Sometimes, Gen Z kids think too much of themselves, and
today we have a story of a cringy kid who is
convinced he is a quote unquote Riz God, and
spoiler, he has negative game. Put
your cringe goggles on and let's just jump right into
it. So we're going to call the
subscriber who submitted this story Andrew. So
anyways, there is a kid in Andrew's class who one day
started to sat down at Andrew's table with his
friends, and Andrew didn't know this kid that well,
and we're just going to call him the Gen Z kid or
the cringy kid. We're going to call actually no,
we're going to call him the Riz God, but I'm going
to call him that ironically, because the kid
sits down and he basically is like, you know, like
what's good boys, what's up, and like Andrew doesn't
really know this kid, and you know, Andrew's friend
doesn't really know this kid, so they kind of look
at him, they're like what's good dude. He's
like, like boys, I don't think you understand, but
I've been spending the last couple months studying the
art of being a Riz God, you don't understand, I am
legitimately I can pick up like any woman ever, I'm
willing to bet the whole farm on it bro. And
obviously Andrew kind of looks at his friends
because like, no disrespect, but like this kid
definitely did not appear to be, I don't know,
someone who could legitimately pick up anyone
and that's not just necessarily an appearance
jab. I mean, he wasn't freaking
the caprio or anything like that, but he also he also
just like the way he held himself the way he dressed.
The aromas coming from him like
huge combination of stuff that just really didn't
imply him to be a quote unquote Riz God as he was
self proclaiming to be. So Andrew and his friends were
seeing a pretty good betting opportunity and
they're like, all right, they're like, OK, man,
like, sure, we'll take the bet. And
the kid is like, you guys show just messed up right
there because you're about to lose some money. Because
I'm actually really I'm a Riz God. And
they're like, OK, dude, like, sure, what's the
terms and conditions of the bet? They
say and the kids like, I will bet you guys. Twenty
dollars that by the end of the week, I will be able
to go on a date with anyone that you choose. So
first of all, Andrew and his friends were like, OK,
because remember, this was the eighth grade, 20 bucks
is a pretty huge deal. And like 20 bucks is 20 bucks.
Don't get me wrong. But
I know, especially like when I was a kid and
there's like literally no way for me to make money,
even like a dollar. I was like, dang, dude, I
don't know if I can spend a dollar on that. So
anyways, they were pretty down because they were like
95 percent sure that they're going to win this
bet. So they said, OK, I'm sure,
dude, yeah, we'll bet that. And
you have to ask out and they're looking around the
lunchroom, right? And they look over the popular
girls table. And there's like the pretty
popular, like they're all pretty, they're all popular,
whatever, but like the prettiest, most popular girl
in their grade. We're going to call her Caroline.
They say, oh, you have to ask
Caroline. And they kind of looked at the
kid thinking that he would kind of have a either a
little bit of a nervous or a shocked expression on his
face, because this was definitely quite an ask.
But he looked at them with
pure confidence, laughed and was like, hey, you guys
really think that's going to stop me? You
don't understand because I am actually a where's God.
Fine, we'll make the bet then.
So basically what they agreed
was that they found some like random guy. We're
going to call Ben that they were both like
friendly with and they were both going to give Ben
$20, like give like give Ben $20 each and basically
say, hey, these are the rules of like the game or
whatever. This is like the bet we're
making just to make sure that the kid doesn't like
not pull her, which he definitely won't. And
it's like, guys, I'm not giving you the $20 or
something like that. Because like, I don't know, this
kid might do that. So basically Ben was like the
guy in between making sure that the money was
collected and given out to the right person. So
anyways, the spoil, not the spoil kid, the Riz got
himself explains that he has a guaranteed three step
process that will have 100 % success. And
he sits down at the lunch table and he explains it
to Andrew and his friends. He
says, there's three steps to asking out a girl.
Number one, you must show her
your strength. You must show her that you are
strong and powerful so that she knows that you can
protect her from the wolves. And
Andrew's like, okay. Number two, step two, you must
show off your wealth. You must show that you have a
lot of money so that you can support her and you
can have, you can buy whatever miniature dog she
wants to buy. And Andrew's like, uh, okay,
bro. He's like, step three, and also
the final step. You need to show that you are
an alpha Riz God. And to do that, you must show
your dominance when asking her out. Andrew's
like, okay. Lol. Basically ever, the more
this kid spoke, the more Andrew and his friends
realized they just secured the most guaranteed $20 of
their entire life. Like sure, maybe you work a job
and someone says they're going to give you $20, but
you're actually more likely to get $20 betting that
this kid is not going to be able to pick up any
girl ever than getting $20 in a legally binding
contract from your employer. It
is just that guaranteed at this point. So
Andrew and his friends are like, okay, man, well, you
got a week to do it. So, uh, yeah. So
anyways, the kid decides to execute stage one. So
the next day, which is show off his strength,
right? So the next day they're
walking, Andrew is like, happens to see this. He's
walking with his friends and he sees the Caroline
is at the end of the hallway talking with their
friends by their locker. He also sees that the Riz God
himself, the kid, right, is, is walking with his
backpack, but he's walking, walking kind of weird. So
that's when he takes out his backpack and he jumps
his backpack out. Right. And there's only one thing
in his backpack. The one thing in his backpack
is a two and a half pound dumbbell. So
I don't know the conversion for, uh, the metric folks
that watch this, right? But,
uh, two and a half pounds is probably the lowest
dumb, the, the lightest possible dumbbell that you
can find. So just think of on your
rack, the lightest, lightest, lightest, lightest,
possible dumbbell. Like it might be even so light
that some gyms don't even carry them. Right.
So that falls out of the kid's bag and the kid
makes a big scene saying, Oh no. This
really heavy weight just fell out of my backpack.
It would be really crazy if I
had enough strength to pick it up. And,
uh, cause he was yelling so loud. Yeah.
Caroline and her friends looked over cause they were
like, let's just dweeb yelling about bro. Like
what's, so they look over and this kid reaches down
and he's like, yeah. And you like picks it up and
he's like making eye contact with Caroline the
whole time. She's like, uh, okay, dude. Like,
all right. And he's like, oh wow. That
was so easy for me. Even though that weight was so
heavy, I doubt anyone else could pick it up. And
he puts in his backpack and he walks away, but he
walks away from Caroline towards Andrew and he stops
by Andrew and he's like, step one, complete Andrew,
one more step towards your failure. And
for me, I can already think of all the ways that
I'm going to be spending your hard earned $20. And
Andrew's like, all right, dude. Like,
cool. Um, what? He
said, yes, I showed up the first of three tenants to
securing the any lady you want first show off your
strength. And I did. She
saw me pick up that really heavy weight. And
Andrew's like, dude, no disrespect, but that was
two and a half pounds. Like,
I don't know if that convinced her. And
he's like, silence. You will see that what I'm
doing is a very carefully stratized step by step
operation. You will see Andrew. And
he liked storms off. Andrew turns to his friend. He's
like, dude, I almost feel bad taking $20 from this
kid. Cause at this point, this isn't
even a bet. This is just saying, Hey man,
I'm going to take $20 from you. That's
just how secure it Andrew felt at this point. Right.
So, uh, yeah, stage two of the kids plan to become
the most insane risgata planet earth. Remember
step two is to show off his wealth. So
here's the thing. The Riz God has already, uh,
given up his $20 to the person, the middle man
who's holding the bet. So he needs to find another
way to show off his immense wealth. Right.
So the kid isn't really that creative. So
he decides to do the basically the exact same
thing he did for the dumbbell, but with something
that you'll see in just a second. This
was pretty funny. Did. So anyways, same situation
the next day, I think Caroline just had a class
around that time and she also just happened to
convene with her friends at that time. And
I think Andrew just happened to be walking down
there at the same time as well. Cause
he had a class for some reason, the exact same
setup as the day before happened. Caroline
was at the end of the hallway with her friends.
Andrew was walking with one of
his friends and the Riz God himself was walking in
with another backpack. And this time his backpack was
completely flat. It looked as if it was
entirely empty. This was not the case. So
once again, the kid is like, oops. And
like intentionally spills his backpack onto the
ground for a second time. And
once again, he's being super like obvious how loud
he's being and like very over dramatic to make sure
he gets the attention of Caroline and Caroline looks
over. And once again, she's just
looking at him like, what, dude? Like
what's, what's going on? And
out of his backpack, right? He
throws his backpack on the ground and out of his
backpack floats two single one dollar bills. And
look, you can, you can buy some stuff with a dollar,
right? A dollar's not that bad, but
it also doesn't. If you have two dollars,
right? No one's going to walk by and
be like, man, that guy must be in the top 0
.0000001 % of income earners. That
guy must rival Elon Musk for the amount of wealth
and power he has. He has two one dollar bills.
What? Huh? Okay,
look, but the spoil, not a spoil kit, but the kid,
the Riz got himself. He must have been like low on
cash because he already put his like only 20 dollar
bill to the bet. And so he had two dollar bills
and they kind of floated out very like, you know
how like when you drop a piece of paper or like a
tissue, it kind of floats like downwards, it doesn't
drop immediately. So like the two like one
dollar bills are kind of just floating in the air.
And the kids like, oh my God,
all my great wealth is all over the place right now.
Guys, don't steal from me. You
know, I'm already super rich and it wouldn't
matter. But yeah. And
like people are just like staring at him because he's
saying this really loud. He's
like, oh no, look at all this money that's coming
out of my backpack. Oh my God. And
like Caroline looks at it. She's
like, okay. Like, okay. Like,
dude, okay. Whatever. He's like, oh my God. Wow.
So much money is pouring out of my backpack right
now. It's actually kind of crazy
right now. It's like, dude, that's a lot
of money coming out. So two, look, no disrespect to
two dollars, bro. Like I knew that in eighth
grade, if like I had two dollars one pocket, I'd
feel kind of like a baller. But
also I feel like I'd understand that flexing two
one dollar bills super hard is not going to necessarily
get the point across that I will. Oh
my God, I can buy. Oh, girlfriend, I can buy you
anything because as long as it's under two dollars and
you don't ask for anything else after that, then I
can buy other other than that I can buy you
anything. No, no, no, no. Okay.
So Caroline sees this. She's
like, okay. And the kid like puts the two
dollar bills back into his backpack. But
then he pretends to trip again. So
the two dollar bills, once again, not a two dollar
bill. That's kind of sick. The
two one dollar bills, once again, fly out of his
backpack. Bro is trying to show it off
again. He's trying to rinse and repeat
the strategy, but it didn't work the first time. So
once again, he's like, oh no, all the money's coming
out of my backpack again. And
at this point, Caroline and her friends just walk away
because they're like, this is weird. And
this time he like quickly grabs it up because he
sees that Caroline isn't seeing it anymore. And
once again, the risk out himself starts to walk
towards the, uh, walk towards the subscriber,
Andrew. And it's like, so you must be
twumbling in your boots right now. And
Andrew's like, dude, what are you saying? Like
what? And the race guys like, oh,
because I have successfully completed two of the three
tenants, the guin -tie that any lady will fall in love
with me. And Andrew's like, yeah, dude,
I'm trembling in my boots. Yeah.
Oh yeah. Yeah, man. No,
you're actually spot on with that. I'm,
I'm really concerned. Uh, also, if you made it as
far into the video, comment dollar down below. It's
not going to be Gen Z down below. You
guys start guessing the secret word too soon. And
if you want to listen on Spotify, uh, the links in
the pin comment. And if you're listening on
Spotify, make sure to rate the podcast, five stars.
Helps me out in the algorithm on
there. So yeah, anyways, it is
finally time for the final tenant of getting any woman
to fall in love with you, 100 % accuracy, never not a
scam, no joke, bro. The final tenant, it is finally
time. And the Riz got himself is
about to perform. So the next day in lunch, he
doesn't take the week to ask this girl out,
Caroline. He only takes three days
because one day for each tenant, right? He
is so confident that he is going to succeed, that he
just doesn't even wait a week. He
doesn't give himself a week to talk to her. He
is knows for a fact that these three tenants will
guarantee that he will achieve the woman of his
dreams, obviously, obviously. So
anyways, the next day after the whole $2 incident,
we'll call it lunchtime. Andrew's
sitting with his friends. Caroline
is sitting with her friends and Andrew is sitting close
enough to Caroline that he could hear conversations a
little bit. And if you really try, he
could hear exactly what they're saying. He
doesn't because like who cares, bro. They're
probably just talking about stuff like whatever.
Andrew's is talking with his
friends. He has no idea that the Riz
God himself is about to ask Caroline out in his
final third tenant, which remember the final tenant
is to prove that you are an alpha Riz God master,
right? So whatever the hell that
means, I know it's not going to be good. That's
all I know. I don't know that means, but
what I do know is strap in buckle, buckle up kids.
This is going to be bad. And
also take out your pen and paper and start to jot
down notes. Here are the notes. Do
not do what this kid does. Okay.
That's all you need to take notes on. So
let's get into it. So Andrew's sitting with his
friends and he sees that the Riz God himself has
entered the lunch room and the Riz God himself is
entering the lunch room. And
he must have learned that he must have learned about
the peacock. The bird, right? And
basically the male peacock gets all dressed up and
whatever gets all phant not dressed up. Okay.
The male peacock is very colorful and fancy to
attract like the female peacock. So
he must have been like, Oh, well, I must do the
same thing. So bro literally comes in tie
dye shirt, tie dye shorts, and somehow got his hands
on tie dye shoes. He must have like, I don't
know, bro must have gone to like Riz class from a
fricking, uh, I'm actually brain dead. What
I call that call peacock, dude. I'm
so stupid at live live reaction of my brain
failing. He must have gone to Riz
classes from a fricking peacock, bro. He
came in all like tie dye. Are
you serious right now? Like,
okay. A tie dye shirt can work, I
guess, but don't come in a tie dye shirt shoes socks
underwear, eyeliner, just bro. What's
anyway? So he comes in and he walks
super like weird up to her. Like
he must have seen some like issues how alpha males
walk. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,
like something really stupid like that. So
he's like walking up, swinging his arms all
strange and is like full tie dye outfit and Andrew's
mouth drops. Cause he's like, I knew that 20
bucks were secured, but oh my God. Anyway,
so he goes up and he looks at Caroline. He's
like, Caroline, you will go on a date with me right
now. Whole lunch room goes silent.
She's like looking at him.
Shocked. Too stunned to move or say
anything. And Andrew is like, wait, did
he just demand that she go on a what? Dude,
just demanded that she goes on a date with him. Are
you serious right now, bro? What?
And the kids like, yeah, you heard me, right,
Caroline? You have no choice in this.
You are going on a date with
me this weekend. And she's like, uh, no. And
the kids like, what? Bro's like, but I did the three
tenants. What happened? Okay.
Um, I'm actually going to blow up my voice. My
friends, uh, he's, he's at this point, the Riz God
himself is shocked because he's in his head. He's
probably thinking, okay, um, well, I did tenant one. I
showed off my incredible strength. I
did 10 or two. I showed off my immense
wealth and I did 10 at three by showing my offer
of intentioness by asking her out and saying that
she has to go out. What happened? What,
what went wrong? What, I did forget one of the
tenants. One, no, two, no, three. Yeah.
So basically he's standing there. Everyone's
looking at him. Caroline's looking at him. Andrew's
looking at him. They're all looking at each other.
I'm going, what's going on
right now? Yeah. So, uh, sure enough, um,
after saying no, the kids like, that's very funny.
Caroline. I knew you were funny and
smart and pretty too. So no, seriously, seriously.
Now we got on a date this
weekend. I mean, you have no choice
in it. I'm alpha, so I'm not going to
let you have a choice. Caroline's
like, what? No, like, sorry, no disrespect,
but no, he's like, what? Okay.
Okay. I, oh, oh, I get it. I
get it. I get it. You
don't want everyone to know you're going on a date
with me because they be so jealous. Okay.
And she's like, no, no, I'm not going on a date
with you. I'm so sorry. Like,
no, that's not happening. And
the kids like, I see, like the most sad walk back and
he walks by, uh, what's Andrew's table and the guy,
Ben, who's holding onto the $20, he gives both $20 to
Andrew and Andrew turns his friends and they shake
their heads. They're like, no, Andrew goes up
to the kid, gives them this $20 back and the Riz
got his like, but, but you wanted $20. I
mean, I don't know what I'm doing, man. I'm
sorry. And you're like, bro, it's
good. Like, don't worry about it. Like
we shouldn't have made you do that. Like
that was kind of messed up. And
you said, look, I have some friends that, you
know, or, you know, they have girlfriends, they've
done pretty successful. If you really want to know
what it takes, we'll help you out, man. And,
you know, they, uh, kind of, they don't really like
become best friends with the quote unquote Riz God
anymore. Um, but he actually does take
them up in the offer and like, they give them a
little bit of advice, like bro to bro advice. Like
first of all, invest in deodorant, man. We
will pay you to invest in deodorant. Right.
And the other thing is like, look, you got to
talk to women. He's like, what? You
got to talk to women, man. No
way. Yeah. Okay. But
anyways, eventually the kid doesn't become the Riz God,
but he becomes less insane, which.