1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:04,560
Hello and welcome to the show. 
Today we're going to talk about 

2
00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:07,280
money. 
OK, So we talk about money all 

3
00:00:07,280 --> 00:00:09,720
the time on the show. 
That's what the show is about. 

4
00:00:09,720 --> 00:00:14,360
We are about making our money 
work better for us and stretch 

5
00:00:14,360 --> 00:00:17,800
further and accomplish the goals
we have set for our families. 

6
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:23,000
But I want to talk specifically 
today and I want to address 

7
00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:28,520
something that comes up a lot is
just the idea that we have about

8
00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:33,440
what we say about our money, 
what we, how we present it, how 

9
00:00:33,440 --> 00:00:36,040
we share it. 
Hey there, I'm Jules, the budget

10
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,120
nerd, and welcome to the Debt 
Rebel show. 

11
00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:41,560
This is the place where working 
families like yours learn how to

12
00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:44,760
stop living paycheck to 
paycheck, crush debt for good, 

13
00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:47,680
and build a life where money 
actually works for your family. 

14
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:51,880
In about 15 minutes, I'll share 
practical family budgeting tips,

15
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,480
tough love strategies, and the 
actionable steps to move toward 

16
00:00:55,480 --> 00:00:58,320
debt free living without the 
fluff, the shame or the 

17
00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:00,760
confusion. 
And I know a thing or two about 

18
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,720
this. 
My family and I have eliminated 

19
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:07,520
over $107,000 in consumer debt. 
And that was after I got my 

20
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,200
degree in economics. 
So stay tuned. 

21
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:12,400
This is going to be a great 
episode. 

22
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,920
So grab that coffee, your 
planner, whatever you need to 

23
00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:19,240
make this a great experience. 
Maybe a snack if you're like me.

24
00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,600
And let's make your money work 
for your family. 

25
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:25,000
Hi, Jules. 
This is Bale Doll. 

26
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,000
I just recently started 
listening to you. 

27
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:34,280
Oh, I want to say over like the 
last four months and I'm like, 

28
00:01:34,280 --> 00:01:35,840
it's really hard for me to say 
this. 

29
00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:41,400
I'm 53 and I have a lot of 
credit card debt and I have a 

30
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:46,000
fairly large house payment. 
Live in Washington state, super 

31
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:51,200
expensive up here and I do have 
a good job and if I didn't have 

32
00:01:51,200 --> 00:01:56,800
this credit card debt I'd be OK.
But I do and I have a lot and I 

33
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:00,840
need encouragement and help. 
I've got my daughter, but I was 

34
00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:04,960
kind of raised not to talk about
this stuff, to just kind of keep

35
00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:07,640
it to yourself and maybe. 
That very special welcome to 

36
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,600
Vail. 
Thank you so much for listening 

37
00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:13,960
to the Debt Rebel Podcast and I 
really appreciated your message.

38
00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:19,120
And you are absolutely right. 
We are taught not to talk about 

39
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:22,880
our money. 
And I think that that is one of 

40
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:27,400
the reasons why we can get in 
these situations where we end up

41
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:32,680
with credit card debt or we feel
a certain way about our spending

42
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,840
habits, whether we're, you know,
we don't want to talk about it. 

43
00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,800
We want to plug our ears and go 
la, la, la, la, la. 

44
00:02:38,800 --> 00:02:41,160
Like, you know, the toddler 
that's, you know, it's trying to

45
00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:45,360
tell him it's time to go to bed.
Or maybe it's the teenager 

46
00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:48,160
that's like wants to slam the 
door in your face because you've

47
00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:52,360
asked them to unload the 
dishwasher for the 15th time. 

48
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:56,160
Whatever it is, sometimes we 
just want to escape the 

49
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,920
conversation because it's 
uncomfortable. 

50
00:02:59,360 --> 00:03:04,040
And so I think I want to unveil 
you're not alone. 

51
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,160
And two, I want to also address 
that for others that listen to 

52
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:12,920
the show and think I hear you 
and I am listening, but I don't 

53
00:03:12,920 --> 00:03:15,640
know how to have this 
conversation with certain people

54
00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:18,440
in my life or what to talk about
or what is safe. 

55
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:23,320
And so I want to talk about that
today, especially as we go into 

56
00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,640
the holidays. 
We might be around family more. 

57
00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:29,480
We might be around our family of
origin or where we have some 

58
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:31,800
strained relationships. 
Maybe we have family members 

59
00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:35,160
that we've borrowed money from 
before and we're not able to pay

60
00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,480
that back for whatever reason 
right now or whatever you're 

61
00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,120
going through with your money 
and our relationships. 

62
00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:45,120
Money can change relationships. 
And so I wanted to just kind of,

63
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:48,640
I don't know, peel back that 
onion today and let's let's talk

64
00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:52,280
about it because I think that 
things that get left in the 

65
00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,440
dark, they, they stay there. 
And when we bring them to the 

66
00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:59,480
surface and we talk about and we
address them just like we look 

67
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,040
back at our bank statements and 
go, OK, you know what, we can 

68
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,560
make some adjustments here. 
We can do the same thing with 

69
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:06,480
our conversations and our 
relationships. 

70
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,440
And so I have been reading that 
book Boundaries. 

71
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:12,640
Have you read that before? 
It's so good. 

72
00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:16,760
But it has been really helpful 
for me and it's one I wish I've 

73
00:04:16,760 --> 00:04:21,200
had way back in the day, but I 
never read it to kind of talk 

74
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:24,600
about boundaries with our money 
and our conversations about 

75
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,880
money with with people in our 
lives. 

76
00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:31,240
And so I know for us, our story 
is my, my parents taught me how 

77
00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,320
to manage my money well. 
And then I didn't. 

78
00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,680
And then I end up having to 
borrow money from them. 

79
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:40,760
And then the Bank of mom and dad
closed and my husband and I had 

80
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,280
a mortgage payment that we 
needed to make. 

81
00:04:42,280 --> 00:04:46,760
And my parents were not a source
of helping us with that anymore.

82
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:50,000
We had to figure out on our own.
And so that was a boundary that 

83
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,360
my parents set for myself and my
husband. 

84
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:55,680
And looking back, it was very 
challenging. 

85
00:04:55,680 --> 00:04:58,360
And I did an episode on it. 
I'll put that, I'll link that in

86
00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,960
the in the show notes. 
From looking back, that was a 

87
00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:06,000
very hard conversation that we 
had, but it was such a good one 

88
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:10,920
because it forced me to look at 
something that I needed to fix. 

89
00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,960
And sometimes we need someone 
outside of our situation to do 

90
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,080
that. 
And then sometimes we can just 

91
00:05:17,080 --> 00:05:19,120
decide for ourselves. 
Now is the time. 

92
00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:23,040
And so I just want to encourage 
you, if you have people in your 

93
00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:26,320
life that maybe you've got some 
relationship strained because of

94
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:30,320
money, maybe this is the time to
just kind of open up that door 

95
00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,280
to have a conversation. 
Not necessarily make any 

96
00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:36,440
commitments or anything like 
that, but say, kind of address 

97
00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:40,160
the elephant in the room. 
And because when we when we 

98
00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,560
address that elephant in the 
room, it gets smaller and 

99
00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:45,800
smaller every bite that we take.
And our relationships can be 

100
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,440
mended and repaired if we're 
willing to do the work. 

101
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,160
And obviously we can't expect 
someone on the other side. 

102
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,920
We can't control what they're 
going to do. 

103
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:56,720
And just like I've shared on 
this on the show before, like I 

104
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,720
couldn't change my husband's 
spending habits. 

105
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:03,280
I can only change my own. 
And so that's what I did until 

106
00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,800
he got to a place where, OK, he 
was, he was ready to make the 

107
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,640
change. 
He saw the fruit of what I 

108
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:13,360
wanted to accomplish and where I
was going with our, with our 

109
00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:16,680
financial plan because he wasn't
on board at the very beginning. 

110
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:21,480
And now on the other side of it,
that yes, I know it is hard work

111
00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,720
and it can be challenging and 
it's hard, but I just want you 

112
00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:28,160
to know that you're not alone. 
And having these conversations, 

113
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:32,280
whether they're big or small, is
going to be a step in the right 

114
00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:35,040
direction towards healing that 
relationship. 

115
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:37,440
But not just the relationship 
with that person, but your 

116
00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:41,200
relationship with your money. 
Because how we manage our money 

117
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:45,040
is important because it is the 
tool that we use to accomplish 

118
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,920
our hopes and our dreams. 
It's a tool that we use to 

119
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,240
accomplish our, you know, our 
goals in life, whether it's 

120
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:54,960
buying a home or, you know, 
creating a certain lifestyle for

121
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,960
our families, providing, you 
know, basic needs for our 

122
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:01,440
families and maybe creating some
great memories for our families.

123
00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,840
So we do that. 
That is the universal. 

124
00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:10,160
The universal currency is money 
to use those to accomplish that.

125
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,120
I just feel like this topic has 
come up a lot and I just really 

126
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,480
wanted to to share the it's 
finding a safe place to have 

127
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,480
that conversation. 
And that's what we do inside the

128
00:07:21,480 --> 00:07:24,440
alliance. 
And so I want to share a special

129
00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:28,000
invite if this is a place where 
you're at right now and you're 

130
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:30,000
like, I've heard you talk about 
this a lot. 

131
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,280
I've heard you share a lot of 
your story and I know you have 

132
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:37,760
some great resources available. 
I am opening up the Alliance so 

133
00:07:37,760 --> 00:07:40,120
that anyone that's been 
listening to this show, you can 

134
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:43,720
jump in this next week, November
12th through the 19th depending 

135
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,080
on when you're listening to this
and you can jump in and 

136
00:07:46,080 --> 00:07:49,240
experience the Alliance for 
completely free. 

137
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:52,320
You can jump in on the on my 
calls with myself. 

138
00:07:52,320 --> 00:07:56,320
I would love to chat more with 
you about your money, your money

139
00:07:56,320 --> 00:07:58,840
questions. 
I love being able to record 

140
00:07:58,840 --> 00:08:03,000
these episodes, but I crave that
opportunity to answer your 

141
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,840
questions and and address things
that are going on in your 

142
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:10,800
financial life. 
And so I want to invite you to 

143
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,280
that. 
I will put the link in the show 

144
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:14,200
notes. 
You can also get to my website, 

145
00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:17,400
julesthebudgetnerd.com and check
it out there. 

146
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,920
But let's let's talk about your 
money. 

147
00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:24,120
Let's figure out what's working,
what needs to be tweaked. 

148
00:08:24,200 --> 00:08:26,080
And we can and we can move 
forward. 

149
00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:29,680
We can bring those things that 
are that things that are in the 

150
00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,720
dark, the things that are in 
that Monica closet. 

151
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,080
Let's bring them out and address
them and them in their proper 

152
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:39,120
place and then we can move 
forward with life and accomplish

153
00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,520
more of our hopes and dreams for
our families and for ourselves 

154
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,760
and have more peace in our 
day-to-day life. 

155
00:08:45,800 --> 00:08:48,280
So I hope that that was 
encouraging for you today. 

156
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:53,480
And I'm just excited to see you 
inside the alliance. 

157
00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:55,960
If that is something that you 
want to check out, you can go to

158
00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,200
my website, 
jewelsthebudgetnerd.com, 

159
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,120
jewlz@thebudgetnerd.com. 
Thank you so much for joining me

160
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,840
today. 
We'll talk with you in the next 

161
00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:05,880
episode. 
Thank you for tuning into the 

162
00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:08,800
Debt Rebel Show today. 
Ready to take your family 

163
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,520
budgeting to the next level? 
Stop that paycheck to paycheck 

164
00:09:12,520 --> 00:09:14,760
grind and start living debt 
free. 

165
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:18,840
Head over to my website 
debtrebelpodcast.com. 

166
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:27,120
That's DEBTREBEL podcast.com to 
grab resources, tools and tips 

167
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:30,000
to make it happen. 
And don't forget subscribe, 

168
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,840
leave a review. 
And if you know another family 

169
00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:36,280
that will love hearing today's 
episode, it would be such a gift

170
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:39,040
for both of us, your friend and 
me. 

171
00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,400
If you share this episode and 
remember your debt free life 

172
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:45,800
starts with one brave step and 
I'm cheering you on every step 

173
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,640
of the way, We'll talk soon, 
Debt Rebel.