54,040 Yeah, and it's a good point for me to define what ureaplasma is. 266 00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:58,120 It says here on Google AI mode. Ureaplasma is a group of 267 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:01,280 microscopic bacteria that naturally live in the human 268 00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,720 respiratory and urogenital tracts. 269 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:07,040 For most people, these bacteria are completely harmless 270 00:17:07,240 --> 00:17:09,079 commensals. Commensals. 271 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,520 I don't know how to say that. I've never seen this word 272 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,040 before. Meaning they exist in a peaceful 273 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:17,000 balance with the rest of the body's microbiome without 274 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:19,280 causing any symptoms. However, if the bacteria 275 00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:23,200 multiply excessively and cause an overgrowth, or if a person 276 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:26,560 has a compromised immune system, they can act as opportunistic 277 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,560 pathogens and lead to localized infections. 278 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:33,120 Yeah, so. The thing about it is, yeah, is 279 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:38,160 that like it is a commensal bacteria, which means that it 280 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:43,320 can live inside the body, in inside of a urogenital tract 281 00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:47,480 without causing like disturbance or like symptoms or any harm 282 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,360 necessarily. So commensal means that when 283 00:17:51,360 --> 00:17:54,760 there is an opportunity, it's like an opportunistic bacteria. 284 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:59,960 So when there's an opportunity for it to grow, then it will, if 285 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:03,240 everything is healthy, the pH and all of these things are in 286 00:18:03,240 --> 00:18:05,480 balance, then it won't grow, right? 287 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:08,800 This bacteria will just stay at like a base level. 288 00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:13,480 And that's why I feel like even the information that I was given 289 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:20,080 was very confusing because unlike other St. is that you 290 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,000 know, need to be treated immediately and are, you know, 291 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,040 it's the best one. They are treated immediately. 292 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:29,600 Urea plasma is a little different because it can live 293 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,160 inside like a healthy body, right, without causing 294 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,280 disturbance, but it can also live and cause disturbance, 295 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,000 right? And, and symptoms as well. 296 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,200 And so, yeah, it's, it's definitely a more nuanced 297 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,600 bacteria, right? Yeah. 298 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:52,240 And as I, you know, look at this, what comes to mind is 299 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,520 something that I've talked about in the past now where I think 300 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:59,360 that the way that we view viruses, bacteria, parasites and 301 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:04,720 fungi is so disconnected. Like we associate it with filth 302 00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:08,480 and dirtiness and a lack of cleanliness when it says it 303 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:13,160 right here that it just lives there and presents no symptoms 304 00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:16,400 like a lot of different things and organisms do. 305 00:19:16,680 --> 00:19:21,960 And it's like no harm, no foul until things are off balance. 306 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,160 And essentially the bacteria is doing the same shit that we do 307 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,680 to the earth. Like we eat, we populate, we 308 00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:33,200 shit, we create ways. And if that happens too fast in 309 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:38,680 a small localized area, boom, we get inflammation, we get the 310 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,520 spreading of the thing, we get swelling, we get pain, we get 311 00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:44,880 symptoms that just basically says all right, now we got to 312 00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:47,920 treat this thing. So being able to more. 313 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:53,960 So I don't want to say humanize bacteria necessarily, but look 314 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:58,200 at just how similar it behaves like we have this whole 315 00:19:58,200 --> 00:20:04,000 ecosystem that is. In on around our bodies and 316 00:20:04,360 --> 00:20:09,160 people are so quick to call themselves or others dirty or 317 00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:13,800 like reckless. And I think that that's one of 318 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:17,360 those things that perpetuate stigma is the language that we 319 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:22,600 use and the untruthfulness of what it means to live with a 320 00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:25,440 virus or bacteria or to have an infection. 321 00:20:25,720 --> 00:20:29,680 It's like, OK, now, you know, let's get it treated or manage 322 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:31,200 it. And that's what we all that it 323 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,960 takes. Yeah, I think that's a good 324 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:37,040 point, definitely to bring into the conversation. 325 00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:40,360 Yeah. And I think that's where a lot 326 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:42,960 of fear comes in too. Of course there's, there's like 327 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,080 the spectrum and the levels of fear that are, you know, 328 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:49,080 important in, in this discussion too. 329 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:53,200 But I think one element for sure is like the element that the 330 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:57,520 dirtiness because of this like stigma around in cleanliness, 331 00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:59,760 right? And bacteria, I think that is 332 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:04,600 definitely an element that brings fear when it could be 333 00:21:04,600 --> 00:21:07,960 different, you know what I mean? Like, it's a lot of, yeah, 334 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:11,400 bacteria isn't inherently a bad thing, you know what I mean? 335 00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:15,400 And so I think that that can be a definitely a lot more of a 336 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,760 nuanced conversation. And it's sad to see that it 337 00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:20,640 often times isn't, you know what I mean? 338 00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:23,520 Especially like in these types of conversations, right? 339 00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:27,240 Because bacteria is not unique to STI's, right? 340 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:30,720 So bacteria is like a larger thing and then it enters into, 341 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,880 right, the STI and sexual world too. 342 00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,520 So yeah, definitely a good point to bring into the conversation. 343 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,960 Yeah, I, I, I thought I was about to enter like some beef 344 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,400 online with somebody who herpes A parasite. 345 00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:48,160 And I was like, well, herpes does not behave like a parasite. 346 00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:53,040 Parasite thrive at the expense of their host's health. 347 00:21:53,120 --> 00:21:58,120 Like I, I had to explain that and fortunately the back and 348 00:21:58,120 --> 00:22:01,920 forth explanation was healthy and we were online and people 349 00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,480 were able to see that. But usually that ain't the case. 350 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:08,560 Like people aren't, if a lot of times I think people online just 351 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:12,120 want to be the last one to get, they're going to get the last 352 00:22:12,120 --> 00:22:14,160 word. They want to just be the loudest 353 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:15,160 and. Just astonish. 354 00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:18,880 It so it's pleasant. I was very I was very happy with 355 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:23,640 that engagement. All right, so I want to make a 356 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,400 clean transition. It's been a while since I 357 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,280 interviewed anybody on podcast. I'm like it's. 358 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:33,440 June, it's officially summer in 20 days, so we're in a new we're 359 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,440 in a new moment. We are. 360 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:36,000 We are. Yeah. 361 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:41,880 It's been at least a season. Yeah, I think it would have been 362 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:48,520 free March maybe. Yeah, I don't know. 363 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,680 But I'm I'm out of practice. Yeah, it's OK. 364 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,560 We can we can workshop, but I'll give you a SEC for that 365 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:57,320 transition. No, well, let's, let's, let's go 366 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:59,960 ahead and go into. So we talked about Ureaplasma, 367 00:22:59,960 --> 00:23:02,000 we talked about the treatment, we talked about like your 368 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:07,680 experience and then what my experience was for you having to 369 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:10,240 initiate the conversation in the communication. 370 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:14,040 Like I know you said you're used to this, but you and I are both 371 00:23:14,040 --> 00:23:18,680 in the field of sex education, so we're a little bit more 372 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,000 familiar with that. This is a normal conversation. 373 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:29,800 So I'm curious to know if you and I having the conversation or 374 00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,040 are you initiating the text that you did with me? 375 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:36,120 Like would it be a little bit different if it were someone not 376 00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:41,320 in the space or not familiar with or having the same comfort 377 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:46,200 level with sexual health as CIS? I don't know if that question's 378 00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,280 making sense. I get it. 379 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:54,520 I get it. Yeah, I think, I think it's, 380 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:59,600 it's important to, for each person to discern like who 381 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,040 they're speaking to and how they want to speak to that person, 382 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,600 right. I think like any level, like a 383 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:08,680 high level of respect and care should be included, of course. 384 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,720 And like each person you're talking to, you have a different 385 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,560 relationship with, they have you, you know, you have a 386 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,040 different connection with them, you have a, you know, a unique 387 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,960 experience with them perhaps. So I think that like each 388 00:24:20,960 --> 00:24:23,600 conversation can be a little different and shouldn't be 389 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:26,640 necessarily always the same. And I think it's actually really 390 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,680 hard to have the same conversation with different 391 00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:30,720 people 'cause we're different, you know? 392 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:39,200 But yeah, I think when I started the conversation with you, it 393 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:41,680 didn't feel, it felt pretty natural to me. 394 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:47,240 I think that because you're also in the sexual health and 395 00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:54,920 education kind of umbrella, I had more trust that you would be 396 00:24:54,920 --> 00:24:59,880 able to receive that information, you know, because 397 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:03,080 of the work that you do and, and your own personal life and how 398 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,720 you connect the work you do to like, you know, your life. 399 00:25:05,760 --> 00:25:13,040 And so I didn't feel, I felt very calm, like disclosing that 400 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:16,520 information and having that conversation via text. 401 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:21,360 And I think that with other people in my life who are not, 402 00:25:21,360 --> 00:25:27,480 you know, sexual educators or in this general work, there's also 403 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,720 a level of trust, of course, because these people are in my 404 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:32,680 life. But it is a little different. 405 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,800 And I would navigate conversations a little bit 406 00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:39,840 differently. Yeah, depending on each person 407 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,320 in my connection with them. Does that make sense? 408 00:25:43,400 --> 00:25:44,920 Yeah. And I'm, I'm glad you said that 409 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,480 because I think that's important too. 410 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:47,920 All right. Like we were talking a little 411 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,040 bit before this. It may not always be like what 412 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:55,080 you say, but how you say it too, and the different relationships 413 00:25:56,360 --> 00:25:59,520 being important to the conversation. 414 00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:04,840 And I talked to a lot of people who want to know how to disclose 415 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,600 in the sense of what do I say? And you're having a little bit 416 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,440 of back and forth curiosity where I'm like, OK, well, what's 417 00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,080 your relationship to the person? How do y'all communicate? 418 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,720 How do y'all meet? What do y'all do? 419 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:21,200 And over time, they say exactly what it is that they need to say 420 00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,480 to the person, which is always beautiful because I'm not giving 421 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:28,600 people a script to share this information. 422 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:34,480 But it's more so just an acknowledgement of what the 423 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:37,680 relationship is, the person that you're talking to and delivering 424 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,920 the information to them, the way that y'all interact. 425 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,320 Right. I think yeah, having like a 426 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:48,280 sense of authenticity, you know, and making the conversation feel 427 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,680 like more like you is always helpful for me. 428 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:54,120 And so I I think it can be helpful for other people. 429 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,800 I think that definitely though, like I have a lot of people in 430 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,840 my life who do want maybe a script or just want to feel more 431 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:03,560 confident having these conversations. 432 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:08,760 And I do think that having like a little mock scripts is always 433 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,320 helpful and makes it a little more. 434 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:12,920 Playful would you be? Yeah. 435 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:14,360 Would you be like a little box script? 436 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,880 Can you give? Me, I remember in the beginning 437 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:21,720 of my journey before, you know, I was studying and in the work 438 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:25,040 that I am in now, just when I was, you know, 18 year old, 19 439 00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:29,080 year old me just living life and having my, you know, sexual 440 00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:34,160 endeavors. I, yeah, I was a very sexual 441 00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:38,280 person and I wanted to explore a lot and I was naturally curious 442 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:41,200 about a lot. And so I would have a lot of 443 00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:45,280 conversations and, you know, have a had a lot of experiences. 444 00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:49,880 And I feel like I made little scripts for myself because I 445 00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:52,600 didn't know anybody who had herpes at the time. 446 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:57,520 I knew maybe like one person and most of the people that I, that 447 00:27:57,520 --> 00:28:00,560 I was having sex with didn't have herpes or any STI. 448 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,760 So I kind of felt alone in the journey. 449 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:08,040 And so I would make myself little scripts and then, you 450 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:12,560 know, sometimes I'd practice them, sometimes I would edit 451 00:28:12,560 --> 00:28:14,960 them. Sometimes I didn't have a script 452 00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,200 in in the moment. Of course, just, you know, what 453 00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:22,000 would come out came out. But I do think that it kind of 454 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,960 helped me refine like what words I like to use and that feel good 455 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:30,840 for me, Not necessarily in a way where it's like a copy paste. 456 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,560 And, and now I'm not like letting myself be authentic for 457 00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:37,360 like what I want to say in the moment, but more as a way of 458 00:28:37,360 --> 00:28:41,200 like, yeah, like when you're in theater and you have a little 459 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:43,720 script and then you go off script a little, but you have a 460 00:28:43,720 --> 00:28:47,640 little like base template to like make you feel good. 461 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:50,680 And you can choose what you want to include on the script. 462 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,800 You know, it's can be empowering 'cause it's not like somebody's 463 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:56,200 giving you a script and you're forced to read it. 464 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:58,840 It's more like you are creating the script. 465 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:02,920 And I think that that can be useful for people who are less 466 00:29:02,920 --> 00:29:06,720 familiar with these conversations, who struggle 467 00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,640 getting words out, you know, who struggle with communication. 468 00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:14,160 So it's, it's an idea. It's it's served me in in 469 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:15,920 different moments of my life for sure. 470 00:29:17,400 --> 00:29:20,920 Yeah, I never thought about that. 471 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,640 Like I, I think I've always been the kind of person to just like 472 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:27,720 I'm going to do the thing and then adjust for next time. 473 00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,480 And that should got me in trouble. 474 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,520 Actually, nothing. I'm thinking about it, but 475 00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:37,840 because you can recalibrate in such an extreme to where right 476 00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,320 the way that I deliver information to one person, 477 00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,680 they'd be like, I wish you would have done it this way. 478 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,760 And I'm like, all right, bet moving forward, I'll deliver it 479 00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,320 this way. But then the next person you 480 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:48,560 deliver the information to, which is that you would have 481 00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:53,000 done it the original way and authenticity being the word that 482 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,520 you use. I see the importance of that, 483 00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:00,520 the importance of, Hey, you know, there's no right or wrong. 484 00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,240 There's real and not real in in this context, right? 485 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:05,640 Like we're not talking about ethics. 486 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:08,520 We're talking about and delivering the information. 487 00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:12,200 You can do it in an authentic way or an inauthentic way. 488 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:17,000 And so the only wrong way is to deliver it in a way that's not 489 00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,680 true to you. And if you're somebody who, you 490 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:23,480 know, you use certain words, right, and you know, the 491 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:27,480 relationship, you may say it a little bit differently, right? 492 00:30:27,480 --> 00:30:32,840 So, yeah, I, I appreciate that offering. 493 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:41,080 So there's a perspective that is helpful to anybody who likes 494 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,200 goods. Yeah, and like also too, I think 495 00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:49,880 when I say scripts, I don't mean to like universalize anything. 496 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,000 Like I think that's not useful for anyone. 497 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,320 Of course, like the way you speak is going to be different 498 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:57,400 than the way I speak because of our identities that we hold, the 499 00:30:57,400 --> 00:31:00,480 way we even view language, the languages we may even know. 500 00:31:00,480 --> 00:31:04,960 Like, it goes deep, you know? And so scripts can I, when I say 501 00:31:04,960 --> 00:31:08,160 scripts, I really do mean like, you know, take what serves you 502 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:12,200 and leave what doesn't 'cause if I were to create a script and 503 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:14,720 you were to read it, you might be like, oh, this is a great 504 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,000 script for you. But like, how would, why would I 505 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,440 say this? You know what I mean? 506 00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,400 And I'm sure the way that I speak is not the way that you, 507 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:23,440 you know, speak. And so if you were to make a 508 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:26,720 script for me, maybe there was some pieces that I would, you 509 00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,680 know, relate to and others that I wouldn't. 510 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:31,120 So scripts can be edited, you know. 511 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,120 Yeah. All right. 512 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:36,560 So if somebody wants to make their own script, where should 513 00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:40,640 they start? Yeah, well, I was thinking about 514 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:44,600 this and writing this, you know, reflecting about this a little 515 00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:48,440 bit in my blog about, you know, urea plasma and then, right, 516 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:52,600 disclosing and the conversation and, you know, when it happens 517 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,320 via text versus in person and all of those elements. 518 00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:01,520 And yeah, I think that disclosing any sort of change in 519 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:06,320 our body can be anxiety producing or, you know, can 520 00:32:06,480 --> 00:32:10,640 create complicated feelings, whether that's a new pain that 521 00:32:10,640 --> 00:32:15,360 we have or something even maybe beautiful and more positive or, 522 00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:18,520 you know, an STI, right. So I think anytime there's a 523 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,120 change there, you know, is just newness, right? 524 00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:26,040 And I know that like in my disclosure journey, I have 525 00:32:26,040 --> 00:32:28,720 edited and come a long way in the types of conversations that 526 00:32:28,720 --> 00:32:32,560 I have with people and how I engage in these conversations. 527 00:32:33,120 --> 00:32:36,360 And just like you said, there's no like, right way to do it. 528 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,600 Of course, there are some ways that are very hurtful and 529 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:41,880 disrespectful. And like, you know, there's 530 00:32:41,880 --> 00:32:46,840 certain elements that are, I think like important to add into 531 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,440 a conversation, but I don't really think there is one right 532 00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:52,000 way, like you said, to have these conversations. 533 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:58,360 And yeah, I think that in making a script, what I like to think 534 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:03,040 about is, yeah, what I like to think about is my personality. 535 00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,600 I like to think about the experiences I've had. 536 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:11,760 I like to think about like what identities I hold cuz all of 537 00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:15,440 these things already naturally influence the work that I do and 538 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:19,640 how I move everyday. And I think that's the beauty of 539 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:23,720 people holding identities and having these identities mix, 540 00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:27,360 right? And so I would yeah, just like 541 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:31,560 sit down and be like, OK, what? Like what are a few words I 542 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:33,240 would use to describe my personality? 543 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:37,800 You know, am I naturally more like spunky and talk and this 544 00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:39,320 kind of way? Am I naturally a little bit more 545 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:44,040 shy and quiet or, you know, like, what are some ways, you 546 00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:45,880 know, that you could describe your personality? 547 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,600 Like I would start there and then, you know, talk and think 548 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,760 through maybe some experiences I've had that are like notable 549 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:56,280 that come to mind, some identities that I hold that are, 550 00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,040 you know, relevant and like just kind of let all of those things 551 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:04,080 sit together and then be like, what could I make from this, you 552 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:07,680 know? And so an example of that, let's 553 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:11,719 say, is an example that I don't do anymore, but my old script 554 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:16,520 just for like inspo or just to kind of visualize, I guess, was 555 00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:24,040 when I was younger, I identified as fully extroverted, like very 556 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,880 spunky, very like outgoing. So that would be like a 557 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:30,120 personality element, right? Of like, OK, I know that I have 558 00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:34,480 conversations usually with that in mind and people like can feel 559 00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:37,760 that, right? And then I had some identities 560 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:39,600 that I was holding at the time, right? 561 00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:43,560 Of being a highly sexual person at the time and really wanting 562 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:47,080 to explore, but also this new identity of having herpes and 563 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:51,639 feeling, you know, shame. And I had a lot of other 564 00:34:51,639 --> 00:34:55,880 identities being a woman and amongst many other things. 565 00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:58,640 So I was holding all of that in, in there as well. 566 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:04,560 And I also had the more personal emotional identity of being like 567 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,920 the caretaker in a lot of dynamic dynamics. 568 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,520 And that came into play when I had conversations of any kind 569 00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:14,640 often. And so that my beginning script 570 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:17,800 that I would often do was like in the very beginning of the 571 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,920 conversation, it would be like very spunky and outgoing and 572 00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:23,520 very like talkative. I would bring that like 573 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:27,680 personality into it. And then towards the middle when 574 00:35:27,680 --> 00:35:32,760 I started getting into the like, OK, I have herpes and the kind 575 00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:35,960 of the shame and that kind of new identity would get brought 576 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:42,200 in somehow into the conversation and the stigma would come in 577 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:45,160 there. And then I would put on that 578 00:35:45,160 --> 00:35:49,640 caretaker role and like really jam packed the conversation with 579 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:52,520 like all the facts and all the details as a way to like be 580 00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:56,360 caring for the other person and really like putting them above 581 00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,880 me in, in a way of like what they might need in the 582 00:35:59,880 --> 00:36:02,160 conversation, right? So like really giving it all the 583 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:07,200 facts and all the resources and like everything you may need to 584 00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:10,200 know and even about me, just like spilling so much, right? 585 00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,320 So I give this example not as like something that I do now, 586 00:36:14,640 --> 00:36:17,480 but as you know, holding tenderness for a script that I 587 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,840 did have that worked for me at the time because of what I was 588 00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:24,040 exploring at the time that felt authentic to me in the moment. 589 00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:26,360 If I were to do that now, it wouldn't feel. 590 00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:29,120 But again, even authenticity comes in waves and like we 591 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:30,960 change all the time as people so. 592 00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:40,680 I remember an old text that I've sent and like parts of it, and 593 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:43,640 it's funny in hindsight. I've never used it yet, but 594 00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:48,200 remember I, I, I talked about it in the No Shame in This Game 595 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,960 documentary, and it always gets a good chuckle. 596 00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:55,560 But I used to send a text and be like, all right, hey, before you 597 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:58,720 fall madly in love with me, I got something I need to tell 598 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:00,200 you. I need to tell you I got herpes, 599 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:02,720 right? Because I'm such an awesome 600 00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:04,320 person. I want you to be able to make 601 00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:08,320 that decision from a place of like not being madly in love 602 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:11,640 with me. And on one hand it's like, oh, 603 00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,080 this is a confident ass person. But then on the other hand, I'm 604 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:17,840 like offering this as a disclaimer. 605 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:20,960 In a way. And it made the process of 606 00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:25,000 initiating that discussion, right feel like a disclosure, 607 00:37:25,000 --> 00:37:26,120 right? When you sign in Google 608 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:29,520 documents. And it always would make like a 609 00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:34,240 me verse you dynamic when the reality is that we're talking 610 00:37:34,240 --> 00:37:36,600 about our sexual health together. 611 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:39,520 So thinking about it as a conversation rather than a 612 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:44,560 confession or a discussion rather than a disclosure is how 613 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:47,240 to make it a collaborative effort. 614 00:37:47,240 --> 00:37:50,640 It's me and you, you know, collaborating with this event, 615 00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:52,720 which is our sexual health, right? 616 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,160 Checking in with you on time, how much time you got. 617 00:37:57,160 --> 00:37:58,520 So I can. Yeah, I feel. 618 00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:01,440 Like I got, I feel like I got a good 10-15 minutes. 619 00:38:01,440 --> 00:38:05,040 We can get into some juicy things and then you know. 620 00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,160 Yeah, yeah, let's, let's plan the close it out thing at the 621 00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:11,920 top of or the half the 30, whatever. 30 is for. 622 00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:13,480 You. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 623 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,880 All right. Is there anything else that you 624 00:38:16,880 --> 00:38:21,080 want to make sure that we cover before, like closing things out? 625 00:38:22,760 --> 00:38:25,760 Yeah. I mean, I think that we got 626 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,840 into, you know, the the basics here. 627 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:36,280 I'm curious about your Yeah, you're, you said that. 628 00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:38,280 I mean, in the beginning we talked a little bit about like 629 00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,680 our conversation. How did, how do you feel as a, 630 00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:46,560 you know, sex educator, sexual health educator in the field, 631 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:48,680 like receiving the text that I sent? 632 00:38:48,680 --> 00:38:51,640 And I don't know, I like what you just said about, you know, 633 00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:57,720 it is a conversation. It's not a confession and I like 634 00:38:57,720 --> 00:39:00,400 the alliteration there. It's like the two C's. 635 00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:03,440 It's just I really like that phrase. 636 00:39:03,440 --> 00:39:07,400 It's not a confession. Like I don't know why we're all 637 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:11,040 feeling like, and I've been there, you know, it's no shame. 638 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:14,360 But why are it's like so confession based, you know, like 639 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:20,400 we're not out here confessing like it's it's it's Co created. 640 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:23,480 You know what I mean? This is actually, you know, Co 641 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:25,880 created. And so yeah, how did you feel 642 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,000 about my text and how are you feeling now? 643 00:39:29,040 --> 00:39:32,600 And, you know, kind of, I guess this was about maybe a month, a 644 00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:34,880 little over a month ago, month and a half ago. 645 00:39:34,880 --> 00:39:39,520 So yeah, just checking in. Yeah, I appreciate that. 646 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:44,840 The way that I felt about the communication. 647 00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,560 Is that what you how I felt about the communication or how I 648 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:48,880 felt period? What'd you read? 649 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,560 In general, yeah. And then like adding in like 650 00:39:51,560 --> 00:39:54,200 that we're, you know, that we're both sexual health educators and 651 00:39:54,200 --> 00:39:56,480 all this stuff too, like adding that in there. 652 00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:01,120 That's never happened where somebody reached out to me and 653 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:04,960 said hey. You, I might have something. 654 00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:07,320 I might have exposed you to it. You should get it. 655 00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:12,360 I'm thinking about it now and I'm running through and no, it's 656 00:40:12,360 --> 00:40:19,840 just not happened. Yeah, I've had people, you know, 657 00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:22,960 tell me they have herpes for and I first, and I always fuck with 658 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:25,560 them about it. Like if I don't have to say 659 00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,560 anything first, especially if the person has no idea who I am, 660 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,200 I'm always like, oh, doesn't everybody have that? 661 00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:33,520 Like, I'll just say something like that. 662 00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:39,720 And it's a fun space to be in when, you know, someone doesn't 663 00:40:39,720 --> 00:40:45,040 know what I do or who I am or like, yeah, so I get to, like, 664 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:50,360 play the role of a civilian in the sexual conversation space. 665 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:53,680 And I'm not the educator or the caretaker in that sense. 666 00:40:53,680 --> 00:40:54,840 Right. So. 667 00:40:56,000 --> 00:41:00,760 Yeah, I remember having to have a committee, a committee, I 668 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:03,600 can't even say the word, a chlamydia conversation with 669 00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:06,400 partners. And that was received well, but 670 00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:08,760 I expected that to be received poorly. 671 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,120 And it makes me think, like a lot of the people that I talked 672 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,320 to have the expectation that when they tell someone they have 673 00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:17,040 herpes, that they're going to have a drink thrown in their 674 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:19,280 face, that they're going to be blasted on the Internet. 675 00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:23,840 And that is literally never been my experience for as many times 676 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:27,760 as I've told people that I have herpes or even in sharing with 677 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:32,040 somebody or my partners at the time that I had chlamydia or 678 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,400 even having to discuss ureaplasma. 679 00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:41,800 So there are three instances of this kind of this discussion 680 00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:45,360 initiation where nothing bad has happened. 681 00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,600 It's actually just led to, you know, beautiful experiences 682 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:53,080 later and conversations and you know, you see that there can be 683 00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:59,200 healthy communication. So how I felt was like grateful, 684 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,280 like the gratitude of being the kind of person that, all right, 685 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,120 you feel like you can tell that too. 686 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:08,520 Because I think being a straight man, being a straight black man, 687 00:42:08,520 --> 00:42:11,560 let me say that 'cause I know that a lot of the people that I 688 00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:14,840 talked to who have experiences with straight black men, they're 689 00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:17,360 like, oh, I can never say that. Or, oh, I didn't realize you 690 00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:20,920 were this open minded. And I get a lot of those kinds 691 00:42:20,920 --> 00:42:25,040 of conversations just because of the stigma, stereotypes that 692 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:29,760 come with being a black man and the expectations of not being 693 00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:33,880 able to communicate, I guess. But yeah, it it was just 694 00:42:34,080 --> 00:42:36,760 validating for me to to be seen as a person that can be 695 00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,320 communicated with about something vulnerable. 696 00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:41,520 And yeah, I was just grateful for it. 697 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:46,240 Yeah, me as well. Yeah, grateful for sure. 698 00:42:46,240 --> 00:42:50,680 Grateful for sure and I think it's very important yeah to to 699 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:54,320 acknowledge our identities and what people may project on to us 700 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,920 because of that. Like I think that's very 701 00:42:55,920 --> 00:43:00,000 important in the in sex work and sexual health work and and, and 702 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:03,160 creating intimacy with others. You know, it's like we all have 703 00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,880 different experiences and because of that, that people may 704 00:43:05,880 --> 00:43:09,040 project things onto US. You know, like you just said, a 705 00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:13,360 lot of people don't assume maybe that you are going to be open 706 00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,280 about this because of the stereotypes of, you know, being 707 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,960 a black man who is, you know, straight. 708 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,560 And so it's like, what does it mean to hold that identity, 709 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:24,120 right? Yeah. 710 00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:29,880 As far as now, yeah, like having had the experience and just been 711 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,360 on the other side of it and having the conversations with 712 00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:37,280 the other partners that I've had, I feel, yeah, like I'm, I, 713 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:40,920 I know a little bit more about something that I didn't know 714 00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:46,680 about, and it's nice to be able to be able to speak to it. 715 00:43:47,720 --> 00:43:49,760 This thing that I had no idea existed. 716 00:43:49,760 --> 00:43:52,840 And I even had that come up in a conversation with someone, I was 717 00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:54,320 like, yeah, I was just for these things. 718 00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:58,720 And yeah, urea plasma as well recently, and a lot of people 719 00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:03,160 don't know about that. Oh yeah, that one sucks. 720 00:44:03,160 --> 00:44:07,040 Like I have a friend who and you'd be surprised at what 721 00:44:07,040 --> 00:44:10,520 happens when we initiate and invite these kinds of 722 00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,840 conversations into our life. Like, everybody want to, 723 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,480 everybody want to fuck, but don't nobody want to talk about 724 00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:18,040 fucking, right? I know. 725 00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:22,840 And that is an important piece that we can I think end today 726 00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:27,200 and really like discuss a little bit because yeah, I noticed that 727 00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:28,720 a lot. I know we've talked about that a 728 00:44:28,720 --> 00:44:31,880 lot. And I think that like beyond 729 00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:35,000 like the accuracy of getting tested and like all of the like, 730 00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,720 more logistical things that sometimes need to be included in 731 00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:39,440 these kinds of conversations, right? 732 00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:44,440 And like spreading and, you know, all of that, all of that. 733 00:44:44,440 --> 00:44:47,880 I think that there's also an element of, yeah, like 734 00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:51,320 connecting with people and having these conversations and 735 00:44:51,320 --> 00:44:54,560 just like doing it in a way that feels connected, right? 736 00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:58,760 Beyond giving the like the facts and the necessary info. 737 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:04,240 It's like, can we can we have these conversations before 738 00:45:04,240 --> 00:45:08,840 having sex that actually make us want to have sex like that make 739 00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:12,480 us feel inspired and, and it doesn't need to be a chore. 740 00:45:12,480 --> 00:45:15,360 And I feel like a lot of times and I understand why it can't 741 00:45:15,360 --> 00:45:18,720 feel like that. Like it is heavy and it's OK for 742 00:45:18,720 --> 00:45:21,360 it to be heavy, you know, doesn't need to be light all the 743 00:45:21,360 --> 00:45:23,280 time. But like, can we make these 744 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,800 conversations feel lighter when there is space for it to be 745 00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:30,840 lighter? And can we make them feel sexy? 746 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:34,840 Because I don't know where along the along the way conversations, 747 00:45:34,840 --> 00:45:36,960 I guess just got seen as not sexy. 748 00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:41,480 And I've had people in my life who like have never had a 749 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:45,280 conversation before sex. And I think a lot of people 750 00:45:45,680 --> 00:45:51,440 operate with with that, with that path, you know, where it's 751 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:54,200 the conversation maybe is after, if anything. 752 00:45:55,640 --> 00:45:59,360 And I want conversations to be sexy for people, if that's what 753 00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:00,880 I'm here to do, you know what I mean? 754 00:46:00,880 --> 00:46:02,680 And I know that you agree with that. 755 00:46:03,520 --> 00:46:06,560 Yeah, absolutely. I was laughing over there 756 00:46:06,560 --> 00:46:09,440 because I was thinking of like when you said conversations 757 00:46:09,440 --> 00:46:13,000 happening after because like people will have sex and then 758 00:46:13,000 --> 00:46:16,160 like you had that post nut clarity and you're like oh shit. 759 00:46:16,400 --> 00:46:19,240 And you ain't got nothing. Do you like do you have anything 760 00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:22,480 after just not using a condom at all? 761 00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:24,480 Right, like now you want to have this conversation? 762 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,320 Well, I don't know. So that was just why I was 763 00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:29,440 laughing if that shows up on the video. 764 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:34,440 But yes, the conversation doesn't need to be dreaded. 765 00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:36,600 I always say it can be playful, right? 766 00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:39,800 Like you, you eat a lot of fruit, right? 767 00:46:39,800 --> 00:46:42,920 So it can be like a ooh, damn, I'm trying to be that fruit. 768 00:46:42,920 --> 00:46:48,320 What's up? Like, yeah, hey, you know, it 769 00:46:48,320 --> 00:46:50,720 could be. Playful, exactly. 770 00:46:50,720 --> 00:46:55,320 And like discerning too. Like if it doesn't like not 771 00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:58,680 forcing it to be playful, if the energy of everybody involved is 772 00:46:58,680 --> 00:47:01,400 heavy that day, make it heavy, you know what I mean? 773 00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:05,120 But if the energy can be playful and it can be light, like it can 774 00:47:05,120 --> 00:47:09,120 go down that path, we don't it doesn't need to be heavy because 775 00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,400 it is inherently a conversation about sex. 776 00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:15,440 You know what I mean? And yeah, like having these 777 00:47:15,440 --> 00:47:18,760 conversations is hard. I think that we both, you know, 778 00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:22,280 talk to folks in our work. And that is echoed right in a 779 00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:28,720 lot of people's experiences. But yeah, if I could, if I could 780 00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:32,040 help myself and help other folks, like I just would really 781 00:47:32,040 --> 00:47:36,400 love it if we could all, you know, as a, as a community, as a 782 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:40,600 society, be a little bit more open to saying things out loud, 783 00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:45,000 you know, to saying what we want out loud, right? 784 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:46,920 Yeah. And that's it. 785 00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:51,080 Ah, yeah, more conversations can be had from this, but we, we 786 00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:56,400 close them out at that window. But yeah, speaking about not 787 00:47:56,400 --> 00:48:00,000 just the safety piece, but the pleasure piece, sex is supposed 788 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,000 to be fine. And I think people forget that. 789 00:48:02,400 --> 00:48:07,240 And roller coasters are fine if you just, like, run on a roller 790 00:48:07,240 --> 00:48:10,800 coaster and you don't recognize the possible outcomes of what 791 00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:14,680 happens if you just run up the racks of the roller coaster, you 792 00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:17,440 might get hit. But there's all these safety 793 00:48:17,440 --> 00:48:20,520 protocols that are in place and, you know, they actually just 794 00:48:20,520 --> 00:48:24,120 strap up, put your belt on and enjoy the ride, right? 795 00:48:24,480 --> 00:48:31,880 So balancing out the spectrum of safety and pleasure, and I don't 796 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:34,600 really like using the word safety because it implies an 797 00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:37,360 inherent danger, but that's the best word we got right now, 798 00:48:37,560 --> 00:48:40,480 right? And language is important. 799 00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:48,160 So recognizing that safe sex is commutative sex, and that is how 800 00:48:48,160 --> 00:48:51,720 we also begin to expand into that bubble of pleasure as well. 801 00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:57,640 So if I were to leave this off at any kind of a note, I think 802 00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,480 it would be that say sex is commutative sex. 803 00:49:00,480 --> 00:49:03,840 And thank you for your communication. 804 00:49:04,240 --> 00:49:06,320 You are welcome, thank you for yours. 805 00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:09,480 And yeah, conversations can be sexy. 806 00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:11,720 I'll just leave it at that. They don't have to be, but they 807 00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:15,320 can be you. Know and how can people connect 808 00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:18,560 with you? Yeah, if people want to connect 809 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:23,040 with me, they can follow me on Instagram at Pomegranate 810 00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:26,800 Pleasure and reach out to me on there. 811 00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:31,720 They can read some of my blog, which is everything juicy. 812 00:49:31,720 --> 00:49:35,960 It's a Wix site. It's also linked on my Instagram 813 00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:40,440 and they can find it through this podcast or if they want to 814 00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:44,080 e-mail me they can also e-mail me as well. 815 00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:48,160 I have a e-mail that is open to folks if they want to e-mail me 816 00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:53,200 and it is pomegranate pleasure. TW for tamarweir@gmail.com. 817 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:55,920 All right. Thank you so much. 818 00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:59,800 Thank you. That concludes this episode of 819 00:49:59,800 --> 00:50:01,480 Something Positive for positive people. 820 00:50:01,480 --> 00:50:05,880 Please like rate review, share, subscribe to this podcast, the 821 00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:08,880 newsletter as well. It's just if you Google herpes 822 00:50:08,880 --> 00:50:11,120 newsletter, it's like the first thing that shows up. 823 00:50:11,120 --> 00:50:14,400 So you can be up to speed with our updates and events. 824 00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:19,680 August 30th, we have the Herpes Stigma Expo in New York City. 825 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:23,640 So come through, we're going to be doing some yoga stuff to help 826 00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:25,480 with stigma. We're going to have guest 827 00:50:25,480 --> 00:50:27,840 speakers. We're going to have Jordan 828 00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:31,800 Jones, the podcast host of Vaginas, Vulvas and Vibrators, 829 00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:35,480 who's going to do a fun pleasure based activity for us. 830 00:50:35,760 --> 00:50:38,000 And then we'll do some role plays where people can get 831 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,200 practice talking about their sexual health status with 832 00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:42,920 partners. We'll have some prizes and gift 833 00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:46,280 cards for people who want to be in our social media script. 834 00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:49,840 And yeah, we'll have food and it'll be a good time. 835 00:50:49,840 --> 00:50:54,200 All right, until next time y'all stay present.