Who you marry is one of the most important predictors of your
whole life, for you were praying for my son long before he became
your husband. If we can pray for our future
children, why can't we pray for our future husband?
Oh that's just idol. That's like name it and claim
it. No, I think it is partnering in
faith. I am hearing so much that men
are reaching their 30s and have never asked a woman out.
And then just pull the Band-Aid off.
Like you will get rejected by some women but that doesn't
determine your worth. I had to pray.
I said, God, I have terrible taste in men.
I need to surrender what I think my ideal man is for who you know
I need. I wonder, was that one of your
prayers? Yeah.
Welcome to the Lisa Bevier podcast and you guys.
Everywhere I go, I'm meeting young women and not so young
women that are saying where are the men?
They're like, I want to be a wife, I want to be a mother.
And we just cannot seem to find men who feel the same way.
Now, we're going to be talking as women, but that doesn't mean
this is exclusively for women. If you're out there and you've
got a single brother, he's going to want to watch this.
If you are a mom and you wish your son would get married, he's
going to want to watch this. Because we're going to be
talking about some key elements that speak to the problem where
why can't these beautiful young godly women meet beautiful young
godly men? So I am so excited about today's
podcast. I am hosting my beautiful
daughter-in-law, Christian Bevier, and she has written a
powerful prayer journal and book around this purpose that maybe
all of you need to be praying for somebody you haven't met
yet. Christian, welcome to the Least
Bevier podcast. Thank you so much.
It's fun to be wearing a different hat in my guest seat.
You. Get to be the guest.
Yes, well, Kristen, I know this has been a labor for you for a
long time. This has been something you've
poured heart and soul into. And I, I'm so excited to be able
to highlight this today. You have the Dear Future Husband
podcast and you are already speaking to so many women who
are saying, what about me? I did not expect to still be
looking, waiting. Why am I not seen?
And so many women have turned to you.
And I know you've been such a source of encouragement, but I
know that you and I have a little bit of a different story
because you were praying for my son long before he became your
husband. And can you share why that
wasn't just enough for you to be like, OK, great, yay, I got my
husband's, our girls. Hope, hope it works out for you.
Why are you marking a trail for the the other women?
Yeah, well, First off, I saw how astronomically different Arden
was from even where I was starting to believe my husband
would be an act. It was, you know, when I first
started dating, I thought, Oh my goodness.
Handsome, godly, all the things. Yes, that's what he's going to
be. And you do get discouraged when
either you're looking and you're not seeing that caliber of men
in your community or you're dating and you're getting your
heart broken even by men in the church.
That's a sad reality a lot of women say nowadays.
I'm sure you've heard that, too. Where you go?
Yeah. And so I felt my idea of what
kind of relationship I specifically could enter into or
what kind of caliber men were out there was dwindling.
And the temptation to settle or compare or complain was really
rising to the point of I graduated college, go back home
to the same job I was doing before college, which felt like
or that was a lot of wasted money.
I think a lot of people are coming to that conclusion.
Yeah, my parents feel that way about more.
They, they're in Jesus. They're they're with Jesus now.
But it was definitely a waste for me as well.
Well, I just came to this place of man.
My friends are getting the dream jobs, they're getting the dream
guys, they're getting married. And here I am at home with Ben
and Jerry's on a Friday night. Like, what am I doing wrong?
And you know, that's kind of A2 fold question because I do think
that the Lord always wants to sharpen us, whether you're
single or married, sharpen us to grow into better versions of his
character and to be better wives to our husband, not just to get
the man like. Be better humans.
Seriously, and we all need that grace daily.
And I found myself in this place of God going, Lord, what if I
started to believe that's contrary to the promise you gave
me. What's even contrary to what's
possible in your heart for marriage?
And he did a deep work in me of let's refine that.
Let's even address why you are looking for a spouse, the kind
of spouse you're looking for, what you believe about marriage.
And it was incredibly refining, humbling and also nurturing to
me in that time. And so I just watched as the
Lord highlighted things I had believed for when I was a little
girl and saying I can still do that.
That's still possible. I still make men that are made
in my image. And boy was art.
And so, I mean, I thank you for raising him to be an incredible
man. And I just shared a little bit,
I think early on, and this is before, you know, I probably had
like 500 people on Instagram. We moved to Nashville and these
girls I'd never met, these girls that are beautiful, thriving and
great communities serving in the church, they come up to me and
they're like, I started doing like your husband's Bible is
what I called it because I mean, it wasn't a thing when I was
doing it back then. And like I started doing that
like I'm believing and I was like, who are you?
And how did you find like that one random video I shared?
And so I just saw it really tapped into this connection
point between women of like, how do you wait in faith, believe
with expectation, you know, not grow weary, but also not become
obsessed. And it's like really this fine
tension point of multiple things underlying within singleness
within dating that I found. Wow.
We really just need want a space to talk about this not in
worldly form because, you know, there is so much like be a boss
babe who cares or like, put yourself out there too much.
And so I just wanted a safe place for women to have
conversations and then also pour in hope because I think I
accidentally stumbled into something that's a beautiful
version of faith. Not because I had a lot or I
always did dating well, but I'm thinking, wow, this is such a
gift that I got to walk into. Why would I not share with other
women? And the truth is you're not
saying if you buy this book and you pray these prayers and you,
you like deep dive into the word of God, your man is going to
magically appear. What you're actually saying is
don't post in your life. There's like this transformative
journey for you and, and you know, and the truth is we all
want, we all want to be loved, to be seen, to be nurtured in
our God-given talents. And there's a lot of people that
are married that are not finding that in their marriage and
they're finding that where you actually get that is in your
intimate relationship with Jesus Christ and the with the word of
God. So I love that.
And so all these women coming up to you and you're like, wait,
wait, I didn't know what I started.
And so you did the podcast and then you actually, and this is
probably very vulnerable for you, you actually took some of
your strategy, your prayers, your longing because tell the
story of what you gave Arden on your wedding day.
Yes, easily my fondest memory of our wedding day.
One, because there's just so much to plan that no one tells
you about that you do feel a little bridezilla.
But I gave Arden this again when I called my husband's Bible, and
it was full of prayers and letters and things I had wrote
and prayed over him for months before I'd even met him.
And it was like this treasure box for me of like, hey, this is
what I poured my heart into. This is where my belief was.
Even when I thought, how on earth could I meet a good guy in
small town Alabama? I had this hope that you were
coming. And he didn't know about it.
I didn't tell him about this beforehand.
And so Alex sends him on the scavenger hunt the day of.
And, you know, he'd go get some coffee and all this stuff.
And then it ends with him opening this book and just
reading the letters. And you know, I had thought, and
you probably could relate to this too, in the times of when I
had mismanaged my own heart and others heart and dating, I
thought, wow, this is what I'm going to give to my husband on
our wedding day like this broken hearted girl.
And this is such a sweet redemption moment because I
thought, yes, that is a reality. And I'm not going to pretend
I've been perfect. But I also get to give this gift
of look what can happen when you pray and you are intentional,
whether it's been one month or 10 years, right?
And so I just got this brown book off of Amazon and I thought
brown leather, yes, that's a dude's Bible and started praying
into it. So the Dear Future Husband
Prairie Journal is my way of OK, let's let's create the rhythm
that I created and I found as I was going through this and let
it just be a launching pad as they write letters and prayers
to their future husband. That's beautiful.
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delivered, you know, And I think it's so key is you were not you
hadn't, like you said, you hadn't met Arden.
So you were not claiming a particular person.
You were not praying for a skin. There were.
Some claim it. With Arden, there were.
Some I'm sure, I'm sure. No.
Did I tell you the engagement link?
Yes. That she had an entire
engagement link and hey, this is this is the countdown and and to
be honest. I was like, are you engaged?
And you didn't tell me Like what is this?
What is happening? I'm not falling for you, but.
That is just showing this, I mean, sweet, hopeful, but
misplaced. And so I feel like you said, OK,
I'm not mocking that. I understand that longing to be
loved, to be connected to, to dream.
But I'm going to put, I'm going to put it, I'm going to reframe
it in, in God's mindset and strategy behind it.
And so I I love that you said, OK, let's let's pray for that,
that person, but not that specific.
Yeah. Yeah, and I think that's key
because I think a lot of my early dating, that longing was
still very much there, but it was put into the first date or
the chi like, will you feel this?
Will you show me? Will you romance me?
Will you see me and value me? And this really kind of changed
the the pot, if you will. I started putting those into my
prayers. And then when I met Arden, I was
less, tell me you love me and you know, all the things I was
like, hold on, are you the real deal?
Like, can I trust you? And I think, you know, the idea
is that you have to put up this wall of like, well, I'm content
and I'm single until the Lord brings me my husband.
I think if we try to mask that desire, we're just going to put
it in a different position. And what I'm encouraging women
is don't pretend that desire is not there.
Bring it to God so he can either redirect the timing,
restrengthen things in your heart is your why and your
motives. But then also you're saying,
Lord, like, will you partner with me in this rather than
trying my own strength? Then let me just tell you that
was tenfold more successful when I did it that way rather than
the other way. Not even just because I got
married, but because, you know, I stopped settling.
I stopped looking constantly like when I entered a room.
Who's going to notice me? And so I just think it's a
better posture for our heart to say, Lord, will you direct me in
this rather than feeling hopeless or feeling like I have
to make it happen? What is what is the one of the
key things that when you actually assumed a very
different posture that that first of all surprised you that
God did in your heart. What is what is one of those
things and and how did that work its way out?
You already said how you had a different posture when you met
Arden, that you weren't like, oh, pick me, but you were like,
Hey, I, I don't want to mess. And you know, you wouldn't have
known, but Arden was already in this.
He had a conversation with me and I remember he just said,
mom, I really feel like the next state stage of my personal
growth is going to include marriage.
And you know, I don't even, it wasn't like he thought, oh, I'm
going to dominate someone and be the boss of somebody else's
work. He really knew that there were
certain things in his life that need to be worked out by loving
someone, providing for some bed and being loved by someone.
So was there something that surprised you that you found
that God put His finger on in your life while you were praying
for whoever that future husband was?
Yeah, I, I feel like even the ability to hope was transformed.
It was so much of like hoping I can be pretty enough to like win
the right guy or I can be articulate enough.
You know, it was so much of how can I show up, which I think was
rooted in a lot of performance for me, for my, you know,
background and tendencies. And so it it kind of showed me I
needed to release control. And the more I did that, the
more the Lord would show me just like different puzzle pieces.
I really believe Jeremiah 33 three can relate to dating as
well. Like I will show you hidden
things because I, I mean, I started praying for my husband
and he aligned times where I needed to really intercede on
his behalf. And when Arden and I were
engaged, he would tell me stories of things he had gone
through. And I was like, wait, what day
was that? Go back in the husband's Bible
And it was the exact month, like even to the week of like praying
for him intensely. And then he gave me a dream of
what Arden would look like to the point where I went to sleep
one night and I have this dream where I'm walking out onto like
this patio and it's like this mountainous area, which, you
know, we, we lived in Colorado. So I didn't know that at the
time, but that was a confirmation.
And then I see you're. From lower Alabama, so you were
not used to mountains. There's no hills or anything.
I was like, huh, where, where are we going?
And I walk out and I see these people clapping.
I can still remember like it was yesterday.
And I'm like, OK, what's going on?
And I look down and I'm holding hands with someone, and I look
up and it's this statuesque leader of a man with, like,
curly, WAVY hair and glasses. And he said, it's our engagement
party. And I woke up like, OK, that man
is someone I've never met. I like what I see.
And I'm not going to use that as a confirmation to give me the
next step. But that is going to be like
something I'm going to tuck away.
And what's really sweet is I very much thought I was a
hopeless romantic before I met Arden.
Like always, you know how it is when you're looking for someone,
You're like, go to church and oh, there's a cute guy.
Like, could that be the one? Like, you're constantly on high
alert. And that being such an intimate
and vivid piece, I actually forgot about until our second
date when he put his glasses on, which normally I would be like,
can you give me any confirmation?
Like I am looking for something to go forth.
And so that to me was I thought I had the Lord on because it was
so vivid, but then it also was protected.
It wasn't like I'm going to use this from God and exchange it,
but almost like he gave me a glimpse of something, but then
protected it so that his prompting would still leave me.
And I think that's the gentlemanness of God in in
dating and in those even not dating those times of like,
Lord, will you show me the right job?
Will you show me the place? You know, Lisa, I think one of
the verses that women look up to a lot when they're trying to
become a great quality woman and a great wife one day is Proverbs
31 of like, how do I how do I carry myself?
Like, what do I do? But what I actually get when I
was researching this book is Proverbs 31 is not just how a
woman should act. It's a mother's directive to her
future. You know, the women after her of
Hey, you can pray. She says child of my womb, like
answer to my prayers. And so her first instruction is
pray for the people you love, pray for the men in your life.
And so I see this woman praying for this child that will come.
We see that with Hannah. We see that throughout the
Bible. And so if we can pray for our
future children, why can't we pray for our future husband?
So many people are like, oh, that's just idol.
That's like name it and claim it.
No, I think it is partnering in faith with a strong desire.
And we see that time and time again that the Lord answers
prayer. He hears our prayers.
And even in Hannah's case, he remembers prayers that have been
decades longer than we thought the answer would come.
And so I love when women lean in with prayer for those desires.
I love that. And, you know, he actually tells
us to pray. Without.
Ceasing Jesus says ask, ask that my Father might be glorified.
And there's been so many times where if I don't ask, I don't
actually recognize the answer. But if I have asked, then when I
see the answer, I recognize the answer.
And I, I feel like you're saying you're asking women to and, and
I would even say guys, but specifically right now to frame
things so that when you see it, you'll know it.
Right. And then just on the other side
of that, if I can play devil's advocate, James says you have
not because you ask. That's right.
You may ask one time, but the Bible says, like you said, to
pray without ceasing. So have you stopped asking God
to bring your future spouse? You know, I had to and again,
like I've been married 43 years now, so I have I'm having to
pull deep into my memory banks. I had to pray.
I said, God, I have terrible taste in men and I need to
surrender what I think my ideal man is for who you know, I need
like you know, what is best for me to grow in godliness, to grow
in love, to grow in kindness, whatever the whatever the lack
of area is. And I, I wonder, was that one of
your prayers? Yeah, I thought.
And I think this ties back to what I was looking for was
trying to validate something within me, like I need to be
with a creative. So then I have permission to be
a creative. I need to be with, you know, the
how they paint the guys in movies nowadays of like the soft
listener because like, I just wanted someone to see me and
value me. And Arden is a great listener,
but he's like stoic and he's determined.
And you know, he's a lot more like my dad than I ever
anticipated. A little bit like your dad.
High school photos of them side by side, It's.
It was. Surprising, yes.
So that was something even, you know, everyone hears you'll date
your dad and I was like, no, I won't like I'm going to be a
trendsetter, my own thing. And yeah, I think to me, the
Lord is so kind to partners with someone that strengthens US,
amplifies, you know, qualities within us.
Because I heard in church, just find someone that's cute and
loves Jesus. And if that were true, you could
just eenie meenie my eenie meenie minie MO in church.
So you find you. Do you don't believe that?
I don't, because I do hear that a lot.
Just find someone and marry them.
Yeah. So I do.
I do think that the truth is somewhere in between, I think
you've got people that are like, there's the one, the one and
they forget sometimes that that person grows into being the one.
And then there is the other thing of just the, there's a
girl, just grab her, marry her, you know.
So I, I don't, I think that I think there's dangers on both of
those extremes. But I think right now we've the
church would make it. All spiritual, just grab
somebody and then the world makes it all experiential, you
know, sleep with the person, you know, date or whatever that is.
Try them out before you buy it. All that kind of stuff.
It's so it's so demeaning to both people involved.
And so I love this idea that you're inviting God back into
the center of a relationship. And I do think and I, I think
you know you, you're hearing this more and more.
That is one who you marry is one of the most important predictors
of your whole life forward. And so I don't think we can be
casual with it and just pick anybody.
I do think though, once we have committed, we are committed and
then we make sure we have a standard that we're building,
You know, we're building our lives on.
There's a foundational thing. But I do think too many people
are looking for the romanticized, soft spoken baby
boy. Just listen to me.
Just that's my. Heart because of what culture is
pushing of like the toxic masculinity.
But I yeah the you're so right I saying those two things and I do
think that requires I need the Lord's prompting one because not
every relationship is going to follow the same formula.
Maybe you're friends for for years or you meet and you fall
in love instantly and you know the same is true of like the
type of person you're looking for the confirmation of how you
know though the one. But I do think though the one
side of just pick someone is dangerous because I love all my
brother in laws. I'm sure you love all your your
daughter in But if we just played swap, I think that would
be catastrophic because there's unique instruments to each of us
that creates that partnership that is long lasting, that is
sustainable. But then, yeah, on the other
side, I, I think sometimes we use the one or red flags as a
way of self protection because maybe making that choice is
scary. Or like you said, you've picked
the wrong one in the past and you're scared to make that
mistake again. So it's like, well, you know,
he's not the one because this or that.
So it is somewhere in between. And I believe, you know, as much
as I love good dating advice and strong testimonies, only the
Lord can confirm that for someone.
But you have to be open to his voice.
You have to be open to growth. And yeah, willing to say, OK,
maybe I'm going to meet him somewhere I thought in a
different timeline than I thought, or I have to do some
more work than I thought. But it's worth it to have, you
know, that solid confirmation so you don't question your decision
on the hard days or the hard seasons because every even good
marriages go through that. Absolutely.
And I want it just just to reiterate to somebody that's
sitting out there who has done all this, who has prayed, who
has been godly, who's done the deep dive and God, if there's
any displeasing, thank God, you know, I want to say to that
person out there, it isn't that you didn't do enough.
And that's why you're not meeting that person.
It's not God saying, Oh no, I'm sorry, you, you still need to
because I'm just going to say I was a hot mess when I married
John. I didn't know I was, I thought,
Hey, I'm I'm probably halfway there.
I was not. I was, I was maybe one 1/5 of
the way to where the person I needed to be to be a loving wife
and to grow. And, and we are not saying that
the be all end all is to be married, but this is the topic
we are talking about. So if if you're out there and
you're like, I, you know, no, this is what we're talking
about. And and we want to actually
equip you to make healthy decisions.
Do you have a couple red flags that you're like these two or
this one is a red flag and it's a non negotiable?
I mean, the first one that comes to me is if you are leading them
spiritually as a woman, you know, there's a lot of debate
of, you know, date to convert and all these things.
And you know, there are always going to be the incredible love
stories of any kind of outlier that there is.
But as a woman looking out for other women, I think if you were
having to pull him along or he's like, well, I love your
boundaries. I'll respect that because you
have them or I love your faith. I'll I'll be open to church.
That's not a sustainable model for male leadership in a
marriage. And so I think if there is a
mantle there, he should step up to that before you commit your
life to him. Granted, there will be, you
know, the people in the Commons like, you know, I have an altar
story to that and that's phenomenal.
I love when the Lord works in unexplained ways.
But as like a blanket statement for women is I would want to
say, hey, hey, challenge him. What kind of leader does he want
to be? Does he know that?
Does he have his own boundaries and standards?
And so that's like my red flag for for any woman listening,
especially, you know, someone that's entering a new
relationship. Don't be afraid to ask those
questions early on. It doesn't have to be an FBI
interrogation. It's a.
Sore subject. It doesn't have to be an
interrogation, but you also don't want to get your heart
committed before you actually know what you're committing to.
Yeah, OK then. All right, So what about meeting
people online? Well, your son and I met online,
but the way he did it is so different than typical online
interactions. OK.
So talk about the way he did it versus a red red flag way.
Yeah. Yeah.
So how did Arden do that? He sent me a message when she
was trying to be sweet and generic and he's like, oh, the
sunset looks beautiful there. It's snowing here.
It wasn't actually snowing. So he was kind of lying.
We'll get onto the him for that, but in.
Colorado. It could have.
It could have shifted. Like the next day.
In the mountains it was snowing, that's true.
That was valid. That's true.
We'll go with that. And he just struck up a short
conversation and they said, hey, I would love to get your number,
give you a call sometime. And so he didn't have this delay
long chat where it felt like, you know, a potential match
could get watered down and you miss it or I'm prolonging
something and just getting emotionally involved because of
constant texting. He said, I'm going to call you.
And on the call he said, I'm coming to Florida soon.
I'd love to take you on a date. And he was very gentleman and
old school and a new school approach and he was always super
clear with me. That is the one thing that
sticks out in our dating is I never really had to worry or
question my worth or where I stood with him.
He's like I, I give. An example like when you say
super clear. Well, when he told me he wanted
to take me on a date, he he said those words not we should hang
out sometime or let's go have coffee.
He said I want to take you on a date.
So I knew OK, there is intention behind this.
And did you know he was paying for everything?
I assumed he would because I have an old school dad.
Yeah, he showed up like with doughnuts and he took me to
lunch. He was very thoughtful with our
dating time. But even in our follow up
conversations, like he continued to say, hey, I'm interested.
I'd like to have our next date this time.
I think a lot of people maybe they have that good first date
and then they're just left on red or they're left questioning.
OK, chat is kind of dwindling now.
Are we just in friend zone or are we somewhere in between,
which I think those shouldn't exist.
There should be no situation ship.
There should be no talking. There should be no texting.
It is either I'm getting to know you and I'm moving forward or
not because women's hearts shouldn't be hung out to dry.
They should be stewarded and nurtured well.
And it's OK if if it doesn't lead to something.
But be clear, even when he wasn't dating me and he would go
on dates with other women, he would follow up and say, hey, I
really enjoyed our time. You're a great person.
I don't see a romantic interest there.
And some people would say, oh, that's so mean.
He's like cutting them off. No, I think that's incredibly
kind in a good sort of other women's hearts, which gave me
confidence as his wife of if he can do that well and have hard
conversations, I can trust him with his word.
OK, so. So good job, you know, that's
why. I am hearing so much that men
are reaching their 30s and have never asked a woman out.
So what do you do with that Christian?
Because we've got these amazing young women.
We're telling them to be godly. We're telling them to to work on
themselves. And they're either sitting at
home and they're waiting for someone to to actually take some
initiative. What?
What do you say when the guys aren't asking the girls out?
We were just talking right before we started recording
where this beautiful young man said, I couldn't even recommend
my brother to this girl I care about.
I think he said these guys, they're just not.
They're just not who I could recommend.
That's that's, that's scary. So what?
What do you say to the girls who are waiting and and the guys
aren't doing anything? Yeah, that's a hard place to be
because as women we want to nurture and we want to fix.
So it's tempting to think, well, maybe if I just like pull him
out of the awkwardness and he'll do the rest.
But there is no guarantee if you have to string him along.
Often we see women getting caught in this web of I
constantly have to initiate or lead or pull him to the position
that I want him to be in. And that's not, it's really not
a great scenario for either party involved.
But men are very scared just to interact with women.
I hear that all the time from men watching our channel, trying
to get like an inside view of the women's heart, which I love
and encourage men, please watch these episodes.
But many have told me that they are scared, especially post
COVID, that like social interaction has just dwindled so
much where they don't feel, you know, intriguing or charismatic.
They don't even know how to strike up a conversation.
So I would say friends with friends, you know, same gender
or not even mentors and peers. Let's just start having in
person conversations again. Let's have community nights.
So we're building confidence of wow, this is who I am.
This is what I'm passionate about.
I know how to interact with people, but then also men just
pull the Band-Aid off. Like you will get rejected by
some women but that doesn't determine your worth.
It doesn't have to be an all or nothing.
I think a lot of dating today, modern dating has really
heightened the getting to know you stage and then muddy the
word dating stage. So it's you fall hard, your head
over heels, you move in together, then you date for
three years. Maybe you get married, maybe you
don't. And all the research shows that
that is catastrophic to long term relationship living
together, living together, yes and then even emotionally giving
your heart to someone before you're ready because you don't
know what you're getting into. There's a lot of resentment that
follows that for women specifically.
And so the the call to action for 2026 dating I'm encouraging
our viewers is hey, let's have intention men ask women out.
Let's have slow getting to know each other and then quick
commitment, like we don't need to to linger in the in between
there. But we did a fun little
interview last weekend with some of our future husband interns
and we hit the streets of Nashville, which granted, Lisa,
I was like, I don't know what all kind of views we're going to
get here, but we're going to try.
And I was even shocked, like if someone telling other women
there's good men out there. I was shocked by the amount of
men that said, like I went to Buck Mason and you know, like
well dressed men. You know, maybe some will give
good answers. There were men there that were
godly that like we're rooted in the word.
We were asked them something about leadership and they would
just spew your heart out. And so I'm thinking, how many
men are out there? So you're saying women should go
to Buck Mason? They.
Should go to Buck Mason. I think the other place is Home
Depot and Lowe's, except usually they're married.
If they're there, they may. Be but maybe they know someone,
But then that's another good point is, you know, if you're a
man and you see other men that are not taking those steps, like
can you walk them through that? You you say this all the time,
like mentorship is just dwindled.
So much of like the older women teaching the younger women, and
I say the same even for close peers, really camped out of,
well, this is the single group and this is the married.
And we don't understand each other, but there's a lot we can
learn from each other. I mean, my single friends teach
me so much about being determined, hard working,
fruitful for what you've been given.
And I think there's sides of marriage even later of, you
know, kids, no kids. I think we need to stop dividing
and start connecting. OK.
So can I just go back a little bit?
So what were some of the questions you were asking?
This is always a fan favorite because it's so not my nature.
You know, this I'm a little bit more like, tell me about you and
intellectually introverted. And so when I look back, I think
it's funny. I think that was a lot of, you
know, just longing to not mess up again.
And some of the questions I asked Arden is, you know, what
are your passions? What is your your plan for for
your life or your career? For ministry?
And this was that black Mason as well.
Oh, no, this is in Florida. Oh, in Florida.
Oh, the questions I asked Buck Mason.
Sorry, I was doing the question the Buck.
Arden on On the Street, Man on the Street.
Buck Mason, Downtown Nashville. What are your intentions?
12 S Yeah. I was like, wow, you went deep.
You got Buck Mason. Sorry, no, those are the
questions I asked Arden, which is a a popular question people
asked. But Buck Mason, we went up to
guys and my hope was to inspire these men that hey, maybe
there's a way of dating that you haven't thought about.
Maybe your future wife is praying for you when you just
feel like. All of these guys were single.
Yeah, they were so 12 S Doug Mason, if you want to shout out,
if you want to go find someone, but we were asking them, hey, if
you knew your future wife is praying for you, what does that
mean to you right now? How are you transforming to be a
husband today while you were still single?
We asked women on the street too, what are you looking for in
a man and how are you praying for them?
And granted, we took us some answers where we're like, what
are you looking for in a woman? He's like, hot.
I'm like, well, you know what? Maybe if we tell them your
future husband may be praying for you, it'll change their
approach to dating. That's really what I'm hoping.
It's just planting seeds of how can we really put our faith in
dating rather than trying to date and then add faith to it
later. You know, I watched a
fascinating while I'm taking this course, but they were
saying what men do look for in women is is youth and beauty.
And what women look for is they actually want to marry someone
older and a good provider and protector.
And so that's even genetically woven into us.
So it is very, very interesting. That sounds like the hot would
probably be the combination of young and beautiful.
But what's interesting is were you talking to to young women
and young men when when you first interacted with them as
soon as you said, what would you, what would you hope this
future wife of yours will be praying for you right now?
What what was some of your favorite answers that came from
that? Almost all of them, even the
ones that I presume weren't fully interacted in faith, we're
saying they hope their wife would be praying that they could
be the man they're called to be. Wow.
I think men are so aware that there is a call of leadership on
their lives, but they're not quite sure always how to
interact with it or if they are, they're just aware of, you know,
I always want to be striving for this.
I never want to think I've made it as a man.
A lot of them were saying, Hey, I have scheduled Thursdays is
when I pray for my future wife and I know so it's I'm I was
just blown by this day because I was like, it's one thing to say
it, but then to see it in person is that's very I mean, it
afflicted me. So I'm hoping this and you
record. This and they're going to be
able to watch this on your podcast.
Yes, yes. And we did get some tags if
someone's like that guy was giving great answers and kind of
cute, we will tag some of them if you want to reach out.
Yeah, Some of the other answers were that I can lead her
spiritually, that I can be a good provider.
And then some others were saying, you know, that I can
navigate my career well because they do want to be providers.
They do want to be reliable. And that doesn't mean that women
are insufficient or, you know, uncreative, whatever the word
is. But there's just this, you know,
how we want to nurture the heart.
I think they want to nurture the environment and the safety of
women. And that's such a beautiful
thing that we shouldn't chalk up to toxic masculinity, but we
should see as a gift that we get to be prized in that way.
I do feel like the the progressive feminism has
undermined all the incredible beauty that what you're just
talking about that that weaving of the, the woman being the
guardian of the husband's heart and the husband being the
guardian of the household and the strength and the protection
and provision. It does not mean that women
can't be providers and it doesn't mean that men can't be
nurturing of their wives heart. It just means that there is some
core things that are stewardship in a relationship that women do
almost innately and that men do almost innately.
And we've been like, no, don't be an innate male, be a female.
And the females, no, no, don't trust the man.
You be the man. And it's, I feel like it's
undermined so much of the beauty and the rhythm of creation that
God actually ordained from the very beginning.
And so it's it's incredibly tragic that that's happening.
Tell me your greatest hope for this message, Christian, for
both the book and the prayer journal.
Tell me, you know, if you're saying this is my greatest hope,
if this is the only thing, because I, I know of course you
want to see people have beautiful, vibrant marriages,
but what is your greatest hope? My hope would be that women
specifically can lend this desire fully to the Lord no
matter what their dating criteria looks like, no matter
what their dating pool looks like, no matter how long it's
been. Though that's hard because I
think it is so much more worthwhile for our hearts and
for that potential marriage that is out there.
If we say I'm committed to this path that the Lord has created
for me because there is such a spiritual attack against family
and marriage that in my mind on the other side, which I know so
many people are saying it easy for you to say you're married.
But I've seen how if you don't partner with the right person,
if you don't have the right foundation for your marriage, if
you don't have the right perspective of love, how it
hurts your own heart so much. And it's not something that we
just pick up and lay down. It's a lifelong commitment.
And so whether that looks like simply just not settling and
staying the course, whether that looks like, you know, inviting
God into the miraculous of something you thought you had to
find a needle in a haystack, that would be my hope.
And I love that the Bible even says that the gift of singleness
is something that God has to give.
And I think so many women have thought, well, maybe the Lord's
just forgotten me. He's just made me be single.
Reality is. And I love how our friend Mia
Field says this. Like for many, that is a way to
protect ourselves from the hurts we've experienced in the dating
world. God wants to be incredibly kind
to you. He wants to have his
fingerprints on your love story. So, you know, keep believing,
keep having hope. If he doesn't change that
desire, keep praying into it. Because the Bible says in
Ephesians that God can do exceedingly, abundantly more
than we can ask, think, or imagine.
So partner your ask, even if it's Lord, will you just not let
me settle today? That ask can grow tremendously
when we place it in the Lord's hands.
Yeah. And so I'm super excited about
this future husband and present prayers like there is something
that you can do now that you can pray in certain ways that it
sends a promise of God into your future.
And we're not saying the man of God, we're saying the promise of
God. And so you're never going to
regret growing spiritually. You're never going to regret
praying. And then a prayer journal, dear
future husband. And I love that these two, they
come together. And all I know is.
God never created any of us just to sit and wait.
God created us to partner with him.
Christian just quoted Ephesians 3 that God is able to do
exceedingly, abundantly above all, we can ask, hope, pray or
believe. But too many people have stopped
hoping. They've stopped praying.
They've stopped believing. And I hear an invitation from
Christian. I hear an invitation that God is
saying, go ahead and go ahead and dream again.
Go ahead and hope again. And Christian, I just want to
thank you for taking the time. I mean, there's so many times
I'd call you, you're like, I've got the kids down for nap and
I've got 5 seconds to write and I can't, I can't talk right now.
There was so much time time sewn into this message.
And John and I are just so proud of you.
I've watched Arden flourish as your husband.
I see you building a life with your husband.
I see the way you are a mother to your daughter and your son
and their unique personalities. And I just cannot recommend
enough that people get a hold of this.
I believe this is a tool. And I believe that, you know, we
we always say the future is male and female, but the future also
is family and well done, well done.
This is a counter cultural message right now, but it is so
key. And even if you're attacked,
Christian, just stay the course. Thank you, Christian.
Where can they get a hold of the book?
In the prayer journal. You can get both on Amazon.
We love quick shipping. They come out on February 10th.
Wonderful Christian. Thank you so very much.
Well, this has been the least severe podcast.
Listen, you can get a hold of Future husband, present prayer
and the journal anywhere you buy books.
You can go to Amazon.com. Is that the best place for them
to go? Or any bookstore.
Yes, Amazon, you can get it. You know, that's super quick
shipping. We love that both the books come
out on February 10th. Christian, thank you so much for
being my guest today on the podcast.
Thanks for being my mother-in-law.
Absolutely.