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Hey, brother. 
So I've been talking to 

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Patricia. 
You sent me her information. 

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We've kind of befriended each 
other. 

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Well, not kind of. 
We've befriended each other. 

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We've been talking. 
And she said something 

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interesting to me today that I 
think would be a good podcast 

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topic, whether with me or 
someone else or just something 

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for you to riff on, which is 
that as she's gotten to know me,

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she said to me today that, hey, 
you know, when I first heard 

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your podcast, I kind of thought,
I thought of you as this, like, 

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spiritual giant. 
And I was kind of intimidated to

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talk to you. 
But the more you share with me, 

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the more I realized that we're 
all just trying to get through. 

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Like, we're all just trying to 
do the best we can. 

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And even with people who you 
might look up to or admire, 

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you're still just struggling 
humans. 

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And it got me thinking about how
often in Christianity we present

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only our string of victories and
we aren't honest about our 

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struggles. 
And if we are honest about our 

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struggles, we contextualize them
only as past things. 

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And now I don't think that it 
would be super beneficial to 

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just have a griping session just
constantly. 

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Every time a leader or somebody 
in in the church goes to preach 

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and they just start whining 
about all their life problems, I

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feel like, you know, I remember 
you asking me, you know, what 

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was your process to get here? 
And I said to you dying, I died.

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I died. 1000 *, I died. 
And then I died again. 

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If you think about the process 
of death, it's it's really not 

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cute, right? 
Like you lose your bowels, you 

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lose all the color in your face,
it's ugly. 

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And then you begin to stink. 
Without that process of dying, 

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you, you don't ever get 
anywhere. 

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You if Jesus had to die, we have
to die. 

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So what does that death actually
look like? 

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And I think sometimes, I don't 
know, I think it was Elijah 

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after the prophets of Baal. 
And he calls down fire and he 

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just, they all get smoked. 
And then he finds out Jezebel's 

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after him and he goes running 
into the woods like a crying 

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little baby. 
And we look at that and we go, 

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what the heck, my dude, What's 
wrong with you? 

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How could you have just done 
that? 

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And now you're this. 
But that's the reality of the 

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situation, though. 
And like all the awesome things 

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I've shared that the encounters 
with God, the way he's used me, 

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etcetera, etcetera, they only 
come because God showed me the 

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depravity of my heart this fast.
That Prince that I have been on,

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oh sweet, blessed savior, I it's
been dying day after day after 

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day. 
God being like, hey, look at how

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you're a narcissist, Carly. 
Hey, look at how you idolize 

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yourself over me. 
Hey, look at this cesspool of 

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hate you actually have for your 
marriage. 

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Hey, this, this the next thing. 
The next thing. 

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The next thing. 
And it's been extraordinarily 

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difficult and humbling, and it's
been death. 

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It is I've I've been dying. 
I'm not sleeping, I'm not 

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eating. 
And I'm constantly being shown 

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what a Wretch I am. 
But that's the reality of it. 

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It's not cute. 
It's not just me going in my 

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prayer closet very tidily, 
reading the word out loud, and 

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all the cosmos just coming back 
into order. 

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No, it's not that at all. 
People think that the zenith of 

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spiritual power is the 
mountaintop with God, but it's 

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not. 
The zenith of power is the 

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valley of the shadow of death. 
It's the wilderness where Satan 

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comes to tempt you. 
That's where it happens. 

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That's where things change. 
And that's when more of him 

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abides in more of you, right? 
That's when the darkness that 

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we're been too afraid to look at
gets pushed out and he takes up 

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residence. 
And I just think that to present

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our Christian walks as the 
succession of victories is 

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really disengenuine. 
It's very disingenuine, but 

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nobody wants to talk about how 
ugly they are because obviously 

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right. 
And I just thought to myself, 

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man, I don't ever want to be the
kind of influence or leader or 

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whatever over other people that 
only presents themselves as so, 

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so tight with the Lord and 
nothing ever goes wrong. 

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Because honestly, like as much 
as I want to be surrounded by 

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people who are trustworthy, 
obviously, right? 

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I don't. 
I don't ever want to be 

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surrounded with by people who 
are loyal to me, not me. 

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If we're doing something 
together, it's because God said 

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for you to come alongside and do
something with me, you 

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understand? 
Like Prince is often asked by 

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the pastor in the church that we
serve in. 

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What does he want to do? 
How does he want to serve? 

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To give him to give the pastor a
scope of like what? 

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Why we're here and what we are 
looking to do. 

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And Prince is like, I'm here as 
long as the Lord has me here and

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I'm I'm here to serve in the way
that he tells me to serve. 

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I'm not here because of you. 
I'm here because this is where 

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he told me to be. 
And I'm, you know, we're not 

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even there because of the 
vision. 

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We're not there because of the 
vision to take the city and see 

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people cross the line of faith. 
We're there because God said be 

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there. 
And whatever that looks like 

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from day-to-day is what that 
looks like from day-to-day. 

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And to be honest with you, I 
think that the church has really

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become such a cult of 
personality that we think we 

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need to find people who are 
loyal to the vision. 

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And even if God did give us that
vision, it doesn't mean that 

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that the people who are loyal to
the vision are actually obeying 

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God. 
They just might be gung ho to 

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see something change. 
I was telling God this morning 

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in prayer. 
Lord, I want like bring revival,

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but bring it in the bus stop. 
Bring it in the target. 

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Bring it in the office. 
Bring it in the house where 

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nobody sees. 
Bring it in somebody's shower 

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while they're taking a shower. 
Bring it in the schools. 

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Take it out of the four walls of
church where somebody can stand 

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up and say, I was pastor when 
this happened. 

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I fasted and I prayed and God 
answered. 

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Because it's really just a very 
passive way of crowning 

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ourselves, let's be honest, 
right? 

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But if revival breaks out in the
bus stops all over the country, 

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who's gonna take? 
Who's gonna take credit for 

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that? 
Nobody. 

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Anyway, I'm on a bit of a tirade
and this is a long message, but 

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I think it's worth talking 
about, you know, Because 

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otherwise what ends up happening
is people end up looking to 

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other people as their source of 
answers and solutions. 

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And there is no formula. 
There is no three steps to a 

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better marriage. 
You have to get in your death 

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with Christ and deal with it. 
And that's going to look 

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different for everybody. 
Everybody. 

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That's not going to be a 
formula. 

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It cannot be a formula because 
it's only an obedience that we 

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that we see breakthrough 
obedience to God in the moments 

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of our lives. 
That's it. 

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Nobody can can make a three-step
guide to that. 

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Who could do that? 
How? 

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How you need to be humbled by 
the Lord is going to be looking 

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completely different than me. 
Anyway, thank you brother. 

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I got a little heated with this 
one because it just hit me so 

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hard. 
It hit me really hard this 

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morning. 
Anyway, I hope you have a 

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beautiful, wonderful, awesome, 
amazing day. 

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OK. 
Bye.

