I'm Michael. Che and I'm Colin Jose, and
we've got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big.
Secret. Well, now you got to give the
people something. I'm not saying a word.
Oh, then people will know to tune in.
Come on, tell them a little. Like our hosting of comedy
events streaming only on Peacock, exactly how it's called
New York After Dark and it's a comedy show that only features
drop in comic. Boom, you nail into.
Michael Che's phone nervous. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey.
Hey, hey, New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing,
and it's streaming now only on Peacock.
You love it. Zippers, Welcome to the Friday
episode of the Tea With Me podcast.
With me, your dad's best friend, Shane Todd.
I'm manic. I'm frantic.
You're asking why you're going. What's wrong?
Money Toad is it? Is it the time in the week where
you count up your bills? No, it's not.
I'm not stacking that cash. What I'm doing is an impromptu
episode of the podcast. We haven't missed an episode and
dropped my phone. I don't know what's happening.
I'm questioning a lot of things. But let me say this, we are
doing this episode. This gets released, I think 7:00
AM on a Friday. Britney Spears dad is pretty
much in charge of that at that time.
Obviously I'm sleeping in a bath of moisturiser.
But we have had to delay the episode we were going to release
and I'll tell you why next week when we do release it.
But so I am what time is it here?
20 to 6. I'm going to football training
in 50 minutes. So I am doing this episode right
now and also I've just announced the stand up show In the
Limelight that you've probably seen me posting about already.
And I had to do that 10 minutes ago.
I've got P in my hand. It's too warm, so I'm setting it
back down. I thought it was a drinkable
temperature. It's not.
I Yeah, I had to announce the shows in the Limelight.
Can you include the groups info? What?
What does that mean?
Yeah, this is real. This is my life in real time,
guys. This is real life happening
right now. I knew that whenever I put the
post up about the limelight show, I would do it wrong in
some way. I've done it wrong and that's
happening right here right now. But I said Britney Spears dad
said genuinely to quote him on this.
He said the zippers are trash. He said the listeners are
garbage and I said, what the fuck did you just say?
And then I was going to like get angry at him, but then I
remember he controls my life and all my finances.
I said, listen, I'm ego. Don't even do an episode for
those punks. And I said no.
I said I'll do an episode. And he goes, what?
What's your commitment level to this podcast?
And I said, I will make it look like I'm dressed normally,
albeit a 1940s rugby player. But if you're watching the video
podcast, but on the bottom half, I'm dressed for training.
I'm wearing my football socks and pair of shorts, and that's
the way it is. It's going to be a slightly
shorter episode this week, but don't worry about that at all
because as you know, my good friend Dave Elliott will tell
you, sometimes things that are smaller can still do a great
job. And if you read in between the
lines there, I'm talking about his penis.
So we're going to have a good time.
We've got listeners questions. The zippers have stepped up.
I said to the zippers very aggressively, give me your
questions right now. And the zippers have delivered.
You know, it's it's a two way St that swings and roundabouts.
I'm doing this episode when I don't have time to do the
episode for the zippers and the zippers are giving me the
questions. So it's a trade off.
I'm going to plug two things. One of the things is sitting
over there. I should have grabbed it
beforehand, but you can see my football shorts there.
Yeah. One of the things I want to plug
is our big sponsor. We should do some sort of big
mad announcement for this, but but we won't.
Manscaped have come on board as the the major sponsor of tea
with me. They're going to sponsor.
They're going to sponsor us for a prolonged period of time, I
think, or maybe they won't. You know, they could, they could
easily not do that, you know, but Manscaped they're on board
and we love that because we use the product.
We stand over producer Dan and IAK Britney Spears dad.
He's a terrible guy, but one thing I'll say about him as his
pubic region is absolutely gleaming.
If you ask him, he'll probably show you.
So we are the laid down manscaped and the lawnmower 3
point. OA lot of people are looking at
that and going that's not going to cut my grass in the garden.
Hey, we're talking about the grass in your jeans.
We're talking about your pubic grass and manscaped are the
landscapers for you. Now that's a very contrived way
of saying this razor is a great job.
What you do with this is before you use it, you like
statistically, 99% of men in Northern Ireland have
insufficient pubes, and that could well be the name of this
week's episode. You've insufficient pubes.
So what Manscaped have done is got this technology together.
They've had the lawnmower 1.0, Sure.
They've had the 2.0. Yeah, big deal.
Then they said what else can we do after that?
We've got something up our sleeve and people guessed it was
the 3.0 because the two before would have been the one and two.
OK, so it's precision technology, that's what it is.
I was sceptical before. I used it as like, I've always
been a scissors guy, Edward Scissorhands.
That's how I, you know, cut my hair down there.
But but no, I used this for the first time couple of months ago
and I haven't looked back since. In fact, the only the only way
I'm looking is down on my own pubic hair because I can't
believe it. You can go on manscape.com,
whether it's for yourself or whether you are a girl listening
and you're like, my guy just doesn't have that pube game.
Or alternatively, you're a guy who get ready, get ready for
this. Maybe you're a guy that dates a
guy and you your pubes are great, but his aren't and that's
the only thing holding you guys back.
That and certain political parties locally.
What you can do is go on the manscape.com, you use the code
Tea with Me and you get 20% off and free shipping.
That's Tea with Me for 20% off and free shipping.
We're delighted to have Manscaped on board.
Go and check out the website, see what they do.
We genuinely use their product and they're great.
The one other thing on the plug is patreonpatreon.com/tea With
Me podcast. If you can't get enough,
sometimes you have a cup of tea and you go, I'd love another cup
of tea, but you're not going to. If you're in Starbucks Cafe
near, you're not going to go and order another cup of tea, but
maybe if you were at home, you'd pour yourself a second cup.
If you want the second cup, you get the bonus episode of this
podcast. Every single Monday, me and
Britney Spears dad sit down for a Patreon episode.
They're a hell of a lot of fun. Sometimes the boys are a little
bit loose, a little bit wild because it's only the the the
Patreon zippers that are listening.
And at the end of the episode, if I remember, I'm in a very
much of A tizzy. But if not, we'll do it next
week. I'm going to shout out all the
Patreons because you get a major shout out on the podcast every
week and I haven't done that in a while, but I'm going to start
doing it again because I appreciate every single one of
you. Also, my Waterfront Hall show
from last year is on there in its entirety, so you can watch
that if you're a Patreon sipper. Speaking of sips, that is a
great cup of tea despite being made under pressure.
That's one thing I won't be. Is Rush making tea?
What? Despite being up against the
time wise, I was like, we've got to go into this podcast with
with a little bit of something. We've got to have something to
talk about. Of course we'll do the listeners
questions, but what I want to talk about is something that
caught my eye earlier in the week.
We did facts about Northern Ireland and I have found 10
fascinating facts that you need to know about Belfast.
Some of these may be news to me. I'm not too sure.
So we'll run through these. Then we'll do listeners
questions as say it's going to be a slightly shorter podcast
this week, but then we have a great interview we're supposed
to release tomorrow that we're going to bring out on Wednesday
or Friday and next week. And then there'll be a a proper
big solo episode. So I don't know if you guys knew
this, but the Titanic was built in Belfast and we covered that
on Wednesday and that I, I only learned that on Wednesday
because no one had ever mentioned it.
One thing I'll tell you quickly is whenever the EUR were on and
Northern Ireland were in the EUR, I went to a game.
I went over to shit. Where was it?
France. Yeah, France for a game.
Me and my friend Tony, which was an adventure in itself.
We went over for 24 hours to a game.
We flew to Milan, stayed in Milan overnight first thing in
the morning, hired a car, a wee tiny 1 litre car for a reason
that I can't even be bothered to start to explain.
Then we drove through the Alps. We didn't know we had to drive
through the Alps. I didn't look at the route and
or Tony as he's called. And then and then we just had to
drive the Leon and then after the game, drive straight back in
a thunderstorm and get a flight the next morning.
But what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Titanic.
So the Titanic slipways were showing some of the EUR games.
It was like a fan zone that was late on that a lot of people
went to. I mean, was it me and Michael
Foster? Might have been.
Me and Michael Foster went down to watch a game.
I don't know if it was Michael. Anyway, we weren't down to watch
a game, but it was full that weren't letting people in.
And I think it was maybe Northern Ireland, Germany.
It was a big game and it was full.
But if you go at the back of the Titanic Visitor Centre, you
could see into the fan zone and see the TV and it wasn't packed.
There was nobody around you. But the Titanic must have known
this and they didn't want loads of football fans.
They're, you know, shooting Greenway Orbo in front of
confused Asian tourists. So they had a security guy
basically not letting anybody round the back of Titanic.
So I zipped up my jacket that I had another iron shirt
underneath. We walked up the security guard.
I said follow my lead to Michael and I went up to security guard
and he said sorry lads, no one's allowed through here to try and
watch the match. And I said oh, we're just trying
to see the Titanic. And the guy said no worries
lads, sorry about that, off you go.
And whoever I was with, I think it was Michael said, hey, thanks
a lot, we appreciate it. Now that was potentially the
best moment of my life because we watched the match with nobody
around us, nobody spilling drinks, just us peering over a
wee wall. And it was a great time even
another and lost the game but that Titanic story just reminds
me of that and I really enjoyed it yeah before I move on, I'll
just say with the limelight shows this morning so Friday, if
you're listening to this on the day it came out, I've just
announced the return of some sort of shows for me on the 10th
of September. I'm playing the limelight in
Belfast. It's going to be massively
socially distanced. The limelight have this isn't
just something we decided to do yesterday.
We've been talking about this for weeks and weeks and all the
staff at the limelight in the management there at Shine have
made sure that this is the most responsible way to do the show.
They've, they've been, you don't need to know this, but they've
been going over the line out the, the layout, sorry of the
room, trying to figure out the best way to do it, consulting
with the right people and these shows.
I, I would, I would be happy to go as an audience member, but at
the same time, if you're like, I still don't want to go to an
indoor thing. I would totally get that.
I would 100% get that. But all I'll say is I think
these shows will be done in a really responsible way.
And stand up back baby I am on with, I'm sharing a bill with
Tim McGarry who was on the podcast couple of weeks ago.
Great response to that. And of course, the Stone Head
himself, Dave Elliott, what a lineup that is.
That's three headliners. And also for the price, you get
pizza. Oh, shit.
I just realised zippers, what I was supposed to put up with that
post. You can only book tickets in
groups of four, six and eight. Yes, I totally understand.
And I was supposed to say that. And Limelight said, will you say
that when you're posting it up? And I said yes, but I have, I
have not done that. So here we go.
I the the most riveting podcast content.
Hold on, guys. While I have manned a couple of
posts, but that's just the way it is.
I couldn't be more excited for these gigs.
I'm going to get them filmed, I think.
And it's new territory. Hey, I haven't been to an indoor
event. So the first time I go to one, I
will be performing at it and I'm really excited.
Tickets can be bought in groups of four, six and eight.
And I apologise that I'm doing this on the podcast.
I really do apologise. 4-6 and eight.
OK. I just had to get that message
right there because the Zippers would not like it if I was
taking the task by Ofcom for that.
So yeah, the lineup is insane. Tim, Dave, myself, pizza, I
mean, pizza is probably the biggest name on that bill.
You know, I would certainly just be going for pizza.
And I think we are a bonus just just being comedy.
Yeah. Yeah.
So let me just put that up before we move on.
And there's Dave getting in touch with me saying he doesn't
like the way the image of him has been put on the poster.
And Dave has a problem every time he is put on a poster, he
always has a problem. He says always they've spelled
my name wrong or they've put me, you know, they've made the font
weird or whatever. And hey Dave, hey man, let's
just enjoy being back outside again, my man, OK.
And also a lot of people think that Dave and I have fallen out
because we've stopped in the Boy Tone podcast.
And I feel like Dave and I should probably have fuelled
that rumour for a while, and then eventually, just when
lockdown and stuff eases, just posted a video of us in the bath
together again. So there we go.
Sorry I had to do that. I apologise, but you guys know
we're doing this episode on the hoof.
I want to bring you the episode and please accept my unreserved
apology #9 Belfast is both town and city status.
Whoa. There's some facts that we've
covered before. The city was once referred to as
Leninopolis. The linen industry in Ireland
was centred in Belfast and during the 19th century the city
was the largest linen producer in the world and played a key
role in the industrial revolution class.
Samsung and Goliath Horneville For the biggest freestanding
Koreans in the world, the society United Irishman was
founded in Belfast. I don't know what that is.
Somebody will be like, well how mate, how do you know what that
is? James Connelly lived in Belfast
Air's revolutionary socialist and Easter Rising leader.
Easter Rising sounded like a very good indie band.
He lived in the Falls Rd in the heart of West Belfast.
Goodman Goodman. He previously lived in
Edinburgh, America and Dublin, but he moved to Belfast in May
1911 and lived at 1 Glenelina Terrace, Falls Rd.
Quiet #3 Belfast was once bigger than Dublin, but then Dublin
doubled #2 Belfast was bombed by the Nazis in World War 2.
I feel like, you know, the Nazis were very brave and doing that,
you know, I imagine the Nazi planes drove away.
They showed you people going you fuck off, fuck away off.
You know, I feel like even back then, like it's a Nazi dead
bomb. Belfast, you probably might not
have noticed, you know, because during the 40s and 50s and
stuff, I think Belfast was a little bit crazy, a little bit
wild and you know, then although was there area shelters and
stuff? I don't know.
I'd love to know what I mean. It would, I won't do any
research, but it'd be keen to know what happened.
World War 2IN Belfast. I know they painted a lot of
buildings black so the Nazi bombers wouldn't, wouldn't,
wouldn't see them. But then I feel like if there
was one building that just didn't, it would undermine
everything and there'd be no point in not doing it.
So yeah, I just want to go through a couple of those facts
and now we'll get into some listeners questions.
Guys, let's be honest, this is not the best podcast I've done.
But at the same time, we're here, we're doing it, we're
having a good time. We're doing stand up again.
We're eating pizza, although I'll probably not be eating the
pizza because of a gluten allergy and a dairy allergy.
Glen Lindsey, fuck's sake, Fuck's sake.
Seeing as this is a football podcast, no it isn't.
Do you think Messi could do a job in the Premier League?
Personally, I think he could do a job for Burnley.
Do you think the greatest footballer of all time at the
age of 33, which isn't that old now, relatively in football
years because they all take care of themselves, could do a job in
the English Premier League? Yes I do.
I think the greatest, potentially the greatest player
of all time, the guys won the bond or six times, could
probably do a job against Premier League defenders such as
Phil Barnsley. This is not a football podcast.
Joe William, do you think Dave Elliott will ever accept that he
lives in your shadow? No, because he he, he very much
doesn't. So Joe, I think you've tried,
you've tried to mug Dave off with that.
You've tried to be a little bit nasty there.
We don't welcome Nothing Tea with Me podcast.
Maybe if it was the The Beers with the Lads podcast we would
do that. But we're just all about being
lovely here and being nice. Does Dave live in my shadow?
Absolutely not. Dave is his own guy.
Dave has his own podcast, the Sly Guy podcast.
Dave has really done a lot of good writing recently as well.
He's working on a couple of projects.
I can't really talk about, but he's he's flying with him.
He has a beautiful family, a nice house job.
So he's he's not in my shadow. And also it would be the other
way, right? I could only be in his shadow.
He wouldn't. My shadow would is quite thin.
And to be honest, the only thing my shadow could cover is
potential, like a very large child.
And Dave is built like a man. So I don't think he could be in
my shadow, but I could definitely be in his.
That tea is delicious. But yeah, I didn't appreciate
that question because because as we know, Dave Elliott is an
extremely funny man and I hate saying nice things about him.
But that's why the first gig I'm doing back, I need my Monty
evaluate on the lineup because sometimes he's funny.
Alex Clyde, have you ever had someone slag you off
accidentally to a friend? I once saw a podcast sticker on
someone's laptop for a popular local comedian and gave my
honest opinion only to find out they were mates and work
together. Yeah, of course.
Oh, have someone slag me accidentally to a friend.
Yeah. Yeah, that's happened a lot.
Of course you get like in WhatsApp groups, maybe somebody
being like, I can't stand that fella or whatever that fella or
whatever. Or, you know, he's, I never said
a word there that I you're not allowed to say anymore.
And that one actually is sly because I don't even think it's
that bad of a word. And I reckon if we surveyed a
lot of people, I reckon that would be one that people might
be like, you know what, that one is still actually pretty much
fine. But I'd need to consult people
before I threw that out there. So yeah, yeah, definitely.
I've have I have had that before.
And I'm sure like, yeah, of course.
And if friends are like, oh, this person I know was slagging
you off there and all, I would just say immediately never be
friends with them again and slap them in the face.
Stephen says Biggie or Tupac. See, I think I'm really in the
Biggie and Tupac. But then again, I only know
really about 5 of their songs each, so I can't say I've ever
listened to a whole album or anything.
Probably Biggie, and I know that will be devastating to the
estate of Tupac Shakur that that I slightly prefer Biggie.
But the thing about Biggie Smalls is, and no 32 year old
white Northern Irishman should ever be like, here's the thing
with Biggie. Here's my two cents.
Who am I trying to be, Westwood? Yo, baby, say Westwood.
Yo, my man. Why do Westwood never sit down
for 10 minutes? Why didn't nobody go Westwood?
Do me a favour. Yo baby, what do you want man?
How can I do you a favour? Tim Westwood baby, the big dog.
What do you need, Playboy? Tim need you to fuck up for a
second. My man Tim Westwood, baby.
I'm a 74 year old English man hanging out backstage with
hanging out backstage with Drake and Rick Ross.
What's good, baby? Westwood, didn't someone shoot
him or something like in the leg whenever he's about 19 and
that's why he is now like famous or not famous.
He just, he's just love drop, don't they?
I used to have a Westwood compilation city.
It was actually pretty banging. But yeah, Westwood's like an old
guy and I shouldn't be talking like that.
Shouldn't be talking like that. My man.
Yo, Tim Westwood, baby. Yeah, it's popping off here.
Crazy. Is it popping off, Tim?
Because you're just sitting in a cafe cafe eating a sandwich?
You're just sitting in a cafe eating.
A sandwich, tuna melt, baby yo going big big dog.
Tim, stop just for a minute. Stop and go for a walk mate.
I'm going to walk straight to Rockefeller records and
interview exhibit. Yeah, I'm chilling with my man
DMX about to spit a freestyle. Tim, you've got the manager,
you're not sitting with DMX, you're out of bus.
Stop me at N Leeds. Shout out to Tim Westwood.
Maybe we'll get him on the pod, yo.
Playboy Egg McDonald. Does Rory McIlroy automatically
get Q jump at Ollie's? I mean, if I automatically get Q
jump at Ollie's, which back in the day whenever I used to go
out to places like socially to drink and stuff, you know, let's
be honest, let's not shy away from the fact that the man boy
cheeky AKA the money told AK Sheena boy QQ definitely did get
Q jump. That's just a thing.
I'm not going to. There's no point in me saying I
didn't because I did and and I, I liked it, you know, I did like
that. And so I would say there is a
slight chance if I got it, McElroy would also receive the
same treatment, if not slightly better treatment.
I used to love that genuinely. And it's probably real NAF to
say and real wanker thing to say, but you know, there is a
time when a year old mate here was seen as a pretty cool on the
old nightlife scene. Me showing up dollies.
Yo Bailey, open the velvet rope. Open the velvet rope.
Oh no, the guy no the works here is not working tonight.
I'll join the queue, baby. This was a good idea to this
podcast. Let's let's let's make a clip of
the Westwood bit. Rathcoole says if wounded
nothing major by a gunshot at a concert, would you stay for the
rest of the show? Relieved to get a taxi home.
See in next week's podcast, we're going to dissect Johnny
Adair getting shot at AUB 40 concert.
And let me prefix that with this.
If in the meantime, Johnny Adair or anyone Johnny Adair knows
gets in touch with me to the podcast and says here, don't be
fucking talking about that 100% I will not be featuring that in
the podcast. But I'll just say this.
Yes, I was reminded this week of the fact that former loyalist
prisoner Johnny Adair was at a UB40 concert and got shot in the
head and basically kept singing red, red wine and then like went
home and slept it off. And I want to talk about that in
next week's podcast. And that's just what we're going
to do. Would I would I stay at the
concert if I took a cramp going to see the Killers in the SSAI
go to Annie Ronan Armstrong. Did the nation's little brother
ever reside in any terrible squatter like conditions during
his come up? Obviously no longer the case up
in the money told mansion. Am I right?
Ha ha. From a resident of the fly tip
in an alley pop in capital of the Belfast wonderful holy
lands. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Make no mistake, the money told us always spend his time in
mansions. Yeah, I mean, nothing terrible
and I never lived in the student house.
I did live in a very, very, very small flat in Sydenham for 10
months whenever I got out of hospital for Evan Crohn's.
We lived there for a while and there was nothing wrong with the
area or the flat, but it was that small that because I come
out of hospital and this thing called post viral fatigue, which
basically was like a 10 month year long hangover, it kind of
drove me mad. It was like being in a prison
cell and I have bad memories of like that apt.
I just took it out in the apartment, if you know what I
mean. So that wasn't that bad.
But the money told is definitely never lived in a mansion.
But let's just say there will be a couple more Patreon signing up
and buying Belfast City Hall. I'm buying City Hall and the
sleepers of the Zippers are going to come over and be the
sleepers. I didn't mean to say the
sleepers. I was willing to say the zippers
can come over and have tea, but don't call yourselves the
sleepers because you don't get to sleep in my house.
Congreben, who would you most like to get as a guest in your
podcast and why? I would like to get on my
podcast. Let me see who likes tea.
I think for views I would get, I'd like to get something like
the Queen and Jerry Adams on just to kick it back and forth.
But if they weren't available, I know one guy I'd like to get
involved. Would be my man Tim Westwood
baby. Westwood, you want a cup of tea?
Yeah, man, pour me some Corvoisier on top of that Tetley
baby. That's how we do it.
Sorry, demo of Only Tea. OK.
Jason Hurst, do you call gravy ring?
Gravy ring? I'd call it a doughnut.
But if I was in a shop, a bakery like an old school Belfast
bakery, I would say can I have a gravy ring please?
Because you've got to show respect.
I don't know why they're called gravy rings because as far as I
know there's no gravy involved. There used to be a great bakery.
It's probably still there on Castle Street in Belfast that I
used to go to when I went to tech there and I used to get a
little apple apple pie slice and there an ice finger.
Oh, yeah. Scott Miller, what's your
opinion on the man bun? I don't think I like the man bun
apart from its own, like sexy, like Jason Momoa type, you know,
Jack guys. And I think it's pretty fucking
cute and sexy. But on someone like me, not
sweet, but a hair band. All good.
I'm actually thinking about wearing a hair band, the
football tonight because I don't want my fringe to go on my eyes
because I would hate that. Jimmy Harrison, who were in a
fight between Jackie Fullerton, Julian Simmons prison rules.
Simmons has youth on his side compared to Fullerton, but
Fullerton's a wily old character like Fullerton would lure you in
with like his gravy voice. Speaking of gravy rings his
gravy voice. And then before you knew it, you
know he'd lure you in and then you wouldn't see his right hand.
He'd just take you a big dunkler to the back of the loaf.
So but then it get Simmons has not slagged Julian Sims off, but
he actually does have quite a not big head, but like a thick
enough head. So I'd say he could take a job
from Fuller. Could Fuller right through a
good job these days? I'd say Fullerton if he knocked
Simmons out afterwards, go one nil to Fullerton.
Or if Julian Simmons managed to land the the the fatal blow, he
would he would probably look down at Jackie Fullerton and
say, yeah, and now going up to the Ulster, you know Jackie
Fullerton. So it'll be a good fight, and
maybe we get them both on the pod.
Joshua, opinions on pin opinion. What are your thoughts on
parents naming a newborn baby after geographical locations?
Example, people call them Paris or London, but imagine you named
Joey one Strabane Todd. Yeah, it's not sweet.
Like, Brooklyn Beckham's kind of all right.
But yeah, you don't want to like Lena Doone, McGraw or John
Belfast. What happened there, Zippers was
my camera runs out every half an hour and I have to rerecord
again, like record a new clip. And I was really panicked to get
one in beforehand. And I think that I say John
Belfast or something. Worst banter of all time.
So I apologise for that. And the fact that we're doing
what we call a quick pod. Aaron Lynn says, genuine
question, do you want to buy my house?
And Jamie Harrison weighs in on that.
So zippers are getting involved with all their zippers.
And he says low key brag there and I don't like it.
So our newer house is encumber. Let me go into it.
You're probably absolutely loving this.
This might help you sell this platform.
Let me see. Oh, yeah, I like your groynes.
Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't want that.
This is way too small for me. But as a we starter home, Yeah,
three at 5 as well. I mean, I'm tempted, but just
because you listen to the podcast, I'm tempted to just buy
that in cash tonight and we could store like our microphones
and audio equipment there or something.
I like it. It's in Cumber.
And let me see. I'm going to read out your first
paragraph because I'm a fucking great guy.
You better sign up from manscape.com with a promo code T
with me for me doing this for you.
Join us in the pube club this charming detached home is
situated on. In fact, do you want me to read
this out like Jackie Fuller? No, I'm going to read this out
like Tim Westwood. This charming detached home is
situated on a. Delightful private and sheltered
site. Extending to approximately 2
acres. Baby, which is.
Laid out in the lawns, rough pastures with native and mature.
Planting of hedges and trees that afford.
A superb degree of privacy. Baby Pow.
Pow. Pow Oh nice.
And you owe me 600 points for doing that.
But yeah, I don't want to buy your house at all, man.
But definitely some people will. And then what about when that
happens? You you kick the podcast 50
grand, kick it over for the poise and we'll put it some good
use. Patrick, when Belfast guy in
China says what's been the funniest thing that's ever
happened to you? Something that instantly would
make you smile uncontrollably while sitting on a packed bus
alone if it came to your mind. Yeah, this I might have
mentioned it before in the podcast and apologies that I've
got to tell the quick version. And there's probably funnier
things that have happened to me, but this one definitely sticks
out. I was asked to do a gig for
charity. I was asked to do a gig for
charity via my dad. My dad was like, somebody wants
you to do this gig, somebody that we know I don't know
particularly well, but he does. And then it didn't sound like it
was going to be a good show. And I want to do every charity
gig possible. But if it doesn't sound like I'm
going to be able to do a good job at it, IE if they've got a
band on and they're like you're on after the band stand up is
very like specific in the way it's going to work.
So I just didn't think comedy could unwell at this event.
So I was like, no, I'm not going to do it.
Just say I'm busy on the date but two weeks later me and my
dad are out and about going for a cup of tea and we see the
person that's booking the event and the person doesn't even
mention the event. And I go here, sorry that I
wasn't able to do your event but I'm just I'm down in Dublin on
that day. And then the person said, I
haven't told your dad yet what date it is.
No, I, I, you know, people are like, I just wanted a hold to
swallow me up. I just wanted a bus to smack
into me and send me 12 miles in a different direction so I
could, even with my injuries, just sob out of awkwardness.
I was like, oh, I didn't know. Maybe I thought he said 12th of
March. The damage was done.
So I think back to how much I played myself there and, and
that's probably the funniest, one of the funniest things
that's ever happened in terms of the thing I look back on laugh
the most. And those aren't the funniest
things, but for some reason they just make you laugh.
And that's the thing. Dawson Cleland says.
Dawson Cleland sounds like being Gossip Girl or something or the
UC. Would you?
And he's obviously a very cultured guy.
He says would you rather sit in a cake and eat a Dick or sit in
the deck and eat a cake? Sit in a cake and eat a Dick
every day of the week. Well, maybe not a Sunday,
because the Lord Jesus Christ might not love it.
Oh yeah, I'm going to. I'm going to talk about this
right just before we go, in fact.
No, I'll leave it. I'll leave it to talk about next
week. But but Shane McMullen, you know
what I'm going to talk about next week because I've got some
pretty exciting news from him and and we're going to talk
about it because I put out a request on Wednesday and he's
met that request. So we'll talk about it properly
during the week. Separate, I'm going to wrap up
this podcast. Sorry that it's a little bit
rushed, but still kind of all over the place with certain
things before I get into like a proper routine again, but really
wanted to get this episode out there.
Thanks for sticking with me and hopefully see some news that the
Limelight shows. So I didn't know whether RDS
there limelight shows, but there's an early and Late Show
on who knows what else will be. So tickets for that go out at 10
AM Friday morning. So probably by the time you
listen to this already be heard, I'll flood my social media with
it. So if you want to go, I think
it'll be really responsibly done.
But at the same time, if it's not for you, totally get that.
But I'm buzzing for it and hopefully some of you guys are
too. So tickets on my social media,
Limelight website, all that kind of thing. patreon.com/team Me
podcast, manscape.com. Have a look, see what you
reckon. I think it's pretty good, Good
gear. The promo code is Tea with me
and we have another sponsor that hopefully next week we're going
to be able to bring on as well. So it's exciting times for the
podcast. Appreciate you.
Keep drinking tea, keep living. The dream doesn't rhyme.
Thanks.