Hi, I'm Amy Shepherd. I'm locked and Stewart and
although we have different last names, we're married.
Now, we've been told the secret to a successful marriage is
communication. So we're going to talk it out
every week. Share our challenges, and pet
peeves. Then we're setting each other.
Some goals, some couple goals, couple goals.
The podcast is for those who might be looking to life their
way through challenging scenarios that all couples.
Go through occasionally. We might even get some other
couples to join in. Yeah, you'd like that.
Hit, subscribe and tune in. Every week to hear our weekly
couple goals. Episode.
Welcome back Ashley. Now, I feel like I'm too quiet.
Can you talk? Hey, that's a little bit quiet
now. Yeah, there's just a buzzer.
So my turn that. Oh yeah.
All right. Well episode 31, we had some
technicalities of technical issues.
I've got a buzzer set up on the phone and it was extremely loud.
So we turn the volume down and then I couldn't hear Amy, so I
didn't like that. But anyway, we are filming very
early this morning. So if I lie, if you're watching
on patreon and I look like crap. It's because it's 7 a.m. and I
must be lonely person. If you've heard some of the
other podcast, you must be lonely.
But would you just do? We got your pumped up.
So, you'll probably notice last episode, I was in a bit of a
cranky mood to start. I'm still waking up, I'm
defroster, name is defrosting and I said best way to defrost
is to give me ten squats so she gave us 10 squats and how do you
feel after that? I feel tired still and she feels
tight. It's Ella tree, the squats down
actually work. We've had a wild way.
It's been a fun week for us as a couple for you individually for
me individually. I feel like it just got busy
really quickly like we didn't even yeah we didn't have
anything. So then it all just got filled
up. Yes, I'm exhausted and I think
I'm going to get sick which is not good because I've got a show
next week. No, we are going to Perth which
we fun. Yeah.
Anyway, let's keep on pushing through his keep on pushing
through. This will be fun.
So this week we were on the last week so the last couple of days
we've been on a couple of podcasts which was found for us.
Yeah. We've never been on a podcast
together as guests being interviewed.
It was actually really different Dynamic.
Wasn't it? Yeah.
How did you find it? I liked it.
It was actually nice. Not having to like think you do
have to think but we're like direct it.
It was nice. Yeah.
Having someone directed and The questions rather than us just so
pantry and bickering. Yeah, it was nice still better
than one thing that became apparent was just how much Amy
does not like me talking over the top of it.
So I'm going to do my best to bite my tongue.
I just get so excited, like when you're in the moment and I know
I forget things very quickly, so I'm like, yeah, and sometimes
it's fine to like Fanta, it sometimes like I'm on a roll and
then you just coming off and you just going to pick you. - it for
my coffee. You can lift that coffee.
I had no second second. Second little.
I don't drink too much of it, so, yeah, I thought it was
really fun. So on the podcast, we're on the
Dawson d show which will come out in a few weeks and Amy will
share it in the patreon. And then after a while, will
probably share it on socials and then we run, rebill rebuild,
health and fitness and are two completely different shows.
Yeah, the first one with Dawson d.
Was a couple of young guys from Melbourne.
Yeah. Awesome dudes.
Really great guys. And that was just like more of a
chat about who we are. Who we are as a couple lots of
relationship stuff. Yeah.
Pretty laid-back. And funny.
It was fun like it was relaxed. It was actually quite nice to
hear. Amy speak about me.
Two other people like and vice versa.
Yeah. Because normally I don't know it
feels like a bit wanker ish. If you if I how I guess I spoke
about you in some things. I know it's not like I would
normally yeah. That too because it's not like
you were speaking to me. It was speaking to.
Yeah. And it would be kind of weird if
I was. Yeah.
It'd be kind of weird. I don't know.
It's maybe not when Trish, why is that weird?
Why don't you say those nice things to me?
Well, I do say, I think I do say the nice Things but it's I think
it's different. What like, if I were to stand
here and say those nice things to you, but it's different.
When you can hear your partner, describing how they feel about
you or how you've Impacted their life to other people.
Because it's not like I can say you've helped me change my life
and stuff, but I'm not going to go into much detail because you
were there. I don't feel like I would ever
describe the actual context of the whole thing.
So when you're explaining it to someone else, you've got to give
it context that I can understand a bit more.
So I think, yeah, it's just a different way to communicate.
I feel when we doing podcast episodes here and my way
interviewing people. And then when we're being
interviewed by people, they're all different.
Ways of communicating and even though we see a similar stuff,
it's different. I like it.
Yeah, it was really cool and then the second podcast was we
went on more of a deep dive. We went deep, we spoke a lot
about body image because the person who's interviewing me
what's the podcast called their pre build health and fitness.
So same thing once that goes live will put it in patreon and
then eventually we'll share the links on social.
Yeah. So they asked us a lot about Out
body image. Really?
Cuz he is a dietitian and owns a gym and to rebuild health and
fitness which is a gym and Crossfit facility.
So it was great to have a chat with someone in the health
Space. Ace a professional about body
image. We nervous about that one.
Yeah, of course, I don't want to say the wrong thing.
I mean, it's a really touchy subject for a lot of people,
it's triggering. And also, I don't want to be
canceled. I mean, what if I'm cats don't
cancel, but Because honestly don't want to be here and
that's, I think you're, we can even talk about that now
quickly. Just how Much thought, even
though sometimes it when you do make mistakes or post something,
you always going to get varying opinions.
Yeah, you can never I don't know anyone in the world who can post
something. That all 7 billion people on
Earth, just go up top high five. Yeah, I know.
It's like yeah there was actually an article.
I shared it in our family chat, just before I said, I'll share
this in name is patreon because it's, it's going to Be very
eye-opening, just around, Ai and technology.
So a guy called Jonathan haidt. Now, this is, he wrote a book on
happiness, 10% happier and he's a psychologist social
psychologist. And he then has written a couple
more books, has got two more books coming out and he wrote
one with the former CEO of Google And they're talking about
a I will make to this is a headline, this was not planned
but a I will soon make social media much more harmful to
children who proceeds to go on. I'll just go back to my sub
stack, sorry to was impromptu. So let me go back to it, but
they weren't back in the day when they first launched all
these social media platforms? They believe that humans would
love to just be connected at how cool is it that can be connected
to people all around the world but then the tribalism thing
that they were doing. Yeah.
My or even the guy from Google is at we didn't realize that
people wouldn't adapt like wouldn't now that we're all
connected, we thought hey there was a really good line here
where they thought we would all get along or whatever, but it's
just made the US versus you even bigger because as people want to
grow their followings and stuff like that.
So even though a lot of people don't agree with how they're
marketing themself or what they're posting, social
credibility is more important to them than actually connecting
and being more, you know, helping people together.
So people are selfish, it was a wild article but the books is
got set first second book coming out his life after Babel which I
don't know how Bible is adapting to a world.
We can no longer share. So obviously, see, we can't, you
know, Resonate with everyone in the world.
Hence, why there's a lot of hatred and trolling and stuff on
the internet because it's like your story in the way you see
the world. Someone who's even watching this
podcast Mike. Oh fuck.
That Amy's completely off the mark there and then I'll just
take it to heart rather than just trying to be like
empathizing and compassionate and putting your birth and your
fluffy slippers on. Can you show though can you get
your legs up there and show the Amy's wearing these are they
from the hit now, you're too early for you to stretch the
hammies that she's got these fluffy little slippers.
On that are just unbelievable. It's warm in the touch.
And the first book is going to be called the anxious
generation, how smart phones and overprotection damage, mental
health, and block the path to adulthood.
So I've wrote those books down. So when they come out, I'm going
to buy them and read them, but I'll share this.
Do you want me to share this in your Patron?
Sure. It's fucking wild.
And then there's a full essay attached, so I don't know how we
got that, but we're that. So.
So for the boring, what were we talking about?
We're talking about rebuild health and fitness how we do
have deep, oh yeah, being canceled being cancelled and how
you worried about it. And yeah, but it all went well
big enough to be cancelled, like, I could, but it's not as
significant as you been canceled.
Yeah, I mean, I've been canceled before so it's fine but yeah.
It's Touchy subject and I think we spoke.
Well, everyone has different opinions on body image, and the
talk around obesity which I find, I don't mind.
Talking about it with a health professional.
I'm not a health professional, so it is varying views, but I
think we kind of had a similar. Yeah, Common Ground definitely
say and so you'll have to listen to that episode because we
don't, it's too early for us to go deeper.
Yeah, it's like okay, this slightly humorous.
But humorous, we're not actually that funny not at 7:00 a.m.
That's probably the funny part that I thought were funny for a
moment. Well, let's dive into the red
apart or should we should we get in my head line, first?
Okay, you go first, right? So I was writing a Blog and I
was like, what some stuff going on in the media about
relationships at the moment. Hansford a couple girls.
The first thing that popped up was atrocious.
Dating Trend. That's Rife in Australia exposed
by a Mmm, ha. Oh, come out and I was just
like, Daily mail's written is, it's got to be legit.
It's got to be like a gold standard article, so I dove deep
into it and so you click that. Yeah.
How could you not? He took the bait.
How can, you know, click on that headline?
That's just got me going. So let's say a Melbourne woman
has exposed to sick, modern, dating encounter that she's
endured recently. Prompting others to agree.
It's a huge issue. Here's a few quotes that I I
took but then we'll go into I'll paraphrase it.
We can talk about it because I think it's an interesting topic
and a lot of you maybe all your most of the listeners are
probably in relationships, but if you're not Might be helpful.
I have been made to feel so, so bad by guys for communicating my
basic needs and putting personal boundaries in place, Kim
continued. So I think that was about, I
think the lady who wrote this article is 34 or not wrote it,
but was interviewed and she's just like upfront about she
wants children and that scares people away.
So I think that's important. Yeah.
I think that's important because there's no point being with
someone if you want. Yeah.
You gotta have boundaries 100%. And then obviously, they
interviewed a lot of Men to see if it works on both sides of the
fence. And yes, quote from one man,
that's how we identified in this responsibility lies with both.
Social media has ruined at expectations is so high.
Plenty of good people out there, okay?
And so I didn't insightful quote, that was very inside, the
journalism was through the roof. I'm always Blown Away with how
good it is. So what?
Anyway, so the purpose was like there was some main points that
a lot of people were then discuss and there were more
quite a lot of people were discussing.
In this interview around being ghosted, breadcrumbed was one,
which I can't remember, what brothers bombed having.
Yeah, love poem, twas one and I was one more.
And then obviously I went diving down, like, what?
All that stuff is all this stuff existed before dating apps.
Anyway, it's just that. Now we've we have social media
so we like to use Buzz words around it.
Yeah. Thank you getting close to me.
Do you know what happens when we get too close as much as I love
it for the podcast when we snap this up into real.
All's, I can't get, we can't get our own shots because I angered
it up to the wall. So you're good and probably
face. Yes.
Sorry, guys, you know, I'm, I'm producer.
I'm director. I'm a host doing it all the
Commando, the Commando, I forgot was saying again because you're
moving me around. So I just wanted.
You were about to be something inside for.
No. But you were saying how you feel
all of these things have been around much before social media.
Yeah. Like you know, love-bombing is
when somebody showers you in love in the beginning just to
get you hooked and then they kind of like become their true
selves and start to ignore your ghost.
You or that. Yeah.
Right. And but then it leaves you like
in love with them and they love because they're Narcissists.
So, you know that's not a new thing.
And what's the other one breadcrumbs?
Yeah, that's when you like, you know, you'll give them a little
bit of love and then ghost and then come back.
Oh sorry. I've been away how you were
expecting busy people and then like go ghost away.
So just really trying to get in your knickers everyday.
Yeah, I just like the you leaving breadcrumbs, so they
stay in love with you. You're not loved by me than
ghosting but you're you know, what I would call that it just
like Hansel and Gretel like following them around.
If I was to buzz word that I'd call it fan tailing like if
someone left a I'll travel for me, I'd be all over it and tells
the chocolate, they're delicious?
Yeah, yeah. Well, it's interesting.
I what are your thoughts? Then around social media.
So we were obviously together before the tender was around 10
years ago. Nine years ago but it was like
frowned upon. Yeah.
What are your thoughts about? Obviously now you can jump on.
It's like It's all about like the visuals.
I've had to look. And it's also so convenient to
go. I'll see how I throw the line
out to this person, but why I'm waiting and I'm bored.
I'm just going to find another couple.
Yeah, it didn't, you think that's positive or negative?
I think it's a great way to meet people because it's so it can be
really hard to meet people but I think people are hiding behind
these apps as well. It doesn't allow people to grow
their communication skills or Their social skills, you know,
about having to go up to a woman in the bar.
And yeah, I don't know, but it's also good because people get to
connect in this shy people. Yeah.
Hide behind their phones. I don't know.
What do you reckon? I inferior like the convenience
of it because you can, if you use it I don't know how to set
it up, but I would assume you could find one obviously visuals
are important to some people, it does cut out.
Out the fact like some people might have great Charisma or a
lot of that sort of stuff that you may not get to see if you
don't swipe the right way because of how they look.
Yeah, there's plenty of people that like, I've been attracted
to who will like not conventionally good-looking me,
but I have great Charisma. You're good-looking as well last
because you're mad at me. Yeah, it's so sad that people
are missing out on some great connections because of I've seen
a photo that, you know, just so face value, but then, again,
there's apps, like hinge, the guys are talking box was talking
about. Yeah, and they were saying that
hinge is not really about photos, but surely have a photo
of the, yeah, I still feel though.
Like, even communication through text message, like, even I can
interpret a text message wrong with you.
We've been together for so long and depending on how you feel,
you could interpret a message in any, which way, even if it's a
good morning and if I'm in a foul mood, or We had a bond
either night but more night before.
I might not interpret it in a way that's beneficial to our
relationship. So I think like if you're trying
to tune someone on a text, you're still missing a lot of
like the communicational cues like body language vocals.
All of that sort of stuff and I also feel That people are
looking for The Prince and the princess lie straight away.
They, if there's a floor there like not, that's a red flag
straight away. Whereas if we look at our
relationship as a result, as an example, You would have
potentially swept the okay way on me.
Hmm. My chat would have been terrible
because I was a poor Communicator.
Yeah and then I might have shared, you know, I've done this
with that new adjustment that this dude's not where I want him
to be. And I know there's a lot of data
especially around women depending on where you're at.
Career-wise, they don't want to date a bloke who's not as
successful. So they're already automatically
cutting out a pool of blokes yeah.
And so, for example, if that were you, you would have looked
at me and gone that no chance. So but where I'm going, is that
is a cool thing about us is that we've grown together?
Yeah, and you've been patient with me in that growth to now,
where the point where I am a lot better than I used to be, and I
think people don't patient enough.
No, but is that such a bad thing?
Like, whoa. Okay, you miss out on something
that maybe you find something else that does sound.
And you don't have to go through the growing pains.
But then, maybe that's like you need that.
I don't know that experience together to be a stronger
couple. Yeah, I think you can appreciate
it seeing someone's growth as opposed to just looking for this
perfect person. And yeah, and then hardships
make the good times better. Yeah.
And a lot of data supports the fact that Women are struggling
because I aren't have been. There's so much data proving
that like women's pool of dating is so hard to find because they
don't want to date, anyone who's not as successful as them and
then also they're not they're wanting that perfect thing
straight away and the data it works both sides but it's a lot
stronger around females. What about men wanting the woman
who looks like a fucking supermodel?
Then it's funny, the data. Yeah.
Obviously more visually appealing but it's like 90, 80.
Something percent of blokes are just swiping right to try and
meet someone even not visually. It's so I think it does that.
It does that data show up? Because then just swipe any hole
is a goal or a lot of variables, isn't it?
Not any holes that goal? I don't know.
That's disgusting. Well, I go.
That from you. What toy is for me.
So I'm sure I'm not the first place.
Come on, let's it wasn't in context of you.
Yeah, let's move forward. Let's move forward.
Okay, over the, your Reddit story anyway, I don't even know.
That was my thing, so we discussed.
It's done. That's going to bed.
My great segue, my Reddit story. I don't think I need to get my
phone for. It's a really short headline and
that is I caught my girlfriend. And cheating on me with an AI
Bots. Hold on.
So is the girlfriend cheating on with the AI Bots?
Yeah, look I'm now mind blown. I thought when you mentioned it
before you're talking about a bloke and I was like there's a
lot of weird dudes out there who future is now.
People are already having relationship issues because of a
I so she had obviously been like horny texting with this a I
bought. And he's seen the chat and he's
like I don't know how to feel like it.
Not a real person but it's like she's gone to something else so
she would have been in Pleasure Town while talking to a
computer. Yeah, I guess that is the I I'm
not I'm not surprised that it's a female because, you know,
women are always into like, erotica, you know, with their, I
didn't know this. I'm actually, I'm actually the
shades of great women really get turned on by reading erotica,
whereas men are more visual. So yeah fun fact for you.
So it doesn't surprise me that it's a woman like and this is
like next-level erotica where she can actually why interact.
So I just think this is like a woman version of a new age
version of porn for women. I have so many questions for
you. Why is it?
That women get turned on by reading.
It's just the way our brains worked.
So does that work for you? I don't know.
Maybe I should try it. Yeah, I'm gonna go buy it.
Say that I've read Fifty Shades of Grey or anything like that,
I'm going to. That's like yeah, I've read that
data before. Well, any gentleman listening
and it makes sense because you know like Twilight and I like in
Twilight. Did you read it though?
Know you watched it. Yeah so that's fascinating.
Well, Interesting. It's weird that I my first
thought was that's got to be a bloke, like I didn't even listen
to who you said it was. I was just assumption.
That's definitely do doing that. Yeah, I know, dudes, just go
straight to point out. Whatever it is.
What's the other one red tube? Yes.
Not that, I noticed, Grapevine. Yeah, right there.
So there you go. That's that's fascinating.
I am, I've got chat apt open over there so we'll test it out
with you after If I were him I wouldn't be too worried about it
because I mean he has to ask himself, does he watch porn?
Yeah, good point. And if he does and he can't be
mad. It's enemy.
Wonder if I don't know. It's going to open a whole is AI
is going to get more advanced eventually it's so scary.
They're going to put AI into robots and then put a into what
pretty much is our psyche has our phone is an extension of us.
It's just not inside us. We can open it up and do that
now. And then they're going to start
putting like in dildos and flashlights on it.
A well they'll just make it like a robot that you can Bang.
Six robots with that you can talk to and knows what you like
knows your kinks and really like to do that.
That's creepy. That's the Erica.
That's crossing a line for those who are watching the show toes
down but for those who are listening, I was clinically
humping lucky. They don't need to description.
Well I think it's pretty you got it.
I could have thought it was like Vanessa, oh yeah.
But well, yeah, it's good. I think a eyes gonna really
causing trouble in the relationship world.
And also are called can't find women.
Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I reckon there's going to
be a lot like, for some reason. My, my belief is as a lot,
actually, once again, listen to a podcast, a lot of data showing
how lonely a lot of men are and they just sort of sit inside.
And once again data, I'm going to quote it because I can't
remember it. But I'll people want to know or
send them in around how lonely a lot of men are and they're
literally just sitting at home. Smoking weed playing video.
Is watching porn, and it's why there's a lot of angry men
because they aren't. So, obviously socializing and
developing those skills, which is crazy scary.
So here would be my advice. Don't watch porn.
What's your wife? Two women don't read sexual
stuff. Read your bloke.
Get your husband to read. Fifty Shades of Grey tea.
Yeah, or just write words on your whizzer of kidding.
That's too far, sorry. But it is interesting and maybe
it is an insight into her Kinks or whatever she likes.
I'm actually yeah maybe run with that run with it.
Maybe you guys. Can you say hi chat but together
to yeah, maybe you can talk in a robot.
Voice. Oh my God.
I'm so horny for you. People think we ought to do our
pet peeves, hot on we've. Wait, hey, you got some candy
left. Drink it cold, though.
Ready Set? That's a good Buzz.
Ah, that was around every week because you still haven't well,
yeah, I got so much on. So that brings me to my pet pig.
Rocky has got so much on. He's got the perfect schedule
and he manages to fit everything in like a Tetris block.
As we've heard like a Tetris block before I like that, but he
hasn't Managed to incorporate. I just haven't prioritized it.
Time to put away his clothes so you're going to say put the
buzzer on. You have to wash your clothes
anymore. You get them folded.
Well, here's can I ra but and no, I'm not done yet.
And they just sit in the basket and the pile is growing and
growing and growing there used to be this ghost around home
that if I'd leave it there long enough it just end up in my
cupboards and I don't know where it's gone.
It's gone. It must come with the
lighthouse. I've gone to the other side.
Yeah, well look in my defense, actually, there's not really a
defense but I'll just throw something in.
Throw a ball in the air and see if you catch it.
I was saying I even I said it before but all these extra
things just keep popping up advances.
Like now we're going to the coast I'd started at their
beginning the week which is why I was a bit apprehensive about
going to the coast because that was when I was going to get my
life admin done and now so we're all going to the coast how good?
I'm like that's good but there's a lot of things that I was
planning on doing this weekend that now I'm going to get done.
Oh, you planning on folding, your clothes I was going to do
that is going to clean this office out.
Like it just gives me anxiety. Has been thrown and Catch it.
I missed it actually, because conch, I'm just hearing excuses.
All you have to do is put them in your pigeon hole.
I'm a, she can't catch as well. All right, I guess what your
goal is this week today. All you do is put your clothes,
all right? Well the cupboard, what's your
pet? Peeve?
My pet peeve, this week is probably countering. the tetris
block, you'll like A sandbag with the time or actually a bag
of rice with a snip cut off the top, and some are just going
shaking and shits going everywhere.
Like Chaos and for me as we spoke about did we speak about
on the last episode where I was like even just trying to get you
locked in for a podcast episode or so many other things is like
any bit of routine to sit down and do things as I really really
hard unless it's like let's do it right now and so that really
marks up my Tetris. So we maybe you're mucking up my
rice bag. Everyone knows discipline equals
Freedom, time management, helps you be disciplined.
And in order you're going to don't get, don't coach me, man.
I'm just helping because I know you're a busy girl.
You got a lot of things going on, which means the busier you
get. Imagine if we had kids or stuff
like that, you got to manage your time like a mofo.
Okay. So we need to prioritize the
things that are important, you don't do things on a whim, like
I'm actually feeling my nails today.
I'm feeling my lashes to the size.
I like doing that. Yeah, that's fine.
I love being. I don't want to schedule in my
nails, like, schedule, it. I like being spontaneous.
There's no but that's fine. But schedule some time to be
spontaneous but it's really hard for you and your position where
you've got a team of people trying to help you guys and
you're like, you just fit in with us and where Like well
we've got lives as well you know.
So that would be my thing. There's a little bit more
structure helps. Okay you can schedule in
spontaneity time. We've scheduled in our podcast
time. Yep Schedule D.
Now Tick Tock time. Oh we haven't actually spoken
about it. Think about what we're going to
do a live online podcast? Are we?
I mentioned this to you don't play Silly buggers with me.
Okay so we got how that's going to work.
We're going to create an event. It's obviously going to be
online. Line.
But we're going to have will be doing it.
Like we're doing it right now and you guys can be sitting on
the other other side will actually have a computer screen
so we can look and wave at you and stuff, which will be fun
because what we eventually want to do is I do a mini tour, but
we want to, I guess see how it works.
How it feels, and you do that. So, once again, if you're in a
name is Patron, you'll probably get the information first and
for everyone else. You just got to stay tuned to
our Instagram and stuff to get the link to be able to register
for that. We'll give you a month's notice.
So we do want to look to do it in like four weeks from this
episode just so you can all clear schedules and put it in
the diary, all right. That's gonna be enough from us
but next week's episode is going to be a hoot, you know why?
Because we're going hiking today and then next week, Amy and I
will be in Perth so we're going to have people behind the scenes
hiking she does. All right hurry