1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,640 I walked away from God completely when I was in my 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:05,960 teenagers we're. Going to be tackling the subject 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:11,400 of children raising children. God wants our children whole and 4 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,040 healed and serving Him even more than we do. 5 00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:17,960 God is a God of generations, and I think some people get really 6 00:00:17,960 --> 00:00:20,520 discouraged seeing their kids walk far away from God. 7 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,120 There's. So many moms that'll come up to 8 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,440 me and they'll say my child is in this mess right now, my child 9 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:28,320 is doing this. My child is wrestling with the 10 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,960 whole concept of God. And I'll say it's not the end of 11 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,320 the story. We even when I'm in this party 12 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:38,200 and I'm I'm drinking and I'm doing all these things that I 13 00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:41,400 knew I shouldn't be doing. What always stuck with me 14 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:44,640 through that, and actually was the whole main reason of why I 15 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:52,440 came back, was. Well, today I am welcoming my 16 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:57,360 youngest son, Arden Bevier to the podcast and we're going to 17 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:02,200 be tackling the subject of children raising children. 18 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:05,720 And it's been so fun for me, Arden, to watch you and 19 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:10,080 Christian do parenting. I believe better than John and I 20 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,240 did it for you guys. And so we're going to we're 21 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:15,000 going to talk about the things that John and I did right, the 22 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,560 things that we maybe we're over Christian on. 23 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,080 And we're going to be talking about what it looks like to 24 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:23,760 raise the next generation. And you're my you're my youngest 25 00:01:23,760 --> 00:01:25,000 son. So I'm bringing you on first 26 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,560 because I I made the least mistakes with. 27 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,320 You that's what I feel. I feel like I got to watch all 28 00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,040 the other boys go through the things. 29 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,800 So maybe I can speak a little bit of insight into those 30 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:38,080 things, But I know normally you, I'm looking across and I'm 31 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,400 looking at dad and you're normally looking across and 32 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:44,160 looking at Christian And yes, we have kids, but we're, we only 33 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,280 have, you know, a three, a three-year old. 34 00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,000 So we're only three years into this journey. 35 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,640 So I don't really look at it as, as we're experts onto the area 36 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:54,520 at all. I just think I want to lend into 37 00:01:54,520 --> 00:01:56,880 what I saw you and dad do so well for us. 38 00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:00,040 And it's things that I get to model for my kids and begin to 39 00:02:00,040 --> 00:02:03,120 start doing those things. And I'm, I mean, even dad came 40 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:06,040 over the other night and he was praying a prayer over Azariah. 41 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,720 And it was a prayer that he used to pray over us boys. 42 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,479 And I remember I forgot about it. 43 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:14,000 And as soon as he said it, I was like, yes, I forgot. 44 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:16,400 I need to start praying that over as a riot. 45 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,360 And so yes, seeing that going from generation to generation, 46 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,880 because obviously God is a God of generations. 47 00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,840 And I think some people get really discouraged seeing their 48 00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,800 kids walk, walk far away from God. 49 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,200 I mean, I can't even imagine. And I know I've got a three-year 50 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:32,720 old, but I can't imagine watching my kids someday walk 51 00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:36,680 away from the faith or walk away from God and, and what all comes 52 00:02:36,680 --> 00:02:39,440 with that? And so I hope that I can lend 53 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:41,160 some strength into that. Absolutely. 54 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,520 And you know, Arden, I've seen the questions I get asked change 55 00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:46,920 drastically over the last five years. 56 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:49,440 You know, it used to be people would say things like how do I 57 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:54,280 get a book contract or how do I how do I formulate a message 58 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:57,920 that resonates or how do I get invite speaking advice? 59 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,400 I don't I don't get those questions as much. 60 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,920 What I get is how do I stay married? 61 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,360 How do I raise children who love God? 62 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:10,200 How do I raise children who love us? 63 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,080 And you know, just for kind of a frame of reference, where do you 64 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,400 live compared to us? A block away. 65 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,160 Yeah, exactly. Within walking. 66 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:19,560 Distance, yes and we we love that so much. 67 00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:23,160 We love that you guys are close and I'm sure that I mean, 68 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,280 sometimes I look at your dad, I'm like, we can't go over there 69 00:03:25,280 --> 00:03:26,520 every night and say. Goodnight. 70 00:03:26,600 --> 00:03:28,320 I can't understand why you say that. 71 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,080 Because we. Love it I feel like your wife 72 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:33,240 might be like I just would like this evening to to to us but. 73 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,000 I haven't had Christian ever. Complaining about it? 74 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,200 Well, you'd have to tell me because I want to always respect 75 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:42,720 and not not be, you know, so the, the Italian word is pasta 76 00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:45,240 jarre, which means to go for a walk after you eat. 77 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,920 And so it's kind of our thing. We walk, we walk it off and then 78 00:03:48,920 --> 00:03:51,360 we, we go and see your kids because they go to the bed 79 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,080 earliest. And then we get to go see 80 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:55,880 Addison and Julie's children, which are just right around the 81 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,800 corner. And of course, have different 82 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:01,200 conversations with teenagers than we do with a 2 year old, 83 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:04,960 Well, three-year old and. Which can I even say that? 84 00:04:04,960 --> 00:04:07,840 Also, what you were just saying is I've heard dad say so much 85 00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:09,400 recently. Now, as he said, you know, I 86 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:13,000 used to look at a ministry and I used to see, you know, how, how 87 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,560 big is the church? How, how many campuses do they 88 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:17,920 have or how, how many books is the pastor written? 89 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:21,160 And he said, now all I look at is how does his wife look in 90 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,560 order? He saying, when a wife is loved, 91 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,320 well, you can tell when you look at her. 92 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:28,680 And then how, how does his kids love him? 93 00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,040 You know, does his kids love him? 94 00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,880 Just kids far away from him? And and that's not just 95 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:34,240 distance. You know, obviously you can have 96 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,120 a close relationship with your your kids if they live in a 97 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:39,280 different state. But just saying, what's, what's 98 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:41,960 that relationship look like? And he says that's how I 99 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:45,320 determine the health of a ministry now, no longer how big 100 00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:47,920 it is or how effective it is. I don't, I don't know what it 101 00:04:47,920 --> 00:04:50,800 was, but there was something when your dad and I were young 102 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,960 that made it sound like family was a hindrance. 103 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,680 You left them. You serve God, you serve the 104 00:04:56,680 --> 00:05:02,760 ministry and so many, so many families were broken apart by 105 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:06,760 that mindset that did not need to be broken apart. 106 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,600 And I remember something that was really important to me. 107 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,040 I said to, I said, when I was praying and I really felt like 108 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:14,680 the Lord was saying, I want you to minister to women. 109 00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:19,280 I said, I will, I will minister to women as long as it doesn't 110 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:23,320 come at the cost my children. And, and there was, there was 111 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:28,080 cost in certain areas, but I met the cost of you guys not loving 112 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:32,600 God, not loving us, resenting the ministry, resenting the fact 113 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,080 that, you know, whatever that might be, whatever that 114 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:37,840 commitment was. And I've watched, I've watched 115 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,160 you guys. And when I said doing it better, 116 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:43,680 I, I feel like I've watched, you know, I used to have like an 117 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:47,680 elaborate bedtime routine with you and with all the boys. 118 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,440 And I, I remember the first time I had to leave you behind. 119 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,760 I was doing interview, I think you were two and a half. 120 00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:57,320 And I was so upset that I wasn't going to be able to put you to 121 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,280 bed. And I called your dad as soon as 122 00:05:59,280 --> 00:06:03,000 the show was over. And I said, how, how did he cry? 123 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,160 Was he OK? And your dad was like, I think 124 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:08,080 he was relieved I got near the crib and he just dove in. 125 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:11,760 But I would just Rock You and sing to you and pray over you. 126 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:16,200 And, and I watch how you are now putting your your son to bed and 127 00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:21,280 how you take that moment and you spend time with him and really 128 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,480 make it a connection and read with him, which you know, 129 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,920 reading with a child is one of the most important things you 130 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:26,520 can do. Yeah. 131 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:29,480 And you shared actually a video with us recently and showing 132 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:33,400 that the most important kind of minutes in a child's life is the 133 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,000 10 minutes when they wake up. Yes, the 10 minutes before they 134 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,120 go to bed and the 10 minutes when you see them for the like 135 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:42,440 when you come back home and how you just have to be so 136 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,400 intentional. And I was even telling Christian 137 00:06:44,440 --> 00:06:48,480 and again, I have AI have a three-year old, so I know like 138 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,600 this. You haven't. 139 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,160 Had a chance to make a lot of mistakes. 140 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,600 Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm not at the, the, the 141 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:57,720 emotional taxing season of the life, but I'm, I'm maybe at the 142 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,560 tired taxing season life. But what I make sure to do is 143 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,960 every single morning when Azariah wakes up and he comes 144 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,440 out of his room is I make sure it's like the biggest 145 00:07:05,440 --> 00:07:07,600 celebration. And I if I hear his door, I'm 146 00:07:07,600 --> 00:07:13,000 like, is that Azariah? Like he gets, he gets so excited 147 00:07:13,080 --> 00:07:15,480 and even, you know, if he hears the door we're opening, he's 148 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,120 already upstairs playing. He's just goes, hi, dad, dad. 149 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,560 Like it just, you know, you can tell it starts him off on the 150 00:07:21,560 --> 00:07:25,200 right mood going into the day and shows the value that he's 151 00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:27,240 being placed into. And you guys did that with us so 152 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,920 much. And and I will say that that 153 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,520 gave allowances and that gave room for when you guys were not 154 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:35,160 there and when you guys couldn't be there because there was 155 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:36,320 things that were pulling you away. 156 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:40,120 And I think parents obviously feel guilty about that, but I 157 00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:42,720 think what you do in the time period that you are actually 158 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:45,160 there makes up for the time periods you might not be able to 159 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,640 be there. Yeah, I mean, and I know 160 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,640 there's, there's a lot of argument about quality versus 161 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,200 quantity. I think when you're home, it has 162 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,560 to be quality. Yeah, especially if if you're 163 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,760 anything you do takes you away. And again, John and I like John 164 00:07:57,760 --> 00:07:59,720 travelled way more than I did when you were young. 165 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,240 You know, I would do women's things, go out on Friday, come 166 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:04,960 back on Saturday. That was predominantly my mode 167 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:07,600 until you were much older. But you know what I realized I 168 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,360 didn't. Do you work with us at Messenger 169 00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,920 International? Arden, what are you responsible 170 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,920 for? You're making a face right now. 171 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:17,400 He's like, Oh my gosh, it feels like everything right now. 172 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,080 But you're the VP of Cycle Ship. Yeah. 173 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,840 Yeah, which touches a few areas. It's our content that we 174 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,520 release. It's our podcast shows. 175 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:30,400 It's getting to oversee a part of our video team like but 176 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,600 honestly, so much of that is made-up of the team members that 177 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,400 are underneath me. So it sounds like it could be a 178 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,760 lot, but we have an amazing team that does all that. 179 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,280 But just responsible for any of the messaging that's going out 180 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:44,840 from Messenger International, which I've grown into this 181 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:49,400 starting from the the picking weeds at the around the ministry 182 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,960 to go into the warehouse, then going to the prisoner letters 183 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,880 and then then to the partner relations team and then travel 184 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:56,520 assistance. So. 185 00:08:56,840 --> 00:09:00,160 Oh, so you didn't just get to jump right into AVP position 186 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,960 because of like, yeah. And I, and I feel like that's 187 00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:07,720 really important because I, I, I know that we were possibly 188 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:10,680 harder on you guys than we were on our employees. 189 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,480 Like I think that the rule was you all had to start by 190 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,880 volunteering. Volunteering or doing extreme 191 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,880 manual labor. I I know Austin started in the 192 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:20,880 warehouse. I did you do warehouse? 193 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,440 I did wedding 1st and then I did. 194 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:24,200 Which is even worse than warehouse. 195 00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:28,960 OK, yeah. So as far as you know, working 196 00:09:28,960 --> 00:09:32,520 in the ministry, I, I also, I can't remember as you were one 197 00:09:32,520 --> 00:09:37,000 of the other boys. We we were never pastors, no. 198 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:41,240 And I remember one of the boys saying that you guys were 199 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:45,280 different than pastors kids. They said pastors, kids, 200 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:49,560 they're, they like own the place where as ministers, kids are 201 00:09:49,560 --> 00:09:52,840 always visitors. So they're always a guest in 202 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:55,800 somebody else's house. So they're going to behave well, 203 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:58,520 whereas pastors are like, Hey, I, I own this place. 204 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,320 You're coming into my domain right now and I, I do, I do 205 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:07,600 think sometimes that was to your advantage that you always had 206 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,840 this opportunity to travel and sit at the table with people 207 00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:15,120 that were absolutely brilliant people and, and learn from 208 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:17,600 things, but well. Mom and you guys positioned us 209 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:20,920 well and like I'd love for you to share on that because I think 210 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:24,480 that's probably what people are asking is how do I make sure 211 00:10:24,680 --> 00:10:29,280 practically my kids are set up to to walk into a situation 212 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,080 where it's like I feel like I walk into another person's house 213 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,120 and my kids are climbing up the walls or my kids are acting out 214 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,040 or not wanting to be there. Like how did you guys position 215 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:38,920 us? Because there was a lot of 216 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:41,040 things you guys did really well. Yeah. 217 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:43,800 I mean, I feel like we did a lot of things right by accident that 218 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,960 we realized we were doing it right afterwards. 219 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,800 But we at the time it was just kind of hit and miss because we 220 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,560 had, I mean, John, our first, first generation Christian 221 00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:55,320 parents. I do know that we were very 222 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,800 clear that when you met somebody, you shook their hands, 223 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,720 you looked them in the eyes and you said, it's nice to meet you. 224 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:05,920 And I, I remember we told Addison, first born oldest son, 225 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,760 this is what you do. And he's like, OK. 226 00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:10,720 And then we told Austin, when you meet somebody, you look him 227 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,960 in the eyes, say it's nice to meet you, shake their hands. 228 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:15,320 And Austin was like, no, we're like, what do you mean? 229 00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,600 No. He's like, Nope, Nope. 230 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,120 I don't want to do it. I don't want to look him in the 231 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:19,880 eyes. I don't want to shake their 232 00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,960 hands. And I was like, wow. 233 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,800 Because what works with one child doesn't always work with 234 00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:28,240 the next child. And then Alec was like super 235 00:11:28,240 --> 00:11:31,240 happy go lucky. But you know, I was worried that 236 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,960 he wasn't going to stay alive. I mean, he was just reckless. 237 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:39,920 And then you being the youngest, I think I just carried you for 2 238 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:42,160 1/2 years in my arms just to make sure you stayed alive 239 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,320 because the boys were just so wild. 240 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:49,560 But I do think that when you set a pattern with your oldest son 241 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:55,200 of expectations, it sets, it sets up a pattern for the 242 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,320 younger ones. I did have an exceptional 243 00:11:58,040 --> 00:11:59,480 pediatrician when you guys were little. 244 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,760 He, I remember, I heard. About Doctor Banji. 245 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,280 Doctor Kier Nazaro, No. Doctor Kier Nazaro, he's 246 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,520 amazing. He's he no longer is alive. 247 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,040 I he's phenomenal. He was in Orlando and I remember 248 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:18,160 I'd had Addison and then I, I came in with Austin and he said, 249 00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:22,400 all right, your baby is great. Your baby has gained a ton of 250 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:23,560 weight. He was like, I don't even 251 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:27,280 understand how this baby was 711 two weeks ago. 252 00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,400 Now he's 10/3. He said, but I'm looking at you 253 00:12:29,400 --> 00:12:32,880 and you look exhausted. And I said, I am exhausted. 254 00:12:33,080 --> 00:12:38,000 I am exhausted because as soon as, you know, I nurse the baby 255 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,800 that Addison gets up, you know, my 2:00 AM, the 6A, all of this 256 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:44,240 stuff. And he said, well, you can tell 257 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:48,040 Addison he can get up, use the restroom and then read books 258 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:50,120 until you tell them that he can get up out of his bed. 259 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:53,600 I was like, I can do that. I mean, he actually gave me 260 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,160 permission and he said all the other boys are going to follow 261 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,800 his pattern. So you trained the first one and 262 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,800 he said, I know you don't want, it's easier for you to clean up 263 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:04,560 after them, Train them to clean up. 264 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,320 He said make it fun. While it's fun. 265 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,160 I remember you had a little sweeping thing that you 266 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,240 absolutely loved. I'm pretty sure it did nothing, 267 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,720 but we were so excited that you were like, he wants to do this 268 00:13:13,720 --> 00:13:16,040 little rolling, sleeping, sweeping things. 269 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:17,960 I think Azariah. Constantly does that. 270 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:22,080 Of course. Well here's the thing, too many 271 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:28,120 mothers are their children's maids instead of their trainers. 272 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:33,520 And I remember hearing an older, wiser woman say we are called to 273 00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:35,880 love our husbands and train our children. 274 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:39,040 And she said most people love their children and try to train 275 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:42,240 their husbands. And I thought, OK, I am guilty 276 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:44,880 of trying to train my husband while I'm loving my children. 277 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:50,640 And so I do feel like I had permission to train and I and 278 00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:52,960 being their mother doesn't mean I'm their maid. 279 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,920 And again, you guys, I mean, of course, of course you serve your 280 00:13:56,920 --> 00:14:00,800 family, but there's so many women that are so busy serving 281 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,720 their family. They don't train their children 282 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,840 and then their children leave the house and they don't know 283 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:08,120 how to do anything and they don't know how to behave in 284 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:09,600 other houses. I don't know if you remember, I 285 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,840 used to ride you guys about table manners. 286 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:17,360 And because I said manners are things that open the doors, that 287 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,320 if you have bad manners, it closes them. 288 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:21,920 Yeah, so. And I mean, I remember leaving 289 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:24,880 things, small things like laundry, like, yeah, I think I 290 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:28,720 took over my laundry when I was 12 or 13 years old. 291 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,800 And I would have friends come over and I would throw in my 292 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,440 laundry and they'd be like, how do you know what you're doing? 293 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:37,040 And I'm like to be doing this for a long time. 294 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,800 And even when that helped me, because I think you have 295 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:45,320 instances where even leaving the house is men, I'll speak 296 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,000 specifically men, men are coming back and they're relying back on 297 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,720 their mom because there's things they haven't been trained in, 298 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:52,280 right? And they don't feel like they're 299 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:54,720 like, well, I just go back home and do have my mom do this, 300 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,520 which sure, I would. I still come home to your house 301 00:14:57,520 --> 00:14:59,920 and I steal all your food and do those things. 302 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:03,360 But like, there was an element to it where I knew going into my 303 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:05,880 marriage even that I know how to do all this stuff. 304 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,000 But you lived on your own some too. 305 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,560 Yeah, very well. I mean that we lived on our own 306 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,280 even with you guys traveling like that was a that was a real 307 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,480 thing is sure you guys were gone for two weeks there. 308 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,520 It was either we're doing our own laundry or. 309 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:19,920 Your laundry's just. Kind of pile up. 310 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,480 Well, I did have I did have the Viking with you for most of 311 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,280 those two weeks trips. But yeah, but we, we, we did it. 312 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,560 No. Well, here's and I don't know if 313 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:29,000 you wouldn't have remembered this. 314 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,160 There was a snapping point about the laundry. 315 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,120 I remember I would do everybody's laundry, fold it, 316 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,320 put it on their beds, and then all they had to do is put it 317 00:15:37,320 --> 00:15:40,640 away. And I remember Addison and 318 00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:43,520 Austin, you know, they shared a room and you and you and Alec 319 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:47,200 shared A room. And I kept finding Addison and 320 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:51,040 Austin were putting their clean laundry folded into The Dirty 321 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,760 clothes hamper. I'm burying it so they didn't 322 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,680 have to put it away with crunchy gross socks or they would take 323 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,320 dirty socks and put them in with the clean things. 324 00:15:58,360 --> 00:16:00,360 And they were at school one day and I just snapped. 325 00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:03,560 I dumped all of their clothes into the center of the floor. 326 00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,080 And I said, you guys sort out what's clean and what's not 327 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,440 clean. And then I once I got it sorted 328 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,080 out, I said, you're going to meet your new friends. 329 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,480 It's called the washer and dryer. 330 00:16:11,680 --> 00:16:15,840 And I made them start doing their own and drying because 331 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:18,400 they didn't appreciate me doing. And I remember you and outgoing. 332 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:20,680 We appreciate it. We appreciate it. 333 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,120 Do it a little longer. Thank you. 334 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:24,120 Can you please do? We'll put it away And you guys 335 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:26,920 did, I'd do it and I would put it out and you guys would put it 336 00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,080 away. You're like, thank you. 337 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:32,320 But there came a time where I understood that I wasn't going 338 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:34,680 to be serving your wives well if you weren't trained. 339 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,600 And and again, you know, the boys were great then. 340 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,320 I actually think that sometimes the boys feel like they do their 341 00:16:40,320 --> 00:16:43,120 laundry better than I did it. Well, and can I even kind of 342 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,880 transition that over? I think that then comes into the 343 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:50,600 same thing spiritually is you guys didn't just develop a faith 344 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,720 in us. That was your guys faith. 345 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:56,880 You guys were very intentional to develop a faith that was our 346 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:59,040 own faith. And I think that's why you do 347 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,520 see, I mean, I think it's the leading, leading group is young 348 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,359 adults that will walk away from church. 349 00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:07,319 And there's that gap between they graduate from high school 350 00:17:07,319 --> 00:17:09,160 and then they go off and they do their own thing. 351 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,359 They're away from church and then they get married and 352 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:13,480 somehow start making their way back into church. 353 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:17,000 And it's just because why it was, it was their parents faith. 354 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,200 And then it's they start having kids and they're realizing like, 355 00:17:19,200 --> 00:17:21,560 wait, we need to we need to maybe get plugged into a 356 00:17:21,560 --> 00:17:23,880 community. And so they even come back to 357 00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,839 church, not from a spiritual standpoint, but actually more of 358 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:29,400 a community standpoint, the point that then they grow in 359 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,200 spiritually. But you guys were really good to 360 00:17:32,360 --> 00:17:35,600 point us into those directions and challenge us with that, 361 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:40,080 which helped us grow in all. I mean, all four of us love God, 362 00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,280 walk, walk close to God. We feel like and and love our 363 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,480 family because we we didn't have a faith that wasn't our own. 364 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:50,720 Right. And what do you okay, so again, 365 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,760 going off the premise that I'm so thankful that that we did it 366 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,400 well, I know we didn't do it perfectly. 367 00:17:57,400 --> 00:18:00,480 And I want every parent to hear that, that no parent, no matter 368 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,400 how much you desire to do everything perfectly, you won't. 369 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,240 You won't. And maybe you don't feel like 370 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:09,240 you've ever made a mistake with Azariah, but I think by three I 371 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,880 already felt like I'd made at least 2. 372 00:18:11,080 --> 00:18:13,120 So like, you want to do it perfectly. 373 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:15,320 There's no way to do it perfectly, but there's a lot of 374 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:17,600 ways you can do it well. And well means you learn from 375 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,600 your mistakes. You try to do better. 376 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:23,640 John, I know was a great role model. 377 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,640 I know that you guys saw him reading his Bible every morning 378 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,800 that he was home. You knew when he wasn't home in 379 00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:33,480 the morning, he was out praying. I don't think that you saw me 380 00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,120 reading my Bible every morning. You saw me hovering over the 381 00:18:36,120 --> 00:18:39,400 coffee machine. And I am not a great morning 382 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:47,640 person, but I would say that I probably had more conversations 383 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:53,800 and I have very distinct memories of you and I spending 384 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:59,200 time in the car singing worship songs and literally feeling the 385 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:02,120 presence of God and turning to you and saying, do you feel the 386 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,760 presence of God? Where I think sometimes we can 387 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,560 think what has to look like this? 388 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:10,120 And you know, there's the commands of the father and the 389 00:19:10,120 --> 00:19:15,160 instruction of the mother. Listen, I I read and I read my 390 00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,360 Bible, I promise. But morning times, they're rough 391 00:19:18,360 --> 00:19:20,800 on me. I don't know, I found out later 392 00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:25,560 in life that I have low blood sugar and and low thyroid. 393 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:29,760 So mornings are like I need caffeine to even read the word 394 00:19:29,760 --> 00:19:31,360 of God. Like the word of God is not 395 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:34,840 going to even come alive until I have a brain. 396 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,720 So and so I'm. Not to mess with you in the 397 00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,040 morning. Oh, my gosh, Do not come between 398 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:43,000 me and the coffee machine. No, I yeah. 399 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:46,280 And I, again, I'm just kind of saying that for every mom out 400 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,840 there that's feeling the mom guilt, right? 401 00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:51,120 Now, yeah, because I mean, I look at you and Dad not not to 402 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:55,680 do this in a negative way, but I don't remember a like spiritual 403 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,000 retreat that you guys took us on. 404 00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,000 Now, you took us on a lot of trips to go see, you know, 405 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,720 ministry being done and things like that. 406 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,080 But I don't remember like a formational. 407 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,720 We're going to go on a spiritual retreat. 408 00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,440 We're going to go, We're going to go camping and I'm going to. 409 00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,040 Can you imagine your dad camping? 410 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,560 Yeah, no, I remember seeing him one time and that was not. 411 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,120 No, you came home with me. You came home with me. 412 00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:17,160 We both opted out and didn't spend the night. 413 00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,360 Yeah, but it wasn't like had to be this big done up thing. 414 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:24,040 And I know, you know, I think there's some even amazing 415 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:26,800 teaching out right now that's really encouraging those things. 416 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:30,000 And then people can look at that and be like, I have no time to 417 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,560 be able to do that. I, I've got so much onto my 418 00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:35,720 plate And I, I look at the time period that you guys were with 419 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:40,160 us is it's exactly that is you modeled it and then you spoke it 420 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,640 over us continually. And I think there was 421 00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:44,720 conversation about it. Yeah, there was always. 422 00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,640 So I know over dinner there was always conversation like I'm 423 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:52,440 thinking of a conversation where even Addison was married at this 424 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:55,000 point and Julie was at the table and we all were even talking 425 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,920 about you with the idea of dating. 426 00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:58,960 Like should you date? Should you not date? 427 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,720 You were you were young, you were like 15. 428 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:05,800 And we are talking about like, Hey, you, you can date, but this 429 00:21:05,800 --> 00:21:07,480 is what's going to happen. You'll never be friends with 430 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,440 that person again if you guys break up. 431 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:13,640 But you know, just having a hole around the table conversation. 432 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,680 So I feel like our family, somebody asked me, what did you 433 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:20,160 guys do devotions? And I, I mean, I, I was out to 434 00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:23,280 dinner with this beautiful couple and they do regular 435 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,920 devotions with their 850 children. 436 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:30,000 No, they, I mean, they, I'm like, Oh my gosh, don't, don't 437 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,760 look at me. But even though we didn't do 438 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,920 regular devotions, I feel like our family model being devoted 439 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:42,800 and and I think sometimes the devotion for one family can look 440 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:47,320 like being devoted and another family, it looks like systematic 441 00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:51,840 and consistent as far as like doing a family devotional like 442 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:54,960 moment for us. I know we a dinner was huge for 443 00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:55,960 us. We're Italians. 444 00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,640 Dinner is where we talk. Dinner is what we do, clean up 445 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,800 afterwards and then, you know, lingering after dinner and 446 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,960 having conversations was unusual. 447 00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,640 Which is actually funny is I? Because we used to always clean 448 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,840 up dinner, we'd put on songs or like, funny. 449 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,760 Somebody, somebody used to throw themselves on the floor. 450 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,880 Yeah, just to get out of cleaning, but that's different 451 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:17,400 stories. But like we would do that 452 00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,000 intentionally. And I, I heard someone talk 453 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,480 about it recently. He was doing a bunch of things 454 00:22:22,480 --> 00:22:25,000 on parenting and stuff. And he said one of the the best 455 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,680 ways that I found to get my kids to clean up afterwards was just 456 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,560 throw on a song. And he's like, for some reason 457 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,640 everyone just worked harder. Did like. 458 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,960 But what did Dad do? What did Dad do well? 459 00:22:35,120 --> 00:22:37,960 Dad would just as soon as he finished dinner, he would just I 460 00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,120 got to go do bills. I got to go do bills and 461 00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:42,840 sometimes sometimes it was sent. I came, yeah. 462 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:45,520 I came around the corner one time and I saw my settlers of 463 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,400 Katan. We never, we never let him 464 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,560 forget that one, that one. It could have been the only 465 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:51,880 time, but we never let. Him forget it. 466 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,800 We never know, but you guys did just do so well of of of living 467 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:59,080 a life devoted and and I think what you also did really well 468 00:22:59,080 --> 00:23:01,480 was you didn't separate your life. 469 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:03,600 You didn't have ministry over here and family over here. 470 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:06,600 You did a really great job of integrating us into that. 471 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:09,640 OK, so how did how did because again, like I said, we are doing 472 00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:13,480 it by accident. What was what was the ways that 473 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,480 you saw us do? I do know I do. 474 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:18,840 I do know maybe like 2. Like I know that I took you to 475 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:20,680 church every Sunday. Yeah, that was always a 476 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:25,520 priority, which can I say this is if a father and mother take 477 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,240 their kids to church. So if a father and mother go 478 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,920 together, it's like 72% chance that your kids will actually be 479 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:32,600 saved. And that's an amazing chance. 480 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:35,400 If just the mother goes to the church, it goes down. 481 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:38,120 It goes down by I think it's like 14 or 15%. 482 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:42,280 But if it's, if it's sorry, if it's just the father who takes 483 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:44,960 the kids, it goes down by 14%. So like thanks God, thank God 484 00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:47,680 for, for father or for mothers within that situation. 485 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:49,760 Because if the mother's not involved in there, it drops down 486 00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:53,360 to 50 something percent. But if it's just the mother that 487 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:57,920 is the one that's taking the kids to church, it drops 52% 488 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:01,800 from 74 something percent all the way down to 20 something 489 00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,480 percent. And I, I just don't have this, 490 00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:05,760 this, this exact stats, but you could look it up. 491 00:24:06,080 --> 00:24:08,840 So there is a dramatic decrease when it's. 492 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,840 Just the mother. Or the father's not present. 493 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,840 So it's not like making sure it's not just enough that if 494 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:18,080 you're you're just as the mom is taking the kids to church and 495 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,520 the father's like, well, I'd rather just watch football today 496 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,280 and and hang out. Like there is a very intentional 497 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,480 thing. And sure, Dad was not present 498 00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,400 most Sundays because he was travelling and speaking at 499 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:29,960 someone else. Which is which? 500 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:32,600 Even though I traveled and spoke on Friday and Saturday, I took 501 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:34,240 you guys. You guys would say, yeah, yeah, 502 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,440 you would never. You wouldn't come. 503 00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,680 You wouldn't come back and say I've been in services all week, 504 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:38,760 I'm not going to another service. 505 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:41,800 But then God gave us motherly figures that were there at 506 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:45,480 church that that invited us in and would sit with us. 507 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,200 I mean, I'm thinking specifically, obviously our 508 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,200 pastor, but then also like Rod, Rod Shear, my one of my best 509 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,440 friends, Paul Sutton. Yeah, Paul Sutton, Like these 510 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:57,800 these dads that were my friends, dads that knew and understood 511 00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:00,760 where we were and it and it kind of brought in that village to 512 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:04,920 raise kids and we saw godly men modeled in different ways. 513 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:07,080 And it didn't have to just be from the parents of 514 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:09,720 understanding you're not every, you're not going to be able to 515 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,760 make every on Sunday, but you, you can be intentional of doing 516 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:15,360 those things. And then of course, coming back 517 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:19,040 to like the integrating and what that looks like is you guys 518 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:21,000 obviously would bring us into the ministry. 519 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,160 You would. John would always share what he 520 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,480 saw, what came back, always talk to you guys about what the Holy 521 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,920 Spirit was speaking to him, what he learned. 522 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,240 Yeah. And he brought us into the, the, 523 00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:35,760 the work that he was doing from a value standpoint of like, you 524 00:25:35,760 --> 00:25:38,760 guys are a part of this. I mean, I look at it and I, I, I 525 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:42,720 remember clearly looking at dad and realizing while you, you 526 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,320 have been away for my birthday eight years in a row. 527 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,560 And I, I remember like just not holding that in terms of a like, 528 00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,800 I can't believe you've been away eight years in a row. 529 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:55,160 It was just a realization like you haven't been and part of my 530 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:58,160 birthday since I was 14. Like that's, that's crazy. 531 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:01,080 But it was never something that became like, I figured see that 532 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,080 becoming something that was a triggering point or trauma point 533 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,000 for a kid. It was more there was something 534 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:09,120 that I looked at as like, wow, like that's that's actually 535 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,920 pretty interesting. But I see the value of what 536 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,840 you're going to do because you sat us down and said, every 537 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:18,040 single soul I touch, every single person I reach, you guys 538 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,640 are a part of it. And you guys are. 539 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,840 Do you guys see us as sending you sending us out or do you 540 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,400 guys see us as being taken away from you? 541 00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:27,920 And we all said sending out. And so we understood like we 542 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,760 don't feel like this is the other thing, Like we get dad on 543 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:33,840 Monday through Thursday, hopefully. 544 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:36,160 And then there's the other thing that he's got to go to, and 545 00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:38,720 that's the same thing for, you know, that's not just ministry. 546 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,520 You can bring them into your work environment just looks a 547 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,120 little bit different. You have to get creative with 548 00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:45,000 that. But I would say your dad 549 00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:49,720 probably regrets that and I'm not and I'm not, no. 550 00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:51,760 And I'm not saying it's wrong that he regrets it. 551 00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:54,480 I think that I think that that was. 552 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,560 Coming back of what you said, where it was back in the day. 553 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:58,440 Absolutely. You had to sacrifice. 554 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,680 You had to do that. But what you're saying is you 555 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:06,320 made a choice to not resent, not resent it and say I'm not going 556 00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:09,360 to let myself resent that. I'm going to. 557 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:12,120 But but I do remember you saying something and I thought it was 558 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:14,600 really beautiful. I know that you were. 559 00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,440 I can't remember if you had just had Azzie or Christian was 560 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:20,720 preparing to have Azzie. And I think I said something 561 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:25,960 like, wow, your dad went back to work when Alec was three days 562 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,360 old and you said you said something. 563 00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:33,960 You said it so well. You said, mom, I love dad and I 564 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,720 respect my dad, but I'm going to do it different. 565 00:27:38,120 --> 00:27:41,000 And, and, and that's the thing that actually every parent 566 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,840 wants. Like there's things that that 567 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:46,520 you, because you didn't get bitterness, you didn't get 568 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:48,880 offense. You said I love and I respect 569 00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:53,400 like 8 years, 8 birthdays, you know, but but you can do it 570 00:27:53,400 --> 00:27:56,280 different and if you know better, you do better. 571 00:27:56,400 --> 00:28:00,040 And that's The thing is I know that for me, I watch you and I 572 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:03,200 say this everywhere that I feel like you and Addison and you 573 00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,800 know, Julie and Christian, the four of you and Alec and Maddie 574 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:09,640 and Austin, just that you're doing marriage better. 575 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:12,240 Like you're, it's not that John and I did it bad. 576 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:15,080 It's like you've taken the things we did right and you've 577 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:19,720 layered more of a promise on it. You know, you grew up 578 00:28:19,720 --> 00:28:22,160 Christians. John and I became Christians 579 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:25,680 later in life. You grew up and and I've always 580 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:28,640 watched. You have a heart to grow. 581 00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:31,720 And you know, I know that with most kids, you, you had a little 582 00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,480 period. You had a little period. 583 00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:34,640 Away from God. Completely. 584 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:35,480 Yeah. What was that? 585 00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:36,840 Tell me about that. Teenagers. 586 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:40,600 I was, I think it was actually, it was maybe the start of that 587 00:28:40,600 --> 00:28:42,240 conversation. No, actually it was a little bit 588 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,800 earlier on, but when my sophomore year early in high 589 00:28:44,800 --> 00:28:46,840 school is I just walked away from God. 590 00:28:46,880 --> 00:28:49,000 And what, what did that look like for you and what was what 591 00:28:49,200 --> 00:28:51,320 caused it? To me, it was like, I know God's 592 00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:53,200 real. I've seen all the amazing things 593 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:56,200 that he's done in our through our family and and in the 594 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:57,760 miracles stuff. Like I'm like, there's no 595 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,000 undeniable reasoning and I know God is real, but at that point 596 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,640 in my life, I was like, I just didn't care. 597 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:08,320 And I wanted to choose more of the worldly mindset and the 598 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,320 things that I thought was going to be fulfilling in my life to 599 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:14,120 party, hang out and do all the things that I saw my friends 600 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:18,120 doing and, and date of someone that was not a believer, like go 601 00:29:18,120 --> 00:29:21,040 through all of these things that I just knew was not right. 602 00:29:21,360 --> 00:29:25,680 And it's funny because I think obviously everyone's going to 603 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:29,240 navigate a season maybe in some way or capacity with their 604 00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,920 children. But I remember during that time 605 00:29:32,200 --> 00:29:34,640 is you guys didn't even know that I was going through that 606 00:29:35,160 --> 00:29:37,800 and I suspected you suspected because. 607 00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,680 I almost caught you twice. When I came home a little yeah, 608 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:46,080 but but what always stuck with me through that and actually was 609 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:51,120 the whole main reason of why I came back was I could never get 610 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,440 out of my head what you would continue to speak over us boys 611 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:58,280 that you would continue not to speak into if you did catch us 612 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,200 into something of like you guys are just liars. 613 00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:02,600 You guys are are this or you're doing this. 614 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:04,400 You would speak hey, you're a Prince. 615 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:08,000 You're Prince of the most high God and Princess do not act like 616 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,240 that. And you would speak identity 617 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:14,520 over us so that we even when I'm in this party and I'm I'm 618 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:17,000 drinking and I'm doing all these things that I knew I shouldn't 619 00:30:17,000 --> 00:30:19,200 be doing. All I'm hearing in the back of 620 00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,160 my mind is not hey. You're. 621 00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:24,440 You're just a rebellious child. And this is, and I'm just 622 00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,640 furthering like, yeah, look, I am rebellious, like, and I'm 623 00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:28,760 trying to prove it. All I'm hearing is, no, you're 624 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:32,400 Prince, there's a call of God on your life and what are you doing 625 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,480 here? And it just continued to keep 626 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,600 being the factor that would just pull me back. 627 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:39,760 And I think it's it's important because I think a lot of parents 628 00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:41,880 probably think, well, I don't know how to handle that 629 00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:43,640 situation. Do you think you just were 630 00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:44,880 worried you were missing something? 631 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:48,360 Yeah, missing out, yeah, like. So what was the turning point? 632 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,800 It was when we were in San Diego. 633 00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:52,800 I knew it. It was at the dinner table. 634 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:54,840 No, it was not. It was during Daddy's message. 635 00:30:55,120 --> 00:30:56,360 Yeah, it's during Daddy's message. 636 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:57,920 You. And Addison both had a 637 00:30:57,920 --> 00:31:00,560 significant moment during your own father's message. 638 00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:02,640 Yeah, but I don't even remember what he's preaching on. 639 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,560 I just remember looking at him and just feeling like there was 640 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:10,000 just a light coming from him and I just heard so clearly a voice 641 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,320 to say, what are you doing? And, and of course, at that 642 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:14,040 point, I knew everything that I was doing wrong. 643 00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,160 So it was really easy to make a quick 180. 644 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,200 And then the fear of God hit me and I just said, all right, like 645 00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:21,200 I'm, I'm doing, I'm doing it all. 646 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:23,080 I remember you came home, you broke up with your girlfriend. 647 00:31:23,240 --> 00:31:27,240 Girlfriend and then vowed not to not to touch alcohol again. 648 00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,200 And and only listen to worship music. 649 00:31:29,200 --> 00:31:32,240 I remember you, you said I'm I'm going on a fast where I only 650 00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:34,960 listen to worship music. Dove into the word of God and 651 00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:38,840 then then God used me to go back to those parties and I actually 652 00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:40,640 shared the story with with our team. 653 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,920 But I was in one of those parties and I remember God just 654 00:31:43,120 --> 00:31:45,080 a prompting. I was like, so even unfamiliar 655 00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:47,880 with Holy Spirit prompting to go talk to this one girl and I went 656 00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:51,240 and just asked had some awkward conversation with her and asked 657 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,080 asked a simple question of how she was doing. 658 00:31:53,080 --> 00:31:56,320 And she then begins to just cry and tells me how she was was 659 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:59,160 going to kill herself after that party if no one showed her any 660 00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:02,920 kind of love or attention. And I watched as God just used 661 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,760 that season in my life. And I just believe so strongly. 662 00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,160 It was just because of the words that were overshadowed over me 663 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:14,040 from my parents that were spoken over me that were keeping me and 664 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:18,880 like using my season of bondage and season of of trying to, you 665 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:22,320 know, rebel in a way to over shadow it. 666 00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:24,440 And if anything just saved that girl's life. 667 00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:27,320 But then also there was a lot of other kids, kids that every time 668 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,840 I go to a party that would love to hear about God because for 669 00:32:30,840 --> 00:32:33,520 some reason, you know, when you're a little tipsy, you 670 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,720 really start to question these big, big life questions for some 671 00:32:37,720 --> 00:32:39,280 reason. And it's really easy to share 672 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:41,480 about the gospel. And so I found that as a great 673 00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:44,080 opportunity. But I saw the things that you 674 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:48,040 spoke over me begin to start interacting when I stepped back 675 00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:50,240 into that place. And it was just because of the 676 00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:52,680 words that you guys crafted. And you were at a public school. 677 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:54,360 Yeah, Yeah, you were at a public school. 678 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,840 You know, one of the things I, I want to just highlight for every 679 00:32:57,840 --> 00:33:00,080 mother out there is it's not the end of the story. 680 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:04,760 Like there's the, I hope you're hearing that the word of God was 681 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,760 following Arden, even though Arden wasn't following God, like 682 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:11,360 the word of God, the what you spoke over him, the promises of 683 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:12,840 God. There's so many moms that'll 684 00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,520 come up to me and they'll say, my child is in this mess right 685 00:33:15,520 --> 00:33:17,120 now. My child is doing this. 686 00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,240 My child is wrestling with her sexuality or wrestling with her 687 00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,960 identity or wrestling with the whole concept of God. 688 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,480 And I'll say it's not the end of the story story. 689 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:28,720 And Jacob did wrestle with God there. 690 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,640 There comes a time or sometimes you have to go from being the 691 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:37,880 God of our parents to my God, you know, the place where Jacob 692 00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,160 and I love this symbolism. And again, I've just been 693 00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:42,880 pondering on. But ever since I heard about it, 694 00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:48,840 about how when someone Jacob is running from his brother, going 695 00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:55,200 to his his his mother's brother and he's asleep and, and dreams 696 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:58,680 of Bethel, he dreams of this angels coming up, angels coming 697 00:33:58,680 --> 00:33:59,920 down. He wakes up and he's like, 698 00:33:59,920 --> 00:34:04,080 surely, surely God is in this place. 699 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:08,360 But he was in a barren space and so many kids are in a barren 700 00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:11,480 space right now. But God can speak to your kid 701 00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,320 through a dream. And what does he do? 702 00:34:13,320 --> 00:34:16,480 He takes the stone he's been laying on, He stands it up, He 703 00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:21,120 makes it a pillar, he anoints it and and he says this is a holy 704 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,280 place and God has holy meetings for your children. 705 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:25,520 He does. I believe that. 706 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,960 I believe that we as parents, we need to understand that God 707 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:32,880 wants our children whole and healed and serving him even more 708 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,719 than we do. But I love the idea of when you 709 00:34:35,719 --> 00:34:37,840 anoint something, it looks like you're pouring light. 710 00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:41,360 And so no matter what kind of dark your child might be 711 00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:46,320 dabbling in right now, prayer works, consistency works, 712 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:49,120 speaking to who they're becoming and not who they are on that 713 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:51,040 moment. That changes things. 714 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:55,159 And we just need to pour light onto any spaces of darkness. 715 00:34:55,159 --> 00:34:57,840 Yeah, Yeah. I think Mom, a question I would 716 00:34:57,840 --> 00:35:01,360 ask to even in that is as you guys progress through that 717 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:05,160 process, what do you feel like was the defining thing? 718 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,200 Because I think you guys did do a couple things. 719 00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,680 And I know you said you had an intentional bedtime routine, you 720 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,480 spoke stuff, but there was also a few things that you guys did 721 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,480 that were really intentional whenever you did have moments to 722 00:35:15,480 --> 00:35:18,680 cultivate and speak that identity over us outside of just 723 00:35:18,680 --> 00:35:21,440 even calling us Princess. But I'm thinking specifically 724 00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,600 the way you would pray over us before we go to bed and, and the 725 00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:29,040 things that you would allow, the things that you would say no to 726 00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:32,040 and stuff like that, right? I think as parents we had they 727 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:33,600 had to, we had to put a safeguard on. 728 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:35,720 Yeah, I do, absolutely. And I know, I know. 729 00:35:35,720 --> 00:35:39,080 Even with it's hard. Like there's, you're constantly 730 00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:43,160 navigating and it's so much easier to just say everything is 731 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,720 wrong or everything is right rather than actually teach your 732 00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:48,480 children how to understand the nuances. 733 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:52,160 Like, for example, when it came to secular music, we told you 734 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,840 boys, you can listen to music as long as it doesn't dishonor God, 735 00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:59,280 dishonor men, dishonor women, dishonor marriage, dishonor 736 00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:03,000 authority. If you can listen to music that 737 00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,600 celebrates life, celebrates marriage, celebrates men, men, 738 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:09,880 women, whatever it is we, we wanted you to make good 739 00:36:09,880 --> 00:36:12,600 decisions because there's other things we get caught in your 740 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,720 mind. And I do think that's the 741 00:36:14,720 --> 00:36:19,440 teaching children how to think instead of hiding them from this 742 00:36:19,440 --> 00:36:22,240 deep Dark World. Help helping them understand the 743 00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:24,800 difference between the two. I know that we watched, we'd 744 00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:28,360 watch movies with you guys and there were certain things that 745 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:32,160 we didn't just say what every movie that's if that's G is good 746 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:34,600 and every movie that's not G is bad. 747 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:38,200 There were some G movies. Literally I heard somebody just 748 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:42,560 this morning talking about how, wow, the Disney movies, the 749 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:45,800 Nickelodeon channel, that, you know, all these children's 750 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:50,160 channels, they actually make the parents look like villains and 751 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:54,600 that it's it the strong children rebel and are disrespectful. 752 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:57,240 And that was something your dad would pick up on this and be 753 00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:00,480 like, that child was just disrespectful and got everything 754 00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:02,600 they wanted. And so there there's these 755 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:06,520 nuances that we actually would try to actually, you know, talk 756 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:08,480 to you guys about. And I even remember being like 757 00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:11,680 in stores and having a kid, hearing a kid have a meltdown. 758 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:15,040 And I would ask you, what do you do you think how he's talked to 759 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:17,920 his mom? Because I remember that is you 760 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,360 guys didn't just look at, I'm just going to use a very clear 761 00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:23,400 example, Harry Potter and you didn't just say to Harry Potter 762 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:26,640 like, no, Harry Potter's wrong and you can't watch it. 763 00:37:26,640 --> 00:37:29,080 I know it like maybe it's a great movie, but no, you can't 764 00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,320 watch it. And I, I remember you guys 765 00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:34,520 taught us why it's wrong, Like why, why the witchcraft was 766 00:37:34,520 --> 00:37:36,920 wrong. Why is just even opening up the 767 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:38,680 door, what that can lead to that? 768 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,960 I remember I went to a birthday party when I was probably like 8 769 00:37:41,960 --> 00:37:44,680 years old. I was calling and I and we were 770 00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:47,440 doing a movie night marathon and it was like, let's see how many 771 00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,000 movies we can watch. And we started with some simple 772 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:51,480 movies. And then it was like the third 773 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:55,080 movie was Harry Potter and Colin and I both looked at each other 774 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:57,080 and we just said, all right, we're going to fall asleep 775 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,880 during this one because we can't like we can't shut it off. 776 00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:02,160 But you know what? We're going to be upstairs 777 00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,040 overlooking the balcony. We're just going to fall asleep. 778 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:06,720 And we did do that. And then they woke us up and we 779 00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:09,280 watched the next movie. And so it was like we knew it 780 00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:10,960 wasn't this like we're at a party. 781 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:15,360 My parents will never find out. They there's no way it was, it 782 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,240 was because why we didn't just hear it's a no because there's 783 00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:21,840 almost that rebellious like, OK, well, let me see what I'm 784 00:38:21,840 --> 00:38:24,960 missing that I even navigated when I was in high school, but 785 00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:28,480 it was more of an informed decision of I'm not going to 786 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:30,880 partake in this because this is what it's going to do to me. 787 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:34,400 And I understand that rather than just no, you can't do that. 788 00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,560 And that was something very intentional you guys did with a 789 00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,400 lot. Of I remember we were like, hey, 790 00:38:38,400 --> 00:38:42,120 we understand that everybody has a, you know, like Harry Potter, 791 00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:45,400 everybody wants to be part of Harry Potter because everybody 792 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,560 wants to be special. Everybody wants to experience 793 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,080 match magic. But really what the hungry for 794 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,440 is the supernatural. They want to know. 795 00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,120 And it's like he was, he was abandoned, but he had a 796 00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:00,320 different parentage. And the truth is it resonates 797 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:03,560 with all of us wanting to be born again, but it's the wrong 798 00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,840 it's, it's all about self, it's all about evil. 799 00:39:06,120 --> 00:39:09,440 And so for us, it was like, you can watch Narnia, Narnia, Narnia 800 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:11,040 magic. That's the kind of magic you 801 00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:13,600 need to do. In the process of integrated. 802 00:39:13,600 --> 00:39:20,280 You met Ben spell and then I went to live action for one of 803 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,080 their galas and I got to meet Ben Spell. 804 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:28,560 And then we were like, wait a minute, we love what they stand 805 00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:32,560 for, they good ranchers. We think they're amazing. 806 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,840 And which? I mean, one of the, hey, one of 807 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:39,360 the practical ways just to raise good kids is to feed them well, 808 00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,480 make sure that you're not giving them things that's pumped full 809 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,480 with hormones and all the things that you don't want to do. 810 00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:46,760 And so that's why we do love Good Ranchers, which you can go 811 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,320 over to goodranchers.com and you can even learn more for 812 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,440 yourself. But Good ranchers, they are 813 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:56,000 sourcing all local meat from local family farms. 814 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:58,640 You're getting it. There's no, there's no hormones, 815 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,160 there's no steroids that are putting. 816 00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:01,080 No antibiotics? No. 817 00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,840 Antibiotics like, you know, it's clean meats that's coming from 818 00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,840 them and they came alongside this, this this podcast, not 819 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:09,000 just from Hey, we want to get our name out there, but they're 820 00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:11,040 they believe in our mission. They believe in what we're. 821 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,320 Doing and we believe in theirs. And that's and that's why we're 822 00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,760 sharing. About it, did you know over 90% 823 00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,960 of the meat is not coming from American farmers, It's coming 824 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:22,040 from overseas. And all it has to be is just 825 00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:27,960 processed in the US And so we want to empower American farmers 826 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:31,880 to have, you know, and it's not just beef, it's also chicken. 827 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,960 Chicken bacon Like there's a. Lot of trade stuff. 828 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,520 Which I mean that was, but they are doing it and you don't have 829 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,920 to worry about like because it is local, like you don't have to 830 00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,120 worry about the deals that's going on, tariffs or anything 831 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:42,960 like that. But they are doing a special 832 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:44,800 offer. If you use the code Bavir, you 833 00:40:44,800 --> 00:40:48,440 get $40 off plus you get the best deal yet that they've ever 834 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:52,200 done, which is a year's supply of either free bacon, ground 835 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:56,160 beef or seed oil, free chicken Nuggets like there's and even 836 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,880 wild caught salmon like there. There's a really great thing. 837 00:40:58,880 --> 00:41:04,560 So go over to goodranchers.com, use the promo code BAVIR and you 838 00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:06,480 can get this special offer today. 839 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,880 Yeah, it's amazing. And you can you can customize 840 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,000 what you want to order. Yes, we love it. 841 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:13,960 We're ours is ours is going to be part of Lizzie's birthday 842 00:41:13,960 --> 00:41:15,520 party. She wants G daddy chicken. 843 00:41:15,560 --> 00:41:17,520 Yeah. So go over to goodranchers.com. 844 00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:20,520 Good ranchers. American meat delivered. 845 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:22,680 You know, Arden, you were the youngest. 846 00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:28,200 So talking about discipline, I think all the other boys would 847 00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:29,720 say we disciplined you the least. 848 00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:33,920 But I would also I would argue that you needed it the least 849 00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,960 because why? Because I watched all of them 850 00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:41,280 just paid close attention to what what not to do, what to do 851 00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,840 and or maybe I mean how to as obviously rebellious stage, how 852 00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,040 to make sure I got away with that thing. 853 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:51,480 So that was not my best years, but but I did watch, yeah, I did 854 00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:53,400 just take into account and learn. 855 00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:56,720 But I mean, I really appreciated how you guys disciplined. 856 00:41:56,760 --> 00:42:00,440 And actually it's been something that I've been wrestling through 857 00:42:00,440 --> 00:42:03,680 with having a daughter because I watched how you guys discipline 858 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:09,200 with four boys, which you guys, you guys did spank us and you 859 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:10,600 guys had. Spank not beat. 860 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:15,880 You just spanked and and I mean, I've heard people use this 861 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,600 scripture, take the scripture and and formulate some 862 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,680 completely different thing about you know how sheep and this 863 00:42:21,680 --> 00:42:23,320 sounded. But it's the Bible says spare 864 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,800 the rod, hate the child and and he who hates correction is 865 00:42:25,800 --> 00:42:27,960 stupid. So dad was very clear of like, 866 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:31,680 hey, when I'm doing this, this is I'm I'm I'm doing this 867 00:42:31,680 --> 00:42:35,720 because I love you and you should not hate correction in 868 00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:37,880 your life because that would be stupid of you. 869 00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:40,800 And so you I said like the clear standards, like you hit your 870 00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,280 brother, you get 1 spanking. I think it was if you hit a 871 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,600 younger brother, so you you always got clearance on that 872 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:48,000 because there was no younger brother. 873 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:49,880 I punched Austin in the face one time, so. 874 00:42:49,880 --> 00:42:51,120 Did you get spanked for it? Yes. 875 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,200 I did. I was in the car with you did. 876 00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:55,200 I spank you. Yeah. 877 00:42:55,480 --> 00:42:56,720 Oh my gosh, I don't even remember. 878 00:42:56,720 --> 00:43:00,240 I put this out of my mind. But you guys had clear 879 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:03,000 boundaries that you set up for us in order for us to do. 880 00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:06,200 And then you always held to those. 881 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:08,800 And I think that was something that I've even looked at from my 882 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,640 son. And I've been very careful to 883 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:16,280 make sure like I don't just jump right into hey, as if you do 884 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:19,240 this, then you're going to spank because I know if I threaten it, 885 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,400 I'm going to have to hold it. You don't want to. 886 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:22,960 Spank for everything? No. 887 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,000 Yeah. Spanking should be reserved only 888 00:43:25,000 --> 00:43:27,600 for things that put in danger. Very few. 889 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,080 Well, children. Like endangerment. 890 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:32,520 Yeah. Or like real big issues. 891 00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:35,520 Because you can have other consequences for other choices. 892 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:36,960 Yeah, yeah. But you guys, yeah. 893 00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:38,840 And you guys did that? So I could throw a ball in the 894 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,240 house. Different. 895 00:43:40,240 --> 00:43:42,600 Things, yeah, that doesn't get spanking, that that means you 896 00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:44,720 lose the ball for a while, but that's a consequence. 897 00:43:44,720 --> 00:43:46,280 Yeah. But one thing that I really 898 00:43:46,280 --> 00:43:49,240 appreciated through all that, and I think This is why I, I 899 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:52,800 almost feel like we have swung the pendulum and tried to go so 900 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:56,160 far the other direction and we've taken away maybe this, 901 00:43:56,280 --> 00:43:58,200 this spanking part of it. Like how dare you would ever 902 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:01,720 even like hands on your kid. There was never a moment where 903 00:44:01,720 --> 00:44:04,560 you guys discipline me that I felt like you were doing it out 904 00:44:04,560 --> 00:44:08,840 of a place of anger or frustration or or that is 905 00:44:09,440 --> 00:44:13,080 because why is every single time dad or you would spank us, you 906 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:16,560 would sit there and then you would take a moment and you 907 00:44:16,560 --> 00:44:19,080 would talk to me and you'd be like, you understand why I 908 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:20,880 spanked you. You understand why you can't do 909 00:44:20,880 --> 00:44:22,440 that now. Do you understand how much I 910 00:44:22,440 --> 00:44:24,640 love you? And like you would show that it 911 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:28,480 was a it was not a punishment. And then now go back up to your 912 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:31,520 room. It it was a the we had this 913 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:34,240 clear moment table. Well, it's been wipe clear. 914 00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:35,920 Do you understand this? Do you understand how much I 915 00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:37,600 still love you? All right, let's go through it. 916 00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,960 And I think we've almost seen this where it's like parents now 917 00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:42,520 are trying to, like, love their kids. 918 00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:44,840 Like I was watching a video the other day and the guy was like, 919 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,280 yeah, I saw my kid do something. And he said, and I wanted to 920 00:44:47,280 --> 00:44:48,600 respond and, like, tell them not to. 921 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:49,880 He's like. But then I took a second and 922 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:53,240 just thought, what are they feeling right now? 923 00:44:53,640 --> 00:44:55,640 And he's like, so I just sat there and like, what are you 924 00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,680 feeling, daughter? And I was like, I mean, what? 925 00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:00,760 Like, no, she clearly did something wrong. 926 00:45:00,760 --> 00:45:02,680 It's not about like. Sure you can identify that, but 927 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:05,840 there needs to be correction. You can ask those questions. 928 00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:07,280 You can ask those questions. Exactly. 929 00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:10,360 That's what I was going to say. And, and I, I laugh at it 930 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:14,160 because I, I look at all these things and it's new parents who 931 00:45:14,160 --> 00:45:16,400 are doing it and they're almost doing it because their parents 932 00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:19,240 maybe were too hard with it and weren't showing the loving side 933 00:45:19,240 --> 00:45:21,160 that needed to balance out the correction. 934 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:22,920 And so they like, swing the pensions. 935 00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:26,320 Or they weren't ever dissuined. I do feel like I do feel like 936 00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,880 we're dealing more with children though that weren't ever. 937 00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:30,280 Yeah, just. And that might be it. 938 00:45:30,280 --> 00:45:33,640 Yeah, But they swing that pendulum and then they're giving 939 00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:36,120 insight of how it's gonna work within. 940 00:45:36,120 --> 00:45:39,320 Yet it's like me saying no, it's gonna for work for sure. 941 00:45:39,320 --> 00:45:40,920 But we don't know about. 3 year old. 942 00:45:41,040 --> 00:45:45,200 It's not, it's not proven, but I look at me and my brothers and 943 00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:48,600 I'm like, it worked. And if you do it out of the 944 00:45:48,600 --> 00:45:50,600 right way, if you do it out of the right motive, you're clear 945 00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:52,680 with it. And I'm not saying spanking is 946 00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:55,240 going to be the. Yeah, you don't spank for 947 00:45:55,240 --> 00:45:57,960 everything. I'm just saying discipline as a, 948 00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:01,520 as a general thing, whether that discipline looks different for 949 00:46:01,520 --> 00:46:05,040 you or not, it's just those needs to be moments of building 950 00:46:05,040 --> 00:46:07,720 opportunity. And I mean, mom, like, I'd even 951 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:09,320 love to hear from you. Like, what were things that 952 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,880 maybe even Dad talked about as you guys thought about how we're 953 00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:13,080 going to discipline our children? 954 00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:14,440 Yeah. Well, I think there was some 955 00:46:14,440 --> 00:46:17,160 things that were big conversations for us before we 956 00:46:17,160 --> 00:46:23,280 had children was we did not believe in children that didn't 957 00:46:23,280 --> 00:46:25,960 do chores. Like we believe that if you were 958 00:46:25,960 --> 00:46:29,800 part of the family, you do chores and we don't believe in 959 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:33,440 paying for children for doing chores around the house. 960 00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:36,880 We would give money for over and above. 961 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:39,360 So that kind of showed people like, Hey, we're already paying 962 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,560 for the house. We're paying for everything in 963 00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:44,720 the house. So you helping out around the 964 00:46:44,720 --> 00:46:48,360 house, you know, like making your bed or do those are just 965 00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:50,400 basics. I'm not going to pay you to make 966 00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:54,520 the bed that was but but if there was an over and above, 967 00:46:54,760 --> 00:46:58,840 then we would give you money. And that money was something 968 00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:00,880 that, which helped you learn how to handle it. 969 00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:07,160 But it also it, I think it also created this idea that I, I live 970 00:47:07,160 --> 00:47:09,200 in this house. This is my parents' house. 971 00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:12,920 They provide for me and I need to, to honor and take care of 972 00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:17,280 it. And then I'm not entitled, you 973 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:20,880 know, but when I work then that that makes sense. 974 00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:23,720 So I think that was one thing that was a big thing for your 975 00:47:23,720 --> 00:47:25,600 dad. And also matching about a car 976 00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:28,080 was really important to us. We said, you know, we're going 977 00:47:28,080 --> 00:47:31,360 to match up to a certain amount of whatever you guys save. 978 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:34,120 So if you'd saved X amount of dollars, we'd give you X amount 979 00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:35,440 of dollars up to a certain amount. 980 00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:39,200 That was key to us. We also believed in investing 981 00:47:39,200 --> 00:47:42,280 and making our home fun. We didn't want fancy, we wanted 982 00:47:42,280 --> 00:47:44,320 fun. We wanted to have a ping pong 983 00:47:44,320 --> 00:47:46,320 table. I think we had ping pong and 984 00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,560 foosball. We wanted to be the place where 985 00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:52,760 all the kids wanted to come. And so I had an alcoholic 986 00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:56,240 father, so people couldn't come to my house because or my mom 987 00:47:56,240 --> 00:47:58,600 might be flipping out, so I could not have friends. 988 00:47:58,600 --> 00:48:03,200 And for me, there was such a longing to have a safe space for 989 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,880 people to gather. So that was a huge thing that we 990 00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:08,680 talked about ahead of times. And then, you know, we also 991 00:48:08,680 --> 00:48:13,360 talked about what, what will we, what, what will we, what will it 992 00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,160 look like? What will the tone be in our 993 00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:18,400 house? And, you know, do we talk these 994 00:48:18,400 --> 00:48:20,480 things through and do we ahead of time? 995 00:48:20,800 --> 00:48:23,600 Never discipline in anger, always wait till we're calm 996 00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,720 down, always wait till it's clear when the child's not 997 00:48:26,720 --> 00:48:29,120 emotionally, I can't even hear because my parents would spank 998 00:48:29,120 --> 00:48:30,480 me. And all I kept saying was, am I 999 00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:31,520 getting a spanking? Am I? 1000 00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:33,680 I mean, I didn't even know what the lesson was. 1001 00:48:33,680 --> 00:48:35,800 I'm just like, am I getting a spanking or try to run out the 1002 00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,160 front door? So I think there were certain 1003 00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,440 things that were really important to us. 1004 00:48:40,880 --> 00:48:43,560 And then I think it was really important to us that that we 1005 00:48:43,560 --> 00:48:45,520 played with you guys. And I know your dad was really 1006 00:48:45,520 --> 00:48:48,720 good about taking you guys out for golf, playing baseball with 1007 00:48:48,720 --> 00:48:52,560 Alec, street hockey, playing different games. 1008 00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,920 I know being engaged was super important to us. 1009 00:48:56,520 --> 00:48:58,520 Yeah, I agree. So those were things. 1010 00:48:58,520 --> 00:49:01,600 And I mean, I know somebody asked Alec, how do we raise four 1011 00:49:01,600 --> 00:49:03,880 boys that love God? And he said they played cards 1012 00:49:03,880 --> 00:49:07,120 with us and they spanked us, which was an oversimplification, 1013 00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:10,760 but possibly showing that we enjoyed you guys and we 1014 00:49:10,880 --> 00:49:13,040 disciplined you. We didn't just discipline or 1015 00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:16,360 just enjoy, we did both. And I do look at my son right 1016 00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:20,200 now and I'm like, man, he is. When I see him around other 3 1017 00:49:20,200 --> 00:49:22,760 year olds, I'm like, he is so obedient. 1018 00:49:23,120 --> 00:49:25,800 He is so joyful too, like you would. 1019 00:49:26,080 --> 00:49:28,440 And he's just so aware of things. 1020 00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:31,880 And so I really believe that's because of we've been able to 1021 00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:35,680 establish good discipline in his life in a healthy way, but then 1022 00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:39,080 also love him very well. So it's like he's not scared, 1023 00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:42,560 he's not timid, he's not out, you know, outbursting and doing 1024 00:49:42,560 --> 00:49:45,120 his own things. It's just, I feel like it's been 1025 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:48,320 an establishment of discipline. And so talking that through 1026 00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:50,040 obviously with your spouse because you want to make sure 1027 00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:51,360 you're on the right same page with your spouse. 1028 00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:54,400 It's not good if you guys have different opinions on that, but 1029 00:49:54,400 --> 00:49:56,520 figuring out a good a good common ground of. 1030 00:49:56,520 --> 00:49:58,640 What and being consistent. Stay consistent with it. 1031 00:49:59,080 --> 00:50:03,080 Because I didn't know whether I was going to be grounded or, you 1032 00:50:03,080 --> 00:50:06,080 know, like I could be grounded for not finish my oatmeal And 1033 00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:09,680 then if I stayed out late two hours past my curfew, not get 1034 00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:12,040 there was inconsistency for me growing up. 1035 00:50:12,440 --> 00:50:14,880 And you know, I just want to say this to every mother, every 1036 00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:18,200 father out there that you're like I I have already messed up. 1037 00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,320 Listen, there was a moment where I actually came to my children 1038 00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:24,200 and I said, listen, I've been yelling when I shouldn't have 1039 00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,720 been yelling. I've been doing this, doing 1040 00:50:26,720 --> 00:50:27,920 that. I've been threatening and then 1041 00:50:27,920 --> 00:50:30,520 not following through. I'm not doing that anymore. 1042 00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:34,960 I'm going to calmly say something one time and with 1043 00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,880 clarity and with kindness. And you can ask me for questions 1044 00:50:38,880 --> 00:50:42,520 if you don't understand. But once it's clear there's an 1045 00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:46,080 expectation that obedience, you guys hated this was right away 1046 00:50:46,080 --> 00:50:49,800 all the way and in a happy way. And so attitude was so 1047 00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:53,800 important. Understanding that if obedience 1048 00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:56,640 needs to be right away, because what if that child was running 1049 00:50:56,640 --> 00:50:58,680 into the street? Obedience was right away because 1050 00:50:58,680 --> 00:51:02,080 it's of a safety factor or a misunderstanding. 1051 00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:03,840 A child can think, yeah, I'm gonna do that two hours from 1052 00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:05,120 now. But a parent would perceive it 1053 00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:09,240 as disobedience right away all the way, which means we do it 1054 00:51:09,360 --> 00:51:11,520 all the way to completion. We don't do it halfway. 1055 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:15,120 And so it's never too late to do a reset. 1056 00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:19,840 And again, I want to emphasize, there's so many things that John 1057 00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,440 and I can look back and say we wish we would have done it 1058 00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,040 different. I'll tell you the redemptive 1059 00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,520 portion of visit. We're seeing our children take 1060 00:51:26,520 --> 00:51:30,800 the building blocks we gave them and then doing it better. 1061 00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:34,200 And so don't beat yourself up. Know that you can be the 1062 00:51:34,200 --> 00:51:37,720 beginning of something and you want every generation to add 1063 00:51:37,720 --> 00:51:41,880 another layer of blessing, ungodliness and consistency and 1064 00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:46,120 love and fellowship around that. So I'm just believing that this 1065 00:51:46,120 --> 00:51:48,840 is a new day. Arden, can you pray for those 1066 00:51:48,840 --> 00:51:50,920 that are out there that are like I would? 1067 00:51:51,120 --> 00:51:53,640 Love for you. To pray. 1068 00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:55,080 All right. OK. 1069 00:51:55,720 --> 00:51:57,240 Yeah. Father, I just thank you. 1070 00:51:57,240 --> 00:52:00,680 I thank you for the mother's and I even thank you for maybe the 1071 00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:05,200 sons or daughters that happen to be listening and say, I wish I 1072 00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:08,240 had known or I wish I had been parented different or I wish I 1073 00:52:08,240 --> 00:52:11,280 had parented different. And father, I thank you that you 1074 00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:14,040 said your mercy is new every single morning and that we can't 1075 00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:17,760 beat ourself up about the past or we can't go back and change 1076 00:52:17,760 --> 00:52:20,560 things that were, but we can build a brand new future. 1077 00:52:20,880 --> 00:52:22,480 And so father, I thank you for hope. 1078 00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:24,800 I thank you for faith. I thank you for love. 1079 00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:28,680 I thank you for a new beginning. I think you that children are 1080 00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:32,280 the heritage of the Lord. And so we want to follow your 1081 00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:35,800 statutes, not the opinions of other people, parenting experts 1082 00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:39,000 or whatever who don't know you don't love, you don't follow 1083 00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:40,760 your statutes. So God, God, forgive us for 1084 00:52:40,760 --> 00:52:43,280 going our own ways thinking we're smarter than you. 1085 00:52:43,640 --> 00:52:48,400 God, we want to do it with consistency, with love, and God, 1086 00:52:48,400 --> 00:52:52,840 we want to do it with discipline and never in a punitive, hateful 1087 00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:54,840 manner. We want to position the next 1088 00:52:54,840 --> 00:52:58,360 generation to go further and farther in Jesus name, Amen.