Hi, I'm Courtney, welcome to Something Positive for Positive
people. Today I'm here with 26 year old
Fleur in Australia. She is in marketing Caucasian
female who is heterosexual and just broke out of monogamy.
Is that right? So wait, let's start there.
So you said you used to be in monogamous relationship and now
you are what? So polyamorous.
OK, so Poly meaning many and amorous meaning loves.
So basically multiple partners. I myself have one partner, a
male partner, and he has another girlfriend, another female
partner, and yeah, she has another couple of male and
female partners as well. So I'm kind of part of a Poly
web, but I'm not exactly sure where I sit on the Poly
monogamous scale myself at the moment.
It's all exploration. So that makes sense about the
Amor cause Amor means love in French.
Is it French or is that Spanish? I'm bad with languages.
I think so pretty for French MI Amor.
Yeah it's gotta be French. I didn't know that that was what
it meant. I just thought polyamorous is
like mini amorous. I never ever made the
association with it being the word love.
Yeah, so that only. That only started last year and
it's, it's been a really interesting experience, but I'm,
I'm, I'm really enjoying it so far.
Oh, what made you explore it? Pretty much I fell for a guy
who's polyamorous and I basically have done a lot of lot
of learning and a lot of reading and had a lot of experience I
suppose in the last year about what's involved with a
polyamorous dynamic widely 'cause it can involve many
people. And I, I felt really comfortable
the people that I'm with in this Poly, my metamorse.
So the partners of my partners are very commutative,
commutative, very lovely, and very, very honest.
So yeah, it's been a good fit. And very fulfilling.
So obvious question, do I guess they feel OK about you having
herpes but do they have it as well?
Or is it a mix of people who do and don't have it?
No, none of my current sexual partner.
So my male partner is my only partner.
None of the others have any sexually transmitted diseases or
infections. But it was a consideration I was
told by by, yeah, my male partner and his other female
partner that it was a consideration that they
consulted everybody in the Poly or actually, I suppose going
further with me if they were comfortable with the fact that I
had an STD, OK having having herpes and whether they were
basically OK with any risk that was involved with.
That and which type do you have and how long have you had it?
I have HSV 2 genital herpes and I've had it for just about six
years. Now, did you say 10 years, 606?
OK. I was like, damn.
I didn't say you were 26. OK.
I would have sucked to get it at 16.
Yeah. Yeah.
So I will take us back to that point in time.
When you were diagnosed, how did you find out you had HSV 2?
I contracted HSV 2 from a sexual partner, male partner that I'd
only been dating for about two to three months.
And really, he didn't disclose to me until something was very
evidently wrong with me, basically that I was showing the
physical symptoms of herpes. And we had that conversation,
and that didn't really go well. And that very shortly thereafter
led to the breakdown about our relationship and a pretty rough
time. Yeah, so.
How did the conversation go? I can't remember very clearly,
but I remember it was a phone call.
You called him the way. In which it was a it was
delivered. I talked about feeling a bit
kind of unwell, you know, a bit thievery, you know, itching, I
suppose as well. And he's like, oh, by the way,
like you should know that I have this, but like, and I'm having
an outbreak right now. But you'll be fine.
That's what he that's what he said to you.
Yeah. So he didn't tell you until you
began to show visible signs. At this point, you hadn't gone
to the doctor yet, right? No, I hadn't gone to the doctor,
and yes, he only told me when my physical symptoms were showing.
So really, he told me too late. So when you after you told him,
did you ever make it to the doctor or how long did it take
you to go if you did go? I can't remember too clearly,
but I was basically at that point points in and out of the
doctors virtually every week or few days kind of thing.
And then, you know, I had to have, you know, blood tests and
swab done and had to wait a week for the results.
And I got the results and I still remember that that moment
so clearly. And I remember calling then
partner after the appointment and I remember feeling bad that
he would feel bad. I didn't feel bad for myself or
I suppose any anger that I was lied to by him.
So it was a very strange experience.
Was it diagnosis that day? Did you kind of feel like, well,
even though you knew it came from him, Like were you upset
that were you upset with yourself for contracting it?
I felt upset that I was giving bad news to him.
And I, I suppose at the time I, I really, really liked him and I
didn't want it to affect the relationship, but I, yeah, I, I
felt bad and like, oh, like, yeah, it, it, I felt like it was
my fault as well. But I, I I was where I was.
You know now that that was not your fault, right?
I know. That was not and.
It took me many months to actually get to that point of
anger, you know, realizing the feeling that I had not been
politely or properly disclosed to or being given the dignity of
honesty and openness. And that kind of not kind of it
fully spurned me in with every single guy I dated or sexual
partner I had after that, to be honest and to not be that guy
and what he did to me, I have never had sexual contact with
the person and not disclosed to them, right?
Regardless of whether that's, you know, whatever base or
whatever, whatever degree, I've always disclosed and I've never
wanted to be that person that he was to me.
Yeah. Did you guys continue the
relationship or was it ended after your diagnosis?
We continued for I think it was another few weeks.
Oh, that didn't last as long near as I thought it would.
Yeah. And what really turned the knife
in that experience for me was he broke up with me.
He came to my house and broke up with me and said that the spark
had disappeared to him. And, you know, I, I was in a
very vulnerable state at that stage.
And I remember bursting into tears and saying that, you know,
you, you've given me an STD, you've given me herpes.
You know, you've done this to me.
And now I'm single. Like, basically, like, get out
of my house. Fuck you and get out of my
house. Yeah.
Wait, you can't. You can't curse on this podcast?
I'm gonna have to edit that out. That's fine.
I'm kidding. No, I do it all the time.
Yeah, alright. And then over the next few
months after that, 'cause he was a friend of a friend, he
basically then proceeded to still like text and try to call
me just to talk or try be friends or whenever he was drunk
and feeling sorry for himself or whatever it is.
Like it sucks that we can't be friends.
And I remember saying it sucks that you gave me.
Yeah. So do you think that he did
that? Just do you think he did that
just to like keep you like from telling other people?
Did he just try and keep you as a friend and make sure oh
hopefully you don't tell anyone else or was it genuine?
Well obviously if he's just doing it while he was drunk it
wasn't genuine then, right? Yeah, I think he just wanted to
feel better about himself, like he wanted some kind of
forgiveness or a pat on the back that, oh, you did this bad
thing, but it'll be alright, It'll be OK.
But that that was so far from the truth.
I was a wreck at the time and like, I was not going to shield
that. Yeah, now when you kicked him
out, this was the last monogamous relationship you were
in, correct? No, it wasn't.
Oh, OK, So what happened after you?
After this guy? You kicked him out.
Now you have herpes and you're single.
What's next for floor? So literally the next thing that
happened is I started seeing a psychologist.
I basically had voice to a breakdown just because the whole
experience is so traumatic. So myself was damaged goods and
I didn't think myself worthy of anything from like a hug to a
compliment to anything. Basically, I didn't feel worthy
of like sexual contact pretty much that I was dirty.
So I went to a psychologist for at least six months and that
kind of helped me move from the stage of or so blaming so pity
through to anger and kind of starting to rebuild myself
relationship wise. I eventually started seeing and
dating other guys and so my diagnosis was 2012 and 2014.
I had my next sexual partner who I was open and honest with as
well. You didn't have sex for two
years. No, I didn't.
I was, I was full of shame and fear and self pity.
So yeah, it was a little wild for me.
Or I got confident enough. It wasn't that I not so much
that I didn't trust other people, it was that I didn't
trust myself. So I I got to a place where I
felt a bit more comfortable and was basically comfortable being
emotionally and sexually intimate with someone.
That's that's big. Like that's really big of you to
be able to hold out and recognize why you're holding
out. Like you knew that you were in a
vulnerable state and that it was good for you to recover yourself
before bringing someone else into the the madness, so to
speak. And in that time, I did a lot of
like proper research, you know, beyond good old doctor Google,
you know, I, I, I saw my doctor a couple of times after that and
just asked, you know, if they had any good resources.
And yeah, in that time I got to know other people in my wider
circle of friends that actually had herpes as well, the same
type as me or even, you know, HSV 1.
And it wasn't until. How did you find that out?
Pardon. How did you find out your
friends at it? What did you eventually just
tell them and then they opened up to you about it?
Yeah, it was kind of like that, yeah.
There were just situations where, you know, I, I in my
vulnerable state in that year or two after where I would disclose
just a friends and be quite emotional.
And then afterwards, one friend did come back to me privately
and say said, you know, me too. And that that was when I really
started to turn a corner because up until that point, I felt so
isolated. So, so isolated within myself
and from the world. So yeah.
OK. And when you told your other
friends, now this is one that had it too, who came back to you
later and said me too. How did your other friends react
to it? Were they cool about it?
Were they judgmental? What did they step back from you
or what? The important friends were fine
about it. I suppose it was just an element
of shock because I think the most people, I was the first
person to have and live with an STD and let alone disclose it.
Yeah. So I, I think that was just, you
know, I was, I was that first person for so many people.
So quite a few people weren't sure exactly how to react, but
their first question was always are you OK or how how you were
going so. Yeah, OK.
Majority of people. Being very cool about it,
there's been the odd person that I've kind of grown apart from
that, yeah, Other reasons contributed to that as well, so
it's not a big deal. Yeah, and when people typically
disclose their friends, I know that I've disclosed to, well,
shit like one by one, it always got easier to do.
Would you say that it was the same for you?
Yeah, definitely. Disclosing I think is a a big
deal and takes a lot of bravery, whether it's friends, family or
a partner really. So I, I admire everyone, whoever
ever thinks about disclosing, it's definitely the right thing
to do. But it got so much easier, you
know, particularly with every single partner or boyfriend that
I had after that as well. So practice does help make it
easier. That is good.
That's good. Now in dating, did you get a lot
of rejections? You said you saw guys after your
diagnosis and you were dating. Did you date outside of the
herpes community? Yeah, I did.
So I wasn't exactly aware there were, you know, platforms like
positive singles and stuff until about two years ago.
So majority of the time I was, yeah, dating outside the
community. And yeah, I, I met some really
lovely guys and as, as always, like, you know, you just close
to partners and it's a deal breaker for them in one way or
another. And as time has gone on, I I
understand that and respect it. And I greatly admire anyone who
sits and listens through that tough conversation or is willing
to listen. That is a very important step in
a breaking stigma and be, you know, wedding out, you know, the
good eggs from the bad eggs. Yeah.
How? How did you disclose?
Like what was your formula for it?
You know, a couple of years ago, I was at a bit of a crossroads
and bit kind of frustrated by, you know, I suppose being
rejected or it being a deal breaker certain partners.
And I went and saw a sex therapist or a sexologist.
I don't know exactly what they called, but yeah.
And I said, you know, I'm having trouble about the disclosing
thing. And she said, well, OK, talk to
me like, you know, you would a partner.
And I, I, I, I started, you know, the word vomit.
And she's like, my only bit of feedback is you're the person
you tell will be your mirror. So if you are stressed or
worried or, I don't know, sad or have very high emotions, then
you know, they'll, they'll sense that and they'll mirror that.
So she said, you know, just practice, maybe write it out
beforehand, like one or two things that you wanna cover, but
keep it casual, like a coffee conversation.
And she said, you know, if you're relaxed, the person you
tell will be a bit more relaxed as well 'cause they'll be that
you're a bit more at ease with it.
So I think that is the best bit of advice that I could pass on
is the person you tell will be your mirror.
So it's just like what, what when you say mirror, just to
clear up any confusion that there could be with the
listeners, what you're saying is you're looking at yourself
essentially when you're disclosing to someone, the look
on your face, the energy that you're putting off, that is what
is on the other side of that disclosure.
So if you're looking at yourself and you're, you've got this
grimace to you and there's a shakiness to your voice and
your, your posture is not good. What you're putting off is, is a
lack of confidence, a little bit of shame in there, a little bit
of guilt, and that other person's going to feel those
negative emotions and then want to distance themselves because
no one likes to feel ashamed, embarrassed or guilty or any of
those negative emotions. Yeah, that's pretty much it.
But in telling someone yes, say I have in certain situations, I
have been quite emotional. So you know, crying and a shaky
voice when I have disclosed and I suppose to those partners that
things haven't progressed with. What I've learned from that is
basically if I was crying and shaky voice and very like
showing a lot of sad or negative emotions, then I suppose that
magnifies maybe. Oh, that they have something to
really be worried about and that kind of stirs negative emotions
in them. That's just what I've learned.
Mm hmm. Mm.
Hmm. So now when you go into it, what
do you go into it? Calm.
Do you go into it happy? Like hey, I have herpes and this
is awesome. I try to be as calm as possible
really, you know, know, the, the way in which I did it with my,
my current partner was, you know, I can't remember exactly
what I said, but it was along the lines of I really like how
this relationship or seeing you has been progressing.
I'm, you know, I'm keen to take things to the next level.
And, you know, I'm, I'm keen to take things to the next level.
But before we do, I think you should know or I think I would
like to share with you this herpes, you know, and it is it
is a communicable disease and medicate much smaller risks.
You know, if you as a male wear condoms and stuff and just a few
short sharp backs. I don't really kind of lay on
the big medicals. Yeah, like coffee talk.
You gave him the coffee version. OK, pretty.
Much and. What was his response?
What was that sorry? And what was his response being
that he's polyamorous and this is the first polyamorous person
that you've been involved with? You know, I, I just imagine in
that community, communication and honesty is very, very
critical. And it's it there's a higher
value on being polyamorous with your partners, given the nature
of the sexuality, sexual health. What did he hit you with the oh,
let me get back to my other partners.
I'll be I'll be back. Or did he ask questions or what?
So it was face to face and he just kind of said, OK, and, you
know, nodded his head a few times and asked some questions
and anything to me for sharing that with him.
And I I was really grateful for that.
So for me, just having that thank you for sharing with me is
just so valuable. So whatever had happened after
that point, you can hear me getting emotional just talking
about this, whatever had happened after that point, like,
you know, I got that. Thank you.
And I didn't have a negative reaction.
So yeah, it, it was, he did, he didn't say to me explicitly, you
know, like hang on, I'll just check with everybody else.
But he did let me know later that after we started dating a
little longer that yes, you know, he had mentioned it to
his, his partner and other partners and they, they did talk
about it and discussed whether they were comfortable with it.
I'd also like to put in there that sexual hygiene and sexual
health, it's also a very big focus of the Poly that I'm part
of as well. We all get blood tests virtually
every six months. So we are, they're very prudent
about all that. I mean, as you should be,
especially if everyone's engaging in sexual activities
with, you know, multiple partners and everyone has their
own lives. So I mean, I'm just imagining
that there's an agreement between everyone before moving
on to or before bringing anyone into the circle new that there's
a process. It's like a screening process.
So like I did, did they all have to meet you?
Was there like a initiation or something?
No. OK, I.
Think that was a conversation that they just had amongst
themselves. And one thing I said when I was
when I disclosed to my current party is that I was happy to
answer any of his questions. And if any of the others, any of
my metamores had any questions that I was happy to answer them
to. Sorry.
I just wanted to finish on a note of openness.
Yeah. And comfort about it.
And I think that helped the person I disclosed to be more
comfortable seeing that I was, you know, I had the knowledge I
was appearing to be at peace with it.
So yeah, yeah, I think that's an important thing to include as
well. It's it's been over a year, is
that right? Yeah, with my current party.
Yeah. And I, I get, I'm just curious
how this conversation went because like you disclose you
have herpes, you've disclosed to this person who to our knowledge
doesn't have herpes and he's relaying this information.
He's not the carrier, so he knows what you've told him and
what additional research he's done.
And then he was able to bring that to another group of people,
you know, com comfortably, confidently and say, hey guys,
this is the risk. So I guess what I'm trying to
figure out, which you have no way of knowing what he said, but
just like the, the, that's how easy it is to have this
conversation. I mean, it's not easy for
everyone, but the level of communication among partners, I
imagine, is what made that so easy for him to receive that
message from you and then relay that to a whole other group of
people in a way that they were all comfortable with
understanding what the risks are.
Yeah, and my my current partner still doesn't have herpes, Yeah.
So yeah, yeah, I, I, I consider that a great success.
Oh yeah. Every everyone in my, I suppose
my immediate circle is aware of the risks, but I, I myself
medicate daily and we always, you know, practice safe sex.
And I think that's been a great preventative.
Mm hmm. Now safe sex.
So I have a thing I say now that it's more so about safer sex.
And I think that the safer sex really comes from the open and
honest communication. I mean, on top of any other risk
reducing measures such as using condoms or dental dams and
things like that. Now, you guys, you, you're on
the daily suppressive meds. Is that right?
And you've been intimate with him and only him.
Yeah, for over a year now and he hasn't contracted the virus.
So that's, I mean, and how's his health, if you don't mind me
asking? Is he doing anything to stay on
top of his health or anything extra?
Is he like super into fitness or?
Does what everybody else does, you know, you know, tries to get
88 to 9 hours of sleep is, is active and just eats well,
really. We all try not to get to run
down. And there have been instances
where I've either been sick with anything from a, a winter flu or
just stressed or overtired where I've just settled, you know,
like maybe not just in case, not tonight, like just give me a few
days. And just as a precaution in some
cases, I've just doubled my medication for a few days,
right. And that hasn't hasn't been a
big deal because I've communicated that.
Good, so he and his partners understand the risk and they are
all OK with the possibility of contracting herpes.
Yeah, I. Suppose or they they wouldn't
have, I suppose accepted me and. Yeah, well, I guess I'm just
wondering like, 'cause there are instances where people don't
fully understand or, you know, it's, it's kind of downplayed, I
guess by a person within the group, like, oh, it's not that
bad. I know somebody with it.
It's it, it has crossed my mind. Yeah.
You know, the what if my partner does end up with it and I, I
still, I, I wouldn't be totally like nonchalant or totally OK
with that. I would do really bad and I
would do shame over that. But I, I don't have any control
over that other than, you know what I already do.
Yeah. So and I know that we together
are doing the maximum amount that we possibly can, you know,
prevent transmission. And I, I don't like say that to
just put you on the spot, but there are people who
legitimately get anxiety about this.
And my philosophy is OK, you know, you've done your part and
you've shared your own personal experience, your knowledge, and
you've provided them with necessary resources to do
additional research if they want to.
Now, if you've done your part in communicating and you're holding
up your end of the deal as far as taking the necessary risk
reducing measures, then I for other people out there, just
this is important to understand, you know, if your partner is OK
with the risk, you know, let them be OK with the risk after
you've done everything that you can on your end as far as
informing and educating them on anything that's important, you
know, your personal health, like how often you get outbreaks or
how you manage your condition and how they can go about it.
And then just do your best to prepare them for it as well.
Because there are people who, you know, live in that state of
anxiety, just not even wanting to be with anyone who doesn't
have it or thinks that a person who accepts the risk, like, like
as if we're less than a person almost.
Because we're more so concerned in the beginning about a person
accepting herpes and then us more so than we are about them
accepting us as people and then herpes.
Does that make sense? I hope I said that the way that
I I think I said it. Yeah, so herpes is this really
strange thing. It's a significant yet
insignificant facts about me, about you, about anyone.
I mean, with herpes, you know, it's only significant to say us
who live with it and maybe the partners that we've disclosed
to. But it's also an insignificant
fact at the same time. You know, having herpes doesn't
stop me doing my job, doesn't stop me traveling.
It doesn't stop me exercising. It doesn't stop me getting up in
the morning. At least now it doesn't, you
know, so it's you can still very much mute with herpes.
And I don't mean just going through the motions.
You can still like. Really Blue Yeah, you can.
Yeah, you can have a really fulfilling life.
And I mean, think about all the people we don't hear from, like
just the people that we had on this podcast.
There's no way we would have heard from the majority of these
people because I speak with people who have come to terms
with it, accepted it and are living their lives that just may
so happen to be in a support group, you know, and see a post
every now and then about me looking for guests.
But it's, it's, that's how insignificant it is.
And in the grand scheme of things, a lot of the people who
come on here have come to that terms of acceptance and have
just been able to go on with their lives as if this doesn't
have anything like, as if this is such a minimum part of their
existence. Yeah, pretty much, yeah.
I, I fully agree with all of that.
And I suppose if anybody is listening and they are
struggling with that is I want to say that you do get there and
there is hope. I had really dark moments and
I'm sure you had really dark moments, Courtney.
But it does get better. And don't focus on somebody else
so much loving you is you've got to take the step and like really
love yourself. As stupid and cliche as that
sounds like, that is how you kind of take the steps towards
peace. And I really recommend
connecting with other people that you know, support groups,
anyone living with it. And that helps so much.
You when you don't feel isolated anymore, that really helps.
Yeah, and I was telling people I was just thanking the local
support group here. We had gone on like a flow trip.
And that was one of the that was like one of the first times that
I really got out there after having her because I've had it
for six years. You and I didn't really talk too
much about my own experience, but I've had it for six years
and up until a little bit over a year ago, that was when I found
like positive singles. And that's when I found all
these local support groups And it was like, wow, this is out
here. And I didn't realize how much of
an inhibited life I was living until I was able to get out
there and be around other people who I didn't have to worry about
that thought in the back of my mind.
So I agree, it does take that help and support, and it does
take connecting with others and being able to really connect
with yourself. And in your case, I think that
seeing a therapist really helps you get that process going to
understand. All right, it starts with me.
And then you were able to go out into the world even after two
years of forced celibacy. Yeah, So what I saw my therapist
for in the end was the cognitive behavioral therapy.
So CBT. So I was basically kind of just
treated for anxiety and yeah, just kind of that kind of an
adjustment disorder really. I think my doctor very loosely
labeled it just to be able to get out there and be more open.
And I say getting out there. I don't mean sexually.
I mean. Just getting.
Out the front door. Yeah, some.
Days, you know, and I think the community groups that you've
talked about sound really great. Oh yeah, they are.
They're very supportive, very good people.
And I've come to find, like, you don't even need the support half
the time. It's just a matter of knowing
that there are people there and like, a lot of times we'll hit
each other up for, like, I just asked a group, like, who knows
an accountant, 'cause I have to get my taxes done.
And it's like a little little things like that.
Like it's completely irrelevant to herpes, but yeah.
So the way I've kind of communicated it to friends or
talked about it casually with friends, my diagnosis is that,
you know, depending on where you read, you could be one in five
or one in eight or whatever. I think it's in the US or
Australia anyway, one in five or one in eight people live with
HSV 2. And when you think about that,
it's like, oh, like, you know, that that seems so high and so
scary. But like then I say, think about
that in relation to the bus or train you catch to work every
morning. The nightclub will buy you go to
on Friday night or like the big building you work in or, you
know, just walking down the street, you know, like one in
eight people and really not that.
Alone, not at all that context. Is quite amazing, yeah.
Yeah, Yeah. So this is a good place to stop.
I think we covered everything unless there was something else
that you wanted to touch on. I think that the love yourself
and you got to tell us about, you know, your experience and
going from monogamist to Poly and disclosing to a disclosure,
a disclosure and that is having that success.
Sorry, I had a really lovely moment last year where a friend
of mine who who knew that I lived with herpes, they ended up
with the same diagnosis. They ended up with herpes as
well. And they rang me and asked for
support. And I was just in a shop changer
at the time, you know, and I was able to sit down and just, you
know, ask the questions, you know, are you OK?
How this happened? You know, have you taken these
steps or this, that and the other year and I was able to go
really full circle in that moment five years later.
And basically I was able to be the person that I needed five
years before. And that was a really, really
nice moment to be there and support that person through
that. So yeah, I'm, I'm really at
peace. My diagnosis now.
Mm hmm. And you you'd say that that
moment is really what made you understand that you were at
peace when you were able to take your experience and help someone
else get through their experience.
Yep, absolutely. But and you wouldn't have been
able to have that opportunity had you not been open about your
condition with this particular group of people or this person
in particular, right? No, I wouldn't have.
And one of the things my current partner has said to me was the
fact that I was, was open and disclosed was, you know, half
the reason that he kept dating me.
He admired my honesty. Mm hmm.
So, yeah, you never know who. Yeah, I'm.
I'm really grateful for both those experiences.
And, you know, you can hear my voice cracking again, and it's
just reflecting on the vulnerability at that moment.
But I'm happy I took the leap and I'm happy I was brave.
The vulnerability, there's such strength in there and there's so
much like that's what we're drawn to as human beings.
We're drawn to the authenticity of a person and regardless of
how challenging it may be to share a very, very vulnerable,
you know, sometimes shameful negative emotion about yourself
with somebody else, Like that's, that's a very powerful moment
and it, it extends the opportunity to really connect.
And that's what you did. And, you know, when doing that,
you got, you got a partner and it's been going for a year.
You got a new lifestyle you're exploring and it's just, it
seems to be a lot of good that just came from it.
Yeah, and the most important thing over the top of all that,
you know, like partner or no partner, I, I accept myself and
that is the most important thing.
Partners come and go. You know, even a little while
back I offered with one partner to actually take him to my GP,
my General practitioner, and just have a conversation about
it. But that particular partner
wasn't willing to do that. So, you know, I've, I've had no
acceptance and I've had acceptance.
And the first person, the first guy I ever disclosed to, he
fainted, which was horrible. But in hindsight, it's
hilarious. So it's been a real mix of funny
moments. Talk about setting the tone
some. Vulnerable moments and some not
so great moments but altogether like.
Yeah, that would have a. Character building experience.
That's good. That would have frightened me
though. Like disclosing to the first
person they just pass out like shit.
Is this what I had to look forward to going forward?
It it. Was.
Awful taken, you know, the time to get up the guts for disposing
this person and they've just gotten woozy and, you know, had
to lay them down and get them a glass of water and.
Then make. Sure they were OK and then
excuse myself. So it was horrible at the time.
I'm pretty sure I cried walking back to my car, but it's funny
now. Yeah, Well, I mean, I always
say, like what? It's not about what happens to
us, it's about what happens through US.
You know, that person fainted. You have that experience and
that experience equipped you to be able to handle and accept
what's going on in your life now.
And look at us here now like your story is going to help
someone else because that happened.
You know, someone's going to laugh at that.
Someone's going to say me too. And then someone's going to, you
know, get the whole overall message.
And you know, you are that mirror to somebody else, you
know, later on down their diagnosis.
So I thank you so much for your time here and coming on to
share. I appreciate you getting out of
bed a little bit earlier today. No, that's all good.
Courtney. Thank you so much for having me.
I yeah, it's being really therapeutic for me to share my
story so publicly and I hope that it helps someone.
Yeah, it will. Nobody.
Thanks When someone is. Close.
Thank you again, Floor. I appreciate you being on here.
You're welcome, Courtney. Take care, my friend.
Alright, you could say bye to the audience.
Bye guys, take care of yourselves.
That's it, That's all you got. Yeah.
Oh yeah, I guess we we dehydrated stand.
That's good advice. Alright, Wash your hands after
you pee. That's it.
No, this concludes this episode of something positive for
positive people with floor. When you listen to this episode,
if you haven't already, please take the time to like rate,
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Please let us know what you think in the review section.
This is really, really helping people to get connected with the
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of today, March 11th, 2018. I think it's the 11th.
It's about to be the 11th. By the time y'all here there is
the 11th will have passed. But right now we're at 5000
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And that is all as a result of you guys doing what you're
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for people who are newly diagnosed, for people who
haven't had a chance to talk about their experience and
really have a therapeutic experience, getting this message
off their chest and being able to someone else.
Just like Flora said, you know, it was a full circle experience
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Until next time, stay positive.