I found something really fucked up in my husband's phone.
What should be the course of action?
What ages are we? She's 22, female, young to be
married. And he's.
Yeah. Hi, I'm Amy Shepherd.
I'm Lochlin Stuart. And although we have different
last names. We're married now.
We've been told the secret to a successful marriage is
communication. So we're going to talk it out
every week, share our challenges and pet peeves, Then we're
setting each other some goals. Some couple goals, Couple goals.
The podcast is for those who might be looking to laugh their
way through challenging scenarios that all couples go
through. Occasionally, we might even get
some other couples to join in. Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't.
You hit Subscribe and TuneIn every week to hear our weekly
couple goals. Welcome back.
Welcome back Episode 20 of Season 2.
Of course, I think it's episode 70 overall.
Wow. It's a couple episode, a bit of
chinwag. How long?
Have you been doing this like? Since 2022.
So yeah, two years. Two years of couple goals made
this bar. It's pretty impressive, very
impressive. What's been going on in your
life the last seven days since our last episode?
Oh, it's been. Busy lots of Christmas events
and birthday parties. Two close friends birthday
parties. This weekend alone we had our
gym Christmas party. Last night.
We sort of, we sort of went for
an hour, said good day and then got out of there.
Yeah. Only reason being is we're both
not drinking. And I find it very hard to talk
to people when the music's Duff duffing, like my voice is really
strained. Yeah, that's why I really
struggle at shows to interact with people before the show.
I get really sort of annoyed if I have too many people in the
green room because I want to talk to them or they want to
talk to me. And it's it actually wears out
my voice before the show. And also if you go anywhere
after, like if there's an after party, it's always like quite
taxing on the vocal cords. You don't really notice, but
yeah, until you're in a loud environment like that, talking
to so many people and you come back and you're like.
Your voice, it feels like you've chuffed down a pack of Winnie
gold. Yeah, it's.
Just been like, it's harder on The Voice than singing.
Yeah, he is. Last night I was like, Oh my
goodness, this is hurting. So we got out of there because
we knew we had this episode today.
That's exactly why we left. We were saving our voices for
this Sunday. Morning.
Here we are. Here we are.
Sprite. How about breaking an egg with?
Only you cooked me bacon and eggs I dish picked.
After last week's episode talking about how that husband
expects the bacon and. Egg.
Well, I ran Amy a tea upstairs in bed and she's and she's like
is there any any breakfast happening?
And I was like, It doesn't appear there's any signs of
breakfast happening, however. So.
You might be I. Took initiative.
Yeah, that's exactly right. So a little bit of inception
there. I played my cards and.
I felt like pancakes so bad this morning.
Would have been nice. I was contemplating making it
and I was like, you know what, let's have the bacon and eggs
and see how we feel. Rather than well done, well done
I. Think it was a good call 'cause
now we're satiated. Satiated for a little bit
longer. I hate that word.
I'm so says yeah, I don't. Know why?
I've heard it too many times on Instagram.
Like Instagram? You're just full for fucks sake.
That's. Appreciated.
You're satisfied. Okay, it's fine.
I get it. You're full.
You've sufficiently eaten. Well, I'm gonna ask myself, what
did I have on this weekend? This week I had two
presentations. It was November's Men NN's Men's
Health Month, aligned with November, so I had a
presentation for Tribeca Investments, which was awesome.
We had the private room at the Stanley Hideout for that one.
That was awesome fun. Killed the presentation.
And then the next day was one for the Collective, which is the
Ray White Group for their Movember lunch, and that was
also awesome. I got that was at the Gabba at
the Cricketers Club. I've never been in there, but
that was great fun. Cool, Yeah.
And what else have? Been there for a wedding I
think. There you go.
That was not. The camera's different.
Cricket Cricketers Club. Amy Shepherd.
Yeah, he wouldn't have ever picked that one, not at all.
But do you? Remember the cricket had me as
their like influencer. That was the one because Amy and
Emma used to get, well still do get asked to go to a lot of
events and they had been asked to the cricket a number of times
and declined and didn't. What was it, the big bash or
something? Yeah, the big bat.
No, it's a one day. One day it was good.
And so we went to that, which is amazing.
I've ate that opportunity. Up.
Yeah, I was going to say no because I don't watch cricket
and don't particularly like it and Lucky was like, please, I'm
going to go. Do it for me if you really love
me. I got to take Lucky as my guest,
but I felt, I mean, everyone knew that I we didn't know.
What was going on? We made friends though, with
those blokes next to us, remember?
We did. So that was always.
It was actually fun just to be in the atmosphere and.
It's so much fun if you don't. If you've never been to a live
sporting event, highly recommend it.
Cricket's a great one because you definitely get your money's
worth. You're there for at least a day,
so it's good fun. As opposed to other sports?
Well, well, that's not really. Happening I prefer like the
basketball. Yeah, basketball's good hockey.
Hockey's quick. Good.
That's about as much sport as I can handle it.
If not, go. No, there you go.
Anyway. And that's about.
I can't remember nothing really. Yeah.
How did? Your talks go.
Awesome. So we the talks were obviously
for men's health in November, which we're talking about
prostate cancer, testicular cancer and then mental health,
suicide prevention. And I tie that into my story and
the 58 marathons coming out, which is 52 days away today
until we kick off. Oh, that deserves a post.
That does deserve a post. I'm just waiting on my video guy
to send send it through two days.
Hit him up. But it's not too far away.
So that's awesome. And it was actually eye opening
for me. And this was a good lesson.
And one of my mentors, Benny, came along to one of the
presentations that made awesome killed it.
But he's like, I think you don't.
I think you underestimate how or inspiring it is to the average
person in regards to what you're doing.
And he's I understand you're, you have to be in the headspace
room where it doesn't seem like a big deal in order to get it
done. But for most people, there's so
many questions and you could probably go into a little bit
more detail around that. So that was cool.
Cool. And hopefully if it all comes
off, we should raise around $100,000, which was my
fundraising goal initially for the whole run.
So if we if we get that in this Thursday, we're going to move
the goal to $1,000,000, which scares me.
I find it more intimidating. Yeah, putting it out there that
you're going to raise X amount of funds because at least with
the run, I'm in control of it. I know I can do it.
Yeah, but I think people want to be involved.
They want to help you. They want to donate to a good
cause. Lots of people have been in
everyone, if not directly, second hand, direct, affected by
men's mental health issues or men's health issues.
So people want to be involved. They want to help, they want to
see change. Yeah, and it's inspiring.
So I think there's no reason why you couldn't get to that goal.
I know, but for me, and I think this is a lesson for life, is
there's moments where you feel like an imposter, there's
moments where you doubt yourself.
And for me, it's not so much physically, but it's more so
putting your putting yourself out there to say I'm going to
raise this much money because to me it's like very scary.
And what if I fail? And that's what that's for me,
while my 100,000 feels safe, I think I can get that.
But $1,000,000 on my that's pretty scary.
And what if I fail? So we'll just play that by ear.
But that's a lesson that I've got to but.
Even if you get close to yeah. Of course, yeah, that's just a
hurdle I've got a leap over. So that was great fun and
hopefully more talks will come in once it's done.
I don't think you'll be doing too many more.
I think I've got one more, so we'll see how that comes along.
Ideally, no more until after it's done because now I'm just
getting to the point in where I have to say no to a lot of
things, like last night. Probably would have liked to
have stayed a little bit longer. However, I need to protect my
energy because every day now that I, I guess don't recover
well or don't eat enough is going to impact me on the run,
which it's very like, I don't think people understand that
well, in my head, I don't think people understand that that Now
I may be becoming across very selfish, which I am for this,
but I also understand that if I don't prep as well as I can,
it's going to bite me in the ass somewhere along the way.
And I've got people who've invested thousands of dollars in
it for me to succeed. So I can't take that lightly.
Anyway, enough about me. Let's let's go to segment #2 get
to know us as we get to know each other.
We've got our six questions coming back.
Amy, would you like to go first or shall I go first?
Oh. You go first one.
I'll go first, OK? I love it when I get to go
first. This is perfect.
So we'll start with a serious one.
OK? What's the most valuable lesson
you've learned from a past argument that we have had?
Oh, past argument probably that we it's OK to have different
values and things or different ways of doing things, as long as
we can understand that. It's almost like the love
languages thing where it's like you might value waking up early
so you can have some quiet time. And I might value sleeping in
because I value a little bit of extra sleep in the morning.
Makes me feel good. Well, you get your quiet time at
night. Yes, and I get mine in the
morning. Yeah.
And I think that does take some getting used to in any
relationship. And just because somebody
doesn't do the same things the same way as you doesn't mean
they're not like growing with you or on the same path as you.
How do you feel about me getting up early?
I don't mind, I just don't like it when your alarm wakes me up
because I struggle to get back to sleep and I feel like I've
had broken sleep so I don't mind.
I like that you get up early and you're productive.
I'm the slob of the group, I guess.
The couple slob. I'm in bed by 8 o'clock 8:30 at
the latest. Yeah.
All right, hit me up. What do you got for me?
How do you think we've grown as a couple over the past year?
In a lot of ways we obviously moved overseas.
I think we've become, not that we weren't dependent on each
other, but I think we can fight in each other a lot more.
I think like we turn to each other.
Yeah. I think that's probably the
biggest thing that I've noticed is as much as we've got great
support around each other, we probably go to each other first
more often than we did. I don't know but.
Yeah, I think I should. Yeah.
I feel like we're getting closer and closer.
I know it was possible, but. It's it's happening.
I'm I'm witnessing it first hand.
All right, this will be a good one.
This will be an absolute Delta. Ladies and gentlemen, if you
could swap lives with one celebrity for a day didn't, who
would it be this week and why No did we?
Yeah, we had this question last week.
Let me just scroll up. Well, all right, let's skip that
one and we'll come back. I don't remember that one.
Who'd you choose anyway? I chose like I wanted to be a
male celebrity because I wanted to experience what it was like
to be a male so. Well, there you go.
Anyway, I think I chose someone like some rich male.
Like Elon Musk, Brad Pitt, maybe Brad Pitt.
OK, well. Imagine being like Donald Trump
and changing things that you wanted to change.
Oh, because you're president, you know.
All right, well, let's ask you another one.
Would you rather fight fight 10 duck sized horses or one horse
sized duck? Oh my goodness, probably 10 duck
sized horses. What about you?
That's a big ass duck. Imagine a big horse sized duck.
Holy. Quack, that would be scary.
I'd be going after the the definitely the duck sized
horses. It'd be kind of funny to watch
too. It'd be so cute.
Like, would you put like Woody Woody and Bloody Buzz on the
back of them and let them charge at you?
Yeah. That's hilarious.
That's a weird one, but that's a good one.
OK, if you were a character in a ROM com, what would your big
romantic gesture look like? I'm probably going to say I
really love the scene from The Notebook.
The rain. Yeah, the rain there and the
clocks and it's just raining. Not the one where they go to the
well, they do go to the house, but I like that.
What do you want? I think that's nice, but if I
had a more romantic gesture, I think I would love to just and I
probably will do this one day. Ladies and gentlemen, spoiler
alert, have your passport already and just book us like a
first class flight to somewhere. I'm not going to say where.
Yes. And you just I'll just put all
right, we're going for breakfast.
I've already packed your bags. Probably not with the clothes
you want, but it doesn't matter. And we end up at the airport and
boom, that would be we're going somewhere.
Incredible. And it would probably just make
it even more romantic if it was raining along the way, but the
rain stopped so we didn't have turbulence on the way out.
Yes, that's right. That's what I think.
That would be my romantic gesture.
OK, what's one thing I do for you that makes you feel the most
loved? This is going to be a good
answer. I think it's just like all the
little things, you know, It's like the bringing the tea in the
morning. It's always, you know, you just
text me that you love me or I don't know, I just feel like you
really genuinely care about me. I just see some other partners
and they don't seem to care that much.
You know, they might take their partners for granted, and I
never feel that I've been taken for granted.
Well, there you go, ladies and gentlemen.
Tea in the morning, A random love.
Your message goes a long way. Oh, you're 10.
You're 10. It's me.
OK, what's your dream pet that you would never actually get?
See I'm torn here because I feel like a dog obviously but I'm
also with how our life is. I don't think I would ever own a
pet because you become so close to them.
It's the responsibility. You should treat it like a
person. You don't just walk out on it.
I. Don't know but if you could have
any random pet. Honey Badger.
Honey Badgers are so fascinating.
Like if you Google honey badger and it doesn't come up with the
football player, you'll see a honey badger like can get bitten
by a snake and pretend to die and then it'll come back alive.
Like I think that's. Weasel.
They're so cute. Yeah.
That would be wild. Box.
Some people have boxes. Check out honey Badgers and tell
me they're not one of the greatest animals on the planet.
You know what I'd love? I know it's not my question.
It's not her question. I would love an aquarium.
I didn't. Have That's not an animal,
that's a whole. Thing animals in there, like an
octopus. OK, I would love a whole game
farm in South Africa where I get to see my rhinos, snakes,
zebras. Game farm, Is that where you
shoot them? Well, I wouldn't shoot them, but
I would just have that sanctuary.
Sanctuary, an Oasis, you may call it.
What's something you think couples should talk about more
but rarely do? This is these are the hard
hitting questions, ladies and gentlemen.
I think just. Maybe the mundane things because
sometimes you don't realize how much they actually add up.
You know, you're like, oh, this shit thing happened to me, but
I'm not going to talk about it because I don't think it's
important. And then like I noticed with
you, like you mentioned something that happened to a
friend when we're in conversation, I'm like, you
didn't tell me that, and it's probably because you thought
that I wouldn't care or that it wasn't that interesting.
Yeah, I don't or. Yeah, or you just forget or
whatever, but yeah. I don't think I go from one
conversation. You're OK?
These are all the key points from that one.
I have to relay them. Yeah, my brain doesn't work like
that. I think females work more like
that. Yeah.
And I think then often just skip over details or, you know, they
don't really talk about their feelings much.
And they're just like, oh, she'll be right.
Whereas if you if you hear the girls, that'll tell you every
key dot, point and more from the previous conversation.
I sit there a lot of the time being like, is any of that kind
of influence or impact my life? No check out then like
daydreaming about pizza or something.
Anything else? Your turn.
Oh, what's something that you've learned about me recently that
surprised you? Oh, I think I knew this, but I
very much think you've grabbed it by the balls now.
It's like you're very independent and also strong
minded. I've have watched it in so many
ways. I think like of the family,
you're like the one everyone leans on, really.
Yeah, I think so for sure. Interesting.
You just get shit done. No fucking around, no whinging,
just get it done. Yeah, got to get it done to move
forward. Exactly.
I like that. OK, your turn.
I know you're going to really love this question.
If you could only eat one dessert forever, what would it
be? You know this answer?
I think everyone who's listening probably knows this answer.
For me, it's ice cream. Spoiler alert, I don't really
discriminate. Except I don't love nuts in ice.
Cream I don't really discriminate.
I. Don't like peanuts and ice
cream? Mcadamia is fine.
Taking nuts out to the ice cream.
Oh, like nuts. Like picnic bar.
Anyway, with ice cream. I don't really discriminate. 10
minutes later, rant over. When it comes to ice cream,
there's just no better ice cream than the plain old chocolate.
Ice cream, that's. The top tier dessert.
I like it. I like it.
Well, there you go, ladies and gentlemen.
Is there any more? Are we done there?
I've got one more. Oh, OK.
If we had to start a band, a couples band, what would You and
I, You and I, what would we name it, what would we name it, and
what instrument would you play? Wow, now is this like based off
of where I'm currently at or would this be like if I could
just pull a rabbit out of the tap?
Pull a rabbit out. OK, OK.
I've got a good. Name locking in the Stooges,
locking in the Stooge. And I would play the guitar,
because the guitar. Who's the Stooges?
Oh, it's a couples band, isn't it?
What would your name be for it? Stupard.
Stuart and Sherburn, yeah.
I like that stupard. That sounds like a good name
and. And I might play the drums just
for something. Different bang and crash and
make some noise, but don't but don't.
All right, Well, that's us getting to know each other.
Hopefully you learned something about us.
I learned something about you, which is great.
Now let's go to the next segment where we will be talking about
Amy's Reddit story. Let's do it.
OK no sorry I gotta find the OK sorry I was on the wrong page.
Pregnant. Pause.
Go. I found something really fucked
up in my husband's phone. What should be the course of
action? What ages are we?
She's 22, female, young to be married, and he's.
Yeah. Oh yeah, it's only been a few
months. A few months we got married.
It's only been a few months. We got married.
This doesn't really make sense, but OK, they've been married for
a few months. We were dating for two years
before I was decluttering his gallery and this is something he
knows I do from time to time because his gallery is full of
useless pictures he doesn't need anymore, so I do it to save
space. We both have full access to each
other's phones. Today I deleted.
Something. How do you know what's useful or
useless in someone's phone though?
I don't know, like duplicates screenshots of a holiday you
took three months ago. Yeah.
But that could be, there could have been like a key bit of
information on there or you don't know.
Anyway, that's apparently what they do as.
Well, that's stupid. Today I deleted something I
didn't mean to, so I went to the trash folder to retrieve.
Oh my goodness, what do you guys think was in the trash folder?
What do you think was in the trash?
Folder I know I've. Read this.
OK, well, I don't know. I'm so shaken and I don't know
how to write this. My fingers are trembling.
There were two nudes of my friends that were AI generated.
Can you do that? I guess so.
Don't even think about it. Lucky.
No, I wasn't thinking about it. I was just like, wow.
I know. That's so like catchy PT Or what
app did he use? Isn't that?
I guess it's not illegal yet, but it.
Will be illegal. That will definitely be illegal.
Sex crime or like a, you know, it's like revenge porn.
It's. It's in that category.
It's not ideal. Meaning he probably uploaded
their photo in some website that undresses you.
Why is that even a website? Why is that even a website that
does that? My blood went cold, I was
stuttering, I couldn't breathe like my heart was palpitating.
I really really love him and saw no love.
Loved. Him.
So is the love gone? I don't know what to do.
It's TLDR therefore. I don't know.
Too little Dick round today. Better.
Timeline direct? I don't know.
I confronted him. The audacity he had you guys.
Firstly, to those of you saying we have no boundaries, yes with
clingy, no. He's never once said it was a
problem with me going through his phone.
This is normal for us. It wasn't.
I wasn't even decluttering because I was suspicious and
wanted to find something. He seriously has lots of useless
shit. Secondly, he was perfectly
saintly before this. Literally no one could have
guessed he'd do this anyway. He tried very hard to explain
that this doesn't count as cheating, even though he said
that if if I did it he wouldn't have forgiven me.
Even though he's been such a loudmouth about how cheating is
the worst, trust is all that's important, cheetahs deserve the
worst, blah blah blah. He revealed to me that he has
had a porn addiction this whole time and he watches porn
specifically when we had a fight and he's mad at me so he does it
to private. He just pulls himself together
was in general. Literally he said it's my fault.
Classic for making him mad and fighting with him.
He also assumed that I fantasize about other guys too, which FYI
absolutely do not and never have.
Since we were together. He's all I cared about and
wanted. He told me he regrets marrying
me and wonders what it would have been like marrying my
friends. Oh the whole my whole entire
life is built around this man. I never thought that something
like this could happen to me, but here we are anyway, blah
blah blah blah. That is rude.
Or, well, that's a. Lot of time back.
Then I think the writing is. I feel like that.
That update really like unravelled quickly.
Yeah, I think you got. Married.
They assume they're done right. Well, how can you come back from
someone saying they wish that they.
Were never married you yeah, that's you're done.
Yeah, you would. Well, I think it's a blessing
that you found those photos sooner rather than later.
You're in the 22. Get out there. 22 is very young
to be married, don't you? I do, yeah.
I think you. Especially.
Test the waters kissing frogs. Don't marry them all.
Kissing toads, Yeah, and frogs. Frogs, and they tend to.
Beetles, whatever you're into kissing.
Yeah, I think. Yeah.
I think women mature a lot earlier than men do as well.
It's true. I think so.
I think for men even a little bit later, but women, yeah, once
in, it's their own. Some people.
I'm just speaking from my experience.
I definitely didn't know my ass from my elbow till I was about
28, so I had a lot of learning to do.
What about you? When did you when did you learn
the difference between your ass and elbow?
Probably like I mean from a young age.
I think women are really good. I just I look at even like.
I'm going to say 21. Yeah, I just think like, boys
don't. I'm thinking like, yeah, we're
just still eating dirt, like playing around with bugs and
stuff. Whereas women and even like
young girls seem to go into this more nurturing and caring role
from a young, younger age. Yeah, it's biology.
And yeah, so and I think because of that, you become more self
aware, you're more in tune with your body, you listen more in
conversation, so you connect in the dots.
Whereas blokes are just a footy, you're here, it sucks.
I'm just generalizing here for anyone who's getting laughed
out. So yeah, if you're getting
married, like I think definitely.
I'm just personally, I it worked out exactly how it's supposed to
work out for us because I needed to work a few things out.
I needed to understand myself more, and then I needed to find
you. But I found you at 23.
Yeah, so we didn't. We were young, but we we had the
longest dating. I was getting ridiculed a
little. Bit sooner, but.
I don't I was, you know, seven years before engagement was
good. Oh my gosh, the seven-year rule
29. It was, Yeah, a one year.
Anyway, your 30th birthday it. Happens, yeah.
Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in for
episode 20. Remember, if you're enjoying
these, you can find more over at Amy's Patreon, which is.
Amy shepherd pie So patreon.com/amy Shepherd pie.
And if you haven't subscribed to Spotify, Apple Podcasts or
YouTube, make sure you do that as well.
Our Spotify, because I'm all in the data at the moment, it's
growing very quickly and we're getting a lot more subscribers,
which I'm loving to see. So we've got listeners all over
the world, which is great. So maybe one day, if we keep
growing the numbers, we'll go on tour and we won't be sitting on
this desk. We'll get ouches.
Oh yeah. That'll be for ah.
Stop it. I'm excited.
We'll get it right. Yeah.
Alright, ladies and gentlemen, who wrote.