1 00:00:03,680 --> 00:00:08,280 Who is in your team? If you're a leading man in your 2 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:11,960 family, in your business, in your life, you have to have a 3 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,600 team. And what we're going to talk 4 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:19,440 about in today's podcast is who is in our teams and what you'll 5 00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:24,040 experience and what you'll hear as me and Paul, Oh my God, Pete, 6 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,720 me and Pete go through this. I don't know where that came 7 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:30,520 from. Me and Pete of course, through 8 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:34,760 this. You'll hear how how much 9 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:39,880 actually we've invested time, energy and relationship into 10 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:43,320 building out our teams to support us as phenomenal 11 00:00:43,320 --> 00:00:45,600 leaders. And and my selfish desire that 12 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,240 you walk away from listening to this podcast today, thinking 13 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:51,960 about your team differently, treating yourself differently as 14 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:55,760 a man, as a leader, and you're going to get so much value from 15 00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:58,400 listening in today. So, Pete, do you know? 16 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,400 Let's jump. Yeah, nuance. 17 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:04,200 Because when Ben brought this subject up to me, I immediately 18 00:01:04,239 --> 00:01:06,880 thought, thought professional team, I was like, what? 19 00:01:06,880 --> 00:01:09,760 You mean like my assistants, the guys and girls that are in my 20 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,480 team, my content, correct. And he's like, no, no, no, no, 21 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,040 no. Like your own personal team 22 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,240 absolutely goes into your professional too, but the team 23 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,160 that's backing you in life. Yeah. 24 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:27,600 And then I think that I naturally do this myself because 25 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:31,320 of my background. And I my background was in, I 26 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:34,800 started off as a an elite athlete and then I went into 27 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,080 coaching elite athletes. And part of my role as a 28 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,120 strength and conditioning coach was to build the team because I 29 00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,360 was in the team. Like I worked with sprinters, 30 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:46,640 with golfers, with footballers and what I saw in professional 31 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:50,640 sport, which coaching originally came from was that people would 32 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,280 have a team. They'd have a nutritionist, a 33 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,920 physiotherapist, a psychologist, a psychotherapist, they'd have 34 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:00,120 elite sports coaches, would have technical coaches. 35 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,560 There would be such specialism in helping people go out on the 36 00:02:04,560 --> 00:02:08,360 field or go on the track or go out onto the course in the best 37 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:12,440 place possible. And so it was a multi faceted 38 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,160 approach to helping someone perform. 39 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,640 But what I noticed when I got into, especially working with 40 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:20,080 people in life coaching and professional coaching, 41 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:23,680 leadership coaching, is that a lot of men specifically think 42 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,760 like along the lines of your typical man. 43 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,200 I don't need anyone else. I don't need help, I don't need 44 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,680 support. I can do it all myself. 45 00:02:30,120 --> 00:02:32,640 And I think you're limiting yourself if you think like that. 46 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,560 Yeah, you, you freaking really are. 47 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:40,160 Just as Ben said, you think about the, the, the best 48 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,000 athletes in the world, think about, think about Ronaldo. 49 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,320 I was talking about when I last say what a role model as a man. 50 00:02:48,040 --> 00:02:50,160 And he, because he, he's, he's actually just stepped onto 51 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:54,200 YouTube and he's, I think it's, I'm sure he's got like 52 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,400 55,000,000 subscribers in the first couple of weeks. 53 00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,880 It's crazy how, how his subscriber count. 54 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,840 He's like blowing everyone else out the water. 55 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,800 And I watched one of his videos. He's done a quick interview of 56 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:11,320 Rio Ferdinand and I, and I watched it and I was like, what? 57 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:14,960 What a specimen of a man. But here here's a guy who who is 58 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:21,040 at the the peak in, in most facets, as as a father, as a 59 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:26,640 husband, as a player, as an athlete in in all, but he's got 60 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,720 teams behind him like he's got the best coaches in the world 61 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:33,560 behind him. That's that see him performing 62 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,680 at his elite levels. Yeah. 63 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:39,000 And, and what I wanted to do with talking through this is, is 64 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:42,960 not to impress you as a listener to, but but to impress upon you 65 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:48,280 the levels that I've gone to personally to invest in my what 66 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:49,840 I would call a social support network. 67 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:54,400 My, my network that keeps me functioning at an optimal level 68 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:58,680 that I, you know, often when I'm working with someone as well, I 69 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,920 will share this network. But I thought, you know, why not 70 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:07,920 just share it on the podcast? Because I selfishly really want 71 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:11,320 more people to behave like me in this in this way, because I've 72 00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:16,560 seen so many men struggle through life thinking that they 73 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,440 don't need to go to someone, they don't need help, they don't 74 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:23,040 need support. And what I want to use the same 75 00:04:23,040 --> 00:04:25,840 as what I have. I, I spend very little time with 76 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,560 problems. I close the gap on problems so 77 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:33,200 damn darn fast that I move through things quickly. 78 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,600 So even I do come up against the inevitable blocks in business, 79 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,800 in life, in marriage, in in injury, whatever it is, I'm 80 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:45,040 quick to engineer a support system to get me through it 81 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,880 quicker. And I think that's what you need 82 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:49,280 as a leader. So what we're going to do is 83 00:04:49,280 --> 00:04:54,400 we're going to talk about our 10, the 10 people we recommend 84 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,720 or I recommend Pete recommends, talk about our experience. 85 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,280 We're also going to name drop and if we put someone's name in 86 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:04,480 the podcast, we'll put them in the the show notes as well so 87 00:05:04,480 --> 00:05:06,320 you can go and access them as well. 88 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:08,880 Pete, do you want to share anything before we get going on 89 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,200 this one? No, absolutely not. 90 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:16,400 And just if the guys and girls names aren't there for whatever 91 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,560 reason, just message one of us and we'll we'll we'll ping you 92 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,000 their details. But like here's a like prime 93 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,840 example. I was just chatting to Ben 94 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,600 before the pod started. Is that last night I'd done 95 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:32,160 myself an injury at jiu jitsu. I thought I'd cracked a rib. 96 00:05:32,240 --> 00:05:36,960 I don't think it is. It's more like muscular damage 97 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:43,560 between my ribs. But I had two, two guys who are 98 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,200 essentially professionals in this field reach out and say, 99 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,320 Pete, this is probably what's happened. 100 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,520 So it gave me way more awareness around it. 101 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,400 And here and here's here's like some protocols for you to go and 102 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:58,520 do right because I and like, so these, these are guys that are 103 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:02,080 just in my corner and rather than me dealing with this on my 104 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:04,640 own, go, oh great, I've got a fucking cracked rib or or 105 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,000 whatever for the next four to six weeks. 106 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,600 How am I going to how am I going to recover quickly? 107 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:13,200 I've already got guys in my corner, essentially my coaches 108 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:14,960 going to Pete. This is what's happened. 109 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:16,720 This is what you need to do. This is how you're going to 110 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,920 you're going to heal quicker rather than dealing with it on 111 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:24,120 my own. Yeah, and even like, so Pete's 112 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:27,160 thinking about physical injury, mind's marital conflict. 113 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:29,640 You know, I'm going to talk about people that we've got on 114 00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:31,640 our corner. I'll talk very openly about 115 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:32,800 that. You know what we're like on on 116 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,200 the podcast and like the people that I've gone to and I'm having 117 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:39,160 those people in my corner has meant that I've been able to 118 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:42,240 sort my head out before having conversations with Poppy. 119 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,400 Now, what is interesting on on this podcast, I'm not going to 120 00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:47,840 be talking about having you partner in your team. 121 00:06:48,160 --> 00:06:52,280 We could do a whole different podcast on how to create your 122 00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:55,000 relationship to help you and be more of a team. 123 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,240 That could be a whole different podcast. 124 00:06:56,480 --> 00:07:01,720 These are external contractors, coaches, consultants, supporters 125 00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:05,280 that you bring in. You often pay, but we're also 126 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,360 going to give you some definitions as well because 127 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:09,480 sometimes it can get a little bit lost, like who do I need? 128 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:13,080 So let's dive in Peaks. I think it's going to be a the 129 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,880 first one we've got. I've got and is these are in no 130 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,240 specific order, is a psychotherapist. 131 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,960 So Pete and I both use the same psychotherapist to start off 132 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:27,480 with. I started psychotherapy when I 133 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,800 was struggling with some things in coaching. 134 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:33,120 So I was coaching with Yasin and he many times said you need to 135 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,800 get yourself a psychotherapist. And I didn't really get why he 136 00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,840 kept on saying that, but he was playing the role of my mentor 137 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:43,200 and I was obviously slow in doing things because I had 138 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:47,440 material in my past that was stopping me from moving forward. 139 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:48,800 So he said, go and get a psychotherapist. 140 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,280 Go and get. Anyway, eventually I was like, 141 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:51,920 OK, I'm going to go and find a psychotherapist. 142 00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:55,880 I found a guy called Tim Woodman had psychology of anger, an 143 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:59,440 incredible psychotherapist, like really, really good. 144 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:02,040 And it was online, It was in COVID. 145 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,880 And this is my opinion about why you need a psychotherapist, 146 00:08:04,880 --> 00:08:09,000 because what happens is you cannot go forward fast if you've 147 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:13,080 got the handbrake up. So if your past is bringing 148 00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:15,960 material into the moment that's stopping you from moving 149 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:19,520 forwards, you need a good psychotherapist to help you 150 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:24,160 remove that stuff. And that's why I, I'm a board 151 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:26,920 certified psychotherapist. A high, very experienced 152 00:08:26,920 --> 00:08:29,200 psychotherapist is essential for a leader. 153 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,280 What? What's your take on that, Pete? 154 00:08:31,600 --> 00:08:37,720 Yeah, just on that the other thing, because I too use the 155 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:42,000 same psychotherapist and Tim and I will continue to use him the, 156 00:08:42,440 --> 00:08:48,520 the, the level of awareness and alternative opinion that he can 157 00:08:48,520 --> 00:08:55,160 provide against your own is massively important for you to 158 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,080 wear. Ah, OK. 159 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:59,160 There's rather than me trying to figure this shit out on my own 160 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:03,520 in my own head with my own belief system, my own, my own 161 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,840 intellect. You've got someone else who's a 162 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,400 professional who's been in the game for a very, very long time, 163 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:14,400 seen thousands of people and can provide a very different level 164 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:18,080 of awareness to give yourself a different train of thought and 165 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:20,640 go, oh, OK, actually that's a fucking really great point. 166 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,000 Now I can maybe reframe that because I didn't have that 167 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:27,560 intellect before I spoke to said psychotherapist. 168 00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,600 Yeah, I like brought Tims psychotherapy. 169 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:35,480 So a body based psychotherapy because us guys, we spend a lot 170 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,560 of times on our head a talk therapy. 171 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,280 It works to a degree like I've actually recommended people to 172 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,160 Tim and they've not enjoyed the body part. 173 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,920 But from what I understand and what I know about the body is 174 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:49,160 that there would be a a talk element that would last for 175 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,720 maybe 1020 thirty minutes and you'd be like, right, let's get 176 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:53,800 into body work. And you would. 177 00:09:53,800 --> 00:09:57,520 It was so crazy how the thing that I was talking about 178 00:09:57,520 --> 00:10:01,080 manifested in the way that I was moving or doing some of the 179 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:04,400 movements that you do with him. And it was just like game 180 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:08,160 changer for me. And so why do I think this is 181 00:10:08,160 --> 00:10:10,600 important for someone to have in their team? 182 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:14,640 Because if you're reaching middle age 30 plus, you're going 183 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:18,520 to have had some levels of trauma, struggle, challenge, 184 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,120 whatever. You frame it as a guy that you 185 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:23,880 just need to get rid of, you need to let it go, let it, let 186 00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:26,000 it pass, process it and move the fuck on. 187 00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:29,400 And I think this is a problem with so many guys is we think 188 00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:34,320 that we can do all of this stuff without external help. 189 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:38,760 And This is why I and I very, very frequently recommend a guy 190 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,120 called Tim, so a guy called Matt Gunn. 191 00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:44,040 So I'm the awake man retreats. One of the things that we've 192 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:48,120 always said is that we wanted to have the best in the world, can 193 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,560 deliver the best sessions and give guys an experience. 194 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:53,640 And so we've had Matt Gunn come over to Pete. 195 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:56,120 If you want to talk about Crete, that would be really helpful. 196 00:10:56,880 --> 00:11:01,320 Yeah, well, essentially when we some some of the retreats that 197 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:06,520 we do abroad, we will we'll go into some trauma work with guys. 198 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,320 It's because it's important. We need to uncover some of the 199 00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:13,920 shit that we suppress some and sometimes those things that 200 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:17,720 we're suppressing has been there for 10/20 plus years, 30 years. 201 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:21,600 And it's important for us to move forward in life. 202 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,680 Like Ben said earlier, lift the handbrake up is that we need to 203 00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:27,120 uncover that. And so, and, and some of the 204 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,960 deeper work that we'll do there, we'll have professionals like 205 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:38,880 Matt Gunn come over and use his, his work to release a lot the 206 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,880 trauma that's been going on deep inside. 207 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:45,560 Then the guys leave the retreat like free from that, the, the 208 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:48,160 hand breaks down and because of the other work that we do on 209 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,800 there, the accelerator's on. So you move forward in life way 210 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:55,640 way way faster. Yeah, I I totally agree. 211 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:58,720 So that's the first person, next person, I'm going to move on. 212 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,040 So psychotherapist, if you haven't got one, think about 213 00:12:01,040 --> 00:12:02,600 that. I might be giving you some links 214 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:05,480 that the next one's a coach. And here's the difference 215 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,400 between a coach and a psychotherapist. 216 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,400 A coach obviously creates the future. 217 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:12,920 So my work as a coach, Pete's work as a coach. 218 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:14,520 I don't know if Pete calls himself a coach. 219 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,000 He is a coach. He's a phenomenal coach. 220 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,800 Shouldn't call yourself a coach? I don't really, but. 221 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,400 You don't really, but Pete is an amazing coach. 222 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:25,080 I'm an amazing coach. We help people create a vision 223 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,040 for the future and then operationalise that. 224 00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:33,840 I turn that into step by step practices, habits, steps that 225 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,800 you can get there. And a really great coach is 226 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,960 about creating the future with someone. 227 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:44,520 And this is so important. Like people think that coaching 228 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,000 came from therapy, it didn't. It came from sports coaching. 229 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:50,720 It's about having a vision to win and like looking at how do 230 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:56,200 you make that work in terms of exercises, sessions, cycles and 231 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:58,640 programmes to help you get the win that you want. 232 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:02,280 So if you're a coach or if you're looking for someone to 233 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,600 help you create a a bigger vision for your future, a coach 234 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,720 is the person I would hire. Now, coaching comes in so many 235 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:13,080 different ways. In my opinion, if you can afford 236 00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:17,880 it, pay for a coach if you can. Like obviously coaching for 237 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,000 free, I've done of coach clients for free. 238 00:13:21,240 --> 00:13:23,400 There's not the same skin in the game. 239 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:27,280 Like honestly, this is something where if you want to create an 240 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:31,120 incredible future, I would say it's an imperative for a leader, 241 00:13:31,120 --> 00:13:34,160 especially of a business into into the six figures. 242 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:36,880 If you, if you're running a business that there's over six 243 00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:42,400 figures, you absolutely need a coach because it will shift the 244 00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:44,880 way that you run that business exponentially. 245 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:48,120 The hour you spend in that coaching session will pay a 246 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,640 dividend back that is 10 times the amount that you're spending 247 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,920 in the coaching. Yeah, and, and, and sometimes 248 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:58,840 that, that 10X is a media. Other times that 10X is five 249 00:13:58,840 --> 00:14:01,800 years down the line when you're, when you're like, do you know 250 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,800 what? What I, what that guy taught me 251 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:08,000 five years ago, I'm now actually ready physically, emotionally, 252 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,880 mentally to embody that. And then you and then you take 253 00:14:10,880 --> 00:14:14,320 it on. Then it's like the, the results 254 00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,600 you get from coaching is exponential. 255 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:23,080 It's like it's limitless. Yeah, I think that the, the, 256 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,760 the, the old school kind of style of coaching is like 257 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,800 one-on-one. It's in a, you know, on a call. 258 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:32,920 It's very like a safe container of time where you and your coach 259 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,080 go in to talk about you. But there's very many, like 260 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,400 there's many permutations. So in the awake man, Pete runs a 261 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:43,560 hot seat where you will coach. It's it's one-on-one coaching 262 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:47,320 done in front of a group of men. Now there's a difference with 263 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,600 that. There's a different charge 264 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,840 because you're there, you're you're being coached and the 265 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:57,120 commitment you make is is 10X it's it's charged with a lot of 266 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,880 what's the word for accountability. 267 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:02,240 And that's what I think how modern, more modern coaching 268 00:15:02,240 --> 00:15:05,800 styles are moving because it's like when you make a commitment 269 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,960 in front of a group of men to go and do the things to make a 270 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,640 great future, it is super, super powerful. 271 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,280 So I think that's worth bearing in mind. 272 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,480 It doesn't have to be the old school. 273 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:17,200 You sit in a chair in front of someone. 274 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:18,920 There's so many ways this can be done. 275 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:23,160 And having a coach is just, you know, like I said, I think it's 276 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:26,000 an absolute essential in your team. 277 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,800 Yeah, yeah, And I think some of this just depends on where 278 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:33,840 you're at in life and and what's like next for you, because it 279 00:15:33,840 --> 00:15:35,800 might be like, do you know what I, I want to do some work on my 280 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,440 relationships and maybe then there's a relationship coach or 281 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:41,240 it's like, do you know what actually I want to get back into 282 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:45,360 the like, I know dating coaching is now is now a bit of a thing. 283 00:15:45,880 --> 00:15:48,080 And if you want to get back into the dating game, then maybe it's 284 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:52,080 a dating coach for like for me personally, I've been I've over 285 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:58,000 the last ten years have employed many mindset of business 286 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000 coaches. That's the predominantly what I 287 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,120 have been employing is mindset and business. 288 00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:05,520 Yeah, I am. Like I hired a coach a couple of 289 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,480 years ago and it was not last year, it was. 290 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:12,720 And I I the one thing I wanted to work through in that coaching 291 00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:15,320 agreement was conflict. I what? 292 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:19,520 Which was what I help a lot of other people with when I coached 293 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:22,240 them, like marital conflict, relationship conflict, hard 294 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,040 conversations. Yeah, I just was getting in my 295 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:27,800 own way, in my own stuff, in my own relationship. 296 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,800 And I created an agreement with the coach. 297 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:34,840 I worked solely on being more, being way better in conflict 298 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,800 before I got married. And it was so, so important, so 299 00:16:37,800 --> 00:16:40,400 helpful. So I that's a really, really 300 00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,600 important move that you can make is like, there might be 301 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,360 something very specific that you want to work on. 302 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,920 And a coach can be the best person to work. 303 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:50,440 And that's the good thing about niche coaches, that they they 304 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,360 become very good at this very specific thing. 305 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:57,240 Yeah, and one, one of the most popular forms of coaching here 306 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:03,120 is fitness coaching, right Is like I I had a coach guy called 307 00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:06,560 Tom Ford. I highly, highly recommend 308 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:12,520 TomTom coached me for eight or nine years and like through my 309 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,599 fitness jerk and I'm I'm fit. I've been fit for a long time. 310 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:18,839 I actually know what I'm doing, but I still have Tom as a coach 311 00:17:18,839 --> 00:17:22,680 because he's just always, always kept me in check, kept me in 312 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:27,079 line, kept me accountable. Like he's like he's the expert 313 00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:29,560 in that field. So when anything, whenever 314 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,440 anything came up to do with my diet or my nutrition or just 315 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,800 like I had niggle in my training or I had like he would be like, 316 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,480 right, Pete, change this or or or go down this route, do these 317 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,480 forms of stretching, whatever that looks like to make me to 318 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:47,480 essentially get me back up to where I should be or improve me. 319 00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:49,800 I always had time in my corner to do that. 320 00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:52,200 Yeah. I think, I think that's where 321 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,760 like I would say that's more of a trainer role. 322 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,960 I think a coach is more about extraction. 323 00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:00,800 Like, I think that's something that you, I know we could get 324 00:18:00,800 --> 00:18:06,800 into semantics a little bit as well, but I think what what you 325 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,800 can have with, especially with fitness, people's like a 326 00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:10,680 prescription, they're constantly prescribing, you know, to do 327 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,160 this next say, oh, you OK, you need to do this. 328 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:16,600 And I think that's more of a trainer, a coach extracts like 329 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,560 asks great questions, guides you, leads you to your own 330 00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:21,200 answers. And I think that's what you do 331 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,360 really well, Pete. I do well is that if you watch a 332 00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:27,400 hot seat coaching session with Pete, he's not often telling 333 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:29,280 guys what to do. He's asking them questions, 334 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,920 leading them to the point where they actually think it's their 335 00:18:31,920 --> 00:18:34,640 idea. And it's not that he's, you get 336 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,160 what I mean? It's not like, but he's like, 337 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,400 OK, well, you ask the obvious question. 338 00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,200 They're like, oh, yeah. But because they come to their 339 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,400 own conclusion, they do the they make the change themselves. 340 00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:50,240 And this is the difference between telling and guiding and 341 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,480 asking. And I think this is such an 342 00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,200 important part for behaviour change. 343 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,920 So having a good coach who can coach is important. 344 00:18:58,080 --> 00:18:59,840 OK, let's let's go to the next one. 345 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,680 A mentor. What's your experience of a 346 00:19:03,680 --> 00:19:06,480 mentor? I've had mentors for years. 347 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:13,680 I would probably say Yazeen, who is Co founder of the Awakened 348 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:19,880 Man was probably my first mentor. 349 00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:24,960 Yeah, my first like official mentor was, was Yazeen. 350 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:30,280 And I initially wanted Yazeen in my life to help you with my 351 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,440 business. And then it, it's like I soon 352 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:35,680 found out it wasn't as such about the business. 353 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:37,000 It was about everything else in life. 354 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:42,240 But really in, in a mentor, it's like you're looking at their 355 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,840 experience in what you are looking to achieve. 356 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,920 It's like they've not read a book and then are coaching you 357 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,040 on it. They've gone through the thing 358 00:19:51,040 --> 00:19:52,960 they are experienced in doing that thing. 359 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,240 They have what you want. And then they are giving you 360 00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,080 their their wisdom and their guidance and their knowledge on 361 00:19:59,080 --> 00:20:01,480 how they have done that. Yeah, yeah, I think the 362 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:04,920 distinction here is that I, I don't think a coach has to 363 00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:08,800 achieve, has to have achieved what you want to achieve like I 364 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,120 have. I have clients who make way more 365 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:16,680 money than me, but I can I can coach them because they're my 366 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:19,080 level of consciousness and my level of ability and 367 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:23,400 relationship and conflict is way sometimes supersedes that. 368 00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,840 And equally, it's like Alex Ferguson didn't need to be a 369 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,120 better technician than Ronaldo to be able to coach him. 370 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:32,800 He just needed to be a great coach, whereas a mentor, I think 371 00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:36,120 Pete's dead right there is that they have to achieve, have 372 00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:37,480 achieved what you want to achieve. 373 00:20:37,480 --> 00:20:40,720 I think that's how I see it. Like I see that the same thing. 374 00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:44,600 So having a mentor, I know that chief talk about this is that 375 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:48,240 I've got a client I used to train in the gym and he had a 376 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:49,920 mentor, which was Bernie Eccleston. 377 00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,840 So Bernie Eccleston, the owner of F1, the way that his 378 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:56,280 mentoring was set up was Bernie Eccleston would give him a phone 379 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:59,880 call, say meet me at this restaurant in Sydney, the New 380 00:20:59,880 --> 00:21:04,680 York, Dubai, wherever F1 was. And I'll mentor you for that was 381 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,760 his mentoring. And he he flew across the world, 382 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,640 go to a, you know, swanky restaurant, have dinner with 383 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,560 Bernie and then come home. That was his. 384 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,320 And he would do it maybe once or twice a year. 385 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:15,720 That was how his mentoring was set up. 386 00:21:15,720 --> 00:21:20,400 So don't get so confused that mentoring has to be like weekly 387 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:24,840 or, you know, on a call, I recently had a, a real estate 388 00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:28,080 owner and he said, I'm actually Ben, I'm, you know, I know 389 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,400 you're my coach, but I'm looking for a mentor. 390 00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:33,480 And I was like, go and speak to the CEOs of the best real estate 391 00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:36,640 firms in Dubai and say, listen, you know, I've got a new company 392 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,840 I'm building it. Would you be open to mentoring 393 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,800 me? And sometimes you do actually 394 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:42,800 have to find these. And do you know what there is 395 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:46,400 actually a thing, especially for men where they want to have that 396 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:48,400 ability to pass on their knowledge to someone. 397 00:21:48,400 --> 00:21:51,480 It's the, it's a give them back. So I think you can leverage that 398 00:21:51,480 --> 00:21:55,360 a little bit because when someone's super successful, when 399 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:58,920 you show up as a start up as a new fresh faced person looking 400 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,040 to build your business and you're ballsy enough to go and 401 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:02,920 say, listen, like can you help me? 402 00:22:04,040 --> 00:22:09,920 In my experience, there's always been a lot of good will placed 403 00:22:09,920 --> 00:22:14,080 in those relationships as well. Yeah, I mentor a couple of guys 404 00:22:14,080 --> 00:22:16,040 now. Yeah, like young, like younger 405 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,280 guys. I get, I, I get a lot of 406 00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:21,840 fulfilment from it, right? And that's, and they've come and 407 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,920 they've asked. So yeah, like having mentors has 408 00:22:27,040 --> 00:22:31,080 has been critical pinnacle in my in my personal growth. 409 00:22:31,440 --> 00:22:33,720 Yeah, so that needs to form part of your team. 410 00:22:33,720 --> 00:22:37,120 The next one is the way I'm going to say this is like a 411 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:41,640 physiotherapist, chiropractor massage, whoever that like 412 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:45,400 physical body work treatment, who's going to be the person you 413 00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:49,040 go to and build a relationship with that starts to understand 414 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,600 and know your body. So I actually used to drive down 415 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:58,560 to Pete's house when when we were like doing days and I would 416 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,120 always go and see my chiropractor. 417 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:02,480 So like I had a chiropractor that I used to get to drive up 418 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:06,480 to my gym and fix all my clients because he's amazing. 419 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:10,480 And like in the whole of the UKI was willing to drive for four 420 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:12,880 hours to go and see a chiropractor, that he was that 421 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:16,360 good because he, I knew that I would spend money with him, he'd 422 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:19,000 fix me and then I would have success. 423 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:23,200 I'd feel better afterwards. And that's the level I'd been to 424 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,760 him for like 4 or five years and I'd not gone anywhere elsewhere. 425 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:30,920 Having like a physio, a chiro, a massage therapist. 426 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,080 I got a simple doctor stretch in the UAE. 427 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:36,160 It's amazing. Which is like a combination of 428 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:40,200 the three things together. Have that person in your team. 429 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:44,480 Because if you can't train, if you can't move, you've got back 430 00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:49,320 pain, it's going to seriously inhibit your, your ability to 431 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:51,760 function as a guy. Like I think a guy needs to 432 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,720 train, needs to move, needs to do exercise as his biggest tool 433 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:59,760 for defending himself against ill health and I'll mental 434 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,840 health. So I think that's an important 435 00:24:01,840 --> 00:24:03,720 one. Yeah, do you know what? 436 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,720 That's actually one that I'm lacking because literally 437 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:11,600 yesterday I, I picked up Leo from nursery and Leo holding my 438 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:15,960 hand and when he was walking with me, it was, it was hurting 439 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:18,800 because my ribs like him literally just holding my hand. 440 00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:20,640 It was hurting. And I was thinking, do you know 441 00:24:20,640 --> 00:24:24,080 if I, if I was just to get in a scuffle right now, I've 442 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:27,000 literally, this is from jiu jitsu, me learning how to fight, 443 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:32,200 I'd be next to useless because of my body's in bits. 444 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,080 So, yeah, actually that's an, that's an actual area that I 445 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:40,520 have not got in London is the team of yeah, chiropractor 446 00:24:40,600 --> 00:24:43,640 physics that happened. I, I spent ages looking for one 447 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:47,360 in Dubai, I think spent the thick end of about 600, seven, 448 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:50,800 £100 before I found the right one. 449 00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,640 I'd been to like 4 different. I went to an osteopath, went to 450 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,440 a chiropractor. I went to different ones a 451 00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,800 couple of times. I felt no different when I 452 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,680 walked out to walk, when I walked in. 453 00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:06,280 And then I found this one guy, he's from Cardiff really good. 454 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:10,320 And he just, yeah, I just immediately slightly sorted my 455 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:13,160 back out. So I think you've got to be 456 00:25:13,160 --> 00:25:17,280 willing to, you know, go, you know, go through, kiss a few 457 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,760 frogs in so many words because that sometimes you might have 458 00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:22,800 someone, they they could be highly qualified, they could 459 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:24,920 have a good track record, but you just don't gel with them. 460 00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,400 I think with bodywork, it's just as important as the relationship 461 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:31,760 as it was with a coach where people don't often see it like 462 00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:34,520 that. It's like I've had like I had 463 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:40,840 someone I went to in Cardiff and she was the, the GB physio and I 464 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:44,920 went in there in pain with my foot and I came out in more pain 465 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,640 and the, the pain never went. And like I was like, oh, she's 466 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:48,600 so good. She's so good. 467 00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,280 And I'm like, well, she wasn't terrible for me. 468 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:52,800 But yeah, everyone else sang the praises. 469 00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,720 So you've got to be able to find that right person. 470 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:58,520 But once you find that right person, be willing to do things 471 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:02,600 like freaking travel to get to see them, because this back 472 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:06,840 problems, neck problems, all sorts of things inhibit you 473 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,440 enormously in terms of your performance. 474 00:26:09,800 --> 00:26:14,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. To find a way to optimize and 475 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,520 keep your health. Because when you haven't got 476 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:18,920 your health, everything else is fucking. 477 00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,560 What's the one thing you want when you're when you're sick? 478 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:22,880 It's that you want to get better. 479 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,640 There's nothing else you want. And just sticking on healthier 480 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:31,960 like someone that someone that I do have in my team is I do have 481 00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:37,520 a health consultant like he he like is a guy called a JAJ 482 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:42,160 superhuman. And I employed AJ like two years 483 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,040 ago to sort out my gut health, to do my bloods and to sort out 484 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,160 my gut. And it was one of the best 485 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:51,240 decisions I have ever made. Touch word. 486 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:53,080 I have not been sick in two years. 487 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:54,560 Now, you were getting sick a lot, weren't you? 488 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:57,280 Like you were like. All the time I all, every time I 489 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:01,200 travelled, I get sick like. I get sick like 5-6 times a year 490 00:27:01,760 --> 00:27:03,560 now. I haven't been sick in two years 491 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,440 and my health is really, really great. 492 00:27:05,440 --> 00:27:08,920 But but AJ is still in my team. So even when I'm so when I moved 493 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,840 to London recently, I was like, I'm moving to London. 494 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,760 I'm going to come out of all this like beautiful fresh air, 495 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:17,920 clean air that I've got in the countryside into the big, 496 00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,880 literally the big smoke. I'm going to be on tubes. 497 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,520 There's going to be loads and loads of people. 498 00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,680 And I'm like, I'm like got a hold of AJ. 499 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,640 I'm like, dude, this is my new situation. 500 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:31,200 Anything that I should add into my supplement stack or, or be 501 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:33,200 aware of? And he, he gave me some advice 502 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,480 is that, yeah, do this and do this, that that should, that 503 00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:37,360 should keep you good, keep you going. 504 00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:43,080 If if you start getting sniffy noses, start doing this like. 505 00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,280 Otherwise, I've just been figuring that out on my own. 506 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:49,800 Yeah, the the way to look at this, especially if you are a, a 507 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:53,640 high net worth guy, like if you're earning over six figures 508 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:58,280 or you like you're in your own company being paid over a six 509 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:02,440 figure salary, think about what it costs you to be ill for a 510 00:28:02,440 --> 00:28:05,600 week. And it's it's a significant 511 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:06,960 amount. If you actually work out, it's 512 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:10,720 quite a significant amount. And then you look at what you'd 513 00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:12,320 probably spend with one of these people. 514 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:16,440 So when you start to see these bills of like 200 and 5300 lbs, 515 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,000 £500 a session, whatever it is, like, especially with a lot of 516 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,400 these people we're talking about, you start to go, oh, 517 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:24,720 that's actually nothing. That's actually a small amount. 518 00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,960 Like that's actually relatively really small. 519 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,000 And the problem I think that a lot of guys have is that they 520 00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:32,320 don't look at it like that. They just look at it as a pure 521 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,240 cost because of their values, their values on other things. 522 00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:37,680 That's AP. If I didn't have all these 523 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:41,360 people that I worked with, I'd have a Porsche because I value 524 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:44,600 my health and self development and my highest value leadership 525 00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:46,840 and I like and these like shut up bands. 526 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,520 Go and get the Jeep. Yeah, what? 527 00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:51,320 Dude, why not have both? Yeah, exactly. 528 00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:53,960 I think it's I actually have, you know, I've cut down, cut 529 00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:55,720 down. But yeah, the OK, let's move 530 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:57,920 into the next one because I think that's going to talk a lot 531 00:28:57,920 --> 00:29:03,360 about this one, the group. So I think like knowing what I 532 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:10,240 know now about the experience that I've had, every man needs a 533 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:14,520 group end of like every. But this is not a 534 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,160 recommendation. This is a need. 535 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,800 It's like you, of all of these things, I think this is probably 536 00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:23,720 the most important one. Yeah, absolutely, fucking 537 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:29,480 absolutely. Just every man needs a group and 538 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:34,760 the right, the right group, right, the group that's going to 539 00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:38,680 see you grow, that's going to be there when you go through the 540 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,200 fucking dark times, that's going to be there when you go through 541 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:46,160 the fucking great times. And, and, and you to always have 542 00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:49,360 the outlet, always know that you've got the backing from the 543 00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:52,440 from you guys. So, so fucking important. 544 00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:57,280 I was with someone a couple of nights ago and we're we're out 545 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:58,800 for dinner. We're having a long, long chat. 546 00:29:58,800 --> 00:30:03,440 This is another guy and he hasn't got this. 547 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:11,880 He is in his 40s and he he hasn't, he's got one close 548 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:18,120 friend and he was like, well, The thing is, I'm in my 40s now. 549 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:21,240 I'm not really interested in going out and finding new groups 550 00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,880 of mates and build and building new connections. 551 00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:28,240 And like the guys that did know me and like have moved away like 552 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:30,160 they've known me for like 20-30 years. 553 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:34,720 How will I, how will anyone ever build that sort of connection 554 00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:36,080 with me? What now? 555 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,400 So what they're going to build that connection with me until 556 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:41,960 I'm 60. Like, and in his head it was 557 00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,080 just like, no, it's just, it's just, it's just not going to 558 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,240 happen. And I completely challenge that. 559 00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:49,640 And I'm like, dude, that that is the level of people that you are 560 00:30:49,640 --> 00:30:51,440 around. I can tell you that I've got 561 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:53,600 relationships with guys that I've known for six months. 562 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,400 They know me deeper than the guys some of my school friends 563 00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:00,000 have known for 2020 years. And it's the, and it's the level 564 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,000 of consciousness of the guys that you are around. 565 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:05,520 If you're around conscious men that you, you go deep with them 566 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,800 super, super quick and you build, you build that that 567 00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:12,120 intimacy in a, in a friendship very, very quickly with the 568 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:16,880 right group. Yeah, I, I can't say enough 569 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,120 about how important this is as part of your team. 570 00:31:19,120 --> 00:31:23,320 Like this is, it's almost now like as soon as you you're 571 00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,680 listening to it, like honestly listen to this podcast and just 572 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:26,880 think to yourself, who's my group? 573 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,200 And I think what Pete said there as well was it's not the group 574 00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:33,200 that you go for. Just go for a couple of pints 575 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,920 with your mates. If that's what you enjoy, That's 576 00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:37,920 that's good connection if that's what fills your solo, if it 577 00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:38,960 connects you with your school mates. 578 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:43,840 But what I'm talking about is a group of men to disclose things 579 00:31:44,280 --> 00:31:48,800 that are hard about business life, relationship, all that 580 00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:51,520 sort of stuff in a way that works for you as well. 581 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:52,720 It doesn't need to be a big group. 582 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:57,320 It could be a group of 2-3 guys, idea 3 as a group. 583 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:01,560 Or it could be very similar to AMP where you'll you'll get 584 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,680 between how many guys you'll get in a group in a group call. 585 00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:09,040 In AMP at the moment there's fifty guys, you know, we'll have 586 00:32:09,040 --> 00:32:10,960 20 guys on a call. Yeah. 587 00:32:11,360 --> 00:32:14,320 And, and I think what's great about a group is that a lot of 588 00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,560 the time you can sit there and a guy will talk about their 589 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:21,200 struggles and challenges and you're processing your own 590 00:32:21,200 --> 00:32:23,440 without having to say anything. I think that works really well 591 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:27,000 for guys as well. So having a group is part of 592 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:30,160 your team and that is that is so important. 593 00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:33,760 Yeah, that's, that's The thing is this is what I've learnt from 594 00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:36,600 having the heroic man and awakened man. 595 00:32:36,720 --> 00:32:39,520 And in those groups I talk about my shit. 596 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:42,360 I'd like I talked about what was going on with me a couple of 597 00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:45,640 days ago with all the guys and the guys are just listening. 598 00:32:45,640 --> 00:32:47,640 And then so, so much from the armour. 599 00:32:47,640 --> 00:32:49,560 Pete, fucking completely relate to that. 600 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,400 I'm so glad you said that. I was. 601 00:32:51,480 --> 00:32:53,400 I've been thinking that recently myself. 602 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:57,760 But what I've also learnt from being part of a group is that 603 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,400 they help you build the rest of your team because they because 604 00:33:01,400 --> 00:33:03,960 those group members, whether there's three of them or whether 605 00:33:03,960 --> 00:33:07,800 there's thirty of them, they also have team members like AJ, 606 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,680 my superhuman health guy, I got him from the awakened man. 607 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,440 One of the other guys in there knew him was like Pete, this was 608 00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,520 two years ago. Pete talked to AJ. 609 00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:21,800 You build a great group of guys. You'll you'll build the rest of 610 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,360 your team. Yeah, that's, that's very true. 611 00:33:24,560 --> 00:33:27,280 That's very true. Next one. 612 00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:29,840 And I think this is important. This is something that 613 00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:35,800 especially for guys looking to explore different ways to 614 00:33:35,800 --> 00:33:39,840 optimise themselves and their mindset, their body, which is a 615 00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:43,720 breath work coach. So I've used a lot of different 616 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:45,440 coaches, like breath work coaches. 617 00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:49,360 Me and Pete did some work over in Dubai together. 618 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:53,280 So we used a lady called Constan, says Witzel. 619 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:58,280 I think Switzel or Witzel, she's a German breath work coach based 620 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:01,280 in Dubai. And it was interesting like, and 621 00:34:01,280 --> 00:34:03,920 I think that what was interesting is since the last 622 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:07,480 like six months a year, I've actually gone to way more female 623 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,239 coaches. I'd never had a female coach 624 00:34:10,239 --> 00:34:14,000 until this year. I'd never even like I'd had 625 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:19,000 maybe like a couple of female Massachusetts and what's it 626 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,719 called physios, but never a mindset coach. 627 00:34:23,639 --> 00:34:26,199 And this year I I enrolled with Kristen Sargent. 628 00:34:26,199 --> 00:34:28,840 I worked with Kristen for from the tools group who worked with 629 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,040 Phil Stutz and I also had constancy. 630 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:36,280 But I think what constancy does really, really well is that she 631 00:34:37,080 --> 00:34:39,840 creates a really, really safe space. 632 00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:42,719 She's a great she's got a very melodic, gentle voice. 633 00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:48,120 She's very powerful. She's she just the, the space 634 00:34:48,120 --> 00:34:50,239 that we did the, the work in Pete, you know, you can talk 635 00:34:50,239 --> 00:34:52,560 about it's like literally you're looking at you're overlooking 636 00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:57,280 the Burj Al Arab. It's very like opulent, 637 00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,000 beautiful. The space is really good. 638 00:34:59,040 --> 00:35:02,640 And then we did some work in there and I just, I kept on 639 00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,360 going every week, every single week, I would have a one to one 640 00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:09,480 private session and I would talk about anything that's coming up 641 00:35:09,480 --> 00:35:12,120 in my life, like in my relationship, I would do the 642 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:16,240 breath work and it's like an hour of hard breath. 643 00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:20,600 You're working the breath and it may as well be you're taking 644 00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:27,800 what's called like like drugs. You know what? 645 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:30,080 It literally what's the word? What's? 646 00:35:31,280 --> 00:35:33,280 Your DMT. Yeah, what's the word? 647 00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:36,680 There's Psycho. Psychedelics. 648 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:41,600 Psychedelics, you know, you, you get the same level of insight 649 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:45,240 that you can from psychedelics, so very powerful. 650 00:35:45,240 --> 00:35:47,280 I mean, it just opens up a different level of 651 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:49,840 consciousness. So I think having a breath work 652 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:53,040 coach is, you know, there's another guy, James Tremaine, 653 00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:57,120 he's phenomenal over in Ibiza. There's Constance, there's Mark 654 00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,400 Granley we mentioned before, very, very good people are 655 00:36:00,400 --> 00:36:01,840 working with the breath. Yeah. 656 00:36:02,400 --> 00:36:06,640 And also, and this is another reason that going back to the 657 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:09,400 group, you know, if you pick the right group, they'll do this 658 00:36:09,400 --> 00:36:11,720 sort of work. We, we did this sort of work in 659 00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:15,360 Awakened and the Heroic Man. Every event that I put on the 660 00:36:15,360 --> 00:36:20,080 event that I've got in on the 14th and 15th of September in 661 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,600 London, we will be doing breath work. 662 00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:27,600 Like so I have Amelia that comes in and that does that breath 663 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:31,000 work with all the guys. It is fucking phenomenal. 664 00:36:31,120 --> 00:36:34,640 Like you can get you guys get transformation and choose 665 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:36,800 shifts. Yeah, I think, I think. 666 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,120 I think that like for me, the reason I put it in my team is 667 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:43,560 it's like an instant stress remover. 668 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,680 Like you get guys that you know, when we've done work together 669 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:50,400 with the with the groups, like guys like walk over to you after 670 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:53,880 they're like, Oh my God, like I just can't believe I feel so 671 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,480 good. I feel so good. 672 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:58,800 I feel so like present relaxed when. 673 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:03,080 We did this last month. I had one of the guys say, Pete, 674 00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,080 this is the first time in my life that I've seen myself. 675 00:37:06,680 --> 00:37:09,880 He's in his 40s. Yeah, after doing breath work. 676 00:37:10,600 --> 00:37:12,520 Yeah. And I think so it's a, it's a 677 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:18,160 legal way to access that level of, of of. 678 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,480 Yeah. Consciousness without having to 679 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,480 inhibit your performance the following day or later in the 680 00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:28,960 afternoon. So OK, next one is, is a 681 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:31,320 marriage counsellor and like this is, is interesting. 682 00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:35,040 And, and I think Pete, if we can look for someone on the pod, if 683 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:38,200 you listen to this pod and you know, A and we're looking for 684 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:43,120 like a world class counsellor because I've had someone who 685 00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:44,800 asked me to abandon, you know, marriage counsellor. 686 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:47,040 I was like, I don't actually know a marriage counsellor, but 687 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,320 this person, I think that you should. 688 00:37:49,840 --> 00:37:53,680 I would like Night like to have this person ready for when the 689 00:37:53,680 --> 00:37:56,200 inevitable might show up in my relationship. 690 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:59,680 Yeah. And like actually fair to Yasin. 691 00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:03,120 Yasin, I would take all of my. The thing about the what's 692 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:06,920 different about marriage counsellor and a coach is like I 693 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:10,320 would work on myself in my relationship by talking to Yasin 694 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:13,720 and he would challenge me and push me and show me things that 695 00:38:13,720 --> 00:38:16,920 I wasn't thinking about. Whereas a marriage counsellor, 696 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:20,120 you both go together and you have conversations in front of 697 00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:23,520 the counsellor, which I think is really powerful. 698 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,120 And I think that those two things work together. 699 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,520 You have to be working on yourself, but you also have to 700 00:38:27,520 --> 00:38:30,360 be working with when the inevitable comes up. 701 00:38:30,640 --> 00:38:35,360 I'll tell you what team I'd I'm not in a relationship at the 702 00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:39,200 moment. I'm dating the the next like 703 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:43,400 deep, meaningful and like longer term relationship that I get 704 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:45,080 into. This is something that I will 705 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:51,000 absolutely be seeking out and but not not with the intention 706 00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:54,120 of getting this person in when times are bad. 707 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,280 It's that or like times are getting. 708 00:38:56,320 --> 00:39:00,160 It's actually because like this is a study done by it's like the 709 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:02,120 got one institute who's who's studied this. 710 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:06,720 And it's like if when you go to relationship counselling and and 711 00:39:06,720 --> 00:39:11,480 marriage counselling, they look at it in a, in a point scale and 712 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:16,840 like, so points between zero to 10/10/10 being ultimate 713 00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:18,720 relationship, you're doing really well. 714 00:39:18,720 --> 00:39:21,880 It's the, it's very, very, very, very high likelihood that you 715 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:26,720 will be there for the long term. 0 being right. 716 00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:30,840 But they're, they're also like if, if the relationship is, is 717 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:35,760 anything below A7, so six and six and below, it's a low 718 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:37,320 likelihood. It's actually not going to last 719 00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:42,120 a long term. So if you're in a relationship 720 00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,000 and then and you're looking at and you're thinking, do you know 721 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,800 what, on a scale of one to 10 right now, my relationship's 722 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:50,560 probably a level 4 or level 5, you're already in a bad 723 00:39:50,560 --> 00:39:54,760 position. And what the, the study said is 724 00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:58,480 that a counsellor, if they are good, they are able to take the, 725 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:03,200 the point scale up by two. So if it's if it's if it's a 726 00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,560 four or five now and they and they only take it up to A6 or 727 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:09,920 A7, you're still on the brink of it not lasting for a long time. 728 00:40:10,320 --> 00:40:12,400 Whereas if it's, if you're like, oh, do you know, it's a six and 729 00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:17,280 A7 now, So it's, it's good, go and see a specialist now and 730 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:20,560 take it up to an 8 or a nine. Like go deeper with them now 731 00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:24,560 rather than like waiting until it's shit's hitting the fan. 732 00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:27,600 Let's go and see a counsellor. Yeah, and I think it's almost 733 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:31,000 like one of these things work in isolation. 734 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,520 I think that they all work together. 735 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,720 They're synergistic. Like if you, if you've got a 736 00:40:34,720 --> 00:40:37,320 psychotherapist and you've done your own work, you'll be better 737 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:39,600 in counselling and coaching and marital coaching. 738 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:44,280 If you are doing your own work with a group of guys, working 739 00:40:44,280 --> 00:40:46,360 out your own shit, you're probably going to be better in 740 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,000 your relationship anyway. You're going to be able to take 741 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:51,400 more responsibility. You're going to be more adult 742 00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:54,120 and you're going to be more masculine and mature around the 743 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,520 the conversations you're having in these environments. 744 00:40:56,880 --> 00:41:02,120 I think that it would be, maybe it would be like not as good an 745 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:05,560 investment if you went to marriage counselling and you 746 00:41:05,560 --> 00:41:08,040 hadn't done personal work. If you weren't taking 747 00:41:08,040 --> 00:41:11,640 responsibility, if you had all of your own traumas and patterns 748 00:41:11,640 --> 00:41:14,760 from your parents just playing out into your marriage and you 749 00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:17,480 went to marriage counselling. It's almost like a waste of cash 750 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:18,960 because you're the fricking issue. 751 00:41:19,040 --> 00:41:21,920 And like, that's the like, that's what happens with so many 752 00:41:21,920 --> 00:41:24,920 guys is that they think that, Oh yeah, I went to marriage 753 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:26,920 counselling and it didn't work. It's like, yeah, because you're 754 00:41:27,240 --> 00:41:31,400 fricking so trapped in your patterns and shit that you 755 00:41:31,400 --> 00:41:35,240 haven't given it the chance. So I think you do have to have a 756 00:41:35,240 --> 00:41:38,400 level of consciousness in your relationship to be able to 757 00:41:38,400 --> 00:41:41,280 access that properly. Because I think back, if I was 758 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:45,720 to go to marital counselling with my previous wife, that 759 00:41:45,720 --> 00:41:47,240 would never have, like, gone well. 760 00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:50,440 Like, it would have been like I had a level of consciousness 761 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,160 that she would not have even talked. 762 00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:54,160 I imagine it would have been very, very difficult. 763 00:41:54,520 --> 00:42:00,200 So I do think that you do need to make sure you have a level of 764 00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:03,720 consciousness at which you've created and all of those other 765 00:42:03,720 --> 00:42:07,080 things. Yes, I completely agree. 766 00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:10,600 Yeah, OK. The next one is a confidant. 767 00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:13,400 And I actually, I put Pete on that, you know, Pete's my 768 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,400 confidant. I pretty much tell Pete 769 00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:17,600 anything. Like I'll tell Pete all sorts of 770 00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,960 stuff. And I've also got Lee, my my 771 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,400 buddy from school because I have the frequency with Dubai with 772 00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:26,720 him. We'd run every morning and and 773 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:31,160 sometimes I would be just like moaning and whining about life, 774 00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:33,360 you know, just to get it out, like venting. 775 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:34,960 And he'd have to say, come on, man. 776 00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:38,320 You know, you've been, you've been like low on, on the on the 777 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,280 the life Scalia man, just come on, chin up. 778 00:42:41,800 --> 00:42:46,400 But equally he would, he would vent about his life and we would 779 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,800 run in the desert and talk and I'd come back and I'd be like, 780 00:42:48,840 --> 00:42:50,200 that's my therapy done for the day. 781 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:54,640 It was having a confidant is is not necessarily someone who's 782 00:42:54,640 --> 00:42:56,760 trained. It's just someone that you 783 00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,160 trust. Like I'm going to tell you 784 00:42:58,160 --> 00:43:00,120 something. I know I don't even need to pre 785 00:43:00,120 --> 00:43:01,280 frame that. It doesn't go anywhere. 786 00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:05,800 I was going to say something to you and just by you being you 787 00:43:06,720 --> 00:43:08,760 disclosing that. And I think because being you've 788 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,640 done so much stuff together, Pete, I had that connection with 789 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:15,440 you and I and I think that's really valuable. 790 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:18,400 And a lot of guys don't sadly don't have that. 791 00:43:18,400 --> 00:43:19,920 Like that's something they don't have. 792 00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:28,000 Yeah, or they do have it, but it's how do I want to say this? 793 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,040 I, I, I'll just give you an example is that you, you have, 794 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:33,840 you have someone that's close to you, but when you do talk about 795 00:43:33,840 --> 00:43:39,000 it, they project back onto you or they're one up you or they'll 796 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:42,600 just actually just won't let you talk or they'll just try and fix 797 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:45,960 it for you. And, and so you can come away 798 00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:48,120 from from your confident conversation and go. 799 00:43:48,120 --> 00:43:51,200 I don't actually fucking get much from that because then 800 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:54,160 actually say everything I wanted to say or the other person 801 00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:57,120 actually just flipped it onto their life and their story. 802 00:43:57,120 --> 00:44:03,560 And so it's like you, you have a real strong partner here who 803 00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:08,760 doesn't project onto themselves or doesn't like one up you with 804 00:44:08,760 --> 00:44:10,800 the story and does fucking listen. 805 00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,480 It's extremely powerful. Yeah. 806 00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:15,800 Have you heard about your rim feet? 807 00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:17,400 You should see my Achilles mouth. 808 00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:23,160 No, I got it. Yeah, I, I, I experienced this 809 00:44:23,160 --> 00:44:25,360 recently. I experienced it very, very 810 00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:27,520 recently. Like, you know, a couple of 811 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,840 nights ago I went out with someone super, super close to me 812 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:35,240 family and 90% of it was just all about the other person. 813 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:39,840 I'd say actually 95% of it. And I came right, And I was 814 00:44:39,840 --> 00:44:42,280 like, yeah, do you know, I hope they had a great, great night 815 00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:46,240 talking about themselves. Once you see it, you can't even 816 00:44:46,240 --> 00:44:47,000 see it. No, you. 817 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:52,040 Can't you can't, but it's also once you start having deeper 818 00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:55,800 relationships with people and and once you start being around 819 00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,760 other guys that can hold a fucking space and hold a 820 00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:02,960 conversation and go and and and go deeper if you, if you want. 821 00:45:03,320 --> 00:45:06,760 It's like you don't want anything else outside of that. 822 00:45:06,840 --> 00:45:08,840 Have you have a relationship because like, well, this is just 823 00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,840 fucking surface level. Why do I want this in my life 824 00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:13,400 now that my standards are higher? 825 00:45:13,800 --> 00:45:18,440 Yeah, next one I've got you talked about having a, you 826 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:21,600 talked about AJ before, like the blood work, the chemist. 827 00:45:21,600 --> 00:45:24,320 I actually went to DNA health and Wellness in in Dubai. 828 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,880 They were really good. I, I would never have done that 829 00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,800 as an athlete because it was, you know, a lot of the things I 830 00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:34,800 take would not legal in, in athletics, but I actually, I 831 00:45:34,800 --> 00:45:40,120 actually take BPC, which is peptide, you know, peptide 832 00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,560 therapy and this helped me with my Achilles tendon. 833 00:45:42,560 --> 00:45:46,120 So I, I put blood work and chemist you need that on your 834 00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:50,000 team because actually the, the health insurance policy of going 835 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,160 and seeing what's wrong before it's an issue is so important. 836 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:56,760 So I think that that this is like a health insurance, but if 837 00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:01,640 you can spot a cancer early, a like a stress based immune 838 00:46:01,680 --> 00:46:05,760 problem early, you're going to have much better fighting chance 839 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:09,840 of it getting it sorted. So as guys, what the way I would 840 00:46:09,840 --> 00:46:13,560 prescribe this is put it in your calendar as a repeating event to 841 00:46:13,560 --> 00:46:16,760 book a check up. So this is all you need to do. 842 00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:18,600 Use your calendar to take care of this. 843 00:46:18,800 --> 00:46:22,160 Go and see your blood work specialist, your chemist. 844 00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:27,000 It could be a doctor like I this is not anything against GPS, but 845 00:46:27,000 --> 00:46:29,080 they're busy. They haven't got the, the 846 00:46:29,080 --> 00:46:32,400 bandwidth to really get into the hood about what's wrong, But it 847 00:46:32,400 --> 00:46:34,960 can be a good first start. So if you listen to this as a 848 00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:39,880 guy and you, you don't go to see your doctor regularly, it maybe 849 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:43,280 is because like, well, you say like, well, if I'm not broken, 850 00:46:43,280 --> 00:46:45,120 don't fix it. Well, actually this is a 851 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:47,240 difference where you have a, a chemist or a blood work 852 00:46:47,240 --> 00:46:51,920 specialist or a, a endocrinologist or whoever it 853 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:56,920 is, you just check in with him once a year and it can be the 854 00:46:56,920 --> 00:46:59,800 thing that you put. So for example, I worked with a 855 00:46:59,800 --> 00:47:01,960 guy called Doctor Phil Richards for about four years. 856 00:47:01,960 --> 00:47:04,280 He was my first mentor in, in nutrition. 857 00:47:05,280 --> 00:47:09,960 And Phil looked down the the what's called the microscope of 858 00:47:10,360 --> 00:47:12,400 guy's blood before now. And I what? 859 00:47:12,400 --> 00:47:14,760 I was in the room and he said, hey, Ben, can you leave the room 860 00:47:14,760 --> 00:47:17,880 for a second? And he had to tell the guy that 861 00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,680 he had cancer. He said, like, I can see cancer 862 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,200 in your blood. This guy had no idea. 863 00:47:22,720 --> 00:47:25,560 Yeah, this this guy had paid for a blood consultation because he 864 00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:27,040 was not feeling great. He thought he had a little 865 00:47:27,040 --> 00:47:28,960 testosterone. He looked down the scope. 866 00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:31,120 This guy had cancer. And like, this is The thing is 867 00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:34,240 he caught it early and it was massively, massively helpful. 868 00:47:34,520 --> 00:47:37,760 So it depends on how which level you want to go up. 869 00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:41,600 But just doing a good check up for a guy with a testosterone or 870 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:45,760 for for for inflammatory markers, definitely worth having 871 00:47:45,760 --> 00:47:49,440 in your team. Yeah, 100%. 872 00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:52,520 I have a guy, he's actually, he's one of the clients in 873 00:47:52,520 --> 00:47:54,280 Awaken Man. He gives loads and loads of 874 00:47:54,280 --> 00:47:59,080 great advice within the Awaken Man, Spencer W we call, we call 875 00:47:59,080 --> 00:48:03,520 Spencer biohacking Batman because he just everything, but 876 00:48:03,520 --> 00:48:08,040 he's so like just so clued up on like if there's an issue to do 877 00:48:08,040 --> 00:48:12,320 with your body, like he will have some resource or something 878 00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:16,080 that can help fix that and then optimise that area. 879 00:48:16,320 --> 00:48:20,240 Like a little while back I was like, you know what, I keep 880 00:48:20,240 --> 00:48:23,720 reading about parasites and like, and just like at the way 881 00:48:23,720 --> 00:48:26,200 that they can affect your, your body and your gut and your brain 882 00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:27,960 and so on. And I just mentioned it and 883 00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:30,840 Spencer's like, oh, hey, dude, here's some protocols for you to 884 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:35,360 just start flushing those out. It's like having someone like 885 00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:38,600 that in your corner that knows about that to a high level and 886 00:48:38,600 --> 00:48:41,560 can talk about it and and then give you actual protocols. 887 00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:43,720 Yeah. And also he, he walks his talk. 888 00:48:43,720 --> 00:48:46,000 He's like, he's like, he looks you look at him. 889 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,880 The dude like radiates energy. Yeah, yeah. 890 00:48:48,920 --> 00:48:52,040 The dude like he's like in his 40s, you think? 891 00:48:52,040 --> 00:48:57,080 You think he's probably like 30. He looks phenomenal, radiates 892 00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,440 energy. We actually talked about this 893 00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:02,360 actually to the side note is we look back on the podcast, me and 894 00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:05,200 Robert Glover and Pete and Robert, I'm like, you should see 895 00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:08,080 me and Pete, my hair is dodgy. I love and fat. 896 00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:12,280 You know, we're like, we've got, you know, we've aged well, my 897 00:49:12,280 --> 00:49:15,560 friends like and like that's so important as a guy like you're 898 00:49:15,560 --> 00:49:17,480 in your prime. If you're in your 30s, guys, 899 00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:20,760 you're in your prime. Yeah, I look, I, I, I just 900 00:49:20,760 --> 00:49:23,160 turned 37, right, a couple of weeks ago. 901 00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,440 I look better now than I did a couple of years ago. 902 00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:29,080 Looking back at that, looking at that podcast we did with Doctor 903 00:49:29,080 --> 00:49:31,880 Robert Glover and I messaged Ben and I was like, dude, look at us 904 00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:35,080 like we, we look fucking way better now. 905 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:38,840 And that's because we've, we've been in the awakened man in this 906 00:49:38,840 --> 00:49:43,320 world for now a couple of years. So, so focused on who's in our 907 00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:46,520 team. Yeah, so this final one I want 908 00:49:46,520 --> 00:49:48,680 to talk about. There is a side one here, a 909 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:50,360 Barber, you know, get a great Barber. 910 00:49:50,680 --> 00:49:53,960 This is something I've realised going to before. 911 00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:55,600 I'm going to say this one quickly because I don't want to 912 00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:58,240 talk too much about this one, but I've realised that going to 913 00:49:58,240 --> 00:50:00,160 the Barber is so important for me. 914 00:50:00,240 --> 00:50:02,280 I love it. I really enjoy it being like 915 00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,520 pampered by a guy. Get a good Barber because it's a 916 00:50:05,520 --> 00:50:08,360 good conversation. You can network there, like talk 917 00:50:08,360 --> 00:50:12,120 to guys, go and chill, get pampered, get a good Barber. 918 00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,640 That has actually, Pete joked about that before the podcast, 919 00:50:14,640 --> 00:50:16,560 but not you're so right about this. 920 00:50:17,400 --> 00:50:20,920 It's fucking important. And one of the other guys in the 921 00:50:21,440 --> 00:50:24,280 heroic man said yesterday, no, it's this morning. 922 00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:26,680 When I did a call this morning, he was like, yeah, Pete, I 923 00:50:26,680 --> 00:50:29,040 actually got rid of my old Barber because of this point, 924 00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:32,600 because I was talking about the other people's standards that 925 00:50:32,600 --> 00:50:34,040 you hang around. Yeah. 926 00:50:34,280 --> 00:50:37,080 Because it's so easy to drop to other people's standards if 927 00:50:37,080 --> 00:50:39,960 they're if they're not as high as yours and then you can just 928 00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:44,960 go into bad ways. My Barber was a sack of shit. 929 00:50:45,120 --> 00:50:48,080 We. Used to get like literally he 930 00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:50,240 would he would sit and he goes like, ah, so who you shagging? 931 00:50:50,240 --> 00:50:54,840 And I was like a partner. Like what? 932 00:50:55,680 --> 00:50:57,920 Anyway. Before look, before we go on to 933 00:50:57,920 --> 00:51:02,960 this, this last one, I got another one which is important, 934 00:51:03,080 --> 00:51:07,680 very, very fucking important. This is having someone that can, 935 00:51:07,760 --> 00:51:09,560 that you can talk to about your finances. 936 00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:13,560 It's like a, like a financial advisor, like a wealth 937 00:51:13,560 --> 00:51:17,320 management consultant or professional, someone that can 938 00:51:17,320 --> 00:51:19,680 advise you on what you're going to do with you with, with your 939 00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:23,920 will, with your assets, someone that can help you with your 940 00:51:23,920 --> 00:51:25,560 investments when you start making more money. 941 00:51:25,560 --> 00:51:27,720 It's like where you're going to where, where you put in your 942 00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:31,200 money. And so like having someone like 943 00:51:31,200 --> 00:51:32,800 that in your team is fucking important. 944 00:51:33,080 --> 00:51:36,680 Even if it's like right now, it's just like there's not a lot 945 00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:40,040 of assets going on or I'm not making as much as I want to be 946 00:51:40,040 --> 00:51:42,640 making. Still get your wills, get your 947 00:51:42,640 --> 00:51:45,560 will sorted or just like have someone that's going to sort 948 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:48,360 that area and then and then you've got it. 949 00:51:48,440 --> 00:51:54,120 And my, my just advice here on going through a few people is 950 00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:58,560 find someone that walks to walk and, and like is wealthy. 951 00:51:59,520 --> 00:52:02,760 You know, it's not just some random financial advisors who's 952 00:52:02,760 --> 00:52:05,800 earned 40 KA year and isn't walking to walk and isn't and 953 00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:08,200 isn't doing what you want, hasn't got what you want. 954 00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:11,400 But find someone who's wealthy. They might have a team that that 955 00:52:11,520 --> 00:52:14,440 does the work for you, but ultimately it's coming from 956 00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:18,440 their knowledge. This, this final one, I haven't 957 00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:21,040 talked about it as openly as I probably want to. 958 00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:24,000 And I said to people before the call, I, I, I want to talk about 959 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,160 this more. It's an edge for me because I 960 00:52:27,440 --> 00:52:31,720 and, and by me sharing this, I'm not endorsing that you go and do 961 00:52:31,720 --> 00:52:33,480 it. I'm just sharing my experience 962 00:52:33,560 --> 00:52:36,480 and I'm, it was transformational for me. 963 00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:40,000 And it was something I had a call in to do for a long time, 964 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,720 which was plant medicine. I wanted to do plant medicine. 965 00:52:42,720 --> 00:52:47,200 I wanted to invest in an experience with medicine and I 966 00:52:47,200 --> 00:52:50,720 just didn't know who to trust. And it was actually Pete, you 967 00:52:50,720 --> 00:52:53,640 know, Pete share his experience about this. 968 00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:57,160 But I wanted to find someone I could trust, someone who could 969 00:52:57,160 --> 00:53:00,040 create an experience which I was looking forward to doing, 970 00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,680 someone who I felt had experience and wisdom around 971 00:53:04,680 --> 00:53:07,680 this. And also I was in a part in a 972 00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,520 part part of my life where I had this call in, but I didn't know 973 00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:12,800 what it was. Anyway, one day Pete said that, 974 00:53:12,800 --> 00:53:14,840 listen, I'm going to go and do this. 975 00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:18,280 And I was itching to find out about his experience. 976 00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:20,600 And we've gone to see a guy called Danny Saggers. 977 00:53:20,600 --> 00:53:23,320 Danny is one of the awakening clients. 978 00:53:23,320 --> 00:53:28,240 He is an incredible shame in. And I think having a shame in at 979 00:53:28,240 --> 00:53:31,080 this phase of your life in your corner for when you have the 980 00:53:31,080 --> 00:53:34,960 call in to go and do that stuff is important. 981 00:53:34,960 --> 00:53:37,120 Like I, that's what my, I believe. 982 00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:43,520 And what was great about the way that Danny created his, his 983 00:53:43,520 --> 00:53:50,120 experience with, with medicine is that he really knows his 984 00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:54,560 stuff and he, he's treads the line between it being a 985 00:53:54,560 --> 00:54:02,040 prescriptive, very spiritual experience and the, the actual, 986 00:54:02,960 --> 00:54:06,400 what's the word for it, the cultural side of how it's all 987 00:54:06,400 --> 00:54:08,880 performed as well. It's very sacred. 988 00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:13,160 It's very, very sacred. And Danny as a guy as well, 989 00:54:13,240 --> 00:54:17,720 holds the line between powerful masculinity and beautiful 990 00:54:17,720 --> 00:54:21,800 feminine mask like male energy and that, and that's what worked 991 00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:25,360 really well for me personally. And so getting in touch with 992 00:54:25,360 --> 00:54:27,200 Danny was really, really helpful for me. 993 00:54:27,240 --> 00:54:29,640 And it was, it was transformational for my life. 994 00:54:29,920 --> 00:54:32,800 And so I want to talk, I probably want to do a whole 995 00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:34,400 podcast on this. So if you're listening to this 996 00:54:34,400 --> 00:54:37,480 and you want to hear more about my experiences doing this, 997 00:54:37,960 --> 00:54:40,360 please get in touch. I know P would be open to doing 998 00:54:40,360 --> 00:54:44,080 the same thing. But I think that having this in 999 00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:48,000 in your team, at some point, you're going to get in your own 1000 00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:51,200 way as a leader, as a man. And I think this, this is a 1001 00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:55,800 cheat code for going a mile deep, going like really into 1002 00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:59,640 your psyche, getting blocked. Like Pete actually referred to 1003 00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:01,440 it. I'll let you, it's like 1000 1004 00:55:01,440 --> 00:55:03,640 hours of, you know, I'll let you give that analogy. 1005 00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:07,880 But because that Pete, Pete owns that at the moment, I'm going to 1006 00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:12,800 steal it. But it moved me so far so fast. 1007 00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:16,480 And I think that having this person that you go annually to 1008 00:55:16,480 --> 00:55:20,320 do this work with is just such an important part. 1009 00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,480 So that's the the final person on this. 1010 00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,280 You know what we're talking about today that I think that 1011 00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:27,200 you should have in your team. What what was your experience 1012 00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:31,120 about Pete? Yeah, yeah, I I agree now that I 1013 00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:36,320 have stepped into that realm and that that different spiritual 1014 00:55:36,320 --> 00:55:39,040 side of life and I'd absolutely agree. 1015 00:55:39,200 --> 00:55:43,280 I like my, my, it's not a caveat, but this is like how it 1016 00:55:43,280 --> 00:55:47,000 came through for me is that I had I had the fucking calling to 1017 00:55:47,000 --> 00:55:49,800 do it. I'd like there was always in the 1018 00:55:49,800 --> 00:55:52,160 back of my mind. I always knew years, years ago, 1019 00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:56,160 my at some stage I'm probably going to do something. 1020 00:55:56,880 --> 00:56:01,760 I'm I'm going to do something, but I'd been told a long time 1021 00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,160 ago, just wait until it feels right for you, Pete. 1022 00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,200 Wait until you get that cordon. You know when it comes. 1023 00:56:06,200 --> 00:56:08,840 And it did. It came like immediately after 1024 00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:13,240 me and my ex partner decided to break up like a like right there 1025 00:56:13,240 --> 00:56:17,200 right then it was like, oh, Pete, this is this is now your 1026 00:56:17,200 --> 00:56:20,040 time. And coincidentally, that a week 1027 00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:24,440 prior, Danny had joined the awakened man and I'd met him 1028 00:56:24,440 --> 00:56:25,560 before. A connection with him was like, 1029 00:56:25,560 --> 00:56:28,560 this is this is actually the universe kind of lining up here. 1030 00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:30,520 This is here for me. And now I'm going to take this 1031 00:56:30,520 --> 00:56:35,960 opportunity. It's not something that I have 1032 00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:39,920 done since, but it is something I plan on doing again this year. 1033 00:56:39,960 --> 00:56:42,760 And, and like Ben said, but for me, it'll be a yearly thing. 1034 00:56:42,760 --> 00:56:46,400 It's not I, I see loads and loads of people go into it as a 1035 00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:49,720 bit of a crux and like doing it over and over and over. 1036 00:56:49,720 --> 00:56:51,920 And it's like a weekly thing. It's a monthly thing and it's 1037 00:56:51,920 --> 00:56:54,920 like it's using it as the answer. 1038 00:56:56,240 --> 00:57:02,240 For me, this is about using this as a tool to enhance my team and 1039 00:57:02,240 --> 00:57:05,320 not to not to have it as a bit of a crux, but use it as the 1040 00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:07,040 thing that's going to take me to the next. 1041 00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:11,720 It's to find my edge. I also feel that I got so much 1042 00:57:11,720 --> 00:57:14,840 out of it and Ben has got so much out of it because of the 1043 00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:18,080 amount of like historic work that we've done, like on 1044 00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:21,840 ourselves, understanding our behaviours and our patterns, our 1045 00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:25,600 emotions and going and doing a lot of therapeutic work, doing a 1046 00:57:25,600 --> 00:57:28,520 lot of group work, doing a lot of personal development, self 1047 00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:31,960 development. That for me enhanced that 1048 00:57:31,960 --> 00:57:34,880 because as I I believe I was able to go a lot deeper because 1049 00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:39,840 I had that in my in my armoury. Even during the experience that 1050 00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:43,800 the work I did in therapy was coming up and making more sense 1051 00:57:43,800 --> 00:57:46,280 than I saw. So I think again, it's, it's 1052 00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:50,000 part of that bigger process. And I think we've referred, 1053 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:52,240 referred to this kind of theme throughout the podcast, is that 1054 00:57:52,920 --> 00:57:56,280 individually these things work well, but synergistically they 1055 00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:58,400 work very, very, very, very, very well. 1056 00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:02,840 Like bring them all together. So, yeah, I, you know, I think I 1057 00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:04,920 think we could do a whole podcast and share about this, 1058 00:58:06,160 --> 00:58:09,240 share intricately, intricately about my experience and what 1059 00:58:09,240 --> 00:58:13,280 it's done for me since. Yeah. 1060 00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:15,840 So, so I think we should wrap it up, Pete, honestly, really, 1061 00:58:15,920 --> 00:58:17,400 really think that's been really powerful. 1062 00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:20,000 If you, if you'd like to know more about any of the people 1063 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:22,280 that we've talked about, feel free to reach out to any of us 1064 00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:27,000 like Pete or, or I and we'll give you the the contacts that 1065 00:58:27,000 --> 00:58:29,720 because this I think that these people that we've referred to do 1066 00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,960 great work. A lot of these things you'll get 1067 00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:34,520 inside of the awakened mana, heroic mana. 1068 00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:37,040 I think that's why it's such a great one stop shop for a lot of 1069 00:58:37,040 --> 00:58:40,480 those things we've talked about. But equally, I think sometimes 1070 00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:44,600 you do need to build your team. So thank you so much for for 1071 00:58:45,160 --> 00:58:46,920 listening in guys. Yeah, Cheers guys. 1072 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:47,640 See you next week.