Hey everybody, so I got this message from my friend in
response to an audio message I sent her explaining how hard it
is in the season. And to be honest with you, I
would have to admit that one of my biggest fears, as Job said,
the thing I feared most has come upon me is when I don't feel
like there's a way out. When I don't know what to do.
When something has been so wrong for so long and I have tried
everything I know, tapped into every resource I have and
nothing is changing. Something that is so painful and
I just have to accept that maybe I don't know.
Maybe I can't calculator, strategize, or obtain enough
information or tools or resources to extricate myself
from a painful life dynamic. And this experience being
ongoing has caused me to have to trust the Lord in a new way.
Because the truth is that I, I can't solve all of my problems.
And sometimes Jesus doesn't give us the fix it answer.
Sometimes he's like, I need you to trust me in this hard, hard,
hard place. And in response to that
conversation with my friend, I received this message.
And I thought, you know, I'm probably not the only person who
has a persistent problem. And maybe you need to hear this.
Maybe you're going through grief, maybe you're experiencing
loss in some way or other. And I just think that this
message, it's gold and it's truly from the lips of Yeshua
himself. Sorry that you are going through
the grief. I know you'll continue to walk
through it. And I know that the Lord is so
faithful to to hold your hand and witness it and catch every
tear and, and that none of it's for waste.
There's information in your tears.
I can feel his honor, the Lord's honor for you as you're trusting
him with your tears and that you're willing to go to that
place where you can grieve with him.
And that might just be the place you're in for a minute there.
There's going to be cycles of grief.
He's teaching you to share all of that with him and that he's
not going to throw it in your face.
And quite honestly, I don't believe he's going to leave you
in that place. I think there's going to be
something that he he gives you, but there has to be room for it
to land. And if you have to walk through
your grief, that's what that is right now.
And that's OK. There might not be a solution,
which maybe is something you need to learn is that sometimes
things are just hard there. There isn't always a fix it.
There isn't always an equation. There isn't always something to
put a bow on it, make it pretty again.
Sometimes it just is. I have to let myself feel this
and and to be witnessed by Yeshua in the rawness of my
emotion. So it's almost like, again,
you're turning yourself to the Lord and you're literally
pulling back all of the veils and the costumes and the
protections and you're saying, look at my bleeding heart.
I'm not withholding it from you. Because what does that do when
we expose our wound to Yeshua's light?
There's life that can pour back into that place.
And that's the only way that we can get life back into that
place is to literally show him everything.
And in even in, in that, it feels like that is an act of
honour to the Lord of saying, I trust you with this intimate
thing that I don't even know what to do with.
Come look at it, dissect it with me.
Pour your light over this. Let me weep into your shoulder.
Let me tell you exactly how I'm feeling.
It's that's intimacy. There's intimacy there.
Maybe attempt to stop squirming. Someone should just like honor
that there's grief there. There's not a good way through
grief other than just letting yourself feel it and and move
it. Give it to the Lord.
Have the Lord witness you in your grief.
It's OK to not know. Maybe that's your answer from
the Lord right now. It's like not yet love.
It's OK to be in the I don't know again, instead of flailing
around and trying to come up with a solution, I have to fix
this there. I'm, you know, I just found the
I just have to find the right equation.
I just have to read the right book.
I just have to find the thing. Da, da, da.
There's got to be an there's got to be an answer.
There's got to be an answer. It's eluding you from actually
being in a place of stillness with the Lord.
Again, sometimes the I don't know is the answer until he
tells you there's a different answer.
And what a practice to stop flailing.
It reminds me of trying to hug a kid that's throwing a temper
tantrum when they finally give in.
Let the Lord wrap himself around you.
Even in the I don't know. That might be his actual answer
for you is not yet like stay in the I don't know because He
does. He knows.
Like set aside what your brain thinks it knows and trust that
He does and that is trustworthy. You can stake your life on what
he knows. And he also, I think, honors
that you're going to him with all of this, that you are being
obedient. It's not about you performing
correctly in this. It is about you turning to Lord
as you're doing and, and you've listened to him.
He's asked you to let him be your everything and that's what
you're doing. Is it messy and sad and
frustrating and all the things? Absolutely.
But again, this is what intimacy looks like.
It's not always pretty. It's not always peaceful.
It's OK to be in the I don't know and, and to let the Lord
show you as he's been doing and revealing to you where you need
to take accountability or where you need to get healing or you
know that you're taking accountability for your part and
he's showing you those things as he sees they're beneficial for
you. Trust his timing.
It's not about your timing, It's about his always like lay down
your timeline at his feet. Say yes to his, even if that
means that your nervous system and your brain flail around
because you don't know what the answers are.
Who cares if you don't know what the answers are?
The Lord does. Who cares if you don't know what
the path ahead looks like? The Lord does.
And that is absolutely enough. And it always will be.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine
own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall drive thy paths.