1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,640 All right, so you've got one emergency. 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:06,360 All right, got it covered. 2:00 that becomes stressful 5 3 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:09,240 back-to-back and suddenly your nervous system is like, I'm out 4 00:00:09,240 --> 00:00:10,640 of here. I'm not doing this. 5 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:15,280 So maybe it is a car repair, a medical bill, or maybe you've 6 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,680 had to miss work. One of your appliances decides, 7 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:22,160 OK, I'm done or you have what happens to us often your kiddo 8 00:00:22,160 --> 00:00:26,200 gets sick and you just have to say, you know what, being a 9 00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:30,360 parent raising kids in today's world is a different emotional 10 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:33,120 weight. But also if you have ADHD, then 11 00:00:33,120 --> 00:00:36,760 you're also not only do all of those things cause some 12 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,000 additional stress, not just the financial part, but the 13 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,640 emotional side too. Because if we're managing ADHD 14 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:47,880 symptoms and also family life and work and all the things, 15 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,120 carrying families financial responsibilities on top of that 16 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:53,680 can be very taxing. So today we're going to be 17 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:58,240 talking about what happens if life likes you real hard and you 18 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:01,400 have to dip into your emergency fund numerous times throughout 19 00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,160 the month. How do you rebuild after those 20 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,760 hits keep coming? How do you recover without 21 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,480 feeling shame? And why the perfect emergency 22 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,360 fund advice might not work for you and your family. 23 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,840 All right, welcome to today's episode, Debt Rebel. 24 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:17,800 I am so glad that you're here. And I want to say a special 25 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,120 hello and welcome to Carrie and Amanda. 26 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,120 Thank you for joining the Debt Rebel community and jumping on 27 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:27,200 my website and filling out some info so that you can get some 28 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,880 exclusive content. So, so glad that you're a part 29 00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,920 of our community. So today we are talking about 30 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:38,200 when emergencies come up and it can feel super defeating, right 31 00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,920 Then it's not just one thing. And they just keep coming. 32 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,480 So what's the point in saving if this if it just keeps 33 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,120 disappearing, right? So this is sometimes things that 34 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,240 we can hear when we're talking about finances and setting up 35 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,720 emergency funds because when our emergency funds are getting 36 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,040 drained that we can feel emotionally exhausted because we 37 00:01:58,040 --> 00:02:01,880 struggle with discouragement, all or nothing thinking or maybe 38 00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:04,600 we just avoid our finances after setbacks. 39 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:08,120 And you know what, those things are all normal things, and 40 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,360 especially with an ADHD brain, because our brains want to 41 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:15,440 protect us and from from anything that it perceives as a 42 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,880 threat. So but I want you to hear me say 43 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,120 using your emergency fund is absolutely not failure. 44 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,160 And you know what? That's literally its job. 45 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,160 That's its whole purpose for being. 46 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:28,400 So you didn't fail because your emergency fund got used. 47 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,880 You succeeded because debt wasn't your only option. 48 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,960 And that's what this show is all about is not creating additional 49 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,320 debt for you and getting out of debt because I have seen for 50 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:43,920 myself and my family, but also for my clients, the level of 51 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:48,680 relief and joy when you have less debt or no debt, how much 52 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:51,440 it contributes to your life positively. 53 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,480 Financial resilience is not about never getting hit. 54 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:57,680 It's being able to recover faster when it does because we 55 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,160 know life is going to happen. We are raising kids. 56 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:03,880 Kids can be expensive sometimes, but things can come up that we 57 00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,560 just cannot predict. We know emergencies are going to 58 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,280 happen. We don't necessarily know when 59 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:10,600 they're going to happen. So first thing I want to talk 60 00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:13,080 about is this whole perfect emergency fund thing. 61 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:17,280 Perfection is for me, it is I, I would say I used to be a 62 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:20,960 perfectionist and since I got diagnosed, it all makes sense 63 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:25,160 now why I had this all or nothing feeling or thinking that 64 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,080 it had to be perfect or what was the point of doing it at all. 65 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:32,960 And since I've had some training and some knowledge around that, 66 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,560 it's given me an opportunity to say, you know what? 67 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,680 There is no such thing as perfection. 68 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,880 It is such a, it is such a fib. It's such a lot. 69 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:42,960 It is not. It's not our thing. 70 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,120 That's what I think. I'd love to hear what you think. 71 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:49,960 But a lot of Internet advice or, you know, financial gurus will 72 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:53,360 say like we need to have three to six months savings. 73 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:55,480 And yes, that is absolutely a goal. 74 00:03:55,480 --> 00:03:57,520 But you have to start somewhere, right? 75 00:03:57,800 --> 00:04:00,680 Because when we don't start somewhere, we're never going to 76 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,000 be able to get ahead because we're constantly, it's like 77 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,160 swimming in quicksand. The families that I work with 78 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,960 are often rebuilding. Maybe we're trying to survive 79 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,000 inflation. Right now, as I'm recording this 80 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,160 episode, I am going to have to go fill. 81 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:16,000 I filled up my husband's truck and I'm about to fill up my car 82 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,640 and it's almost $6 a gallon for gas. 83 00:04:18,680 --> 00:04:21,880 We're managing child care costs. We're navigating maybe 84 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,360 inconsistent income or you're healing from past financial 85 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,040 mistakes and getting control of those so that you can move 86 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,520 forward. So I want you to hear me say 87 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,600 that a partially funded emergency fund is still 88 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:36,440 protection. Whether you have $300 saved, 89 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,720 maybe that's to cover a deductible for something. 90 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,600 Maybe you have $1000 saved so that you don't have to put 91 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,320 something on a credit card when life happens, those small 92 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,280 cushions still reduce the panic and give you the ease that your 93 00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:51,120 brain needs. So progress does not mean that 94 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:53,560 it is meaningless if it wasn't perfect. 95 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,080 All right, so, So what are some practical ways that you can 96 00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,880 rebuild after some of these financial hits, right? 97 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:04,840 So something that, like I said before, start small, smaller 98 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:07,840 than your brain wants to. Maybe it's tiny automatic 99 00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:11,040 transfers to that savings account for your that emergency 100 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:14,960 fund and it's focusing on momentum, not intensity. 101 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,440 But one thing that has helped for us is to keep certain 102 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:25,600 emergency categories separated. And so for instance, like cars, 103 00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,520 that is something that we've we've talked about this a lot in 104 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:32,440 the membership lightly to car expenses are a thing that come 105 00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:34,120 up. You cannot predict them. 106 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:36,520 You can still, you know, do your regular maintenance and a lot of 107 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,760 stuff, but things just happen. Cars breakdown whether they are 108 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:44,720 newer or they're super old in between cars breakdown, so 109 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,760 having some additional funds set aside for those car repairs is 110 00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,400 important. Medical expenses. 111 00:05:50,440 --> 00:05:55,000 Also having kids, sometimes you know what you have to go to the 112 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:57,520 emergency room and there's and there might be a co-pay involved 113 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,360 with that. Maybe you've got pets and 114 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,080 there's some additional expenses there, or maybe you've got some 115 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:04,520 irregular bills and we'll talk about that in a future episode. 116 00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:08,120 But some of these things you might have to separate out from 117 00:06:08,160 --> 00:06:11,440 your regular emergency fund. If you're in your debt 118 00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:14,720 elimination journey and you're trying to pay off debt, but your 119 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:20,120 job, you need a car to you need a car for your to get to and 120 00:06:20,120 --> 00:06:22,880 from work, or maybe your car is your work, then that you want to 121 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,680 to make sure you have an emergency fund set up for those 122 00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:27,920 car repairs. Now, if you're like myself and 123 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:30,720 I'm remote, I got to make sure that my Internet is always paid. 124 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:34,880 So I might not have as big of a car car repair fund as someone 125 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,480 that uses our for transportation to and from work. 126 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:41,320 All right, so let's talk about how we can reduce decision 127 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:44,800 fatigue. So some of these things are to 128 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,000 automate our savings, simplify our budget categories and 129 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,960 creating these once a week money check insurance with ourselves, 130 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,720 build these recovery systems. So what? 131 00:06:53,840 --> 00:06:56,640 So some questions that you can ask yourself when you're 132 00:06:56,640 --> 00:07:00,240 rebuilding your emergency fund is what has helped us survive 133 00:07:00,240 --> 00:07:04,040 this season, What has made things harder and what can we 134 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,680 simplify moving forward? So sometimes that is looking at 135 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:11,120 your your expenses and seeing, OK, you know what, there's 136 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:14,120 things in here that weren't helping us rebuild our emergency 137 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,040 fund right now. We can hold off on them. 138 00:07:16,040 --> 00:07:18,680 Or maybe there are things that are like, you know what, this 139 00:07:18,720 --> 00:07:22,040 was the thing that helped us get through this season, then we 140 00:07:22,040 --> 00:07:24,240 absolutely needed it. Hold on to that. 141 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:27,480 Because when we look through those and we go through that 142 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:31,040 weekly money checking, we can stay on top of things and so 143 00:07:31,040 --> 00:07:34,120 that we can rebuild those emergency funds faster than if 144 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:36,680 we were doing, you know, maybe once a month check insurance. 145 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,600 But what I want you to hear me say too is you don't need to 146 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,040 rebuild everything immediately, OK? 147 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:45,240 So sometimes, you know what it's going to happen that, you know, 148 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,640 you pull out of your emergency fund and maybe you're down $500. 149 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:50,560 It doesn't mean that it's a failure. 150 00:07:50,680 --> 00:07:52,600 It is absolutely what it's there for. 151 00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:55,720 So that you can, that's when you will pause your debt snowball 152 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:58,480 and go back to refilling that up until it's to that level, 153 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:01,680 whether it's $1000 for what you've already established is 154 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,640 best for you and your family because personal finance is just 155 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:09,640 that it's personal. So sometimes $1000, that's the 156 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:13,600 that's kind of the general rule. But depending on your situation, 157 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,840 good. You can evaluate that. 158 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:19,920 If you want to pick my brain and ask me that question personally, 159 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,000 I have some sessions available. They are free sessions. 160 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:26,960 They're quick 15 minute ones called Borrow my brain Sessions. 161 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,160 And I'm going to put that info in the show notes so that you 162 00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:32,720 can ask me and we will brainstorm what works best for 163 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:35,280 you and your family as far as that emergency fund goes. 164 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,520 But I want you to hear me say you don't have to build 165 00:08:37,520 --> 00:08:40,039 everything immediately. So even though you took that 166 00:08:40,039 --> 00:08:42,320 money out, we're going to replenish it and we're going to 167 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:47,320 go back to survival mode and seeing where things are and what 168 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,560 you can free up, what needs to stay in your budget so that you 169 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:53,080 can rebuild that. Because those recovery systems 170 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:56,640 matter more than motivation. And creating that consistency 171 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:59,800 will beat this financial perfection every single time. 172 00:08:59,880 --> 00:09:03,200 So when we have financial stress, it can look different 173 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:07,960 than a neurotypical person. So financial stress can impact 174 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,640 us neurodivergent people in a more intense way. 175 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:15,200 So our nervous system can get out of regulation, it can 176 00:09:15,280 --> 00:09:18,320 challenge our relationships, maybe our parenting, our 177 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:23,000 decision making, because that stress is is creating those that 178 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,640 environment for ourselves. And so that's sometimes where is 179 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,400 shame and can enter that picture where it can cause us to hide or 180 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:33,200 maybe avoid the situation or we go to the opposite and we go 181 00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:36,480 into these impulse controlling coping behaviors. 182 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:39,200 So that is just information, right? 183 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:43,760 So seeing how we might have handled emotional stress in the 184 00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,480 past and reminding ourselves that we don't have to do that 185 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,760 that same way again, that we get to keep rebuilding and we can 186 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,040 keep planning and we can stop talking to ourselves like we're 187 00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,400 the problem is that the situation we can respond instead 188 00:09:57,400 --> 00:09:59,840 of react. And you are not, we're not 189 00:09:59,880 --> 00:10:02,200 behind because life happened to you. 190 00:10:02,320 --> 00:10:06,560 You just pause and then you it is adjusting the plan a little 191 00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:09,600 bit differently. So stable finances are not built 192 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,360 by perfect people. They're built by people who are 193 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,200 willing to keep adjusting, learning, rebuilding and 194 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:17,600 growing. So that's who I love to work 195 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,920 with. If that's something that you're 196 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:24,040 like, hey, I, I probably should either up my emergency fund or 197 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,320 maybe I need to talk to someone about what my emergency fund 198 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:29,320 looks like. And if I have enough, maybe I 199 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:32,280 have too much and it's getting in the way of my getting rid of 200 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:33,840 my debt. Let's talk about it. 201 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:35,960 You can book one of those borrow my brain sessions. 202 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,640 We'll go over that kind of stuff. 203 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,760 And remember that emergency funds are meant to be used. 204 00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:43,720 Those are your safety Nets because we don't want to put 205 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,840 life little setbacks on credit cards. 206 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:49,520 We want to create these ADHD friendly money management 207 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:54,280 systems that require realistic symptom realistic systems and 208 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:57,760 that financial recovery is not a linear process. 209 00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:02,160 The challenge I have for you today is to rebuild one tiny 210 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,600 layer of safety this week. Whether you add $10 to your 211 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:10,120 emergency fund, maybe you review your reoccurring expenses and 212 00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:13,160 see does something need to go so that you can move that money to 213 00:11:13,160 --> 00:11:15,640 your savings account. Maybe you need to create one 214 00:11:15,640 --> 00:11:19,560 sinking fund for those car repairs or if you haven't 215 00:11:19,560 --> 00:11:21,960 scheduled your weekly money, check in with yourself. 216 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,640 Get that on your calendar. If you are stuck on something or 217 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:29,000 you want to brainstorm what your emergency fund should look like 218 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,120 for you and your family, jump on my website. 219 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:34,040 You can get the info on the show notes for the book my brain 220 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,960 session Debt rebelpodcast.com. All right, I will see you in the 221 00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:39,480 next episode. Thanks for joining me. 222 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:42,200 Thank you for tuning into the Debt Rebel show today. 223 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,400 Ready to take your family budgeting to the next level? 224 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:49,600 Stop that paycheck to paycheck grind and start living debt 225 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,840 free. Head over to my website, 226 00:11:51,960 --> 00:12:00,760 debtrebelpodcast.com that's DEBTREDEL podcast.com to grab 227 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:03,400 resources, tools and tips to make it happen. 228 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,920 And don't forget, subscribe, leave a review. 229 00:12:06,920 --> 00:12:10,080 And if you know another family that will love hearing today's 230 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:14,440 episode, it would be such a gift for both of us, your friend and 231 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,160 me. If you share this episode. 232 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:20,160 And remember your debt free life starts with one brave step and 233 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,160 I'm cheering you on every step of the way. 234 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:23,480 We'll talk soon. Debt Rebel.