How's it going everyone? Today we have a story time of an
iPad kid who refuses to shower. This might be the stinkiest kid
of all time and you're just prepare yourself for the levels
of cringe. This is next level crazy.
But leave a like on the video right now to claim your to claim
your free nothing. Subscribe to the channel if
you're new and like stories. And with that all being said,
guys, let's just jump right into it.
So we're going to call the subscriber who submitted the
story, Andrew. So this all happened one day in
class, Andrew sitting in class and he's sitting with this kid
who we're going to call Ben because we always call the kid
Ben. We always do.
It's a thing on the channel if you haven't picked it up yet.
Anyways, Ben is what 1 might call an iPad kid.
So I want to make it super clear I loved my iPad growing up and I
was not an iPad kid. I got outside, I liked science,
I like playing with my friends, I like doing things.
When I say iPad kid, it doesn't mean that you're on an iPad.
In fact, you could literally be an iPad kid without even owning
an iPad. When I say iPad kid, I mean it's
the type of kid who sits there all day scrolling on brain rod
watching YouTube shorts 24/7 man.
That means type of kid who's just literally sitting there and
just absorbing large quantities of slop every single day.
And because of that, they come up with some pretty wacko ideas
such as the one in this story who I'm not even going to spoil
it. So we're just going to get down
anyways. So they sit down one day and
they come back from break. So, you know, Andrew's coming
back from winter break. He's a little bummed, of course,
right, 'cause he's like, shoot, now I gotta actually do work and
I gotta do things, which is oh, so fun, right?
And he sits down and they kind of have these.
They have these like kind of, so instead of rows of individual
desks in this classroom, they have these kind of table blocks.
So it's like little tables and there's four people per table
and there's like six of those tables.
I don't know, I've been in classrooms that have been like
that before. I've been in classrooms with
rows of seats. I've been in classrooms with
like circular desks. I mean, that was more like a
college thing. But anyways, so there's one seat
left and Ben, who's in his class is super late.
Anyways, Ben gets in and or you know, class starts a couple of
minutes late. Ben opens the door.
He's like, oh so sorry, like so sorry teacher, like, blah, blah,
that kind of stuff. And teacher's like fine, just go
sit down. So Ben is not looking so hot.
Ben has like, I'm just going to describe this kid.
So basically this kid, Ben has a creeper shirt on, which by the
way, I love Minecraft, Minecraft's fire.
Nothing wrong with a creeper hoodie.
Not a shirt. It's already a hoodie, but the
creeper hoodie is like these massive sticky stains all over
it. Like this hoodie is unironically
crusty bro. Like this.
Like buddy's coming in with a crusty hoodie and his hair is
like the definition of crazy grease.
And I look, there's something where it's like if you wash your
hair everyday for certain hair types, that's actually bad for
it. So I'm not saying like there's a
little bit of natural oil in his hair.
In fact, like even a little bit too much natural oil.
Hey, man, I'm going to let it slide.
Who? It's fine, but Buddy could have,
if Buddy was set on fire, if if there was a match lit next to
Buddy's head, boom, the whole place would have exploded with
the amount of oil. Bro, he would have been.
He would have been able to supply the local McDonald's for
a year for their deep fat fryers for their French fries, man.
He would have enough oil grease to supply them for quite a
while. So he comes walking over and
then, you know, not trying to judge a book by its cover, but
maybe you can judge a candle by its smell because, you know,
Andrew's sitting there, whatever.
And then Ben sits down and it's almost like there's like a lag
effect. There's like a lag effect of
like the stink wave that comes over.
So he sits down and then boom, it's like a brick hits Andrew in
the face. Because this wave of just
undeniably terrible odor just comes powering through, smashes
into Andrew's face. He's he has to, he, he flinches,
he recoils a little bit. He's like, Oh my God, like this
is actually next level terrible. You know, here's the thing, like
sometimes, you know, you go to the gym and you don't have a
change of clothes. You have to go to something.
And it's a little tough, It's a little bit embarrassing.
But like at the end of the day, it's like, you know, you got you
got to do what you got to do. It's fine.
But this is like next level. Like buddy might have had a
dying animal under his shirt, right?
A decomposing dying animal under his shirt.
By the way, to this mouth, someone might have poured milk
into his socks and shoes like a month ago and he just put them
in and put his feet in and didn't notice and walk in.
Like, that's the level of just, things are not going well
ANYWAYS. So.
So Andrew just is like sitting there and he has to like, pull
up his shirt over his nose to like, breathe into his shirt
'cause it's so bad. And like, the other two kids at
the table are just like, they like, scoot their chairs back.
They're like, Oh my God. Like it is genuinely terrible.
Anyways, the T-shirt's going on about something and that's where
Ben leans over. So at this point, Andrew's like,
no, no, no, no, no. And he's like, he's like Andrew,
Andrew, Andrew. Andrew's like, yes.
He's like, dude, I get to tell you about the craziest thing I
learned on YouTube Shorts a couple of weeks ago.
He's like, uh huh. And at this point, Andrew's kind
of like, oh, God, like, what now?
Like, what is this? What crazy conspiracy theories
this kid about to peddle to me? Like, what nonsense?
What did he see, bro? He's like, dude, I don't know if
you've noticed, but all the ladies in this class, dude,
they're so into me right now. And this completely took Andrew
off guard because one the the ladies were clearly not
interested. Guys, if I I got to give a
little recommendation if you're trying to impress the ladies
man, maybe one thing I wouldn't start with is a weird stain
crusty Minecraft hoodie with infinite stains, infinite crust
that is looks like it's never been washed ever and you had it
for 25,000 years. Maybe don't start with that.
Maybe also take a shower once a month.
Maybe if we got it because it's looking like you're not
showering at all bro. So let's at least take a shower.
Maybe, maybe maybe I'm crazy to tell you to do that, but maybe
you should. In addition, maybe a little
Cologne could work here, But what the iPad kids about to tell
you next completely makes this all make sense.
Not make sense in a oh, you're right, but in a oh, I see why
you're so wrong type situation. So Andrew's looking at this band
like, dude, are you nuts? Like, I don't think the girls
like you, bro. Like, I, I like, I'm not, I'm
not gonna like, I don't know, burst your bubble and destroy
your confidence for absolutely no reason.
But to say the least, Ben might not be optimizing himself to be
best for the ladies, or so we thought.
So Ben is like, he's still leaning over.
He's like, dude, I found out about this crazy thing.
It's awesome. It's so I've been looks maxing
recently. Immediately Andrew's like, oh,
brother, yeah. So there's this whole thing on
the Internet right now. It's called Looks Maxing, where
it's like you do all these things to make yourself more
attractive or something like that.
And some of it's pretty good, like, you know, physical
exercise, eating right, having like very basic things.
So here's the thing, like generally the healthier you are,
the better looking you are relative to your baseline.
I'm not saying that someone's, there's a lot of like quote UN
quote, typically attractive people that are like super
unhealthy because they're like way too skinny or something or
yeah, so like I'm not saying that's a correlation that's
super tight. But what I'm saying is like, if
you get better sleep, you go exercise and you eat cleaner,
you are going to look better than if you didn't do those
things on a relative scale. That's true generally, right?
But there's also all this other stuff of like, if you hit your
face with a hammer, you're going to become handsome.
Squidward giga chat. I'm like, I'm like, guys, I
don't know if that makes a lot of sense to me.
I'm just being straight. I'm not sure if that makes a lot
of sense, but basically this kid, this iPad kid, Ben must
have gone down some crazy rabbit hole.
And instead of being like, oh, I guess I'm going to go to the gym
or I'm going to dress better or I'm going to wear Cologne or I'm
going to do this or I'm going to.
There's a long list of things that you can do that are super
reasonable that will make you more attractive than you are
now. Your your chances will just
simply be better. And also, I'm going to be
honest, like a lot of a lot of times, if you're doing that,
probably what you need is you just need more confidence.
I'm going to be honest, if you're spending a little bit too
much time trying to optimize every NTH degree of your
appearance and every quarter of everything you're doing, you're
probably getting diminishing returns.
Where the truth is you just need to go out and socialize, get
told no a bunch of times, get rejected a bunch of times and
just take that in the face, take that in the chin.
And then you're going to be like, hey, man, you know, if I
get rejected from a day to or something, it's actually not
that bad. Like I survive.
And that's the confidence you need.
So if you actually want advice from me, you know, just go out
there and get rejected a bunch. And then you'll build up the
confidence, be like, hey, it's not that deep.
And then that will actually be the best.
The most attractive thing about you is your confidence, right?
It pulls everything together. If you stand up straight and you
really don't care what they say, then they will say yes more
often than not. But instead, this kid, Ben
starts explaining how he found, he went down this rabbit hole
and he found this thing called pheromone maxing, where
basically he's decided that back in the day, Cavemen didn't have
access to showers. Genius, right?
Cavemen didn't have access to showers.
And since these Cavemen didn't have access to showers, you
know, they were more primal and that ladies didn't realize this,
but they would be secretly super attracted to anyone who is
pheromone maxing like Ben. So Ben is explaining this to
Andrew and interest is looking at him.
Like, dude, you might be you might be the biggest idiot of
all time. Like, are you seriously saying
that, you know, the girls in this cloud, like are going to be
super into you because you don't take like, is that your logic?
Oh, I'm going to. I'm going to, you know, I'm just
not gonna shower, man. They're gonna love me.
So yeah, this kid genuinely believes just because he doesn't
take a freaking shower, dude, then all the girls are gonna be
in love with him. So Andrew looks at Ben and he's
like, OK. And he's like yes and by the
way, I know this is true because when I walked by Sarah, Ava,
Lily and Emily today into class, they all turned and looked at me
and they all had a reaction. I am attention maxing and
pheromone maxing and it is proof that it works.
OK let's be honest. In reality he probably walked by
them and the tidal wave of just putrid rancid decaying germs
infestation just went by them. They're like Oh my God, is there
like a dead cow in the vent? Is is there just like a stink
bomb someone let like dropped off right here?
It is like is did a bug crawl into my nose, explode and
decompose and I didn't realize, like, what is going on?
Yeah. So they all yeah, they all did
pay attention to Ben. Don't get me wrong.
Like Ben got a ton of attention from these girls.
But let's be honest, the attention was, oh, my God, that
guy smells so bad. Which I don't know if you guys
need to be geniuses or you guys need to be absolute 10 out of
10. You understand how to talk to
the ladies. Like, you could sell a course on
it level to understand that, you know, if girls are paying
attention to you because you smell terrible and that's the
only reason why you're getting attention, you might want to,
you might want to go back to the drawing board on that one,
buddy. You might want to go back and
figure this one out. Yeah.
So sure enough, right, Ben is super confident.
And he goes on to tell Andrew that at lunch today, he's going
to ask out Ava. So Ava's the girl and we're
introducing a new character. Ava's a girl in their class
who's like the. You're very standard
stereotypical like pretty popular mean, right, that
combination, right. I mean, you see that all the
time in in middle school, high school, even in college, right
And I'm sorry, sorry guys, I have to break it to you.
That kind of archetype still exists beyond high school.
It's not as powerful as it was in high school right.
But you guys have ever seen the mean the movie Mean Girls?
Actually, I actually think it's not too bad of a movie myself,
but I mean that that movie actually does represent fairly
well. Obviously Mean Girls is is
comedic and it's an exaggeration, but it actually
does a fairly good job of representing it.
O they had a very similar situation.
There was this girl in her grade.
Her name was Ava. And she was like, her parents
were like, you know, they're the richest people in town.
So they had the big fancy house. And Ava's always been like super
mean and everything. But a bunch of girls are like,
Oh my God, she's super mean and her parents are super rich.
That must mean that she's awesome.
And because I am don't do anything else in my life besides
being a social climber, I need to hang out with her.
Yeah. So it was one of those
situations. And when Andrew heard that Ben
was going to ask Ava out at lunch in front of everyone, he
already knew this was about to be a disaster because this girl
was not known for being maybe courteous and would have been
like, hey, Ben, can we talk about this somewhere else?
This girl is not going to hold back and it's about to be bad.
Yeah. So let's just say that's not
going to be the greatest idea of all time anyways.
So you know, Andrew's told this and Ben just kind of looks at
him and he's like smiles. And he's like, what are you
jealous, buddy? And he's like, dude, Can you
imagine that this kid tells you something so incredibly
delusional and just insane. And then he looks at you and
he's just smiling. He's like, what Are you jealous?
What do you mean? Am I I jealous?
I'm just taking a second to process the crazy beyond crazy
thing you just told me, bro. I need a moment to take it all
in because it is too nuts. It is too crazy.
But Andrew's like, honestly, he's like, yeah, man, I know
you're going to get her. So good luck, man.
You know, it's let the best man win, which Andrew when he
submitted this story to me, which by the way, you want to
submit a story to me, go to Instagram.
Look up Connor Pugs, the guy with 1.2 mil who has my face
because that's me. Message me your story.
He basically said yeah. Was this kind of a little bit of
a not the nicest thing because he's knowingly leading Ben into
his demise? Sure.
But also this kid was being super pretentious and like
Andrew doesn't owe him anything. So I don't know if it's the
nicest thing to do, but I also think it's totally fine.
Anyways, you hear the lunch bell rang because it was lunch.
Immediately after that class, Andrew gets up, walking to lunch
and his friend, his friend Will, who's down the hall, has another
class. They always sit together at
lunch, and Andrew waits for a second and Will gets out of
class and they start walking there.
Andrew basically feels in Will about everything that just
transpired. And Will's like, dude, like,
that's crazy. Like we have to see this.
So immediately they go in and they it's a big lunch date.
It's big lunch room, big cafeteria.
They're like getting in line. Once they get their food, they
kind of scope out where Ava and like the popular girl group's
going to be. They're not going to like sit at
her table or anything. So you probably look at them
like, Oh my God, what are you nerds doing here or whatever,
right? Because if you weren't the
quarterback on the football team, then you were there for a
nerd. It was either or you're either
the star quarterback or you're a nerd in Avas world, very much
either or. No one between 1:00 or the
other. Anyways, sure enough, right,
they scope out of table and they get one right behind Avas table.
So they're able they both, it's a little weird cuz it's just the
two of them out this table and they're both at first they are
kind of bickering over who is gonna be sitting on the side
facing Avas table. And they eventually said screw
it, like whatever, we're both gonna be sitting on one side.
So super weird cuz when you sit down with your friends, it'll
you know, a lunch table or something.
One person sits on one side, the other person sits on the other
side obviously, but they're both sitting on the same side, which
is super weird. But no one really clocks it or
flags it or anything like that. And it was, it might have been a
little strange at the moment, but it was not as bad as what's
about to come. Yeah.
So sure enough, they're sitting there.
It's Andrew. It's his friend Will.
They're watching. And you can just see Ava's
actually facing them, which is perfect because they get a front
row view into her reaction. Sure, this is a little mean to
them to do, but also, dude, I'm not going to lie, if I don't
want, if I had to come back from winter break, I'm already kind
of bummed about having to do that.
And I get a little bit of entertainment from this kid
who's kind of being a jerk to me in class and is going to learn
his lesson. It's not like something bad's
going to happen. But anyways, they see him, they
see Ben walking in and Ben is like strutting in, but he
actually has a good posture. Like he's doing a little bit of
what I said in the beginning when I said, guys, if you really
want to be attractive like and attract other people, all you
got to be a lot of his confidence.
I know some of you guys will be like that's cope if you're ugly,
bro, all relative. But one of the biggest things
you can, one of the biggest things you can do to improve
your chances. I'm not saying if you're a tool,
you're going to become a tan. I'm not saying that.
I'm saying relative to you, you're going to absolutely
improve your chances. If you're just more of a
confident, not cocky, not arrogant, not a jerk, but just
like it's one of the lessons of negotiations.
Because if you guys don't know, one of the main things I do and
why I've been gone from YouTube for so long, it's because I run
a business and a lot of what I'm involved in is the deal side.
And one lesson negotiations is that if you truly can walk away
from the deal and be fine, like, hey, doesn't have to happen.
If it's not on my terms, you will always have the upper hand.
It's the same thing here. If you go up to something,
you're like, hey, you know, I'll let me go on a date with you.
But you know, if you say it in a way or it's like, I don't care,
if it doesn't happen, you will be significantly more likely to
do it. So Ben was almost, he was doing
that right. But the problem is you can't do
one thing right and then also smell like a rodent crawled up
your butt and died. You can't do those two things at
the same time. Guys.
Like, come on now. So he's strutting in.
He's strutting. And he's like, uh huh.
Yeah, this is me. I'm Ben.
Yeah, I know. You see me.
I see you. Yeah.
And he goes up and he's like, puts his like, he's very like
cocky, like, puts his hand on the table.
And you can just see because Ava like didn't, didn't even
register that this kid exists. Because also remember the smell
is like floating behind him. So it took a second puts his
hand on the table and she looks up at him with this is pure look
of disgust. Ava's not the the hero in the
story either. Guys, come on now.
But I'm just telling it how it happened.
And he's like, so ladies. And then all of a sudden in
unison, they all like pull up their shirts.
They're like, Oh my God, Oh my God, what is that smell?
He's like, oh, you noticed I've been a pheromone maxing lately.
You like. And Ava just looks at him with
this like the biggest look of disgust and just hatred, bro.
Like it's crazy. I mean, she probably should have
been. You should always be nice to
someone else. You know, they might be going
through something. You never know that someone's
always treat people with kindness and respect.
Even when people come to you and they're not super respectful.
If you can just like be the bigger man, sometimes there's
situations where you got to hit back with disrespect.
I totally agree. But 9 * 99 out of 100 times,
you're the bigger person. You look cool and you win that
You win in most situations. So that's my recommendation.
But I'm just going to tell you what happened.
And Ava looks up at him and she's about to absolutely
destroy this kid with the next words that come out of her
mouth. And it's crazy.
Real quick. If you made it as far into the
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best way to support the channel is simply by watching the video
throughout basically the entire video.
I know it's not over yet. And there's a crazy, she's about
to own this kid. It's insane, but I just want to
say thank you to everyone who's been supporting the channel
recently. Prime Connor Pugs is coming back
in 2026. I had to take a little bit of a
little bit of time off for various reasons, but we're back.
We're the 2022-2023. I love seeing all the faces.
The new faces welcome. I'm so excited and it's also
exciting to see all the people who watched me a couple years
ago. If you want to support me
getting back into the algorithm. The second best thing you can do
besides watching this video if you're on Apple music, YouTube,
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this absolutely helps me out. Thank you guys so much once
again, bottom my heart so excited to be back.
And with that being said, Ava looks at this kid with this just
look of disgust and she's like like you smell terrible and
she's like holding her nose. He's like, you know, a little
bit of banter back and forth, all the looks, Max or told me
this would happen, you know, and you know, girls always say stuff
like that when they really mean the opposite, of course.
So Ava, I'm going to I'm going to bless you with a wonderful
opportunity. And he's like kind of like
shifting around, walking with like hand on his hip, kind of
swing his hips a little bit like not even like being he's not
even being confident. He's just being weird at this
point. He's like, so you, me, Friday
night movies, dinner, Lamborghinis, Rolls Royce,
Andrew Tate. He's just like everything he
sees on TikTok Skippy toilet. No, no, he's just like you, me,
movies, dinner. You know, maybe we'll hang out
afterwards this Friday. Thoughts.
I already know your answer, but and she's like stands up and
she's like, I would never. This is where like Andrew and
like will like jump back and they like look at each other.
You know that like that GIF of like Joe Rogan when he was
commentating on like the UFC fight and the GIF of him like
freaking out be like, Oh my God, he looks at his Co host.
Same reaction from Andrew will because she's like, I will never
ever go on a date with you at at at least like I will never go on
a date with you like especially someone who never showers in
this point she's shouting so like all these tables around
start looking over and Ben's like, OK, I'll take that as a
rain check. So maybe the week after she's
like no and Ben's like all right, you know, I'll hit you up
over messages I'll send you I'll send you a slide into your DMS
and Instagram. We can figure it out there if
you don't want to, like, if you don't want to do it in public.
She's like, no, no, no. And he's like, all right, I'll
see you later. Then he, like, walks out.
But you can totally tell that, like, Buddy was a little shaken
by this. Next day in class, Ben once
again sits down at Andrew's table, and he smells remarkably
better. And I'm not saying he smells
good, but I think he took a shower, and he's sitting there
and, yeah, sure enough, you know, and Andrew isn't going to
be a jerk and say anything. So Ben says, yeah, so I guess
Ava's dating someone. She was like, oh, my God.
Like you're so handsome and sexy, but like dude, I'm dating
someone right now. I'm so sorry.
Like I'm probably break up with him soon.
I'd love to go on some dates with you and all that kind of
stuff, but like I just can't do it right now.
Like I can't cheat on anyone. You have to understand I have my
morals. And I was so like, Oh my God, I
totally get it. Like so embarrassing of me.
I didn't know you have a boyfriend.
I respect broke code. Like totally get it.
Maybe in another life, another universe, maybe in a little bit
of time we can go to date, but just know it's an open
invitation girl. And Andrew's the staring at him
like buddy, if only you knew I was sitting one foot away from
you, saw the whole thing go down and know that that is 100% cap
bro, are you serious?