Welcome to Heroic Man. This is your daily call to
adventure, guys, and we're going and continuing on the trail that
we've been blazing on values. So you've seen.
Yes, Benjamin. Share about values today.
OK, people, before we share our values, OK, people, I'm, I'm
going to repeat it, right? But again, like I said last
week, right, So Gabel Ottingen is a professor at UCLA and
she's, she is the world's leading researcher on the signs
of goal attachment, I mean, of goal achievement, right?
And, and, and, and like I said last week, in the week before
when we started discussing values, right, it is literally
impossible. Like the, the neuroscience of
it, right? And, and, and there, there are
literally hundreds of thousands of, of, of research papers have
been written on, on what the fuck it takes to, to, to, to be
able to achieve and set goals, right?
And, and the number one thing, right, is that you will only
ever set goals and achieve goals if, if you know your, your
values. I'm going to repeat this for you
guys, guys, it's so important, right?
And we, we discussed it last week and, and we need to look at
our lives and ask ourselves, well, I've been doing this
entrepreneurial thing. I've been working for someone
else three years, four years, seven years.
And yet I'm, I'm still far, far, far away from, from, from, from
the goals that I've set. And, and then we have to ask
ourselves, why is that right? And, and, and the number one
reason literally is because we run our businesses, we lead our
lives. We, we need our relationships,
right? And, and, and, and the things
that, that we've said for ourselves and not only, I never,
ever aligned with our values, right?
And, and, and so ask yourself, like if, if, as we talked about
last week, right, these 10 categories, right, are
scientifically proven right to be the, the, the, the 10 things
that, that, or the 10 values that you need to build your
life, your relationship, your business, your career around,
right? What is it in you right?
Where they spot X your lizard brain, your, your or whatever,
right? That, that, that is stopping you
right, from, from actually paying attention right?
To, to, to, to, to, to, to, to being fully conscious right
about these, these categories, right, And, and again so quickly
right. The, the, the, the, the those
same categories. Intimate relationships are #1 #2
family relationships #3 friendships and other
relationships #4 your physical and psychological health #5 your
spirituality. Number six, your finances #7
you're learning #8 your work #9 your environment and #10 your
civic duties. Let me repeat this for you guys.
So #1 intimate relationships, right #2 family relationships #3
friendships and other relationships.
Number four, health #5 spirituality #6 finances #7
learning #8 work #9 environment #10 civic duties.
OK, so last week we does everyone have that?
You guys have the the 10 categories they're.
In the chart. Right, and, and so last week we
discussed intimate relationships, family
relationships, friendships and other relationships, health,
spirituality, finances, learning, right?
And today we, we're going to quickly discuss, discuss work
environment and civic duties and then do, do an exercise, right?
So, so when it comes to work right, again, work right is an
incredibly important part of our life, right?
And, and Sigmund Freud said right, the, the, the, the, the,
the difference between someone right, very psychologically
healthy, right, and, and, and someone that, that, that, that
that suffers from, from, from, from neuroticism, right?
And, and every other psychologist from Freud onwards,
right? They say the same thing, right?
Is it? They literally are two
categories of of of of of of of of improvement or, or two roles
that we play in life. Number one is, is work, right?
And, and, and #2 is our relationship or love, right?
Which is why we talked about intimate family and family
relationships and friendships and other relationships last
week, right? I'm going to repeat this for you
guys. So, so every psychologist,
right, from Freud to today's behavioral therapist, right?
Say the same thing, right? There literally are only two
things, right? They, they, they, they, they
differentiate as between someone who's psychologically healthy
and someone, right, who is neurotic and someone who is
psychopathological. It is #1 right, The, the, the
role that I play in terms of my work and #2 is the role that I
that I play in term of my love, right?
And, and if I'm not, if I'm not optimizing and actualizing those
two roles, well, guess what? I'm psychologically unhealthy.
I'm stuck. Do you guys see this, that those
two things right? The, the reason why, why so many
of us are stuck, so many of us engage in, in destructive
behaviors, right is because we, we, we have not made a
considerate, committed effort, right to work on those two
things. And and so work guys is an
incredibly important part of life, right.
Then whether you run your own business, whether you work for
someone else, right? Our our our work offers as an
opportunity for personal growth because let's say again, right,
your career in in your business, right?
Will, will, will only ever grow to to the level that that you as
a person have grown, right? Do you see this?
The, the work is such an important part of life that that
it it, it offers us an opportunity for personal growth,
right? It, it offers us an opportunity
for, for growing our income right.
And again, right, you will never, ever grow your income,
right without also insuring right, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, that your personal growth, right?
Is, is, is, is aligned with with your income guys.
And, and, and again, just look at your life and look at your
income. Yes, you can say I've, I've done
personal development work, right?
I've read the books, I've done the causes, right?
But, but, but again, right, measure, measure your, from the
day that you started doing personal development work today,
right? Then ask yourself, like if you
were one or two when you started, right?
Are you fucking 10 today, right? And, and, and if you aren't, if
you're still stuck at a #3 and #4 right, then look at your
income, right? And look at your level of work.
And, and I can guarantee you, right, that, that your income,
right, is, is absolutely right related to, to, to, to how
little personal development or not even personal personal
development is the wrong word. Personal growth, right?
Whether you've actually grown, right, and, and whether your
growth has actually matched your income.
And, and, and the third thing that that that work offers us,
right, is socialization. And again, guys, which is why,
right, there's a whole idea of solar entrepreneurship, right?
Goes against everything that, that, that, and especially for
men, not Even so much for women, but for men, right?
Solo entrepreneurship goes literally against the grain,
right, of everything that we understand about, about how, how
us as men, right, if literally evolved, right, that, that,
that, that that work has to provide socialization.
So if you're sitting at home all day by yourself, I'm saying,
well, I'm running my business, I'm not interacting with people,
not socializing with people, not seeing another person, right?
Well, guess what, right? Then Then ask yourself, right,
literally right, there is a, there is a, a reason for why,
right? Both your personal growth and,
and, and your income are, are stagnant.
You, you guys, I'm going to repeat this for you guys,
because work is such an, an important part of all of our
lives. Those three things, personal
growth, income and socialization, right?
Literally right, cannot exist without the the other in, in
terms of, of, of, of, of, of your work, right?
And and so in, in, in terms of, of there are four key components
of work, right? Our physical work environment,
right, our social relationships with other people, whether it's
coworkers, whether it's our employees, whether it's my boss,
my customers, whatever, right? The actual job I do, right, and
the earnings that benefits that are associated.
What would that work? I'm repeat that for you guys
that work. If work is a value, some values
for work, right? Literally number one, my
physical work environment, right?
Ask yourself, right, if you're working from home, right?
Like what, what does your current physical work
environment say about you? Right #2 social relationships
with, with other people, whether it's your coworkers, your boss,
your employees, your, your clients, etcetera, etcetera.
Number #3 the, the, the actual work that you do, right?
And, and #4 your earnings and, and benefits that are associated
with your jobs, right? Doesn't make sense to you Can,
can, can you guys see this ask you something in terms of all of
those things, right? What would you rate each of
those things? So #1 your personal growth,
right? On a scale of one to 10, what is
that? Your income, right?
On a scale of 10, what, what is it your socialization on a scale
of one to 10, right, How high, what does it rank?
And and then the four key components of of work, your
physical work environment, your social relationships, the actual
job that you're actually doing, right?
Is that something that actually putting you in a state of flow
all of the time, right? Or, or you just mean it because
someone told you, well, you know what pen go be a be a
copywriter, right? You don't actually like doing
the thing you're doing, but but or, or, or your coach or
whatever. But you do need because other
people, because you saw other people doing and making money,
right? And and then earnings and
benefits, yeah, associated with the job that you're doing.
Are you actually making money, right?
On a scale of one to 10, right? Where do you rank it down of
that right, guys? And again, right, again, it all
of us will, will, will, will value different things related
to work, right? And so some of us value the
actual work itself, right? And, and we, we view it as an
Ave. for personal expression and fulfillment.
And some of you might see, see the job, right?
It's a paycheck, right? And you value the, the, the, the
salary you get from it and the benefits above all else, right?
And some people might, might like the work environment,
right? I have a friend, right, who, who
does fishing is a living right. And even more than the actual
fishing, he just loves being out at sea, right?
And, and, and, and just just the, the, the, the, the, the,
the, the, the opportunity to be out there, right, and
experiencing the, the great expense of the sea, right?
I, I know in, in our family business, some, some of our
truck drivers, right? They, absolutely the thing that
they value the most, right, is, is just the, the, the, the
ability to be on the open road, right, and not be, be stuck in,
in one of our manufacturing plants, right?
I, I, I know some, some university professors, right?
Love, love the stage right in, in, in, in, in, in, in.
They, they love the podium that they, they they've been elect
in, in election hall office, right in, in, in, in, in, in
other people right above all else, value the personal
relationship that they establish with, with, with the clients,
with the employees, with their colleagues, with their bosses or
whatever. Any questions so far, Ben?
No, no, the way that I've always seen it is that the the ones
that you don't pay attention to are often the ones that come and
bite you in the ass. You know, like real, like quite
early on in my coaching career, I remember going through values
with people and, and it was always the ones that they valued
least that was the ones that thwarted their progress.
You know, I think about this guys, is that we were to just
look through the the chat and that list that was put up about
values and just go actually, you know what, yeah, which one is
the lowest? Which one is like a 01/2 or
three? And like that is the one that's
you, you will inevitably move forward in these as you do
personal growth, but it's that one that's the lowest that
generally ends up sabotaging long term progress.
Like just a little example of this is that, for example, I,
I've met with guys that they had great, great businesses, they
had money, they had a great family and then they just were
super overweight and their health was in tatters.
And that was the thing that just bothered them the most.
And they, they would struggle with it enormously.
Equally, there was guys that had really, really great health, but
they were broke. So think about, think about what
that is for you, because that's the one that just with a little,
you know, just a bit of attention, you can take it from
A3 to a six quite easily normally as well.
Is that the? Is that is that the question we
should pose for today, you're saying because.
No, no, we, we, we're going to do a proper exercise.
But guys, before we, before I get to the exercise, just want
to quickly discover, discuss and discuss, discuss environment,
right? So, so environment can be broken
down into micro and macro levels, right?
And so most of us haven't actually thought about it like
this, right? So, so, so, so our micro
environment includes our immediate surroundings, the,
the, the, the home we live in, the neighborhood we live in the,
the, the down the city we live in and, and on and on, right?
And, and our micro environment might also include things like
like, like like air and water quality, my, my, my privacy, my
safety, my recreational opportunities, right?
And, and the macro environment on, on the other is broader,
right? And and and and encompasses
things such as the, the, the straight and country where the
state and country where I live, right?
Or, or, or, or, or or the world at large, right?
And, and and, and again, right, whether your microenvironment
right or your microenvironment right?
Ask yourself right, right now on a scale of one to 10, right,
your, your, your current home, right?
Are you happy with it? In a scale of one to 10, your
neighbourhood, right, the town that you live in, the city that
you live in, right. So I know, for example, Ben,
right, didn't got at some point got bust off at his macro
environment, right. He didn't want to live in in
Wales and be constrained by by the economic opportunity in
Northern Wales. So he chose to he and probably
chose to change it by moving to Dubai, right?
But again, but you see how there's a feedback look, because
now he lives in Dubai, right? It also has a huge impact on his
microenvironment, right? The neighborhood that he lives
in, the house that he lives in, right?
And on and on, right? The, he is quality of life,
right? The privacy, recreational
opportunities and on and on and on.
So, so guys, what you want to do in terms of environment, right
is evaluate both your micro environment and your micro
environment, right? And, and, and, and ask yourself,
right, how is your current micro macro environment actually
right? What are your values about those
things, right? And how are they actually
affecting your level of happiness?
So now people, the exercise for the day quickly, right?
So we, we've got the, the, the, the 10 categories right?
In, in, in, in, in, in, in, in sorting them through them can
get pretty confusing, right? I, I, I get that, right?
And so a useful way, not usual useful way, right?
I usually write an exercise that I usually do with my clients,
right, which is actually a useful way to help them to do
this, right? Imagine, right, that you sorting
through the mail, right? And, and putting individual
value positions, right, AKA the letters into the appropriate
slots. So, so, so imagine, right, that,
that, that, that, that you sort into your mail right in, in, in,
in, in your value positions, those value categories, right?
You're literally assorting, assorting through them, right?
And putting them right into the appropriate mailboxes.
And so each, so these 10 mailboxes, each of the 10
mailboxes are one of the 10 categories, right?
And So what you're going to do is you're going to spend at
least 30 minutes in our, in our, in this exercise, right?
And and, and, and and the way we do this exercise, right is
either so you don't have to leave your house and go to to a
stationary store if you don't have stationary to do this
exercise. So, so either you want right to
buy one of those stand start organizers from your local
office supply store, right? Or, or, or you can make one up
right using ten of those Manila folders, right?
And, and fasten IT security, secure security securely, right
to a poster board or to a piece of wood and in, in, in, in, in
in either case, what you want to do is you're going to label the
slots, right? Or, or the folders with these
stand titles. So it doesn't make sense to you
guys. So, So what you need to do is,
is you need to get get off your ass.
Go go to one of your local stationary stores.
If you don't have the material at home, right?
And, and, and you want to buy either one of those stand slot
organizers, right? Or, or make one using those
Manila folders or envelopes, right?
Which you're in the fasten securely to a poster ball or to
a piece of wood in in either case, you you want to label the
slots or or or the folders, right, with these ten titles.
So intimate relationships, family relationships,
friendships and other relationships, health search,
reality, finances, learning, work, the environment and your
civic duties, right? And then what you want to do,
right, is you want to get yourself 5 inch by 8 inch index
cards or file cards or whatever you call it in your little
corner of the world, right? And then you want to answer the
the the following value questions.
OK, so, so the, the, the first part to your organizer slots or,
or envelopes attached to a board or whatever #2 right, you, you,
you want 5 inch by 8 inch index cards or file cards, whatever.
And and, and then you, you want to answer the following value
questions for each category, right?
So you say to yourself, what, what exactly the question is,
what exactly do I value about right intimate relationships?
And you fill in the category, right?
And and, and and you can have more than one value for each
category. So for example, right, you might
say, what exactly do I value about intimate relationships,
right? And so your answer could be, I
value having someone who shares my love.
I value having a single sexual partner, or I value having
multiple sexual partners. I value having someone with whom
I can share my deepest thoughts and feelings.
I value having a close companion to share each day with.
Does it make sense to you guys? So what do you want to do for
each of those value categories? Ask the question, what exactly
do I value about right? And then write that answer on,
on, on, on, on an index card, right?
And again, for each of the categories, you, you can have
one or you can have multiple answers.
And So what you want to do is you want to spend at least 30
minutes to an hour, right? And, and take your time and even
longer if you want to, right? And, and, and work through each
of those, those value categories.
What, what we don't want to do is we don't want to judge your
values, right? We want to accept them for what
they are, right? And then we want to put them in
the proper place, right? And then on, on our next goal,
we, we, we will do an exercise to, to actually rank them later.
But for now, right, we just want to spend time categorizing and
sorting through them.