Welcome back to another episode of the Let It Flow podcast.
We're so excited. We are here with Laura.
She was one of our trainers actually and one of the first
people that we met on our coaching Journey.
So she's the one that introduced an LP and certified Us in like
and success coaching. And I've just always loved her
energy. Carly.
I know you do too. Yeah.
And very much do I could listen Into her talk forever.
She has the most relaxing voice. So, you're in for a treat, here
is a little intro to Cara. She is a certified master and
trainer of NLP, hypnosis EFT and time techniques.
She is certified in somatic embodied processing holds.
A first-class be a honors degree in social sciences and Community
Development and has years of experience training and
certifying coaches in her one-on-one practice.
She helps Powerhouse women achieve more without all the
stress and ID and overwhelm. She works with her clients to
let go of subconscious blocks, and invite more joy, ease and
freedom into their lives and businesses through nervous
system. Regulation somatic, practices
and subconscious reprogramming. She helps her clients release,
the shoulds that field raining work through internal triggers
around worthiness and allow more of their unfiltered truth and
Essence into their work. So, welcome Cara.
How are you? Hey, I'm excited.
I'm I've been waiting for this day to be on.
You guys is podcasts. So I'm happy to be here because,
yeah, it's been like the third reschedule.
Sorry, I really know it. It is all good.
We're so excited to have you here today to talk about
everything that you stand for, and it's a lot of embodiment
practice, right? And we were a part of your
sacred. Yes.
Program, back in this past summer, I think and I love that
the amount of That happen within me and just 4 weeks was
incredible. Wow.
I was just so grateful to have you guys on especially as I
think Alexis you were on at like 4 a.m. your time.
You woke up every Saturday for four weeks for am to be there.
And now it's so good to hear that.
It really, really helped you. And a lot of the work that I
mean, when we will probably get into it, Bob you mentioned about
embodiment because when I first started into the coaching space,
It was very much about what I was very much into the whole
mindset thing. And I know that under they're
not separate, they all feed into each other.
But as I've gone, along my journey, I realized the
importance of the semantics and the body and the nervous system
and all those other things and how they all work together.
So yeah, sacred yes. Was all about using your voice
and that all comes down to the nervous system as well.
And the fear that a lot of us have to speak up to share our
truth and to Really connect to the truth of who we are and let
that be expressed through us. I know, from my story, this has
been one of the most difficult things for me, you know, a
challenge that I had was even just being able to use my voice
and believe that people cared what I had to say.
And that there was any value in what I had to say.
So that was a journey. And a lot of the women that I
work with, who struggle with that, they, they experience it
in their body and they try to outthink it, but usually, it's
because of something. That happened, maybe in
childhood or early life where they were shut down.
And as a result, their body went into that kind of like shocked
essentially and then it's like imprinted into their body.
That when I use my voice, people will shut me down or I will be
judged or rejected. And, and then a lot of times
were told, you know, just speak up.
Just be your authentic self and just go for it, and it doesn't
always work like that when there's an imprint and there's a
somatic. Rents that is impacting your
behavior. Well, I think I'm going to tag
along on that and just say one of the you've heard me tell you
this so many times Cara like what really struck me with you
was your embodiment flows and how powerful those are because I
think the mindset community in a personal growth Community.
We're beginning to move more into the body again but I think
Society in general has been so we've all been so up in our
heads for a couple centuries. Now I want to say probably like
at least for sure that half the Centre like with the Industrial
Revolution and everything it just everything happens in the
head and so it's taken a while for us to connect back to the
body and I love what you said about, even if you logically
know something, if your body doesn't believe it, if there's
something still stuck in your body, you can know all you can
know. But it's still going to be kind
of the underlying Control of how you live your life.
Mmm. Yeah.
And I think I always do the example comes to me of when say,
someone went into the deceive, right?
And they had a really scary experience of a shock or
something and then they come out.
And then a couple weeks later, you tell them the Seas safe,
like you have a limiting belief that the sea is dangerous.
Just get back in there and swim and it's beautiful and the sun
just look how the Sun is on his, right?
No matter how many affirmations that person does write as much
as affirmations can be. Powerful.
If they've had that lived experience that has imprinted
that, something isn't safe, then they have to work through that
within their body, right? Because the mind and the body
are then disconnected and we have a lot.
We are do we live in a disembodied State?
Because what always on the go. And I think because we're very
much just always trying to achieve which I always say isn't
a bad thing but we get into that mind energy of.
Just how do I make it happen? What do I need to do?
Almost like how body is a hindrance, the fact that your
body needs rest or water, or it's like that's annoying
because it's stopping me from doing the things that we do I
want to do. But really working with the body
is going to feed into your ability to do all the things
that you want to do and also takes away.
A lot of the shame that sometimes the Mind blaming the
mindset can have because, for example, going back to that
analogy of the person in the, see if we then say you just have
a limiting belief. Come on you need to snap out of
it. You need to Change your beliefs
that can create a lot of blame within that person because we're
not understanding that they've had an experience.
So I think, when we start with personal development mindset is
a great place to start because a lot of times am I working on the
mindset shifts? A lot of things but then it will
start to bring up a lot of things that are in the body.
And that's when it's like, okay great, let's work with some of
the things that might be stored the energy, the emotions that we
never process because we always on the go and we're not taught
how to Is this our emotions? And yeah and then we'll feel
like there's a little bit more of a release and a relief.
And also a lot less shame of blaming ourselves all the time
and telling ourselves that we are.
The reason why everything is not how we want it to be because
that we have the power to shift it.
But also, we've got understand what might have fed into us
being here right now. We can always change the future
but understanding that there's things that also So lived
experiences that impact your behaviors and that is how it is.
It's just one hardwired for that.
Yeah, there's a lot of messaging and coaching and spiritual
coaching and manifestation of you need to match the energy of
what you want to attract, which is true.
But then if you do have that lived experience, you saw the
Shark in the Water, you experienced that traumatic
event, and you're like, okay, I'm just supposed to forget it,
forget that that happened. And that's in the past, and it's
all a mad, like, in Imagination. And I'm just supposed to let it
go now but you've been reliving it in your head over and over
because that's your fear. So instead of just experiencing
the shark once you've experienced it thousands of
times in your head and that also builds up in your mind and I can
see where that gets can bring on the self-blame of I'm not
manifesting what I want because I'm holding on to this thing and
I don't want it anymore but I don't even know how to let it
go. And I feel shitty about it and I
don't even know where to start and then there's that
helplessness feeling of Of, where do I go from here?
Hmm. Yeah, exactly.
And the thing is like, with that manifestation like I believe we
all have the power to, but I think that there's just if you
do feel like something is continuously stopping you, then
it's like what's deeper Beyond? Just saying the thing or trying
to do all the mindset work, there may be something living in
the body that is asking. You to see it.
I always say as well, these things aren't anything that we
have even things like, anxiety, that feeling is just an energy
that trying to tell you something.
So it really is just about listening to it.
Understanding it a bit more and it got going back to shame as
well. Like, we certain emotions, we
put in a bracket as of these are bad and we need to always be
high Vibe and high energy and positive, right?
But the more we allow space. And no longer demonize certain
emotions, then we don't see them as bad, then we let them process
and let them do their thing. Let them say to us what they
need to say, and they will move through the body, but a lot of
times we don't complete the cycle.
We just stay in that kind of like stress response because we
never let the energy or the emotion process.
So learning how to work with our emotions is actually going to
clear, clear, some of that energy in the body.
So So that we can manifest the things that we want and be in
the mindset and a frame of mine, but I think we try to skip that
step. Why?
Like, you know, we skip to the positive mindset.
When we haven't worked through some of the emotions that are
staying stagnant. Yeah.
Well and it's interesting too because it's not easy it's not
it kind of really sounds like yeah for real I would nauseous.
I was going to say that I loved how you were using they when
talking about emotions and kind of talking the third person
because I wanted the things, I know that's helped me a lot.
Understand myself, better and work through things that come up
is Detaching myself from the fact that the emotions are
defining who I am or defining my experience, and not like
ignoring them, that's something, completely different.
But being able to kind of take that larger perspective and be
like, oh wow, this anxiety is coming up.
Interesting, what is this about? What is this telling me our oh
wow, that person really pissed me off, like, oh my god, when I
was in Rome, we were getting a taxi for Bond.
And this guy was just being so rude to me.
And luckily, you know, I speaking of a time that I could
kind of, you know, hold my own a little bit, I was perfectly
fine, but he really made me mad and I took a minute after that
happened and I was like, okay, wow, what about that?
Really made me frustrated and doing that?
It allows you in my opinion to really notice how you're
interacting Actions with people like, yeah, he could have been
nicer, you know, but it's more about your perspective and how
you were interacting with your world around you, which really
can be hard to admit, but it's also so empowering so empowering
and then it gives you the tools to like through and I'll pee
through embodiment flows through so many things to use those to
grow. Yeah.
Because what am I you said about feeling frustrated?
It's like think about when were younger and just how many
emotions are just shot down. It's like, Just stop, don't be
angry. Don't cry.
Don't this this this and then when were adults the reason why
we like, for example seeing that out, you are frustrated rather
than you were able to see it and experience it for the moment.
Instead of thinking I'm about, this is bad and that's what I
mean about. Like the meaning that we place
on emotions, it's like, I'm angry.
This is really bad. I'm just an angry person.
I need to be more positive, or I'm frustrated.
This is bad. I need to get high.
If there's moments where is going to be, it's going to help
you to just shift quickly out of it and not just dwell on it, but
it's also about once we just see them as just the emotions that
just need to have a moment like then you can move through them.
And then I think what happens is when we suppress them we
actually still live out of them but we don't think we are.
We think that were no longer frustrated or no longer but what
we're living out of this caged up like emotions that We never
let free and sometimes it's about letting it free in the
most healthy contained way. Like if you have anger or
frustration, it's like, how can you let that move through your
body? Whether it be, for example,
embodiment flows, or some sort of embodied movement, to let it
release. You're not going to necessarily
punch someone in the face. You're going to go and do it in
your own time. But, you know, that's just an
example of not letting it stay stuck, if it needs to just move
Yeah, I think about little kids and how naturally they just they
scream or they cry or they throw something and they just do it.
They don't care. And I know you have a little one
at me though is that we have this were born with this innate
knowing that we matter like he knows his cries my eye when he's
hungry. It matters when he's sad, it
matters. And then somewhere along life we
we get that taken away from us and we no longer believe our
need matter. Ow.
Even to the point where we internalize that and we neglect
and ignore our own needs because we some how get programmed to
believe that it doesn't matter. But yeah, he's taught me that
when you come into this world you just think I'm here for my
needs to be met and it's so interesting seeing it.
My mom was talks about it as like babies are like baby of any
creature is very similar. There are what's the word the
concept of When everything revolves around you and
everything is like, you need everything.
And then such an example of two, just like that circle of life
and how we in a natural and open way not how our society has done
it. But it's like that circle of
life, you know? Like and it's normal and it's
how we learn and really create relationships but so much of
that is just stomped on some How like you said somewhere along
the way and I think it's probably different a little bit
on where it happens, / culture, but it's like, when did that
start? This question, I have that's
been lingering kind of goes along with that.
And I'd love to ask you cara, because before this, I asked you
your human design and you said you're a 46 sacral generator.
And it's okay. You don't have to know all the
details of what that means. But the 46 Is the archetype of
the influencer and the details of that mean that you attract
Community naturally. That's the for, it's the social
and just people being drawn to your insights and wanting to ask
you questions, like, just knowing that you have something
that they can benefit from and they might see you as someone
with guidance. And then the six Carly has a six
in her profile and that one changes every 30 years.
So it actually operates as a three through the first 30 years
of your life where you're Just trying a whole bunch of things
and learning and it's like, pick up a hobby.
Do I like it? Do I not put it down like fail?
Pick up, keep going, try and learn and so then the four and
six interact with like you have all of this experience and
people are drawn to learn from you through that experience.
So I'd love to know what was kind of your turning point.
I think, you know where this question is going like, where
you found out that? I guess these somatic practice
has helped so much or that you Something to release or what,
what happened? That got you on to this journey
and specifically these techniques that you use?
Hmm, good question. And first of all, I resonate to
the whole picking up a hobby, dropping it feeling like I'm
failing, like, I don't know what to do with my life.
I was like the first hole, probably 30 years to be honest
of my life. I did like hair was really good
at, like, camera and hair and stuff.
Then I went into a deny just under so many different things
to be honest. So yeah, that was, that was a
little HD reading there for me. I think I got to the point where
I was trying to fix myself so much and it just was like, every
time, something else came up. I was like, I've tried to fix
this. I've tried to do mindset work,
I'm always seeking the answers. I'm always looking for a savior
and always looking for someone to tell me, this is how you are
going to be. This perfect human because my
perfectionism was coming into my self development.
It was like, I need to get to this perfect place and then I'll
be valuable and I will have important things to say and
people will learn from it. Like, you know what you're
saying, about the profile. I didn't see that in myself at
all. I'm more.
Sorry, as I have to get to a certain point like a pedestal
that I had everyone else on. I was waiting for the day, I got
there so that I could be valuable.
And then I actually it was Tori. Washington, actually she's on
Instagram. She does a lot of like
embodiment stuff around money and that's the first time when I
really started thinking, wow, so money isn't just about your
thoughts about your nervous system, your generational
trauma, and I thought about my generational Trauma from like my
lineage of how hard my my ancestors had to work too, you
know. How much pain and suffering was
in the work and how that can impact a nervous system?
And then the generational impacts of the nervous system
that never felt safe. I thought.
Wow, definitely I can see why I would, you know, that might that
might have impacted me and how I feel when I go to use my voice
or how much I believe, I have to work so hard to prove myself and
all of those things. And yeah, then I started doing
some different flows and things like that and I was like, yeah,
this is something. This gives me something that the
mindset work alone didn't give me.
I was at a point I'd done like years of mindset work and I was
just like, but the thing is, it was more about.
I was tired of feeling like I am problematic and I need fixing
the big, big thing for me, has been on a shaming, my emotions
and not seeing them as something that I need.
To fix because it's just so freeing doesn't mean we, you
know, just I always have this conversation with some of my
family that don't get it. They're always like, you can't
just express your emotions in every moment and I'm like,
that's not what I'm trying to say.
I'm not saying just Do you just do whatever you want.
But yeah that's how I got into this somatic work and working
with my nervous system because as well, I was living out of
anxiety. I would wake up every morning.
I Like this pit got feeling in my stomach.
I would feel like I need to be proactive and need to be
productive. I would feel really guilty when
I was resting. I'd feel really bad if I wasn't
doing things and it became so tiring to live out of that hyper
aroused State. And that wasn't just the mind,
there was definitely beliefs in there.
But that was because my nervous system was constantly in a state
of hyper arousal. And I never knew how to shut
down my body stress response. It's wind down and down
regulate. So then I was never regulated so
I hope that answers your question.
But yeah, it was through that. It was actually also through
learning because I'm, I think, education can be empowering and
itself, not just tools and techniques, but understanding
something, and then really letting that sink in it just
gives you the awareness that you didn't have before and then you
start to understand your body a bit more and then you're not
trying to always Fix things through my network, you're
trying to listen to your body. You'll note like for example,
that anxiety is like I notice it now.
I notice it, I see it. I feel it.
I know where it is in my body, whereas before I just try to
push through push through the exhausted and push through the
anxiety. So I don't know if there was a
specific moment but I think it was more through.
Yeah, Finding Dory Washington and them learning more about the
nervous system and then I just went into a rabbit hole and was
like, I love this stuff. This is exactly what I've been
looking for. So generator of you.
Yeah, yeah, doing what lights you up and I really want to see
your whole chart actually because some of the things you
said in there, I was like, that's identity Center.
That's the willpower Center. I'm like, ooh, I would love to
see the whole thing but that Sacred Book of reading with you,
Alexis would love it. Carly and I are both going
through training right now, so he's like eight weeks ahead.
Me those. Yeah, yeah, I'm obsessed with
it. Human design has been that
rabbit hole for me but that sacral, since your generator
cycle generator, I know that's defined and the, the not sell
for the misaligned. The move.
That is a, my dedicating my energy to things that actually
matter, or am I like spreading it out?
Like, do I know when enough is enough?
And so that's very much what you described with having that
anxiety and just like, not knowing, And like overexerting
yourself and yeah. So very, very interesting.
I think with Jenna is, as well as in it, that you will know.
When something isn't letting you up, you're supposed to follow
the path of your joy, which I wasn't doing.
And it was depleting me. Completely trying to put my
energy into things that don't don't feel me and then I would
just go through life feeling just completely drained.
So, now, I'm very aware of what I say.
Yes to What type of like, for example, if I'm going to do a
program a group program or teach something it's like, does this
like me up? Is this something I want to do
otherwise at the end of it, I'm just going to feel like I poured
from an empty cup. So even listening to what lights
you up, takes takes you starting to know yourself a bit more and
four. Generators.
The descriptive terms are like glittery, like you think light
and bright and magnetic and generators are meant to respond
to things. So you Naturally bring the
opportunities to you and being a 46.
Like the community that is meant to hear from.
You is just going to come to you.
And you might not know where they come from, they might fall
out of the sky. They might say hi to
supermarket. But, like you're drawing these
people to you, and they don't even know why they're talking to
you. But that you have something that
is attracting them and then it's up to you to say yes, no, yes,
no. And follow that.
Hell, yes. Because when you're doing things
that you really love, it gives you more energy to keep doing
it. Yeah, definitely I definitely
feel that. It's like that.
Sacral it like I know when it's a no and it's just about me
listening to it because sometimes I get, I've ignored it
before and it's never ends up. Well, it's like follow that.
Sacral got know that you get immediately.
I get it. I sense it.
And soon as I ignore it is almost like, I forget that.
I felt it. That's how quick it comes and
goes. So it's like you have a split
second almost to choose Used to listen to it, because if I
ignore it, I I forget that it ever told me know until it's
till it's late and I'm like, oh yeah, should have listened.
Looks what's happening now? I'm like oh yeah, I remember my
body. Telling me something about this.
It's so funny because no matter what type you are in human
design. I think everyone can agree that
you've had an experience where something happens in your like I
knew Ooh it. I knew that was a bad idea.
I knew that was going to happen and that's when you're not
following whatever Authority you have.
There's I think seven different authorities that somebody could
have but it's always that feeling like ah I should have
listened but yeah sometimes you don't and that's okay.
And you're supposed to experience those parts to
because that teaches you again and brings you back it, expands
something in you. But I think everything that is a
challenge and a regret or something that you thought, I
shouldn't have done that. When you look back, Can you
think about what expanded in you it was meant to be?
It was meant to expand that thing, whatever lesson, whatever
growth you've got from the lesson, you wouldn't have got
without it, so then you're like, okay, the universe still do this
thing regardless? Yeah, I relate to that so much.
Just this past year. And I know I speak of my
authority. I'm emotional thority in human
design, and I'm really learning how that works for me.
And For me, I'm seeing it right now.
Is like, I am so easily hyped up and so easily excitable and if I
say yes, in that excitement and I don't ride out, the kind of
wave of my emotions. Same, even it's like even if it
would have been the right decision, if I don't write it
out through that, I can always question, I always questioned it
like oh shoot did I just get excited for it and I would say
like this past year was a little bit of that.
Like I don't regret what doing the training.
I don't regret any of it. Because I learned so much and I
know it's coming back around and I know knowing a tool like NLP,
is it mean it really truly has changed the way that I
communicate with people and also communicate with myself, but I
really very much like, Alexis at the beginning of the year you
were here and I think I was excited about It it, but it was,
it's my energy. I feel like it's kind of fluid
like that, like, I just kind of like, oh, got excited with you.
And then it was like, oh, like big and beautiful, and exciting.
And I said, yes. And I loved it, but then
actually, I can kind of Pinpoint.
When you hosted your sacred? Yes, it was the first time that
I had taken a breath almost. And been like, what have I been
doing this year? So far, learning so much
knowledge is like, you never regret gaining knowledge because
knowledge is amazing, but I had that was when I started
realizing I had been Kind of forcing things and forcing
myself expression into kind of like a one little Street and
that kind of, yeah, I thought that was kind of the start, the
shift of my awareness, a little bit, and the last, like, six
months, especially of last year, it was kind of like whoa.
And it really made me realize that like it's so important to
take those moments too. Breathe and to just be still.
And I think this also depends on your design a little bit to, for
me, as an emotional Authority. Like it's very important for me
to be still and for me meditation really helps, but for
another person, it could be something else because I am.
I'm so easily hyped and so easily like, oh yes, what are we
doing? What are we doing?
And then realized, wow, I had completely ignored parts of
myself and there were things in my body that were still not
being addressed. Just Mmm.
What do you do now to what does the emotional wave look like as
in do sleep on it? Or what do you have to do to
honestly, I'm still figuring it out.
It's like I mean sometimes big decisions we've laughed about
this Alexis and I but like sometimes it can be like up to a
week like I just big things. I just really need to sit on
them and really have that natural flow and I'm learning.
And I had a reading done last year and she said for a lot of
emotional authorities, plus I'm a manifest and manifest.
There's also have this like natural flow as well when they
are super creative and like inspired and downloading and
then you have to rest. And so the emotional on top of
that she's like sometimes people find that their cycle is two
weeks and so I'm really figuring that out but it's like fine.
In that level of neutrality, where I'm not super attached to
it anymore, like it's still kind of excites me, but it's not like
taking me over if that makes sense.
Mmm, so interesting because as everyone has different ways,
don't man, it is really about us, learning our own weight in
order for us. That's going back to when we all
have done it, right. We've all just sort education
all the time and wanted so So much information which is great.
But then getting to know yourself is a self job.
Like it's an internal job. It's really there is no workbook
that just makes you. Oh I know myself.
Now I know that I need to and it comes from making mistakes,
quote, unquote, mistakes and quote unquote, feeling and doing
things that you kind of regret for you to realize.
So for you to really go back and know that How can I do it
differently or how can I follow my truth more?
How can I listen to my gut? And my instinct and it's a
journey. Yeah, and I've been telling
people kind of laughing about it, but I'm like, no, seriously,
the last few months specifically, I'm like, I am in
self-study. I am literally studying myself
and that is the most invaluable Priceless thing that we can do.
And it's, again, it's not easy, and it looks different for
everybody. And having the tools that we've
all been talking about are so so important because it can be
really like you gotta go into the kind of the dark depths of
who you are and work it out that way, but it's beautiful.
And then you understand so much more how you interact with the
world and interact with choices, that arise interact with other
people. But yeah, it's hard to do
because in our society T. We are taught to go do it.
Oh, what papers do you have to your name?
What are you doing? What are you making?
Are you like full? Well, this questions.
But truly the most invaluable thing is something that nobody
else can see. They can see the after effects
kind of of it. But all of that work inside, you
don't others, don't know. No one will ever know.
You can maybe understand what a person's going through if
they're in that time as well, if you've done it as well.
But it's yeah, it can be tough but it's so beautiful.
Yeah. And so with it.
Yes, it really is, there's a million different techniques.
And I've been in a learning phase the past year and absorb
so much information. I'm constantly reading, I just
opened a workbook on ayurveda as if I need another topic to dive
down the rabbit hole on. But what What would you suggest
to somebody that's interested in getting into these somatic
techniques? Maybe they've read a bunch of
mindset books there in that phase of, I'm reading all this
stuff. But nothing is happening for me
and I'm ready to try something new.
Of course, they can work with you directly or hire a coach or
invest themselves in that way. But if somebody were just alone
in their bedroom like me right now, what could I do after this
call, that would be beneficial to me or be a good place to
start. Well, I think introducing just
movement, however, your body wants to move.
It could be like feel how you're feeling if you can not everyone
can immediately connect to the senses of the body because we've
been so disconnected for so long.
But I would say in the most loving gentle and non-judgmental
way, just start to. I think that means come out for
me here which is, first of all, what are you believing these
fixing about you? Because a lot of times, I guess,
what energy are you going about the mindset work from initially,
because NLP and everything? I love mindset works, I don't
want it to seem like I don't, it's just what energy are you
going about it from? If you feel like you are
constantly seeking to be fixed, really identify that?
What is it that you're telling yourself about yourself that
needs fixing? Because that's always good.
You're never going to feel like you get the answers if you're
always seeking more answers, that's why Always going to be
studying the next course, and buying the next thing and did it
at, right? So as a, as a, you know, these
things that we do on their own, there's nothing wrong with them,
it's more about understanding what's driving it.
So if there's a drive that you're always going to need
fixing and who you are is not enough, then nothing's ever
going to be enough, right? So start with that because that
is kind of mindset work. Then start to just bring
awareness to how you feel sometimes and then bring in some
more. Movement.
So you're feeling frustrated, how would, if that frustration?
This is the part of and shaming, right?
If that frustration, you didn't see it as bad, right?
And you uncensored it, because shame sensors.
Shame says, we can only do this in a small way.
Don't move too much. Don't, listen, how would it want
to just move through your body and just give yourself even 1
minute 2 minutes, just to let whatever your body is feeling.
Do its thing. Even if you're feeling like
stressed or sad, or just let that emotion connect to it, and
move, and bring in some movement in your life, whether it be
dancing, or just whatever, I let your body do its thing for
about. I think that's the place to
start awareness. And then, I would say after that
start to understand a little bit about the nervous system and
what your window of tolerances, meaning know, once you start to
learn Learn about it. Your capacity is when you meet,
when you get to the threshold, right?
And then you go into a hyper aroused State, you start, you
know, what's going on. So, instead of ignoring it now,
you know, I'm at my capacity, how can I return to safety?
So it's all about safety, bringing in a sense of safety.
So, when you feel that anxiety or you feel that you're at your
threshold reminding yourself. That is safe, I'm safe and doing
whatever. Ever, you need in that moment to
bring yourself back to a safety, a feeling of safety, it doesn't,
you know, it takes a little bit of practice and it's an ongoing
thing, but whenever were in those hyper arousal States is
all about, we don't feel safe. We feel like we need to get to
that next thing. We need to get to that next
achievement because something was like we're running away from
a bear. Like we're running to something,
your body needs to know it's safe.
So small things too and you don't have to do big massive
practices it's reminding your body incremental, small things
which increases the window of tolerance so that you know.
Okay. Oh I can return to safety.
I'm not always going to have to be in the threshold and on the
edge of my window of Tolerance. I can come back to safety.
Hopewell, what I find so funny that people don't talk about
more is that there's so many tools.
Tools out there. And when you're learning about
that you might want to try them all and stack them all up, and
put them all into your morning routine, all into your evening
routine and I want to use crystals.
I need to meditate, I need to do everything.
And so many people are doing things that they absolutely
hate. And I compare this to the gym
because I found a love of weightlifting and that's the
type of exercise I love and I still felt like I need to do the
StairMaster everyday. I need to run.
I need to do x y z and That would make me hate going to the
gym. So therefore I wouldn't move at
all because I was trying to force myself to do movement that
I hate and I think as the same advice, I would give to somebody
for all of these practices to just do what resonates with you
do what you love and they can and will change over time.
And I personally have not gotten super into yoga.
I did, when I was in Italy, I loved it with Carly and then I
came home and I kind of dropped off of it again.
And that's okay, not shaming Myself by saying man, I'm a
failure. Because I didn't get up and do
yoga this morning and I'm finding the practices that work
for me instead of forcing myself and making myself hate the
process anyway. Like enjoy the journey.
Yeah, I think that's so key. Is she?
Because again, when it comes to doing all of these practices,
were probably doing it from that need to always achieve and we
bring it into. I need to do 10-step, do I need
to do EFT? And then I need to do meditation
then yoga, then Pilates. And that drive achieve energy
goes into that now, and then it's a force.
So learning your body means you start to learn what your body
likes, what it doesn't like what helps?
What doesn't help someone like might really like breathwork.
Someone, might not someone might not even like meditating because
if you are, if your nervous system doesn't feel safe in
Stillness, something like meditation can be triggering.
So, it's about again, knowing what your nervous system can
handle. Handle what capacity has and
easing it into different things and learning what your body
likes and what it doesn't like. So I think that's such a good
point because the more, if you force yourself to do something
that you don't want to do, because you think you should do
it and it's going to just drain you and deplete you again,
anything when it comes to rest and restoration and restoring
your nervous system back to safety, it can be anything that
rejuvenates your mind-body resources so that can be going
for a walk that can be just whatever.
But it doesn't need to be one thing.
It really is about restoring a sense of safety and restoring
your mind-body resources. However, that looks to you and
your body trust in your body. Literally, sometimes during the
day, I will just like do forward, fold.
Just like stand up and leaned over and put my head towards my
feet, just that alone. Sometimes for me can completely
shift my mood and shift my state of being and I wanted to say as
well that some people are made to have the same routine for an
insane amount of time. I have found, I am not that
person. And I have realized from me,
what is so helpful to just block out time that I know is my time
to spend on myself and right lately, it's been looking like
meditating but I could not meditate three years ago it Yes,
I don't know. There's also a bunch of
different types of meditation and that's something I learned
for a while. I thought meditation was just
like, literally the only thing way to meditate was to sit
cross-legged and like, close your eyes and just likes it and
that's a type of meditation to. But there's so many different
tools that have something interests.
You. There's probably so many even
things below that that like the Tree.
You know that goes down with the roots.
And so for me right now, my meditation is looking like using
Amala and I just repeat a mantra and that's so helpful for me
because I'm also sometimes too when you're sitting or even
doing any exercise or anything to help regulate your system, it
can be like, okay when when am I done like when am I done?
So for me having that like one necklace worth of beads and
Mantra repeats is so helpful. And I also think that we make it
so complicated like, yeah, just putting on a song, you like and
moving your body. Like, that's kind of what I
Envision that embodiment flow being.
And I remember one of the first times that I went and was just
called, I was called to dance in my room alone to a song, I
really loved and it was fascinating.
This is going to turn into kind of a question for you cara but
it was fascinating how my body wanted.
Move and I was completely alone but this like Shane came up like
embarrassment of like just like literally like moving my hips
back and forth and I think so many of us and I'm sure men have
it too but I think women especially moving that hips
moving that sacral creative Center can be like there's just
a lot of potential shame around that and how would you suggest
to work through that? That is been a big thing for me
and still is still ongoing even with the somatic practices that
I do. When it comes to the sacral and
that kind of movement, there's still that tendency that comes
up to censor it. This is too much.
You know, I think for me personally, it came out well for
women. Yeah, it really is, there's a
lot of Shame for me. It came from I guess growing up
in like the Jen, that tells you that those things are bad and
sort of can make you feel disconnected from your, your
creative Sexual Energy and all of that.
And as I've been saying it's about, just gradually, like
there is no if you struggle in to like, move your hips, that's
okay. Just ease into it a little bit.
And I think this even comes down to pleasure and how I'm
Comfortable. We are to feel just joy and fun
and freedom and creative expression.
And I just put for me, one of my practices to work through that
was putting on like what you said, putting on some music and
just intentionally moving and moving my hips and letting them
do what they do. And the more I did that the more
relaxed and free, I came with it but it is just making it almost
like a practice, not of regimented practice that Have to
do but oh get like in the middle of your day you've had been
working for a few hours, get out of move those hips.
Let like and experience, even experienced what's coming up in
your body if there is that shame and cow, can you move through it
and bring in a little bit more of that relaxation and freedom
as you do but I think it comes gradually bit by bit.
Oh access you look like you need to say something.
No I'm just absorbing Having me because I shared a tick tock
yesterday about a conversation. I had with a ten-year-old,
looked at my Tick Tock and said, why don't you dance in your
videos? That's it.
It was just the most obvious thing to her.
She's like, Tick-Tock is for dancing and there's a lot of
dancing on there. And there's two things with this
whole conversation that really struck me because I said to her
I don't really know. I just don't dance.
I never have danced. I grew up with fell.
People that dance really close to their bodies or the dad move
dancing and people jokingly making fun of people like you
can't dance unless you're on the dance team.
You can't dance. It was it's not a very cultural
thing like in the midwest like I don't know many people that
dance naturally. There's a countable amount of
people that I think can that just naturally do it and I just
didn't grow up in a family like that.
So I don't dance on my Tick Tock, and I would like to start
now that you're saying this, as silly as some of those dances
are, I feel like that would really push my comfort zone and
another small tent tangent. I watch Dancing with the Stars
this year and I was just so lit up by watching them move and
just kept feeling. I wish I could dance that way
and that's kind of a jealousy. Mm assign an emotional sign in
me that that's Think I might want to do or try and there's
really no such thing as bad dancing, because dancing is just
movement, and I don't know, we've put labels on what good
and bad dancing is, but I definitely know that that is
uncomfortable for me. We have another coaching friend
who puts dance into all of her programs and every time she
starts a call, she plays music and makes everybody stand up and
move. And I feel really clunky and
uncomfortable when she makes us do.
Do that and I have that thought my head like pin, is this going
to end when can I stop flailing my arms around?
I don't like it and I just want to get more comfortable with it,
but it's funny. I just I feel this like laughter
because it's such a silly thing to make a big deal about.
But and I think what you said that as well as like movement
and dance can be to set their the same thing, but for anyone
who's like I don't want to do it because I On Dance.
It's like starting with movement because there is no right or
wrong to movement. I don't I don't go on Instagram
and even though I called myself embodiment coach or so my coach
I don't go on Instagram and do that stuff, only because it just
doesn't feel authentic to me to be on Instagram, doing that.
But again, it's like finding what is your authentic way to do
it, whether it be that you do want to just do it in your room
and do it in your free time or if you do want to do on
Tick-Tock or whatever it is. Yeah, I think we can be so
uptight can't. We just so like everything.
So serious. That's something I always.
So, again, learning and have lamp because I didn't feel like
fun had a place in my life. Like, what is the purpose of
this? Is it going to get me where I
need to go? Is it productive?
Am I getting anything out of this?
So even that fun element we shut down so much, and if you find it
fun, Then great, if you don't find it, funny you don't want to
be on ticked up doctor but if you find it fun and it's like,
allowing the fun to just be expressed a little room, you
know. Yeah, I had a coaching call a
while back with a friend actually.
And she loves expressing herself through photography and she does
it now as her side gig loves it, and during that coaching call
she about was going to sell ER camera.
She had it prepared to just sell it because she felt it was a
waste of time and I kind of dug into that.
I'm like, well what makes it a waste of time?
She goes. Well, I'm not a photographer and
I said, you take photos, don't you?
She's like, yeah, well, I guess but I'm not a photographer and I
googled the definition of photographer for her and I said,
I person who takes photos and I'm like, girl, you are a
photographer and you love doing it.
Why are you selling your camera? And she said that she had Idea
in her head that I think a lot of us do that.
If something were doing or a hobby isn't making us money,
it's a waste of time. I think that's a huge cultural
thing in the US for sure. But then also on social media,
whoever you follow, everyone's making their side gigs and their
personalities into monetary achievements and monetary like
sources, like sources of income from what they're doing and
they're, they're having fun doing it, but it's not just a
hobby for the sake of having A hobby and I think that's hard to
find. If you ask me what my hobbies
are. I don't know.
I don't really know. But I would say yeah I'm the
same you know for me my fun is things that people wouldn't find
fun. Like I really enjoy getting a
massage like to meet one. Like I find it fun like to go to
the massage face and no one needs to force me to go there.
I'm like I had a really fun morning or just sing I sing and
just things like that, I don't have a hobby.
That would be seen as a hobby. Like, I play.
My sister plays football for us up, while you guys call it
soccer. And I'm the only one in the
family that didn't have something like that.
And I was like, I just don't know how to have fun, but my fan
just looked a bit different and I think that's okay too.
And when it comes to Hobbies, it's even out expanding our
capacity for fun to see that it doesn't always have to have an
outcome. Come or a goal or a purpose for
it. It's literally for the enjoyment
of the self and that in itself is a good enough.
But if you enjoy it, even if you're not good at it, if you
love painting and just do it because the energy that it will
bring will actually probably fuel a lot of your creativity
and other things that feed into what you you do anyway.
And even if it doesn't, you just had fun.
As I don't think finally something we value You at all.
I love that definition. Yeah.
This is a message that's very near and dear to my heart
because I'm kind of, I'm kind of the opposite.
I have like an endless abundance of hobbies.
I don't know what to do with in like my dream for years and
years and years. Since I remember the thought of
working for someone has always just like uh, What.
Oh, But and I've always, I've always envisioned myself turning
my hobbies into like a form of income.
And I realized big time this year that like I I don't I'm not
saying that that's not possible but it's for me.
Very important for me to really be aware of the intention with
which I do that because I realized that I seen this
pattern of myself when I Turn to try to monetize things, it just
kills it. And so I realized that my
intention, my true intention. My natural inclination is impact
and whatever I do impact for first of all myself, because I
also think that if we're not expressing the truth, for of who
we are for first and foremost ourselves, then it's still not
quite there. And then that doing That they'll
naturally impacts others and changing that mentality and it
still comes up in me. But making sure that when I go
and start Church to do something that my attention is impact in,
whatever I'm doing, and money is obviously important, but it's
not the driving Factor has helped me so much but that was
really hard to admit and I can't tell everyone that yet like oh
my God if I were to tell my dad, that okay.
Thank you, spoiled brat like what we're doing.
But I mean, I also am so excited because I've had so many
conversations like this with people in the past couple years.
And I do think that Society is changing and we are lucky enough
to be in a society. However, many problems it has.
We are also blessed in the fact that there are so many options
for us today. So many ways to, you know, do
more than just Survive. And I think sometimes we can,
like feel guilty for that and feel like we need to.
I know this is something I've gone through.
I realized like, I, for a while, had this idea that I needed to
suffer more to like, make it okay, that I had the life I had,
but like, aren't we trying to like transcend that and like,
you know, we don't want to suffer, we want nobody to
suffer. So, why do we want ourselves to
go through challenging and situations that aren't fun when
we don't need Need to do that. And I think we feel it's morally
Superior to have had the hard life, the hard, Gras, the
challenge, which obviously some people genuinely have.
But when we, it's about that feeling of, I'm only worthy if
it was really hard and that's going to make it really
difficult to follow the path that lights you up and the
follow the path of Joy because if Joy and lighting up is not as
worthy or you're not, you're not as deserving if that's the path.
Then you're always going to subconsciously go for the
harder. Most challenging difficult route
to get there. Those are always the stories
though. You know, when you hear
motivational talks and stuff is always how difficult and how
challenging, and how hard it was sometimes, motivational talks
demotivate me, you know, because I'm like, wow, as much as You'll
be motivational right now. I don't want to experience all
of that in order to get. So we just talked about this on
our last thing. I think of it.
I don't know. We just yeah a little bit.
I that's been a huge theme for me and you know, I have been so
blessed to have had a beautiful childhood in like, you know.
Yeah. Pink shit happened in like you
know, wasn't always always perfect but I am really Blessed
with the life. I've had so far and I think we
can get so caught up in like all the biggest coaches and biggest
people in this industry. I feel like I've had these like,
Wharf, like horrible experiences that like you.
No one wants to have happen to them, if possible.
And I'm not saying that they are telling people to go have those
experiences. Absolutely not.
But it can make you and this is comparison and comparison is
just a death trap, but It can be like oh wait what do I have to
give? If I haven't gone through these
like near-death experiences are these like completely
destruction of my life, like what do I have to give?
And I'm like, oh my God, but isn't the point of doing all
this work? You know, so we can get out of
that cycle so I kids can get out of that cycle and not have to
keep suffering. Like I hope there is a time
where coaches are not necessary. We're all of this therapists and
The men, the work that everyone's doing right now,
which is beautiful, but like I hope it's not necessary someday
because that's the goal, right? But sometimes we can get.
Yeah. And that's like, oh, being like,
Oh, I have to suffer more to bring value to others and it's
so stupid. How's it going to say?
Who you bring value to differs right by your journey?
Someone's Journey could resonate with one person who really is,
you know, going through it the way they did and then someone,
Else's story could relate and resonate with someone completely
different and someone who's had a life of less suffering could
have other experiences that you know someone else could resonate
with more. You see what I'm saying?
So that was just my little add to that.
True, I wrote something yesterday that I'm just amazed
that it came into this conversation.
I didn't share it yet. I wrote it for I'm and then just
didn't feel inspired to press post.
I don't know why and so I closed my laptop but I meant to bring
it up here I think. But what I wrote was there's no
trauma that pushed me into my spiritual journey or this work.
No significant event that made me say enough is enough, no
injury, no breakup, no toxic workplace.
I was propelled by the mundane, the potential truth that
wherever I was at was as good as it was ever going to get
repeating the same routine morning and night weekdays and
ends in an endless cycle with no end in sight.
The idea that life is meaningless nothing I do matters
and I'm here to survive and die life is pointless and I have no
purpose. This depressive thought was my
motivation because I knew it was total BS and I'm here to prove
it wrong. Hmm.
So thanks yeah. And I think so many people will
resonate with that story you know someone who just felt low
and didn't have purpose. Not.
Sara Lee a moment or a life-and-death moment.
There's people out there that will need more experience will
have experienced that and resonates so deeply.
And that in itself is suffering. It's just in a different way,
isn't it? Hmm.
I feel like I'm vast. Majority of people are in the
spot that we are. Yeah, exactly.
I've no I haven't ever heard explained like this.
So this is really interesting for me to hear as well because I
guess I always Think of struggle and challenges and Trauma to
propel people. But then hearing that do are
very aware, that that wasn't your path.
And still, you are very passionate about helping other
people who may also feel the same.
I don't think any, and I think this comes down as well to the I
guess like, we think that being a certain place in your life
means that you will be void of Friend.
So this is why we'll always everyone's trying to strive to
make more money or to be at a certain place in their life
because we believe that we will bypass the human emotions once
we get there, we'll never feel sadness.
Will never feel depressed or whatever.
If that were true, every celebrity would be living it up
and having great great lives, which we know is not the truth,
right? So, I think doesn't matter where
you're at in your life, or how much money you have or the
upbringing that you came from. You can still experience.
Perience your own, you know, experienced challenges and
suffering in your own way that is still of value and important
for people to hear. And then there's people that
have like, the generational trauma and the deep deep trauma,
as well, which have their their Journeys to.
But that's just the way I guess. Life is in a sense, everyone has
their own different Journeys, and well mental, I keep going
and get You know, I don't want to say better that's not the
right word but evolved like the spiral higher to, like not stay
in the same place and yeah, just like I said, dance for everyone.
I like to say that we're here to expand and see how good it can
get, hmm, because we're very aware of how bad it can get, but
people don't normally turn around and look at the other
direction. If it can get that bad, it can
also get that good. Yeah, is something the one not
really taught to think about how we can have.
We can have joy and he's and experience life to its full.
We don't really who don't really entertain that thought too much
to it. No we don't and that's why we're
here. That's why we're here.
Hey that's why we do what we do letting it flow.
Let me flow. This has been such a good For
seishin, It's Gone on so many twists.
And turns house is all about really I was thinking about like
am I going on too many different places here?
No we are huge fans of tangents because yes you never know what
magic is going to come out of it and I always trust that
whoever's listening is going to get the message that they're
meant to get from it and everything is just perfect.
So we're so happy that you came on and I want to give you a
chance to tell us what's going on in your world.
Everyone can find you and what's coming up for you because I see
that you are going to launch a certification program this
summer. Yes.
Finally, this been something that's been for so many years.
I thought one day I will and then I've done different things
trained in different certifications and now it's time
to have my own. My very own just me.
You know, I as you guys know, I, I actually launched us if it's
ation last year with a business partner that didn't work out.
And now I'm like, I just want the essence of me to be essence
of that flows into what I'm doing.
So I'm excited for that because I think what I'm going to do in
this certification. So yes I'm going to be launching
a certification before summer this year 2023 and it's going to
include some Mattox embodiment flows.
Working with the nervous system NLP because I still love NLP
mindset work and all of that and have some great master classes
and things like that. But my vision for this
certification is that coaches leave feeling fully equipped
with. Not just one set of tools, but a
vast holistic way of coaching and also understanding the
foundations of coaching and how to be a coach without just the
technique, everything that I felt.
It was missing when I was trained.
I'm including the certification so that when they leave, they
have had their own self development.
They've had done that the inner work, but also they understand
the fundamentals around the mindset, the nervous system, the
mind-body connection and how to work with your client, with all
of that. So I'm going to bring my whole
heart and every part of me to the training.
So yeah. Huh, I can feel it already.
I'm like it's day one over here, so it's absolutely see this.
But she's glowing. I was going to say your face is
lighting up talking about this about following, what lights you
up and that that energy. And it's also a symbol to myself
of saying, yes to myself. Not anyone else, you know?
Like not fitting into a box just being me and That was going to
be leading as I do this certification.
So if anyone's listening and you've been considering being a
coach and you want to learn lots of amazing tools and techniques
and the somatic size of everything as well.
Then yeah, follow me on Instagram is at Kora, Jane
Lynch, and of your proud of her certification.
I'm assuming there's going to be meditations.
And I tell you, they are the most relaxing meditations ever.
Listen to sit down. Take a breath.
I don't know what voice comes out.
When I do the meditation by like I just go into like this very
deep, but Chauncey boys, I didn't even know because when I
did this at it, the meditations on that law certification
program. So many of the students were
like, oh, your voice is so relaxing.
I'd never really thought about it before and could you guys was
telling me I was like, oh wow. Well yeah, I would definitely be
including meditations in my and hypnosis and one of these things
it's going to Skyrocket with your energy and you just being
so So lit up by this idea and what you're doing, it's you can
feel it, like we feel it Carly, and I feel it and I'm sure
people feel it, just listening to you talk about it.
So I'm super excited to see how it goes.
We'll be following. Thank you guys, thank you.
So if you enjoyed this conversation with Cara, please
give it a share. Tell your friends.
Leave us a rating and review. It really does help and we will
see you next time. Bye.
Okay, bye.