1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:05,120 I remember somebody saying to me that a woman in a pulpit with 2 00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:07,800 the name of Jesus in her mouth is a witch. 3 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:11,680 Let's just break that down. Can women preach? 4 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:14,240 This is an important conversation to have. 5 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:19,600 We have so much contention around this idea. 6 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:23,520 I am a pretty literal person. So when you hear things like 7 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:27,400 women are to be silent in the church, that sounds like from 8 00:00:27,400 --> 00:00:31,120 the moment they step into the building, no talking. 9 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:35,960 Like no, absolutely no talking. I believe that all women are. 10 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,600 Welcome back to the Fight for Female podcast with Lisa Bevere, 11 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:46,960 the woman known for her powerful voice. 12 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:51,400 But people may not know this. You didn't just come off the cus 13 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:57,120 ready to shout and point. And what you're sore you. 14 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:00,120 But that wasn't always the case. You had to actually find your 15 00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:04,519 voice and cultivate it. And in that process, people have 16 00:01:04,519 --> 00:01:06,520 been like, why are you preaching? 17 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:10,640 Who do you think you are? And I'm really just curious, 18 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,960 one, how did you actually find your voice? 19 00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:16,040 Because I think right now, in this day and age, especially 20 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:18,400 young women are trying to find their voice. 21 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:22,240 But we're hearing you need to take your voice for men, you 22 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:25,640 need to shout to be heard. You need to be fiercely 23 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:28,800 independent. But from the Bible I read, I 24 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,400 don't think that's actually true. 25 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:35,040 And I'm curious how you overcame insecurity, how you became the 26 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:37,000 least of the fear we know and love to listen to. 27 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:41,080 Yeah, I'll stop you there. Well, I want to, I want to step 28 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:44,480 back a little bit because I do think a lot of people think, oh, 29 00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,320 you just were always this way or obedience to God is a 30 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,480 personality thing. And it's not, it's an obedience 31 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:53,840 thing. John and I were, he was the 32 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:56,760 youth pastor then he came from youth to college and career. 33 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:02,360 And John was going to go on a trip to Trinidad and he said, 34 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:05,520 Lisa, I feel like the Holy Spirit is telling me you're 35 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:09,479 supposed to speak to the college and career group when I'm gone. 36 00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:14,200 And I said, absolutely not. I am not, I am not speaking to 37 00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:16,560 the College of Nope, I'm not going to do that. 38 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,600 And again, we, you know, I love Jesus and I never, ever want to 39 00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:23,760 disrespect or dishonor God. So I had scriptures in my head. 40 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,120 I suffer a woman not to preach or teach or have authority. 41 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:28,240 I'm like, I am not going to be that person. 42 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:30,640 I do not want to do that. And so John said, well, you 43 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:31,960 know, I really want you to pray about it. 44 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,120 And I said no, I'm just going to say no. 45 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,880 And he said, I I really need you to pray about it. 46 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:40,000 So I actually called the high school pastor and the junior 47 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,760 high pastor and asked both of them to sub for me. 48 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,640 And they said, your husband told us that you might do this. 49 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,680 The answer is no. So John does at least I really 50 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,120 need they need your voice. So I just wouldn't answer. 51 00:02:51,120 --> 00:02:52,960 I wouldn't answer. So John did this big build up. 52 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:55,080 We have a guest speaker. It's a mystery guest speaker 53 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,640 mystery. And all these people are like, 54 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,920 who is it? They're all guessing who the big 55 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,960 mystery guest speaker is. People that never come to the 56 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,240 youth, you know, are going to come now if we have no idea it's 57 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:06,920 someone famous and they're coming. 58 00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:10,560 And all I remember was I was pregnant with Austin. 59 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:15,520 I was sitting in the back of the room when somebody puts a yes, a 60 00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:19,400 tape in like, you know, one of the the tapes that you used to 61 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:24,480 put in rolls the video and it's John introducing me and he said, 62 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,400 I'm so excited that you guys are here. 63 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,040 My favorite person, my wife is going to be speaking and 64 00:03:30,040 --> 00:03:32,160 Christian half the room got up and left. 65 00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:36,560 And as I'm sitting in the back, they're grabbing their metal 66 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,960 chairs. They're folding them, They're 67 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:40,000 throwing them in the stacking thing. 68 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,280 They're like, I am not going to be here. 69 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:45,720 Listen to a woman. And I was like, I agree. 70 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:49,640 Let me go with you. And they, you know, filed past 71 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,520 me. I just remember I was like 72 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:55,480 sweating. I was nervous. 73 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,880 And our couple of our leaders were like, it's OK, come up. 74 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:03,240 So I got up and I was so afraid that I might say something wrong 75 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:09,040 so I just read scripture. I tried to make it as fast and 76 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,320 as pain free as every as possible. 77 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,200 Went and got my son out of nursery, went home. 78 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:19,720 I remember I put Addison to bed. We had no curtains in our our 79 00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:22,520 master bedroom because we had a fencer on our backyard and we 80 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,280 didn't, couldn't really afford curtains. 81 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:28,360 So I had put these little lace table toppers from Zaire's up 82 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:30,680 with thumbtacks. Try to make that look French 83 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:31,480 country. It didn't. 84 00:04:31,480 --> 00:04:34,600 It just looked ghetto. But anyway, I have it up and you 85 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:38,120 know, I have the lights on. I undress, I put on my pajamas, 86 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:41,800 I turn off the lights. I get into bed and somebody 87 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:44,280 pounds on my bedroom window. That same night. 88 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:47,360 That same and I I hear bang, bang, bang on the window and I 89 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:53,120 freeze and I hear the Holy Spirit say turn on the lights. 90 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,960 I thought if I turn on the lights they're going to see me 91 00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:58,400 and I heard they need to see you. 92 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,280 I turn on the lights. I pick up the phone. 93 00:05:00,280 --> 00:05:04,240 I called the police and what happened was some of the young 94 00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:11,120 men from the service had come to my house and banged on the 95 00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:15,840 window to let me know that women were to be silent in the church. 96 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:19,280 And, you know, the police came. We saw where they jumped over 97 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:20,800 the fence. We saw where they climbed back 98 00:05:20,800 --> 00:05:24,400 over. And John came home from Trinidad 99 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:27,720 and I, you know, crying. This is what happened. 100 00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:29,120 This is why I didn't want to do this. 101 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:31,960 Do you understand? And John listened to the whole 102 00:05:31,960 --> 00:05:36,760 thing and he said, you know, I'm, I'm really sad to know that 103 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:39,160 our college and career group, which were you that way made us 104 00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:42,120 one of the guests. And he said, but guests, you 105 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:46,000 know, even though this has all happened, you, you can't be 106 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,600 quiet. And I said, why not? 107 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:52,680 Oh, my gosh. And he said, Lisa, there are so 108 00:05:52,680 --> 00:05:56,920 many young girls watching and waiting for a woman to find her 109 00:05:56,920 --> 00:06:00,400 voice. And they feel like right now we 110 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,160 have the same situation you already mentioned. 111 00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:08,600 We've got a lot of angry voices and we've got a lot of silenced 112 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:11,360 voices. We have a culture sexualizing 113 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:15,200 what it means to be a woman. And at the same time, the church 114 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,720 is silencing the voice of its daughters. 115 00:06:18,200 --> 00:06:22,160 And this is a battle that women need to fight. 116 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:25,880 Women are the ones that are going to have to make the right 117 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:29,520 adjustments to tone down the anger, to be those that will 118 00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:33,720 lift our voice with wisdom and kindness and not anger and 119 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:36,800 vengefulness. And and men can't do that. 120 00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:39,720 The women are going to have to make that choice. 121 00:06:39,720 --> 00:06:41,920 And, and I remember the time feeling like John was just 122 00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,520 cruel, that he was just mean, that he had no understanding for 123 00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:50,120 my feelings or even my safety. And that has been a journey. 124 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,680 That was the most, I would say that was the most time I've ever 125 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:58,000 felt threatened by it. But it was just, you know, 126 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,800 there's been so many incidences where my husband has said to me, 127 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,880 you need to speak up. You need to say something. 128 00:07:05,880 --> 00:07:09,840 If you don't say something, then somebody else will say 129 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:12,360 something. I wrote my first book in secret. 130 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,800 I typed it out. My very first book was a book 131 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:16,000 called Out of Control and Loving It. 132 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:18,240 And I was talking about facing your fears so you could become 133 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,120 fearless. And it was a journey for me 134 00:07:21,360 --> 00:07:25,080 because I believe that the most terrifying thing I could ever do 135 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,560 in my entire life was get up in front of people and speak. 136 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:33,040 And so God was constantly pushing me to do the very thing 137 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:35,000 I was afraid of. And people might think, well why 138 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:37,840 were you afraid? Well, I'd lost an eye to cancer 139 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:41,720 when I was 5 S On top of feeling like Oh my gosh it might be 140 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:46,600 sinful for a woman to speak, I also, even if I was in a closed 141 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:49,880 room with only women, I was afraid. 142 00:07:50,280 --> 00:07:54,600 I felt self-conscious. I can go back to when I was 15 143 00:07:54,600 --> 00:07:57,320 years of age and I was in high school and I had to take either 144 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:01,560 debate or speech to graduate. And I was so nervous. 145 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:03,920 I said, well, I'm not going to be able to stand up and argue. 146 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:07,240 I will just do speech. And I was so nervous that I 147 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,200 stood up in front of my class of maybe 20 students and I froze. 148 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,320 And the teacher said you can go out in the hall and compose 149 00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:16,760 yourself. I was that like, freaked out, 150 00:08:17,320 --> 00:08:19,240 But I didn't go out in the hall and compose myself. 151 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,520 I ran to the guidance counsellor and I said this is not fair. 152 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:26,320 I only have one eye. I cannot get up in front of 153 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,600 these students who call me one eye And Cyclops. 154 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,120 That teacher, the guidance counselor was like, you're 155 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,440 right. I'm so sorry. 156 00:08:35,679 --> 00:08:37,559 I said I I just can't do it. And he said, well, you're not 157 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,919 going to be doing public speaking, are you? 158 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:41,480 I said, I will never do public speaking. 159 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:45,000 He said, OK, I'm going to waive the requirement for speech and 160 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,520 debate. He said, but you just need to 161 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,960 take another language arts. And I said, OK, I can do that. 162 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,640 And then I said, there's another class. 163 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,720 I'm having a really hard time. And he said, well, what is it? 164 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,280 I said, typing, Typing is impossible for me because back 165 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,880 then we had the typewriter and then we looked and I was like, I 166 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,560 I can't even tell if my hands are on the keys. 167 00:09:01,160 --> 00:09:06,200 So the two things that I got out of in high school, typing and 168 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:10,040 speaking, are the two things that I do now. 169 00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:15,680 And God actually loves to position his daughters and his 170 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,000 sons. But his daughters, since we're 171 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:20,120 talking about fighting for female, for them to find the 172 00:09:20,120 --> 00:09:24,640 faithfulness of God and the courage of the Holy Spirit when 173 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:28,280 they face a situation that they could never face in their 174 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,880 natural strength or ability. I'm curious, how did you manage 175 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,520 to get back on stage after that whole incident? 176 00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,120 Was that not just in the back of your head of if I keep getting 177 00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,880 up, I'm going to keep? Absolutely. 178 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,760 And and, like, stage would be the wrong time. 179 00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:46,360 Like, we're talking about rooms, not really stages. 180 00:09:46,360 --> 00:09:49,080 But yeah, John tricked me. John went. 181 00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:52,440 I had, I had my second son, then I had our third. 182 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:53,600 You know, I was pregnant with Alec. 183 00:09:53,600 --> 00:09:58,280 We had done a road trip up to Rockingham, NC, and we kind of 184 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:01,080 arrived late. And so John took a shower, 185 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:06,560 rushed out and I was back in the motel room with our two boys and 186 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:11,040 just, it was just terrifying. The hotel was a motel was was a 187 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:14,200 little hygiene challenge. And I was, you know, got the 188 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:16,000 boys jumping around. Finally went to sleep. 189 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:19,120 John comes back. I unlock the door, let him in 190 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,720 and climb back in bed. It's like midnight. 191 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,440 Yeah. And it was one of those beds 192 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,920 where you have to be on the edge because, like, it would go down 193 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,360 to, like, we'd roll into the center and crash into each 194 00:10:28,360 --> 00:10:30,240 other. And I'm pregnant anyway, he 195 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:31,000 said. Lisa. 196 00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:33,600 He. Was like, Lisa, this was such a 197 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,280 rough place. And I was like, oh, I'm so 198 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,840 sorry, he said. Yeah, he said. 199 00:10:36,840 --> 00:10:40,000 There's just, it's just, there's so much legalism. 200 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:42,640 And he said the women just seemed so sad. 201 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:46,280 And I was like, oh, that's sad. And he said, so I told them you 202 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,720 would do a women's meeting tomorrow morning. 203 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:52,000 And I'm like, what? No, I don't do women's meetings. 204 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:54,840 I don't like women. I'm not doing a women's meeting. 205 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:58,120 He's like, well, so I told the pastor you would do a women's 206 00:10:58,120 --> 00:10:59,440 meeting. So you just need to be ready. 207 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,120 And I think I kept them up till 2:00 AM. 208 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,960 Like, I can't believe you've done this to me. 209 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:06,480 You're going to do the women's. Meeting, whisper, yelling with 210 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:08,560 the kids asleep. Like, yeah, hitting, like, 211 00:11:08,560 --> 00:11:10,760 kicking them in the bed, like, if you rolled over on my side, 212 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,200 get away from me. I can't believe you've done 213 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,960 this. And John was like, you better go 214 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:15,920 to sleep because you're going to have to get up. 215 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:20,840 So I remember he took the boys out to eat somewhere, and I'm 216 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:23,000 kneeling on top of the bed because the carpet was so 217 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,120 filthy. Yeah. 218 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:26,960 Like, God, I can't believe I have to do this. 219 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:29,520 You know, I don't like women. You know, I don't like him. 220 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:33,160 And I heard so clearly back. I like women. 221 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:37,280 See, God loves women. And what we don't like about 222 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:42,000 women is the things that God never wove us to be. 223 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,960 And it's like, OK, of course you probably like women. 224 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:51,320 You made them. And he said women are answers to 225 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,040 major problems. And I thought, no, women are 226 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:57,520 major problems. Like I created woman as the 227 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,400 answer to the very first problem. 228 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:02,520 And that problem was it's not good for man to be alone. 229 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:06,720 If you begin to talk to women like their answers and not like 230 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:11,520 their problems, they'll begin to behave like answers and not like 231 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:12,960 problems. And I remember that was a 232 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:15,440 shifting of everything in my life. 233 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,640 And then I said, but there's no woman. 234 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,400 Like, I've never had a woman be an answer to me. 235 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,560 I don't know how to be that woman. 236 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,840 And he said, yes, you do. He said, write it backwards. 237 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:29,840 He said everything you wish another woman would have been to 238 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:34,840 you early in your marriage, growing up, raising young kids, 239 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,960 everything. Write it down. 240 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,680 And I remember sitting in that in that motel room and writing 241 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:46,400 down the things that I wish another woman would have poured 242 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:50,400 into me and making a decision to pour those things out for 243 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:53,000 another woman. And that was really a turning 244 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,400 point for my heart towards women. 245 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,920 And that was actually my motivation for finding my voice 246 00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:03,720 because I had the revelation and the realization that there had 247 00:13:03,720 --> 00:13:07,520 been a breakdown from one generation to another and that 248 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,840 God was saying, I don't want a mentoring of pride. 249 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:11,320 I want a mothering of brokenness. 250 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:14,840 And I saw this, this chain coming down from heaven and then 251 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:18,000 empty space. And then I saw one lone link. 252 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,680 And he said, this needs to be reconnected. 253 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,480 And so, you know, this is my hope for this podcast. 254 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:28,600 This is why I love that I get to do it with a younger woman who 255 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:32,480 is in a very different season and that I can open up my life. 256 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:35,440 And you don't have to make all the same mistakes, but you can 257 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,640 learn the lessons I've learned the hard way in an easier way 258 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:40,120 because you're going to have to do your own. 259 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,600 You know, I didn't have to wrestle with things like men 260 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,080 thinking they're women or women thinking they're. 261 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:47,400 I didn't have that. It might have been a behavioral, 262 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:52,080 but I never saw a switching of the places. 263 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,520 And so, you know, I really believe this is a divine 264 00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,760 conversation where the generations can glean from one 265 00:13:58,760 --> 00:14:02,600 another because the questions of the daughters is just as valid 266 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,960 as the answers that would come from mothers. 267 00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,440 I want to thank you for having the courage to do that. 268 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:10,160 And I know people right now would not assume that you 269 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,680 struggle in those areas, would not assume you know, that you 270 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:16,960 face backlash because nowadays I will say it is more, well, I 271 00:14:16,960 --> 00:14:18,480 want to speak and I want to do that. 272 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:22,040 But you really have paved the way, as John said, for helping 273 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:25,280 women, especially in this, this camp, find their voice and find 274 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:27,640 how to use it. I think more today the struggle 275 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:31,480 is well, how do we do that well and how do we do it in the God 276 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,760 honoring way because we do hear those verses of women are 277 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:38,080 supposed to be silent and even hearing how some of the men 278 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,840 responded. My question is, well, what are 279 00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:44,480 we scared of if that's our response is to attack and to 280 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,400 threaten, like what are we really scared of and empowered 281 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,720 women. I can clearly see how we're 282 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:54,400 doing it now in Society of how a man would be threatened by that 283 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,480 because it is you have to take from a man or man shouldn't have 284 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:01,080 any voice in you. Submission is wrong and there's 285 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:04,680 like a whole conversation there. But what does it actually look 286 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:07,080 like for women to be empowered to use their voice? 287 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,560 Well, because we know our voice is so vital, we don't learn how 288 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,240 to do that well. We will turn to using it in ways 289 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:16,360 that don't actually serve us or serve others. 290 00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:20,400 So the hope for this conversation is 1 to put to 291 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,440 rest. Can women speak or should they 292 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,320 be silent? But also how can we speak? 293 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:28,960 Where should we speak and what should our voices be doing and 294 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:31,680 edifying and strengthening in others? 295 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:34,920 Because you do that so well. Well, I'd, you know, and I'm 296 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,680 going to be honest with you, I love that you think I do it so 297 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:39,040 well. But I'm going to say there's 298 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:40,840 times I've done it well and there's times I haven't done it 299 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:43,000 well. But the truth is I want to grow. 300 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:46,560 And I do think this is an important conversation to have 301 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,960 rather than just be very dogmatic about it. 302 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:56,400 You know, we have so much contention around this idea and 303 00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:59,520 it's interesting. I am a pretty literal person. 304 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,480 So when you hear things like women are to be silent in the 305 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:07,480 church, that sounds like from the moment they step into the 306 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:12,040 building, no talking, No, like no, absolutely no talking. 307 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:15,960 When you drop off your kids, you have to do hand motions like 308 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,240 you. You pass a note like this is my, 309 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:24,560 you know, and because because no talking women to be silent in 310 00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,680 the church. If we're going to be dogmatic, 311 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,560 we need to take legalism all of the way. 312 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:31,400 And that's the scary thing about legalism. 313 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:35,400 We've also got this idea that when women, you know, women are 314 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,360 not to suffer women not to preach or teach obituary. 315 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:42,840 I do feel, I do feel that some women have misused their voice, 316 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,040 but so have some men. So it isn't so much about a 317 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:48,280 gender. So I'll, I want to like bounce 318 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,560 some of the things that I've actually had people say to me. 319 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:56,480 I remember somebody saying to me that a woman in a pulpit with 320 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,160 the name of Jesus in her mouth is a witch. 321 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,480 So let's, let's just break that down. 322 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:10,640 That is actually #1 putting a woman's gender as more powerful 323 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:15,720 than the name of Jesus. And it's also making the pulpit 324 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:20,520 something that it is not. There was not even pulpits for 325 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:24,400 the first like 1000 plus years of the church history. 326 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,000 The pulpit is a actually relatively new thing. 327 00:17:28,319 --> 00:17:33,840 So what they're saying is if a woman gets up and speaks the 328 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,640 name that is above all names, somehow it's transformed into 329 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,480 witchcraft. So that's that's the insanity 330 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:45,400 that we're dealing with. You had me do a, was it a TikTok 331 00:17:45,400 --> 00:17:49,040 or a reel or whatever? While the question was, can 332 00:17:49,120 --> 00:17:53,680 women preach? Yes, women can preach, but most 333 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,200 of the people came back with the scriptures that said women can't 334 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:59,600 pastor. And so I think we also need to 335 00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:03,720 differentiate. I believe that all women are 336 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:08,240 empowered by their heavenly Father to declare the good news 337 00:18:08,240 --> 00:18:11,400 of the gospel of Jesus Christ, whether they are doing that 338 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,920 publicly or whether they are doing that in a Bible study, 339 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,800 whether they are doing that at work, whatever it is, that is 340 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:20,640 part of being a disciple and being a witness of Jesus. 341 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:23,440 And so I feel like that it becomes confusing. 342 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:26,840 But more recently, more recently, we were in the car 343 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:28,600 when I discovered all these. Do you remember this? 344 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,920 More recently, I was speaking at a women's event. 345 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:38,800 I was speaking to 16th thousand women in San Antonio and some 346 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:44,320 men started to get really, really angry and these were some 347 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,440 of the comments I got. This was to me was really 348 00:18:46,440 --> 00:18:52,640 hilarious because I had said the truth without love is harsh and 349 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,600 so this was a response. The truth is I do not permit a 350 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,640 woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, rather she 351 00:18:59,640 --> 00:19:02,760 is remain quiet. For Adam was formed first then 352 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,400 Eve and Adam was not deceived but the woman was deceived and 353 00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,840 became a transgressor. Yet she will be saved through 354 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:13,120 childbearing if they continue in faith and love and holiness with 355 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:15,600 self-control. So I actually wrote the guy back 356 00:19:15,600 --> 00:19:19,520 and I said, then I should be set because I have birth four sons 357 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:24,040 and this is a woman's meeting. Then I'm like, what in the world 358 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:26,880 is going on? And then I had this is the other 359 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,680 one that, and the truth is I said the truth. 360 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,120 You know, I said, we've got the church preaching truth of love, 361 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:37,920 which is harsh. And I said the the culture is 362 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,760 responding to that by preaching love without truth. 363 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:44,920 And then he said he who hates truth more than women preachers 364 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:48,880 when the Bible clearly says women should not preach. 365 00:19:49,520 --> 00:19:53,680 And then this guy comes in and he said, well, I don't care if 366 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:56,120 it's a women's meeting. Men are seeing it. 367 00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:02,560 You have put this social media on social media where men can 368 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,240 see it. So, he said, don't post it where 369 00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:07,840 men might see it. Were you preaching in a bikini? 370 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:10,360 I was not. I was in long sleeves and I was 371 00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:13,000 in pants, which also became an issue with that one. 372 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,360 The Bible is straightforward, but I suffer a woman not to 373 00:20:15,360 --> 00:20:19,640 teach or usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 374 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:25,040 Please listen to the word of God and stop corrupting the church. 375 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:30,360 And then I was like, people started jumping on this guy and 376 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:33,120 said, you don't have to come here. 377 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:40,800 This is a you don't have to come to a women's Instagram and pause 378 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:45,560 and hear her preaching to women on women's things. 379 00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:48,640 And the guy goes back and says it is corrupting the word of the 380 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,760 Lord God. How do you not get it? 381 00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:53,560 Oh, there's a drag show happening. 382 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:56,840 Sorry ma'am, just walk by it if it's not for you. 383 00:20:57,120 --> 00:21:00,240 You shall not stay silent when the highest of evil is 384 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,160 happening. Women speaking and exercising 385 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:08,200 authority over men in the House of worship is madness. 386 00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:16,000 That that is the level. So apparently women preaching is 387 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:23,680 worse than a drag show and women preaching is the highest form of 388 00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:26,560 evil. So this is, I wish, I wish I 389 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,080 could tell you guys, I was joking about this, but this was 390 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,400 just a couple months ago, like it was in January, I think. 391 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:37,560 So this is something that we've got to navigate as women where 392 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,640 we can be wise with the Word of God. 393 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:43,640 We got to know the Scripture. We can't answer back in anger. 394 00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:49,120 The thing here I I want to respect is there is a lot of 395 00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:52,520 people taking verses out of context or throwing it aside to 396 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:54,920 do their own will. And so I know I don't want to 397 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:58,200 take lightly that and just say, oh, well, you know, it doesn't 398 00:21:58,200 --> 00:21:59,160 matter. It's not relevant. 399 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,680 What we're saying is what is actually the context there. 400 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,000 What I'm hearing in that context is women should not be, you 401 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,000 know, putting men down. They should be trying to 402 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:12,240 overstep and and change their gender roles there or the power 403 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,000 that they have. And I think that's actually more 404 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,880 what's going on when women don't know how to use their voice. 405 00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,480 Well, yeah, because they they will. 406 00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:23,120 When women don't know how to use their voice well, they will 407 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,800 mimic the man's voice. And we don't need women who 408 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,560 sound like men. We need women who sound like 409 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,160 mothers. We need women who understand the 410 00:22:30,160 --> 00:22:34,240 value of the feminine voice, the strength, the wisdom, the 411 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:37,320 kindness of the feminine voice. And going back to what you said 412 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:41,520 said, if you notice the two prohibitive scriptures that but 413 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:47,480 I you know, and it's even clearly it's Paul says I suffer 414 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:52,440 not a woman. He doesn't say God suffers not a 415 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,600 woman. So he's he's speaking 416 00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:58,760 specifically to a situation where in the Greek culture, they 417 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,400 believe the woman was first, not the man. 418 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,040 They believed that. Yeah, the woman, the woman came 419 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,080 first. Speaking to that culture when it 420 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:10,120 was talking about saved during childbearing, they would go to 421 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:14,280 the the temple of Diana to be saved during childbearing. 422 00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,560 And he was saying you no, you don't have to do that. 423 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,720 You can trust God. You can continue in faith with 424 00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:21,200 that. If we're saved through 425 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,400 childbearing, Jesus wouldn't need to have come. 426 00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,160 Everybody would have been saved by women having childbearing. 427 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:30,720 That doesn't even make sense. So what we have to say is, does 428 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:33,200 that look like throughout the scriptures? 429 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,120 Is that how God interact with him? 430 00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:37,080 And well, you've already mentioned you've got Deborah, 431 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:41,400 you've got Abigail, you've got Miriam, who was a prophetess who 432 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:44,960 obviously was part of instructing and leading, who 433 00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:48,120 co-authored the very first song, all this kind of stuff. 434 00:23:48,120 --> 00:23:51,760 So we seek God having women involved. 435 00:23:52,120 --> 00:23:54,720 The very first, the very first. I love this so much. 436 00:23:54,720 --> 00:24:00,720 The very first recorded act of civil disobedience is the the 437 00:24:00,720 --> 00:24:03,520 midwives where they refused to obey. 438 00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,480 So they were like, no. So there's definitely this 439 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,120 interesting dynamic, but there's also a fallen dynamic. 440 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:13,280 And Jesus came to seek and save that which was lost, not just 441 00:24:13,280 --> 00:24:15,880 the lost that which was lost. So now he's coming. 442 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,360 And then you've got Acts 217 where Acts says in the last 443 00:24:19,360 --> 00:24:23,160 days, God says, which kind of sounds like God is saying, Hey, 444 00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:27,440 I understand here. But now we're in a new day where 445 00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,680 people are born again, where women are educated, where we're 446 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:35,000 in the process of restoring. I mean, what does it say? 447 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:38,000 It says the heavens must retain Jesus till the restoration of 448 00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,400 all things. And one of those things, the 449 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,320 restoration we haven't seen enough is death. 450 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:45,040 So we're still in a restoration process. 451 00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:48,720 And he, he's very clear, the prophetic anointing of God, 452 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:53,560 pouring out his spirit on your sons and your daughters. 453 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:57,000 And then at the very end of that, he even says on my men 454 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:02,240 servants and my maidservants that they would prophecy. 455 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,560 And I feel like we're making a lot of things complicated that 456 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:09,120 God made just very pure and very simple, because now we're like, 457 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:11,560 well, they can prophecy if their head's covered. 458 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:17,640 We can, they can prophecy if if there's there's so much rules 459 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:24,360 where I see Jesus always interacting with so much love 460 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:27,600 and freedom. And I think the key there too is 461 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,280 sons and daughters when we forget the and of course we're 462 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,880 going to be divisive and nitpicking every detail is 463 00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,760 because we're coming against we're doing a verses where it 464 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:41,160 says to do an and and I love how even Jesus addresses the 465 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,640 Pharisees is like when you were just so fixated on the rules, 466 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,960 you miss the heart of the message. 467 00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:51,240 And so this is no cry for us to say well they don't understand 468 00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:54,160 us and just anyone that leaves them in common is wrong and the 469 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:57,760 enemy. But more of a lend to how can we 470 00:25:58,120 --> 00:26:01,680 understand the heart and also make sure we are walking in the 471 00:26:01,680 --> 00:26:03,240 way. Because the Bible also gives 472 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,800 examples of Jezebel and Delilah and it does show. 473 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,320 An Ahab. And I mean like, yeah, you have 474 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,560 to have both. Like yes, yes, yes, no, no, I 475 00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:13,240 mean it. It's like when you don't use 476 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,840 your voice well, it can lead to destruction. 477 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:18,040 So it's like, how do we? I do know our. 478 00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:20,560 Voice and use well. Yeah, and I do think women's 479 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,680 fallen form is manipulation and seduction. 480 00:26:24,680 --> 00:26:27,160 I mean, I'm going to be the first person to say absolutely 481 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,480 seen it. And that is the fallen form. 482 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:34,000 But the godly form is wisdom and influence. 483 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:37,680 And so we have to bring women into full redemption because 484 00:26:37,680 --> 00:26:40,960 some of the ways I hear people preach about women, it almost 485 00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,000 sounds like the blood of Jesus and his death was enough to 486 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,240 fully redeem men. But women, they're only 487 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:50,160 partially redeemed. So they got to be saved through 488 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:51,880 childbearing. They got to wear head coverings. 489 00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:56,360 They've got, you know, whatever, whatever that thing is, that is 490 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,080 over. And the top of what Jesus did, 491 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:03,920 it feels like it just keeps getting added as a layer where 492 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:07,760 it is for freedom that Christ has set us free no longer to be 493 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,200 entangled again with a yoke of slavery. 494 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,920 And what happened with the Galatian churches, they started 495 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,960 in the Spirit and then they started to take all these 496 00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:20,240 different behaviors in the flesh to perfect themselves. 497 00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:23,840 Well, if any of us can perfect ourselves, then Jesus didn't 498 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:26,520 need to come die. I mean, God is not going to send 499 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:30,040 his only begotten Son to die for the world if the world could 500 00:27:30,040 --> 00:27:31,120 have figured it out on their own. 501 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:35,520 So we're think we're acting like, well, now we've got it 502 00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,160 figured out, we'll just be perfected again with our own 503 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,880 works when we've proven that we can't. 504 00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:45,760 I, I do feel like there's two major schools of thought when 505 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,000 you're talking about women and their roles in the Bible. 506 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:52,120 You have got egalitarian and you've got complementarian, and 507 00:27:52,120 --> 00:27:56,400 egalitarians believe that there's basically no male or 508 00:27:56,400 --> 00:27:59,480 female that. I mean, they believe they exist, 509 00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:04,120 but there's no specific like a man can do whatever a woman 510 00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:05,520 does. A woman can do whatever a man 511 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:09,400 does in the church, in the body of Christ that they're equally 512 00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:13,640 empowered to lead or whatever. Then there's complementarian, 513 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:20,320 which to the extreme would be only man, lonely man, women. 514 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,000 Is is still kind of hidden in the man still kind of. 515 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,440 I'm kind of like if a complimentarian and an 516 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:27,960 egalitarian got married and they had a baby. 517 00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:31,800 That's how I look at it. I don't like egalitarian and I 518 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,320 don't like, you know, complimentary. 519 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:38,880 I do believe that men and women have equal value and different 520 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,320 roles. But I don't believe that the 521 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,240 woman's role is silence. I don't believe that she has a 522 00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:47,320 role that is non redemptive. I don't believe that the woman's 523 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:51,280 role is prohibitive. I believe that the woman's role 524 00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:57,440 is, is more fully realized now as she has been born again and 525 00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,360 as she has been discipled. And, and you know, I mean, 526 00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,320 they've even gotten to the place now where they're, they're 527 00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:05,440 saying that a woman cannot have a Bible. 528 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,080 You cannot have a woman's Bible state unless a man's covering 529 00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,160 it. I don't know if you knew that. 530 00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:12,720 So if you've been going to a Bible state and there's not a 531 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:16,280 man present, you need to stop. No, it's just it. 532 00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:22,560 Jesus is either our head spiritually, our husband is the 533 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:27,120 head in a marriage. But when you look at even that, 534 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:34,640 it is a headship not for self benefit, but to actually create 535 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:38,560 an environment for the wife and the children and himself. 536 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:42,840 Because when you have your wife flourishing says if you love 537 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,120 your wife like your own body, you nurture and you care for it. 538 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,240 So there's these dynamics that you see in a marriage that we 539 00:29:49,240 --> 00:29:52,640 should see reflected in the church, a dynamic in a family 540 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:55,800 that we should see in a church. Because God is ultimately a 541 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,360 father. And I think everybody keeps 542 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:59,760 forgetting that, right? And it should be the synergy. 543 00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:02,760 And I think what's beautiful is when you have both voices 544 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:08,160 complementary and in tune with their specific design. 545 00:30:08,160 --> 00:30:10,240 It's almost like a Symphony where it's like there's a 546 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:13,000 harmony, there's a balance which actually heightens the tune. 547 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:16,120 It heightens the magic, it heightens this, the beauty that 548 00:30:16,120 --> 00:30:19,000 is within it, where if one was silent or one was dominating, 549 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,080 you wouldn't have that same effect, right? 550 00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:24,160 And if we go to nature, even where it's simple, you don't 551 00:30:24,200 --> 00:30:28,000 have all the social nuances. You'll appreciate this one 552 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:29,200 because I know you like this animal too. 553 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,800 But the lion I think is such a beautiful example where the male 554 00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,280 is this hunter, but you have the huntress which. 555 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,600 If he's male, is the killer. Killer. 556 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:41,400 The lioness is the hunter. Hunter OK, but they do it in 557 00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:44,280 synergy where I love the the sample. 558 00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:48,600 Yes, he roars and she covers actually his neck and I think 559 00:30:48,600 --> 00:30:53,160 how beautiful if we do that where I see my husband as and I 560 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,600 know he sees me this way too. And we hear this a lot of even 561 00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,640 like dating. Well, I can pursue the man and I 562 00:30:57,640 --> 00:31:00,680 can do what he does. Sure, you might could, but do we 563 00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:04,360 not see ourselves as this prize, this beauty, which doesn't mean 564 00:31:04,360 --> 00:31:07,960 we're less than or fragile, but that we are cherished? 565 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:11,000 And I wish more women would see that, whether it is in 566 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,720 relationship or it is in your identity where you're not less 567 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:15,720 than. This kind of goes back to our 568 00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,320 other conversations around equal and unique. 569 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:22,560 You have a unique position in the female male dynamic and it's 570 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:24,000 beautiful. It's worth pursuing. 571 00:31:24,680 --> 00:31:28,120 I think part of what's hindering that is we're just saying men 572 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,680 can be women and women can be men, but that's caused so much 573 00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:33,960 confusion. And we have had a breakdown of 574 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,080 traditional roles. And I know there's a healthy 575 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,640 response in the trad trad wife movement and then maybe a little 576 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:42,960 bit of an overkill in the trad wife movement. 577 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:49,600 But I do think that it wasn't wrong for women to be provided 578 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:54,800 for and protected by men, especially when they're bearing 579 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:58,200 children. I'm like, Oh my gosh, seriously? 580 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,480 It's my husband when I was in the first trimester and like I 581 00:32:01,480 --> 00:32:03,840 was like, if I get out of bed without eating, I will puke 582 00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,240 everywhere. He's like, no, honey, let me 583 00:32:05,240 --> 00:32:07,080 make you breakfast. Let me bring it to you. 584 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,760 In that moment, I wasn't like, no, how dare you. 585 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,480 I can do it myself. I was like, thank you. 586 00:32:11,480 --> 00:32:14,000 I feel so much better and. Then once you've had a child. 587 00:32:14,400 --> 00:32:17,280 Yeah, it's like I. You need your husband to 588 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,400 protect. I want that support, I want to 589 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:23,120 be seen, I want to be comforted and that actually helps me get 590 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,000 stronger quicker. It lets me regain my strength. 591 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:29,320 I know, Christian, you may not know this about me, but when 592 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:34,240 John and I first got married, he was working as an engineer and I 593 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,320 was, I was completely close. I was like, I have no idea what 594 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:39,960 I'm doing, what I'm called to do. 595 00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:44,840 And then I got an amazing job and all of the sudden I had this 596 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:50,560 amazing job and I'm travelling and I'm a Rep for a cosmetic 597 00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:53,880 company. But my my parent company was Eli 598 00:32:53,880 --> 00:32:56,280 Lilly. And I'm just, everything is 599 00:32:56,280 --> 00:32:58,480 happening. I'm, you're a girl boss 25. 600 00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:00,680 Yeah, I'm a girl boss. I'm you know, I've got the 601 00:33:00,680 --> 00:33:02,680 expense account, I got the company car. 602 00:33:02,680 --> 00:33:05,760 I've got all this stuff going. And then I have a dream one 603 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:10,200 night and I have this beautiful dream that I have a, a beautiful 604 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:15,720 baby boy. And my heart woke up and I 605 00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:20,840 decided I, you know what? This, this has been great for a 606 00:33:20,840 --> 00:33:25,680 season, but this isn't my heart. And I made a change. 607 00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:29,880 And we, you know, I, I quit that job, turn to my notice, start 608 00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:32,000 working at the church where Don was working. 609 00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:38,040 And I was working full time for a while and he was working part 610 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:43,480 time and I had had my baby. I was nursing my baby. 611 00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:46,040 I was pumping my breasts at work. 612 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:49,720 I was feeding him on lunch hour. Like I would go and nurse the 613 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,440 baby on lunch hour. I made all the organic baby food 614 00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:56,800 and John was working part time. I'm working 40 plus hours. 615 00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:03,720 I was on Towery and I remember just beginning to stress out and 616 00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:07,480 I was just like, Oh my gosh, I'm carrying all this weight and the 617 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,679 baby and I'm carrying this weight and I'm and my husband's 618 00:34:09,679 --> 00:34:11,880 not working full time and I'm working full time and, and I 619 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:15,000 remember 1 particular night, John was sound asleep and I 620 00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,600 reached over and I grabbed him. I said, do you realize if you 621 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,440 die I don't have enough life insurance on you? 622 00:34:19,440 --> 00:34:21,960 And he was like, what are you doing? 623 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:24,639 You're laying in the bed thinking about me dying. 624 00:34:24,639 --> 00:34:28,960 And he said, yes, I am because I was trying to just run all of 625 00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,440 the gauntlet that if I can't control something, I'm going to 626 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:32,480 have to find a way to control it. 627 00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,440 And during that time period, I was so stressed out my, I swear 628 00:34:35,440 --> 00:34:36,880 my ears and my shoulders were attached. 629 00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,560 So I got one of those water piked shower massages. 630 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,239 I put it in my shower. I was laying in the shower, try 631 00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:43,800 to beat down my shoulders. I'm just trying to relax finding 632 00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:46,719 any way nursing babies still, still going through all the 633 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,920 stress, taking the baby to daycare because John would never 634 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:51,960 get him there on time or forget to change his diaper. 635 00:34:51,960 --> 00:34:52,840 I was like, fine, I'll just do it. 636 00:34:52,840 --> 00:34:53,960 I'll just do it. I'll just do it. 637 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:59,080 I'm in the shower and I haven't, I haven't heard God speak to me. 638 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:05,960 I haven't experienced peace. And I hear you don't think 639 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:07,800 John's a good head of the household, do you? 640 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:12,600 That's an easy one. No, I know he's not. 641 00:35:13,640 --> 00:35:15,400 And I heard you think you can do it better. 642 00:35:16,400 --> 00:35:18,280 I said I know I can do it better. 643 00:35:19,720 --> 00:35:23,560 And then I heard John likes you being the head of the household. 644 00:35:24,440 --> 00:35:28,160 He's all he's ever known is a mother and all he's ever known 645 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:29,520 how to act like is the little boy. 646 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:34,480 He said, But it's a mantle to John Lisa, and it's a yoke to 647 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,120 you. Throw it off your shoulders. 648 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,960 And I remember thinking, if I throw this off my shoulders, the 649 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:41,280 diapers going to go up to the ceiling. 650 00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,320 The garbage will never go out. The baby will never be taken 651 00:35:43,320 --> 00:35:45,720 care of. And then Christian, all of a 652 00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:51,280 sudden I saw this rewind of my conversations with my husband 653 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:57,560 where I had systematically in in some ways just undermined his 654 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:01,560 authorities and in other ways emasculated his ability to 655 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:04,200 actually make mistakes or be a leader. 656 00:36:04,600 --> 00:36:07,440 And I came out of the shower that night and I was crying and 657 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:10,560 I, I, John was like reading in bed or something. 658 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,280 And I just said, I, I'll quit my job. 659 00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,560 I'll quit my job tomorrow. I, I just, I, I, I want to be 1 660 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:16,920 again. And I remember John saying to 661 00:36:16,920 --> 00:36:20,040 me, you don't need to quit your job, but I do think you need to 662 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,920 quit thinking you're the source. And we joined hands. 663 00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:29,360 And I watched my husband go from a boy to a man when I stopped 664 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:33,320 being his mother and I started to be his wife. 665 00:36:33,840 --> 00:36:38,560 And I think so many of these young girls have grown up in 666 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:42,680 households where the man doesn't know how to be a man. 667 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:43,680 He doesn't know how to be a father. 668 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,560 He doesn't know how to be a provider, and the wife doesn't 669 00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:51,200 know how to be a mother. We have a breakdown where women 670 00:36:51,240 --> 00:36:54,800 are telling men to be men, but they're telling men to be men 671 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,440 like they want them to be men. They're not actually telling 672 00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:58,920 them to be men like men should be men. 673 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,160 They're saying, I want you to be a man the way a woman thinks a 674 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:05,760 man should be. And we've had this breakdown for 675 00:37:05,760 --> 00:37:08,920 quite a while and this needs to be spoken to. 676 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:12,080 And and women when they're feeling all this tension and all 677 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,520 their pressure because it used to be men died of heart disease 678 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:18,320 and women didn't. Now women are dying of heart 679 00:37:18,320 --> 00:37:23,360 attacks because we are taking things on that God is not asking 680 00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:24,080 us. Now what? 681 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:29,440 Having said that, you can work full time and have no stress 682 00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:30,800 when you know God is your source. 683 00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:34,320 But you will always have stress when you're the source. 684 00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:41,120 And I have worked and been at peace and I have worked and been 685 00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,920 completely stressed out and peace is better. 686 00:37:44,200 --> 00:37:48,480 Just just going to say that. And I do want to empathize with 687 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,840 women that say, well, culture is kind of different now. 688 00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:54,480 People like no one's proposing until we're like in our 30s. 689 00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:56,520 There's a time period when I'm not in my parents household. 690 00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,400 I need to work. I don't think I think there's 691 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:01,040 anything wrong with that, especially like you're saying if 692 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:04,640 God's providing or he's calling you to to serve or to work. 693 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,480 But there is a point and I think and when it is God's timing, he 694 00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:09,880 highlights things. Because I thought the same 695 00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:10,960 thing. I was like, I'm going to have my 696 00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:14,360 baby and then I'm going to go back and it's going to be easy. 697 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,120 I would be bored at home. And for some people, they do 698 00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:19,680 that. And for me, I just had this 699 00:38:19,680 --> 00:38:24,400 moment where I was like, what is the best stewarding of my time? 700 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:26,840 What is the most important role right now? 701 00:38:26,840 --> 00:38:29,360 And I'm so thankful that's evolved and I do get the chance 702 00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:31,680 to work and do things with with women. 703 00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:35,720 But it was just this realization where you don't have to choose. 704 00:38:35,720 --> 00:38:39,640 It doesn't have to be this girl boss, independent or a stay at 705 00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:41,160 home mom. Because for just whatever 706 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,040 reason, growing up, it's like, oh, that's such a lesson role. 707 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,440 That's so lazy. I'm not telling you that. 708 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:47,640 It's not. Amazing. 709 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:52,160 It is so hard and but I've seen in the season as I've re picked 710 00:38:52,160 --> 00:38:55,400 up things and I felt the peace on it before I was like, there's 711 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,080 no way I can do all this. There's no way I can manage it. 712 00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:58,840 There's no way I can be a Good Wife and a good mom. 713 00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:02,720 And I've been shocked, Lisa, at how much peace I find in things. 714 00:39:02,720 --> 00:39:06,000 Or there's there's God ideas and I can do more in two hours when 715 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,320 he's napping than I feel like I could do beforehand. 716 00:39:08,320 --> 00:39:12,600 And like you said, I think when we limit how God can speak to us 717 00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:17,200 and where he can use us, we miss out on seeing facets of who he 718 00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:20,520 is and letting him be glorified through what we're called to do 719 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,360 by thinking, I've got to do it all. 720 00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:25,760 I've got to make a name for myself and it can change. 721 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,560 And so I think being open to that and saying, like, Lord, I 722 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,360 just graduated, I got this degree. 723 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:32,680 How do you want to use me right now? 724 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:36,520 I'm open to your plan. I want to use my voice, but I 725 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:40,000 don't want to feel like I have to control it or I have to shout 726 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:43,800 it because I think voice is not so much about tone or place, 727 00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:47,360 it's about authority. And I do believe, and I believe 728 00:39:47,440 --> 00:39:50,000 you believe this too, that God gives a certain type of 729 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,680 authority to his sons and to his daughters. 730 00:39:52,840 --> 00:39:54,200 And we speak to different things. 731 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:58,080 And I think that, I mean, going back to the lion, I love that 732 00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:00,680 both lions and lionesses both roar. 733 00:40:01,040 --> 00:40:03,760 It isn't just the lion that roars, and it isn't just the 734 00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:06,800 lioness that they both roar, but they roar for different reasons. 735 00:40:07,240 --> 00:40:12,000 One roars to say, This is my territory and I am, I am ready 736 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:13,920 to protect it. That is the lion's roar. 737 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:19,200 He he, he calls out any infringement, any trespassing, 738 00:40:19,680 --> 00:40:23,920 any danger. But the lioness roars to call 739 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:28,960 back the Cubs that are lost and to affirm her alliance to the 740 00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,920 lion. And I feel like right now we 741 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:35,000 need a generation of women who are saying, I'm going to use my 742 00:40:35,000 --> 00:40:40,520 voice not to denounce the men, not to promote myself, but to 743 00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:47,640 announce my alliance to my king. And I want to use my voice to be 744 00:40:47,640 --> 00:40:52,120 protective of children because more and more our children are 745 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:54,000 at risk. And, you know, this is something 746 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,560 I got to glimpse when I would go overseas and see different 747 00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:01,040 things with sex trafficking. I realized that what we tolerate 748 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:05,320 for others comes to overtake us. And so if you don't address 749 00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:08,960 something when you see it, you're going to see it in a 750 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,280 different season and it will have grown. 751 00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:15,960 And so I think women need to realize that God is asking His 752 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:20,720 daughters to use their voice to speak a life and strength and 753 00:41:20,720 --> 00:41:26,680 blessing to the sons, and to speak rescue to the children and 754 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:30,840 to speak affirmation of encouragement to one another. 755 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:34,400 I feel like women are sometimes our own worst enemies. 756 00:41:34,760 --> 00:41:38,280 They're they're jealous, they're competitive and it's, it's a 757 00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:40,480 fallen thing. It's not how God created women 758 00:41:40,480 --> 00:41:43,040 to be. So I, I just love that number 759 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:45,680 one, voice is the first, first line of defense. 760 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,040 If somebody is trying to abduct somebody, the first thing they 761 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:51,400 say is don't scream. And it's the first thing you 762 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:52,720 should do. You should scream because they 763 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:55,480 know as soon as you use your voice, they're going to be in 764 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,040 trouble. So the enemy is always going to 765 00:41:57,040 --> 00:42:01,400 say to women, don't speak, don't talk, don't use your voice. 766 00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:08,080 You cannot, you cannot listen to his intimidation when God says 767 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:12,480 that he gave woman a voice when he was like, OK, I'm creating 768 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:14,680 woman. He didn't say I'm going to only 769 00:42:14,680 --> 00:42:16,720 have the man have a voice and the woman gets no voice. 770 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,240 He was like, I'm going to need the man to speak to certain 771 00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:21,240 things and the woman to speak to certain things. 772 00:42:21,240 --> 00:42:24,200 And there are things for the men to address and speak to in 773 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,160 marriage and relationship in culture. 774 00:42:26,240 --> 00:42:28,760 And there's things for the women to address and speak to in 775 00:42:28,760 --> 00:42:30,400 marriage and relationship and culture. 776 00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:34,720 And we use our voice to connect and also to protect. 777 00:42:34,720 --> 00:42:39,120 And so I, I'm really excited about seeing this turn where 778 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,800 women are going to recover their voice for the right reasons. 779 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:45,920 And you know, there's been a lot of anger, but the wrath of man 780 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:47,960 never works the righteous purposes of God. 781 00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:51,360 And we've had a lot of angry women voices and it's actually 782 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:55,160 ended up working against moving a healthy voice forward. 783 00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:57,440 I think this is so key to understand and I'm actually 784 00:42:57,440 --> 00:43:00,280 excited as the seasons go on, we are going to address some of 785 00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:03,440 those certain topics and really how we can position those well. 786 00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:06,600 So make sure you are subscribed so you don't miss any of those.