1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:03,960 I just remember my motherhood journey as like a blur. 2 00:00:04,360 --> 00:00:07,880 I thought I am not enjoying my children or my marriage. 3 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:11,160 I'm just. Surviving Mother is not a title, 4 00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:14,280 it's a task. I had played with dolls, I had 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:17,640 played with Barbies, I had met the man of my dreams. 6 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:19,560 I was like, OK, I'm ready for this. 7 00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:25,000 And so I was surprised by how much of the time I felt like I 8 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,000 had no idea what I was doing. I think. 9 00:00:27,200 --> 00:00:31,800 I was surprised First off, how much isolation has grown within 10 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,720 motherhood. Like how do I show up and look 11 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,200 like the perfect? Mom, I feel like mothers are 12 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:41,440 incredibly hard on themselves. And when you're hard on yourself 13 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:44,600 long enough, you take it out on other people. 14 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,600 And I took it out on my husband. Look, can I interdict and ask 15 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:53,520 what shifted from the season that you just described? 16 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:55,240 So one of the things. Was. 17 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,480 Welcome to the Least of Year podcast and we're going to be 18 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:05,000 talking today about all things motherhood. 19 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:09,760 And I am so excited because joining me today are two of my 20 00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:13,520 beautiful, magnificent daughter in law's Juliana Bevier, the 21 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:19,160 mother of four, and Christian Bevier, the mother of two. 22 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,880 Now, this is what's fun. Juliana is doing preteens and 23 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:25,640 teens and Christian is doing toddlers. 24 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,280 So I kind of feel like we can run the gamut when we talk about 25 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:32,360 motherhood. And first of all, I just want, I 26 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:34,600 want to say this on the very beginning. 27 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:38,840 We celebrate motherhood and there is no such thing as I'm 28 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:43,000 just a mother. We all know that mothers do way 29 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:47,080 more than people even see or can imagine. 30 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,240 So we're going to dive right into the conversation. 31 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:52,880 I'm going to ask the question, oh, Julie, since you've done 32 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,880 mothering the longest between the two of you, what is 33 00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,840 something that surprised you that you learned about yourself 34 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:05,800 by being a mother? Oh man, something that surprised 35 00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,600 me. There are so, so, so many 36 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:13,520 things, the teenage years that I mean, they're shocking every 37 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:17,800 single day in some of the best possible ways. 38 00:02:19,080 --> 00:02:24,320 I think what surprised me though, was so much of myself 39 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:29,840 that came alive and grew through motherhood. 40 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,480 I mean, I became a mother when I was really 19 is when my son was 41 00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,880 growing inside of me and 20 when I birthed. 42 00:02:35,880 --> 00:02:38,480 Him I remember I kept saying don't give birth yet I don't 43 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:40,160 want a teen pregnancy in our family. 44 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:45,560 Just joking. Technically we had it anyway and 45 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,960 I, I was surprised by how hard it was. 46 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:50,960 Honestly, I had. That motherhood was hard. 47 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,080 Oh yeah. See, yeah, motherhood. 48 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,880 I had babysat. And so I thought I was ready. 49 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,720 I was ready to be a mom. I had played with dolls. 50 00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:03,360 I had played with Barbies. I had met the man of my dreams. 51 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:05,320 I was like, OK, I'm ready for this. 52 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:10,680 And so I was surprised by how much of the time I felt like I 53 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:15,160 had no idea what I was doing. Which is such a relief to 54 00:03:15,160 --> 00:03:18,560 everyone. It's just, you know, I, I I 55 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,200 should have shared the advice someone had given me when I was 56 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:26,840 pregnant with your husband. Somebody said, relax, your baby 57 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,320 has no idea. You don't know what you're 58 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:29,160 doing. Yeah. 59 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,640 And that was such a big comfort to me because you are making it 60 00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:36,600 up as you go along. And what works with the first 61 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,680 baby? It doesn't work with the next 62 00:03:38,680 --> 00:03:42,840 one, no. Yeah, because I remember Asher. 63 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,920 Like you'd lay him down and he'd go to sleep. 64 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:49,080 And I remember Sophia Blood. Curdling. 65 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:55,240 Throwing everything out of the bad area, just like Passy gone, 66 00:03:55,400 --> 00:03:57,520 blanket gone. I remember I babysitter, I had 67 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,720 to set the timer because the blood curdling screen was so 68 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:03,400 intense that I wanted to rescue her right away. 69 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,560 And I was like, Julie said I have to wait this long. 70 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:11,960 And she'd be like sweaty. And like, I was like, Oh my 71 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,480 gosh, yeah. Totally different personality. 72 00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:18,519 We were like cut throat baby wise parents, which if I were 73 00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:21,480 parenting now I probably would do a bit different. 74 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:26,760 But I think that part too is surprising to me that you, you 75 00:04:26,760 --> 00:04:32,000 do what you know to be best and inevitably you make mistakes and 76 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:37,040 somehow it's still OK. Like you bring the humility, the 77 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,080 surrender. You and I were in a church 78 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,280 service recently. I don't know if Christian went 79 00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:46,320 to church that day. And the pastor said pastor is 80 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:50,240 not a title, it's a task. And I've thought about that so 81 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,480 many times. I I have said it out loud a 82 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,880 couple times to people. Well, and it reverberated in my 83 00:04:54,880 --> 00:05:00,880 mind as mother is not a title, it's a task, and it's a task 84 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:05,200 that even from the moment you discover you are a mother, your 85 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:10,360 body is already doing it without you signing up or anything. 86 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:13,000 I mean, you know you there there were things that happened that 87 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:18,480 created this life within you, but that reality of mother is 88 00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:20,840 not a title. It's a task and a task that 89 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:24,320 before you even knew you were doing, your body was doing. 90 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,120 And there's something within that Lisa, that unforced rhythm 91 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:33,000 of grace where I don't know I've lost sight of it so many times 92 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:38,640 through my 17 years of making a baby and mothering children. 93 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:45,480 I'm I'm I feel the Lord, just a fresh welcoming me to this place 94 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:48,360 like hey, you're you're already doing it. 95 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,320 It doesn't require you being cognitive of every single 96 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:56,560 decision for it to be happening like I'm in this. 97 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:58,600 You said yes. Here we go. 98 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,680 Well, first and foremost, I just want you to know that I watched 99 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:04,800 both you and Christian from the outside. 100 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:08,000 It looks like you are doing IT support superbly. 101 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,680 I'm like, I'm so glad because I just remember my motherhood 102 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:16,160 journey as like a blur. Like they all survived. 103 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,480 I fed them. But I just feel like there was a 104 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:24,000 blur of me yelling, me feeling bad for yelling, me not yelling 105 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:28,440 me, like just me not sleeping. It just feels like there's this, 106 00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:31,640 this the blessed blur. Obviously all grown up and 107 00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:35,760 married now, but I mean, I from the outside, I always see you do 108 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:39,560 it very graciously. And sometimes John and I, we, we 109 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:43,560 when we come over, we watch your teens interacting with y'all. 110 00:06:43,560 --> 00:06:45,480 I'm like, oh, I, I remember this. 111 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:49,120 I remember this, this is this feels fair. 112 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:53,360 This feels fair. One of the funniest moments for 113 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:57,760 me was when you told me that you were having a, a conversation 114 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:00,760 with, with Asher and you looked at Addison as it go down the 115 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,560 street right now and apologize to your buddy. 116 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:06,840 I was like, it might fix some things. 117 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:10,240 All right, So, Christian, what thing about motherhood has 118 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,880 surprised you? First of all, we all need to 119 00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:16,680 know Christian has come into the motherhood of boys world. 120 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,840 Like Julie grew up with brothers. 121 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,520 She's got a younger brother and an older brother. 122 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:27,480 You came from female Infinity. So Azariah is still the first 123 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:33,000 boy and 50 plus years, I think there's like 13 granddaughters. 124 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,800 And so they're like, what did you do? 125 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:36,040 Like what? How did you? 126 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:36,760 Do that. Yeah. 127 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,200 It's like go to Italy. I don't know, come from an all 128 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:41,160 boy family. Yeah. 129 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,960 I mean, on the positive side, I've been just so delighted. 130 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:49,080 And, you know, I think my son is 3 going on 30. 131 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:52,560 He just has like an old soul, sweet, tender heart. 132 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,160 And that was a surprise in and of itself. 133 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:58,640 Like there's kind of like Julie said, you know, so much going 134 00:07:58,640 --> 00:08:01,080 in, but then there's so much that you don't know until you 135 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,280 discover it. And the kindness of little boys 136 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:08,520 mixed with the testosterone rises and the car love is has 137 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:14,280 been really sweet. Yelling backhoe digger like 138 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:18,320 excavator everything. How quickly your brain can auto 139 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:20,480 tune to that like where you're driving solo and you go school 140 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:22,200 bus. Oh wait, no one's no one's on 141 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,360 the car. It's surprising. 142 00:08:24,360 --> 00:08:29,960 But it you know, there's I think I was surprised First off, how 143 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,960 much isolation has grown within motherhood. 144 00:08:33,159 --> 00:08:35,919 And there is this expectation, like I know you say that is a 145 00:08:35,919 --> 00:08:39,559 very kind gesture of, you know, from the outside it looks great. 146 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:42,799 But a lot of people, if they don't have close knit family or 147 00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:46,160 community, they don't know how to have anything past that. 148 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,480 It's like, how do I show up and look like the perfect mom? 149 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:50,320 How do I make all the school treats? 150 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,600 Have you know, the hair bows in which you know, there is this 151 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,640 beautiful, tender kind part of motherhood, but then there's 152 00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:01,000 also this struggle for so many moms that are doing it alone. 153 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:03,640 And maybe that's why someone even clicked on this video 154 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,720 because you're like, I need the secret tips because I feel like 155 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,800 I'm failing. So even just hearing you both 156 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,200 admit that and say that is like, there are days where you lose 157 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:16,920 your temper. There are times when even the 158 00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:20,120 way that women are driven to motherhood is so different than 159 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:22,880 fatherhood. I've seen that the way we have 160 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,600 estrogen in women is protective of a lot of things, but we're 161 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:31,440 more Privy to, you know, mental health anomalies. 162 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:35,600 And some of that I think is beautiful because our brains are 163 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,640 wired to hear our children in the middle of the night. 164 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:38,880 They are wired to be. I was. 165 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:40,280 Going to say it's called sleep deprivation. 166 00:09:41,480 --> 00:09:44,800 It's called craziness, but there's just so much that I 167 00:09:44,800 --> 00:09:48,000 think, you know, God created and has to be protective, but we're 168 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:51,480 not necessarily protecting ourselves as mothers by being 169 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:54,680 vulnerable With the right community, there's not a torch 170 00:09:54,680 --> 00:09:58,040 being passed for many people. I'm so thankful for the way that 171 00:09:58,040 --> 00:10:02,560 I have you and Julie and my family around me and the amount 172 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:05,920 of times I feel like every mom needs another mom to text, 173 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:07,440 especially with their first baby. 174 00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:09,760 Like, don't Google everything. Don't think you're failing. 175 00:10:09,760 --> 00:10:13,280 Just have a confidant. I mean, and Julie was that for 176 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,160 me in a lot of ways. And I've been able to be that 177 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,240 for other people. And I hope there is this new 178 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:22,560 shift coming in motherhood because with social media in 179 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:25,720 your own thoughts, it's so easy get trapped in the motions and 180 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,240 then feel like you're failing rather than realize you are 181 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,840 becoming and you are learning, kind of what Julie was saying. 182 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:36,400 Listen, as Italians we believe there is nothing as important as 183 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:40,400 a good family meal together. And I'll tell you this, good 184 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:43,280 ranchers makes it so easy to do this. 185 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:47,640 It is 100% American meat, pasture raised with no 186 00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,200 antibiotics and no added hormone. 187 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,160 If you want to learn more, go to goodranchers.com. 188 00:10:54,160 --> 00:11:00,040 Use a code Lisa Subscribe to get a free meat for life and $40 off 189 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:05,800 your very first order with the code Lisa goodranchers.com 190 00:11:06,120 --> 00:11:08,840 American Meat delivered Christian. 191 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,200 What has you found to be the most challenging? 192 00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:15,360 Is it feeling like you're making up as you go along or what? 193 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,280 What has been the most challenging? 194 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:29,120 To be really raw, probably the most challenging has been I 195 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,600 think there was the inevitable balance that I first realized 196 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:34,400 when my first like, OK, well, how do I coexist with this woman 197 00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:37,560 that I've becoming been becoming for the last 20 something years 198 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:39,960 and this mother. And then when I welcomed my 199 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:45,480 second, I started having just inconsistencies with my health 200 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:49,680 and that played into emotional areas and you know, my patience 201 00:11:49,680 --> 00:11:52,280 and all these things where I used to think I'm patient and 202 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:56,840 I'm light hearted and kind. And then recently I've just felt 203 00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:58,920 like my patience is off, my health is off. 204 00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:02,040 I can't control how I feel every single day. 205 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:07,320 And you know, that's scary to think how how do I be there for 206 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:10,840 everyone when I don't know how I'm going to show up each day? 207 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:19,680 How do I be a rock for them while wondering like how to take 208 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:21,680 care of me? And I think every mother's fear, 209 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:24,040 whether you feel incredible or whether you are shopping, I know 210 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:26,280 there's moms with postpartum depression. 211 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,320 There's people that don't have anyone around them. 212 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,560 That's a scary thought is like these people rely on me. 213 00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,960 What if I let them down or if let my husband down? 214 00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,160 And so that's been that's been kind of my struggle as you see 215 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:41,680 all these beautiful chips in front of you. 216 00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:43,760 And it's really is this daily surrender. 217 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:47,640 Like what can I do today? And for me, as you know, call it 218 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,960 a first born daughter, call it the, you know, whatever it is, 219 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:53,840 Southern passive aggressive Bonifer, maybe a perfectionist 220 00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:57,840 is realizing there are some chips that might fall and that's 221 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:01,280 OK. That's kind of my my dance right 222 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:05,080 now. So I went to bed every single 223 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,680 night with a list when I was a young mother. 224 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:12,920 And the list was well, first of all, I was really good at taking 225 00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,320 care of everybody but myself. That was for sure that I was the 226 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:19,920 last person to be taken care of. And I even it even played out 227 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:23,600 with laundry, like I would wash all the clothes, but I would I 228 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,520 would put away everybody's clothes except for mine. 229 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,560 Mine would be in the hamper. I was like, what is wrong with 230 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:29,840 me? I trifle John's underwear and 231 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:32,920 put it away. And mine is like wadded up in a 232 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,840 laundry basket. What is wrong with me? 233 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:39,360 And, and I had to really realize there's a big difference between 234 00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:42,320 taking care of yourself and being careless with your health. 235 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:44,360 Because I was like, I'm denying myself. 236 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:46,560 I'm a martyr. I'm taking care of my family. 237 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:49,840 I'm taking care of my husband. I'm self sacrificing. 238 00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:53,240 Yeah. And, and I don't, I, there's 239 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:57,560 this moment where I specifically remember we had blue carpet. 240 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,480 So I remember the carpet. I remember I have laundry spread 241 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:02,760 out on the floor. I've just like dumped a load 242 00:14:02,760 --> 00:14:04,200 out. I'm sorting through the laundry. 243 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:05,440 I've got children running around. 244 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:10,200 And John looks at me and said, do you want to go golfing? 245 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:15,240 And I'm like, what? I mean, I'm like, first of all, 246 00:14:15,240 --> 00:14:17,800 I'm like, what in the world possessed you to think that 247 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:19,400 right now? Does this. 248 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:23,640 I'm folding laundry, you know, possibly hygiene challenged. 249 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:25,680 I'd be like, what, what made you think? 250 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:29,040 And then I was like, well, you've got, I've got children in 251 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:31,680 laundry and, and he said, well, we could get a babysitter. 252 00:14:32,120 --> 00:14:34,960 And I and I was like, do you see this laundry? 253 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:41,160 And what I wanted him to do was get down on the floor, fold it 254 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:44,560 for me with me, not for me with me. 255 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:48,720 Arrange for a babysitter. But I remember in the moment, he 256 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:50,680 looked at me and said, oh, yeah, OK, bye. 257 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:55,680 And I just remember thinking, he's not a mind reader. 258 00:14:56,200 --> 00:14:59,240 I'm furious with him. But I didn't even tell him what 259 00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,440 I wanted. And I wanted him to carry the 260 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,320 load with me. And yet he was like, I need, I 261 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:08,440 need a break. And I wanted him to make that 262 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,720 break possible for me. And when he didn't do it, I was 263 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,360 mad at him. But I never even said, that 264 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,320 sounds amazing. I'm not sure how I could do 265 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:18,080 that. I was just, I've made it sound 266 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:19,520 impossible. And he was like, yeah, you're 267 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,720 right, It's impossible. And just, and I, I remember 268 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:26,160 after that, I thought, I am not enjoying my children or my 269 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,240 marriage. I'm just surviving. 270 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,560 I am just, I'm not flourishing. I'm just surviving. 271 00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:35,640 And then every night I went to bed and I thought you didn't get 272 00:15:35,640 --> 00:15:37,720 enough done. You, you know, you didn't get 273 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,520 enough done with this. And I was editing John's books, 274 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:45,440 taking care of, you know, Arden, you know, and, and I was, he was 275 00:15:45,440 --> 00:15:47,720 gone so much. It was just like this rhythm of 276 00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:51,200 just every single day. I felt like I I failed every 277 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,840 single day. And I feel like, you know, maybe 278 00:15:55,160 --> 00:16:00,080 the moms out there don't have a husband that travels or a book 279 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:04,640 to edit or four children, but they have Instagram constantly 280 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,440 telling of them. Look at their house. 281 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,720 What's your house look like? I mean, my house was a Lego 282 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:11,720 explosion. I mean, there was just constant, 283 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:14,920 constant, you know, laundry in the hamper because if they were 284 00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:16,400 all clean, I had no place to put it away. 285 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:19,920 I mean, it was just a constant. And I feel like mothers are 286 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:25,160 incredibly hard on themselves. And when you're hard on yourself 287 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:28,360 long enough, you take it out on other people. 288 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:32,680 And I took it out of my husband because I didn't want to take 289 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:36,200 out on my children. And yeah, I mean, I'm just 290 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,280 looking back and there's so many things that you know what you 291 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:42,440 just said, you want to be there for everybody, but if you're not 292 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:46,240 getting it from God, then you have nothing to give. 293 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,480 And there's that. There was this book where the 294 00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:53,840 the person that opened up, they said, she said, who mothers, the 295 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:56,600 mothers. And unfortunately, we don't have 296 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:01,120 the older women mothering the younger women and we don't have 297 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,440 the mothers of mothers or there's been some generational 298 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:07,440 breach. And I know for me, I knew what 299 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,119 the kind of mother I didn't want to be, but I didn't know how to 300 00:17:10,119 --> 00:17:11,640 become the mother I wanted to be. 301 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:16,119 And again, I, I look at both of you with such admiration and I 302 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,640 love that you're being vulnerable. 303 00:17:17,839 --> 00:17:20,680 But I guess I would say to both of you, you're probably both 304 00:17:20,680 --> 00:17:23,560 doing better than you know. And even with all of our 305 00:17:23,560 --> 00:17:27,640 mistakes like you highlighted, Julie, even even the things that 306 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:31,560 I can look back and regret, they became God gaps for my children 307 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:35,600 to seek God, seek their father God and he filled those gaps. 308 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,960 So what has been? What would be your? 309 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:40,960 Current challenge right now, Can I interject and ask you what 310 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:45,880 shifted from the season that you just described and the 311 00:17:45,880 --> 00:17:50,480 realization that you had, what shifted and help like 312 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:53,600 illuminated the way? Forward from them and I wish it 313 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,600 was just like an immediate shift I started to take some some 314 00:17:56,600 --> 00:18:01,600 steps so one of the things was I had to I had to actually give 315 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:03,920 myself permission to take care of myself. 316 00:18:03,920 --> 00:18:06,640 I remember I listened to this lady saying exactly what I 317 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,760 brought up earlier about there's a difference between denying 318 00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,240 yourself and neglecting yourself. 319 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:15,640 And she said when you neglect yourself, you actually bring 320 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,720 your worst version of self to the people who need you at your 321 00:18:18,720 --> 00:18:21,840 best. And and so I thought, I am not 322 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,760 denying myself. I'm not being godly. 323 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,480 I'm not being a martyr. I'm neglecting myself. 324 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:30,320 And it was when I was pregnant with Arden, we had a car wreck 325 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,160 or I had a car wreck. John wasn't with me. 326 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:36,080 I had a son was in the back seat was and I was picking up, I 327 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,040 think Alec or Austin from somebody's house. 328 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:43,000 And I was turning, I was turning right and a Dodge Ram pickup 329 00:18:43,200 --> 00:18:46,400 hydroplaned and hit my Honda Civic. 330 00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,720 And so because we are, I took the whole impact of as the 331 00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:53,480 driver pregnant hit the wind hit, hit the hit the steering 332 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:56,920 wheel with my, you know, my pregnant body whiplashed. 333 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,440 Horrible, horrible. I like when people were like, I 334 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,800 have whiplash. I was like, you're a whip. 335 00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,080 And then the next whiplash. Exactly. 336 00:19:05,080 --> 00:19:07,800 That's all I thought. Well, the next day I woke up and 337 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,320 I was like, what is this excruciating headache? 338 00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,280 What's going on? You know, I don't know what's 339 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:17,920 going on and like broke a tooth like my jaw like like jutted. 340 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:20,960 I broke a tooth off, you know, like my, one of my bottom teeth 341 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,720 broke because my jaw clenched up. 342 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,280 It was terrible. And I'm like, what is going on? 343 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:31,560 And what happened was insurance paid actually for a housekeeper 344 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:34,280 and I would never have a housekeeper. 345 00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:36,240 I was like, they don't do a good job. 346 00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:39,280 I do it better. And after after that I was like, 347 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,160 come in, my friends come. I don't care what you miss, just 348 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,640 come in. I mean, like I went from I went 349 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:48,360 from and this is terrible and my kids will remember this. 350 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:54,760 I went from being that mom that would bleach the grout on my 351 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:58,840 tile floors with a toothbrush. I would scrub it with a 352 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:01,760 toothbrush and like comment and bleach and as in my head 353 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,720 thinking no one gets this grout as clean as I get. 354 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,800 I can't believe John would ever want to hire a cleaning. 355 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,960 This is pre accident pregnant with Arden scrubbing late at 356 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:16,920 night and I remember I'm putting my three boys to bed and it was 357 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,120 Austin. He was on the top bunk, or he 358 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,000 was. He was on. 359 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,480 Maybe Alec was on the bottom. I don't remember. 360 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,760 Anyway, hi, I remember I would pray over the boys and I have 361 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,440 them put their fingers up. It's called 3 fingers. 362 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,960 And I pray for them and have them put their fingers down when 363 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:31,760 they were done being prayed for because they'd always say you 364 00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:32,760 shouldn't remember to pray for me. 365 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,240 So I was like, no, we're doing this, you know, put fist, fist 366 00:20:35,240 --> 00:20:38,240 pump, we're done. So Austin said I want to pray 367 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,760 for you. And so he said you have me put 368 00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:45,040 my fingers up. And he said, Jesus, let mommy be 369 00:20:45,040 --> 00:20:48,560 fresh in the morning, let mommy be fresh in the morning, let 370 00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:54,040 mommy be fresh in the morning. And I was like, my son is 371 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:58,320 picking up that I'm doing things for hours after they go to bed 372 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:02,880 and I am exhausted and I get up more tired. 373 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:08,080 You know what is going on. And I felt like when I had the 374 00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,800 car accident, that was the turning point for me. 375 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,080 And I remember I was in the in the bathtub when I was crying. 376 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,080 I was in a lot of pain. I was in the bath trying to, you 377 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,880 know, pregnant, trying to calm the whole muscles down. 378 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:25,000 And I really felt like I heard the Holy Spirit say, I'm sorry 379 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:30,440 it took you being incapacitated for you to realize that you have 380 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,400 limits and you cannot control everything. 381 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:38,760 And I just started crying. And so I just started say, OK, 382 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:40,680 you know what? I'm going to say no to certain 383 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,320 things. I'm going to have a cleaning 384 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,120 lady every other we, I'm going to take care of myself. 385 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,800 I, after I had ardent, I slept on the floor for a year because 386 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,880 I had sciatica and pinched nerves. 387 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,400 And I remember people would pray for me. 388 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,920 I'd get mad at him because I was like, I feel not, I feel 389 00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:01,040 pressured to be healed and in pain, you know, And then one day 390 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,920 it was just like, I like people would say, oh, I believe in God 391 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,400 that you'll be healed. And I was like, yeah, I'm in 392 00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:07,680 pain because I had a car accident. 393 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:09,640 Like stop, I had a car accident. This is valid. 394 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:12,960 And I was like, so I can't, I can't heal you because it was a 395 00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:15,640 car accident. And it was like I realized, wait 396 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:20,160 a minute, I, I deserve to be a child right now. 397 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:23,640 I deserve to go to God. I, I can, I don't have to earn 398 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:25,040 this healing. I can receive it. 399 00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:27,200 And I remember it was during a worship song. 400 00:22:27,200 --> 00:22:30,040 I just got totally healed. And I used to be if I slept on 401 00:22:30,040 --> 00:22:33,440 the wrong bed or I slept wrong or picked up a child wrong, I 402 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,400 would be have a pinched nerve and I'd be on my back. 403 00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:38,360 My boys remember that. Addison and Austin and Alec 404 00:22:38,360 --> 00:22:39,880 would would remember it. Arden wouldn't. 405 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,720 But and I've never had any problems since. 406 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,680 And it was just a turnover. And I think there's a lot of 407 00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,720 women carrying. Things are not meant to carry. 408 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,760 And because they're not meant to carry them, they make everything 409 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:54,560 in your life awkward. So that was the turning point. 410 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,440 It was the bleaching, the grout, car wreck. 411 00:22:57,680 --> 00:23:00,080 Wake up, you can't do it all thing. 412 00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:03,480 Yeah, that's amazing. I just want to pause and let you 413 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:08,240 know the enemy is scheming of ways to deceive and confuse your 414 00:23:08,240 --> 00:23:11,160 children. We see the evidence of this even 415 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,280 in children's songs, TV shows, and books. 416 00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:19,200 They are faced with deception, confusion, and bad actors at 417 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,880 every turn. But Brave Books counters this by 418 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:27,680 providing inspirational stories, games, and conversation starters 419 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:31,400 that are rooted in biblical values and truth. 420 00:23:31,680 --> 00:23:35,960 When you subscribe to the Brave Book Club, your child or 421 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:39,840 grandchild will get a new book delivered every month. 422 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:44,360 You also will have access to Brave Plus, their streaming 423 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:49,400 platform with a library of Christian parent approved shows. 424 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:56,360 Go to bravebooks.com/bevier, use the code BEVIER and get 20% off 425 00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:58,520 today. Now we're going to jump back in 426 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,920 to our conversation. It makes me think of Psalm 127 427 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:06,200 where it says eating the bread of anxious toil. 428 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:09,560 Yeah, that would have been me. That that anxious toil there's 429 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,440 there is A and Addison will say this all the time feel like I 430 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:16,720 have to give him credit. There's a sustenance to anxious 431 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:21,720 toil where you do feel like you're doing something, you're 432 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:23,720 striving. It can be motivating. 433 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:28,000 It can get you to go places or do things that other motivations 434 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,680 didn't work, but it always falls short at some point. 435 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:36,320 Whatever you start out with the motivation being the anxious 436 00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:39,800 toil that it's that I think of Jesus at the well with the 437 00:24:39,800 --> 00:24:41,200 woman. I'm like mixing all of them 438 00:24:41,600 --> 00:24:43,960 where he says like this will leave you thirsty. 439 00:24:44,360 --> 00:24:45,960 You're going to have to keep coming back. 440 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:50,120 Wouldn't you love something that keeps you satisfied? 441 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,520 So that's. An accurate An accurate 442 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:55,480 description. It made me feel necessary. 443 00:24:56,400 --> 00:24:59,120 It made me feel needed and made me feel necessary. 444 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,800 Made me feel valued. Who else is going to bleach? 445 00:25:01,800 --> 00:25:04,280 This crowd, exactly, those cleaning ladies, they miss stuff 446 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,360 all the time. There's a hair behind that door 447 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:08,520 because I was shedding, because I was pregnant so often. 448 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,880 But not anyway. Yeah, No, that was that was a 449 00:25:11,880 --> 00:25:12,520 term. It's funny. 450 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,680 I totally forgot about that until you just asked me that. 451 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:18,080 That I was, I mean, it was just ridiculous. 452 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:21,120 I exhausted myself and I thought God was like, I'm so pleased 453 00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,400 with you. I also remember when I was in 454 00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:25,400 this is, you know, some people out there, you might think this 455 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,520 is crazy, but when I was thinking in my mind, no one gets 456 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,600 this as clean as me. I remember hearing, Lisa, when 457 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:36,080 you stand before me, I'm not going to reward you because you 458 00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,200 had the cleanest grout. I'm going to ask you what you do 459 00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,560 with my entrustment on your life. 460 00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:42,600 Wow. And I thought, well, I'll just 461 00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:44,080 get up earlier. I'll just work harder. 462 00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,320 Car accident. And I'm not saying God gave me 463 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,520 the car accident, but he certainly used that. 464 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:56,480 Yeah, it's crazy. I'm just getting preached to it. 465 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,760 This is resumating because I think maybe what's hard for 466 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:05,280 especially women is like, well, what is that entrustment that 467 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:06,840 I'm called to? And then what? 468 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:10,560 It's the motions because there is so much interweaving of that 469 00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,400 like steward your children while steward your home, steward your 470 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,040 marriage, but to what extent is like you said, our limits and 471 00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,640 our control. Well, I remember, you know, I, I 472 00:26:20,640 --> 00:26:23,320 have, I think, and I think this is important for every person 473 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,560 to, to reassess in every season. So there are certain things that 474 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:31,440 only I can do for my family and then there's certain things that 475 00:26:31,440 --> 00:26:36,200 somebody else can help with. So for me, I think I tried to 476 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,920 homeschool Austin and I realized that is a huge mistake. 477 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:41,320 Somebody else needs to educate Austin. 478 00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,800 You know, so because I remember John saying, why are you doing 479 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:46,320 this? And I said because he wanted, he 480 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,240 wanted to be home with me. I had a baby right after him. 481 00:26:49,240 --> 00:26:51,720 You know, Alec was, you know, not as close as your kids, but 482 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,240 you know, and then I had Arden and he he wanted to be around 483 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,960 Arden. So I, you know, I thought, OK, 484 00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,800 but really he wanted to home school because he didn't want to 485 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,360 go to school. Basically. 486 00:27:02,360 --> 00:27:04,800 He wanted it to be easy. And John said, why are you 487 00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:07,200 taking this on? I don't feel like did God tell 488 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:09,880 you to do this? Well, no, but that had a lot of 489 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,840 mothers back then already being afraid like, oh, kids are 490 00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,160 learning this at school. And I was like, so it was it was 491 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,880 fear counseled. It wasn't Holy Spirit LED for 492 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:20,080 me. I'm not saying every person that 493 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,200 homeschools their kid is fear counseled. 494 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:26,400 I'm just saying at that given time, it was, I was not being a 495 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,800 responsible educator for Austin and it wasn't being a 496 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:31,840 responsible mother for my other kids. 497 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:36,040 And it wasn't being responsible because God had actually given 498 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:40,280 me certain things to steward my marriage, my family. 499 00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:43,760 And then I was writing. But I very much limited my 500 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:45,280 travel. I would go out Fridays and come 501 00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,480 back Saturdays and I would only do it 2 * a month. 502 00:27:48,840 --> 00:27:51,600 And John was always home back then with the boys on Friday 503 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,880 night. So he'd be with them on Friday 504 00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:56,840 and sometimes there'd be a babysitter for a couple hours 505 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,480 while he flew out. And I flew home on Saturday 506 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:02,160 because I always took my children to church on Sunday. 507 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,440 So actually, that's all if you met my my son on your husband 508 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:08,280 because I was taking them to church on Sunday. 509 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,480 And more than likely I had travelled that weekend, but they 510 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:14,600 were adults at that point. But yeah, so I think that so 511 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:19,040 many women don't understand that the right thing in the wrong 512 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,920 season is the wrong thing. And they're like, oh, I want to 513 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,680 do this. You can do it all, but you can't 514 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,200 do it all at once. And you have to say, what is my 515 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,160 season? Because there's strength when 516 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,280 you understand your season. But too many people are looking 517 00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:37,200 into the next season and missing the lessons and the strength of 518 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:39,440 that season. I mean, we thankfully have a 519 00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:43,160 farmers market here where you want to eat the fruit and the 520 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,720 vegetables that are in season because in season is where 521 00:28:45,720 --> 00:28:47,320 you're going to get the nutrients you need. 522 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:49,840 Too many people are eating things out of season. 523 00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:53,480 The partaking of things, the bread of anxiousness or whatever 524 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,760 it is, are taking things in out of season. 525 00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:59,400 They don't get strength from it. This is a great segue to our 526 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,720 good ranchers. Yes, Speaking of that, listen, 527 00:29:04,280 --> 00:29:09,160 listen, our whole family, we all love good ranchers and I don't 528 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:12,000 know if you know, but you can actually be part of the good 529 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:16,520 ranchers family as well. So I will slip that in later and 530 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,080 you can find out how you can be part of that. 531 00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,800 I have good ranchers in a crock pot right now just waiting. 532 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:27,640 We, we had a good rancher steak last night and split it in half 533 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,400 and I feel like John took more, but I'm just going to say I was, 534 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:32,680 you know, I'm not always sad about that, but I am with good 535 00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:34,720 ranchers. Oh, the days of splitting a 536 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:37,320 single steak. I I look forward to that. 537 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,640 I remember hearing a comedian talking about, we've come to 538 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,760 that place where we're hiding things in our bedroom. 539 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:45,040 And I was like, what's he talking about? 540 00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:47,120 He's like food. We've got teenagers. 541 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,240 We're hiding food in our bedroom. 542 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:53,040 I'm like, remember those days? Teenagers and the toddlers. 543 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:56,320 Yes, potato. Human is you this morning or 544 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:59,880 yesterday and Arden's like that was my food and I was like there 545 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:03,160 is no my food. Yeah, I had a my food. 546 00:30:03,880 --> 00:30:06,840 I It is always dad's food and then mom and the kids. 547 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:08,800 Food. Oh my gosh. 548 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,640 It's sweet, even. We came to your house not too 549 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,000 long ago and we walked away. And Arden said, you know, I 550 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,400 think Asher is definitely a teenager, but he's so different 551 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:21,560 than teenagers. And so I think, you know, 552 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:24,760 speaking to the mothers that do have either a preteens or teens, 553 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:27,440 you both done something incredible. 554 00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,800 Will your children love you and love the Lord? 555 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,400 And so maybe there's some bits of wisdom there. 556 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:35,120 I mean, I'm sure you have other questions you want to ask. 557 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:38,040 I just know people like how how do you survive these years? 558 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,640 How do you be a good mom and how you keep them close? 559 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,320 Because I think that's every mom's fear with the school, with 560 00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,400 the social medias. Like I don't want to lose them 561 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,800 to something else. Well, I know that I've made, and 562 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:51,840 I know you guys have made meal time a priority. 563 00:30:52,480 --> 00:30:54,520 Like for us. I mean, again, I've said it 564 00:30:54,520 --> 00:30:58,240 before and I still mean it. Having a family dinner is one of 565 00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:02,080 the most powerful things you can do or your children's connection 566 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,720 to your family and they're actually their social adjustment 567 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:09,560 to the world, like being able to have a dinner as a family, which 568 00:31:09,560 --> 00:31:13,080 is not but you think about and it is kind of a form of 569 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:15,440 communion. I mean, it's, it's conversation, 570 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:19,720 it's family, It's, it's you're realizing your needs are going 571 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:22,560 to be taken care of and then you do it as a group. 572 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:26,040 And so many people again, the moms don't let the kids help. 573 00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:29,360 I watched. I mean, we, we had Maddie's, our 574 00:31:29,360 --> 00:31:31,640 other daughter-in-law who is not yet a mom this way. 575 00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,920 She's not on, but we love her. It was her birthday. 576 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,280 And I mean, Asher got up and started washing all the dishes 577 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,040 and I came in and he was like, no, Gee, mom. 578 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:44,560 And no, this is my job. And I was like, whoa, super 579 00:31:44,560 --> 00:31:47,120 impressed. And my boys would would really 580 00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,120 get frustrated with me because I didn't just keep my messes in 581 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,400 one area. So they'd always be cleaning up 582 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:55,120 after me as I went through. Like, mom, just keep everything 583 00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:58,680 here. But it is healthy for children 584 00:31:58,680 --> 00:32:03,120 to actually be part of either preparation or cleanup when you 585 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,120 do dinner. And so just dinner is a huge 586 00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:10,040 thing for teenagers. It's very, it's very big. 587 00:32:10,080 --> 00:32:15,720 And I mean so much of Asher. I know his name. 588 00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:22,360 We're very close. So much of Asher's formation has 589 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:27,400 been his dad. I remember he turned 13 and 590 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,560 because Addison made it very ceremonial, like he was crossing 591 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:35,520 a threshold, I had the sweetest moment with the Lord where I 592 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:41,640 just cried and cried and was like, OK, my baby boy is in a 593 00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:43,680 way being given to his father and I. 594 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,440 I do not take it for granted. I do take it for granted 595 00:32:47,440 --> 00:32:50,600 sometimes. I hope to take it for granted. 596 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:51,840 Your. Woman Confessional. 597 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:58,880 That I have a husband who is so trustworthy, such an incredible 598 00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:02,000 father, and takes the formation of his son so seriously. 599 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:10,720 But I have fought him so much on school decisions, disciplinary, 600 00:33:11,560 --> 00:33:17,520 just so, so many areas where it has been this tension between us 601 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,840 unnecessarily. Addison No. 602 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:22,960 Asher, All the fighting has been necessary. 603 00:33:25,160 --> 00:33:28,360 Teenage. Fighting Addison where instead 604 00:33:28,360 --> 00:33:31,840 of like if I were to do it over. So I guess this is more of A to 605 00:33:31,840 --> 00:33:34,480 the mom of a teen or a preteen son. 606 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:38,200 If you have a trustworthy husband, trust him. 607 00:33:39,120 --> 00:33:43,160 Like just trust him. You're not going to understand 608 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:47,760 because you are not a man. And sons need their father sons. 609 00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:52,760 Need their fathers and they need their mothers to give them to 610 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:56,440 their fathers. And so there's there's a little 611 00:33:56,440 --> 00:34:01,000 bit of of backtracking even in astronauts relationship now 612 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:06,240 where it's like, OK, there's a an unnecessary friction where I 613 00:34:06,240 --> 00:34:09,159 fought his dad or felt like I needed to protect him or felt 614 00:34:09,159 --> 00:34:10,719 like his dad wasn't being hard enough. 615 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:13,120 You know, if just this constant dance. 616 00:34:14,199 --> 00:34:20,480 But Asher is incredible and so close knit with our family. 617 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:23,960 Like he would choose to be at a family dinner overhang out with 618 00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:26,199 friends any day. And some of that is his 619 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,239 introvert nature, but. He's so good with the little 620 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:31,960 kids and it reminds me of your husband, Arden. 621 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:36,880 It reminds me of Arden when you would bring Sophie and Asher and 622 00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:39,320 Lizzy over. Like I have this one photo of 623 00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,760 Arden. He's got all three of the kids 624 00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:46,080 cuddled up, Two are asleep on him and he's on, he's like on 625 00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:48,840 the sofa with these kids. And there's something about 626 00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:53,239 having teenagers anchored with toddlers, with babies. 627 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:56,719 It kind of just, it's almost like I feel like Asher and 628 00:34:56,719 --> 00:35:01,480 Sophie kept Arden. It like attached to the family 629 00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:05,000 in a way that he would not have been attached if he had just 630 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,720 been the lone young teenager running rogue with his his 631 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:10,800 friends. Friends who have had their 632 00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,800 little bonus babies like they have a teenager, they have a 633 00:35:14,800 --> 00:35:17,240 teenager and then they get pregnant with a baby that they 634 00:35:17,240 --> 00:35:21,200 have said the same thing. It anchors the older children to 635 00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:25,960 the family in a way that nothing else does. 100% I agree with 636 00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:27,760 that. What you know, and just so you 637 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:32,640 can feel comforted, I wanted John to discipline Addison, 638 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:36,880 Austin, Alec and Arden, but I wanted him to discipline him the 639 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:38,800 way I wanted him to discipline them. 640 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:41,480 So I did the same thing. I'd be like, this is what 641 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:42,520 they're doing. You've got to do. 642 00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:43,920 No, don't deal with it like that. 643 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,360 This is how I want, you know, I wanted him to be a father, but I 644 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:48,880 really was asking him to be a mother. 645 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,760 And you do need to ask the dad to be the dad. 646 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:53,960 Even with the daughters and we were talking about sons 647 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:57,360 specifically, but even with the and we, we need to realize 648 00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,560 there's the voice of the father, which would really be like God 649 00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,840 the father. And then there's even like a a 650 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:05,600 Holy Spirit voice, which would be a little bit more nurturing 651 00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:08,720 in our lives like a mother. But you cannot both of them are 652 00:36:08,720 --> 00:36:11,120 necessary. But when you, when you miss that 653 00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,360 voice of a father, I think that's what we have a whole 654 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,440 generation that doesn't understand consequence, like 655 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,640 they don't understand consequence, they don't 656 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:22,000 understand respect, they don't understand authority. 657 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:26,320 And again, we all know that those things can be misused, but 658 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:32,440 an understanding of having a father as the protector and 659 00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:35,120 provider of the household. It's not that he's the only one, 660 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,960 but it's that he's the major 1. He carries the weight of that. 661 00:36:38,280 --> 00:36:41,480 And then the mother being the nurturer and, and the, you know, 662 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,560 the responder to that. It's it's, it's gotten really 663 00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,480 flipped in our culture and it's really confusing. 664 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,400 It really is, but and that goes back to what Christian was 665 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:55,160 saying earlier about younger women needing the generation 666 00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:59,480 ahead of them to lead them in loving their husbands and loving 667 00:36:59,480 --> 00:37:02,720 their families. There is this disconnect that 668 00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:06,280 has happened where we just want to look to our peers and our 669 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:10,520 peers don't have any fruit. They're they're along the same 670 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:13,160 lines that we are. And when you're looking for 671 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,640 wisdom, you want to look to people who have fruit and so 672 00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,520 that you're seeing the effect of that. 673 00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,600 Lisa. Yeah, we're seeing the division. 674 00:37:21,720 --> 00:37:23,760 You know, it's interesting that you talk about that because we 675 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,880 all know that David labored hard to build a Kingdom, and then 676 00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:32,040 solemn Solomon established it. So David laid up the wealth cut, 677 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,440 took the land, Solomon established it. 678 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:39,080 And then Rhea Bowen refused to go to his father's counselors, 679 00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:43,520 and he counseled with his peers, with the Kingdom. 680 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:46,880 And it's so funny because like, we, you know, again, when we 681 00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,360 were young, we're like, we know more than our moms. 682 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,680 We know more than our dads. But then you find out, you know 683 00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:55,240 what you don't want to do? You don't know what you do want 684 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:57,120 to do. And we have a generation that's 685 00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:03,840 actually very, very educated on how to dismantle, deconstruct, 686 00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:08,840 destruct, but not how to build. So they're critics, they're not 687 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,320 constructors. And, and so that's this 688 00:38:11,480 --> 00:38:14,000 disconnect. And we become an echo chamber. 689 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,560 We only talk to people that think like us, look like us, you 690 00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:18,840 know, live like us. And then all of the sudden we 691 00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:23,960 find out, no, no, no, life has a lot more complexities than this. 692 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,840 And I'm not getting what I need. And it's so much bigger. 693 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:30,400 And going back to teenagers, teenagers very quickly are like, 694 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,320 the world is larger than what you've presented me with. 695 00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:39,800 And then all types of doubt can creep in unless you are, you're 696 00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,760 getting ahead of that where it's like, hey, here is a large 697 00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,480 world. Let me guide you. 698 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,960 Let me guide you through this because that's the season that 699 00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,400 we're still in. You're not a full grown adult 700 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:53,560 who's out there discovering. Wait, I never knew any of this 701 00:38:53,560 --> 00:38:55,760 existed. Yeah, No. 702 00:38:56,400 --> 00:38:58,920 OK, I have a question here. As we're talking about this 703 00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:02,880 multi generational family approach is I think one of the 704 00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:07,200 biggest inhibitors of this is this whole search for identity, 705 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:12,640 which will be equally, you know, beautiful and and selfless. 706 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:17,800 But I'm seeing, you know, moms get caught up and maybe they're 707 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,200 on the opposite side of like, well, I need to live for myself. 708 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:22,480 I need to get like, like my feet is filled. 709 00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:25,680 I'll just be transparent and hurt maybe, but my feet is 710 00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:30,160 inundated with like the mommy makeovers and like they do this 711 00:39:30,160 --> 00:39:32,560 and I go on the trips and I I just want to joke with my 712 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,040 family. There's nothing wrong with 713 00:39:34,640 --> 00:39:36,680 taking care of yourself, having friends groups. 714 00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:38,440 But sometimes there is the overtness. 715 00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:42,880 And then we were chatting around this beautiful woman in her 60s 716 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:46,360 who almost is unrecognizable because there has been so much 717 00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:49,800 the self focus. So I'm curious as someone who 718 00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:54,120 has done motherhood, who's done grandmotherhood, if that is a 719 00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:55,960 word. And it needs to be. 720 00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,320 It's not. Add it to Webster right now, you 721 00:39:59,320 --> 00:40:02,480 still have so much that you are putting your hands to toil to, 722 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,200 but then you also have your family. 723 00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:07,880 And so I'm curious with maybe the older women and the women in 724 00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:11,240 the thick of motherhood is how do we? 725 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,400 Tend well to those things without getting so caught up 726 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:17,840 where there are women in their 50s and 60s where it's like, 727 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,320 well, I have to go do this for my career and I have to go do 728 00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:21,920 this for my image. I don't have time to spend my 729 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:23,640 grandchildren. And then we have mothers that 730 00:40:23,640 --> 00:40:25,080 are like, I have no one to help me. 731 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,360 I don't know what to do. It's just goes like this. 732 00:40:27,720 --> 00:40:31,520 There's this cycle of how do we find that balance? 733 00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:33,320 Yeah. How does a mother cry out for 734 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,280 help? How does you know an older woman 735 00:40:35,280 --> 00:40:40,000 that still has her own life and has laid down for so many years 736 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,840 help in other ways? Like I think a lot of families 737 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:47,240 are confused on but that looks like and and frankly, well, who 738 00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:49,200 takes the short end of the stick? 739 00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,160 It can feel like for some. Yeah, well. 740 00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:53,840 Not me to, you say. No, no, no, no. 741 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:59,440 But if you want. No, and I, I think that I feel 742 00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:02,400 like we're making up this answer to your question with our lives 743 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:04,600 right now. Like I did not. 744 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:07,760 There were things I could come to my mom for and there was 745 00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:11,440 things I was like you, you, you because of brokenness. 746 00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:13,760 And your mother can't even be an aunt. 747 00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:15,400 That can't, that can't be answered. 748 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:18,880 So I think one generation finally has to say, I'm willing 749 00:41:18,880 --> 00:41:22,240 to be what I didn't have. I'm willing to give what wasn't 750 00:41:22,240 --> 00:41:25,440 given to me. I'm willing to create some 751 00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,080 pathways when when all I met was obstacles. 752 00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:31,560 I think one generation has to do that, but I also think your 753 00:41:31,560 --> 00:41:35,840 generation also has to say, I'm going to honor that. 754 00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:37,840 Even if I want to do it different, I'm still going to 755 00:41:37,840 --> 00:41:40,440 honor the things that you've been through. 756 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,000 And I want to learn from it. And I want to do it like, for 757 00:41:43,000 --> 00:41:47,440 me, I would rather go on vacation with my family than 758 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:49,720 than anybody, even with all the complexities. 759 00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:53,680 Like, you know, I think we're all in Florida together next 760 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:55,360 month. And John was like, you're going 761 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,240 to love it, aren't you? Because you love the chaos. 762 00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:59,720 I said, I do love the chaos, you know? 763 00:41:59,720 --> 00:42:02,320 And but he's learned to remember how John used to be. 764 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:03,920 Like, they're touching the walls. 765 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,160 They're touching the walls. I'd be like, put yourself in 766 00:42:06,160 --> 00:42:07,520 your room. If you're going to act like 767 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,720 this, you're stressed. I can handle, handle the stress 768 00:42:09,720 --> 00:42:12,720 of, of grandchildren. I cannot handle your stress of 769 00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:14,920 the grandchildren. And I, I think that we're all 770 00:42:14,920 --> 00:42:21,400 committed to growing and hearing and understanding that like, as 771 00:42:21,400 --> 00:42:23,640 we know better, we do better. And that's I think the only 772 00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:25,760 thing. But I, I do think that there's 773 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,760 been a disconnect and, and a lie. 774 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:31,240 I mean, I know that that was my whole thing with the godmothers 775 00:42:31,240 --> 00:42:34,520 book was there's older women thinking that the younger women 776 00:42:34,840 --> 00:42:40,200 don't want any of their valuable lessons or treasures or despise 777 00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,840 them because they're older. And then there's the younger 778 00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:47,040 women thinking that the older women are all retired playing 779 00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,240 golf. So there's they're not, they're 780 00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:51,480 not connecting. And yet we know that's actually 781 00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,720 incredibly crucial. Like, first of all, we know it 782 00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:57,800 scripturally, but Barna just did this big study that the only way 783 00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:00,280 to bring healing to the millennials and the Gen. 784 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:04,320 ZS is if the older women begin to help the younger women, 785 00:43:04,320 --> 00:43:07,480 because the younger women right now are disenfranchised more 786 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:09,800 than the young men when it comes to spiritual things. 787 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:14,160 So there's thing this breakdown of mothering where you're 788 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:18,640 talking about that they want to be sex symbols or or whatever it 789 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:22,240 is or go actualize themselves. And I won't be a mother anymore. 790 00:43:22,240 --> 00:43:25,600 I'm going to go do whatever. You know, they're going to have 791 00:43:25,600 --> 00:43:27,840 to deal with the end of their life. 792 00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,840 All these people they're playing for aren't going to be a 793 00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:34,560 bedside. It's it's who you your family, 794 00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,880 it's who you invest in. But that's kind of a morbid 795 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,840 thought. But you know, we have some 796 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,560 friends going through some really hard stuff right now. 797 00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:44,680 And it does punctuate your life. Like you want to have a 798 00:43:44,680 --> 00:43:47,480 connection with your family. And there's certain portions of 799 00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:48,640 my family. I'm very connected. 800 00:43:48,640 --> 00:43:49,960 And then there's. Parts of it that are very. 801 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:53,480 Fragmented and I I know that that's your story as well, Julie 802 00:43:53,480 --> 00:43:56,360 and there's just this there's that brokenness where you want 803 00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:59,360 but sometimes how can two walk together unless they're in 804 00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,440 agreement like there's certain things you you have to let some 805 00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:05,640 people go their own way. But if somebody says I want to 806 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,680 walk with you, we have a virtue of fierce unity. 807 00:44:08,680 --> 00:44:12,600 We fight for unity and that is something that our family is 808 00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,720 committed to. But man, I mean I feel like we 809 00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:16,600 just barely I've got a list of questions. 810 00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,040 I feel like we just barely touched on those. 811 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:23,920 And so I'm so excited that we have an entire second decision 812 00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:27,440 to talk about these things. And you guys, thank you so much 813 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:30,360 for joining me today on the least of your podcast. 814 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,680 And I hope that you've actually, wow, learn from our crazy 815 00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,600 stressful things. At least mine. 816 00:44:37,280 --> 00:44:39,840 Do not, do not do a toothbrush for your floor. 817 00:44:39,880 --> 00:44:43,720 That's just never efficient. But I, I do hear hope you hear 818 00:44:43,720 --> 00:44:47,160 our heart that we want you to have permission to rest. 819 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:51,080 We want you to have permission to edit your life so that you 820 00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:54,520 can not just survive your husband and children, but you 821 00:44:54,520 --> 00:44:57,960 can enjoy them so that you can flourish in your marriage, that 822 00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:01,400 you can understand the season that you're in and that you stop 823 00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:05,040 beating yourself up or any mistakes that you've made in 824 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:08,480 your past. So I hope something spoke to 825 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,840 you. I, I really want you to 826 00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:14,440 subscribe so that you don't miss any of this kind of 827 00:45:14,440 --> 00:45:16,440 encouragement. And so until next time, this has 828 00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:18,680 been the Least of of Year podcast.