Welcome to the let it flow podcast.
I'm Alexis and I'm Carly. We're just two humans figuring
things out. And we're here to share deeper
conversations about mindset, spirituality, personal growth
and tangents on everything in between.
We hope this podcast encourages you to ask bigger questions and
think and live outside the box. We are always learning.
But the one thing we found to be 100% true, is that life is meant
to flow. So whether you're all in on your
personal growth dirty or just starting out, let's flow
together. Welcome back to another episode
of the Let It Flow podcast. We have another guest on today.
We're so excited, we are talking to leopardi.
She is an author speaker and breathwork facilitator.
She hosts the bare naked Soul podcast and is the author of
confessions of an uncaged Soul plus 2.
Guided journals, Leah, teaches women all over the world to
navigate fear and live a slow sensual and intentional life in
the present moment, which is so perfect for Let It Flow.
What we focus on so, welcome Leah.
How are you? Oh, I'm so good.
I'm so excited to be here with you guys.
Just love these open conversations and love your
guys's Vibe. I'm like this is going to be a
really good conversation. Yes, we're excited too.
And I think I have to throw it out there that Carly had texted
me after our last guest episode and said, it would be so fun to
have a breathwork facilitator on the podcast.
Maybe one will come to us and I kid you not a couple hours
later. Later, Leah popped into.
My DMs and said, hi, I'm a breathwork facilitator and would
love to be on your podcast and it was the critical thing I
about through my phone across the room.
Like what kind of Wizardry is? This is called it right in.
What can I say? The alignments there.
The energy is there. It's so exciting.
And I'm so excited to talk to you about this because breath
work is so powerful. And I've really fallen in love
with it. I've had some wild experiences
with breathwork. And yeah, I'm just so excited to
hear like how you got into it and like what really spoke to
you about it. Yeah, absolutely.
It is so powerful. So it started with meditation
about four years ago. I, you know, I had heard about
it and I think I was like reading about it in books.
I was starting to get really, to the spirituality stuff.
And I remember being like intimidated by it though because
I was like, well, at the time I was I really identified as a
Christian at the time and you know, more religious than
spiritual. And so I was like well is this
bad like is this like you know, something will make God mad at
me like you know, because I didn't know anyone who meditated
at all. Look at all.
And so it's funny because I started meditating.
And then next thing I knew when I opened up the Bible, the next
time I noticed the word meditate is in there, so like so much,
although it's not incorporated into creating the modern
Christianity, which is really, really interesting.
Resting. But anyways, so I got really
into meditation start with like, started really small, like five
minutes in the morning. Five minutes before bed got
hooked. It just helps me feel more
present. More at ease less anxiety.
It was just, it was just so crazy.
Really tapping into that Joy from within, you know, for the
first time in my life, it was, it was what's this happiness?
That's not caused by someone outside of me.
Something happening. That's going my way, right?
And so pretty The way I found breath work and I started, you
know, going to different peoples workshops online and things like
that. And I just couldn't believe like
the Altered States and puts you in and the euphoria that comes
and then I started kind of deepen my understanding, and
learning about how it actually helps us to shed those, those
energies, those trapped emotions.
Those repressed emotions over time and started to realize,
like how healing and Powerful it was.
So from there became a facilitator and incorporate that
into my business But yeah, it's really really, it's a really
cool experience. So Carly went to what was that
in Yoga Retreat. I wanted you to share what
happened to you and oh yeah. He's talking about those
euphoric States, what that what that means?
Like, how can breathing change your state.
So I'd love for you to share what happened to you because
it's kind of crazy. Yeah.
So I've been doing breathwork kind of off and on for quite a
few years now it started with I mean yoga years Years ago.
But I didn't really realize that at the time that there was like,
it was like one in the same for me.
I didn't realize that you could just do breath work and not be
also, doing yoga, the Asana of yoga and then pause for a few
years and I discovered when Hoff and his breath work.
So, I got in it and that was beautiful, just like the feeling
that comes alive in the body and like the release of some of the
emotions. But by far the Wildest
experience I've had, is this past year at the end of the
year, I discovered this teaching of yoga called satva yoga, I
don't know if you've heard of it, but it's very integrative.
So you have all the different yoga's like in one so like
Ashtanga. And the, which is Kundalini like
all of these and breathwork is a huge portion of the practice.
And one day, it was one of the rich.
REITs. That me and my mom went to
actually, we were doing this practice and these practices,
you know, you start with a lot of breath work and Korea, which
would just like repetitive postures, and then we do more of
the Asana yoga practice. And then at the end our guide,
she brought us through really powerful deep breathing.
So you were like in as deep as you can and then out as much as
you can and all of the sudden I was coming to and Her, and the
other woman there were helping me, sit up.
And I had like, completely, like, I don't know if even
passed out is the right word, but I had just, I was gone, and
I got up and I told Alexis this, I'm like, I had never felt my
body, so alive before it was like my room and then I got up
and was like, whoa, setup. They helped me like lean over
and all the sudden, just waves of emotion came over me, and I
was just crying, like, crying silently, but it was just
release release release and I and the beautiful thing that
I've experienced with breathwork, which I'd love to
hear your thoughts as well. Is, I didn't feel like I needed
to get in there and know exactly what it was, but I could feel
the release and that is so beautiful because oftentimes in
personal growth and development, I feel like we can sometimes Get
lost, and there's a part of it, that's important but we can get
lost in almost the, I don't know if dramas the right word.
If like what caused these these challenges in our lives.
But it's the thing I love about breathwork is you can release
those and not have to like, get into the drama and really
understand what it was. It just is like Flume Gahan and
it's, I'm have goose bumps right now.
Oh my gosh, such a cool experience.
It's yeah. It's almost like you had like an
out-of-body experience. It's really it does make you
feel alive. It's one of those things with
breathwork where it is. Hard to explain why someone
listening who's never done before.
They might be like, okay, what like what's really going on
here? But it takes you, so deep into
your body that you do feel so alive.
And I totally agree. I think it's a very, it's it
makes sense to say like yeah, we do get caught up in the drama.
We get caught up in the stories around.
Why this happened? And why we shouldn't have
happened to us or the explanations in our Why this
trauma, whatever. And like, yeah, there's a time
and a place for those things, but you can only go so far being
in the mind and the mind will often, as we all know continue
to replay itself, right? The mind is always replaying
things and repeating things and they tend to be negative.
And so we tend to be so caught up there.
And that's why I like my whole thing is like the present moment
because there's so much power when you let go of the thinking,
mind you come into the body. And so with breathwork like you
were saying yeah it like releases things without you
having their like re grommet become re-traumatized.
You don't have to revisit that exact experience to release it,
which is so profound and how it works is.
Basically, you know, from the time we were little children,
you know, we were taught it's not okay to cry.
Be a big girl, you know, stop. Stop it like, you know,
especially men even more. So but we were taught that
emotions really aren't cool. It's a really not okay to have.
Personally not, okay. To feel what you're feeling,
it's not okay, to be angry and then we went to school and it
was speaking more reinforced the world taught us to suppress our
emotions essentially, and now we become adults.
And most of us, you know, drink wine or excess food.
I remember like binge eating on this binge eating period in my
twenties where I thought. I don't know why I'm eating so
much food, but like I'll never be able to stop.
And I now see that I was pushing down the stress of my job and
the anxiety. I was feeling and we go to
Netflix and porn and social media like whatever it is.
We're trying to numb ourselves. We don't want to feel it, but we
really need to do is feel it to heal it.
Like that's all we have to do to process.
Those emotions that could literally stuck inside of our
bodies is feel them. Allow them to be there.
So, the emotions are energy and they're stuck in our body until
they get triggered something, triggers us, you know, there's
like that phrase where someone says that you Didn't your body
like get angry coming up. We all have triggers and so we
get triggered and those emotions start to come back up.
But normally we shove them back down.
So, we have a lot going on inside of their bottled up with
us causing disease, causing anxiety, causing depression.
And so with Brad work or really tapping into that energetic
layer where those energies are stored and through the breath.
And through those movements in those strong and fast, breaths
that you described we're releasing.
Those energies. And so it's a really common
experience to have crying or anger.
Some people had a lot of visuals that come up for them.
I have had memories come up but it's never been like it's never
been anything very specific. It's kind of been a random
flashes of memories and I've never had anyone say that they
had that they relived a trauma. Like, I've never heard of that
happening turn breathwork, so you're experiencing Euphoria or
crying or all these different things.
And typically, what follows is lightness is like, ah, just feel
lighter afterwards because you released things in such a deep
physical cellular way. It's so crazy.
I am new to breathwork, I downloaded an app that was doing
a free 30 days and it was the new year.
So I thought, why not try something new?
And I've noticed on their app that there's different types of
breath work. Depending on what thing, I On
they'll be one where it's just focus on your breath and keep it
steady. And then there's some that's
478. Then, there's some that are box
breathing. And I was wondering if you could
for anybody listening, that's new to breathwork describe the
differences between different types of breathing or different
practices and breathwork. I might be saying things wrong
here and not knowing the terminology, but it ended like
tell a little bit about that. Yeah, yeah, totally.
And the interesting thing with breathwork is, there's different
terminology. So, there's different name Names
for the same kind of breathing, which is a little bit confusing,
but there's like, people have kind of coin like the Wim Hof
method which I love love him, but like, he coined a breath
work with his name, which is fine, but it's like been around
for, you know, thousands of years, just like yoga and then
other people have named other breath works in the, you know,
have given the name. So it's a little bit.
Unlike yoga is like a new but there's like, very specific
names for each thing with breathwork.
It's there could be different For calling it and it's
different things but basically all breath work is is just
different breathing patterns. So like you have I mean there's
so many different ones but like the Box breathing you're
breathing in in for a certain number of breaths and breathing
out for a certain number of breaths and you're doing some
counting there's like Breath of Fire which is common in yoga
where you doing really rapidly Breath of Fire a for so long
that was like my go-to for like a couple months ago.
I was worried that like, every day, it was just like my go-to.
Yeah. You doing like Deep breaths into
the belly like really, really, really fast the kind that you
were probably doing, although there are different names for it
on Carly, the one that you described is typically
considered conscious connected breathwork so it's like a
circular breathing pattern, it's fast and strong, you're like,
lying down for this experience, that's one.
That was something that was unique to that experience for
me. And I've done Santa for
practices after that. And it's a common thing in that
practice, they call. I don't know how many they are.
I'm actually doing a training in a few months.
I'm going to India to do this training but so I'll find out.
But they have Cosmic breaths and there's like different patterns
and this one, if I remember correctly, it was in very deeply
through the nose out. Very deeply through the nose in
through the mouth and then out to the mouth and then so
something like that. Like that.
I don't know what happened but That's incredible.
Oh my gosh. Yeah, yeah.
There's so many different breathing patterns and it's a
really cool thing to dive into because it's there's just always
something new to learn, always a new way of doing it.
So what would you say to people starting out in it?
When say, I go on this app? I see all of these different
options of classes or meditations to do.
Some of them are four minutes long.
Some of them are an hour long, does the timing matter?
I mean, you're gonna have a different experience with the
amount of time, so, The kind of breath work where you're going
to have the experience of like crying and releasing and having
a Trippy experience. It's going to be, at least like
a 20, 30 minute session. Typically you know, you're
probably not going to have that smell like a five or ten minute
session. But if you're just starting out
the five or ten minute session, be a great place to start you
know, because we don't want to, we want to do it regularly.
That would be ideal because it's going to overtime release a lot
of repressed emotions. So for me, you know, I started
doing it. I don't know me.
Be two years ago, several times a week and not for any crazy
length of time. Although sometimes I would do
like an hour-long, right? But most the time, it was
shorter ones. But, yeah, it's, I, I over time
became a much less reactive person, and just notice, I was
living more like lightheartedly. So that's kind of the effect you
can have doing it over time. So if you're new to something, I
think it's really great to start really small.
So like maybe doing a five or ten minute session but say Tell
yourself you can do it three times a week and then maybe
incorporate like an hour-long session once or twice a month,
but to go really deep. I don't know, I think it would
be a cool thing. If you were just like looking at
a bunch of different options, just ask yourself, ask your
intuition like which one feels good right now and then just
trust what comes up. Yeah, 100%.
I'm personally working on building the habit of it.
So right now, sometimes it's five minutes, right?
When I wake up, if I remember, or right before bed, I've had a
lot of nights where I'm like, shoot it's 10:00, but I'm going
to do it and it's just gonna be Five minutes but it counts and
we're keeping with the habit. I haven't you worked with
anybody who starts to do this breathwork and that's why it's
so probably helpful to have a guide bringing you through this
as well. But worked with somebody who
struggles with it because I have experienced even myself but then
other people say they tried to do it but it's hard like they
feel almost like it's hard because their lungs you know, or
or we don't Always know how to actually breathe deep because so
many people are breathing through that.
So have you experienced that with some of your clients or
people you've worked with yeah, you know.
I so we don't breathe properly. We're very hunched over and
that's part of the problem in our society were very hunched
over and so we're not really breathing with the full scope of
our diaphragm. And then we have a lot of stress
and anxiety, you know, when you're like really stressed and
can feel like you feel, you can't catch a breath and you
can't take a deep breath. Something like that.
I think those things really play a role, but I think the biggest
thing that would make it feel hard is resistance, you know, is
the mind, the Mind hates breath work, because it gets rid of the
mind. So it shuts off the default
mode. Network, part of the brain,
which is the, which is the condition, monkey mind
Chatterbox over-thinker, the mine.
Doesn't want to be. Shut off, right?
The ego wants its grip on you. So it will resist breath work.
Like a mother like it is going to talk you out of it all day
long. I used to resist breath work so
hard. I think that's the real.
The real problem here is that it's not that you can't do the
breathing exercises. Although there are some people
who maybe have like health conditions that could restrict
them or who just need to start off with a slower and calmer
breathwork exercise like do it. Feels right with your body by
all means but I wonder If you would let go of the thought and
just really be in your body what would happen because I've also
heard of people having like they'll have like sudden back
pain when they're trying to do breathwork or meditate sudden
this or that and it's resistance.
That's all it is. You don't want to let yourself.
You don't want to let go, your mind doesn't want to let go.
So, just taking that into consideration with all things in
life, right? What else?
We resisting, what other things are?
We coming up with ways? That can't work, right?
So yeah, I think that's That's like a sneaky sneaky one I have
noticed that so much when I tried to sit cross-legged on the
floor and keep my spine straight.
My back is on fire, almost every time I try to do it and then the
longest breath work, I've done is 20 minutes and it had a lot
of that fast-paced, like in out in out and I and my head felt
like I was doing burpees at the gym and I wanted to stop, I
wanted to quit so badly. It amazed.
See how similar that was. It felt like I was resisting
physical exercise that I absolutely hated, but I was just
breathing. Yeah, we resist so many things
that are so good for us. I know we've talked about it on
this podcast and other episodes, but what we've noticed and I'm
sure you can relate is the things you resist.
The most are the things that are best for you or the or it's
going to be the next step that you have to take to get to where
you're meant to be and it's always when you reach that high
resistance but you need to keep going and that's just all.
I kept telling myself. Self in my head is like this is
a 20-minute thing you can get through it.
It's not long, keep breathing, it's so true.
We resist we need the most, it's absolutely true.
Yeah, I've been experiencing that a lot lately, I've been
kind of in kind of a funk, the last few days.
And there's a few other things that are have been affecting at
that are kind of outside of myself.
So only I can really control how I react to those things but I am
in command of that and it's so funny.
How I've noticed this pattern Within Myself, I will, even
though I have all of these tools sometimes it's like, I don't
know exactly what it is but it's that resistance to even using
the tools to get out of the funk.
And then I get to the point where I'm like, okay, F, this
Carly like you're done pitying yourself like and then I would
get there, but I think that's the key.
I've noticed that this happens to me so much more when I'm not
being as consistent with my practices, with the breath work,
or the yoga, or the meditation. And because when I'm consistent
with that, I don't get into those funks that often and, you
know, life gets busy and that's just how it is.
And so, for example, the last couple of Weeks, I've been
really busy with things that have been.
I've been allowing to take my concentration away from my
personal practices and oh my God, I feel it.
I feel like that almost relates to him the same way if I, if I
stop my daily, like, meditation breathwork yoga and I kind of
fall off like I do cause slip into funks, and then you'd like
snap out of it, but I think it kind of relates to the thing
with like with like being attached to the guard drama.
It's like there's almost this satisfaction.
Of being in a funk or like, I don't even know how to explain
it. But I've been there so many
times. I'm sure you guys have to.
It's like, we almost want a Pity ourselves because my mind was
our mind loves a good pity party.
And so it wants to stay there. We talked about this Alexis with
them, even school. We were in the same major
actually in college, and I remember didn't last very long.
It didn't get me quite to the end of our four-year degree, but
for the first couple years, Years.
I had this like, weird satisfaction about being
miserable like about like having those late Studio nights, but
like, oh, I love it because I'm doing this and I'm working so
hard and I'm not getting any sleep.
And so I'm feel horrible. But like, also look at what I'm
doing, it's just such a weird thing and I'm, I was just going
to say that fits in with with society and the people you
surround yourself with all of our classmates were complaining.
A lot of our family and friends complain.
And so, if you're also in that funk then you're a part of the
collective. Is complaining and like down and
out and being the one. That's not as actually
separating herself from the group.
So I feel like there's part of our mind that feels comfortable
in that because it's like, oh, I can, I can commiserate with
these people rather than being like, hey, I I have breath work.
I've meditation, I can get out of this.
I have all the tools. And then I think there's also
something to be said of having all the tools and then not
accessing them. Because they're always there,
it's like, oh well, I know. No, I know that I have it.
I can access it anytime but not today I'll do it tomorrow
because it's there but I'm not going to do it now.
Yeah that reminds me of like how I was like I when I used to work
in corporate I was like super in the masculine hustle.
I mean hardcore, like working, just first person, the office
last person to leave every single day, you know, barely
sleeping because I was just had to climb the corporate ladder as
fast as I could and in competition with everyone and
Although it was it, I realized I felt like shit.
Like I had tons of anxiety and stuff, but Anna wasn't taking
care of myself, but there was like the satisfaction of like
the ego part of it and and yeah, like you were saying Alexis,
it's like whatever you surround yourself with you become.
So everyone around you something about the same things.
Everyone around, you is doing the same Rat, Race.
Hustle thing as everyone around. You is in their victim mindset,
like your, there's going to be a part of you that even wants it
more to fit in. 100%. We are strange creatures.
I actually it was on your Instagram right before this and
saw a post that you had pinned and I really want to read it
because Carly and I both thought it was so beautiful and I think
it goes into what you mentioned early about earlier about
present moment magic and slow living.
And this is what you wrote. We've been sold a lie, we don't
need more. We actually need less less
pressure to have the perfect body, the perfect house the
perfect Anka, count less stress from buying things, we truly
can't afford less trying to impress others with our success
less filters, less makeup less lip injections and more of only
one thing love. We loved that.
Yeah, that was beautiful. And so, I would love for you to
touch on that present moment magic.
And that's such an interesting way to say it.
So maybe where you came up with that phrase and how present
moment magic. It has affected your life.
Yeah, thank you so much. So, when I was writing, my book
confessions of an on cage soul that was one of the titles, I
almost used was present moment magic.
And that was like, kind of in a brainstorming session of what I
really wanted to to bring in with the book.
And we're Times what it was becoming more of a memoir and
less than Memoir and it couldn't decide how much I to share and
family things and whatever. So, yeah, I think the present
moment is the most important thing we can possibly focus on I
think, being present is everything because otherwise,
we're caught up like, in, like, in the the words you just read
like we're caught up in this rat race of needing more wanting
more. If I only had this next thing
then I'll be happy, right? We're always caught up in that
next thing. And that never satisfies us
because there's always a next thing.
And so until we until we break that cycle, and really bring
ourselves into the present moment on a daily basis, feeling
feeling the emotions of the present, the sensuality feeling,
it all, with all of our senses, the taste of the present, the
smell of the present moment, the textures on our body, just like
the whatever's happening in nature in the present until we
do that on a daily basis were constantly.
Caught up in, what's next? And we're constantly projecting
our happiness down the road into the future.
So I think that us coming into the present is the most
important thing we can do. It's us letting go of the Mind,
Is Us letting go of the overthinking and the incessant
worrying that just drives us crazy.
And it's, you know, breath work is a huge part of it for me and
helping me stay present meditation yoga journaling.
So many different tools but it's the joy that we So desperately
seek is already within us. It's already here as long as we
just stopped. Attaching ourselves to the
Future. Amen.
Yes. Because when we project into the
future that you were going to get this thing that we so
desperately want, it's always about a feeling right?
And it's all about that, it's about that emotion that you're
attaching to the Future. Well, if you know what emotion
you're looking for in the future, you've obviously felt it
before and you have that emotion in that energy inside of you to
experience it now. Now, and so that's the whole
point, what people talk about in manifestation is okay, there's
that thing in the future you want, how are you going to feel
when you have it and feel it now instead?
And so that's so important to recognize that you have the
ability to feel that now in the present moment.
Yeah, it's something we have to remind ourselves of over and
over and over and over because Society is selling us on the LIE
that we need more. So we have to remember, like,
okay, why do I want that vacation?
Like feel what I'm there. And like a vacation is not bad,
right? None of the things are bad.
House isn't bad. Makeups.
Not that these things aren't bad.
It's us becoming I can't be happy unless this exact thing is
in my life and more and more and more and larger quantities all
the time, right? But it's like, how would I feel
if I had that home that they keishon, that purse that partner
like what what am I really looking for?
And it's like it's hard to remember that we're really
looking for a Feeling. This is a bit of a personal
story on that, but last year I cut back on how much makeup I
was wearing because I realized that I would walk by the mirror
with no makeup on and avoid looking at myself.
And I realized that I wanted the makeup to make myself feel,
beautiful and feel happy, and be able to be on camera and on
screen and do all the things. And I have a much better
relationship with it now because I detach from the idea that the
makeup was giving me Any of that validation.
And now I find myself doing it with other products.
Like, I went shopping the other day and bought a jacket and it
wasn't with the energy of I'm going to feel beautiful in this
in this jacket. Or this jacket is going to give
me happiness because it's going to complete my wardrobe or
whatever other stories I used to tell my mind.
It was more of this seems fun and I am my own little doll in
this lifetime. I get to dress up and I am happy
with my closet now, and I will be happy with or without this
Jack. Ticket and with her without
makeup. And I think it's so important to
get to that point. Where with or without this
thing, I am. Okay?
And I'm fine and really recognizing that.
I feel like it's an example of those things become tools for
your expression, instead of your expression relying on those
outside things. Yes, I like that because I feel
like we've all experienced this. Like, we're all taught this
growing up. It's why?
World. I feel like the deepest thing of
spirituality, like, what spirituality really is, is
coming into this knowing that, like, this, this body is my
avatar for this lifetime and all these things aren't that are
happening in my reality are real, but they're also an
illusion and my happiness is not dependent on any of them, and I
can't control things going a certain way.
So, as long as I stay in my body, and in my soul and remind
myself that like, Like I've already arrived, I have
everything I need then I don't have to think these things
outside of me are going to change my internal State because
they really don't. Hmm.
And they're like bonuses to experience.
Let's play with them all and enjoy them all.
It's like, what's that saying is like be in the world but not of
it. Yes, I love that.
So you were saying how you were in corporate world and like
climbing the ladder and probably had very specific Lifestyles and
goals and everything. obviously you have very much transition
from that and so the question is around the idea of transition
and how that was for you because I feel there are more and more
and more and more people going through these transitions or
like even been wanting to transition their life for a
couple years or more now, but it's freaking scary, it's scary
to change and uproot your life and and have those Emotions come
up of being like, wait, this is not what I want anymore.
So how was that for you challenges positives?
Well, at that time, it was about two and a half years ago when I
was leaving corporate. But for the couple years before
that I was building my business, you know, I was what I was
trying to make a mini business like a full-time income, right?
And I just was at a point where In my healing journey.
I still had a lot of ego work to do, which I still do, right.
I'm not like saying like now I'm totally healed and enlightened.
But, at this point, I haven't decided a lot more work to do
that to where I am now. And so, I was very, very, very
attached to exactly what I'm talking about.
I removed this in my book because the moment when I quit
my job you know I had desperately wanted it for so
long. It was all I thought about all I
cared about and care about anything else.
I thought Once I quit my job and worked myself, I'd be happy.
No matter what and I would feel different, I would feel like the
people that I was idolizing on the internet who looked so
successful. I thought I would feel like them
all of the sudden and that just didn't happen right?
That projecting the feeling on to the thing.
It pops up all the time happened multiple times in my life I've
been to that point but that was when the lesson finally like I
was like oh oh okay. Okay, yeah, that's right.
Like things happening outside of me aren't really Gonna Change.
I don't not going to feel like a different person, right?
I'm still going to feel like me and then my mind's going to come
up with next problem that needs to be solved, the next thing
that needs to happen for me to be happy.
So it was a huge lesson are two huge wake-up call there but it
was a big transition. I saved up money for a long time
and I to be honest I expected my business to stay at the level of
Was forever. We're go up, like, definitely go
up. But I was under the impression
that like that was, those are the only possibilities.
It would be study or it would go up, not never that it would go
down or be inconsistent, although like I have saved up
money for those moments, but yeah, I found that I was
becoming really, really attached to the results.
The outcomes, the specific outcomes.
So it was really hard to kind of separate myself from Um that and
you know, building a personal brand it's like you, it's you.
So it's a lot of rejection that feels really, really personal.
So there was a biggest growth during in my life to learn to
let go of those things and surrender the outcomes and be
okay with the different directions.
I business would take and that Journey really led me to where I
am now and with writing my book and all the surrender stuff and
all the present moment stuff because it was like the biggest
journey I ever had and letting do Well, I relate to this so
much. I not going to go into it but
Alexis and I have been on kind of a parallel journey and I've
kind of taken a slight pause on that because I realized kind of
the same thing. Like I was kind of forcing these
outcomes on to myself and attaching a lot to those things.
And it's funny because I was just telling a friend this
yesterday, A lot of my things I would share.
Sharing last year, before I took my little paws that you've been
helping me so much like they like pass.
Carly is helping present Carly with like future Carly knowledge
and I'm like, holy crap. This is wild, but it's beautiful
because it's all for me. Been about, like really finding
that Foundation Within Myself And it letting myself Express,
whatever comes out and not worrying so much about what it
needs to look like. And it's a kind of, I don't I
want to say battle because that sounds dramatic, but it kind of
is, it's a battle between like being totally at peace and
letting go and just trusting the unfoldment of everything.
And then, you know, when you're shown something on social media,
or someone asks, you a question or you see something on TV or
something? Then it's like all those doubts
and stuff come back. But and I don't know, I don't
think. Those will ever fully go away
for anybody because that's just the nature of the mind.
But like to get to a point where you have that Foundation to just
feel that wave come through and just be like, no, okay, I'm
good. It just pass on through.
So I still don't know what I'm really doing, but my only goal
is to be myself and express myself and we're gonna see where
it goes. Yeah, it's definitely like I
feel like when I run my business had the pressure Sure.
I like I had a lot of pressure on it for a long time and that
made me, it took away from like the authentic expression and
just the fun of it and lightness of it.
But then to let go of that pressure.
It's like you really gotta like sink into that trust.
You know, this has been such a theme lately.
In our conversations. I know I'm laughing over here
because I am slowly like Lincoln from just the last year of
discovering coaching in and then like doing coaching training and
then I had a business coach. And then I was in everybody,
else's containers and learning, and learning, and growing so
much from other people. And then being on social media
and following other other accounts, and how they do
business. And I just kept feeling like I
was trying to Niche down number one and then I decided not to do
that, but even though I consciously said, no, don't nice
down. My subconscious was still
running like But nobody's gonna understand what you're doing.
You need to be more specific. Like who are you selling to?
What's the product? What's your purpose?
And it was just a low hum Underneath It.
All that I didn't realize was still there and even just
reflecting yesterday it popped up again and I'm like I've been
diluting myself to make my page more understandable and
digestible for people that I feel like I should be attracting
for whatever reason. When in reality when the more
yourself you are you're going to Track the people that are meant
to work with you and so it's just so funny how that creeps
into your mind and you mentioned in the form that we sent to you
before about social media addiction.
And I'm so curious to hear what your experience has been with
that from following other practitioners to building your
business and this whole journey and how social media has played
into it for you. Yeah, so I feel like before I
have my business, I definitely was on social media a lot, you
know. But it was different like it
wasn't. I mean, I also was much less
aware, so maybe I wasn't quite as aware of, of the picking up
my phone unconsciously and looking at it in any spare
moment that I had, but as I became more into the present
moment, I started to realize that social media was really
pulling me away from the here. And now and that in any quiet,
pause, that would have my A, I would unconsciously grab that
phone and go to social media and do a ton of comparison, right?
And feel like what could I put what do I need to post right now
and like and just a lot of that stuff.
And so a little over a year ago I decided to put some boundaries
in that been so helpful. So I stopped going on my
Instagram like suck my own social media past, five PM, like
evenings are just like a no first, our 2:00 in the morning
are no and most weekends I take off as well and it's just been
so so helpful to like, Have those it's just like takes away
that addiction, like it's but I definitely noticed that during
the day I still have like a major tendency to want to check
it 500 times. So recently, I bought just a few
weeks ago, I bought a locking box on Amazon with the timer.
So I like lock my phone in there for a few hours a day, so I can
get my work done. And this is really crazy.
The piece that you feel when you don't have your phone is so
wild. Old.
And like the level of focus that you have and creativity and
inspiration and intuitive. Downloads, like for me at all
increases when I'm not like, always kind of having this like,
It's like this pull in my body to, like, constantly grab my
phone, so I'm always, like, working on ways to kind of
detach from that, but I definitely think in our society
were, we're not allowing ourselves of any moments of
quiet anymore, and I think that's really damaging to all of
us. Mhm.
Yesterday, this is reminds me of my, my dad was scrolling on his
phone and my mom was watching TV, and I decided to leave my
phone in my bedroom, just for a little while, because I was in a
tick tock, binge, and when that happens, I almost have to do
321. Throw my phone in order to tear
myself away from it. It's ridiculous, but I was
standing in the living room, just not looking at the TV, and
I just started dancing, for no reason.
And my parents looked at me, like, what is wrong with you?
And I just said, I left my phone in my room and I have no idea
what to do with myself. Isn't that just crazy?
Yes, but it's so relatable to everyone listening.
One thing I can struggle with is the fact At that, I love what
social media allows us to do today.
Like it's incredible but I do like I talked to Alexis and my
business coach last year about this.
It also I get on it and it causes me so much anxiety as
well, because I'm like, I haven't felt like this since
like middle school. So for years I've gotten on
social media and just all of a sudden been like, what am I
doing? Like, what am I doing?
This is Real and so it almost like I get can get frustrated
with myself for being on it and not like living life and so for
me it's been a really interesting contradiction in
myself because I want to be doing something that allows me
to kind of have this like freedom of my life and ability
to move if we need to or like all of that.
But I also have the other side of the spectrum that's like I
could probably be more than happy.
Ever touching social media again, so frustrating sometimes.
Yeah, I feel the same way. Like, there is so much to gain
on there, in terms of, like, people have really inspired me.
Like, there's so much information and I do think it's
information overload and bluebies better serve like
reading books and stuff for sure.
But you do get like different perspectives.
If you follow people that you really you intentionally select
you know based on the way they're showing up and the
inspiration. And whatever can be so powerful.
And of course it like, yeah, it's like a great tool for
business, you know, so I feel the same way, but yeah, I do
wish I could like throw my phone out, the window and never see it
again, like, live in the moment all the time and because a big
thing we need to remember is like, we're also looking at,
we're looking at a highlight reel, it doesn't matter.
Like I've tried so hard to like be as real as possible and like
I do believe I shall be an authentic and real way but I
can't do it fully. This is not possible like My
life can't just be every bad thing.
Isn't going to be on that, right?
Like it's also not realistic to do your business.
So we have to remember, we're looking at a highlight reel.
We're looking at curated pieces of people's lives that they've
selected to show. We're looking at filters and,
you know, good angles and good lighting and we have to remember
that like we're not looking really at reality.
That was one of the things that inspired us to even start this
podcast. Because the same thing, you
know, we both have had this discussion since the beginning
of like being authentic and really sharing as much as we can
about our lives. But yeah, the fact of the matter
is, you can't do that on social media and like, you could.
But also, I mean, for Alexis, and I, we also really love
Aesthetics and we really love making things pretty then, and,
you know, life isn't pretty all the time.
And so I'd love like the balance of you have.
I guess it's last. You've definitely experienced
this. It's just when it's more that
raw uncut footage of life and you feel, you really get to know
the people who are speaking, and there's a place for that, and we
can obviously do more of that on social media.
But I, yeah, I completely agree. It's, it's not, it's not real
there. There are two things you said,
or I had two thoughts pop up with something you said, but
following people, intentionally is so important and I I just
really want to highlight that because that was one of the
first steps that I took three years ago on my Instagram.
I just realized that I was going on social media scrolling and
leaving with an icky feeling. And I noticed that the people I
would scroll past, I was judging them for whatever reason, did
that, didn't matter if it was a celebrity or influencer someone
from my hometown, there were just certain accounts that
triggered me from what, for whatever reason and I decided
enough is enough. I'm going to Follow or mute them
if there's somebody that I know personally and it's nothing
against the people ever, it's always a reflection of cell and
so I did work on that these past couple years I'm like what was
it that triggered but re curating it to people that
inspire me that are creative that are sharing cool ideas and
so that's what almost hooks me even more going on socials,
because I'm excited to see what these people are sharing.
They feel like friends, I love their ideas and perspectives,
and so I have positive feelings when I go on social media and
Said of negative ones now, which is beneficial, but also still
need to tear myself away from it.
Yeah. And it's just like a couple
other things we talked about today.
It's like, it's like we have to. Just remember, we have just
remember that these people's lives are probably not quite as
glamorous as it looks online and because aesthetically pleasing
content is more fun to create and it's her forms way better
like, you know what I mean? Like, where we just have to
remind ourselves. That, like, those people have
struggles? They aren't sure.
Ring and like remember when our mind was in 2000, like why is my
life like this? I wish my life was like that.
It's like just coming into what we can be grateful for in here.
Now, you know, and remembering that like so much of the outer
World stuff, it's just it's not going to change our Interstate
the way we think it is you just keep remembering that I feel
like mmm. And then there are a lot of
accounts that I think are doing the best that they can to be
real. I think that is Be real.
I think that's getting to be more mainstream to use less
filters and to talk more candidly and I love it.
And sometimes I come across the videos of crying and things like
that and there's something so funny to me about it because I
did it. I've done it one time where I
was having a tough time and I just wanted to document it for
myself to come back to a week from now, because I knew those
emotions would pass, but there's something about crying and then
whipping out your video, like your phone and recording
yourself. Crying in the moment that also
feels so weird to me and I don't naturally do that.
And so I don't even know how to feel about those quote, real
videos either. It's all very Twisted in my
head. Yeah, and then there's also like
the side of it where when people are creating content that's like
relatability content that's like complaining essentially about
things that are relatable. And it's like how it's like, How
much of that is good, right? Like, yes.
We want to feel like we're not alone in our things and that can
be helpful, but also like we don't want to, why would we
focus on those things, right? While we focus on that aspect of
like marriage or relationships? Like, you know, you could focus
on the bad or the good, you know, and your perspective is
going to dictate your life. So how much of that type of
content should we really be looking at?
It's just a whole mind. Fuck yeah, finding a balance for
yourself. The really the only answer I
think it's like what we've discussed before Carly about
pain points and pain Point marketing.
And that's what most marketing is.
Even for people here that are not on taste that are not on
social media. Whenever you watch an ad and it
pops up on TV, or on YouTube and it says, you have these
problems, we will solve it with this product.
That's pain, Point marketing. They're making you aware of and
think of all the bad things that are happening in your life.
And this thing is going to solve it and I really don't Vibe with
that and Leah I would love for your thoughts on that because in
the coaching world there's like a there's a whole spectrum of
different types of marketing and that I'm sure you are familiar
with, but painful Point marketing just doesn't Vibe with
me like, I want to empower people.
And like you said, why would you focus on the bad when you're
trying to help people feel good? Mmm.
So, I think there's a lot of toxic things that come directly
from the corporate and the corporate sauce.
We bad right? But there is a toxic corporate
world where greed is so hugely. The company I used to work for
was like 1.6 billion dollar company at the time it was run
by a board of directors you know.
So everything was about year-over-year Prophet had to go
up every single year which is not always sustainable and
necessary in any way and just it's very destructive.
That's when we see you know company like Tyson you know
several decades. Ago, whenever they invented
factory, farming, just to get a squeeze another dollar, right?
It's like what the fuck. So, there's a lot of this.
Like, really toxic orbit, money-making mindset, that's
destroying the planet and our lives and and causing inflation.
All these things that people brought into the coaching world,
you know, because that's the society that we're in.
So the coaching World tends to have a lot of that, and a lot of
business coaches. I mean, I used to be a business
coach. Who taught pain Point marketing
for real. So and I was coming from the
corporate look. I was a sales manager.
So like it really fit with what I had done before.
I was teaching sales, I was teaching GoGo whatever a lot of
this like, toxic stuff is in the coaching industry, and I think
people are really starting to pull back from it.
I think people are really starting to see it for what it
is and notice that it's really kind of based on Greed and it's
really not based on helping people, and it's based on like
Sphere or, you know, inspiring people through fear.
I think I think fear is what creates it to it's this fear
that if I don't have enough, if I don't have enough clients then
what will happen if I don't have this or daughter's gonna say
greed is like another word to say lack mentality, like
thinking that if I don't have more than I don't have anything,
there's nothing. I'm not someone who believes
money is wrong. Obviously, money is a beautiful
resource that helps us but like, where does it end like do we
need to have a multimillion-dollar Empire?
To feel worthy, do we even is that even really what we want.
So that has become for me such and it in instant turn off
because there's so many coaches who are still marketing that as
something that they are that they have.
So, I should coach you because I run a multimillion-dollar
company or I just reached, you know, this Milestone and it
worked is still working for them.
M, so great. Like obviously I love, I love
the saying, something about how you know, there's someone for
everybody and as long as they're still there, then that means
people are benefiting from them. And there's they're having this
even exchange but it is. It's become such and kind of
from our personal experiences over the last year.
It's become such a turn-off for me.
I see and I'm like I don't give a flying fuck like how are you
going to help other people Express themselves in?
Like beautiful holistic way. Like, yeah, it's like the ads
you see, or it's like, I help coaches.
I have new coaches, make six figures in their first three
months. It's like, I've enrolled in
those programs. I've hired coaches that were
saying, both have to. Yeah.
And like, it's just not realistic to think that that's a
sustainable thing. And then when you have so much
emphasis on that, like getting to the 10K months, whatever. /,
that's when things start to become unethical because you
resort to sales tactics like the pain Point marketing because
you're trying to push for these results such as are not
realistic. Well, yeah, and for me and I
think Alexis you can say the same thing and Leo probably you
can as well. I don't want to say that people
are doing a wrong thing because like I just said, there's
obviously a need for this still and we're cycling out of old
ways of being. But for me, Going through that
and working with a business coach who has a person, I love
she, she was so sweet and everything but that was very
much her tactic and it just like sucked.
All the life and creativity and inspiration and excitement out
of me because I realized do that, which again happened
exactly how it should have because I would not have come to
this realization that for me, obviously, I desired that
abundance in that way, but I I don't need it.
Like, that's not my I mean like we needed to survive in that
sense, but that's not my driver Factor.
Yes, my driver. It's actually helping people and
expressing my own self and helping other people do the
same. And that was a huge beautiful
lesson that I learned through going through this work with
this woman, who was teaching me that and I don't know.
Everything happens for a reason. Basically is what I'm trying to
say. Yeah, we've talked about About
the, the type of feeling we want to give people and there is
something I heard about. If you picture a ladder, there's
the pain Point marketing. That's I need to show you that
you're at the bottom of the ladder and I'm at the top and
I'm helping you get to where I am because it's way better up
here or there's the hey, your life is perfectly fine and it's
in, you're doing amazing but it can be even better.
Like you are fully self-sustaining, you Don't need
this. Like, I've followed a couple
coaches who really focus on coaching as kind of a luxury
item, like it's a thing that you get to splurge on and it gets to
make you feel good and it gets to put women in your corner to
help build you up. And it's not saying you're in
the pit and I'm pulling you out to rescue you.
It's hey, you're doing amazing. Let's Elevate together and I
really Vibe with that energy so much more.
And I'm not sure if you've experienced can't Boehner like
that? Or a comparison, Leah of like,
those different things, but I've seen that pop up to that
different type of perspective on the marketing.
Yeah, totally. Yeah, the last thing that I like
join was a mastermind where it was actually, like, pay what you
can. And it was really, really
interesting in the whole like it was just this woman who had
previously done much different marketing as well, but was
really shifting into this, like, hey, like I'm maybe it's really
not affordable for urge. Or realistic people to spend ten
thousand dollars every few months for Cody.
Like let me actually hope people and like, a really felt like it
came from that genuine place and she still made money and it was
beautiful. And it's yeah.
We're so I think we're seeing a lot of that in the industry.
People are realizing that there's a lot of really shitty
hustle e, corporate e, tactics being used in an industry that's
supposed to be about helping people.
And hopefully that's changing. Hmm.
Yeah, I love the Chia. We're changing it.
Yeah, we are the change makers. That's the point.
I'm like we all came into this field to help people write like
not to make a million dollars because I love that.
I love it. You're exactly the type of
people we want to have on this podcast.
This is what we're here for and I'm so grateful.
You reached out. I know we're Nearing.
An hour. So I want to make sure that
there's time for you to tell us what you're up to, where we can
find you, how people can work with you and share.
All the good stuff that's happening on your end.
Yeah, absolutely. So my podcast is bare naked
soul, my Instagram is leopardi and what else?
Yeah, pretty much my websites leopardi that cam just type my
name in anywhere. You'll find something and we can
hang out. You can shoot you a DM with
questions about Work. Yeah.
Thank you guys so much for having me do this was such a fun
conversation and like we said before hand, we let our
conversations flow. So a little bit about breath
work and for anyone listening that wants to know a lot more
about breathwork, please go see her podcast.
We will link all of her stuff in the show notes as always.
And if you loved this episode, we'd love a rating and review
from you and feel free to reach out via DM, anytime we love to
talk. If you can Get tell Carly and I
like to talk and but anyway we're so grateful for all of you
listening and gratefully out for popping on with us today.
And we will be with you next week.
Goodbye. I