Hello and welcome to the Let It Flow podcast, hosted by your
spiritual besties Alexis and Carly.
We're just two humans figuring things out, and we're here to
share this community with you. As an outlet for self discovery
and spiritual growth, this podcast is designed to open your
mind with conversations that encourage you to ask bigger
questions about mindset, spirituality, personal growth,
and everything in between. We're passionate about gaining
different perspectives on what the universe has to offer, and
the one thing we found to be 100% true is that life is meant
to flow. We're not here to tell you how
to live your life, but to provide you with the tools and
knowledge you need to create an experience that feels uniquely
you. TuneIn every week to awaken your
potential and deepen your evolution.
Whether you're all in on your personal growth journey or just
starting out, Let's flow Together.
Welcome back to another riveting episode of the Let It Flow
podcast, where Carly and I riff on whatever topic we decide is
important that day and see where it goes.
No, actually, we kind of prepped this one.
This is new for us. We haven't.
Literally like 10 minutes ago, yes.
Not super far in advance, but we did prep and I have things
written down in a notebook. So this is different because we
really wanted to focus on something that we've been
reflecting on recently. But signs that you've outgrown,
that you're outgrowing where you're currently at slash signs
that you've grown because it can go either way.
I feel like nobody's ever on one side or the other.
It's always in flux. It's always in progress and.
So like your perspective that? I think sometimes it's more more
beneficial to look at it from the respect perspective of, oh,
I've grown in these ways. And then sometimes to kind of
push the next step, I think it's useful to be like, look at your
situation and be like, OK, the fact of the matter is this isn't
serving me as as much as it did at one time.
And that's OK. But like, I've outgrown this and
now I use the things that I have grown with and become and
learned and all of that to, like go to the.
Next step of your life, I guess. Yeah.
One of the first things that came up for us and making this
list was that like, you want to spend your time differently
because you can be really happy in a space and just feel
abundant and happy and you're like, yeah, this is it.
And then all of a sudden it becomes repetitive and you
almost get bored. This is all speaking from my
personal experience, but I got, I got bored and it's like, OK,
what's next? And also the things that I was
doing suddenly weren't quite as fun anymore.
Like for example, going out to the bars three days a week.
Like maybe that served me in College in some messed up way
that, I don't know. I learned a lot of lessons
there, but. It was a passageway.
It was a passageway that got me to somewhere, but that just
didn't serve me anymore. I was like, so sick of feeling
hung over and like the next few days afterwards, just feeling
like I didn't go to the gym, like I was slacking on my goals
because of that. It's like that pattern wasn't
serving me anymore and I wanted to spend my time differently.
But then it's like, OK, well, what do I do at that time?
Like, how do I want to spend my time?
And it really leads you to reflect in that way.
Yeah, I think because it's possible to move forward just
naturally, you know, without thinking too much, but.
Sometimes those cyclical patterns that we have created
for ourselves are really strong. And this includes like habitual
things like actions outside of yourself or things that you're
doing during the day. Or like a big theme for me right
now, which I might get into a little bit further in this
episode, is just like even mental habits, mental cycles,
thoughts that you keep repeating.
And so, to really be clear, helps, I think, with the
motivation to. Like, yeah, the clarity to help
yourself move out of them, Yeah. And wanting to spend your time
differently. A lot of times that has to do
with the cycles and the patterns, like Harley said.
And seeing the patterns and also seeing other people's and
realizing that you don't have to be doing what they're doing.
But that can be challenging, especially if it's if you're in
a friend group that spends time a certain way, and then suddenly
you don't really want to do those things anymore, but you
want to hang out with them and they're perfectly fine spending
their time that way. That can cause definitely some
internal or maybe external conflict.
Yeah. I think it's important to
realize that in this line of personal growth and evolution, I
think this is definitely sometimes where it's natural to
feel very lonely and. For a while, I think both of us
could say that we've kind of fought that, you know, no one
likes to feel lonely. Like it's not a pleasant thing
to feel. But I really think it's our
natural inclination to go and figure out, like, who the hell
we are and like what we do want. And it's just when things become
a distraction and you realize that you're doing the same
things you were doing. This is something I had
experienced in college like. But a few times I did go out, a
couple of them. With Alexis, I realized that I
was surrounded by people, but I felt even more lonely than when
I was sitting at home alone. And just admitting that to
ourselves is really important. Yeah, the times that I've spent
alone, particularly traveling. I was traveling alone, talked
about that a lot, some big part of my life.
But I never really felt lonely until I got really in my head
about, like, what am I doing? This doesn't even make sense.
Like people are confused at like how I'm wasting all this time
and I'm not using this time in my life to make money or build
my career. And then I would feel really
lonely because it was that nobody understands me mindset
that made me feel lonely. But in the like reality I was
having, the time of my life, I was doing exactly what I felt
like I should be. I should be doing or like that I
wanted to do. And there were people around me
all the time. I was meeting new people every
day and it was fulfilling me. But it was whatever my mind got
in there that it really made me feel lonely to think of doing
things differently just because when we don't have people to
relate to, sometimes it's like, oh, there's like no one to talk
to. And it can feel isolating.
But there's always somebody like, it's really your mind
blocking out and limiting and like you pushing people away.
Usually because to reinforce that idea that you're lonely and
that you're alone. Because if you open up like your
peripherals and like, really pay attention to the people around
you, you do have that support. You just need to not push it
away to reinforce that idea that you don't.
Absolutely. And then to also remember that
always, always, always our biggest support.
This is such a cliche thing to say, but it's so true.
It's always our own self. Like nobody will ever know you
as well as you know yourself. Even if, like sometimes, there's
times where I literally am still like.
Who? Who the rickety frack am I?
Like what am I even doing here? Like what's going on?
But I still when I take a moment and just really sit with myself,
I realized that yeah, I'm, I'm my best friend and all of that
stuff first before anybody else because nobody has access to my
inner being, you know, Nobody does.
So to, like, really get to know that part of ourselves that we
all have within us and then to not, yeah, like Alexis said, not
be afraid to. Share what's valuable and true
to yourself with others, even if it's just like little feelers,
you know, because it's also not worth it to, like, go and share
yourself with people who aren't just who are going to look at
you like you're crazy. Because then that reinforces
this idea that like, Oh yeah, I'm crazy, I'm alone, I'm all of
this. But just like little feelers
like, oh, I'm interested in human design, They're like, oh,
what's that? Or or they're like, oh cool.
OK, that's going to be very informative with like what you
can talk about with that person. This leads perfectly into the
next one that we were going to share is that you stop asking
for people's opinions quite as much or you don't feel either.
OK, if you're outgrowing something, you maybe stop
asking. Or if you've grown, you just
don't feel the need to ask anymore.
To make decisions like it's one thing to ask and share your
ideas and and thoughts with somebody.
To mastermind to see maybe. Where like you're not seeing
something and you're gaining information and research and
insight versus asking for the sake of someone else to validate
what you're doing and someone else to push you over the edge.
I think that even just our own relationship, we've seen that.
Go from, like, us both kind of leaning on each other and asking
for like, what do you think about this?
Like, oh, is this OK? Can you help me with this?
And it's funny because we still say the same things to each
other. Like, you still have me look at
some of the things you're creating for your own business.
And I'll like tell you my thoughts, but it feels so
different. It's.
Like yes, exactly like it's like oh tell me your thoughts have
how I can improve, not like I need you to help me.
Do this or create this. It's it's really, yeah, it's
really empowering, I think, and really fun.
I know I've had thought about that, but it's so true.
Yeah, I feel like we come to each other more So on.
I have this idea and I'm doing it like I've already committed
to it. Like I don't need you to tell me
to do it. I'm doing it.
And I just would like outside eyes to say like, like, it's
good for research wise. When I'm writing things, I want
someone else to read it and see, does this make sense from a
beginner's mindset or am I writing it at too high of a
level? That's something that, like you
can't necessarily see yourself. So it's very different when you
come into conversations asking opinions from a research mind
and like you make the decision within yourself versus, yeah,
asking. People, or even like I know
sometimes. I'll send you a voice note.
Or, like, talk to you about like, something that's relevant
for me that maybe I'm struggling with internally, but I've never
like, it's become not this question of like, what should I
do, But it's more of like, I sent you a voice message just a
few days ago, I think. And I was like, this is kind of
like a personal diary entry. But, like, I'm imagining talking
to you about it. And by the end of that message,
it was like, oh, everything's clear.
I was about to literally, like not even send it because I was
like, oh, OK. I'm pretty sure that I just
hearted the message to. I don't think I even responded
to it. I was like, I was here, I
listened to it and I love the life update, but you got this.
You figured it out exactly. Yeah.
So we anybody listening to this knows this now about us.
But we don't talk like regular people.
We don't have conversation. Not regular.
I don't want to say that most people do not have conversations
the way that we have conversations.
And that just has become clearer and clearer to me as I make new
friends, or as I'm in different friend groups or meeting new
people through my job and whatever.
So many people stay on surface level and then you could know
somebody for years and really find out that you don't actually
know much about them, like don't even know if they have siblings
or don't even know actually the name of their hometown.
And you're like, wait, even that is small talk and you don't even
know that much about them. Now just imagine asking like
what do they actually want out of life or what is the intention
behind the career that they're building.
So craving deeper conversations versus the small talk and the
gossip and that's just increased over time.
I made the intentional choice a while back to try to limit the
the amount that I engage with the gossip as in like me giving
my opinion on it. It's so hard to do because
that's literally pop culture and media is all gossip about other
people like. The drama of life, other
people's lives. Yeah, and I think.
I can definitely look back at my stuff and even like high school
or like through college, getting the deets about like people that
I graduated with or like family members and stuff.
And I remember feeling like excited at times.
You know, like it's so sometimes, you know you get
caught up at it and it's like, Oh my God, did you this is not
say. This is not to say that we do
not gossip like. We definitely do.
It comes about, but you realize how many of your relationships
like Carly will share her insight on this, but how many
relationships are based solely on gossip?
Like this person comes over and you realize that you spent the
whole couple hours hanging out with this friend and didn't even
talk about her or you or what you want.
And it was all gossip about other friends or celebrities or
things that just don't have any impact on your life.
Yeah, or like a big one with some people in my life, that.
And now it's funny, I don't know when this will come out with
them in regards to like the episode we just recorded with my
mom. But it kind of has to do with
this. Like, you know, we can hold this
space and love for people in our lives that we don't want to
like, excommunicate from. You know, it's like there's
still a big part and you know you love them and you can just
hold that space for them, even if they're still like in the
same. What we view from our
perspective, the same cycle or the same thing, it eventually
like, you know, everything is always growing all the time.
And as allowing that space and time allows for it to be more
natural and without as much like force and like frustration.
But like with some of my even family members, even just a few
years ago or like, or friends or, you know, whatever, I
started to realize how sometimes it can be.
People are having the same discussion over and over again.
Sometimes it's gossip, but like a big thing with I've seen not
only my family but other people, if they have a time in their
life where, you know, they really felt they loved it and
and it's like, you know, the best time of my life was this
time And like they talk about the same things over and over
and over again, that's obviously feeding something.
They're getting something out of it still.
Or so they they think. And when you start to realize
that that can be really hard to engage with.
And and I had a really hard time.
Even sometimes they still do, like connecting with knowing how
to meet another person when they're still just like that's
their world and that's what's important to them.
So that's where, like a sign of growth that like you, you
struggle. Maybe it's not pleasant to
experience that, but you you struggle connecting in the same
ways that you did. And the biggest thing that I've
learned is because we're aware of that.
Like if you're aware of that in a situation right now in your
life, you and you alone, I and myself alone have the
responsibility to, if I desire that to be.
Changed I have to only I can only change myself and how I
interact with that. So the kind of what Alexis was
saying you know we we need to like you know maybe not not
engage quite as much in that conversation or maybe bring up
something else and and let them be them.
You know allow them to live in in their world like that.
But this is kind of going back around to one of the points we
made earlier. You don't have to play that role
in their life anymore. And you just like taking
yourself out of that role of who who you were playing in their
own play. Because, you know, our entire
life is each our own play, and we're the main character in it,
and we assign roles to people in our lives.
The moment that someone takes themselves out of that role,
even if it's like a fight for a while, eventually it has to give
and things evolve and it opens up space for either someone else
to take that same role in their life or for a little bit of
like, oh. Wow.
OK, This is a new perspective. Or this is a new way of seeing
things or or doing things. And yeah, it just takes
sometimes time. So that was I'm tangent.
It doesn't mean that you have to push those people away.
I think that's something really important to mention because
when you feel like you're growing and you're outgrowing
other people, sometimes there can be this attitude of I'm
better than them or I'm I've just outgrown that or I'm just
not in that space anymore. And like that also doesn't make
them feel good. You know, like speaking from in
the mindset of a friend group per se that still likes to go
out on the weekends and wants to go to the bars and the clubs and
whatever. This is just, this is just me,
like describing a potential situation.
But then you're feeling maybe that you don't want to go do
that anymore. And you used to be the friend
that they could rely on to text and like, want to go out and
party, and suddenly you're not meeting their expectations of
who they think you are. You don't have to meet those
expectations, but you also don't have to cut out those friends
either. Like, you can transition to it.
Maybe you'll go out for dinner with them and then they'll go to
the bar If you don't want to go, or you just make different plans
with these people, or even even if you were to keep everything
the same, just know and be more intentional at the time that
you're spending with them. Like, say you do have those
friends that want to go out to the bar.
Maybe you plan one Saturday a month.
You're going out with them and you know you're going to have a
great time. You're going to get that fill
with those people and you intentionally spend that time
with them instead of just passively making that a part of
your life. Same with maybe a friend that
gossips and loves like social media and celebrities and that
you don't. You don't get past the surface
level with this person. Maybe you still love them and
you want to hang out with them, and you just know that when they
come over, that's the conversation we're going to
have. And maybe you ask a few deeper
questions to try to facilitate that deeper conversation, but
you don't have to keep engaging in the same way.
You can kind of ease them into your change as well.
And then also there's always that alternative of like.
Okay. You just don't connect in the
same ways that you once did. And like then that opens for a
really natural and loving separation.
I guess I feel like there's a better word to use for that.
But I feel like the moment that you were, you would start that
we would start to force, you know that family member or we
both experienced this or that friend or or that person into.
Behaving, thinking, believing like you do.
That's what creates the riff and that's what creates like,
bridges being burnt and like, not even being able to have a
civilized conversation without a fight brewing or without words
being said that just like weren't even met in the 1st
place. Just by, like, releasing this
idea that, like, people need to live like you are or do the
things that you do, It's just like, yeah, opens up for this
natural flow which could be. Kind of them transitioning in a
way that you connect, you guys connect even at a deeper level
or just moving on and going into the sea of life.
Exactly, Exactly. People constantly come and go
from your life, and I think that's hard to remember when
you're so in it. And a lot of times I see this
happen with relationships and from personal experience.
You think I've invested X amount of time with this person and in
this relationship and letting it go is failing in some way, even
though it's just the end of a cycle and maybe it's come to
completion and that's totally okay and it's more fair to you
and the other person. To maybe let go of that, if
you're going in different directions and like touch base
in the future and if they're meant to come back into your
life, they will and just truly believe that you don't need to
force it and that's okay. Yeah.
Like even Alexis and I, I mean, I don't see this happening, but
there's always a potentiality that years down the road, who
knows what will happen. And I think, Oh my God, this is
this. I feel like this conversation is
heavily influenced by the one we just had with my mom.
But we talked about how it's so important to keep the end in
mind. Like that is always a
potentiality, like the end of things is always there.
And that allows us to, yeah, like appreciate the time that we
do have even more. Another one we came up with was
not explaining yourself. So this also kind of goes with
the not feeling the need to ask opinions quite as much, but also
not. Feeling the need to explain the
decisions that you're making for quite some time, especially when
I decided to travel and people were questioning this my safety
and like projecting their fears onto me, I felt like I had to
explain myself and with moving to back to Minneapolis and the
job I'm getting, I. I kept explaining to people,
well, I'm doing this because I feel like this is the right
decision for this reason and it's going to lead to this.
And you know, this is a potential career and I can do
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it's like they literally
just asked how are you? And you're suddenly saying what
you're doing and they're really explaining it because you don't
feel solid in the decision and yourself.
And then that comes with asking the opinions to like does this
the right thing? Like does this seems like
responsible but. When you've grown into the place
that you've decided to go and into even the titles, we've
talked about this whether you're an influencer, A podcaster, a
doctor, a teacher, whatever you decide to be, you don't have to
subscribe to labels. But when you're talking to
somebody and you can fully step into, yeah, I'm a podcaster and
whatever, I just threw my. I just threw my highlighter
across the room. I'm talking with my hands.
Oh my God. But you don't feel that
resistance in your body anymore because you know that feeling.
And if you don't know that feeling, say something.
That's a lie and see how your body feels.
It's the craziest thing. Even lie by your age.
Like say I'm 15 years old or something like that.
Maybe you are 15, Say a different age, but like, say it.
Your body will be like, no, you're not.
Like you know when you're lying. Yeah.
So once that doesn't feel like a lie in your body anymore and you
you've really integrated where you're going and what you stand
for, you don't feel the need to explain yourself quite as much.
It's just like this is me. I think it's like Speaking of
like we we we've used the word role a couple of times in this,
like that role in the play or whatever.
When you feel like totally adept and comfortable at playing that
role, like you feel like it is like this balance of it being
like one with your own self. But also understanding that
like, we're always more than that role or that identity we're
taking on. And at that time it's like one
small aspect of like the abundance of our entire being.
But when we feel like comfortable with it, like yeah,
I am, I'm this coach person or I am Carly even even saying like I
am me. You know that it can be
uncomfortable for people. But it's like when you feel like
you are adept and capable and able to be that role even if,
you know, like, yeah, there's times I'm going to screw up.
There's times it's not going to all go perfectly.
Like that's the nature of life. But you're we're confident in
like the fact that we can handle that and that's always
fluctuating and growing as well. So there's never a period where
you're like, yes, I finally become the person that I meant
to be like. It just, it will continue to
grow from that point. This is a deeper, more
shadowworky one, but it's very very important and that's that
you're aware of your triggers and anytime you feel one,
question it and. Reflect back on it, like, oh,
that's an interesting feeling. Like what they just said made me
very angry. Like, what was that?
Because if you think about it, everybody responds to things
differently. Something that makes me angry
might not make Carly angry. She might be like, oh, what?
What's your problem with that? I don't like that statement
doesn't affect me at all, whereas it affects me deeply.
So there's some type of wounding inside that that just strikes
you and just paying attention to what it is the person.
Usually it's a person said or did or what they wore or how
they chose to present themselves online or how they choose to
live their life, The career somebody chose, like if
something triggers you or even triggers like that jealousy,
that envy doesn't have to be anger.
Reflecting on whoa, that's a strong emotion.
What's making me feel this way? What is it telling me?
Because it's all your body communicating with you and it's
worth reflecting on. Yeah, and I want to bring up
another thing with this, because I think this aspect, at least
for me, can be even sneakier. But where we have those like
triggers from a place of what we view as love, like I have a
couple people in my life who could be from my perspective
living a much healthier and just have a higher quality of life.
Clarity of whether they will choose that or not is upping the
air still. And for years I've, you know, I
like didn't even realize that this was a trigger because again
it's from this place of like you care for this person.
Like you know, you see how they could they could turn the life
around or they could really help themselves by just doing these
few things or really change change their perspective on
things. So it's out of love, but it is a
trigger like when you get passionate and like you start to
like throw your views and beliefs in their face.
It's kind of like that spiritual what's called activism.
It's like, I know this and I know it will help you.
You need to do it now. That is a definitely a type of
trigger, and it's a trigger that seems to come from like a place
of love. But it's again, we're
envisioning how we desire that person to be.
And I've realized for myself, I I have tried to appreciate more
the person that they are because everyone of us are living our
own lives. We're all here to experience
what we are experiencing, and only each and every one of us
can choose to to do something or not do something.
Yeah, that was. I feel this a specific trigger
that I reflected on or that I've come to terms with again in
that, like everybody is living their own life, you cannot
change them. Because I've wanted to and it's
it was years and years of me wanting to and trying to force
and but then like what was it is so it has to do with health for
me. I love health and Wellness and
fitness and same with like spiritual things.
Anything to make your life easier and like just be kind to
your body and there's so there's specific people in my life.
As Carly said, there's always like certain people that.
I really care for them and like love them with all my heart and
like want them to live a healthy and happy life.
And the way they choose to live is not necessarily what I would
recommend. And it's not their healthiest,
happiest life. And that's not me projecting.
It's like a doctor would agree. And like it's not the
healthiest, happiest thing that they could be doing for
themselves. But like, what is deeper under
there? Like why do I want them to be so
happy and healthy and it? Like deep to the core comes down
to like the way they're living is impacting probably their life
expectancy and I want them to be with me for a long time.
So it's like that fear of loss and that fear of, yeah, fear of
lot. Losing that person is like the
deeper core, heavy thing. It always comes back to that
like personal, like relationship like kind of that it is selfish
in a way. Oh yeah, but it's like a it's
like a sneakier version of selfishness, because it's like a
selfishness from like, you know, wanting the best, but really
you're wanting the best. We're wanting the best for
ourselves. Which second comes also,
hopefully the best for them. But it's like the question of
like, again, wrapping it around, Sorry if I interrupted you also
from your thought, but what's best for each and every one of
us does not look the same. And some people we're all here
for. I I believe we're all here for
specific life lessons to be learnt and how we learn those
things is anyone's guess, you know?
So just like fighting the reins a little bit and still be there
to support. Like with these people I'm
talking about, you know, they know I have the tools.
They know, like if if they ever want anything from me, like and
in that sense I am here with open arms.
But like with love, it's just OK.
You're free to do what you will. And just appreciate the time
that you have with them. Like, that's a message for me
personally with this one. It's just like enjoy the time
you have with them instead of every time you hang out with
this these people or you're around them, that you're trying
to change them and you're choosing to be frustrated with
how they're living and you're not really enjoying your time
with them, even though they're the people that you love the
most. That's usually the people that
you want to change. Which seems counterintuitive
because if you love them, you shouldn't want to change them
and it's just a whole learning curve.
But just enjoying the time and just again knowing same this is
like the same as hanging out with your friend that you know
you're probably going to have a gossipy conversation because
that's just who they are and like you love them and it is
what it is. But just knowing that when you
hang out with these people, like you're aware that how they're
living is not how you would want to live, and that's okay.
And you don't have to be triggered by it, and you can be
aware that it's there, but like, understand where that's coming
from. It just makes a world of
difference. And yeah, we could go on about
triggers forever, because they're in everything.
Anything that brings up a very powerful emotion in you is a
trigger in some way. Like, there's happy triggers
too. Yeah, I think that's another
thing with this word I like, almost don't even like to use it
because it's been so over. People say activated if you feel
activated by something, but sometimes that's confusing too.
Oh yeah, you know, like what does activated mean?
It's it's the same thing like having an emotion because
everything has its own, like little meaning, like words have
their own. I don't know, but you get what
we're saying hopefully. Yes, we've talked about a lot of
internal things, but there's a couple external ones that we
wrote down like. You've grown.
If you feel or you're outgrowing, depends.
You're outgrowing if you feel like your environment is not
serving you or you're maybe your home doesn't even feel like you
anymore. It feels like a different
chapter of you, and you're feeling like you want to get rid
of things or you've grown. If you have done that, like
you've purged things from your life that feel like, OK, we're
starting fresh, or you can just envision yourself in a new
space. And you just feel that antsy
feeling of like, this is not it anymore.
Yeah. So environment changes can be
big. I just remember like all the
time was growing up where I would rearrange my room and I
never really knew why. But now it makes sense.
Like it would how I wish I would have like marked on a calendar
or something like when I would because I bet it was quite
cyclical like everything here school I probably like read in
my room didn't even realize it. But I think also like moving
moving things around is another way to like move the energy.
And when we feeling like we've outgrown something it can feel
like I, I in my body will get this like a little bit heavy
feeling like like stagnant like kind of what Alexis was saying.
Just like antsiness for something to change and just
feeling a could feel a bit stuck.
And I think that's one of the simplest things to do, actually.
If you're experiencing this right now and you don't quite
know where to go yet, just start by like moving some furniture
around, redecorating a shelf, like cleaning up your desk and
like, you know, whatever it. And it's incredible how it just
is like, OK, wow, OK. I had to really fight my mind on
this little bit and to not feel. Like, is this superficial?
Is this is, is it even important for me to buy the poster that I
want on my wall? Or is it important for me to buy
the tshirt at the mall that I think is cute.
You know, because we were both in fashion school and learned so
much about fast fashion and the waist and that really, like, hit
me And like, I'm still concerned about it, but also.
To a point, I like internalized it for a while and was like, Oh
my gosh, I can't contribute to any of this.
But and it matters so much like our sense of sight is what we
rely on the most day-to-day. It's most people's main sense
when you think of things. So having the space that
reflects who you are or who you want to be.
That's a really easy way to like, start stepping there.
If you have a vision board or a mood board or like an idea of
the type of person you're going into, what type of space would
she live in? Because even if you don't have
the job yet, or you can't move yet or anything like that, you
always have control of your space and you can always donate.
You can thrift you can do it in your own way, but it's.
The It's the easiest thing to change to get you one step
closer to maybe that lifestyle that you want to be living.
Like, change what you're looking at every day, even if it's your
phone wallpaper. Yeah.
Oh my God, that is even. That's such a good thing to say
because our. I know we've said this many
times, probably before, but our outer world is a direct
reflection of our inner world. Like even things that are
seemingly out of your control, they are all a reflection of
your what's going on inside, because it's our perspective of
the world. So like anytime that something
is, you know, not feeling as good or like maybe somebody is
just like said something. Oh, great example of like, oh,
Italian. Sometimes I can talk to them or
I can witness something. And sometimes this very similar
thing I could take as being like, Oh my God, that person was
so rude. Like, what the heck?
They were so upset, like just stupid.
And then I could the next day be in a very similar interaction
and like not think anything of it.
But it's all based on like where my perspective is.
So like what you're seeing as needing to maybe what you're
seeing is not connecting with as much anymore.
That's like a sign that like you actually have the power to to if
it's in your surroundings, change it and you know shift it
up a bit or even like okay. What is this situation
reflecting within me, within me, emotionally or or spiritually,
that is desiring to evolve and grow and change and doing that
work within can often? I've experienced this many
times, and I'm kind of in this situation of experiencing it
right now. Can make that outer thing go a
little bit more smoothly, or like maybe change a bit faster?
Another thing with external changes has to do with like
watching and consuming different stuff too.
I know we've talked about this and I've noticed differences.
In myself because a while back I never really have been into like
the crime shows or crime podcasts or murder mystery is I
love like, but this is OKI will watch like mystical things.
I will watch Game of Thrones and like there's a lot of blood and
killing in that, but like made-up things I don't like.
The realistic crime things, because I would never have
traveled the country by myself if I had the fears that there
was someone lurking around every corner.
I mean, I took precautions of course, like I had my own things
to protect myself. But what you consume on the
regular affects you so much and I notice it in conversations.
I can tell if somebody listens to Crime Junkie religiously and
watches CSI in law and order, like you can tell when when
you're talking to somebody that consumes that stuff.
Because there's so much more paranoid and like the lens that
they're viewing the entire world with.
Yeah, it's crazy. You'll talk about traveling to a
different country and they're just like, yeah, but blah blah,
blah, blah, blah blah blah, and they'll spit out all these
things and you're like, just read this or it just all this
happened to this girl. Yeah, you watch a little bit too
much of the news or listen to too many horror stories, but
like watching what you consume and like outgrowing that or
you've. You feel more drawn to learning
about things, or, you know, listening to podcasts that teach
you about a topic that you're interested in, rather than
listening to Barstool Gossip Podcast.
Which, again, there's nothing wrong with that.
But it comes to time in everyone's life where again,
yeah, it's no longer spilling the cup as much as it once was.
Yeah, instead of the gossipy ones, I've started listening to
more of the interviews and. Like, I listened to call her
daddy religiously back in college, and that was way more
just like raunchy and gossip, whatever.
But now Alex has changed it into interviews with celebrities.
So, like, you get that dose of, you know, getting out of your
world and out of your mind because sometimes I just can't
absorb other people's ideas anymore.
It's like I go to work all day. And then I'm listening to music
and then I'm listening to spiritual podcasts or research
podcasts and it's just too much. My mind needs a break, but I
will listen to interviews with people.
So it's like you are learning from that person, but it's not
so like research heavy. So I guess that's kind of what I
go towards. I go toward, towards armchair
expert Jay Shetty, call her daddy once in a while.
Really depends on the person. I don't really listen to it much
anymore, but it's interview style now.
But yeah, so that's why I feel drawn too.
But that changed over the years. I used to watch horror movies.
I don't do that as much anymore. Oh, because it sticks in your
subconscious mind, like, once I learned about that and how your
mind holds on to things in that way.
And like, your mind doesn't know what's made-up and what's not.
So when you're watching a horror movie and you feel your emotions
spike and like. Those that's even like chemical
levels in your body, spiking from the anxiety and feeling
like you need to run your body is experiencing that in real
life as if you are there. And that's not very healthy, no?
So even like, I know for me one of the things that I have
noticed change is just another example.
Like I used to, I was telling Alexis, I used to love, love
Marvel. Like my dream was to design
costumes for a Marvel movie one day.
And I just loved that. And then I loved also like the
more classical, like drama, love story movies.
And when I really noticed about a year ago, I was watching a
movie and I was like, OK, so it's fine and all, but like,
it's the same thing that's being created for literally decades.
Like, can we think of something new?
And that was. Like a villain.
Yeah, it's just like feeling that speeding, this thing that
it was bringing me so much joy. Like there's part of me that
knew obviously that like, Oh yeah, this was a very similar
story. But the moment that it's like
the light bulb comes on and it's like, do I really need to watch
another one of these things or am I like, what am I what am I
focusing on? What?
What am I putting my energy towards?
Like because time is precious. Like we experience it for a
reason. And in that time is how we we
spend our energy and energy is even more precious.
And once we start to see that, then we start to realize too,
like how powerful we are to command, how we are spending our
time and our energy here. And it's like, whoa.
The last one then that we wanted to focus on and then we can wrap
this up, But you have grown, if you look back on past versions
of yourself with love instead of embarrassment or shame or
regret. I definitely.
I used to really get triggered when Snapchat would say remember
this seven years ago today. And it would bring up memories
that I don't necessarily want to remember because I was like, Oh
my God, I can't believe I did that.
Like, so embarrassing. Or then it would bring up
thoughts of, like, the rest of the event that aren't on camera.
But it's like old memories. And you're like, God, like, that
was so dumb. Like, I can't believe I talked
to that person. I can't believe I did this or
that. And it was very much that
shameful, regretful energy. And like, oh, what do people
think of me? Like, do other people remember
that I did that at that party? Like, probably not like.
People care about themselves way more than they care about what
you did. But I would look back on things
and feel embarrassed for that version of myself.
I would look back on elementary photos of me and think that I
was just like, not a cute kid, like like just And I would like
shit on myself. And I'm like, why am I doing
that? Like. 12 year old me couldn't
help it. Like I looked how I looked.
She's kind of cute. We all have a duckling face.
You know, it comes to pass. And now I look at her.
It's one of my favorite photos ever.
I show people so we can have a good laugh, but it's me laughing
with myself instead of at myself and being like, Oh my God,
that's such an embarrassing photo.
It's it's like, look at this photo.
This is so like, isn't she funny like?
We all start somewhere, but you look back on those memories with
more of a wow, I actually went through that.
I made it through. We learned something and you can
kind of connect the dots rather than, you know, explaining it
away or trying to not look at those photos or deleting the
whole album on your phone. I've thought about doing that,
deleting a bunch of college things.
And I'm like, you know what? I'm going to regret that?
I'm going to regret not being able to look back and see how
far I've come so true. Every single thing has been a
part of what's made us who we are today.
And like, deleting photos like that is such a great example of
like deleting that memory or like trying to push it down.
But really, I still have things that have happened in my life or
things that I did or said that I'm like, Oh my God, it's so
embarrassing, whatever. But it's also, it's becoming
less and less because I'm like, wow, like I learned this from
this. So like this brought me to this
person who introduced me to the like, what?
How incredible. And if we didn't have those
times, then it's so true we wouldn't really be able to
appreciate how far we've come or like the really beautiful times
either. So it's all just part of the
part of the journey and part of like, the growing pains of of
being humans. I guess the.
Truly, last thing, we can wrap this up with a little bow.
You trust that everything is falling into place as it's as
it's meant to. Like literally nothing is a
coincidence. I don't believe in coincidences
and I've been blown away with what's been but on my path and
I'm just like, wait. I will say things like, Oh my
gosh, the craziest thing just happened.
But actually I'm not even surprised because things like
this happen all the time. But every time, every time it
happens, I'm like, Oh my God, Carly, the craziest thing
happened. I ran into this person and
honestly, not even surprised because this happens all the
time, which is also manifestation.
Like good things come to me always whatever that type of
stuff, but just everything's falling into place.
I don't know how, when, why or what's going to happen, but.
I've stopped asking opinions because when I think, when I've
told people that I am probably going to move, move out of this
apartment in March, but I don't know if I'm going to move, move
or whatever. And people keep asking me now
This is why I'm careful with when I share and how I share and
with who I share because they're like, Oh well, what's your plan?
I'm like, I don't, I don't have a plan.
You know, I feel like people have known me long enough now
that it's like, stop asking me about my plan it.
It's a surprise. I don't know.
I think so much can happen between now and then.
And I'm not going to try to figure it out because for some
reason everything seems to happen for me.
And I don't think I'm going to have to make that decision.
I think something's going to happen and it's going to be
like, Oh yeah, that makes sense. Let's go.
So I think one thing that even human design and and the gene
keys or whatever can teach us and from like even more of the
Eastern perspective that now I've gained from going to India
and just my own like my own life experience and just taking that
time to be still, it really shows us that yes, oh, this is
going to be a good example. Our teacher Nanji in India, he
talked about free will and how a lot of people we think that free
will is, being able to choose like what you're going to eat
today, what you're going to do with your life, all of this
stuff, blah blah, blah, blah, blah.
And I really, just really spoke to me and it might not speak to
everyone right at this point. So just take it if you will,
leave it if you don't. But it's like the true free will
that we have is are we going to willingly jump on board with
life and what life has to offer us and what we have to offer
life back in return? We we have the free will to say
yes to like what we are here, to do what the universe already has
planned or to not do that that is the free will.
The free will is to say yes to what we're here to do or to say
like, no, I'm going to try to do this and do this and do this and
and go against myself here and there and like, try to be this
person that society thinks I'm going to be or to say this yes,
I'm going to flow with life. That's the only free will that
we have. And that just like, again, some
people might not ready to be ready to hear that.
And like a year ago I would not have been ready to hear that,
but like that just instantly, I'm glad I'm remembering this
because wow, I needed to hear that myself.
It's like takes the pressure off and it's like we're all here for
a reason and just say yes to that reason, even if you don't
know what it is. Life is designed to show you
that reason. And that's it's simple.
Hearing you say that makes me think of sharing human design
with people, and the coolest thing that I see on almost
everybody's face is just a sigh of relief.
Yeah. It's like I don't have to have
whatever mask it is they have on anymore.
Like, whoa, like, you're right. Or this is me.
Or I feel so seen. Or wow, this has shown up and
it's just such a sense of relief that you're just here to be you
and just stop trying to be anything else.
And what's beautiful about this though too is like to have
somebody, like, let's say you go to Alexis for a reading.
Maybe me Alexis is doing more of that right now than I am.
And because I I've experienced this, it was like, Oh my gosh,
the permission I never needed. I never knew I needed to just be
who I am. But then the growing pains of
that too, because you realize, Oh my God, I've been like
putting this mask on for years. And the mask like, even though
it didn't feel good all the time, I'm like used to trying to
fit into that role. And then that time period of
like, I know I've, I've had moments where I'm like, I don't
want to be a fucking manifester. I don't want to be a three, six
profile. Like that's fucking difficult
because I've been not trying to be that my entire life.
And so you have this, I've had this like back and forth of like
feeling so liberated by that knowledge.
But also that, yeah, the growing pains of like, OK, we have to
like shed. I have to shed this, this skin,
this mask that I've been trying to fit into.
And it's stuck. You know, it's like it didn't
fit me. So it's like stuck on my head,
like a tight neckline of a sweater that you're trying to
get off and you want it off. But then like, also it's cozy
kind of when it's on. But like, it needs to come off
for you to be yourself and to like, let yourself just be in
your own liberation. But it's hard to like having the
whole point in this is having someone like say, Alexis or
another human design reader or anybody in your life to kind of
to keep that perspective there and to help us through these
times of growth and outgrowing. Because with that growth comes
those growing pains is so important because humans are
habitual creatures. And even if a habit doesn't feel
good, even if a habit isn't really in your highest good,
it's still something that is known.
It feels safe to our nervous system.
So just to have that, yeah, that support to get you through that
is priceless. This was a fun episode.
I'm glad we did one that was more topic based.
We still free flow and get on tangents, but this is really
good reflection honestly to just chat through how we have grown
because I feel like I had visions throughout talking about
this, about the past things and I'm like well.
Actually, we have actually come a long way even in reflecting on
how this is going to be episode like 35 or something like that.
How much we've changed just from episode one to now is crazy.
Just like, listen to episode one again.
Oh my gosh, that's wild. We should do, we should do that
one of these times. Like listen to episode one and
then come and reflect on it. I think that would be really
funny because that was November of last year, which it really
hasn't been that long, but wholly that feels like lifetimes
ago. I was living in my parents house
and like no idea I was going to move here at all.
Crazy. So much has happened.
So much has changed. So much has changed.
I feel like my big thing that I can say is like, I was realizing
that what I thought I wanted to do wasn't really what, and so I
had no idea. And I still don't have a clear,
clear, clear idea of like what I will be doing, which, you know,
I've gotten. I'm more OK with that.
Because really, no one knows. Nobody knows.
We have ideas, but like ideas and dreams, they evolve and
change. But.
Yeah, but to close this out, I did want to mention that yes,
Carly and I both do human design readings.
So if you are interested at all in hearing about yours, I will
put the link to look up your chart in the in the caption of
this episode and. It's just so fun to even look
at, but it's very overwhelming. I'm going to forewarn you, if
you look up your chart, you're going to be like, what the heck
does this mean? So please reach out DM Carly, DM
me, or click the link in my Instagram bio.
I have my calendar link also in the caption below this episode,
but I would love to chat with you about it.
I'm starting to do some in person workshops in Minneapolis.
And then? I'm trying to get some guides
up, like some free digital download guides, because once I
looked at mine I really wanted to share it with friends and
family and then also understand theirs.
And it just takes so much Googling to try to find
information about human design. It's still not super widespread
and accessible yet, so I'm working on getting some of those
up and then they're really beautiful.
Carly. OK, yeah, Carly.
They passed the Carly test so. I have those that I'm working
on. I'm also doing human design
guidebooks. So if you want every part of
your chart broken down into more of something that you can just
have all the time to read. It's a digital PDF that goes
into like your energy type, feel like your centers, whether
they're defined or undefined, all your gates, your channels
into detail. So you have, you would have all
of that. So I have those as well.
Yeah, please message if you're interested.
I love talking about it. And yeah, that is the end of
this upset. That's all folks.
I hope you're having a great day.
Wherever you're listening, we're grateful for you guys and we'll
see you in the next one. Bye.