1 00:00:03,760 --> 00:00:06,080 Hey there, welcome to Tea with Mara. 2 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,840 Thanks for seeking out these recordings and listening. 3 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,960 My name is George and you may know me as Keoki in the 4 00:00:11,960 --> 00:00:14,280 metaverse. These recordings are from my 5 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:18,320 live sessions in virtual reality and in person at Two Hand Sanga. 6 00:00:19,320 --> 00:00:22,160 For the best experience of these sessions, you can join me in 7 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:25,400 virtual reality, but when you can't, or if you want to go back 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,400 and listen again, these audio recordings will be offered 9 00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:31,520 freely. If you have AVR headset or an 10 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:35,720 Android or Apple smartphone, you can log into VR Chat and search 11 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,680 for the group Mindfulness VR with No Spaces. 12 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:42,800 Join that group and you can find me there at 8:00 PM Eastern Time 13 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:46,600 on Tuesdays or 9:00 PM Eastern Time on Thursdays. 14 00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,800 If you wish to support my teachings and these recordings, 15 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,520 the best way to do that is to leave a review and share this 16 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:55,400 podcast with others. And if you find value in them 17 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:58,760 and you want to, you can make a donation offering right within 18 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:05,720 the Two Hands Sanga website at www.twohandssanga.org/donate. 19 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,120 Now let's invite the bell and begin. 20 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,400 All right, good evening and welcome. 21 00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,400 Thank you for being here tonight. 22 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:44,720 And of course, we, we hope that our vacationing friends are all 23 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:46,880 enjoying their travels and what not. 24 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:52,400 Whoever is off doing that, my daughter is also vacationing. 25 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:59,120 She's off in Canada visiting her grandmother and that left has 26 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:03,120 left me with way more free time than I'm accustomed to having 27 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,960 because I spend all of my free time, almost all of my free time 28 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:11,240 with my daughter. So with her gone, I have lots of 29 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:12,920 free time that I'm not accustomed to. 30 00:02:13,560 --> 00:02:15,840 And of course I miss her very much. 31 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:18,480 You guys know how much I love spending time with my daughter, 32 00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:24,320 but so I'm missing her a lot. But I would also, I would 33 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,720 greatly prefer to be reading with her like I normally do over 34 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,360 a cup of coffee or tea at our favorite tea shop. 35 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:34,600 But as much as I do miss her, I'm trying hard to use that 36 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:38,640 extra time that I find myself with skillfully or wisely. 37 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:41,880 And I was sort of thinking about that and that's what led to 38 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,360 tonight's talk. Using that time wisely. 39 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:51,200 And what do I mean by that even is, is I can tell you that 40 00:02:51,960 --> 00:02:56,640 typically when we say use your time wisely, I think in the West 41 00:02:56,640 --> 00:03:00,080 we tend to think of that as do something productive. 42 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:05,200 Make make make use of yourself, be of some, do something, get 43 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:08,960 off your butt and do something. And that might be do some work 44 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:12,240 or maybe some household projects or yard projects. 45 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:16,400 Heaven forbidden 93° temperature and humidity. 46 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:19,640 Fill that time with some sort of activity. 47 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,400 I think that's how we usually understand that. 48 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:26,480 And often times we either do that, we use it in those ways, 49 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:30,680 or we fill our time, our free time with busy work so that we 50 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,760 don't have to be still with our minds. 51 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:36,360 Or there might be lots of reasons, but that's probably 52 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:39,640 chief among them is we don't want to sit still with our 53 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,880 minds. I don't think most people would 54 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:45,760 even know, to put it that way, that I don't want to sit still 55 00:03:45,760 --> 00:03:48,120 because then I got to be with my mind. 56 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:53,240 But they just know that they feel compelled to do something. 57 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:59,520 So we either fill that time up or we don't. 58 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:03,480 And if we don't, then we feel sometimes stressed or agitated 59 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:07,880 because we're still, we're sitting there being still, but 60 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:12,160 we're not enjoying that. So we have this downtime and we 61 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,000 sit still. And now we're what we call 62 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:17,839 bored, which I've always had trouble even understanding being 63 00:04:17,839 --> 00:04:23,400 bored, but but we, we sit still and we find ourselves feeling 64 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,360 just restless and bored and we don't enjoy that. 65 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:33,120 So we spend that time because we don't understand why we feel 66 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,400 that way. Then we spend that time beating 67 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,600 ourselves up for not doing busy work that we think we should be 68 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,280 doing. So we're either doing the busy 69 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,480 work or we're beating ourselves up for not doing the busy work. 70 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,720 But very rarely do we just sit and enjoy ourselves. 71 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:51,280 And I used to do that all the time. 72 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:56,080 I filled my time with all manner of projects and things that I 73 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,600 thought would be fun or cool to do or whatnot. 74 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:01,240 And I still do that often, very often. 75 00:05:02,120 --> 00:05:06,120 I was known in the old days before I practice Buddhism, I 76 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:10,120 was known for saying, and I sometimes still do that. 77 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:13,640 If I lived 5 lifetimes, I could never do all of the things that 78 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:16,760 I want to do. So I don't usually get bored, 79 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:21,720 but I definitely am guilty of of filling my downtime with 80 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,360 projects or things that I want to work on. 81 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,000 And I've gotten way better about that. 82 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,680 But it's definitely still something that I still do to 83 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:37,040 this day. But two things about that are 84 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,280 nowadays it would if I said that it would probably be more 85 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:44,920 realistic to say 10 lifetimes because I've been saying if I 86 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:48,520 had five lifetimes for most of this lifetime. 87 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:52,200 And I feel like now there's just more that I want to do, not 88 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,640 less. But the second thing, 89 00:05:55,640 --> 00:06:00,480 thankfully, is that through the Dhamma, I've learned to let one 90 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:05,360 of the things that I fill my time with be non doing or doing 91 00:06:05,360 --> 00:06:07,680 non doing. You hear that sometimes called 92 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:14,200 wuwei. And a lot of us spend years or 93 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:19,280 months or weeks or probably more years, maybe even decades 94 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,360 wishing we could get a quiet weekend. 95 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:24,000 I wish I could just have one good long weekend where I could 96 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,160 do something. In fact, I was just talking with 97 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:30,640 a friend of mine who is on vacation this week and they're 98 00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:32,840 going to Aruba. And I said, I don't think I've 99 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:38,240 ever gone on a That's not true. I've gone on some vacations, but 100 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,480 I don't think I've ever gone on vacation like that. 101 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:44,160 In fact, I know I haven't. I've never gone on what I think 102 00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:49,960 people think of as a vacation. My vacations are usually going 103 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,680 with family, to some family events somewhere. 104 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:55,400 It's not like going to a beach in Aruba or whatever. 105 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,480 And I give my friend a lot of grief for the vacations that she 106 00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:01,120 takes. But the truth is I'm just 107 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:05,640 jealous of her. But a lot of us spend years 108 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,120 wishing that we could have just a weekend like that. 109 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:11,400 And then we finally get it. And within 15 minutes we're 110 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,760 wandering around the house, checking our phone, opening the 111 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:19,840 refrigerator, closing it, opening it again, hoping that 112 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,680 somehow there will be something new in there that wasn't there 5 113 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,680 minutes ago. Checking our emails, walking 114 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,120 into another room and forgetting why we went in there. 115 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:30,880 And then we go back and we remember. 116 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,880 And then we get on Facebook and then we get off of Facebook and 117 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:38,360 we get into TikTok or we check the weather, and we're doing all 118 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:42,120 of this stuff for seemingly no reason whatsoever. 119 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,640 If you were to ask somebody while they're in the middle of 120 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,240 doing that, they probably would just say, oh, I'm just bored. 121 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,120 Maybe we start a project that we never intended to start or that 122 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,080 we should have started. We started with no intention of 123 00:07:56,080 --> 00:08:01,160 finishing it. We finally get that little 124 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,840 period of peace we've been wishing for, and somehow our 125 00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:07,720 mind decides, OK, this is a crisis, we have to fill this 126 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,360 with other things. Nothing is wrong, but our mind 127 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:13,920 is determined to find something to fix. 128 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:20,120 And I think that's because the mind often prefers movement over 129 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:25,280 stillness, not because movement is is always wise or skillful 130 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:30,240 or, or because movement is going to do something that we need 131 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,520 done. It's just that movement feels 132 00:08:32,520 --> 00:08:36,120 very familiar for us. It feels very comfortable for us 133 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:38,080 because we've been doing it our whole lives. 134 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:44,000 The Buddha taught that suffering is pain, but he also taught that 135 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:48,320 pain comes in many different varieties, that it's not just 136 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,840 one thing. And that includes the discomfort 137 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:57,400 of being so accustomed to discomfort that the discomfort 138 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:01,880 free time feels uncomfortable. And that's a very strange thing 139 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:07,160 to wrap your mind around. But sometimes suffering comes 140 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,360 from our inability to stop doing. 141 00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:16,520 And especially in America, I think our culture kind of, we 142 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:20,240 were talking about some of this earlier, but our culture teaches 143 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,720 us our whole lives that if we're not improving, we're falling 144 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:25,840 behind. If we're not busy, we're lazy. 145 00:09:25,840 --> 00:09:29,440 If we're not solving some problem, then we're wasting our 146 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:33,480 lives or our time. And eventually stillness itself 147 00:09:34,280 --> 00:09:40,000 begins to feel uncomfortable. And it's not that anything's 148 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,640 wrong when we feel that way or or whatever. 149 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:46,040 It's just that we, we aren't used to it and we don't know 150 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:50,840 what it feels like to do that, to be still and sit and our mind 151 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,960 tries to fill that void. One of the five hindrances that 152 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:58,000 the Buddha said get in the way of practice. 153 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,680 These are five things that the Buddha said when they show up, 154 00:10:01,680 --> 00:10:04,600 they're dangerous because they could stop you from practicing. 155 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:13,760 And, and, and one of those five hindrances was restlessness and 156 00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:16,040 worry. And if you notice, he doesn't 157 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:19,200 identify them as problems because they make us less 158 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,320 productive. He identifies them as 159 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,040 hindrances. They're not problems. 160 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:25,720 They're just things that get in the way. 161 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:29,800 And by getting in the way, they keep the mind from becoming 162 00:10:29,800 --> 00:10:34,800 settled enough to see clearly with, with some awareness, 163 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:39,640 whatever our present moment is. I went over a SUTA today in a 164 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,320 study time with a a a friend of mine. 165 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:46,440 We went over Majima Nakaya 20, which is called the English 166 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:50,040 translation for that is called the relaxation of thoughts. 167 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:54,160 And that sounds really nice, but but the SUTA talks about how 168 00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,880 just because a thought shows up in our mind doesn't mean that we 169 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:02,600 have to go along with it. Imagine you finally get an hour 170 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:04,960 where you don't have anything at all that you have to do. 171 00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:07,880 You're just going to sit down with a cup of coffee and a book 172 00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:12,520 and maybe within 30 seconds your mind says, oh, you need to check 173 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:15,400 your emails. You forgot to take the trash 174 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,640 out. Today's tomorrow's trash day. 175 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,520 You got to take the trash, put it out by the street tonight. 176 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,000 You need to check the news and see if we naked anybody today or 177 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,960 you've got to be doing something productive. 178 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:31,120 Your brain tries to tell you. Now, by the way, the things that 179 00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,160 we do to be productive are usually not productive at all, 180 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:40,440 just further wastes of time. But most of us assume that our 181 00:11:40,440 --> 00:11:43,320 thoughts are wisdom like, oh, you need to check your e-mail. 182 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:44,880 Oh, you need to take the trash out. 183 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:47,560 These are productive things. They're they're they're 184 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:51,520 intelligent, wisdom based things that our brain is telling us to 185 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,360 do. So it must be wisdom, but the 186 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,960 Buddha says that it's not. It's they're just simply 187 00:11:55,960 --> 00:11:58,120 thoughts. They're not good or bad 188 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:00,000 necessarily. They're just thoughts that 189 00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,200 arise. We've kind of talked about that 190 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:06,280 in the last talk. Some of those thoughts are 191 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,600 helpful and some of them are definitely not. 192 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:13,560 Our job is to learn the difference between the two and 193 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:19,000 just pay attention to that. My, my daughter recently 194 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:23,760 described very vividly to me when she was talking about that 195 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,520 she was in a book slump. And if you're a, if you're a 196 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,840 bookish person, you know what a book slump is. 197 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,800 Bookish people get in these book slumps where they just can't 198 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,360 seem to find a book they enjoy reading. 199 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,440 And so everything they try is just not doing it and, and they 200 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,960 feel like, and it can turn into a months long things sometimes 201 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:44,040 for people. So everybody worries a lot about 202 00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:47,080 that. And she told me she was in a 203 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:50,040 book slump, but what I had seen was her reading every day. 204 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,120 And I said, what do you mean when you say a book slump? 205 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,920 Like, I know what I think it means, but what do you mean by 206 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:58,600 that? And she very, very clearly told 207 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:04,080 me it's when I read a chapter. And a few minutes into that, I 208 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:08,160 feel this like strong urge that I have to check my phone. 209 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:12,560 So I pick up my phone, I check my messages and after that I pop 210 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:16,080 into Instagram and I go through that, I look at some reels and 211 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,200 then I go into Snapchat and just goes on and on and on. 212 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:23,520 And she forgets that she's quote UN quote supposed to be reading. 213 00:13:23,960 --> 00:13:28,080 So I said to her, I said, that's not a book slump, that's phone 214 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,960 addiction. We all do it. 215 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:31,720 I do it as well. Should be clear. 216 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,880 But like a book slump is kind of like when you're just not 217 00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:41,640 motivated to read. She's very, very motivated to 218 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:47,000 read right now, but her mind keeps telling her to pick up her 219 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,600 phone. That's just phone addiction. 220 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:52,280 We talked a bit about the difference in that and and she 221 00:13:52,280 --> 00:13:55,200 was like, yeah, I know. And she's she sees that. 222 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:59,160 That's true. But I tried to give her some 223 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:03,360 comfort and say, like, that's unfortunate, Like it's no fun to 224 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:07,040 be in that mode. But also it's kind of the 225 00:14:07,040 --> 00:14:09,160 default nature of the human mind. 226 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:12,760 If we didn't even have smartphones with TikTok and all 227 00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:15,840 of that, if we didn't have smartphones, we'd still be doing 228 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:17,320 it. It'd just be something else. 229 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:19,400 So we'd be, we'd be doing something else. 230 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:24,520 We are already hardwired from prehistoric times to be 231 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:29,680 uncomfortable with boredom and the mind tries really hard to 232 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:34,160 keep us engaged in time. We slow down even if that's not 233 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,800 what's best for us because it doesn't know that that's not 234 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:40,400 better for us. It's not some kind of evil 235 00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,920 thing. It's it's just the mind doing 236 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:46,360 what the mind does, trying to get us to to stay busy. 237 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:53,760 But then you add on top of that, not even millennia, but millions 238 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:58,720 of year old instruction from our mind or or habit I guess would 239 00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:00,560 be a better way to say it of the mind. 240 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:05,120 You add on top of that a, a, a supercomputer in your pocket 241 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:10,160 that's 1000% designed and populated with software that is 242 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:14,560 entirely meant to keep you coming back as often as possible 243 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:17,200 and have your eyes fixed on that screen. 244 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:26,120 And when you take that human nature with that corporate greed 245 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,840 and you combine it together, it becomes a very, very dangerous 246 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:34,960 combination where they now say that. 247 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:43,000 Just the other day I saw an article that said phone usage is 248 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:47,480 a major factor, not a minor factor, a major factor in 249 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,920 population decline in the coming decades, because it already is. 250 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:53,880 But it's going to be worse in the coming decades. 251 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,960 And I didn't even read it to find out why, because I already 252 00:15:58,960 --> 00:16:01,200 know why it's not going to tell me anything I don't know 253 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:02,680 already. I didn't read it. 254 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,560 I just went, Yep, I that sounds right. 255 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:15,280 And, and I put my phone down and it's, it's really like, it's, 256 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:18,200 it's funny in a way that's not funny at all. 257 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:22,800 But it's it's really quite serious that this Asuta Majuma 258 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:28,520 Nakaya 20 that gives us practical ways to stop feeding 259 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,160 the thoughts that pull us away from our peace. 260 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:36,120 So that when the mind says you should really be doing something 261 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,920 full stop, something you should be doing something. 262 00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:44,040 The practice isn't to automatically obey our minds. 263 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,600 And for a lot of people, that's the first time that they feel 264 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:52,480 freedom and peace for real is when they stop doing everything 265 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,640 their mind tells them to do. I, I, I tell the story all the 266 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,160 time about one of my former teachers who was a criminal as a 267 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:07,119 kid. And he, he said that when he was 268 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:10,560 on the verge of going to prison, Luckily for him, he didn't. 269 00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:13,880 But when he was about to go to prison and he got his one phone 270 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:19,800 call with his dad, who was a Buddhist teacher, his dad walked 271 00:17:19,800 --> 00:17:22,000 him through some mindfulness breathing, which he had always 272 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,359 thought his dad was a hippie and who cares? 273 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,880 I don't, that's BS. But he was so scared. 274 00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,680 He was like, all right, well, I'm in prison, I got nothing 275 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,520 else to do. I might as well try this and see 276 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:35,120 if it helps. And he said just in 60 seconds 277 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:39,280 of breathing with his dad for the first time ever, his literal 278 00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:45,520 first minute of practice with his dad, he said was the very 279 00:17:45,520 --> 00:17:50,920 first time in his 17 years of life at that time that he had 280 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:55,000 ever realized that he didn't have to do the thing that his 281 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:58,880 mind said to do. So when his mind said smash that 282 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:02,240 car window and steal that car stereo, he now understood that 283 00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:03,480 he didn't actually have to do it. 284 00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:06,760 He, he had a choice. Before that, he thought, if my 285 00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,800 mind says do something, I have to do it. 286 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:12,920 And there's a that sounds ridiculous, but there's a lot of 287 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:17,280 people in the world who really believe that I am my mind, 288 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,000 whatever my mind says, I have to do because that's who I am. 289 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:26,520 It's it's what I am. So we don't have to 290 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:29,560 automatically obey it according to the suit of the practice is 291 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:34,400 to pause and ask ourselves, does following this thought lead me 292 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:37,360 toward peace or away from it? And that's all there is to it. 293 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:41,680 If it leads away from peace, you don't have to keep following it. 294 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,800 You can just let it go and you can return to the present 295 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:49,920 moment. And that's really the connection 296 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,760 to tonight's talk to some. Sometimes we use our time 297 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:57,800 wisely. But sometimes using our time 298 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,920 wisely doesn't mean that we have to listen to all those thoughts 299 00:19:00,920 --> 00:19:03,520 that tell us to stay busy. Sometimes the wisest thing we 300 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:07,160 can do is recognize that the thought itself is the thing 301 00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:11,120 that's disturbing our peace and we can simply not pick it up. 302 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:14,400 We don't have to go just because we were invited to the party. 303 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:23,120 If you're if you're standing by a lake and the wind is blowing 304 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,880 and the water is constantly moving and the lake is clear as 305 00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,120 a bell, you can see all the way to the bottom of the lake. 306 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:34,120 When the wind is blowing across the the water, you can't see the 307 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:36,480 bottom. During that time it disappears. 308 00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:41,000 And the mind works the same way when it's constantly stirred by 309 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:45,800 planning and thinking and doing and telling us to do and all of 310 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,720 those things. Remembering and worrying and 311 00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:51,840 optimizing, fixing things and comparing ourselves to other 312 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,160 things. We are no longer able to see to 313 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,120 the bottom and see what's the wise thing to do. 314 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:02,360 Not because that reality has changed at all, but because the 315 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:04,680 surface of our mind never settles down. 316 00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:09,640 It's choppy and. That's one of the reasons that I 317 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:13,440 love the instructions in the Satya Patana Suta when when they 318 00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:17,360 say when the mind is restless. The Buddha says that a restless 319 00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:19,840 mind is is just known as a restless mind. 320 00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,800 In other words, having a restless mind, know that your 321 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,240 mind is restless. He doesn't say jump in and fix 322 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:29,760 it or feel guilty about it or get up and do something. 323 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,960 He doesn't say that we are failures at meditating. 324 00:20:33,240 --> 00:20:36,960 He says just understand and know that that's what the mind does 325 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:43,840 when the mind is agitated. And because awareness comes 326 00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:48,840 before wisdom, if we can't recognize restlessness, then 327 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:51,760 we're going to simply obey it. That was the thing with the 328 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:54,560 teacher who was a kid stealing car stereos. 329 00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:58,480 He didn't know that if he waited a second, his mind would just 330 00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:01,600 let go of that idea. He thought, OK, I got to do 331 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:05,560 this, and he just did it. And restlessness is a very 332 00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,720 sneaky thing. All of the hindrances, the 333 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:11,520 Buddha said, were dangerous. The most dangerous 1, he said, 334 00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,840 was doubt, because if we doubt that the practice even works, we 335 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,200 might go away from the practice and never come back. 336 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,200 So he said that one was the most dangerous. 337 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,680 But restlessness is also very dangerous. 338 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,440 It like creeps in and it doesn't. 339 00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:32,200 It doesn't walk in the door and go, hey, it's restlessness. 340 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,080 I'm here to save the day. It just kind of sneaks into our 341 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:39,440 mind very calmly and quietly and starts giving us little whispers 342 00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,400 saying, hey, you should, you should get up and eat a 343 00:21:42,400 --> 00:21:44,240 chocolate chip cookie right now. That'd be cool. 344 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:49,480 It does stuff like that. And some of those things, they 345 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:52,440 might show up and, and sort of say, oh, you, you should answer 346 00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:54,440 one more e-mail before you leave today. 347 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,720 You should clean out that closet that's been sitting there 348 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,080 forever. Make better use of your time. 349 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,920 That's just a broad one that we fall for. 350 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:08,240 Read another Dharma book or meditate or do something 351 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:14,760 productive, and sometimes some of those things are wonderful 352 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,000 things to do with your time. It's not that they're bad 353 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,480 things. It's not that they're things 354 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:22,040 that we shouldn't do or can't do or don't want to do or whatever. 355 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,480 The thing is, the question is not really about whether it's 356 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:29,360 even wholesome or not, although that's useful to pay attention 357 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:32,320 to for sure, is whether it leads to happiness or away from it. 358 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:38,880 But the real question is why? Am I acting from a place of 359 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:42,480 wisdom or am I trying to outrun my discomfort? 360 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:50,400 And the Buddha in this data of Itaka Suta, he said that before 361 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:53,880 his awakening, he began dividing his thoughts into two 362 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:57,360 categories. Now the first time I read it, it 363 00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:59,600 didn't sink in with me. Actually, probably not the first 364 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,320 several times, but eventually I went home. 365 00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:05,760 This is what I loved about the Dharma when I very first read 366 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,600 it. You guys have probably all heard 367 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,000 me tell the story of recognizing the fact that the Buddha was a 368 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:14,840 tech support guy basically. And one of the reasons was the 369 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,200 four noble truths. And one of the reasons I, I said 370 00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:20,640 that is because what the four noble truths are basically is 371 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:24,960 saying identifying a problem, then finding the root cause of 372 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:28,240 that problem and then identifying a solution and 373 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,040 following the path to that solution. 374 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:33,560 Well, the way that you do that in tech support in the real 375 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:38,240 world, like I do it all day, every day, is somebody calls me 376 00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:41,720 up and they go, hey, I can't download this thing. 377 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,280 And I go, OK, well, try downloading it over here. 378 00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:48,760 And they, they try that. If that works, then that means 379 00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:51,600 the other thing was the problem. If that does not work, then that 380 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,800 means that's not the problem. So it's called splitting the 381 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:57,680 problem in tech support talk. We, we could, we talk all the 382 00:23:57,680 --> 00:24:01,400 time about dividing the problem in half, then whatever that part 383 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,040 is, you divide that in half and then again and again until you 384 00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,600 find the root cause. So that's the first and second 385 00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:08,800 noble truths. And that was what I liked about 386 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:10,800 it so much. So that's really what he's doing 387 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:14,440 here is he said, when I have a thought in the mind that tells 388 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,560 me to do something, I'm going to take that thought. 389 00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,880 I'm going to say, does it lead toward happiness or does it lead 390 00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,160 away from happiness? And then I'll figure it out. 391 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:24,880 Now that I've got that, I can decide more information about 392 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,840 that as I go forward and, and continue dividing that. 393 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,320 And he wasn't asking like, are these efficient thoughts? 394 00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:34,720 Are these productive thoughts? Is this the most successful 395 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:36,760 thing for me as the Buddha to do? 396 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,800 He was just saying, where does this thought lead? 397 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:43,200 And then when I follow it, then I can learn more about that. 398 00:24:43,240 --> 00:24:44,720 But I definitely don't want to go that way. 399 00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:48,520 So if it's if it's, if it's going that way, I will not do 400 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,040 it. If it's going this way, I will 401 00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,920 do it. And then from there, learning 402 00:24:51,920 --> 00:24:54,640 beyond that. And so that's it. 403 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:57,040 He was just asking like, where do these thoughts lead? 404 00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,320 And that's a great question for us to ask ourselves. 405 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,680 Where does this impulse that I have lead? 406 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:08,120 Does it lead toward peace or does it lead further from peace? 407 00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:12,200 And sometimes our busyness is compassionate. 408 00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:14,440 Sometimes we're doing things that are very compassionate. 409 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:17,680 Sometimes the things that our mind is telling us to do are 410 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:21,360 very good, necessary, beneficial things. 411 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:25,520 And your discernment and your understanding of your situation 412 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:30,080 and things like that, which is discernment is, is just telling 413 00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:33,920 you or giving you helping you with the information of should I 414 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,640 actually do this thing? So the first thing is sort of 415 00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,920 figuring out, OK, which way does it lead? 416 00:25:39,160 --> 00:25:40,800 All right. And then do I want to do it? 417 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:48,640 So it's it's very helpful. And sometimes the, the thing, 418 00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:53,480 the question will give you the answer that you're just avoiding 419 00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,800 being alone with yourself or you're avoiding having down 420 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:59,800 time. And I think many of us, and The 421 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,920 funny thing is when you tell people this, a lot of times 422 00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,720 they're, they scoff at this because they're like, I would 423 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,240 love to have some down time. That's not true. 424 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,080 But the bad news for them is that it is true. 425 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:15,040 They would have to practice that to find out. 426 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:19,520 But it, it very much is, we often think, Oh no, if I had 427 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,320 downtime, I would definitely use it. 428 00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,480 But the truth is, as soon as we get that downtime, like we said, 429 00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:28,840 you start figuring out ways to occupy it, right? 430 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,240 How often do you just go out on the front porch and sit down and 431 00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:36,080 just enjoy yourself and just just be there and do that? 432 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,480 Hopefully you do it a lot in this room. 433 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:42,160 Maybe that's true out there in the world. 434 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:48,160 Not a lot of people do Usually it it, it turns into some sort 435 00:26:48,160 --> 00:26:54,440 of becoming what we call Baba and, and a lot of people are 436 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,640 addicted to this becoming what the Buddha called Baba. 437 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:04,480 It's where we're we're always trying to become something else. 438 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,960 We're always like, this isn't good enough. 439 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:10,560 I need to be that I need to be a better employee and get a 440 00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:12,760 promotion. I need to be a better spouse and 441 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,840 do date night. So I need to be a better parent. 442 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:19,680 And I don't, I don't know, be a better Buddhist or meditator, a 443 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:23,080 better version of whatever it is that we are or whatever it is we 444 00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:27,080 think we're not. And growth like that. 445 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,560 If if, if you're growing in that way, in any of those ways. 446 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:34,080 Growth is a beautiful thing And, and practice is beautiful and 447 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,000 learning is beautiful. The problem is not whether or 448 00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:39,720 not you grow. The problem is believing that 449 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:41,840 I'm going to be OK if I just do that. 450 00:27:43,360 --> 00:27:45,720 Once I retire, everything's going to be great. 451 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,320 Once I lose that weight, I'm going to be so happy. 452 00:27:48,600 --> 00:27:50,600 If I get healthier, I'll live longer. 453 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,440 Once the kids move out, I'm going to have so much free time 454 00:27:53,440 --> 00:27:56,640 and I'll be able to do all the things I never did once I finish 455 00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:02,160 this project and I can finally use that junk room that I have 456 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:08,320 as a actual office or whatever. Once I understand the Dhamma 457 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,560 better, then I can be enlightened. 458 00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:14,680 And boy, let me tell you, there's a lot of Buddhists who 459 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:18,400 fall into that trap of, of thinking one of one of the 460 00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:21,440 things you see in in the dama is sometimes people have a great 461 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:25,520 meditation experience, some, some moment of awakening or 462 00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:27,840 whatever you call it. And, and they spend the next 20 463 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,840 years chasing after trying to repeat that thing that they had. 464 00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:34,120 It was so good, man. I had three days where I felt 465 00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:37,840 like I was just, I was fully connected to the world and 466 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,560 everything was great. And they spend the next decades 467 00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,640 trying to reproduce that. I am so grateful that I had 468 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:47,280 great teachers that taught me that that's no big deal. 469 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,800 When that happens, it's just a thing that happens. 470 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:51,920 Don't spend your time trying to chase it. 471 00:28:51,920 --> 00:28:55,160 And thankfully I listened to them because they were very wise 472 00:28:55,160 --> 00:29:02,520 to tell me that the problem is that when, when the next thing 473 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:06,600 is the thing that's going to make you happy, the, the, the 474 00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,520 goal post keeps moving every time you achieve that thing. 475 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,560 Oh, now I have to do that thing. I already, I had a whole 476 00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,120 conversation with my daughter who's about to go the way to the 477 00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:19,600 Disney program. I had a whole conversation with 478 00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:22,440 her of like, of like, look, that's all you're thinking about 479 00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:24,440 is how happy you're going to be when you get there. 480 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:27,000 And that's great. Don't, don't change that. 481 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,600 Be look forward to it. Be as happy as you want to be. 482 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:35,400 But when you get there fully enjoy every moment of that 483 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:39,520 because you have 6 to 12 months and then it's over forever. 484 00:29:39,720 --> 00:29:41,400 You can, you can't go do it again. 485 00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:43,840 You can do other things which can't do that again. 486 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:48,840 And I said, if she's been spending the last six months 487 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,960 putting all of her energy into making that be everything it can 488 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,360 be, which is great. That's good, productive use of 489 00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,640 time, as we said earlier. But I keep trying to tell her, 490 00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,160 you're, you're on summer break right now. 491 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:05,560 Enjoy your summer break, get those things done, but also 492 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:09,240 enjoy your summer break. And she is. 493 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:13,800 But I, I felt like I'd be a bad parent if I didn't say so. 494 00:30:15,520 --> 00:30:21,600 The Buddha was not trying to like create some perfect me or 495 00:30:21,600 --> 00:30:28,320 you. He was just teaching us to find 496 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:33,240 freedom by letting go of clinging even to the project of 497 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,320 constantly reinventing ourselves. 498 00:30:35,600 --> 00:30:40,720 And I've started noticing through that practice early on 499 00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,800 that sometimes people don't just become accustomed to suffering, 500 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:48,080 they become accustomed to solving suffering. 501 00:30:48,080 --> 00:30:52,280 Like one of the problems you see in practitioners is Buddhism 502 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,880 becomes just another self help program or another way for them 503 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:59,440 to try and fix themselves instead of just really like 504 00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:02,400 learning to be with themselves. And then the problems go away. 505 00:31:02,720 --> 00:31:06,280 A lot of the problems that we suffer from go away when we just 506 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,640 pay attention to them. That's not a fix all, it's not a 507 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:14,080 cure all, but it's true. For years and maybe decades even 508 00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:18,480 life for me felt like one challenge after another, one 509 00:31:18,480 --> 00:31:22,040 deadline after another, one crisis after the next. 510 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:29,720 And eventually, if you don't stop and start to recognize it, 511 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:32,720 then that becomes who you are. It becomes your identity. 512 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,240 And then when things finally calm down and quiet down, we 513 00:31:36,240 --> 00:31:37,600 don't know what to do with ourselves. 514 00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:45,120 So we sit down and we have a few minutes and we are sitting 515 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,680 there. We're going, oh, this is nice. 516 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:51,280 I'm finally slowing down. Then we start getting suspicious 517 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:52,840 about it and we start going on what? 518 00:31:53,360 --> 00:31:55,480 What did I forget to do? I feel like there's something 519 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:58,120 I'm supposed to be doing. What is it that I'm supposed to 520 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,640 be worried about right now? Or or what project did my wife 521 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,320 tell me to do? What's on my honey do list? 522 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:09,720 And it's not because there's anything like that actually 523 00:32:09,720 --> 00:32:12,120 really happening out there. It's just that we just don't 524 00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:15,480 know what to do with ourselves. So it, it could be maybe one of 525 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:19,040 the strangest things about our practice is that we hope for 526 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:21,040 peace. And then when we finally start 527 00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,960 to feel it, we, we push it away again. 528 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:28,000 And the Buddha said, if you pay attention, then we don't have to 529 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,720 do that. He said one should not chase 530 00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:32,400 after the past ends. In that Suta I mentioned 531 00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:35,320 earlier, he said you shouldn't chase after the past and you 532 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,160 shouldn't put any expectations on the future. 533 00:32:37,160 --> 00:32:39,760 You should just pay attention to the present moment. 534 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:43,480 And and that that's how we can find out that a lot of our free 535 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:47,600 time can be spent right here in the present moment without all 536 00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,440 of those things we think we have to do. 537 00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:55,240 One of the common, this is just a thought I had, but one of the 538 00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:59,480 common things I hear from people as they say in, in in groups 539 00:32:59,520 --> 00:33:07,080 like this, they'll say that. They'll say, oh, well, I need 540 00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:08,920 this or I need that and whatever. 541 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:11,960 And I always tell them, I'm like, if you're sitting here in 542 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:18,080 this space meditating right now, practicing, there is nothing in 543 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:21,960 life that you need right now. There's nothing you need when 544 00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:24,160 you walk out those doors, there might be some things you wish 545 00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:26,440 you had or some some stuff you think you got to do. 546 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:30,600 Maybe some of it's important and you need to do that, but right 547 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,040 here, right now, there's nothing you need. 548 00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:36,480 If you needed something critically right now, like food 549 00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:39,920 or water or oxygen or whatever it is you think you need, you 550 00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,640 would not be sitting still in here for an hour or two doing 551 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,360 practice. You'd be out there trying to get 552 00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:48,720 it. And sometimes people push back 553 00:33:48,720 --> 00:33:51,120 on that idea, but they never succeed. 554 00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,480 Because the truth is, you realize when you start thinking 555 00:33:54,480 --> 00:33:56,920 about it. Oh, yeah, actually, there's a 556 00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:00,800 lot of things I would like right now, but there's nothing I need 557 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:04,680 right this minute or I wouldn't be able to be sitting here just 558 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:08,040 doing whatever this is. We sit here and we replay 559 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:11,520 whatever we did yesterday and we we practice in our mind for 560 00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,320 tomorrow. We try to win those arguments 561 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:18,520 that we lost 10 years ago or 50 years ago or argue with our 562 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:24,120 parents, whatever it is, we plan and forecast and, and meanwhile, 563 00:34:24,120 --> 00:34:27,639 the only place that life actually is happening is right 564 00:34:27,639 --> 00:34:31,159 here in front of us right here, which is, which is tied to that 565 00:34:31,159 --> 00:34:34,320 thing about thinking you need something when really everything 566 00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:40,000 you have is here in this moment. So contentment is what we're 567 00:34:40,239 --> 00:34:44,679 kind of wanting, but it doesn't mean that we're giving something 568 00:34:44,679 --> 00:34:46,480 up. It's, it's not being lazy or 569 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:48,960 complacent. It's just recognizing that this 570 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:52,440 moment doesn't always need to be improved before it can be 571 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:55,360 appreciated. And sometimes that the best 572 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:58,000 thing we can do is just leave this moment alone. 573 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:01,960 Let it be. We don't have to fill it or 574 00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:06,960 analyze it or any of that. And, and, and we don't have to, 575 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:10,280 like I said, I think I said it earlier, is we don't have to go 576 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,920 to every party we're invited to. And that really applies with our 577 00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:19,960 minds. We can just sit and recognize 578 00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:22,560 that this right here, right now is enough. 579 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:26,600 This is all I need right now and that sitting with the thoughts 580 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:30,480 that arise and politely declining all those invitations, 581 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:34,440 that's all we actually need. We just need to do non doing 582 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:37,840 sometimes, not all the time, because then that's just as bad 583 00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:40,640 as doing too much is never doing anything. 584 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,080 And the Buddha said, find the middle path between those 585 00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:51,360 things. Mujima Nakaya 131 says this is a 586 00:35:51,360 --> 00:35:54,440 little suta that says thus I have heard on one occasion the 587 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:57,480 Blessed One was staying in Savati at Gita's Grove and not 588 00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:00,680 Appendicas Monastery. And he addressed the monks, 589 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,800 monks. And they said, yes, Lord. 590 00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:06,800 And he said, I will teach you the summary and exposition of 591 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,120 one who has had an auspicious day. 592 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:12,160 Listen and pay close attention. I will speak. 593 00:36:12,520 --> 00:36:14,680 And they said, as you say, Lord, we'll pay attention. 594 00:36:15,400 --> 00:36:17,880 And he says you shouldn't chase after the past. 595 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:19,680 This is the suit I just quoted a minute ago. 596 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:23,160 You shouldn't chase after the past or place expectations on 597 00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,480 the future. What is past is already left 598 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,840 behind. What is future is as yet 599 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,680 unreached. Whatever quality is present, you 600 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:35,920 clearly see right there, right there, not taken in, unshaken. 601 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,480 That's how you develop the heart. 602 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,560 Ardently. Doing ardently is the keyword 603 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:45,040 doing what should be done today, for who knows, tomorrow, maybe 604 00:36:45,040 --> 00:36:47,440 death. There is no bargaining with 605 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:54,040 mortality and his mighty horde. Whoever lives thus ardently, 606 00:36:54,040 --> 00:36:57,480 relentlessly, both day and night, has truly had an 607 00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,520 auspicious day. So says the peaceful sage. 608 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:04,640 And how monks does 1 chase after the past? 609 00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:09,320 One gets carried away with the delight in oh, in the past I had 610 00:37:09,320 --> 00:37:12,560 such a form or body. In the past I had these 611 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,560 feelings. In the past I had these 612 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:20,280 perceptions in in the past, I had these thought fabrications 613 00:37:20,280 --> 00:37:23,200 and this consciousness. And this is called chasing after 614 00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:25,560 the past. So in other words, he's saying 615 00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:30,760 the five senses were entertained by oh, I used to be in a band. 616 00:37:30,760 --> 00:37:34,480 Oh, I used to have a better body than I have today or whatever it 617 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:39,720 is and dwelling and clinging to that that, oh, I used to have. 618 00:37:40,280 --> 00:37:43,600 And he says, and how does 1 not chase after the past? 619 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,680 One does not get carried away with the delight of in the past 620 00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:51,120 I had such former body feeling, perception, thought, 621 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,720 fabrication, consciousness. And he says, how does one place 622 00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:58,440 expectations on the future? One gets carried away with 623 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,480 delighting in. In the future I might have such 624 00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:04,280 a form or body. In the future, I might have such 625 00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:07,760 a feeling, such a perception, such a thought fabrication, such 626 00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:10,000 a consciousness. This is called placing 627 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:15,360 expectations on the future and says how does 1 not place 628 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:18,080 expectations on the future? 1 does not get carried away with 629 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:21,560 delight in form, feeling, perception, thought, fabrication 630 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:24,200 and consciousness. This is what's called not 631 00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,040 placing expectations on the future. 632 00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,680 And how is 1 taken in with regard to present qualities. 633 00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,160 There is a case where an uninstructed run-of-the-mill 634 00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:38,280 person who has not seen the noble ones, is not versed in the 635 00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,440 teachings of the noble ones, is not trained in the teaching of 636 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:46,040 the noble ones, sees form as self, sees self as possessing 637 00:38:46,040 --> 00:38:50,280 form, or form as in self, or self as in form. 638 00:38:50,920 --> 00:38:56,360 He or she sees feeling as self or self as possessing feeling, 639 00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,240 or feeling as in self or self as in feeling. 640 00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:04,600 And this goes on for possessing perception, possessing thought 641 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,640 fabrications, possessing consciousness, so the same 642 00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:10,240 things. And then it reverses that again. 643 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:16,960 And he says, he says he or she does not see feeling as self or 644 00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:20,120 possessing feeling as self and so on and so forth. 645 00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:24,280 And I'm trying to save you from all the repetitive nature of 646 00:39:24,280 --> 00:39:27,080 this Suta. And he repeats the thing and the 647 00:39:27,080 --> 00:39:29,680 thing he says, he says you shouldn't chase after the past 648 00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:32,040 or place expectations on the future. 649 00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,040 What is past has already been left behind. 650 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:35,920 What is the future is yet unreached. 651 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:39,720 Whatever quality is present, you should clearly see right here, 652 00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:42,800 right here, not taken in unshaken. 653 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:46,800 And that's how you develop the heart ardently doing what should 654 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,320 be done today. For who knows, tomorrow may be 655 00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,400 death. There is no bargaining with 656 00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:54,560 mortality and his mighty whore. Whoever lives thus ardently, 657 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:57,480 relentlessly, both day and night, has truly had an 658 00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:01,000 auspicious day. So says the peaceful sage, and. 659 00:40:01,560 --> 00:40:04,080 That is what was said by the Blessed 1 and gratified the 660 00:40:04,080 --> 00:40:06,440 monks delighted in the Blessed One's words. 661 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:09,200 So that's that Suta. And if it sounds familiar, it's 662 00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,880 because you've probably seen a million different versions of 663 00:40:11,880 --> 00:40:15,560 that on the Internet in little memes of quoting the Buddha 664 00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:19,440 where he says the past is already gone, the future is not 665 00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,680 promised. The present moment is a gift and 666 00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:26,880 all of that, which are just different ways of trying to say 667 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:32,480 that simpler or prettier. So I'll I'll start wrapping this 668 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,520 up here, but I just want to leave us with like a practice 669 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:39,120 that you can take into the week. The next time that you have 15 670 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:44,240 or 20 minutes where you're not doing anything, try your best 671 00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:48,280 not to reach for your phone. Don't immediately make another 672 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:50,240 To Do List. Don't feel compelled to 673 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:52,960 accomplish something. Or if you feel compelled to do 674 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:55,880 those things, then just notice it and don't do it. 675 00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:59,120 Just sit there, drink your coffee or your tea and watch the 676 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:02,720 birds in your front yard and feel your breathing and notice 677 00:41:02,720 --> 00:41:06,280 whatever sounds are around you. Notice the body sitting in the 678 00:41:06,280 --> 00:41:09,440 chair and notice that you don't need any of that either, but 679 00:41:09,440 --> 00:41:11,600 that it's very nice to sit there and enjoy it. 680 00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:13,600 And then watch whatever happens with the mind. 681 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,320 Watch how quickly the mind will start negotiating with you. 682 00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:18,280 Like, all right, it's been 10 minutes. 683 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,080 I how many different birds can I possibly hear in 10? 684 00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:24,120 Another 10 minutes and I should really, if, if I don't get up 685 00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,440 and get started now, I'm not going to finish and da, da, da, 686 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:30,080 da, the mind goes on. And just when that happens, 687 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:33,320 because it will smile at yourself with that. 688 00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:37,680 Don't criticize yourself for it. Or if you do notice that and 689 00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,440 just notice that you've been caught, you've, you've caught 690 00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:43,240 your mind in the middle of the ACT. 691 00:41:43,240 --> 00:41:47,040 So you've, you've seen craving happening in real time. 692 00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:50,640 That's a that's a hell of a accomplishment to be able to see 693 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:55,360 craving happening in real time and choose not to get involved 694 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,160 with it because you do have that choice. 695 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:00,320 You have to be able to see it. If you can't see it, then you're 696 00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:02,080 just going to be caught in that story. 697 00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,440 But if you can just get that little space there, then you can 698 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:07,600 go, oh, you know what? I'm not going to get up. 699 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,000 I'm going to stay here for another 10 minutes or whatever. 700 00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,800 And that's a beautiful moment of mindfulness if you can 701 00:42:15,800 --> 00:42:18,640 experience that. And when I began tonight, I said 702 00:42:18,640 --> 00:42:22,120 that I wanted to, I was talking about using the extra time 703 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:24,760 wisely that I have while my daughter is away. 704 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:29,000 And maybe a lot of us hear that phrase and we think about having 705 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,400 to accomplish more, cross things off a list and be productive. 706 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,680 But sometimes that's good stuff to do. 707 00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:39,120 Those are good things to also do, but sometimes the good thing 708 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,840 to do is just take your time and enjoy yourself. 709 00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:44,120 Read, read a book or just don't read a book. 710 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:50,040 Just stare at the the weird bug crawling on the railing in front 711 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:53,240 of you or whatever it is. And it doesn't matter how 712 00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:56,800 efficient we become or how organized we are or what we 713 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,480 accomplish, we can't manufacture. 714 00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,680 None of us, nobody in here, nobody you've ever met, nobody 715 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:08,680 you ever will meet is capable of creating an additional moment of 716 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:12,000 life that you have, however much you have. 717 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,320 And that's all you have. Time. 718 00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,520 I was telling somebody the other day, the older I get, the more I 719 00:43:17,520 --> 00:43:22,160 realized that time is the thing I wish I had the most. 720 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,800 I wish I could. I don't care if I win the 721 00:43:24,800 --> 00:43:27,800 lottery. I just wish I had, or I just 722 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:31,840 hope I have all the time that I can possibly get, which we all 723 00:43:31,840 --> 00:43:33,400 do. We all have all the time we can 724 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,280 possibly get. We just wish that it was more. 725 00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,040 So. Life is uncertain. 726 00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:43,840 But maybe if we use our time wisely, fully inhabiting this 727 00:43:43,840 --> 00:43:49,120 present moment, then we have, like I said, everything that we 728 00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:53,480 need right here and right now. So that's it, Have a good week. 729 00:43:53,480 --> 00:46:18,160 Thank you for being here. You're still here. 730 00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:21,520 It's over. Go. 731 00:46:21,520 --> 00:46:24,080 Practice. Go.