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Hello is yours. 
Hey, guys, morning. 

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I think continuing from our call
yesterday about this, but how so

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many of us as men, we say we 
want to do personal development,

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We want to, we want to improve, 
We want to have better lives, 

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better relationships, better 
finances. 

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But then we never willing to do 
the work, right? 

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And then the question is right 
in, in other's question in, in 

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the wakening group the other 
day, right? 

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We we have in what, 40 people in
the group, people that pay 

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12,000 a year, right? 
And then people don't come on 

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calls, right. 
And the question then is like, 

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why the fuck? 
Why even do personal development

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work? 
Why pay guys? 

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We have to ask ourself, why pay 
pay the money to do a program if

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if you're not willing to do the 
work right? 

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And so first pearls, the 
fondling of Gustal therapy. 

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He talked about this, right? 
He, he said, if you look at men 

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today and he wasn't even talking
about women, He said if you look

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at the majority of men today, 
right, He said most men today 

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are paper people. 
He said if there was a term to 

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describe men today, you would 
literally say men are paper 

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people, right? 
We no longer real men, right? 

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We literally are hollowed out 
men, right? 

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We love hollowed out lives, 
right and and and and when I 

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when I heard him saying this, I 
was like, holy fuck, it is so 

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true. 
I'm repeatedly so so first 

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spells the founder crystals 
psychotherapy said that is the 

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majority of men in the modern 
world are paper people. 

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We literally right, we flimsy 
right, we one-dimensional. 

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There's nothing to us right 
except the piece of paper. 

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That's what we look like. 
He said we are hollowed out 

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versions of what we could be 
right. 

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We all are born with an in one 
potential right to become 

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something more than we are right
But but but but we live our we 

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we choose willingly to live out 
hollowed lives, right. 

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And so you guys think about 
this. 

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So first of all, that 
previously, if you look at a 

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man, a man loved for one thing, 
a man loved for, for what he 

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believed was right, right? 
And then because he loved for 

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what he believed was right, he 
did his job. 

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He never questioned whether he 
wanted the job or whether he was

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suited for it. 
I'm gonna repeat this for you 

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guys. 
Can you guys see this, that, 

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that, that if you look at all of
the depression, anxiety 

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neurosis, psychosis amongst men,
it is this fundamentally that, 

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that 100 years ago, right, Men 
loved or even 50 years ago, men 

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loved for what he believed he 
was right. 

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Guys, ask yourself right now, do
you actually believe? 

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Do you actually love for what 
you believe is right? 

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Back in the day, a man loved, he
did his job. 

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He never questioned, right? 
He never questioned whether I 

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won the job, whether I'm 
passionate about it, whether 

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it's my life's calling, right? 
He never asked himself whether 

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he was suited for it. 
Like men existed in this way. 

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Why? 
Because our society was 

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regulated by religion, by 
authorities who said you do your

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thing whether you like it or 
not. 

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And today, well, guess what, we 
extremely end the authority, we 

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end the religious right and and 
we always say it's freedom, 

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freedom, freedom, freedom and 
Victor bring you want freedom, 

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awesome, great, have the freedom
right. 

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But then you also have to accept
that there's the price of of of 

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freedom, right? 
It's taken 100% responsibility 

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for life. 
Do you see this, that, that back

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in the day, society, our 
religion, I thought the 

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authorities, our bosses ensured,
right, that, that, that we were 

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responsible today, right, Our, 
our environment has changed. 

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But what have we done? 
We've literally exchanged 

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religion and authority and 
imperialism with, you know, 

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hedonism and repeat this last 
part for you is that today, 

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because our environment has 
changed, we've exchanged 

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religion. 
We said, now you know what, God 

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is dead. 
I don't believe in God 

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authority. 
No, the government wasn't 

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telling me what to do. 
Blah, blah, blah wasn't telling 

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me what to do. 
Puritanism. 

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I'm not being about moral in, 
in, in, in virtues. 

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You know what I want? 
I want to be fucking hedonistic,

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right? 
Do you see this, this as men 

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today? 
What do we live for? 

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We literally, we live for fun, 
right? 

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We live for enjoyment, right? 
And and and and and we live for 

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our erotic desires, right? 
To be turned on and repeat this 

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last one for years. 
Do you see this guys back in the

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day, men knew what they loved 
for they they they, they, they, 

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they, they, they, they live for 
what they believe was right. 

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Today, what do we live for? 
Well, do they love to be 

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hedonistic, right? 
My, one of my values, my values 

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is to have fun, right? 
If you have enjoyment is to 

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satisfy all of my fucking erotic
desires, right? 

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To be constantly turned on. 
Hey guys, do you see that today 

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has been anything goes right? 
As long as it's nice, as long as

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it sounds and fucking feels 
good. 

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I'm going to repeat this last 
word for you. 

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Do you see this that today is is
mean if you ask men today? 

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Well, what do you value? 
I enjoy. 

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I enjoy fun. 
I enjoying enjoyment. 

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I enjoy great sex. 
My my ironic desires need need 

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to be satisfied, right? 
Anything goes as long as it's 

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nice, you know, as long as it 
sounds and feels good, awesome, 

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right? 
Do you see this in in we we, we,

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we, we falsely believe that if I
live this way, it will 

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emancipate us. 
But guys, this way of loving 

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instead of emancipating us is 
literally set us back. 

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It is set men back in so many 
ways. 

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It has made us. 
It is fundamentally as well as 

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that says it has made us phobic 
towards pain and suffering. 

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Do they? 
Anything that does not fun or 

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pleasant right is to be avoided.
You know what I say? 

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I love freedom. 
I value freedom, so I'm not 

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going to work for anyone. 
I don't want an authority to 

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figure I don't want a boss. 
I'm going to start a business 

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because business will give me 
freedom. 

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But guess what? 
Running a business right 

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requires that you do unpleasant 
things. 

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But what do I do? 
Picking up the phone, 

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Prospecting with people, being 
rejected. 

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Guess what? 
It's fucking unpleasant. 

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It's not nice. 
But what do we do when my mind 

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says anything that's not found 
or pleasant is to be avoided. 

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But what do I So what do I do I 
run away from from any 

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frustration anything that that 
frustrates me. 

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My relationships frustrate me. 
I run away from them. 

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I guess frustrate me. 
I withdraw my work frustrates 

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me. 
I give up running a business. 

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The things that that frustrate 
me accounting look at my bank 

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statement knowing my numbers 
prospecting it frustrates me. 

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I run away any do you see that 
anything that's painful. 

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What do we do? 
We literally run away from it. 

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We try to shortcut it. 
I'm going to join this program 

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because hopefully Pete and Yasin
will give me a shortcut. 

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I hire coach or maybe my coach 
will give me a shortcut. 

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I, I, we, we always looking for 
shortcuts to, to, to success. 

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As long as the shortcut doesn't 
involve pain and suffering. 

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You can see this in, in what is 
the result, right? 

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The result literally is a lack 
of growth. 

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As men, we've stopped growing. 
We say I'm doing personal 

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development, but guys, real 
personal development involves a 

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fuck ton of, of pain and 
suffering. 

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But guess what? 
We're not willing to do that. 

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We're not willing to experience 
the pain and suffering. 

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We want everything to be fun. 
We want everything to be all 

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about enjoyment. 
We want everything to be about 

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satisfying our erotic desires 
and on and on and on. 

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We, we, we want, we want 
everything to be about me being 

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turned on. 
We want, we want everything to 

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be to be about being nice, right
and feeling good. 

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And guys, yes, I think when, as 
psychologists, when, when we 

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talk about readiness to 
encounter unpleasantness, right?

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I'm, I'm not talking about being
a set of messages again, right? 

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All of us as men back in the 
day, our fathers, our 

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grandfathers were ready. 
They literally when they woke up

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in the morning, they were ready 
to encountering unpleasantness, 

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right? 
And, and, and it wasn't that 

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there was set of messages. 
They sort of be saying a 

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message, just writing in from a 
psychological point of view. 

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He's a person who is afraid of 
pain and trains himself to 

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tolerate it, right? 
That's what we're talking about.

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I'm talking about the suffering 
that that that goes along with 

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growing up. 
Guys, if you want to grow up, if

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you want to become everything 
that that you were meant to be, 

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if you want to become a heroic 
man, if you want to live a 

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fucking heroic life. 
If you if you want to be the 

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father that, that your kids look
up to, if you want to be the 

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fucking man that your wife wants
to fucking bang all of the time,

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right? 
You have to fucking grow up. 

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You need to stop being a little 
boy, right? 

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And then do you see this in the 
difference between little boys 

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and matured men, right. 
And most of us, Young said, the 

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majority of us, of us will we 
left trapped in a life of 

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extended adolescent matured men.
What do matured men do? 

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But matured men face honestly 
unpleasant situations. 

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You guys, can you see, can you 
see the difference here? 

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Most of us as men, we don't, 
we're not willing to honestly 

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face unpleasant situations. 
So what we do, we would draw, we

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run, we hide, right? 
We avoid, do you see this guys 

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today as men, we suffer, right? 
Why do we suffer as men? 

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Why do men have such high rates 
of, of suicide? 

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Why do we have such such rate 
high rates of depression and and

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anxiety? 
Why is it that 80% of of 

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marriages are ended by women? 
When women say, well, you know 

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what? 
I'm not his fucking mother. 

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I, I, I, I have no need to fuck 
a little boy. 

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Like I don't want to be in 
relationship with a little boy. 

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And, and the reason is because 
in in, in, in we suffer because 

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in, in our desire to be pain 
free, right? 

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We, we've literally allowed 
ourselves right or, or others to

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fracture us. 
Guys, can you guys see this? 

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Because we, we so fucking 
unwilling to face our pain and 

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suffering. 
What do we do? 

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I've allowed other people, I've 
allowed myself right to fracture

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me, to cut me up into little 
pieces. 

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You can see this as mentally we 
are no longer whole. 

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We literally are. 
We don't even if we can whole 

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piece of paper, we like 
literally cut down pieces of 

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papers thrown all over the 
floor, right guys? 

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And the truth is right is that 
our true self, what does our 

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soul one, what does the true 
self one our true self, our soul

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right once it needs to be 
complete, right? 

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And, and, and, and if our soul 
is not complete, well, what the 

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fuck happens, right? 
We end up being erotic. 

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We end up with mental health 
issues and mental health 

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challenges. 
We become depressed, we become 

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anxious, we become suicidal, 
right? 

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And even more than it, we are 
left with unfeeling situations, 

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right? 
Our life, guys, look at your 

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life, most of us, right? 
Most of us, our lives are 

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literally like a, a patchwork 
right, of unfinished situations.

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And, and, and even though we're 
not aware of it, right, because 

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they lie beyond our awareness, 
right? 

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All of those unfeeling 
situations, they, they press and

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they press and they press upon 
our psyche right until something

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has a gift. 
Guys, look at your life. 

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Ask yourself in your own life, 
right? 

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How many unfinished situations 
have you left? 

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We start things and then we 
stop. 

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I'm in a relationship. 
It never ever finishes. 

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I need to have a conversation 
with someone, I leave it 

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unfinished. 
I need to sort myself finances 

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00:10:53,480 --> 00:10:54,880
out. 
I leave it unfinished, finished.

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00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,560
I, I need to solve my 
relationship with my parents, my

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siblings, my kids, I leave it 
unfinished. 

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I need to solve my relationship 
with my boss. 

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00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:03,400
I leave it unfinished and on and
on. 

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Guys, can you feel we literally 
our life if you get it wrong, 

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man of most men, the men would 
literally be a patchwork, right 

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of unfinished situations. 
And and, and the thing about 

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unfinished situations is this 
right, as you said, right, all 

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of all of those unfinished 
things, you think, well, you 

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know what? 
Yeah, it's done. 

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It's not done. 
You put it into your fucking 

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unconscious and then you said it
distorts itself from from 

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beyond, from beyond your 
awareness, right? 

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It all of those unfinished 
things, right? 

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They press, they press, they 
press, they press upon your 

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psyche, right? 
Because they have a need to be 

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competed. 
And then guess what, you, you, 

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you literally burst apart. 
You go insane. 

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Can you guys see this guys, 
let's say I have a fight, right,

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with an ex or parents, etcetera,
right? 

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And, and, and, and so I'm, I'm 
really angry with them, right. 

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And So what do I say? 
What do most of us say? 

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Well, even ex persist me off, my
parents persist me off. 

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If my spouse pursue me off, what
do I say? 

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Well, you know what, for most 
men, you know what? 

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Holy fuck, you'll see one day, 
one day I will show you right? 

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In our minds, we say, I vow to 
take revenge right in. 

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And then what happens? 
We'll we have two parts in our 

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brain. 
We have a conscious moralistic 

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mind, right? 
It says, well, you know, hey, 

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Pete, you know what? 
Forget that. 

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Don't be like that, right? 
You better than that, right? 

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So what do I do? 
So, so the mindset stain they 

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desire, they desire for revenge,
right? 

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And, and, and, and shove it into
the unconscious. 

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But guys, guess what? 
Again, right, they, they, they, 

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they, they need to have revenge,
right? 

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To be even with them, right? 
It's still there. 

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It is unfinished business, 
right? 

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And, and, and it's the same with
all of the thousands of of 

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unfinished business that that we
have, right? 

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And guys, This is why men, 
right, need to do the work. 

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I'm going to repeat this for you
guys. 

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Do you see this? 
The, the reason why we do the 

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work, the reason why we do the 
journaling and all of these 

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exercises is we fucking need to 
do the work to do to resolve all

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of those unfinished situations, 
right? 

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Because as, as, as you said, 
until we don't make, make those 

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unfinished things conscious, 
right? 

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And, and resolve them, they, 
they, they will come to the 

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surface in, in distorted 
versions of themselves, right? 

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And even right now, guys, the, 
the, the, the, the thing that 

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that's holding you back, right? 
From growth from from from your 

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growth, right is what he is 
literally the most important 

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unfinished business. 
I'm going to repeat this for you

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guys. 
The two two things to unpick 

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your number one, you say that 
that, that, that, that if you 

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don't make those those 
unfinished things conscious, 

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right and resolve them, they 
will come to the service in the 

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in distorted version of 
themselves. 

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And, and secondly, right, if 
you've been held back in life 

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right now, if you stuck in life 
right now, if you stuck in your 

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relationships, in your work, you
can't find clients, can't get 

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better work, can't earn more 
money, can't, can't have more 

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sex, whatever you stuck in, 
right? 

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The reason that you stuck, the 
thing that's keeping you stuck 

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right, is the most unfinished, 
the most important unfinished 

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00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:06,960
business in, in, in, in most of 
us know right, what an 

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unfinished business is. 
And, and, and if you don't know 

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00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,200
how, the question is how will, 
how do we figure it out? 

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Right? 
And it's simple, become aware of

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the obvious. 
And my favorite question to ask 

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client is what are you 
pretending not to know? 

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Guys, too many of us, right? 
We refuse to become aware of the

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obvious because if you pay 
attention, the obvious is 

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00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:28,200
fucking there, right? 
And and, and, and, and, and when

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00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,960
we, when we choose to not see 
the obvious, well, guess what, 

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we become neurotic, right? 
I'm repeating this past for you 

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00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:38,240
guys. 
Guys, too many of us, we pretend

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00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:42,040
to not know, right? 
What what unfinished business, 

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00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,160
the important unfinished 
business that is holding us 

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00:14:44,160 --> 00:14:46,800
back, that is giving us stuff. 
But you know, what we want to do

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is we want to make a commitment 
to pay attention to the obvious.

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00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:53,280
The obvious. 
It's there, right where they 

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00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:55,800
choose to to pay attention to it
is my choice. 

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00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,200
But guys, again, remember, if 
you choose not to see the 

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obvious, right, you become you. 
You end up becoming neurotic. 

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Guys, any questions before Pete?
Any questions before we end? 

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No, no questions. 
Lots of notes. 

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Great. 
Cool. 

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This will be loaded up as a 
podcast. 

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00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,720
This is a good one, thank you 
man. 

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Thank you man. 
Cheers guys, see you tomorrow.