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Hi everyone, welcome to another 
episode of Inside Thoughts Out 

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Loud. 
Today I have the pleasure of 

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sitting down with a dear friend,
AMI Jasai. 

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She is a well known influencer 
and content creator across many 

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subjects including beauty, 
fashion, motherhood, Wellness. 

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And the really cool thing about 
AMI is that she's been in this 

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industry, the consumer facing 
aspect of media for a very, very

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long time. 
And when you take that and 

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compare to someone like me who 
hasn't been and just recently 

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started stepping out into the 
social media world, you can 

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really see that we have very, 
very different views and 

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approaches with social media and
how we interact with our social 

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media pages and our followers 
and specifically trolls. 

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I've been wanting to talk to her
for a while because I think 

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there's this really interesting 
culture on social media where 

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people assume that they know the
totality of who you are or what 

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you do simply based on the 
content you put out there. 

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We open ourselves to criticism 
and communication by being on 

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social media, but it would shock
you some of the types of 

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responses that we get from 
people. 

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I'm excited to sit down with AMI
today and talk about her journey

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into the content creation world,
what that looked like for her, 

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how she has seen it evolved, and
what she thinks about the 

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culture of social media, not 
just from the creator 

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perspective, but from the 
consumer perspective. 

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I'm really excited to have on me
today. 

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Let's get into it. 
Welcome to Inside Thoughts Out 

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loud on me. 
I'm so excited to have you here.

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I'm excited to be here. 
I. 

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The funny thing is, you and I 
could just talk for hours and it

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would just be interesting no 
matter what. 

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Because I think one of the 
funniest things about us is that

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we're so similar and so 
different. 

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Yeah. 
I, I mean, I know we've talked 

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about this a lot, very 
different. 

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And then I think at the core, 
there are things that we have 

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very similar, but I was actually
really nervous when you asked me

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to come on because I was like, 
if you can say everything in 

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such a succinct amount of time 
and get it out and you're like, 

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matter of fact. 
And I'm like, I feel like I'm 

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very, I need amendment and I 
need to think about what I'm 

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saying. 
And I'm very like, you know, 

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have, I need time. 
So I was like, how is this going

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to work? 
But. 

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And we're both Libras. 
Yes, I know. 

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Which is so funny because. 
Yeah, you know, well, I think 

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what's really funny is I only 
knew of of you on social media 

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before I met you. 
And I even remember a friend was

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like, oh, do you follow so and 
so I was like, I don't know, it 

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just feels like it felt very 
sanitized to me. 

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Yeah, yeah. 
And I, I mean, I can say it now 

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because we're friends, but I. 
And then when I met you, I mean,

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you're so quick witted and you 
are so funny, just like 

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situational zingers. 
I mean, I just remember being so

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surprised because it was such a 
departure from whatever my 

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conception of you had been based
on your profile. 

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And I was embarrassed of myself 
for having thinking, having 

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thought that I knew who you were
and have just I was just so 

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wrong like I was. 
And it was never anything bad. 

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It was just. 
It was just. 

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You know, like. 
Very curated, sanitized, like 

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motherhood and beauty and and I,
I was so surprised by the side 

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of you that I saw after and of 
course have had the pleasure and

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honor of getting to know. 
And I think it's so funny that I

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myself was guilty of the very 
crime that I criticize everybody

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else for now because when people
assume things about me, 

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especially as of recent, there's
a lot of like, do you ever spend

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time with your kids? 
I never see your kids on social 

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media. 
And I used to and then I decided

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to stop. 
I didn't want that anymore. 

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I don't have anybody to judge 
whether they do or don't. 

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I just made the decision to stop
doing that and I my response is 

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why would you ever have the 
audacity to assume that the 

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totality of who I am is what I 
present to you on the Internet? 

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But that's what social media has
done, right? 

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And I mean, that's just it 
actually. 

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I mean, it brings up so much 
because we as adults can 

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actually look at something and 
say, Oh my gosh, I caught myself

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judging someone else and saying 
basically doing everything I 

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preach not to do right. 100% And
I am. 

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That's why I want to start with 
that because I am literally 

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guilty of that. 
And at that time I didn't really

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have a profile and I didn't, I 
did not have this perspective 

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that I do now. 
And I remember thinking back and

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even just when I hung out with 
you for the first time, 

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thinking, Oh my gosh, jeez, this
is just not what I what I 

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thought. 
I appreciate that too, because I

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do think I'm very funny. 
No, but I do get told a lot 

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people are like, you are like 
you're kind of, you're weird, 

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you're funny, and you're just 
like, you know, you have these 

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fingers and I'm like, I know 
that's who I am. 

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But that also brings up this 
idea of social media and how we 

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present ourselves and how, oops,
excuse me, but how like social 

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media has evolved, right? 
Like what started 15 years ago, 

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people were very curated. 
That's what it was. 

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They were these perfect cookie 
cutter little boxes of who you 

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wanted to be and what you wanted
to be. 

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And now it's evolved into 
something of like, no, this is 

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who I am. 
This is what I represent on 

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every level, both professional, 
personal, emotional. 

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And so it's it's hard because, 
well. 

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You're damned if you do and 
you're damned if you don't, 

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which is the reality of it. 
And I want to get to that. 

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But I first, one of the things I
really wanted you to talk about 

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is I don't think people 
necessarily realize how deep in 

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the game you've been for so long
because you have been in a 

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consumer facing media capacity 
for a really long time. 

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So give us the quick refresher 
of like where you started. 

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And then when I think of of your
social media career, I, to me at

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least, you're somebody who's 
really been there from the 

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beginning. 
And so you have had the pleasure

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or not, however you. 
Think about it of. 

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Having to evolve. 
With the platform itself, no, I 

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mean, it's funny because I 
don't, I don't think I've been 

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in it from the beginning, but I 
also think I've been in some 

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form of media from the 
beginning, you know, especially 

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being South Asian, I think 
wanting and to be in journalism,

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in media communications, all 
that stuff at my age was like, 

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what are you doing? 
That's, you know, why are you 

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not going to be a doctor or a 
lawyer? 

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And so that aspect was there, 
but then it pivoted because 

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everything pivoted. 
Everything on TV was going 

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streaming and then now as we 
know, social media and, and 

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streaming. 
So it pivoted and I still didn't

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want to get on it when people 
were doing YouTube and 

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everything was like, I don't 
want to do this is it's not I 

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don't know. 
In a way it was almost like I 

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don't think my family or people 
would think that that's 

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something credible to do. 
And then I realized that's 

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actually what I need to be doing
because I actually wanted I had 

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a voice. 
And you know, a lot of times 

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they say get on social media 
when you know that there's a 

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void in things that are being 
said and stories that are being 

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told. 
And I was like, I had yet to see

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someone, especially from our 
demographic doing things around 

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mom life, right? 
And I was like, no one's doing 

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this. 
Why is nobody talking about how 

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to get ready with a 2 month old 
in your hands? 

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Or like, how do you take a 
shower with a baby? 

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How do you take two kids under 2
grocery shopping? 

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These were things that nobody, I
didn't know. 

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So I was like, if I'm going 
through this for the first time,

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how are other people doing this?
Am I just kind of in the dark 

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here and nobody's telling me? 
And then I realized as much as I

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would pitch, because that's what
I would do in TV, nobody wanted 

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to see that what they wanted. 
They didn't want a great idea. 

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They want the great idea that 
shows return, right? 

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So I realize. 
Everyone is so ROI. 

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Yes, exactly. 
Even then and from the beginning

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it has been. 
It just takes time to realize 

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that obviously any business, 
whatever it is, regardless of 

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how creative it is, there's 
always going to be a business 

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analytical standpoint to it. 
And so I realized, OK, I have to

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create this myself. 
So then that's when I started 

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doing YouTube and then started 
doing social media and taking 

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Instagram more seriously and 
realizing like this isn't just 

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for fun. 
And I had to, you have to really

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get out of your own head with 
that, you know, especially 

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being, again, I keep going back 
to the being South Asian thing 

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because I feel like for a long 
time people just thought it was 

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completely, oh, that's cute. 
That's. 

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Cute. 
I mean, I, I turned 40 this year

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and I have, I feel like I've 
lived many lives because of all 

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the things that I keep wanting 
to do. 

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But even my own parents are 
like, you're, you're such a 

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great surgeon. 
Do we, do we really need the 

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podcast and the, this and the 
that? 

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And I tried explaining to them, 
I think it's always been a part 

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of who I am, but I didn't have 
any opportunity to explore the 

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side of me while I was working 
100 to 120 hours a week as a 

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resident or a young mom to kids 
navigating an early surgical 

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career. 
It just wasn't an option for me.

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So now that I have that 
opportunity, I don't want to 

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miss it because they really do 
enjoy it and that and you know, 

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and there's support and they, 
they get it, but it's, it's just

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such an interesting pivot. 
At least you get to say I am a 

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surgeon and then I have a 
social. 

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Media, it kind of sucks that it 
has to be like. 

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That I know because. 
There's so much I will go on 

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record. 
I will go on record as saying 

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it's very hard to do this. 
I mean, it is, I know, extremely

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time consuming and there's so 
much creativity that goes into 

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it. 
And it's almost like if you 

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said, oh, I was the head of a 
media marketing team, right? 

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Or a a marketing think tank, 
whatever people like. 

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Oh that's cool. 
But if you say I'm an influencer

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or content creator, they don't 
mentally equate the two things, 

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yet they are very very similar. 
You've built a brand off of who 

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you are. 
You are constantly reevaluating 

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and creating content based on 
current trends and you 

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absolutely have to have a read 
of the of the public. 

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Absolutely. 
But you are so right. 

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And I don't know if you remember
this, but when we had gone to, I

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think we were at an event 
together and I was like, it is 

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so much easier introducing you 
versus someone like when I feel 

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like I have to introduce myself.
When I introduce myself, I, I 

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sometimes will feel like, well, 
how am I going to say this? 

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Am I going to say influencer? 
I'm going to say digital 

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creator? 
How am I going to make this 

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sound more professional or 
something that someone's going 

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to say and take and say she 
actually does something. 

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She's not just a trophy wife or 
she's not someone that's like, 

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you know, trying to make 
something out of nothing that 

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doesn't know me, right? 
It's like my elevator pitch. 

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How am I going to do versus I'm 
like, this is my friend Divya. 

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She's, you know, double board 
certified plastic surgeon. 

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And now she has her own platform
talking about breast 

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reconstructive surgery and XYZ. 
It's much more, wow, that's 

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amazing versus me where it's 
like, that's great, that's so 

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cute that you give like tips on 
eyeliner. 

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Which is so I mean, it's 
infuriating to. 

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Me. 
I agree. 

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I agree. 
But I also again, like as 

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someone who's guilty of having 
to go through this lesson in 

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evolution of not really 
understanding what it was being 

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doing it now, realizing it, then
going back and sort of 

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correcting my own misconceptions
about about the platform and 

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about people. 
And then really firmly rooting 

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00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:13,280
myself in this belief that you 
have to understand that what we 

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00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:17,840
put out there is curated. 
Even my A Day in the Life or my 

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I'm recording something on a 
couch. 

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I have edited it. 
I have chosen the sound bites 

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that I want to put together. 
Person. 

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I always think about when 
families especially like family 

225
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,560
vloggers, like someone has to be
on the other side with the 

226
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,120
camera. 
They probably set that up before

227
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,760
they decided to walk in at 3:00 
AM from their flight. 

228
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:37,240
So obviously it's curated. 
Obviously we say that, right. 

229
00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:39,960
I think people really don't 
understand that. 

230
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:44,000
And so then they're, they just 
ascribe the totality of who you 

231
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:48,000
are to whatever it is that you 
put out online. 

232
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,760
And it just is. 
It's so. 

233
00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,000
Mind saving. 
I will say though, there is a 

234
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:58,320
difference between using social 
media and not being exactly who 

235
00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,200
you are on there, right? 
And I think that's OK. 

236
00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,760
There are lots of people that 
use social media for a specific 

237
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purpose and they may come off as
one way, but when you meet them 

238
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:09,560
in person, you're like, wow, you
are completely different than I 

239
00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:11,560
had expected. 
Like they could be super funny 

240
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,160
or very serious and in in real 
life, they're the polar 

241
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:18,560
opposite. 
I think I am and I think you 

242
00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:20,160
are. 
I very much am. 

243
00:11:20,160 --> 00:11:22,040
I believe I am. 
Like the person you see online 

244
00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,880
is the person you get. 
Yeah, I think on the. 

245
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,960
Bridge, it's more yeah, yeah, 
it's additive. 

246
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:30,080
I think that even with me, I'm 
almost like the extreme I'm 

247
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:32,760
everything I say is 
controversial or I'm, you know, 

248
00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:35,960
it's it's witty or I'm being 
sarcastic or something like 

249
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,480
that. 
But I'm actually there is a very

250
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,960
sanitized version of me Monday 
through. 

251
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,200
Friday, I think we're a little 
opposite there. 

252
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:44,880
Like I show the sanitized 
version and I almost keep the 

253
00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:49,360
more polarizing part of me to, 
you know, the inner circle. 

254
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,040
Yeah, yeah. 
And I'm the opposite. 

255
00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:55,040
I, I thrive off of those other 
videos, but they're at the end 

256
00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:57,680
of the day, I'm also just like 
getting the kids to school, 

257
00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,400
figuring out who needs soccer 
cleats. 

258
00:11:59,440 --> 00:12:01,560
You know, that part of me also 
exists. 

259
00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:05,160
And I'm also just very tired all
the time and all of that. 

260
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,280
And it's, it's interesting. 
I was having a conversation with

261
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:12,480
someone very dear to me the 
other day and we were, we were 

262
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:16,680
talking about, she was saying 
that a lot of her friends on the

263
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,120
Facebook physician groups, She 
was like, oh, you're really 

264
00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:23,200
popular on there, People really 
like you and you should join the

265
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,760
groups or you should do this or 
that. 

266
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:27,680
And I for a long time, I've just
decided that I wasn't going to 

267
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:30,040
do Facebook groups just I have 
to cut myself off somewhere. 

268
00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:31,800
Otherwise I could be on all the 
things all the time. 

269
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:36,200
And I what I told her was you 
have to dampen your highs but 

270
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,800
also dampen your lows. 
So I think it's great that in 

271
00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,880
this moment, people think I'm 
funny and, and whatnot and they,

272
00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,000
they love what I did last week. 
That could change like that 

273
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:48,480
tomorrow. 
And so I just don't go crazy 

274
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,200
about the fanfare when it 
happens. 

275
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,960
Just like you can't really bring
me down when it's a low. 

276
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:55,040
And if I said something that 
didn't land well or that I 

277
00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:57,560
offended a bunch of people 
accidentally, you know, I have 

278
00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,400
to do what's right by me. 
I have to rectify whatever I 

279
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,360
need to, but I just can't get 
caught up in it. 

280
00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,760
That's a fantastic lesson to 
learn and you learn that 

281
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,200
quickly. 
And I mean, you have because 

282
00:13:06,200 --> 00:13:09,120
you've had to, because the 
amount of growth you've had in 

283
00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:11,720
such a short amount of time has 
opened you to that. 

284
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:16,000
But I mean, it's such, it's 
interesting to see both young 

285
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,200
and older creators experience 
that at the same time. 

286
00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:21,840
And it's, it's an eye opening 
thing because you realize it 

287
00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:23,880
really doesn't discriminate age 
at all. 

288
00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:25,720
You know what? 
I mean, the people are fickle 

289
00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,000
and that was my point was the 
people are fickle and I, I am 

290
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,920
grateful for the love, don't get
me wrong. 

291
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:34,880
It's just I can't revel in it 
because it goes away. 

292
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,320
It goes away, it can come back. 
And so all I can do is be 

293
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,040
authentic and hope that the 
again that the totality of what 

294
00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,560
I present lands well with the 
right people who follow. 

295
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:46,760
It but I think the reality 
though there too is that social 

296
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:49,160
media and real life has blurred 
lines, right? 

297
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,280
So yes, you want everybody to 
see the totality of who you are 

298
00:13:52,680 --> 00:13:55,240
and at the same time, like we 
are not one-dimensional people. 

299
00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:59,200
So it's this whole idea of 
because I present beauty and 

300
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,720
lifestyle and maybe things that 
are a little bit more 

301
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:07,680
heartwarming or surface level on
the grid does not then make me a

302
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:11,040
superficial non political non. 
You know what I mean? 

303
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,320
All the things and vice versa 
of. 

304
00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:17,800
Course calm these things about 
you and it's I have to get over 

305
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,800
that part that part gets for and
it's funny is when it's about 

306
00:14:19,800 --> 00:14:22,640
me, I seem to not care. 
But if anybody says anything 

307
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,360
about friends or something like 
I, I. 

308
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,720
Get there with the pitch, the 
Mama bearing you, you know, you 

309
00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,440
just get a little, yeah, 
territorial. 

310
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,720
But I think back to your point 
about the the damned if you do, 

311
00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:33,280
damned if you don't. 
It kind of goes into play with 

312
00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:37,000
this whole idea that on social 
media, it is such a bizarre 

313
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:40,640
reality because you are not only
expected to have a hot take on 

314
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:45,280
everything, but a hot take that 
is for that specific person 

315
00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:47,680
watching, right? 
So it's like I may have a hot 

316
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:51,400
take on what's happening around 
the world right now, but if it 

317
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:54,840
doesn't agree with the person 
that's watching me at that time,

318
00:14:55,040 --> 00:14:57,160
all of a sudden it's Tuesday. 
You know what I mean? 

319
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,320
So it's not like you can have 
your opinion. 

320
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:01,080
It's no longer that. 
It's like they only want. 

321
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,440
Your opinion if they agree with 
you? 

322
00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:04,840
And it's funny because this 
conversation that I was having 

323
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:07,560
where we're talking about the 
Facebook groups, the next thing 

324
00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:11,400
that person had said, they had 
brought up a creator that they 

325
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,120
felt like was pushing Russian 
manicures too much. 

326
00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:15,400
And they said what? 
You know, what's your take on 

327
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:18,040
that? 
They're so bad for you and this 

328
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,400
person's is pushing it left and 
right. 

329
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,720
My response was, unless you're 
telling women that mammograms 

330
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:27,160
are unsafe or you're telling 
people not to wear a sunblock, 

331
00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:30,440
I'm going to choose my battles 
because there's nobody out there

332
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,400
that I agree with 100%. 
I don't get manicures. 

333
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:36,280
I haven't in a decade because I 
think in general, manicures may 

334
00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:39,320
be bad for you, but I also have 
other vices, right? 

335
00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:43,560
I do other things that people 
may look at that and say, well, 

336
00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:44,960
that's not good for you, why are
you doing that? 

337
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:48,000
So I can't sit here in my cloud 
of judgement and get upset 

338
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,520
because a creator who otherwise 
has great content and decided to

339
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:52,840
share their Russian. 
Yeah. 

340
00:15:52,840 --> 00:15:55,600
And that's boundaries, right? 
You have to have the boundaries 

341
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,120
and you have to set them because
it's healthy. 

342
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,000
It's. 
Healthy. 

343
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,640
But my point to this person who 
I was talking to, which again is

344
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:05,280
someone who's dear to me, was 
well, gosh, are are you not 

345
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:08,880
doing exactly what we talked 
about two seconds ago in judging

346
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:11,600
someone, in judging somebody 
about a Russian mannequin? 

347
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,720
I mean, that's cool. 
It's like that's how you feel 

348
00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:15,920
about it. 
And we all do it right. 

349
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:18,000
That's the thing, we all. 
Wanted to lead with my own 

350
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,120
guilt. 
We all do it and and I think the

351
00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:22,320
difference there too is like we 
can easily do it. 

352
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,320
I'm going to use this example, 
but someone on that's on reality

353
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,240
TV, right? 
We can use, we can do that and 

354
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,480
say, Oh, well, because they're 
there for our entertainment. 

355
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:33,320
They are there as a character 
that we can easily say, Oh my 

356
00:16:33,320 --> 00:16:36,080
gosh, you were this and that. 
And did you see what she was 

357
00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:37,080
wearing? 
Did you see her hair? 

358
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:39,240
It's horrible. 
But you forget that on social 

359
00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,200
media too, It's happening all 
the time, right? 

360
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,040
And I mean, there's plenty of 
times where I think someone was 

361
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,840
trying to send a. 
Story. 

362
00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,320
And like they were probably 
trying to send it to someone 

363
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,880
else but they accidentally 
replied to me with their right. 

364
00:16:53,160 --> 00:16:56,000
Their hot. 
Tank and it was something that 

365
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,800
obviously wasn't complimentary 
and I'm like, and I always reply

366
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:02,480
back and I actually don't let 
that slide, not in a way where 

367
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,800
I'm being mean or rude. 
Like Oh my gosh, how dare you 

368
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,960
say that? 
It's more like, hey, I don't 

369
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:09,319
think you meant this for me. 
Totally fine. 

370
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,480
It's your personal opinion. 
I just want you to know that I 

371
00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:15,240
am a real person that actually 
is monitoring my DMS and I 

372
00:17:15,240 --> 00:17:17,839
answer back and then they'll 
either come back with I'm so 

373
00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:19,160
sorry. 
That's so embarrassing. 

374
00:17:19,359 --> 00:17:23,319
But I think what that does is it
humanizes the person behind the 

375
00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:25,720
little squares because I think 
that's where things are lost no 

376
00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,760
matter how old you are too. 
I also at a certain point 

377
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:32,000
thought like, oh, you know, over
40 now, like everyone's mature. 

378
00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,480
We all most most of us have 
families and kids that we're 

379
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:35,600
raising. 
We're trying to set these good. 

380
00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,320
Examples. 
Right, right. 

381
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:41,040
I realized that fast and 
especially with everything like 

382
00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:45,000
how heated the world is, right? 
And it's so you have to be on 

383
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,040
one side or the other on so many
topics. 

384
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,520
And I'm realizing that people do
not, no matter how old you are, 

385
00:17:52,360 --> 00:17:55,120
have the same values or ideas of
what I'm thinking. 

386
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:58,000
Like, OK, would you talk to me 
this way or behave this way with

387
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,080
me if we were in an office 
setting? 

388
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:04,880
And the answer is no. 
And it's funny because when I, I

389
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,000
will leave positive comments, 
like if I think someone has 

390
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:11,600
great hair, I'm like, love it. 
You know, I, I just don't engage

391
00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:13,960
with content I don't like. 
If I don't like it, I don't go 

392
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:19,160
leave a comment about it. 
And I don't send people mean 

393
00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:21,640
messages out of the I've just 
never done that right. 

394
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,200
I've never been that. 
You will do it if someone 

395
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:27,400
instigates it with you. 100% Oh 
no, I will read them for filth. 

396
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,280
I will shame you. 
OK, so see that. 

397
00:18:29,360 --> 00:18:32,640
Feeling like an. 
Idiot for I think that's look, I

398
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:36,160
think that is what adds the 
virality. 

399
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,880
I think that's what adds the 
entertainment value of things. 

400
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,960
And I think that that is I would
say without social media, that 

401
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:44,440
is who you are like I think you 
are to the core. 

402
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:46,360
You're someone that's going to 
say, hey, I don't agree with 

403
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,640
this and I'm going to like pin 
you down and I will break you 

404
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,080
down until you understand why. 
And you do it beautifully 

405
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,720
because. 
They have to come to me first, 

406
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,800
right, right, right, right. 
And and so when it's my page 

407
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,280
that's different, I'm responding
to what comes my way. 

408
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,600
But if you look, that's me as a 
creator, but me as a consumer of

409
00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:06,080
social media, you're going to. 
I've just always whether before 

410
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:11,480
I had this platform and now I 
I'm just not like I hated your 

411
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,080
hair. 
What a terrible outfit. 

412
00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,320
You're ugly like I just that was
never. 

413
00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:16,920
Like keep it moving, we're good.
We don't need. 

414
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:20,280
Your eyes because I always had 
just sort of like the baseline 

415
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,240
IQ required to understand that 
I'm not going to engage with 

416
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,120
content I don't like because the
algorithm will feed it to me 

417
00:19:25,120 --> 00:19:27,920
more and it's so funny because 
you and I like all the same 

418
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,120
things you know I'll tell you if
you're. 

419
00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,560
Friends or dog because. 
Like the the like really 

420
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,280
heartwarming, like lovely, you 
know, because that's what I 

421
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,320
like. 
So my feed are all these like 

422
00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,960
dog accounts and just like 
heartwarming? 

423
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,240
The baby. 
The baby things, of course, 

424
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,920
because that's what I like, but 
it's amazing to me how many 

425
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:47,520
people are not like that. 
They will send you rude messages

426
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:50,680
or they will leave rude comments
and I'm always shocked by how 

427
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,600
surprised they are that that I 
responded or that I hold them 

428
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,800
accountable. 
For something that they came. 

429
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:56,880
To they. 
Came to. 

430
00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:57,800
Me to do. 
Yeah. 

431
00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,200
But I will say, and this is 
different than that because I 

432
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,120
think those people are almost 
lurking and looking for 

433
00:20:03,120 --> 00:20:05,360
something to actually attack 
because of something that they 

434
00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:07,720
are just going through, right. 
And they need something to 

435
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,200
attack at that point. 
But like. 

436
00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,640
For me especially, I think maybe
having a journalism background, 

437
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:14,960
I will and I don't love doing 
this at all, but I will because 

438
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:18,440
I do think that social media is 
unfortunately a place where most

439
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,440
people, especially the younger 
generations, that is what 

440
00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,200
they're using as a primary 
source of information, news, 

441
00:20:23,280 --> 00:20:26,000
everything. 
And a lot of times speaking with

442
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,440
confidence all of a sudden gets 
mistaken for. 

443
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:30,840
Accuracy. 
Credibility and it's not 

444
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:35,480
actually the case, but I think 
the biggest thing for me is 

445
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,960
making sure that like my kids 
especially understand the 

446
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,480
difference between that. 
So it's like how am I I think 

447
00:20:42,480 --> 00:20:45,560
for me it's like my North Star 
is like how I'm behaving is are 

448
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,480
would my kids would I be proud 
if my kids saw how I'm behaving 

449
00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:49,400
online? 
Do you know what I mean? 

450
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:53,240
And and I get that like I hear 
what you're saying so loud and 

451
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:57,920
clear these people are coming to
you and they're the ones that 

452
00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:02,160
are instigating the the the 
attack, right. 

453
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,360
I think sorry, that was one 
point, but the two the second 

454
00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:08,240
point was I think because of my 
journalism background, I will 

455
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:13,160
seek out the side that I don't 
want to see like I will seek out

456
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,680
the people that I absolutely 
don't agree with whatever 

457
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,320
they're saying right. 
I'll be like, Oh my gosh, I 

458
00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,720
don't want to go on here, but I 
need to see what Candace Owens 

459
00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:24,760
is saying because I need to 
understand that what I'm saying 

460
00:21:24,760 --> 00:21:28,520
and what I believe actually is 
refuting what she's saying or 

461
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:29,920
he's saying. 
No, and there's something. 

462
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:33,080
But then because of that, I get 
so much fed that's not, you 

463
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,000
know, what you want to see, 
which is so. 

464
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,400
Hard Yeah, no, it really is. 
And I, I too also will like land

465
00:21:38,400 --> 00:21:40,960
on Candace Owens's page. 
And I, I want to hear what 

466
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,680
people are saying for sure, but 
it's, I'm not in the comments, 

467
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,680
right? 
I'm not in Candace Owens 

468
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,840
comments. 
Fighting with other people, 

469
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,160
just. 
Not who I am or I'm not getting,

470
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,160
I'm just consuming the 
information she's putting out. 

471
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,280
Does this pass my barometer of 
credibility? 

472
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,960
Is this valid? 
You know what would be my 

473
00:21:58,960 --> 00:21:59,840
retort? 
Do I agree? 

474
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,760
Do I disagree? 
And then I move on. 

475
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,680
And it is amazing to me how many
people don't get that. 

476
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:09,120
And the they get so offended 
when I respond. 

477
00:22:09,120 --> 00:22:10,760
I'm trying to think of an 
example because there was one 

478
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:14,000
recently someone who was mad 
that it was chewing gum in a 

479
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:18,080
video and I actually am not a 
gum chewer, but I found it in my

480
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:19,800
kids backpack and he's not 
allowed to have the gum. 

481
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,920
So of course in confiscating and
I was like, Oh yeah, I want to 

482
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,320
take a piece of gum. 
And it was like you, you need to

483
00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:28,920
stop chewing gum in your videos.
This was highly distracting. 

484
00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:31,880
I was unable to get through your
stories and you need to rectify 

485
00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,360
this or like something right 
very. 

486
00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:37,560
I'm sorry that you didn't like 
the gum chewing. 

487
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,040
I myself am not a gum chewer 
because I don't like it. 

488
00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:43,400
But if you had actually watched 
the stories I had, I was telling

489
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,680
you why I was chewing gum, which
was this whole funny story about

490
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:50,160
finding out my kids backpack. 
Why do you feel entitled to me 

491
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:52,440
creating content for you? 
Right. 

492
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:55,640
I'm not a I'm not hired talent 
for you. 

493
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,080
This is my platform. 
If you didn't like the stories, 

494
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:00,160
just don't watch them, skip 
through them. 

495
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:03,360
And and so my response was was 
simply that, right? 

496
00:23:03,360 --> 00:23:05,560
I don't make content 
specifically for you. 

497
00:23:06,560 --> 00:23:09,080
I explained why I was chewing 
gum in the video, but assuming I

498
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:12,480
was somebody who chewed gum 
every day, the audacity to think

499
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:16,840
that you can dictate how I make 
my content is really special. 

500
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,680
I would think of think about. 
That is the entitlement that 

501
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:24,440
people have and it's because we 
have that privilege to have a 

502
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:27,160
platform. 
And so we've opened ourselves up

503
00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:28,680
and then it's up to people, 
right? 

504
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,200
I think that is why a lot of 
creators are so guarded with 

505
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,120
what they share. 
Like I know so many beauty 

506
00:23:34,120 --> 00:23:38,000
creators that are have 
full-fledged like five children 

507
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,120
and have a whole other life. 
But you would never know that 

508
00:23:41,120 --> 00:23:43,640
because all they share is 
obviously the 10 second 

509
00:23:43,640 --> 00:23:46,600
tutorials or the how to's, the 
get ready with me's, which then 

510
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:49,720
also makes it hard to prove our 
point, which is that we are more

511
00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,720
than one dimension. 
But this is where the whole like

512
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,680
the idea of workplace. 
And I know for you it's 

513
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:57,120
different because you do have a 
second workplace, which is your 

514
00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:00,160
primary workplace. 
But this is like, this is my 

515
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:02,360
workplace, you know? 
And so it's so hard for, for 

516
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:03,760
people for. 
Because I'm like. 

517
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,400
I'm like, this is my, I'm like, 
so when people come to me and 

518
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,120
they're saying, why don't you 
have a take on this? 

519
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:09,520
Or why don't you have a take on 
that? 

520
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,960
I'm like, I actually do. 
I'm just the way I've kind of 

521
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,720
tried to think about it is like 
if you were at work, a lot of 

522
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:20,440
times people are told told not 
to talk about politics or 

523
00:24:20,440 --> 00:24:21,960
religion because it divides a 
rumor, right? 

524
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:26,240
So for me, I understand that 
having a platform is a privilege

525
00:24:26,240 --> 00:24:27,600
and with that comes 
responsibility. 

526
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,280
But the way I think about it 
almost is that the grid is where

527
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,480
I show my work and stories is 
where I show literally how I 

528
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,320
process the world, you know? 
So it's like, if you wanna see 

529
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,760
what I'm doing and creating, go 
to my grid. 

530
00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:42,840
If you wanna see what I'm really
thinking, go to my stories, you 

531
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,120
know? 
And then once I say that to 

532
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:45,720
people, they're kind of like, 
oh, OK, I get it. 

533
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,080
Like you are a human person that
cares about the world. 

534
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:50,040
And I'm like, yeah, I know, I 
know. 

535
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:53,760
Well, it's funny because when I,
I had someone DM me saying I 

536
00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:56,320
don't remember exactly how it 
came about, but I think I, I had

537
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,040
been talking about how I think I
should, I deserve to know where 

538
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:02,120
creators stand. 
And this doesn't mean you need a

539
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,720
political platform. 
In fact, you should not, no one 

540
00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:07,120
should require that of you if 
that's not your platform, right?

541
00:25:07,120 --> 00:25:09,600
If you're genres, comedy or 
beauty, you can do that. 

542
00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:11,680
But I think if you're going to 
sell things, people deserve to 

543
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:15,000
know in general where you fall. 
And like you said in stories, as

544
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,840
I think where I discover that 
about people, so AI don't judge 

545
00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:21,720
somebody just based off their 
grid and B, if I if someone 

546
00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:24,960
they'll like send me someone's 
profile and they'll say, well, 

547
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:26,280
this person never talks about 
anything. 

548
00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:28,320
You need to talk about them or 
hold them accountable. 

549
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:30,760
I am not the accountability 
police. 

550
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,800
You know, again, the content I 
make is if I feel someone has 

551
00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:36,600
made an egregious error and I've
done the deep dive and I've 

552
00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,600
looked at all of their content 
over a period of time and you 

553
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,680
know, they either said something
frankly racist or then sure. 

554
00:25:44,120 --> 00:25:48,520
But I don't know these people. 
And if I haven't been following 

555
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:52,680
them temporally over a period of
time, I don't actually know what

556
00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,000
they stand for. 
And I, I don't believe as vocal 

557
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,200
as I am, I don't believe that 
anyone's required to tell 

558
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:00,000
everybody where they stand on 
every issue. 

559
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,320
And are people coming to you 
saying like, because you now 

560
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,160
have a huge platform, you should
be the person that's responsible

561
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:06,840
for doing that? 
Yeah, See, that's interesting to

562
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,520
me because half the time I'm 
like, well why don't you say 

563
00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:11,800
something And you know you even 
if it's twenty people that 

564
00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,840
follow you where's. 
Your. 

565
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:16,520
Opinion exactly. 
Or like, say it freely and loud 

566
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,640
into the rooftops, because that 
will have an impact at least for

567
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,200
maybe one or two people, you 
know? 

568
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,840
But they won't. 
But also I and what really gets 

569
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,040
annoyed is when and someone had 
sent me your profile and I said,

570
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:27,920
I actually have been following 
her for years. 

571
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:30,920
And if I even take the the 
personal part out of it, the 

572
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:33,240
fact that I know her. 
So therefore, I do know where 

573
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,160
she falls on a lot of these 
things because we've had offline

574
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:39,440
conversations on her stories. 
She has reposted things and I 

575
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,120
that's all I expect of people. 
It's like like a heart emoji or 

576
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:46,000
like a broken heart, you know, 
like just throw me a little bone

577
00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:47,880
of like, OK, I know that you're 
on the right side of history, 

578
00:26:48,120 --> 00:26:51,280
but I don't expect people to 
because, you know, if you're 

579
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:55,080
watching HGTV, that's for a 
certain type of entertainment. 

580
00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:58,760
If you're watching CNN, that's a
different right. 

581
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:04,320
So if you are the MTV creator, 
like people can't expect you to 

582
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:07,560
have HDTV content. 
But I do think part of our 

583
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:11,040
responsibility is, is to, you 
know, spread the good word and 

584
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:13,320
and share the good word. 
But also one thing I say all the

585
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:16,080
times, I'm not a journalist, 
they'll come at me and say you 

586
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,240
supported this, but I didn't see
you support that. 

587
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:22,240
I said, well, I did actually. 
It was in my stories. 

588
00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:24,680
You missed it. 
But I love how instead of 

589
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,680
saying, hey, how do you feel 
about this? 

590
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,000
In which case I won't come off 
strong. 

591
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,560
I'm not going to attack you. 
It's accusatory. 

592
00:27:29,560 --> 00:27:31,600
I'm not going to be snarky. 
I'll say, oh, this is how I feel

593
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,120
about it. 
If you come on and say, well, 

594
00:27:33,120 --> 00:27:37,040
you never talked about this, but
you, no, you don't know my 

595
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:38,640
friend. 
And just like you're not an 

596
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,400
investigative journalist and you
didn't do your due diligence, 

597
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:44,280
I'm also not a journalist. 
But that's the thing too, right?

598
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:47,000
Social media is so reactive. 
It rewards that the 

599
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:52,640
reactiveness, which can be great
in times, of course, for 

600
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:55,480
entertainment value. 
It's there and it's it's great. 

601
00:27:55,520 --> 00:28:00,520
And especially for Someone Like 
You who can gather a lot of 

602
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:04,080
thoughts in a short amount of 
time and also be able to 

603
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:07,760
articulate those thoughts very 
cohesively and with the, you 

604
00:28:07,760 --> 00:28:10,680
know, the resources to say, Hey,
this backs me up. 

605
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,120
I've done the research, I've 
done that like it's awesome. 

606
00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:13,960
Sometimes you look at your 
stuff. 

607
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:17,560
I'm like, how did you have time 
to create this video where you 

608
00:28:17,560 --> 00:28:20,040
are going through like not only 
the video, but documents are 

609
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:21,400
this and that. 
And it's great, right? 

610
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:25,080
But I think for a lot of people,
they are forming judgments and 

611
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,560
they're being way too reactive 
because they're seeing one thing

612
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:28,800
and they're like, see, that's 
horrible. 

613
00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:30,160
You missed this. 
You missed. 

614
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:31,880
That. 
Exactly. 

615
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,040
And it's like, no, no, that's 
not how this works. 

616
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,080
Like you are too reactive versus
like taking the time to 

617
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:40,280
sometimes actually look at other
things. 

618
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,840
It could, it could be as simple 
as like looking up, you know, 

619
00:28:42,840 --> 00:28:46,400
the hashtag of whatever topic 
you're looking at and then being

620
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:48,280
able to see it's a simple thing.
But these this is what we've 

621
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:50,880
lost. 
We have lost the art of proper 

622
00:28:50,880 --> 00:28:54,480
debate conversation and also 
like researching. 

623
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:56,840
There are No 2, two or three 
sides to stories anymore. 

624
00:28:56,840 --> 00:28:59,200
People don't believe that. 
They literally think. 

625
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,160
And it scares me like, and if 
there's one thing like 

626
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,880
especially I do feel like I try 
and talk about this more and 

627
00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:07,040
more on my platform, but like 
for me, my responsibility as a 

628
00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:11,160
mom now is as a parent more so 
is that I just want my kids to 

629
00:29:11,160 --> 00:29:14,160
be able to understand the 
difference one between speaking 

630
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:17,640
with confidence and authority. 
Even if you don't have the 

631
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,720
degree or the pedigree to talk 
about certain things like that 

632
00:29:20,720 --> 00:29:24,880
doesn't make it factual. 
And then also like, be curious, 

633
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:27,760
be curious if you are listening 
to something or someone say 

634
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:31,400
something and you agree with it 
or you don't, make sure that you

635
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,000
don't just stop there, but 
you're going and finding out 

636
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,520
more. 
Ask the questions either to that

637
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,800
person or to someone else and be
like, does this make sense? 

638
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,280
Or should I be looking it up in 
a book? 

639
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:42,240
I don't know, you know what I 
mean? 

640
00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:44,840
Things like that. 
Whatever they do now, you know. 

641
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,760
And it's amazing how much more 
of my own eyes have been opened 

642
00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,240
now that I'm on the other side 
of it than even how I was 

643
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,760
engaging with the platform, you 
know, four years ago, Right? 

644
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:55,040
Right. 
So I, I get it in one sense. 

645
00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,080
I'm like, well, you know, I'm 
guilty of some of this too. 

646
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:58,920
And I've, I've learned and I've 
grown from it. 

647
00:29:58,920 --> 00:30:02,560
And now I'm very, I'm fiercely 
protective of actually a lot of 

648
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:04,640
creators that people would even 
say on paper that you would 

649
00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:07,560
think that I would disagree with
or that I may not like or 

650
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,280
follow. 
When people come to me 

651
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:13,160
criticizing them, I defend them.
Yeah, more often than not, I 

652
00:30:13,160 --> 00:30:15,680
would say 99% of the time I'll 
say that's. 

653
00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:17,920
Because you have that 
self-awareness and you also have

654
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,880
that ability. 
You you know who you are, You 

655
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:22,800
know what I mean? 
And I think that's so important 

656
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:24,160
because you can take 
accountability. 

657
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:26,960
If someone comes at you and says
like, oh, well, this was wrong 

658
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,120
or yeah, you know, yeah, this is
actually what that meant. 

659
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,320
You have no problem saying 
you're right. 

660
00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:33,240
I. 
Was wrong, sorry. 

661
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:35,520
Right delivery OK, should know. 
Let's move on, right? 

662
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,880
Whereas other people I think are
so headstrong and just like, 

663
00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:41,280
Nope, this is it and I'm going 
to die on the sword, you know? 

664
00:30:41,280 --> 00:30:44,320
And it's like it's, it's really 
hard because it just, it just 

665
00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:46,440
repeats that cycle so badly, you
know? 

666
00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:50,640
But I think you, it really, you 
really learn a lot about 

667
00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:53,160
people's character in this. 
And one of the things that I 

668
00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:57,240
loved about your character is 
from the day we've met, you've 

669
00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,920
always been so supportive. 
So kindly, if there's anything I

670
00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:02,240
can do for you, if there's 
anyone I can connect you with, 

671
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:06,040
like let me know how I can help.
Which you had zero reason to. 

672
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,480
I mean, I was just another 
person crossing your path, 

673
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,400
right? 
So there was quite literally was

674
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:13,680
no reason ever to, to want to 
reach out or be helpful. 

675
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,320
And you genuinely were. 
And that to me speaks just 

676
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:19,480
incredible volumes about your 
character. 

677
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,680
Also, you were so funny. 
There was that too. 

678
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:29,200
But I, it's funny because again,
especially since my account has 

679
00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,480
changed so much, not everybody 
is like that. 

680
00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:35,840
And there are a lot of people 
who didn't give me the time of 

681
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,280
day in a room. 
Not that I cared because again, 

682
00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:40,840
I have, I stand on my own 
confidence of who I am outside 

683
00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:42,960
of this world. 
I don't need any of this. 

684
00:31:43,320 --> 00:31:46,240
But now all of a sudden they're 
reaching out. 

685
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:49,040
You don't have questions, want 
this or want that or are 

686
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:53,360
offering something or another. 
And it's an interesting, it's 

687
00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,400
not really a site of medicine 
that I interact with. 

688
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,760
It doesn't exist in in the way 
that I am a doctor, but it 

689
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,520
exists here. 
And I just want to know, like, 

690
00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:02,040
how have you stayed a good 
person? 

691
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,920
Oh gosh, I think that that's one
of those things that I think 

692
00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:08,560
from the beginning, I swear to 
myself, And I think this also 

693
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:11,400
comes generationally, but like 
we grew up in a time where 

694
00:32:11,400 --> 00:32:13,800
especially there was that token 
mentality, right? 

695
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:17,720
There's only one Indian person, 
there's only one person of your 

696
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,600
background that can be doing 
something as unique as being on 

697
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,320
TV. 
The sort of scarcity principle. 

698
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,240
Right, exactly. 
The scarcity mindset was very 

699
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:26,480
real and it still is there to 
this day, you know, in certain 

700
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:29,120
things. 
But one of the things I promised

701
00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:33,080
myself, and again, I think this 
has further been instilled in me

702
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,320
after having children, 
especially a daughter, is like, 

703
00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:41,160
I pride myself in saying like I 
am only here to push the culture

704
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:43,920
forward. 
You know, like I totally do 

705
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,160
believe that there's room for 
everybody and that if someone 

706
00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,320
else is getting those accolades,
that is fantastic. 

707
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:52,080
Like let the sun shine on them 
right now. 

708
00:32:52,080 --> 00:32:54,840
It will be my turn or whoever's 
turn at a later time. 

709
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:57,280
And I think you do find your 
purpose. 

710
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,880
It pivots, it can pivot. 
Like I may have wanted to do one

711
00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:02,280
thing and then it pivoted into 
something else. 

712
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:03,760
But like, it's what you make of 
it. 

713
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:05,760
You know what I mean? 
But I think it has been very 

714
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,480
true about. 
I've been disappointed when I've

715
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:12,120
met people that I admire and 
yeah, I'm like, wow, you really 

716
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:14,160
aren't. 
You don't walk the walk, you 

717
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:15,880
know, you talk and. 
That is what I'm seeing. 

718
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:18,080
I'm not going to mention names, 
but there have been people that 

719
00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:20,600
I've now interacted with. 
I'm surprised because the 

720
00:33:20,600 --> 00:33:24,560
platform tells such a story and 
the interaction tells a very 

721
00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,080
different story. 
And and I'm sort of flipping the

722
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:28,360
script of what we were talking 
about before. 

723
00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,120
Now it's like I thought the best
of them and I'm realizing off 

724
00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:34,600
camera, perhaps that isn't 
authentic or the version I 

725
00:33:34,600 --> 00:33:36,680
interacted with wasn't authentic
to that message. 

726
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:40,840
And I I mean, for anyone who 
knows you, we can all agree 

727
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:43,000
everybody has an opinion about 
everyone. 

728
00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:45,400
You are one person that is 
ubiquitously loved by all. 

729
00:33:45,720 --> 00:33:48,400
I mean truly, truly. 
And if you look at your network 

730
00:33:48,400 --> 00:33:51,760
and sheer number of important 
people that will support you, 

731
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:55,120
that that care about you, that 
adore you, I mean, it speaks 

732
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,040
about that is that doesn't 
happen overnight. 

733
00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,840
That's based on decades of being
a good person, right? 

734
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:03,200
So that's how that is curated. 
And I acknowledge that and I see

735
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,360
that, but I'm also seeing the 
other side. 

736
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:08,440
And it is, it's scary. 
No, I. 

737
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:11,440
Honestly would say you take a 
mental note of it, you keep a 

738
00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,480
mental tab and you move on. 
You know, cuz look, I do totally

739
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:17,920
also believe that karma's there.
What's going to happen to you is

740
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:22,239
going to happen to you. 
I also believe that you helping 

741
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,679
someone, like let's say you help
someone and they didn't 

742
00:34:24,679 --> 00:34:26,960
reciprocate or you never do 
things with the idea of 

743
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,639
reciprocation. 
But let's just say they did you 

744
00:34:29,639 --> 00:34:31,480
wrong, right? 
Like, let's say you help someone

745
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,000
and they did you wrong. 
They did you dirty, and you're 

746
00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,639
like, all right, I see. 
There's nothing. 

747
00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,159
Yeah, there's no, there's no 
wasted energy on that. 

748
00:34:39,199 --> 00:34:42,320
I did what I was going to do. 
No matter if you showed me you 

749
00:34:42,320 --> 00:34:45,840
being an amazing person or the 
person that sucks. 

750
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,320
Yeah. 
That, that, that is you, you 

751
00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:51,040
know, because at the end of the 
day, I believe that it's going 

752
00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,840
to come back in twofold for me 
in a great way, or something's 

753
00:34:55,840 --> 00:34:57,200
going to help. 
Well, I feel like Kana's going 

754
00:34:57,200 --> 00:35:00,000
to take care of it, but also I 
I'm a bit, I love a good 

755
00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,680
redemption arc. 
I know what I mean. 

756
00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:05,440
I really do. 
I, and I think that's one of the

757
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:08,120
reasons I like long form content
is because you can get into the 

758
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:09,600
nitty gritty about things like 
this. 

759
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:13,040
But there have been people where
I felt like I may be supported 

760
00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:16,080
or did something and in return I
didn't get that same energy. 

761
00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,880
And this is a mature, like this 
is the more mature version of 

762
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,640
me. 
Me in my 20s and probably even 

763
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:23,280
most of my 30s would not have 
done this. 

764
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:24,840
I would have been like once I've
scored. 

765
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:26,120
Like you are. 
You're done. 

766
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,280
You're on that list. 
But now I find so much value in 

767
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,440
kind of going back and if I see 
them again, still being kind, 

768
00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,160
still being nice. 
I'm learning from, from 

769
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,520
wonderful examples like you of 
what that can look like. 

770
00:35:37,520 --> 00:35:40,840
But I, I think that I like to 
give credit to the redemption 

771
00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,600
arc and I've seen it, I've seen 
it play out. 

772
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:45,960
I also do think, like, I think 
there's a time in our lives 

773
00:35:45,960 --> 00:35:49,000
where we think this is the 
decade we should. 

774
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:51,520
We're too grown to be making 
mistakes like this, right? 

775
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,880
And that could happen in our 
late 20s and it can happen in 

776
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,240
our 30s. 
And I've had friendships where I

777
00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:59,960
have seen the lowest of lows and
we've come back even stronger. 

778
00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:02,640
And I will say you need those 
moments of growth sometimes. 

779
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:04,120
Sometimes they're just not meant
to be, right? 

780
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:07,680
But I do think that when you do 
have those realizations of 

781
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,800
either where you're like, I 
don't like the person you're 

782
00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:13,560
showing me to be or vice versa, 
if you come through those 

783
00:36:13,560 --> 00:36:15,960
moments, you actually see so 
much growth that makes you that 

784
00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:18,920
much more of a, yeah, better 
person that is able to 

785
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,600
acknowledge like, this is how I 
need to handle this stuff. 

786
00:36:21,600 --> 00:36:23,800
And also like it happens at any 
decade. 

787
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:25,200
I still, we're still growing, 
right? 

788
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,960
There's probably, especially 
with this journey that you're 

789
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:30,560
going on right now, like where 
you are seeing so much so 

790
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,320
quickly. 
And so lots of people come out 

791
00:36:32,320 --> 00:36:35,320
of the woodwork and they're just
like Divya, Divya, Divya. 

792
00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:40,000
You have to be so guarded, but 
you're probably learning too and

793
00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:44,000
figuring out like, oh gosh, you 
know, would I be doing the same 

794
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:45,080
thing if I were in their 
position? 

795
00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:46,560
I feel like I, I constantly am 
doing that. 

796
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:51,960
Like I might some like not in 
the terms I'm saying this wrong,

797
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:55,400
but like, let's say someone all 
of a sudden becomes really 

798
00:36:55,600 --> 00:36:57,880
popular overnight, right? 
And all of a sudden they've gone

799
00:36:57,880 --> 00:37:01,280
viral and I'm like I didn't know
who they were but I had no idea 

800
00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:02,960
because maybe they were buried 
in my DMS. 

801
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,000
But I went to their page and I 
was like Oh my God they're so 

802
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:06,760
funny this and that. 
And then I look at the DMS I'm 

803
00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,800
like Oh my gosh they DM me like 
3 years ago and I had no idea. 

804
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,280
It shows on red like I never 
even knew that. 

805
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:14,240
And so now I'm going to reply 
back to. 

806
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:16,520
It's not. 
But it's something that like, 

807
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,680
gosh, had you would you have 
noticed me had I not had this 

808
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:23,480
moment of virality, I. 
Thought I actually, I totally 

809
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,720
understand like with notoriety, 
I'm going to be on more people's

810
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:28,680
radars and that's fine. 
Like, I don't there's actually 

811
00:37:28,680 --> 00:37:31,240
been, it's actually funny how 
many people have reached out and

812
00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:32,760
they said, oh, my God, I love 
your content. 

813
00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:36,200
Oh, I didn't realize you had 
messaged me for the Avara event 

814
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,280
last year. 
And I truly don't think anything

815
00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:40,160
of it. 
But I think if I had an 

816
00:37:40,160 --> 00:37:42,720
interaction with you in the 
past, we met face to face. 

817
00:37:42,720 --> 00:37:45,920
We had a conversation and there 
was very specific version of you

818
00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,840
that came out. 
And now it's a very different 

819
00:37:47,840 --> 00:37:49,600
version of you. 
I'm aware. 

820
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,080
I'm something about me. 
Yeah. 

821
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,560
At this age. 
You should be as you are. 

822
00:37:53,600 --> 00:37:57,320
Aware of that and I, you know 
this about me, but I just like 

823
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:03,680
if I don't like you, if I can't 
support you, I don't care who 

824
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:06,280
you are, there's nothing you're 
going to get there's no invite 

825
00:38:06,280 --> 00:38:09,880
list you're going to put me on. 
There's no in event that I think

826
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,960
I'm going to be invited to that 
will draw out of me a 

827
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,040
disingenuous response. 
I cannot. 

828
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,440
It's like a, it's actually. 
That's a good though magic. 

829
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:20,440
Flaw like I can't kiss up to 
anybody for the greater good of 

830
00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:21,760
anything. 
I don't know how to do it. 

831
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:23,480
My brain doesn't work that way. 
That's good. 

832
00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:27,560
And so there I have friends who 
are even like, well, maybe if 

833
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:29,440
you didn't say this, and this is
just so and so. 

834
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:30,920
So like I was like, I really 
don't care. 

835
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:34,320
Like I don't, I don't need to be
invited to that or I don't need 

836
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,240
to be a part of that. 
If I can't support the person 

837
00:38:37,240 --> 00:38:39,720
behind it, like I just, I cannot
do it. 

838
00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:42,360
I'm the wrong person to 
represent that. 

839
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:47,240
And I it's so because I've had 
that like part of me that again,

840
00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:48,520
part of that probably should be 
shit. 

841
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:50,720
I need to get over myself. 
And that's fine. 

842
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:56,040
But I just because of that, when
I see people who are who show me

843
00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:59,040
such different sides of 
themselves based on the only 

844
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:03,040
delta being maybe my notoriety, 
then I start, I'm like so 

845
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:06,360
hypersensitive to it. 
I think there's also categories 

846
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:11,440
where, and I say this only 
because I feel like I can get in

847
00:39:11,440 --> 00:39:15,880
that mental state too, where I'm
like, well, you showed me your 

848
00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:17,400
true colors. 
So that's it. 

849
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:20,680
And I do think that sometimes in
this space, especially with 

850
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,400
social media, sometimes it, it 
is your workplace, right? 

851
00:39:23,560 --> 00:39:27,400
And it is your workplace. 
So you have to in a way, play 

852
00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:30,760
the game a little bit where it's
like, we can be cool on this 

853
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,280
level. 
But I know who you are. 

854
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:34,760
You've shown me who you are 
really. 

855
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:37,240
Like I would never call you. 
You're not my lifeline. 

856
00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:39,280
You're not someone that's going 
to be in my inner circle. 

857
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:44,440
But hey, if I need you for 
something that's going to help 

858
00:39:44,440 --> 00:39:47,360
with this, you know, platform 
and stuff like, I don't think 

859
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:49,360
that that's that's a bad thing. 
You know what I mean? 

860
00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:50,760
No. 
It's not, you're also like 

861
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:52,840
fundamentally a better person 
than I am, so that helps. 

862
00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:55,640
But I, yes, I, I definitely 
agree with that. 

863
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,680
And I think it all, what's 
interesting for me is that 

864
00:39:58,680 --> 00:40:02,920
because I wasn't sort of born in
this world and I have this whole

865
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:05,920
life outside of it. 
That's in a way like you have to

866
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:07,480
be different as a doctor if you 
are. 

867
00:40:07,480 --> 00:40:09,440
And so it's like you can't. 
Those are very different parts 

868
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:13,680
of my brain that are activating.
So much of this is foreign to 

869
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,160
me, and so I don't necessarily 
navigate it well or correctly, 

870
00:40:17,160 --> 00:40:21,960
because so much of my formed 
adult existence is based on this

871
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:23,880
other part of my life, which is 
that I'm a surgeon. 

872
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,360
Well, so let me ask you this, do
you find that to be something 

873
00:40:26,360 --> 00:40:29,360
hard? 
Like does your husband or who's 

874
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:32,680
the person that you go to that 
is like you're grounding my 

875
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:34,520
husband, OK. 
And so you'll be like, was that 

876
00:40:34,520 --> 00:40:35,680
OK? 
Are you ever like that? 

877
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,760
Or are you so sure and like 
Nope, that was fine? 

878
00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:39,920
Or do you ever second guess 
yourself? 

879
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:42,040
Like should I not have I've done
that or should I have done? 

880
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,600
That I've never second guessed 
myself because I have. 

881
00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:47,360
I like to look at everything 
like bird's eye view. 

882
00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:50,520
And in my life, I think most 
would argue that I have led 

883
00:40:50,520 --> 00:40:53,960
myself to a lot of success 
professionally and personally. 

884
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,680
And a lot of those moments were 
born out of mistakes that I 

885
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,320
made. 
So I don't, I don't think that, 

886
00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,920
but my husband will. 
I'll tell you the Kelly Dodd 

887
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,600
thing I wasn't going to respond 
to. 

888
00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:08,880
The initial to any of it, any of
these, the ones. 

889
00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:12,560
Yes, because we were leaving for
a trip to Mexico. 

890
00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:15,320
The flight was at 8. 
AMI hadn't packed. 

891
00:41:15,320 --> 00:41:18,320
I had to wake up at 3:30 in the 
morning to finish my operative 

892
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:22,520
reports pack for five people to 
go to Mexico. 

893
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:27,240
And Ravi that night when all the
racist videos were coming out, 

894
00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:28,840
he's like, hey, you got it. 
And I like, snapped at him. 

895
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:29,920
I was like, I don't want to see 
it. 

896
00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:31,360
I don't have time for this right
now. 

897
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:34,440
Like, you know where the goggles
are, Like are we had a sunblock,

898
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:36,560
You know, I was just in that. 
And. 

899
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:40,760
So he obviously is a wonderful 
husband and knows me and you 

900
00:41:40,760 --> 00:41:43,520
like OK that this is not the 
time to approach them about 

901
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:44,520
this. 
But he screen captured 

902
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,400
everything. 
And the next morning he comes in

903
00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,440
my room at like again, 3:30 in 
the morning. 

904
00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:50,440
He's like, I know that you don't
want to do this. 

905
00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:54,320
And I know I just she was such a
nobody to me. 

906
00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:58,680
I truly didn't even know who she
was that I was like, why would I

907
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,240
respond to this? 
This is this is silly. 

908
00:42:00,680 --> 00:42:03,160
And, and he just said he goes, I
know who you are and I know how 

909
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:05,240
you are. 
And this would be so funny. 

910
00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:07,720
And just, he's like just the 
things that you're saying to me.

911
00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:09,880
Well, you just put it on a 
camera and I'll edit it for you.

912
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:12,600
Like just record it because he's
like, this is so funny. 

913
00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:14,680
This is gold. 
He's like, he would show it to 

914
00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:15,920
me. 
And I was like, well, and I 

915
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:17,680
would say the very things that 
ended up in the video. 

916
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:23,360
And I made the video and I and I
posted it literally I posted as 

917
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:26,080
a two-part thing as a flight was
taking off and I turn off my 

918
00:42:26,080 --> 00:42:29,840
phone and I landed and it was 
like, what just happened? 

919
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,200
This is insanity. 
And Ravi's like I told you, I 

920
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:33,600
told you. 
And he had said he was, this is 

921
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,280
the moment that you're going to 
go viral for. 

922
00:42:35,560 --> 00:42:39,160
And I'd had many viral moments, 
but nothing with this magnitude,

923
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,400
right? 
And he's still, he's like, I was

924
00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:42,040
right. 
I was right. 

925
00:42:42,160 --> 00:42:45,080
So Ravi's the actual mastermind 
behind Divya's success. 

926
00:42:45,080 --> 00:42:50,520
Literally in more ways than one.
100% so he also is able to pull 

927
00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:55,520
me out of my people I think 
would find this hard to believe.

928
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,360
I'm actually very introverted at
the end of the day. 

929
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:58,960
Like I don't like to leave my 
house. 

930
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:01,600
I say no to most events I. 
Believe that I think that 

931
00:43:01,600 --> 00:43:04,080
there's like I think you see 
that in a lot of people that are

932
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:07,400
very vocal and that user 
platform quite a bit they don't 

933
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,600
it's like you're mentally 
fatigued do you know what I mean

934
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:11,400
and so I just. 
Love. 

935
00:43:11,440 --> 00:43:13,360
I would say I have to be a 
castle on the hill like I want 

936
00:43:13,360 --> 00:43:16,160
to be by myself. 
I have a separate content phone 

937
00:43:16,160 --> 00:43:19,160
that I will turn off, put away. 
And on my actual phone, I don't 

938
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:20,680
even have Tiktok. 
I don't have Instagram, I don't 

939
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,240
have those apps on my real phone
that I use for. 

940
00:43:23,240 --> 00:43:27,160
And how are you so? 
I will engage in for 30 minutes.

941
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:32,280
After I post something on my 
content phone I will post for. 

942
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:37,320
I will engage heavily for 30 
minutes and then I'm off and I'm

943
00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:39,080
off. 
But I in that I'm quite 

944
00:43:39,320 --> 00:43:42,280
efficient and I just I say what 
I think. 

945
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,560
So you. 
Are efficient there is like your

946
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,480
clap back is already clapping 
it's. 

947
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,200
Already And I will do it and 
then I'll put the phone away and

948
00:43:49,200 --> 00:43:52,120
I literally don't have these 
apps on my work phone, which is 

949
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:54,760
my my real phone, like the one 
that my friends called me on and

950
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,440
whatnot. 
And I actually just re 

951
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:59,880
downloaded Instagram. 
So for the for the podcast 

952
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:03,320
aspect, because I've been 
loading my own videos, Ravi does

953
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:05,760
help me edit he never wanted. 
Which is great. 

954
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,200
Ravi helps me edit a lot. 
But back to your question, 

955
00:44:08,360 --> 00:44:10,880
because Ravi is so deep in 
understanding my relationships 

956
00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:15,040
with people, he will definitely 
give me his commentary of, you 

957
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:16,920
know, maybe you shouldn't have 
been so harsh on this person. 

958
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:20,360
Did you think about how that may
affect XY and Z? 

959
00:44:20,840 --> 00:44:24,280
But my response to him has 
always been, if all of this went

960
00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,920
away tomorrow, I would be 
totally fine and happy, right? 

961
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:32,360
And so I just, if I have to 
engage with this platform in a 

962
00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:35,600
way that doesn't do right by me,
I won't enjoy it. 

963
00:44:36,040 --> 00:44:38,680
And therefore I can't do that. 
So if I'm going to go on this 

964
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:41,880
ride and if I'm going to do the 
things, then it has to be on my 

965
00:44:41,880 --> 00:44:45,560
terms because I won't be, I 
won't feel good about it. 

966
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,120
I won't enjoy it. 
I won't like it if I can't be 

967
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:51,000
sarcastic or if I can't clap 
back to the haters. 

968
00:44:51,000 --> 00:44:53,600
Like I enjoy that. 
Yeah, judge me all you want, but

969
00:44:53,600 --> 00:44:56,400
that is something that I, I 
enjoy showing people to mirror 

970
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:58,520
sometimes. 
Like I I have no problem with 

971
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,840
that. 
But yeah, I, I will for 30 

972
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:03,880
minutes after something's 
posted, I will engage. 

973
00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:06,840
And I in the morning, I give 
myself about 15 to 20 minutes 

974
00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:10,040
and then before I go to bed, 15 
to 20 minutes and I will power 

975
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:12,920
through. 
And I have a team, too. 

976
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:17,800
Yeah, the team helps and it's 
funny because they'll they'll 

977
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:20,920
say like we can't, we can't 
execute this the same way that 

978
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,320
like the words that you would 
have chosen. 

979
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:24,560
So there's some things that they
can help with and some things 

980
00:45:24,560 --> 00:45:27,960
that they can't help with. 
But there's a team and there's, 

981
00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:31,200
there's a lot of people behind 
it and I choose how I'm going to

982
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:33,120
engage with it. 
And I can't, I can't change that

983
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:37,760
because I will. 
I won't enjoy biting my tongue 

984
00:45:37,760 --> 00:45:42,200
about something or someone that 
I feel strongly about if if I'm 

985
00:45:42,200 --> 00:45:45,120
doing it for the sake of like 
placating something for the 

986
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:47,960
future or for some future, if 
I'm worried about some future 

987
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:49,480
collaboration. 
Or do I just, it's not me. 

988
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,720
No, I know and I know and you've
made it very clear like that's 

989
00:45:51,720 --> 00:45:53,600
not what you're using social 
media for anyways. 

990
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,840
That's. 
It's a great part. 

991
00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:59,040
When it makes sense, I'll take 
advantage of it, but I it's not.

992
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:01,560
It's not. 
I remember when we when you 

993
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:07,840
first started Avara 2, you were 
asking like, is the person like 

994
00:46:07,840 --> 00:46:12,560
being more controversial or 
having a, an opinion? 

995
00:46:13,160 --> 00:46:16,240
Is that something that you 
would, you questioned yourself? 

996
00:46:16,280 --> 00:46:18,960
Like is this something that's 
good for Avara like branding 

997
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:24,760
wise now seeing what you know 
with everything that's happened?

998
00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,720
I mean, I would say even up 
until the virality, like the 

999
00:46:29,720 --> 00:46:33,720
intense virality, would you 
still say and after, would you 

1000
00:46:33,720 --> 00:46:37,200
say that you would be exactly 
who you are now? 

1001
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:40,080
Yes, I would and I'll it's funny
'cause I have a podcast episode 

1002
00:46:40,080 --> 00:46:44,080
coming up about this with 
another brand founder who is 

1003
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:48,280
very vocal and her and I are 
particularly vocal for being 

1004
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:50,400
brand founders. 
I mean, I think we are outside 

1005
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:54,920
of the norm or the mean for for 
what brand founders are willing 

1006
00:46:54,920 --> 00:46:59,320
to double down on publicly. 
And the point that I would love 

1007
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,880
to make with that podcast is 
both of us, you know, if you 

1008
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:04,480
just look at the objective 
metrics of our brands, they're 

1009
00:47:04,480 --> 00:47:06,520
doing very well. 
And her brand is much bigger 

1010
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:09,240
than mine. 
And I think it speaks to the 

1011
00:47:09,240 --> 00:47:11,920
fact that more than anything, 
people want to know who you are.

1012
00:47:12,080 --> 00:47:13,880
They want to know, they want to 
know what they're supporting, 

1013
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:15,240
who they're giving their money 
to. 

1014
00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:19,600
And even if they disagree with 
you, there's a respect that they

1015
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:23,320
have for you for being open 
about where you stand on things.

1016
00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,440
Sure, Have I maybe lost 
customers who disagree with 

1017
00:47:26,760 --> 00:47:27,880
certain political things? 
Sure. 

1018
00:47:28,200 --> 00:47:31,320
But that is a very small 
percentage to what I would say 

1019
00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:35,880
has grown the brand because they
love what I stand for or what I 

1020
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:37,640
say. 
And they're actually quite 

1021
00:47:37,640 --> 00:47:38,960
forgiving. 
I mean, we've talked about the 

1022
00:47:38,960 --> 00:47:42,600
trolls for sure, but I will say 
I get far more messages that are

1023
00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:44,880
I didn't love the way you did 
that or what you said about 

1024
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:48,160
that, but I still respect you 
for doing it or I right, still 

1025
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:50,720
love your content. 
You know, and I I don't it's not

1026
00:47:50,720 --> 00:47:53,120
like I lash back at everybody 
who comes who says something. 

1027
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:56,440
Most of the time they've come at
me with kindness and you know, I

1028
00:47:56,480 --> 00:47:58,880
didn't really love that. 
But overall I think XY. 

1029
00:47:58,920 --> 00:48:01,000
And Z mature. 
Like we can agree to disagree on

1030
00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,360
how it was delivered, but I 
agree with your point. 

1031
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:05,480
Yeah, 100. 
Percent like a mature way to do 

1032
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,280
it, absolutely. 
But wait, so now question is, is

1033
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:08,960
that the Brown founder that 
you're going to be doing this 

1034
00:48:08,960 --> 00:48:10,520
with? 
Are they in retail? 

1035
00:48:10,520 --> 00:48:12,680
Like, are they OK? 
They are because I think in 

1036
00:48:12,720 --> 00:48:14,120
retail. 
The one of the biggest things 

1037
00:48:14,160 --> 00:48:17,360
I've heard, and obviously I'm 
not a Brown founder, but is that

1038
00:48:17,640 --> 00:48:20,600
those they're kind of their 
hands are tied sometimes with 

1039
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:24,280
certain things because of the 
retailer saying like you can't 

1040
00:48:24,280 --> 00:48:26,440
speak on certain things. 
I think that that is more of an 

1041
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,080
excuse than a reality. 
I am. 

1042
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:33,160
I'm strictly ECOM DTC right now.
But I mean, I'm gonna ask her 

1043
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:35,240
these questions. 
Yeah, I I was gonna pull the 

1044
00:48:35,240 --> 00:48:37,440
audience first and say, what are
all these your burning questions

1045
00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:39,520
for this founder because she's 
so vocal. 

1046
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:44,080
She's such a successful brand 
and I think it really challenges

1047
00:48:44,080 --> 00:48:47,440
the notion that you have to be 
sort of middle, middle of the 

1048
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:50,800
road, not speak out. 
I think the times are changing. 

1049
00:48:50,840 --> 00:48:55,200
I think more and more of, in 
fact, you know this about me, I 

1050
00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:58,040
don't know how many people do. 
The reason I really hard 

1051
00:48:58,040 --> 00:49:00,720
launched my Instagram was 
because it was launching a Vara.

1052
00:49:01,120 --> 00:49:04,160
And the feedback that I got from
my marketing team was people 

1053
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,480
want to know the founder. 
So if you're going to have a 

1054
00:49:06,480 --> 00:49:09,680
brand in this era, you're going 
to launch in 2025, which is when

1055
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:14,120
I launched, you need to have a 
page where people can find their

1056
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:16,640
social proof. 
They want to believe in the 

1057
00:49:16,640 --> 00:49:17,760
company. 
They're going to need to believe

1058
00:49:17,760 --> 00:49:19,200
in you. 
So get to it. 

1059
00:49:19,600 --> 00:49:22,680
And that's when I put myself out
there and I didn't know how to 

1060
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:25,120
do it without being 
authentically me. 

1061
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:28,600
So I went into it like, if I 
fail, I fail, but at least I 

1062
00:49:28,880 --> 00:49:31,480
failed doing it the way that 
felt really authentic to me. 

1063
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:34,320
And if I succeed, great. 
I'd love to challenge the notion

1064
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:36,400
that you have to be a sanitized 
version of yourself to be a 

1065
00:49:36,400 --> 00:49:37,400
brand founder. 
That's great. 

1066
00:49:37,680 --> 00:49:38,960
Well, can't wait to hear that 
episode. 

1067
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:40,800
So one thing I really want to 
ask you about, and you don't 

1068
00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:42,840
have to talk about this if you 
don't want to, because I know we

1069
00:49:42,840 --> 00:49:46,400
hold our family very close, is 
your husband who I've had the 

1070
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:50,040
pleasure of meeting outside, you
know, just socially. 

1071
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,720
And he's such a hype man in 
general. 

1072
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:56,640
He has the best personality, but
he's so, so in love with you and

1073
00:49:56,640 --> 00:49:58,880
so supportive. 
And, you know, we talked about 

1074
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:03,120
Ravi briefly, but I have the 
absolute like luck to also be 

1075
00:50:03,120 --> 00:50:06,800
married to somebody who is just 
so proud of who I am so 

1076
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:10,680
supportive. 
And it I truly couldn't do any 

1077
00:50:10,680 --> 00:50:13,080
of this without him. 
And you are married to somebody 

1078
00:50:13,080 --> 00:50:15,440
who I think is just again, 
another pinnacle example of what

1079
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:18,520
a husband is. 
And because we have a lot of a 

1080
00:50:18,560 --> 00:50:20,760
lot of people who follow us that
are also younger, that are kind 

1081
00:50:20,760 --> 00:50:24,320
of navigating relationships, 
finding the man of their dreams,

1082
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:27,320
the woman of their dreams. 
I want I want your thoughts on 

1083
00:50:27,320 --> 00:50:30,880
your guys's relationship, how 
you knew he was the 1:00 and 

1084
00:50:30,880 --> 00:50:35,600
you're advice and thoughts on 
like this concept of settling 

1085
00:50:35,600 --> 00:50:37,520
versus not settling, being too 
picky. 

1086
00:50:37,760 --> 00:50:40,720
Because let me tell you, the 
Love is Blind finale had me all.

1087
00:50:40,720 --> 00:50:42,680
I didn't watch the season or 
even the whole finale, but I saw

1088
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:44,280
the clips of it. 
I don't watch it I. 

1089
00:50:44,320 --> 00:50:46,640
Didn't watch it. 
I watched previous seasons this 

1090
00:50:46,640 --> 00:50:50,040
I was like very invested in 
certain clips, but it was just 

1091
00:50:50,040 --> 00:50:52,280
like men now where are you at 
men? 

1092
00:50:52,280 --> 00:50:55,200
And you see so many high 
functioning women and I have a 

1093
00:50:55,200 --> 00:50:57,920
lot of, you know, ladies in my 
life that are amazing and 

1094
00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:02,600
incredible and single. 
And I just I'm trying to figure 

1095
00:51:02,600 --> 00:51:04,400
it out here. 
What is what is going on? 

1096
00:51:04,400 --> 00:51:07,480
So as someone who I know really 
hasn't figured out in that 

1097
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:08,760
department, what do you want to 
say? 

1098
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:12,200
Gosh, I would say, I mean, I've 
been with you for so long, but I

1099
00:51:12,200 --> 00:51:15,000
will say he's one of those 
people that I don't, I don't 

1100
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,360
know what I did in my former 
lives, but I definitely did 

1101
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:21,680
something well in that area 
because I I met him and I knew 

1102
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:23,840
he was the one, You know, there 
was something like literally of 

1103
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,080
souls, 2 souls, me and you're 
like, this is my person. 

1104
00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:28,360
That was my person. 
You know, he's my lobster. 

1105
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:33,360
But it was, I think the biggest 
thing with especially meeting at

1106
00:51:33,360 --> 00:51:36,000
such a young age and then going 
through so many life changes 

1107
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:40,400
together, I think the biggest 
thing is like, who shows up for 

1108
00:51:40,400 --> 00:51:44,640
you when you need to be the one 
in the focus? 

1109
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:48,640
Like you focus needs to be on 
you, is that person going to be 

1110
00:51:48,640 --> 00:51:51,680
OK taking a back seat and being 
your support and vice versa, 

1111
00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,600
right. 
And we've we've done that so 

1112
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:55,480
much. 
And I'm sure you guys have done 

1113
00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:56,840
this. 
I know it's different because 

1114
00:51:56,840 --> 00:51:59,920
you guys are both in medicine, 
but like with both viral and I, 

1115
00:52:00,120 --> 00:52:04,840
when he decided like he was 
going to stop consulting and go 

1116
00:52:04,840 --> 00:52:08,920
full force with a startup, it 
was like, OK, I've got a focus 

1117
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:12,280
and I can do This is why I kind 
of chose being in social media 

1118
00:52:12,280 --> 00:52:14,080
and like left producing in that 
world. 

1119
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,920
But it was OK, I'm going to do 
that and I'm going to do it 

1120
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:18,840
simultaneously. 
But but behind the scenes, like 

1121
00:52:18,840 --> 00:52:20,960
I'm there, I'm not going to be 
traveling, I'm not going to be 

1122
00:52:20,960 --> 00:52:24,640
doing things that he can't do 
right now and show up for right.

1123
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:26,720
And then I think the biggest 
thing too, that I think a lot of

1124
00:52:26,720 --> 00:52:29,320
times this is where the social 
media thing blurs the lines of 

1125
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:31,520
reality. 
Like, not everyone's watching, 

1126
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,400
right all the time. 
And we know that. 

1127
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:38,200
But behind closed doors, like no
one else is there except for you

1128
00:52:38,200 --> 00:52:39,400
too. 
So who is there? 

1129
00:52:39,400 --> 00:52:43,200
Who is that person for you that 
makes you feel like I see you, 

1130
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:45,800
you see me? 
You got my back in everything 

1131
00:52:45,800 --> 00:52:48,200
and anything at my worst, at my 
best. 

1132
00:52:48,880 --> 00:52:51,920
And then that's the person that 
if you are lucky enough to come 

1133
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:54,160
across that person, like that's 
the person you hold on to. 

1134
00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,120
And there's a chemistry also, 
like, right, This is the thing 

1135
00:52:56,120 --> 00:52:57,080
too. 
I have so many friends that are 

1136
00:52:57,080 --> 00:53:00,200
like in that beginning stage of 
like love and romance. 

1137
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,960
And it's like the chemistry and 
it's like, dude, like that's 

1138
00:53:02,960 --> 00:53:06,760
just after like 25 years, but 
you still look at that person 

1139
00:53:06,760 --> 00:53:09,400
with such admiration and love. 
The reason you love them 

1140
00:53:09,400 --> 00:53:12,680
evolves, right? 
I mean, of course I loved my 

1141
00:53:12,680 --> 00:53:15,200
husband and thought he was such 
a cutie and handsome and had all

1142
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,440
that, you know, all of that was 
great in there. 

1143
00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:22,520
But now, 13 years later, of 
course it's the way in which he 

1144
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:25,600
supports me quietly, that is so.
Sexy. 

1145
00:53:25,720 --> 00:53:28,400
And so like, that's the 
chemistry. 

1146
00:53:28,440 --> 00:53:31,000
Of course, right. 
And so there's that. 

1147
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,360
But I, I get messages from 
women. 

1148
00:53:32,360 --> 00:53:33,600
They're like, you're so well 
supported. 

1149
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:35,760
Your family seems great. 
Your husband seems great. 

1150
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:37,600
You know, I'm having this 
problem with my relationship or 

1151
00:53:37,600 --> 00:53:38,880
that problem with my 
relationship. 

1152
00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:41,200
And I think back, because I 
don't think people know this 

1153
00:53:41,200 --> 00:53:43,400
about Ravi and I, but he 
proposed to me after a month and

1154
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:44,480
we got married in six. 
Months. 

1155
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:46,720
Oh my gosh. 
Which is wild because I am not 

1156
00:53:46,720 --> 00:53:48,240
that person. 
And frankly, if that happened to

1157
00:53:48,240 --> 00:53:50,560
my kids, I, I don't know that I 
would like, yeah, behind that, 

1158
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:52,720
right? 
So it was a fluke thing, but I 

1159
00:53:52,720 --> 00:53:56,120
just knew in my soul, like in 
every bone in my body. 

1160
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:58,680
Wow. 
He was the one who was going to 

1161
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:01,120
see me through all of this 
craziness that I knew was 

1162
00:54:01,120 --> 00:54:02,880
coming. 
I already knew myself. 

1163
00:54:02,880 --> 00:54:05,120
I was like, I got to do this and
this and this and someone's got 

1164
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:07,200
to be there for it. 
But I think you're right, that 

1165
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:08,920
reciprocal you, you said it 
better. 

1166
00:54:08,920 --> 00:54:12,040
I can't even paraphrase it well,
but it that reciprocal ability 

1167
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:14,680
to show up for someone when you 
you're, you don't have to be the

1168
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:17,640
spotlight 100% of the time. 
It goes back and forth. 

1169
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,400
The given to you're. 
Almost proud of it, right? 

1170
00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,520
It's almost like you wear it 
with such pride, like I when I 

1171
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,440
had to stay home and I'd like, 
no, I actually can't say it's 

1172
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:26,480
just because I'm home. 
I'm holding down the Fort 

1173
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:28,760
because my man is doing this or 
my partner, right? 

1174
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:30,320
And same with him. 
He's like, I can't do this 

1175
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:32,840
because Amy's doing this. 
And I love because he will 

1176
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:36,240
unabashedly like sometimes if 
there's comments, like the 

1177
00:54:36,240 --> 00:54:38,320
craziest comments that sometimes
I would get, especially in the 

1178
00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,560
beginning, you're so lucky your 
husband lets you do this. 

1179
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:43,000
I'm like, what are you doing 
that lets me do this? 

1180
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:46,760
But he'd be like, this is such 
bullshit, like you have no idea 

1181
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:51,440
how much you bring to to our 
family, to life, to my life like

1182
00:54:51,680 --> 00:54:54,200
because of you, you serve as 
inspiration for me to do 

1183
00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:55,240
everything I've been. 
You know what I mean? 

1184
00:54:55,240 --> 00:54:58,360
All the the fun and heartwarming
stuff that we go through as 

1185
00:54:58,360 --> 00:54:59,960
couples. 
But like that is, that's it. 

1186
00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:03,040
Like finding your best friend 
and then you know. 

1187
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:06,320
I I think that's it to the 
reciprocal ability. 

1188
00:55:06,320 --> 00:55:09,440
It has to go both ways to show 
up for each other even when the 

1189
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,480
spotlight is not on you. 
I think is such an A critical 

1190
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:13,360
part. 
Of 100%. 

1191
00:55:13,680 --> 00:55:16,560
OK, I'm going to end on this and
this is just me being like petty

1192
00:55:16,560 --> 00:55:18,760
and snarky, but you know, it's 
how we're going to end. 

1193
00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,920
Oh no, I'm scared. 
No, no, don't be. 

1194
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:28,480
Have you, I'm sure early on 
before your, you know, obviously

1195
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:30,600
there was growth to your profile
and who you are now is not who 

1196
00:55:30,600 --> 00:55:32,160
you were in the beginning of all
of this. 

1197
00:55:32,560 --> 00:55:35,280
I'm sure there were people who 
rolled their eyes or like, I 

1198
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:37,080
heard I'm he's doing social 
media. 

1199
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,680
I'm he's doing this. 
Did you see her post about 

1200
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:43,640
whatever all the hateful ladies 
and men sometimes and their 

1201
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:46,000
comments? 
Did it ever get back to you and 

1202
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:48,440
have you interacted with them 
again recently? 

1203
00:55:49,560 --> 00:55:52,120
And how did that go? 
I think so, yeah, definitely. 

1204
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:54,440
And honestly, I don't. 
I love it. 

1205
00:55:54,920 --> 00:55:57,000
For me, it's something that's 
like, Oh my God, it's so great. 

1206
00:55:57,000 --> 00:56:00,160
You want to see how I'm doing. 
I mean, I'm obviously like, 

1207
00:56:00,280 --> 00:56:01,440
behind closed doors to my 
friends. 

1208
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:04,080
Like, yeah, she's really going 
to like my hair in person. 

1209
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:06,840
You know, she made fun of my 
extensions and look at her 

1210
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:08,160
wanting to know where I got them
from. 

1211
00:56:08,440 --> 00:56:11,240
Now she wants a discount card. 
I mean, I think I approached 

1212
00:56:11,240 --> 00:56:16,760
most of this stuff with humor. 
And I almost also, I feel like I

1213
00:56:16,760 --> 00:56:18,400
approached a lot of this with 
grace, like I think. 

1214
00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:21,360
That people. 
Meaning not grace like 

1215
00:56:21,360 --> 00:56:23,760
gracefully, I give people grace.
I show people out of grace 

1216
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:25,760
because just like from how you 
started the podcast, which is 

1217
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:29,960
that you realize that we all 
pass judgement so quickly and 

1218
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:32,840
I'm guilty of it too. 
And so they probably, I always 

1219
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:34,360
say I give people the benefit of
the doubt. 

1220
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:36,920
I know you pass judgement on me 
quickly because I know that now 

1221
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:38,400
that you've met me in person, 
you probably think. 

1222
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:41,080
I'm the you're such a good 
person, I'll rub it in every 

1223
00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,760
time. 
OK, that's it for this episode 

1224
00:56:43,760 --> 00:56:46,320
of Insight Thoughts Out Loud. 
Can't wait to talk to you guys 

1225
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:46,720
next time.