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Zippers, welcome to this episode
of the Team with Me podcast with

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me, your host, Shane Todd. 
Before we get into this episode,

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00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:21,080
let me tell you about a couple 
of things #1 is Patreon. 

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If you want to see some of the 
back catalogue team and me 

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00:00:23,640 --> 00:00:25,800
specials and be in the right 
place to watch all the upcoming 

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ones that we're going to be 
doing over the next while, you 

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go to patreon.com/team Podcast. 
The link is in the description 

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below. 
We've got it all up there. 

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We've got that. 
Make this up. 

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We have me and Kieran's tennis 
match. 

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Yes. 
Yep. 

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I mean, you forget about that's 
a deep cut, but you've got time.

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I challenge Kieran, do a tennis 
match down Hollywood and we got 

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an official referee who was 
bought and paid for by the 

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Goblin King Industries. 
We've got Who Wants to be a 

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Millionaire. 
We've got all the live ones. 

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If you want to see the T with Me
Live episodes, that's where you 

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watch them, The first stars in 
your eyes that we did in the 

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limelight. 
Speaking of 18th of December, 

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1st time we said it right, 
Ulster Hall T with Me live. 

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They've now gone on public sale 
because we sold the loading 

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Patreon. 
Now we've opened it to the 

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public. 
If you hear me talk about 

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anything in the episode and you 
want to know more about, go into

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the description for the episode,
that's where we put it. 

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She and talk comedy.com. 
If you want to come and see my 

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European shows, my Dubai show on
the 6th of December in the Zabil

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Theatre, it's all on sale. 
She and talk comedy.com and we 

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added a Millennium Forum Derry 
date as well. 

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Tea with me live in the 
Waterfront Hall, 29th and 30th 

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of November. 
Mickey Bartlett, William 

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Thompson, Dave Elliott and 
Andrew Ryan. 

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What a time to be alive. 
And then when that's when we've 

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done that and then it's filmed, 
where will it go? 

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Patreon. 
It's a circle of life. 

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This episode of TV Podcast is 
sponsored by none other than 

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Manscaped. 
These bloody no cases over at 

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Manscaped. 
Do you know what they can't do? 

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They can't just relax. 
They can't go. 

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We've conquered the male 
grooming industry. 

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00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:03,640
They're always coming up with 
something new, like the 

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chairman, The chairman pro. 
Yeah, chairman pro. 

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Because, you know, they could 
have brought the chairman 

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amateur, the chairman semi pro, 
whatever. 

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But they don't. 
They do the chairman pro. 

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And let me tell you, this thing 
is a razor for your face or your

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head as well. 
Like maybe you keep them the 

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same length. 
Like, umm, I think she and Ward 

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in The X Factor days. 
Yeah. 

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I'm not sure he still does it, 
but he is long hair now. 

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No, I thought he's going bald is
long hair now Turkey? 

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No, he always had a good 
hairline. 

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He just chose to shave it. 
And I think with long hair 

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manscaped is, is somewhere you 
could go because he's got a nice

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beard too. 
So there's products for all 

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styles, all looks, everything 
like that. 

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The chairman Pro is, is great. 
We have we have one of them here

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and we gave one away. 
We're giving one away in a 

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future episode coming up. 
William Thompson, keep your eyes

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00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:53,560
for that manscape.com musical 
tea with me for 20% off and free

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shipping. 
The link of course for that is 

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in the description. 
Ladies and gentlemen, my guests,

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my esteemed guests this week are
a return of favourite and a 

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first time guest. 2 comedians 
from here, from this part of the

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world that have that sell their 
wares in London. 

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Is that fair to say? 
Yeah, they sell their wares 

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right there. 
Yeah, they, they live it. 

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They live in London 11 work and 
that's where they gig. 

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But luckily for me they're on 
tour at the minute so they're 

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able to come in. 
My guests are Vittorio Angeloni,

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who's been on the pod many 
times, and John mirror. 

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Now here's the thing. 
I spoke to Victoria before the 

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start of this episode and I said
I've known John for years and 

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I've heard twenty different 
impressions of a surname. 

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I've heard a pronunciations, 
I've heard meagre, I've heard 

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Mar, I've heard mirror. 
I hear all different 

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pronunciations. 
So here's what I'm going to say.

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Please do this week's episode of
the Two With Me podcast with 

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Victorio Angeloni and John. 
We're just talking, I suppose, 

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we're talking about the 
influence of Italian, the 

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influence of Italian families in
West Belfast. 

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It's ice cream shops and foods. 
Scapa Teaching. 

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Morelli. 
No, but like Raffles. 

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Oh, Raffles is fish and chips, 
isn't it? 

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Yeah, because Vector's Cafe, 
which is like my family's, my 

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great granddad Vittorio and 
Victor's Cafe, was like ice 

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cream and fish and chips, but I 
think it was ice cream. 

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Was like the one plate. 
All your needs planned it. 

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It's the next chick in A. 
Muffles all over again. 

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Where? 
Where was it? 

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Castle Street and then Devis St 
It moved and then got part time.

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I think that's that's the story 
I've been told. 

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It could have been an insurance 
thing. 

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But you said but like they, it 
seemed like they came over here 

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and were like like the food, the
food isn't great, food scene 

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isn't great. 
Or ice cream must have been 

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substandard because all I feel 
like it took was like 3 Italian 

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families to come in and go. 
There's a gap in the market 

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here. 
Do you reckon we had ice cream? 

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That sounds like a really stupid
question as I'm saying it, but 

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like when did ice cream I? 
Feel like we'd have been late to

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come in. 
Ice cream. 

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Yeah, definitely. 
Like, if it wasn't for, like, 

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your family and two other 
families coming over, I don't 

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know if we'd have ice cream yet.
Wow. 

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Yeah. 
Maybe it would have been like 

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Ben and Jerry would have been 
The Pioneers of it. 

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They they had it shown up for a 
while, didn't. 

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Yeah, but they. 
And us. 

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You know they're black in town 
ice cream. 

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Do you hear that? 
That's one of my favourite 

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things ever. 
Ben and Jerry's on one Saint 

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Patrick's Day a few years ago 
released a commemorative Irish 

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ice cream and it was black in 
town. 

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Someone did not read past the 
headline on what is Irish? 

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What can we do? 
Irish coffee and chocolate or 

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something? 
Low hanging fruit, but Ben and 

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Jerry Adams, am I right? 
It was right there for them. 

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Yeah. 
I love that. 

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I live. 
Very done Intro, by the way. 

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It seems weird. 
We've just we've just gone into 

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the pub. 
But guys, great to have you Sean

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Ballamina tonight. 
Yeah, not that the breed. 

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Yeah, never done by Almena 
before. 

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Brilliant. 
The Brave Theatre is excellent, 

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run by good people. 
What's it like when it's like 

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half full? 
I don't know. 

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No, I've done, I'm joking, I've 
done that theatre as the comedy 

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club back in the day when there 
was. 

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So what would it like? 
They have won the big theatre 

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room, which is where you're 
going to be and it's brilliant. 

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But see if there would be like 
we sold 30 tickets and they have

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other rooms that are per like 
they have other like 30 capacity

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rooms. 
And you go, oh sweet, that'll 

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feel great in that room that 
it's built for. 

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And they're like, Nah, Nah, Nah.
It's in the theatre. 

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I'm like, why is it in the 
theatre? 

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Because the other rooms are 
brilliant. 

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But they just what they'll do 
like cabaret. 

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Yeah, they'll be like 2 tables 
in a 400 cup room with eight 

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people or I've done that kind of
thing before. 

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So I've I've played there when 
it's great and play there was 

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terrible. 
But it's it's great now like the

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way they do the tier seating and
there's brilliant. 

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OK. 
And there's a myth around Gig 

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and Ballymena. 
That it's shite. 

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The gig, the the myth is it's 
Bible Belt. 

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Like if you mention anything, if
you swear or mention anything 

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other than local politics and 
you've got to be on one side 

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local politics, they'll hate it.
Bullshit. 

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I have a great gig, Sir. 
Yeah, I would assume those 

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people aren't going to stand up 
comedy gigs. 

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Yeah, well, tonight is where I 
think I kind of fucked it. 

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It's Ireland versus the All 
Blacks. 

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So I. 
Feel like we're the All Blacks 

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intense. 
Do you what like? 

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Joe Biden said that, didn't he? 
He said that the Irish rugby 

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team beat the Black and Town. 
Yeah, he did, yeah. 

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And. 
You know what he was. 

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In a way he was right, but I 
think he was getting his dates 

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wrong. 
And you saw the when the England

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football team had like they're 
all swanky suits, right? 

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And they were did you not see it
was like the EUR, I think, and 

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all they had like their team 
photo and they're like, yeah, 

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you fucking sponsored by next 
yes, suits. 

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And they were all in black and 
tan. 

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Like those are the two options. 
And everyone was like, 

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deliberate. 
I feel like I'm a guy who's just

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been on fro. 
What do you call when you're on 

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frozen thought like I've been 
cryogenically thought and 

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usually like, have you not seen 
them? 

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And it's any reference from the 
last 20 years as two guys based 

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in London, where's the place 
around London where people, if 

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people here, we're talking about
Ballymena and going, you don't 

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want to gig there, it's actually
great. 

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But where's the place near you 
guys where people go? 

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Oh, if you've got a tourist 
show, not. 

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Near but like Hull is the like 
in England where people go, 

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that's just where everything 
goes to die. 

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00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,640
It is one of the grimmest places
I've ever been in my. 

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00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,960
Whole life, whole people say 
like, is it, It was, I know 

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00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,480
Milton Keynes like this, but 
people say it's like a 

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00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:33,080
manufactured people. 
They just, they just built it. 

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00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:36,080
Is that wrong? 
Yeah, it was Big Dock Hall. 

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00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,280
Is like a dock, like it's a 
shipping town. 

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00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:40,640
So I don't think it is that kind
of like it's like Bournville. 

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00:08:40,799 --> 00:08:45,360
We also just had a very strange 
night and Hull. 

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00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,320
Yeah, so. 
It was the point in the tour we 

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00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,040
were all just a bit fucking 
knackered. 

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00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,000
I thought you would say like 
Daddy Party and Hull. 

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00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:54,240
No, but it did feel like that 
was happening. 

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00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,480
Yeah, it felt like that was 
probably happening, but we 

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00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,880
weren't invited to it, right? 
There was nightclubs that had 

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that were in the building that's
in the shape of what a shop 

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00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:06,000
would be. 
Does that make any fucking 

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00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,280
sense? 
Where it's like a commercial, 

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00:09:08,280 --> 00:09:11,920
that building big, the whole 
front of it is a window, like a 

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00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:14,600
glass front. 
Yeah, but instead of it being 

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00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:17,200
like a Co-op, it's a nightclub. 
Right. 

200
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:18,080
OK. 
Yeah, Yeah, those. 

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Are just steamed up and you just
see these mad like lights. 

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00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,200
Yeah happening. 
And then we went to the pub 

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00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,320
after because hall was just so 
weird. 

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00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,680
We kind of needed to go to the 
pub and you know one of those 

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00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,640
where you're in the small room 
and then in the big room of the 

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venue. 
What was this, the Jersey Boys? 

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00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:37,280
No, no, it was. 
Sorry, the official no. 

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00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:40,720
No. 
Maybe to get a folk to you it 

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00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,440
was. 
A tribute act and because the 

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00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:47,720
guys, because after the thing, 
the guys, Van had a different 

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00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,640
band that he was also the 
tribute act. 

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00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:53,080
I was like, these guys are 
raking it in because they had 

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00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,960
filled a giant. 
Space it was. 

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00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,600
Big it was. 
Big I am. 

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00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,280
I mean, to be fair now you 
probably could. 

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00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,560
Frankie Valli. 
Like, he's still good. 

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00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:04,520
Do Hell, have you seen my 
impression of Frankie Valley? 

218
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:10,160
Please, please, Frankie Valley, 
Joe Biden. 

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00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:12,800
Zippers, let me interrupt you 
for a quick 2nd to tell you that

220
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:16,800
this episode of the TV Podcast 
is sponsored by our friends over

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00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,200
at Nord VPN. 
Here's the thing right now, see 

222
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,440
with these sponsors, they send 
you helpful info. 

223
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,480
They go, you could talk about 
this, you could talk about that.

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00:10:24,480 --> 00:10:27,520
See, with Nord VPN and not much 
of A believer. 

225
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,840
I'm not passionate in the 
product that Dan, you can turn 

226
00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,800
that off the screen, but don't 
actually in case I do need to 

227
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,640
reference it at some point. 
I'm about to do the 

228
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,520
international leg of the tour. 
I'm going all around Europe. 

229
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,240
I'm going to the Middle East and
the new year. 

230
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:43,240
At some point they'll be going 
to America and when I'm away 

231
00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,440
I'll be missing my Irish League 
football highlights. 

232
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,480
I'll be wanting to watch things 
on BBC iPlayer on ITV Player 

233
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,680
from here because I'm passionate
about local television. 

234
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,720
And to do that, like I'll go to 
do that and I'll go to log into 

235
00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:58,760
these apps and they'll say 
you're out of the country, 

236
00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:00,360
you're not in the right area for
this. 

237
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:04,840
That's where Nord VPN comes in. 
It's an app that you put on your

238
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:08,480
phone and the VPN sounds for 
virtual private networks or 

239
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:11,720
tricks your phone into thinking 
that you are wherever you need 

240
00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,760
to be. 
So you it does so much more than

241
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,200
that. 
But if you want to say actually 

242
00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,480
I am in Belfast, your phone 
couple of clicks think you're in

243
00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:21,600
Belfast, you access the content 
from there and that works for 

244
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,160
anywhere. 
You could say you're in America,

245
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,200
you can access America 
programming and highlights of 

246
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,280
sports, things like that you 
might like to watch. 

247
00:11:30,560 --> 00:11:34,400
There's also threat protection 
feature whenever you're using 

248
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:36,080
like Starbucks Wi-Fi or 
whatever. 

249
00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:37,640
With Nord VPN you'll be 
protected. 

250
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,880
Your personal information is 
protected. 1 Nord VPN account 

251
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:43,720
can be used in up to 10 devices,
which is absolutely brilliant. 

252
00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:46,640
To get the best discount off 
your Nord VPN plan, you go to 

253
00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:50,680
nordvpn.com/T with me. 
That's in the description and 

254
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:53,600
our link also gives you four 
months on the two year plan for 

255
00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,520
free. 
There's no risk with their 30 

256
00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:58,480
day money back guarantee and I 
say the link is in the 

257
00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:00,520
description for that. 
Thank you to Nord. 

258
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,360
Go check them out. 
They're absolutely amazing. 

259
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,560
I, I've told the story in the 
pub before, but I took my dad 

260
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:09,920
maybe six years ago to see the 
real Frankie Valley was doing, 

261
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:15,240
Eh, me in, in Manchester and 
then big fan Frankie Valley, me 

262
00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:18,800
and my dad big yeah. 
I'm like, I love Frankie Valley 

263
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:21,840
in The Four Seasons and my dad 
like always played that music 

264
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,000
for me. 
And Frankie was probably like 

265
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:28,080
early 80s or even mid 80s when 
we went to see him and that face

266
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,880
physically, you just go now and 
he gets up on stage and he is 

267
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:34,160
like young Four Seasons behind 
them and these guys are doing 

268
00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:36,400
all the heavy lifting. 
Like, they're great dancers, but

269
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:37,920
they're all like, in. 
There they were in a season. 

270
00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:41,840
These Frankie was a Weaver pasta
cell, but he. 

271
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,400
Is very winter. 
This guy gets up and he's like, 

272
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:46,520
no, And he's not dancing, 
obviously, but he's standing up 

273
00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:50,760
there and he's no perfect on 
everything, no falter, no 

274
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,800
perfect on everything. 
And everyone has this look where

275
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:56,320
they're going. 
He's lip syncing. 

276
00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:58,960
But fair play, he's there. 
It's still great. 

277
00:12:58,960 --> 00:13:02,200
And we're still seeing him. 
There's one guy in the whole 

278
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,560
arena who has no idea Frankie 
Valley's lip sync syncing. 

279
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,360
And he's beside me. 
My dad goes, what about that 

280
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:10,000
voice? 
And I'm, I'm being like, yeah, I

281
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,440
know, like lip sync. 
My dad goes still got it. 

282
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:17,920
I don't think he has it. 
I don't think he has it, but it 

283
00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,720
was a great night. 
I remember seeing that James 

284
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:21,640
Brown. 
I see. 

285
00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:26,600
I seen James Brown twice before 
he died, just before he was the 

286
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:28,680
support act for the Foo 
Fighters. 

287
00:13:28,920 --> 00:13:29,920
What? 
No. 

288
00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:33,080
Amazing. 
So the Foo Fighters and they 

289
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,560
hate it when oxygen was 
happened, they headlined oxygen.

290
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:38,320
Yeah. 
So Dave Grohl heard that James 

291
00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:41,720
Brown was broke and was like 
that's James Brown is not 

292
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:44,200
allowed to be broke so. 
I thought you were to say he 

293
00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:47,000
took a montage and was like. 
So early quarter, his entire 

294
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,800
back. 
Yeah, no, she took him on tour. 

295
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,840
And so the first time he seen 
him was oxygen. 

296
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:57,000
He was there when they were 
there and he had, I mean, I'm 

297
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,960
exaggerating, but not by a lot. 
400 people on stage playing 

298
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,960
different. 
No wonder. 

299
00:14:02,240 --> 00:14:04,440
It was all his sons. 
They were all his. 

300
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:07,480
It was all his kids. 
So one of them, one of them came

301
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:10,800
up and he introduces the whole 
band and they're doing an intro 

302
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,040
the whole time. 
But bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, 

303
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,040
bam, bam. 
But it just keeps going. 

304
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:19,640
James Brown, at my vantage 
point, I can see him in a 

305
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,720
wheelchair at the side of the 
stage in blankets, just like 

306
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:27,280
this. 
And then and again after, after,

307
00:14:27,440 --> 00:14:30,360
after this guy, his name checked
everyone in the band and he's 

308
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,640
like, OK, let's tell me. 
Ready for the Godfather soul? 

309
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:33,120
Everything. 
Yeah. 

310
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:37,320
James Brown gets out of his 
wheelchair and then you can 

311
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,600
literally see him like like pray
for some power and then he gets 

312
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,520
to the microphone. 
Hi, what does as we moves and 

313
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:49,600
then he just goes straight back 
to the wheelchair 6 times and 

314
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:54,400
the guy introduces the band 
again and and that happened no 

315
00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:58,800
joke, easily three times. 
And then about a year later I 

316
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:00,440
seen him support the Foo 
Fighters. 

317
00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,680
It might have been it might have
been a Belfast exact same thing.

318
00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:07,160
And the only other time I've 
seen that a person like a lead 

319
00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:10,200
singer in a wheelchair like that
was I seen Guns and Roses a 

320
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:14,000
couple of years ago and they 
were doing the West Ham Stadium.

321
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:17,400
And Axel Rose was the same. 
He was like Slash was doing it 

322
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:19,520
some like 20 minute long solo, 
yes. 

323
00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:22,280
And Axel was a side of the stage
just getting oxygen in the 

324
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:22,600
chair. 
But. 

325
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,840
What's his issue? 
Is it Is his a health issue? 

326
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:29,720
I know he, then he came on and 
now I'm going to sound like 

327
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,520
you're die here. 
Still got the voice? 

328
00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:35,440
No, perfect. 
You're not mad? 

329
00:15:36,160 --> 00:15:38,800
Yeah, no, perfect. 
He's brilliant, unbelievable. 

330
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,520
And then but he would hit the 
high notes to a song and you 

331
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:43,960
could see him ready to be like 
I'm going to die, back to I. 

332
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:50,320
Think he's climbing Everest? 
The stage cartoon. 

333
00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:51,600
He's black and. 
Fair play. 

334
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,880
Cheers, Brian. 
You can't. 

335
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,920
You can't just say he's blacking
out because he's up there doing 

336
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,480
so. 
Wait, I was still talking about 

337
00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,200
actually, I know, I know. 
So in a way. 

338
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,800
Did. 
You just drive. 

339
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:12,400
Me in the backseat, Mike Michael
Jackson when he was doing those 

340
00:16:13,160 --> 00:16:16,880
those comeback eggs that the O2.
They were like this one of my 

341
00:16:16,880 --> 00:16:18,640
favourite things in the 
documentary. 

342
00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:22,400
They're like you see him like 
doing rehearsals and his back in

343
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:26,040
dancers or meetings are the kids
like and they're it was in his 

344
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,080
writer. 
They were incredible. 

345
00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:31,760
And he's up there like and he's 
trying to sing and he can't move

346
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:34,040
like and probably like the 
wheelchair situation. 

347
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:38,040
And then the the promoter goes, 
if we have to cancel these 

348
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,960
shows, like if you can't do this
tomorrow rehearsals, we're 

349
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,040
cancelling these shows. 
You're liable for all this. 

350
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:46,760
They're like, here's Michael the
next day and I swear to God the 

351
00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:51,200
guys like Foot like fully like 
doing everything, like he's 

352
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:54,840
doing everything and he's out 
dancing these like 1920 year 

353
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:57,680
olds and like moving around and 
they're like, Michael must have 

354
00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:59,200
just the message really got 
through. 

355
00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:02,040
It was like, did the message get
through or did the needle get 

356
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,000
through? 
Also, then he died, yeah. 

357
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:08,839
Killed him to do that, yeah. 
They did them away room in the 

358
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:10,400
O2. 
There's like a special secret 

359
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,359
Michael Jackson room in the O2. 
That feels like a trap, like. 

360
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,200
I think that's true. 
You go through a dressing room 

361
00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,560
and then there's like a secret 
door that's like a bookshelf. 

362
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,680
What was in the room? 
You don't want to know. 

363
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:26,119
Was all those kids? 
Nightmares collected nightmares.

364
00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:27,319
Yeah. 
So he's got because he did like 

365
00:17:27,319 --> 00:17:28,160
a month. 
Yeah. 

366
00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:30,560
Yeah. 
But then so because Peter Kay 

367
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:33,240
recently broke that record of 
like most nights at the O2, like

368
00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,000
his residency thing, you think 
Peter Kay has a room at the O2? 

369
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,960
Do you just get A room? 
Just full of garlic bread. 

370
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:43,000
Moment. 
Silence. 

371
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,680
You'll have a room at the Opera 
House events. 

372
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:47,720
I would love that I'm too behind
the record, the overall records.

373
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:51,400
The record. 
I've got the record for solo 

374
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:57,040
performer but I'm too off the 
overall record which is 26 

375
00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:00,400
performances and that's hardly 
I'm working on wise. 

376
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:02,360
Which is what I'm working on 
wise. 

377
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:07,840
Lauren Hardy I'm working on Wise
so I feel like I'll just do like

378
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,400
and I don't care if it doesn't 
sell 1 ticket, I'll just put on 

379
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,760
three shows, not take it and 
then just have the. 

380
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:14,920
Right. 
Yeah, I was going to say, is 

381
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,680
that, yeah, no new material. 
I'll just be there, building 

382
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:19,080
more than everyone. 
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

383
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,600
Class. 
Yeah, but I would love like, but

384
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,640
I don't like, like. 
I don't take advantage of 

385
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,480
dressing rooms or anything. 
I just like everyone to be in 

386
00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:27,000
the one space. 
Yeah. 

387
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,080
I don't whether like you can go 
separately. 

388
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:31,600
Like we've been on tour since 
like January and I don't like 

389
00:18:32,080 --> 00:18:34,680
unless it's a real fucking pokey
place where it's like one chair 

390
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,800
at a table. 
It's like, can we all just like 

391
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:39,200
sit in a place because it's a 
lonely enough yeah thing. 

392
00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,400
What's been the low point of 
tour? 

393
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,320
What's been high pointed to? 
Oh my. 

394
00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,800
Oh my God. 
Low. 

395
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,200
Low. 
Boy. 

396
00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:51,080
Why here? 
I will say this as much as that 

397
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:53,840
is a room. 
So where did you play? 

398
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,280
Did you play Dilly's room? 
Very close to my heart. 

399
00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,920
Love it when it's pumping. 
One of the best clubs. 

400
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,640
Everybody says it's the best 
room in the world and not me. 

401
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,320
Here's an issue. 
Here's an issue getting food 

402
00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:05,960
around it. 
Oh, no, the food was great. 

403
00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:08,920
We went for it. 
We had a great yeah. 

404
00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:11,240
There's your main wise, one of 
the best. 

405
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,760
Here I'd go back to the 
restaurant show wise and as long

406
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:16,560
as I don't have to go into daily
again. 

407
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:19,520
It was so bad Chain. 
A friend of mine from OMA who 

408
00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:23,240
wasn't at the show messaged me 
and was like, I heard that was 

409
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:27,320
really bad. 
Because I go on before the 

410
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,200
support act, so I have. 
You played it before? 

411
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,400
No, right. 
It is brilliant, right? 

412
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:33,760
It's just I've been doing but I 
think. 

413
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:35,720
Love might be good. 
But this just makes it worse. 

414
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:40,480
Yeah, this just makes it worse. 
OK, so I go on for like 5 or 10 

415
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,720
minutes before bringing on the 
Sport Act, you know, say hello. 

416
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:47,640
Also, the context of this is the
night before was vector 

417
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:48,760
straight. 
Yeah. 

418
00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:52,720
OK, first like the biggest show 
of the tour vector straight the 

419
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,920
night before unbelievable buzz 
like never felt anything like it

420
00:19:57,640 --> 00:20:00,520
and then Oh my, you're like this
will be a good formal back in 

421
00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:01,960
the clubs, you know, like having
a good time. 

422
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:06,000
I go on and like I've basically 
got like a little 5 minute thing

423
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:09,640
that I've written before. 
I bring on the sport act and. 

424
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:14,840
Just like doesn't really land 
and I'm like, OK, maybe I'm 

425
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,360
like, you know, performing a too
big because I was at a bigger 

426
00:20:17,360 --> 00:20:19,640
place yesterday. 
And then I'm like, Oh well, 

427
00:20:19,640 --> 00:20:21,920
maybe chat to them a bit, like 
maybe like they've seen the 

428
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,080
crowd work videos or whatever. 
I'll do a bit of that. 

429
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,800
Not nothing, nothing, nothing 
gets anything. 

430
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:31,920
And small town thing of like you
go, what's your name and 

431
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,520
somebody else. 
I was like. 

432
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:36,560
Oh, that's fucking Brandon. 
Yeah. 

433
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:40,280
Yeah, you know, I know Brandon. 
And I go, no, I'm not from here.

434
00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:43,200
He's some crack. 
He's not. 

435
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,320
He's just staring at me. 
Yeah. 

436
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,040
Yeah, yeah. 
So I nothing and then I'm just 

437
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,480
like OK and I just kind of do 
the little bits. 

438
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:52,760
I go kind of brilliant sport act
good friend, please on stage. 

439
00:20:52,920 --> 00:20:55,720
I'm like I've gotten when I 
would like some people say like 

440
00:20:55,720 --> 00:20:58,480
0 laughs. 
I mean, actually, yeah. 0 

441
00:20:58,480 --> 00:20:59,120
laughs. 
Yeah. 

442
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,120
I go bring John on and I'm just 
like, I'm sorry. 

443
00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:04,040
Like I was just thinking. 
I was like. 

444
00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,840
I was like, I'll turn this 
around, don't worry. 

445
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:09,680
No, the cavalry's here. 
Yeah, it's fine. 

446
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,800
I'll get this. 
No, I was like 5 minutes and I 

447
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,400
was like, well, that's all the 
material. 

448
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:19,120
And I just never got cool. 
And then break and I come on for

449
00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,640
the second-half and. 
And it's all the worse because I

450
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:24,320
I've got these fucking giant 
inflatable bowling pins. 

451
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:27,520
Yeah. 
Yeah, yeah, you put effort into 

452
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:28,800
it's. 
Just feel insane. 

453
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,400
I'm there and like going on with
sunglasses on. 

454
00:21:31,600 --> 00:21:33,720
I've got like a boat. 
Like it's a whole custom bowling

455
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,480
shirt thing. 
There's a point to show where I 

456
00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:39,200
lie down. 
I don't know, it's just like I'm

457
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:40,760
just. 
And then the end of the show is 

458
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,760
a fucking nightmare. 
I basically like Scream for like

459
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,400
the last five minutes of the 
show. 

460
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:46,960
Big glows. 
It's insane. 

461
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,800
And just silence. 
Yeah, I'm just there, like. 

462
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,480
You're just in a room and. 
I'm like, there's March at the 

463
00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,800
end, but don't talk to me like 
fuck you, yeah. 

464
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,800
Yeah, yeah. 
And I just like just drive back 

465
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:04,360
from Oma, it's just so long 
drive and then Ulster Halls the 

466
00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:06,280
next night, right? 
Is that good? 

467
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,560
I mean, isn't like best 
whatever, but it was just with 

468
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,960
the highs and lows in three 
days, yeah. 

469
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,120
Now let me Give your opinion on 
this. 

470
00:22:14,120 --> 00:22:18,920
We'll talk about turn as well. 
I go for a quick piss before we 

471
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:20,560
record. 
When I'm downstairs, there's a 

472
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:24,000
book in the bathroom. 
What is that? 

473
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:30,080
We get some mail on a regular 
basis from a fan, OK. 

474
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,160
Of books about gold, right? 
What? 

475
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,280
And it's affection. 
Fun fact about God, Yeah. 

476
00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,000
Sorry that the Bible. 
No, there's. 

477
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,520
No Bible. 
There's God. 

478
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:42,840
God in the title of I didn't get
a proper not church. 

479
00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:44,960
Yeah, the God do not. 
Really, it's not really your 

480
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:48,080
type of no, it's it's a sort of 
self published. 

481
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:50,440
That's not really my kind of 
book because it's a book. 

482
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:58,080
Does it pop up then? 
No, but I wonder what your 

483
00:22:58,080 --> 00:23:01,160
opinion on that is. 
Are you guys a a book in the 

484
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,240
bathroom guy? 
Because I find that the weirdest

485
00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:06,040
thing. 
People are like. 

486
00:23:06,240 --> 00:23:09,360
I was for bed, I was trying to 
not bring my phone in for a shit

487
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,280
and I was trying to be a book 
person. 

488
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,360
But how long you there for like?
Less time than when I'm on my 

489
00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:18,360
phone. 
I drank a lot of coffee, so not 

490
00:23:18,360 --> 00:23:20,360
long. 
Yeah, but it but exactly. 

491
00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,800
But I can't understand these 
novel, the idea of sitting 

492
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,240
there. 
No, but it's not for people who 

493
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,160
don't like their lives. 
Like they're not. 

494
00:23:28,160 --> 00:23:32,240
They're, yeah. 
They're just please, please, 

495
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:36,920
God. 
I can, I can just be. 

496
00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:40,320
You hear Dad say that all the 
time where it's like, that's the

497
00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:45,120
only time I'm by myself, Yeah. 
Jerry Staunton to the Jerry's 

498
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:47,680
brother every place. 
So he went to see his brother 

499
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,640
and I think his brother has a 
Reiki kids. 

500
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,400
They're all all girls and that's
who he's the only man in the 

501
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,840
house. 
And Jerry called to the door and

502
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:59,680
his brother's wife, he goes, Oh 
yeah, he's up at his looking 

503
00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:02,800
window. 
And he was like, what? 

504
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:06,560
He goes upstairs and James 
brother just does like a window 

505
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:10,240
that he goes to look at like 
like that's his place. 

506
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:12,480
I mean. 
That's very open us being. 

507
00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,760
That's very. 
Dependent on what it overlooks. 

508
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:17,560
Just fails. 
Not no, thank God, Yeah, yeah, 

509
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,560
no, no, yeah, yeah. 
In the middle of the country. 

510
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:21,240
But he's like, that's where he 
goes to. 

511
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,920
I like that though, yeah. 
Yeah, yeah. 

512
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:26,600
What? 
Would you want to look at I once

513
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:28,440
stayed in a flat in New York 
that overlooked the football 

514
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:29,520
stadium. 
That was very. 

515
00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:30,520
Cool. 
Oh, that'll be great. 

516
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:33,000
I like, I like, just like people
watching. 

517
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:37,480
I'd feel weird from a window. 
I like sit at a cafe, especially

518
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,640
if you're on holiday or 
something, Watch people go by. 

519
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,280
What is, what do you think they 
do for a job? 

520
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:42,840
All that kind of stuff. 
Reacher Settler? 

521
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,240
Do you ever play the Reacher 
settler game? 

522
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:45,280
No. 
Couples. 

523
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:47,160
Yeah, who's reaching? 
Who's settling? 

524
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:50,400
Oh yeah, that's a good, but that
is fun. 

525
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,200
Umm, John, I don't. 
I stayed at your house in London

526
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:56,480
years ago for a gig. 
Do you remember this? 

527
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:58,560
Yeah, this was. 
Well, also because. 

528
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:02,880
This wasn't our sordid history 
of I give you the worst gig 

529
00:25:02,880 --> 00:25:04,640
ever. 
No. 

530
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:08,280
No, no, no was before that. 
No. 

531
00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,720
OK, but that was in return 
because I don't know if you 

532
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:12,920
remember but the first. 
Time in my house because in 

533
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,320
Edinburgh I don't know that that
happened. 

534
00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:20,280
So I I went to I went to 
Edinburgh, this is years ago and

535
00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:23,160
there this was a classic. 
I turned up in the Airbnb didn't

536
00:25:23,160 --> 00:25:26,400
exist so I booked an Airbnb for 
like the. 

537
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,280
Concept. 
I booked what I thought was a 

538
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,360
building and then I got there 
and it wasn't. 

539
00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:32,280
That's pretty. 
Classic. 

540
00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:34,240
Yeah. 
And I was like, what? 

541
00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:37,280
I didn't know this would happen.
It was at the really early 

542
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,120
Airbnb days, like. 
And I was like, oh, what do I do

543
00:25:40,120 --> 00:25:42,680
now? 
And put a thing on Facebook And 

544
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,200
we didn't even know each other. 
And you messaged me and was 

545
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,200
like, here, I heard you're 
stuck. 

546
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,920
There's a spare room of mine. 
Do you remember this? 

547
00:25:52,760 --> 00:26:01,120
And we so I was like, that is 
very kind and someone, while you

548
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:07,400
were there, I think Jamone came 
to look at the flat to see if he

549
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:11,800
was going to buy it. 
That's right, I think it was. 

550
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:17,520
So I'm in a flat for the month. 
Yeah, this is. 

551
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:18,600
It was nice. 
Yeah. 

552
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,880
It was so long ago that it was a
nice flat that you could afford 

553
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:24,440
then like. 
My mate let me stay in it. 

554
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:28,120
He played rugby over in 
Edinburgh and I bought that 

555
00:26:28,120 --> 00:26:31,800
while he was playing and he just
gave me it for free and he went 

556
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:34,880
the. 
The only thing is he's like two 

557
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:36,280
things. 
Number one, I need you to sound 

558
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,360
the worked up for me. 
I went great, I'll get someone 

559
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:42,400
to do that, got my dad at it. 
And then secondly, he goes, 

560
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:45,720
people will come and view it. 
So I might need you to like nip 

561
00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:47,720
out at certain times. 
And I was like, yeah, of course,

562
00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,120
no problem. 
And then the estate agent would 

563
00:26:50,120 --> 00:26:52,000
get in touch me and be like, 
someone's coming at 4:00, 

564
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,800
whatever. 
And then one time they were 

565
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,640
doing like a last minute viewing
on the stage when you don't need

566
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:57,960
to like, leave. 
Like, we'll just bring the 

567
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,320
person in. 
And I was just like sitting in 

568
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:03,320
the kitchen doing some work. 
And then Jim Wong Crane, like 

569
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:06,600
just can't his comedy face just 
like Crane around the door. 

570
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,800
And I met him before. 
So it was like, it was great. 

571
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,840
But yeah, I remember. 
I remember that, but I don't 

572
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:13,000
remember. 
Yeah. 

573
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:16,720
Being being so nice. 
So that really last thing I told

574
00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:18,720
you then we guy was like, if 
you're ever in London, you need 

575
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,200
somewhere to stay. 
The next night I'm like, I'm 

576
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:25,200
here, yeah, but I can't remember
what gig I did, but I remember 

577
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,200
your, your, your hospitality was
very nice. 

578
00:27:28,920 --> 00:27:30,800
Yeah, it's not when. 
Did you move over? 

579
00:27:31,320 --> 00:27:33,840
11 years ago. 
But you didn't get here 

580
00:27:33,840 --> 00:27:34,480
beforehand, did. 
You. 

581
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:35,480
I did. 
No. 

582
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:39,160
So I went over to visit a friend
of mine and he lived with a 

583
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,280
comedian. 
I was like, didn't even know how

584
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,400
you do comedy. 
Classic thing. 

585
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:46,800
And that guy signed me up for an
open mic while I was there 

586
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,320
visiting. 
Did that, came back, did the 

587
00:27:49,320 --> 00:27:53,000
pavilion, did White's Tavern. 
Oh, yeah. 

588
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,200
And there was nothing else, 
right? 

589
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:57,560
And I was like, I'm just going 
to move to London, right? 

590
00:27:57,720 --> 00:27:59,680
And did that. 
And then you guys built a 

591
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,720
empire. 
I was like, I'm watching, I'm 

592
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,080
not gonna do it. 
Good. 

593
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:06,320
There's nothing Start. 
Yeah, there's nothing happening 

594
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:07,040
here. 
I'm leaving. 

595
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:11,360
That's like, I think we've got 
the knowledge and get to energy.

596
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:12,720
Yeah. 
I see you later. 

597
00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,520
I'm doing open mics in the 
fucking basement for the next 

598
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,680
century. 
Bringers for six. 

599
00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:17,800
Years. 
Yeah, Yeah. 

600
00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:20,600
I'm doing a Barry Manlos that 
residency in Hull here. 

601
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,440
Yeah, dirty Dicks on the 
Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday.

602
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:27,160
Actually went that a lot of 
people will know that's a real 

603
00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:29,640
place I went. 
I went there once because people

604
00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:30,720
were like they'll just put you 
on. 

605
00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:34,440
This is like 12 years ago to me 
more and I went and the guy I 

606
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:36,520
was like, I'm a comedian. 
Could I get and the guys not 

607
00:28:36,520 --> 00:28:39,400
fully booked and I didn't have 
the confidence to just leave 

608
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,000
then. 
So I stayed and watched the 

609
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,280
show. 
Oh my God. 

610
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,600
That's so bad. 
And I can't stress how bad that 

611
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,120
would have been. 
Yeah, like it was our comedy. 

612
00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,760
Or bad. 
Gigs in London worse than gigs 

613
00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:54,640
here, if that makes sense. 
Yeah, because my general feeling

614
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,840
is you'll have audience here and
the audience over there, 

615
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:01,680
especially when you're starting 
out, is a room of open like 

616
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:04,040
comedians. 
But there'll be guys doing 

617
00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:08,680
comedy who are open mikers that 
have been doing it for 20 years,

618
00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,080
not exaggerate, like who are 
mental to not stop. 

619
00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:17,800
So you don't like stop, stop. 
You may have not. 

620
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,560
And there's people who do it as 
like, oh, it's a social thing, 

621
00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,080
not them. 
That's I mean guys who are like,

622
00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:26,840
I am going to make it. 
I am that guy and I live through

623
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,080
my. 
Motivation Coach. 

624
00:29:28,080 --> 00:29:30,520
Yeah. 
Oh, I was doing this the other 

625
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:32,560
day to someone. 
Whenever anyone says to me, I'm 

626
00:29:32,560 --> 00:29:33,880
thinking to stop and I'm like, 
you should. 

627
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,360
Why would you? 
If you're not happy, why would 

628
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:40,000
you keep going? 
Yeah, stop. 

629
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,200
Especially if you're 20 years in
and you're still doing dirty 

630
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:44,560
Dicks and you're not even 
headline. 

631
00:29:45,280 --> 00:29:48,320
Yeah, you're doing 7 at the end.
But then they have the the 

632
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,760
bringer thing, which people here
won't get at all. 

633
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:53,160
Comedians here don't even get 
where you have to first stage 

634
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,160
time. 
You have to bring audience 

635
00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:57,080
members with you. 
Yeah, 1, generally 1. 

636
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,720
And in New York, I know those 
places you have to bring like 3 

637
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,640
or 4 people. 
Yeah, but London generally, it's

638
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:06,040
like you have to bring one 
person along to the and what 

639
00:30:06,040 --> 00:30:09,800
ends up happening as comedians 
just like like Exchange Bringer 

640
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,080
Ring. 
So you just like go and watch 

641
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:14,440
some shit open mic so that 
somebody else would come to 

642
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:16,800
yours like the next week. 
But my girlfriend did it for 

643
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,720
fucking like ages for me and 
that was a real Empress. 

644
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:23,920
I was doing a gig and Camden 
called Funny Factors. 

645
00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:30,560
I remember once they're all, 
they're all so weird. 

646
00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:32,200
I'll tell you how hard I dislike
that. 

647
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,480
The only thing worse was at a 
festival down South once. 

648
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:40,160
I can't remember who was on but 
they they called our show the 

649
00:30:40,880 --> 00:30:44,920
the Nordy invasion or something.
I know the term Nordy obviously 

650
00:30:44,920 --> 00:30:49,080
doesn't offend me in any way, 
but it's just Nordy and Thacker 

651
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:52,040
are two of the worst. 
Nordy feels very. 

652
00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:57,440
The Nordy factor three of us. 
Oh God, yeah, we we all just 

653
00:30:57,440 --> 00:30:58,960
hate it. 
People are still coming up like 

654
00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:01,040
I can't with these guys, but 
everyone's embittered. 

655
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:02,680
Because of the title. 
Yeah, sorry. 

656
00:31:03,080 --> 00:31:05,200
So. 
And they're also weird, like 

657
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:07,400
they have these little, like 
they have their open mic night 

658
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:09,760
that they're on and they're 
buzzing about and it's like a 

659
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:11,840
bringer. 
And the pretence is always like,

660
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,480
it's a bringer until we can 
build up like a like a local 

661
00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:17,000
audience. 
And then once it's down, we'll 

662
00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,760
do like a pro night and start 
paying everybody. 

663
00:31:19,280 --> 00:31:21,920
This had been a bringer for 
eight years. 

664
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:23,600
Yeah, it's never happened that 
that's happened. 

665
00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:26,800
Almost. 
Almost always full, like it was 

666
00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:31,000
always ram to the girls for the 
people and they would like turn 

667
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,560
audience members away like 
actual punters. 

668
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,760
They were like, oh sorry, 
there's too many comedians mates

669
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:39,880
in there. 
But they don't want to be there.

670
00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:43,000
They made the plus one does the 
broad. 

671
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,000
Nobody wants to be there. 
The comedians don't want to be 

672
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,560
there, the people don't want to 
be there. 

673
00:31:48,560 --> 00:31:50,360
The bar doesn't want you there. 
But they're. 

674
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,000
Also precious about their way 
thing. 

675
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:54,320
I remember Mickey was overdoing 
the store. 

676
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:57,800
He was like closing the Comedy 
Store and I was like, he was 

677
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:58,960
staying with me. 
That was the first time I 

678
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,040
properly met Mickey. 
I was like, he's over to stay. 

679
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,560
He's just doing like a torture 
or whatever. 

680
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,080
And then it came to stay with me
and my girlfriend. 

681
00:32:05,080 --> 00:32:07,560
One like the funniest thing ever
of my like little English 

682
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,960
girlfriend. 
Meeting Mickey hungover for the 

683
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,160
first time, just like in his 
pants in our corridor. 

684
00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:16,920
Just I'm sorry. 
For the lightsaber he's brought 

685
00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:20,680
with the only thing he's packed 
a lightsaber and fear head 

686
00:32:20,680 --> 00:32:22,240
shuttle. 
Sorry, daughter. 

687
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,480
But I said to the guy running 
this like, Oh my, everybody's 

688
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,720
doing 5 minutes. 
And I was like, oh, I've got a 

689
00:32:29,720 --> 00:32:30,800
meet over. 
He's doing the story. 

690
00:32:30,800 --> 00:32:33,560
He's coming to like watch just 
because Mickey was like, like, 

691
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:34,720
oh, come watch for sure. 
Whatever. 

692
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,160
And I was like, is it? 
Is it like a spot for him? 

693
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:39,400
And the guy was like, yeah, but 
he can only do 5. 

694
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:41,520
I was like right? 
But why? 

695
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:42,960
Yeah. 
What? 

696
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:44,680
All these people are shit. 
I'm shit. 

697
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:47,440
But they treat it like it's a 
prehistoric. 

698
00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:51,080
It's a true like this is set and
still do 5 can't be changed, you

699
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,560
do. 
Five, yeah, Anyway, same gig, a 

700
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:57,440
different time because you just 
go back for more once you once 

701
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:00,080
you've got the bug. 
And I was upstairs. 

702
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:01,840
My girlfriend was my bringer at 
the time. 

703
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:06,160
We stood there. 
It's us 2 and then two comedians

704
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,040
or like very open mic shit 
comedians and they're have an 

705
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:14,160
argument about who had the worst
relationship with their dad and 

706
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:16,160
who was on more mental health 
medication. 

707
00:33:16,760 --> 00:33:18,680
And my girlfriend grabbed me by 
the arm and went. 

708
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:20,680
You need to get a lot better at 
this very quickly. 

709
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:23,720
Yeah, well, she can go and see 
you had a choice. 

710
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:26,040
Yeah. 
Yeah, yeah, she chooses not to 

711
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,600
know, but at least she has the 
choice. 

712
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:32,760
The Nord, the Nordy thing was 
anytime we were going to get 

713
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:34,960
done, so I thought was always, I
think Galway and then we did. 

714
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,920
There was a Dublin one. 
I was like, when people get like

715
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:41,120
a little, I like when they come 
up here and say stuff wrong, you

716
00:33:41,480 --> 00:33:42,840
know what I mean? 
Like I remember there's a 

717
00:33:42,840 --> 00:33:45,600
comedian from Galway was on it 
like Laveries, and he was like, 

718
00:33:45,600 --> 00:33:47,320
I'm from the West and I was 
like, you're not. 

719
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:50,280
Yeah. 
That's not what that means. 

720
00:33:50,560 --> 00:33:53,000
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 
I'm from the West. 

721
00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:58,000
Is I feel I used to go over and 
do like I used to at the very 

722
00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,720
start I would get the cheap 
those like 12 LB flights to 

723
00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:03,920
London and do like do you 
remember monkey business? 

724
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:05,440
Is it still? 
Oh my God. 

725
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:10,520
Yeah, yeah. 
The guy in the in the purple for

726
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:14,400
a fedora or like the top is. 
His name? 

727
00:34:14,440 --> 00:34:16,239
I will go. 
I remember going over those and 

728
00:34:16,239 --> 00:34:20,199
I was like this is like this is 
the epitome of gig in there. 

729
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,840
So I booked like 12 LB flights. 
Aussie could only afford the 

730
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:27,000
like 7:00 AM flight over there 
and the show was at 10:00 PM at 

731
00:34:27,000 --> 00:34:28,480
night. 
And you spend all the money you 

732
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,360
saved on the flight on food 
during the day just. 

733
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,199
In cost or or. 
Whatever. 

734
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,280
You spent £30 on coffee. 
And then I would ask to go on 

735
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:38,000
like people on the one early at 
that, but I'd be like, put me on

736
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,719
as late as possible because I'd 
be getting the like midnight or 

737
00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,000
1:00 AM bus to the airport, 
sleep in the airport. 

738
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,920
And I remember the week I 
thought those gigs were like. 

739
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:49,199
This is so like this is you 
practising for Diary of Aceo, 

740
00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,880
yeah. 
Yeah, man. 

741
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,400
I of course I wouldn't do that 
because of fuel, because I'm 

742
00:34:55,400 --> 00:35:01,800
fueled by fuel. 
The I remember doing that and we

743
00:35:03,040 --> 00:35:05,720
there was nobody in the room 
except the comedians. 

744
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:08,520
We don't need to do this. 
Let's just say we've done, yeah.

745
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:12,400
Which is the dream for me, Yeah.
You know, the dream is you book 

746
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,360
a gig now, classic, a book for a
gig especially. 

747
00:35:14,360 --> 00:35:18,360
And then the dream when you got 
there is like, we're pulling the

748
00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:19,400
gig and I'm like, I've got 
you're. 

749
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,120
Still getting paid, but you're 
still getting. 

750
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:23,880
Oh yeah, no, no, no. 
There was no getting paid at 

751
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:26,960
Monkey Business. 
But so we're up there and I'm 

752
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:28,200
like, right, Well, there's no 
one here. 

753
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,400
So. 
And he goes, no, no, no, I'm 

754
00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,160
going to go round downstairs and
ask. 

755
00:35:32,160 --> 00:35:35,480
It's, it's in Camden, right? 
So like, quite touristy. 

756
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:40,400
And he brings up five people, 
Nobody speaks English. 

757
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,200
And he's like, the gig is going 
ahead. 

758
00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:47,240
And at that point, I'm like, I'm
now in, yeah, yeah. 

759
00:35:47,480 --> 00:35:53,040
I'm like, I now want to see how 
everyone does, not just me. 

760
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:55,720
I'll actually probably stay 
longer than that. 

761
00:35:56,800 --> 00:36:00,280
And after the first guy, three 
of them got up and left. 

762
00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:03,800
So now just two French people. 
I remember one of them at a 

763
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:11,640
twirly moustache character and, 
and it was, I was like watching 

764
00:36:11,640 --> 00:36:14,360
breakdowns, you know, my own as 
well. 

765
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,280
And that is the London comedy 
scene. 

766
00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:20,360
Do you love but you like? 
Do you love it as a city? 

767
00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,920
Yeah, I do, yeah. 
Yeah, it's a brilliant place 

768
00:36:22,960 --> 00:36:26,040
because once you like. 
I mean, not just comedy. 

769
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:29,160
Yeah, I think it took me like 
two or three years to be like, 

770
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:32,040
oh, like I was. 
And then when I left uni, 

771
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:34,200
because my uni was like in the 
middle, like kind of the financy

772
00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:39,560
bit and I was like, like, once 
you don't have to go to the mad 

773
00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,680
bits, like the really busy 
touristy bits. 

774
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:44,920
Like I hate Oxford Street, I 
hate Lesters Grant, I hate all 

775
00:36:44,920 --> 00:36:47,480
those, like it's just too 
fucking much. 

776
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,160
But I love where I live where 
there's like parks and like 

777
00:36:51,160 --> 00:36:54,240
lovely, like leafy bits and like
all chill like, and I know where

778
00:36:54,240 --> 00:36:57,240
the good kebab shop is. 
And like, although the owner of 

779
00:36:57,240 --> 00:37:00,280
the my favourite kebab shop, 
I've just joined the gym and he 

780
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:03,440
goes to the gym and that fucks 
my head up every time I'm in 

781
00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:05,240
there, right. 
It's like, what are you doing 

782
00:37:05,240 --> 00:37:08,000
here? 
Yeah, but I but to be fair, like

783
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:11,560
that's a lot of like when he 
when they're shaving that meat, 

784
00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,800
like that's that's upper body, 
like that's that's core, that's.

785
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,040
Why they like how? 
You do it like it's a sword. 

786
00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:18,520
Yeah, it's like Mickey with the 
lightsaber. 

787
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,120
Conan, Yeah. 
Well, what? 

788
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:22,120
Why? 
That is what they do. 

789
00:37:22,320 --> 00:37:23,000
Yeah, they know. 
They. 

790
00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:25,280
Yeah, but not like that. 
It was just particularly 

791
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,640
graceful. 
Maybe that's my true call. 

792
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:29,520
Strictly come back and of course
the calls. 

793
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,480
Can do. 
You can get you on there. 

794
00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:37,280
You know what, I I love London, 
but I, I started going, maybe I 

795
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,280
should appreciate it more 
because when you see how other 

796
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:42,480
people appreciate and love being
in London, I started watching 

797
00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:43,920
the Paddington movies from my 
kids. 

798
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,000
Oh yeah. 
And what Aunt Lucy would give 

799
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:50,160
for an afternoon in London. 
Like that's her dream, that's 

800
00:37:50,160 --> 00:37:54,560
her live stream and the way she 
looks at London and the way 

801
00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:56,320
Paddington looks at London. 
You go. 

802
00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:00,200
I should appreciate being here 
because it is such a historic. 

803
00:38:00,240 --> 00:38:02,720
It's amazing city. 
Whenever I moved there, my 

804
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:05,640
friend said like you get out of 
it what you put in, which is 

805
00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:08,480
basically the same everywhere 
but London is you can find 

806
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:11,920
yourself going there, working, 
only staying in your flat 

807
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,840
because everyone's so expensive 
you can't do it. 

808
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:17,560
But if you make the effort to go
out and go to see stuff, gigs, 

809
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,360
all that, it's amazing. 
Did you do a Paddington that at 

810
00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:22,480
the start when you moved over? 
Make sandwiches. 

811
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:24,640
No, just put getaway kill the 
thing your neck. 

812
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:28,360
We kill the queen sign Ranger. 
Pardon Paddington, the scion of 

813
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:30,320
Death. 
Paddington Bear. 

814
00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:31,960
Yes, he takes people. 
He's like the. 

815
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:33,680
Paddington Bear is he's the 
fairy man. 

816
00:38:33,680 --> 00:38:35,760
He's the fairy man. 
Takes people on the river 

817
00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:37,520
sticks. 
Man, this is mad. 

818
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:40,760
If you've missed this, do you 
all know all the stuff of 

819
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,720
Paddington and the? 
Let's play a new game. 

820
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:47,800
Assume I don't know things. 
Though this is, I mean, yeah, 

821
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,200
like being. 
About the beloved we're talking 

822
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:53,640
about. 
And the beloved Red Hat, some 

823
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:55,920
would say. 
Yeah, Bear cool. 

824
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:58,320
Marmalade sandwiches. 
Marmalade sandwiches. 

825
00:38:59,240 --> 00:39:03,800
Very gentle for a bear. 
Well, well, what about when 

826
00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:06,600
Knuckles McGinty says, eh starts
calling off Lucy? 

827
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:08,040
And I didn't. 
Above them. 

828
00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:14,960
Paddington has the stair. 
If you know, you know. 

829
00:39:15,160 --> 00:39:16,680
The bears there like the Care 
Bears there. 

830
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,560
If if you piss Paddington off 
enough, he'll just give you a 

831
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,640
stare to remind you that yeah, 
but. 

832
00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:26,320
Yes, I forget that we forget 
that he's a bit. 

833
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,880
Well, that's it'll. 
Remind you like I'll never 

834
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,840
forget. 
Yeah, you'll remind, but sorry, 

835
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:33,840
tell me about the ferryman. 
Yeah, so Paddington. 

836
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:37,440
So when the Queen died, everyone
was like, you know, completely 

837
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:38,760
lost the run of themselves over 
there. 

838
00:39:39,080 --> 00:39:46,600
And the the icon that people 
latched onto for some reason was

839
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:48,360
Paddington Bear. 
Because he was mates with her 

840
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:51,200
only. 
Yeah, good pals so Paddock so. 

841
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:52,960
Was that sorry? 
Was that for the Olympics? 

842
00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:54,880
What was before she was holding 
Paddington Henderson. 

843
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:56,520
Yeah, she made sandwiches and 
all or something. 

844
00:39:56,520 --> 00:39:58,840
Remember, she's got she had a 
Marmadade sandwich in her bag. 

845
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:00,080
Yeah. 
But then. 

846
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:03,560
There was all these pictures of 
him leading her to like heaven. 

847
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,720
Yeah, so people like, and people
started leaving marmalade 

848
00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:08,520
sandwiches out there. 
And the police were like, 

849
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,520
please, please stop leaving 
marmalade sandwiches outside 

850
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:14,640
Bucket Palace. 
We created away all the homeless

851
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:16,280
people. 
So they're not 90 photographs. 

852
00:40:16,560 --> 00:40:18,880
So we have no use for this 
anymore. 

853
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,120
Yeah, but I'm Paddington. 
Since every time somebody dies 

854
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:26,480
now, there will inevitably be 
Paddington Bear is the one 

855
00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:31,280
shepherding into the afterlife. 
Captain Tom, Who else has died 

856
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,240
recently? 
Liam Payne. 

857
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,360
Liam Payne. 
Now what's sad about that is it 

858
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:38,880
looks like Paddington's dead 
too. 

859
00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,040
Because he's going. 
He's he's. 

860
00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:43,560
There's a point where he's. 
He exists on the set. 

861
00:40:43,560 --> 00:40:45,000
He's a. 
Bringer to a point. 

862
00:40:45,160 --> 00:40:48,000
He does that thing in movies, 
you know, It's like I can take 

863
00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,280
you no further, yes. 
Yeah, awful Paddington. 

864
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:54,000
I can take you no further. 
I can take you no further. 

865
00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,600
Ben Wishaw. 
He's in one of my favourite. 

866
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,840
The original cast of one of my 
favourite plays called Mercury 

867
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:01,640
Fur. 
His character would have said a 

868
00:41:01,640 --> 00:41:03,840
lot of slurs in that. 
Oh yeah, yeah. 

869
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:06,240
So it's a thing in the play 
where they say they don't just 

870
00:41:06,240 --> 00:41:08,080
call people like the slur that 
applies to them. 

871
00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,600
They call the other people in 
the play, like every slur in a 

872
00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:11,400
row. 
Right. 

873
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:12,960
And it's mad. 
That's how they get away with 

874
00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,400
it. 
I say all of them. 

875
00:41:14,400 --> 00:41:14,880
It's OK. 
I'm. 

876
00:41:15,080 --> 00:41:17,000
Doing that. 
I'm doing that. 

877
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:18,040
I'm just. 
Saying there's too many of. 

878
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:21,600
Doing mercury fires. 
And he's Peruvian. 

879
00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:24,800
We only want the good ones. 
There's nothing like from the 

880
00:41:24,800 --> 00:41:27,680
different companies like them, 
ones who voted Brexit after they

881
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:29,520
get in. 
I just think they should learn 

882
00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,840
the language. 
He has a passport now, 

883
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:34,320
Paddington A. 
Pass No, he didn't. 

884
00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:36,440
They came out and clarified 
that. 

885
00:41:36,480 --> 00:41:39,080
So someone from the Home Office 
was like, we're giving patents 

886
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:43,120
to the passport and a journalist
asked #10 And they were like, we

887
00:41:43,120 --> 00:41:46,080
don't know anything about this. 
No, but no. 

888
00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:49,920
But they had done it. 
So I I heard that like so, the 

889
00:41:49,920 --> 00:41:53,240
makers of the new Paddington 
film Paddington in Peru and the 

890
00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:55,320
next one's going to be called 
Paddington in Rwanda. 

891
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:05,120
But. 
But they like the. 

892
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,800
By the way, that'd be a great 
movie because you could bet he 

893
00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,400
would make the most out of that 
experience. 

894
00:42:09,840 --> 00:42:11,280
Is this what you're saying the 
refugee should do? 

895
00:42:11,560 --> 00:42:17,200
No, I think, no, I think, But I 
think that the detention centre 

896
00:42:17,200 --> 00:42:19,720
would be a brighter place if 
Paddington was around, just 

897
00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,920
keeping everyone's spirits up, 
because that's what he does in 

898
00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:23,320
prison. 
In the second Paddington movie. 

899
00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:26,520
He's in there in gaol and he 
now, he fucks. 

900
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:30,760
He fucks it at the end. 
What he's doing in prison, a 

901
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,800
bear in prison, he makes him 
having some fun. 

902
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:38,760
No, he OK Brendan Gleeson's in 
it. 

903
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:40,720
He's Knuckles McGinty in the 
film. 

904
00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:43,200
Yes, Brendan Gleeson is a scary 
chef in the prison. 

905
00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,080
Paddington being sent to gaol 
for a crime he obviously didn't 

906
00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:47,160
commit. 
Pankton wouldn't do that. 

907
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:49,760
It's not in his nature. 
Paddington's in the Guildford. 4

908
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:53,200
that's. 
What he would say that he didn't

909
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:55,400
do it. 
Meanwhile, he's planning the 

910
00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,960
Queen's assassination. 
Paddington, like in Fire Sticks,

911
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:04,000
you know, So Paddington is 
having a great that panic. 

912
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,880
Brandon Gleason is the chef. 
He's serving up this. 

913
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:11,080
Way Who's this real Brandon 
Gleason I. 

914
00:43:11,080 --> 00:43:12,840
Thought it was Jeremy Allen 
White in the Bear. 

915
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:17,080
No, right. 
Just just let me say this. 

916
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:18,880
Would you make sense? 
Right. 

917
00:43:19,120 --> 00:43:21,040
Yeah. 
In the Paddington movie, Brandon

918
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,840
Gleeson plays the chef. 
He's serving up this grill for 

919
00:43:23,840 --> 00:43:26,280
them morning, noon and night. 
The prisoners don't like it. 

920
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,040
There's a terrible attitude 
around the place. 

921
00:43:28,920 --> 00:43:32,360
Paddington basically is like, 
oh, why does everyone not like 

922
00:43:32,360 --> 00:43:34,360
the food? 
And they go, we can't say to the

923
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:37,720
chef that we want to change. 
Paddington goes, I'll say it to 

924
00:43:37,720 --> 00:43:39,960
him, and everybody's hard, man. 
Oh shit. 

925
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:42,000
Everyone's like panic, but 
pounding goes up. 

926
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:46,240
And of course, in comical style,
Paddington doesn't just say we 

927
00:43:46,240 --> 00:43:49,040
get nicer food panic, there's a 
bit of slapstick. 

928
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:54,400
Anyway, Brandon Gleason, playing
the chef, pecks Paddington up by

929
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:58,040
the scruff and he's able to 
attack him when all of a sudden 

930
00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:03,440
Paddington's sandwich that's 
under his hat falls in the the 

931
00:44:03,440 --> 00:44:06,680
chef's mouth by mistake and he 
tastes that marmalade. 

932
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:09,320
I said what the hell is? 
This How long has he been in 

933
00:44:09,320 --> 00:44:11,840
prison at this stage? 
Paddington. 

934
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:17,120
Yeah, days. 
But Paddington's got a better 

935
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:23,680
heat on them because Paddington 
in Georgia, you know, Padding 

936
00:44:23,680 --> 00:44:26,960
doesn't need toasted sandwiches.
Padding on laundry duty, That's 

937
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:30,440
his job. 
In prison, by accident, he puts 

938
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:34,640
a red sock in with a stripy 
black and white prison uniforms.

939
00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:36,800
So he turns all the prisoners 
uniforms pink. 

940
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,840
So all the prisoners are going 
to murder Paddington. 

941
00:44:40,720 --> 00:44:42,840
This thing happens with a chef. 
They go if you can get the menu 

942
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:46,080
changed, will not beat you up. 
It turns out the chef loves 

943
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,080
Padding. 
Padding starts making marmalade 

944
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:49,240
sandwiches for all the 
prisoners. 

945
00:44:49,360 --> 00:44:51,960
Then they're doing cakes, all 
different types of stuff and the

946
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,920
prison becomes a better. 
Every Thursday. 

947
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,240
So what I'm saying is, if 
Paddington was in the Rwanda 

948
00:44:57,240 --> 00:44:59,800
detention centre, I'd say he 
would just. 

949
00:44:59,920 --> 00:45:02,720
He would just you put a few 
strings and all of a sudden 

950
00:45:02,720 --> 00:45:05,480
patent would do a padding doors.
What, you just make you feel a 

951
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:06,800
little bit better. 
Affect her. 

952
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:08,920
He's like Wolf from Pulp 
Fiction. 

953
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:12,160
Yeah. 
I like that they turn the 

954
00:45:12,160 --> 00:45:16,320
uniforms pink because that is 
what your man in Texas did. 

955
00:45:16,680 --> 00:45:18,200
You know, it's the the like, oh 
the. 

956
00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,200
Shame the prisoner. 
Yeah, the shame the prisoner. 

957
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:22,880
So the makers of Paddington were
like, yeah. 

958
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:25,000
We need. 
Another idea. 

959
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,480
Hugh Grant in the paddock, the 
movie and he's he's incredible, 

960
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:28,640
brilliant movie. 
Everyone's. 

961
00:45:28,640 --> 00:45:30,600
Everyone's. 
Yeah, I mean, it's Matt. 

962
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:32,880
Brandon Gleason is one of the 
best actors of his generation. 

963
00:45:32,880 --> 00:45:36,000
It's so funny that he's got a 
fucking teddy bear but. 

964
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:40,120
What I'm saying is, panicking 
Brendan Gleason then starts to 

965
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:42,480
be a wee bit slight upon it, and
then panning gives him the stare

966
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,680
equally. 
I swear to God it's not 

967
00:45:44,680 --> 00:45:50,000
dissimilar to that. 
Paddington's Autistic News Flash

968
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:53,680
breaking news. 
That's why he only eats one 

969
00:45:53,680 --> 00:45:54,840
thing. 
He. 

970
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:57,720
Goes in the trains, yeah. 
He loves trains. 

971
00:45:57,720 --> 00:45:59,840
He loves a weird way he. 
Eats one thing. 

972
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,760
And he only eats 1,000,000. 
Dollars, yeah. 

973
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:08,120
Guys, I love Paddington. 
But so the, the props department

974
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:10,000
contacted the Home Office, they 
were like, is it all right if we

975
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:13,120
make like a spoof passport, like
could you send us like what 

976
00:46:13,120 --> 00:46:14,640
materials you use and any of 
that stuff? 

977
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,680
And the Home Office were just 
like for a bit of crack, we'll 

978
00:46:17,680 --> 00:46:20,760
just give Paddington a passport.
That's a bit of fun. 

979
00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:23,640
Notoriously good crack. 
The British Home Office, Yeah. 

980
00:46:23,720 --> 00:46:27,400
Yeah, it. 
Was good guys and yeah, they 

981
00:46:27,400 --> 00:46:30,640
just they like sent them out one
and like did a little like just 

982
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:33,240
a good bit of PR. 
I thought it was quite nice and 

983
00:46:33,240 --> 00:46:36,360
the like everyone hit the fan. 
They were like what? 

984
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,880
This is a fucking waste of 
government. 

985
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:40,120
Like we can't. 
Get Yeah, yeah, about these 

986
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:43,600
bloody Peruvian bears coming 
over here and they get passports

987
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:45,440
and I can't even get a dentist 
appointment. 

988
00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:47,200
We're trying to go to Turkey in 
two weeks. 

989
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:50,240
I'm sweating on my son's past. 
And someone said he's trans as 

990
00:46:50,240 --> 00:46:51,720
well. 
And that's I don't think that's 

991
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,360
OK. 
And we have been the things that

992
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,800
we spend our money. 
Jane Paddington know, like he 

993
00:46:55,800 --> 00:46:57,720
knows what's called. 
So Paddington is like checking 

994
00:46:57,720 --> 00:46:59,560
for Irish ancestry. 
He's like, I may as well get the

995
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,600
Irish one too. 
So he's like making sure he's 

996
00:47:01,600 --> 00:47:03,840
got that. 
Then it opens a floodgates for 

997
00:47:03,840 --> 00:47:06,880
fictional characters having 
passports, real passports. 

998
00:47:06,880 --> 00:47:08,480
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 
Yeah, wreck it Ralph. 

999
00:47:08,560 --> 00:47:11,080
He could do something. 
I got told I look for Vance's 

1000
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:13,400
daughter, told me I look like 
the mechanic and wreck it Ralph.

1001
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,800
Yeah, such a nice reference. 
That's. 

1002
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,680
Pretty spot on. 
Have you seen the picture? 

1003
00:47:20,240 --> 00:47:23,000
Yeah, I looked them up. 
When you look like somebody from

1004
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,880
a movie, I've jet. 
I swear to God, I was about to 

1005
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:27,640
go ragosing and drive. 
I looked up the guy in Wreck It 

1006
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:30,160
Ralph and then I was like. 
He's just like a nice mechanic 

1007
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:31,520
toy. 
I understand that. 

1008
00:47:31,560 --> 00:47:33,760
I actually got spots on my eyes.
I was like, what happened there?

1009
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,200
He has big ears. 
I didn't like it. 

1010
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,120
Do you not like Big Ears? 
Have I said this in this podcast

1011
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:40,280
before? 
I really like Big Ears. 

1012
00:47:41,800 --> 00:47:43,720
I'm such a big fan of Big Ears. 
I think they're the coolest 

1013
00:47:43,720 --> 00:47:44,800
thing ever. 
That's why he's got me in 

1014
00:47:44,800 --> 00:47:47,120
support. 
You have very. 

1015
00:47:47,240 --> 00:47:51,920
You're very you have very long 
ears, if you don't mind. 

1016
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:54,440
Me saying but not like I love 
the people. 

1017
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:59,560
Just listen to this. 
So 2 guys without touching. 

1018
00:47:59,560 --> 00:48:02,160
Yeah, you. 
Both just stop talking and 

1019
00:48:02,160 --> 00:48:05,560
started moving your ears and to 
anyone listen just this is. 

1020
00:48:05,600 --> 00:48:07,560
I don't know if I'm doing it. 
You are, you are. 

1021
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,760
Can you do your nostrils? 
I can do nostrils big time. 

1022
00:48:12,440 --> 00:48:17,120
Bottom lip just. 
Oh, that's, that's great. 

1023
00:48:17,560 --> 00:48:19,680
That's great. 
Never met anyone else who can do

1024
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:21,320
that, no. 
You do this. 

1025
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:28,200
Man, that's what made Steve 
Coogan famous. 

1026
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:32,240
No Rob Brad, Rob Brydon, but. 
To be fair, that helps Steve 

1027
00:48:32,240 --> 00:48:34,680
Coogan because when Rob Brydon 
did it on their show. 

1028
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:36,320
Yeah. 
More people saw it. 

1029
00:48:36,440 --> 00:48:38,880
You excited for side pan? 
No, because that's important. 

1030
00:48:38,880 --> 00:48:41,440
Didn't get. 
It I this is for FA useless FAI 

1031
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,760
coach. 
No official FF. 

1032
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:45,640
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 
We're reading through the and 

1033
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:47,040
Roy King goes, Where's the 
fucking boss? 

1034
00:48:47,040 --> 00:48:47,960
And you go. 
I don't know. 

1035
00:48:48,200 --> 00:48:49,640
Think that's bad? 
I auditioned for Jean 

1036
00:48:49,640 --> 00:48:51,120
Mcconville's son and say 
nothing. 

1037
00:48:52,320 --> 00:48:53,120
Did you get close? 
No. 

1038
00:48:54,480 --> 00:48:58,240
They weren't, no. 
I. 

1039
00:48:58,640 --> 00:49:00,200
The kind of like famished. 
Skinny. 

1040
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:01,520
Yeah. 
We're like, we need someone who 

1041
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:03,840
looks like, you know, things 
haven't gone very well. 

1042
00:49:04,160 --> 00:49:06,720
And I was like, all right, let's
get this fat guy who looks like 

1043
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:09,600
he's never missed a meal. 
And very jolly, actually. 

1044
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,760
I not FA so that. 
I was so buzzing about. 

1045
00:49:13,760 --> 00:49:15,880
I was like this more. 
I I work because I have the 

1046
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:19,120
shirt right? 
Like that year's Ireland shirt I

1047
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:20,800
wore that you? 
Didn't get it. 

1048
00:49:21,080 --> 00:49:23,480
So I said. 
I wore the shirts. 

1049
00:49:23,680 --> 00:49:25,760
I said. 
That saves money on costume. 

1050
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:29,280
I was on holiday when that 
audition came in and I went, 

1051
00:49:29,840 --> 00:49:32,960
this is like, this is what I've 
been searching for because this 

1052
00:49:32,960 --> 00:49:35,680
is perfect. 
Being such a big football fan, 

1053
00:49:35,960 --> 00:49:40,040
being such a big Roy Keane fan 
and a Steve Coogan fan, it's all

1054
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:42,280
come together and this is 
perfect. 

1055
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:44,680
It's nice to comedic like light 
relief in a dramatic. 

1056
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:48,960
Thing the parts already well. 
Here, here's what someone said 

1057
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:51,480
to me. 
They're excited for your tape. 

1058
00:49:52,400 --> 00:49:54,160
Now, with hindsight, not getting
that. 

1059
00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,280
They're probably like excited to
just watch it in the office and 

1060
00:49:56,280 --> 00:50:00,160
be like, Nah. 
So I did the audition in 

1061
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:02,240
Majorca, right? 
And I was like, this will be 

1062
00:50:02,240 --> 00:50:03,280
great. 
That's very near where they 

1063
00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:04,480
filmed it. 
Oh, yeah. 

1064
00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:06,160
They filmed in Tenerife, I 
think. 

1065
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:09,840
Tenerife was, yeah. 
So I am I was like this, this 

1066
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:12,640
will be this will be great and I
was so excited for it. 

1067
00:50:13,160 --> 00:50:15,040
I had a real buzz. 
I was like, I've this is 

1068
00:50:15,040 --> 00:50:16,920
perfect. 
I thought I really nailed it 

1069
00:50:16,920 --> 00:50:18,840
because. 
The scripts great like that, 

1070
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:20,480
those two scenes that you read 
for. 

1071
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:23,320
Great bit of fun. 
Great, and you feel the 

1072
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,640
character. 
But my mates playing Roy Keane. 

1073
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:28,120
OK, I thought you were going to 
say, but we need to find out 

1074
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:31,000
who's going to play our role. 
Oh, this is what I need to find 

1075
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:32,360
out. 
It better not be Michael Frye. 

1076
00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:38,840
If it's that same if you're, 
what if you take this another 

1077
00:50:38,840 --> 00:50:42,240
role from me? 
I was from yesterday, they're 

1078
00:50:42,240 --> 00:50:44,880
doing an RTS catch show. 
I did a little cameo. 

1079
00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:47,800
Hello little stupid role. 
Don't work with my girlfriend, 

1080
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,920
fucking lovely and talented as 
Michael Frye is. 

1081
00:50:52,160 --> 00:50:56,040
We don't work with Michael Frye.
And you're just. 

1082
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:58,560
Not my role for dairy girls. 
Oh, no, I know the audition. 

1083
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,120
Don't worry, I know. 
That a better performance. 

1084
00:51:00,440 --> 00:51:02,080
It's the framework. 
But I took that personally. 

1085
00:51:02,120 --> 00:51:05,120
Have you ever seen the other 
Michael Jordan on the other side

1086
00:51:05,360 --> 00:51:07,800
of the I think I'm seeing 
people's tapes. 

1087
00:51:08,520 --> 00:51:14,120
No SO. 
My wife wrote a thing and she 

1088
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:17,280
got all the tapes through force.
For her auditioned. 

1089
00:51:17,520 --> 00:51:21,600
For her auditioned and like, 
firstly, I was like, tell you 

1090
00:51:21,600 --> 00:51:23,240
what, some actors are incredibly
talented. 

1091
00:51:23,240 --> 00:51:28,080
Like secondly, I was like, some 
are terrible and also is like 

1092
00:51:28,160 --> 00:51:30,440
some of them I knew because it 
was like a comedic. 

1093
00:51:30,440 --> 00:51:37,640
So yeah, and but there was 
that's where I was like, Oh 

1094
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:39,840
yeah, they're very good, but 
like they're actually too short.

1095
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:41,360
That's very good. 
Oh no, but they're too tall, 

1096
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:42,840
like. 
It's the tiniest thing. 

1097
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,760
Yeah, and it is like, oh, no, 
didn't like, oh, gone done. 

1098
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,960
Oh, you don't like gone, done. 
I was like, Oh my God, this is 

1099
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,760
terrible. 
I did 1A pretty big one couple 

1100
00:51:51,760 --> 00:51:56,320
days ago in here and and for the
first time I took my time with 

1101
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:58,360
it. 
So it's way better than anything

1102
00:51:58,360 --> 00:52:02,480
I've done. 
I don't get it, but I, I Dave 

1103
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:05,080
Elliot's done like a load of 
stuff recently like blue lights 

1104
00:52:05,080 --> 00:52:08,720
and some dramas type stuff that 
are coming out and he's killed 

1105
00:52:08,720 --> 00:52:11,280
he's. 
Very good and blue. 

1106
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:14,960
Lights, but I got him to sit 
with me and we were like, I know

1107
00:52:14,960 --> 00:52:18,640
I'm like I so many times. 
We finished the podcast and it's

1108
00:52:18,640 --> 00:52:21,240
3:15 and I'm like, I've got to 
pick kids up at half three. 

1109
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:25,720
Let's shoot this audition and 
I'll do the lines once, like say

1110
00:52:26,040 --> 00:52:28,600
I'll fuck up the lines, fuck up 
the lines, say it once done. 

1111
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:31,920
And then I'm like, perfect. 
And I never watch a car print. 

1112
00:52:32,440 --> 00:52:34,800
But and it's not a thing of I'm 
like, that was great. 

1113
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:37,400
I, I, I don't like the idea of 
watching myself back. 

1114
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,480
Yeah, I feel weird. 
Acting from the anyone? 

1115
00:52:39,480 --> 00:52:43,480
So, yeah, but this was the first
time I, like, watched it, slowed

1116
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,000
it down, took on a bit of advice
and all that kind of thing. 

1117
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:49,760
So what I'm saying is, Michael 
Frye, you're acting days. 

1118
00:52:49,880 --> 00:52:51,720
You're not. 
No more rules for you, my 

1119
00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:53,960
friend, because I've cracked. 
I know how to audition though. 

1120
00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:55,760
You better start a pension. 
Michael Frank. 

1121
00:52:55,760 --> 00:52:57,840
Yep. 
The best, The best one I ever. 

1122
00:52:57,840 --> 00:52:59,480
Did sorry, even in his own 
biopic. 

1123
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:02,360
I'm playing Michael. 
I'm not he's not getting that 

1124
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:04,360
role. 
If they're like we're playing, 

1125
00:53:04,600 --> 00:53:07,160
it's a biopic of Michael Frye 
set in present time. 

1126
00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:08,680
That's I'm going to Michael 
Frye. 

1127
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:12,600
Michael Frye. 
The problem will be if you're 

1128
00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:15,600
ever doing the biopic and 
Michael Frey gets the job then. 

1129
00:53:15,840 --> 00:53:17,360
How do you feel about that? 
Would you put him in it? 

1130
00:53:18,360 --> 00:53:21,360
But I would you, would you? 
Really like what you did. 

1131
00:53:21,360 --> 00:53:24,440
He couldn't buy you. 
He could play himself and 

1132
00:53:24,560 --> 00:53:27,240
because that would be great for 
that 20 minute section of the 

1133
00:53:27,240 --> 00:53:29,560
movie dedicated to our beef, me 
and Michael Frey. 

1134
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:31,480
OK, I think. 
I could see me and Michael. 

1135
00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:35,560
Frey IPAN type thing. 
He's my he's Mick McCarthy. 

1136
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,680
Let me so, Steve. 
Coogan plays Michael Frey. 

1137
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:41,760
Steve Coogan plays Michael Frey 
and I'm Michael. 

1138
00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:43,320
What takes me this film? 
Is amazing. 

1139
00:53:45,680 --> 00:53:49,320
Paul Maskell's in Paul Maskell, 
please your dad. 

1140
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:51,960
I'm going to see like I've taken
my son to see a couple of 

1141
00:53:51,960 --> 00:53:56,920
movies, so in the cinemas with 
Dawson Coin, I'm going to go and

1142
00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:00,400
see Gladiator and that will be 
my first time me going to see a 

1143
00:54:00,400 --> 00:54:02,320
film since Once Upon a Time in 
Hollywood. 

1144
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,240
I'm going back to the cinema for
Gladiator 2. 

1145
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:08,200
I'm back in the cinema all. 
Yeah, that's my you're on the 

1146
00:54:08,200 --> 00:54:09,120
road. 
What do you do? 

1147
00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:11,640
Just during the day. 
Me and Willie T when we're on 

1148
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:15,000
the road. 
Yeah, Jim Son and Nando's Percy 

1149
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:18,480
Pigs at M&S. 
That's our day, every day. 

1150
00:54:18,840 --> 00:54:22,240
I'm a little bit Paddington. 
We have the same day every. 

1151
00:54:22,240 --> 00:54:24,640
Day, a little bit of rock and. 
Roll and well, he does look like

1152
00:54:24,640 --> 00:54:26,720
Paddington, yeah. 
So we have this scene. 

1153
00:54:27,360 --> 00:54:29,640
Yeah, yeah, Willie wore a blue 
Anarch and a Red Hat. 

1154
00:54:29,640 --> 00:54:30,560
Forget about it. 
He's. 

1155
00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:31,880
Close. 
He's very. 

1156
00:54:31,880 --> 00:54:34,040
Close. 
That would be no socks and 

1157
00:54:34,040 --> 00:54:35,600
shoes, just down around the 
limelight. 

1158
00:54:37,320 --> 00:54:42,880
Here's our day on tour and we're
gonna we're gonna have hotel 

1159
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:47,120
breakfast at about half 8-9. 
We're gonna have breakfast. 

1160
00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:49,480
Why do you what are you doing at
the hotel? 

1161
00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:51,120
Breakfast. 
Premier Inn type thing. 

1162
00:54:52,440 --> 00:54:55,800
Finds a hotel. 
I'll go, I'll go like a motel 

1163
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:58,040
one. 
OK, yeah, I mean if. 

1164
00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:01,240
Premier Inn's handy or whatever,
then yeah, Premier Inn just 

1165
00:55:01,240 --> 00:55:03,280
depends where we are. 
You have to cook breakfast. 

1166
00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:04,920
This is what this was. 
The question was, are you doing 

1167
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:06,440
like full? 
Cook, I have a pops. 

1168
00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:08,640
Really you want to know? 
My system of course. 

1169
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,240
I'm bringing in my own plastic 
bag. 

1170
00:55:11,240 --> 00:55:13,520
First of all, shut the fuck. 
Up what are you talking about? 

1171
00:55:15,360 --> 00:55:18,440
And they probably let you in. 
Yeah, of a plastic bag. 

1172
00:55:18,440 --> 00:55:21,160
We still so I just did cork 
there. 

1173
00:55:21,440 --> 00:55:23,440
I'll show up to the hotel 
breakfast with a carrier bag. 

1174
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:27,400
Best cards, Best cards ever. 
Also important to note, amazing 

1175
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:29,000
food everywhere. 
Right. 

1176
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:31,360
So, but you're bringing a 
plastic bag he. 

1177
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,080
Doesn't go to food places 
either, he goes to Nando's. 

1178
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:35,800
There's no I get. 
I know, I understand. 

1179
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:37,400
That, but at the hotel, 
transcends food. 

1180
00:55:37,480 --> 00:55:40,120
What are you bringing that? 
They open up, opening soon, a 

1181
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:43,640
forest side as well. 
What's in the bag? 

1182
00:55:43,640 --> 00:55:44,880
That's what That's what I hear 
you ask. 

1183
00:55:45,720 --> 00:55:48,080
So in Cork, I'll tell you what. 
Was in that bag. 

1184
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:55,640
I had some element purchase, 
potassium, magnesium, sodium. 

1185
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:57,840
So what I'll do as soon as I 
walk out? 

1186
00:55:57,960 --> 00:56:01,160
And by element you meant I like 
as in like the elements. 

1187
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,960
The company LMNT. 
OK, OK. 

1188
00:56:04,000 --> 00:56:05,200
I don't know what that is. 
Yeah. 

1189
00:56:05,800 --> 00:56:10,920
Sodium Electroly. 
Those are just elements on the 

1190
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:11,600
periodic table. 
Is. 

1191
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:13,840
That look at it sport, right? 
No. 

1192
00:56:14,520 --> 00:56:17,480
So I go in and. 
It's boarding a bag I. 

1193
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:21,280
Stay a break from comedy. 
I go in iti go in. 

1194
00:56:21,280 --> 00:56:23,320
You work there, right? 
I do. 

1195
00:56:23,640 --> 00:56:26,720
Hypothetically. 
We've got to go back to comedy. 

1196
00:56:27,840 --> 00:56:30,440
What's happened there? 
You work, You work in the Motel 

1197
00:56:30,440 --> 00:56:32,240
One, are we? 
This podcast is. 

1198
00:56:32,280 --> 00:56:34,960
Real you work in the Motel One. 
I work in the motel one. 

1199
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:38,400
And I want you to play. 
I want you to be Michael Frye 

1200
00:56:38,400 --> 00:56:40,040
playing someone working in a 
Motel One. 

1201
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:41,960
So you work in the Motel One 
now? 

1202
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,160
No, I'm just coming down from. 
I'm playing, you playing. 

1203
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:47,640
I'll walk in, right. 
You. 

1204
00:56:48,120 --> 00:56:50,320
You say. 
I'm sorry. 

1205
00:56:50,320 --> 00:56:52,320
What's your name? 
No, just. 

1206
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:56,000
No, if we're doing that, we're 
doing a chain if this is an 

1207
00:56:56,000 --> 00:56:56,640
intent. 
Motel. 

1208
00:56:56,640 --> 00:56:59,280
Why you're not getting that? 
One Motel 1 might be. 

1209
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:02,480
Watching, Yes, but but why? 
No, No, yes. 

1210
00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:03,840
OK, OK, OK. 
OK. 

1211
00:57:05,640 --> 00:57:06,880
Sorry, what's your what's your 
room number? 

1212
00:57:07,320 --> 00:57:16,160
04/01. 04/01. 
I apologise. 

1213
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:17,600
He's one of these guys. 
No, it's fine. 

1214
00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:18,720
I find you. 
I find you. 

1215
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:21,760
I find you Great. 
Sir, if you just want to take a 

1216
00:57:21,760 --> 00:57:23,520
seat on your Jack would like 
some tear coffee. 

1217
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:26,440
Could I just get a cup of 
boiling water first, please? 

1218
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:32,200
Yes, yes, you can. 
So I'm sensing an attitude here.

1219
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:35,760
I don't think that's a that's a 
big deviation from tear coffee. 

1220
00:57:35,760 --> 00:57:37,960
Just if I can get a couple. 
Yeah, no problem. 

1221
00:57:37,960 --> 00:57:40,280
We can do that. 
Yeah, for one, what's that? 

1222
00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:44,560
You don't need the. 
Well, you're in, you're, you're 

1223
00:57:44,720 --> 00:57:46,760
technically in my hotel. 
So what is my business? 

1224
00:57:46,760 --> 00:57:48,120
Yeah, but I can. 
Yeah, but. 

1225
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:53,240
So I don't like your attitude. 
First of all, I'm going to get 

1226
00:57:53,240 --> 00:57:54,880
my manager. 
This is my manager. 

1227
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:58,120
This is when I go when I'm going
to get my bear to give you a 

1228
00:57:58,120 --> 00:58:00,600
stare. 
OK, so yeah, no problem. 

1229
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,560
Here's here's your hot water. 
Thank you. 

1230
00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:08,880
Take my hot water electrolyte 
pouch in what I had in cork in 

1231
00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:14,160
my bag as well. 
We skip a creatine, stir that 

1232
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:18,320
up, get my vitamin D tablet. 
Imagine you're SAP beside that. 

1233
00:58:18,440 --> 00:58:21,600
Well, that's why I asked you put
in a corner because I don't want

1234
00:58:21,600 --> 00:58:22,360
anyone to see. 
Me. 

1235
00:58:22,440 --> 00:58:24,840
Nobody puts baby in the corner. 
Then I have this. 

1236
00:58:24,840 --> 00:58:28,200
Is serial killer. 
Behaviour in there I have oh. 

1237
00:58:29,240 --> 00:58:31,000
Michael Fassbender, yeah, that 
is. 

1238
00:58:31,000 --> 00:58:35,960
Thank God you didn't say Fry. 
And I have a little, you know, 

1239
00:58:35,960 --> 00:58:42,640
like a Chinese spice plastic, 
little plastic container, right,

1240
00:58:42,640 --> 00:58:43,960
that you might have in a 
restaurant. 

1241
00:58:43,960 --> 00:58:45,480
They would have all their 
different spices there. 

1242
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:46,840
Or like a house. 
Yeah, yeah. 

1243
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:50,760
Or in a house. 
I have that with almond butter 

1244
00:58:50,760 --> 00:58:52,120
in it. 
What I put almond? 

1245
00:58:52,160 --> 00:58:54,880
Butter in it because I know 
they're not going to have almond

1246
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:55,840
butter. 
Yeah, fair enough. 

1247
00:58:55,840 --> 00:58:59,720
That's fair, so I'll order. 
Can I get the porridge with just

1248
00:58:59,720 --> 00:59:02,920
water or almond milk please? 
Yeah, which, which would you 

1249
00:59:02,920 --> 00:59:04,440
like? 
Almond milk? 

1250
00:59:04,760 --> 00:59:07,760
Sure, please. 
Perfect, I get that scoop in my 

1251
00:59:07,760 --> 00:59:09,360
almond butter. 
To the porridge. 

1252
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:12,720
To the porridge and then I'm 
going to go up to the fruit and 

1253
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:15,400
I'm going to get myself, umm. 
Is that one of the members of 

1254
00:59:15,400 --> 00:59:17,760
staff? 
Then I'll say, excuse me, can 

1255
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,280
you tell me where the. 
Can I get out of frame? 

1256
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:22,400
With the with the bananas and 
I'll get banana not apples, I'll

1257
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:23,960
get banana not. 
Apples. 

1258
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:25,840
Not apples, not apples. 
I'll get. 

1259
00:59:25,840 --> 00:59:28,840
So deadly serious, banana. 
Strawberries, raspberries, stuff

1260
00:59:28,840 --> 00:59:30,720
like that that goes into the 
porridge. 

1261
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:32,960
Mix that up. 
I've got my porridge, then I 

1262
00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:35,440
will have a wee fruit ball on 
the side that I'll I'll be 

1263
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:38,960
selective about because they put
apple in with like fruit melon, 

1264
00:59:38,960 --> 00:59:42,440
pineapple, it doesn't need to be
there but so fish that and then 

1265
00:59:42,440 --> 00:59:44,000
I've got a bowl of that. 
Fish out the apple. 

1266
00:59:44,000 --> 00:59:46,120
You're on the apple. 
Fish that. 

1267
00:59:46,240 --> 00:59:49,000
Android guy. 
Then I eat my porridge and my 

1268
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,080
fruit. 
Then I go back and have a cooked

1269
00:59:52,080 --> 00:59:54,160
breakfast. 
Right. 

1270
00:59:54,960 --> 00:59:58,240
So you have this like fucking 
concoction. 

1271
00:59:58,240 --> 01:00:00,840
I've got a carton of almond milk
as well in the back. 

1272
01:00:02,680 --> 01:00:04,840
Have you ever asked them can you
make the porridge with this? 

1273
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:09,120
Oh. 
Oh God, I think you've just 

1274
01:00:09,120 --> 01:00:13,520
given people a job then. 
I should do that, but then I've 

1275
01:00:13,520 --> 01:00:15,760
got my cooked break, then I have
my cooked breakfast. 

1276
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:17,080
What do you have in the cooked 
breakfast? 

1277
01:00:17,880 --> 01:00:19,960
Eggs. 
Bacon. 

1278
01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:23,000
What type of eggs? 
Beans gluten free Toast, either 

1279
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:28,040
fried or Michael fried or 
poached, but like, not running. 

1280
01:00:28,320 --> 01:00:31,640
Do you have to bring gluten free
bread or is that just assumed? 

1281
01:00:31,840 --> 01:00:34,080
I will assume hotels have it. 
They will have. 

1282
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:36,760
It 9 out of 10, especially 
hotels, they'll have it, but 

1283
01:00:36,760 --> 01:00:39,880
that's one where they're like. 
See when you said 9 out of 10, 

1284
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:44,480
especially hotels and as opposed
to like we're talking about. 

1285
01:00:44,480 --> 01:00:48,440
Hotels I mean 9 out of 10 hotel 
but I fuse 2 sentences. 9 out of

1286
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:51,520
10 hotels will have them and I 
go especially when you go out 

1287
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:54,520
places, especially hotels. 
You're also you're not always in

1288
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:57,400
a hotel, for instance, and I 
don't know if you know this when

1289
01:00:57,400 --> 01:01:00,400
we do Killarney next week, we're
not hunting lodge. 

1290
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:02,200
So good, we're going to go 
hunting. 

1291
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:03,880
No. 
Well, for what? 

1292
01:01:05,760 --> 01:01:09,160
Yeah, this is what happens when 
you put me in charge. 

1293
01:01:09,160 --> 01:01:12,400
Because I asked the venue, 
because it's at the INEC, which 

1294
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:15,200
like has a hotel like as part of
the thing. 

1295
01:01:15,600 --> 01:01:18,400
And I was like sad the shine or 
whatever. 

1296
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:22,840
Like do they have like a 
discount for performers in the 

1297
01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:24,600
hotel? 
And I think probably what 

1298
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:28,000
happened on there on the hotel's
end of the phone is, yeah, if 

1299
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:31,840
they sell tickets, but this 
can't getting fuck. 

1300
01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:33,680
All right. 
They just came back and were 

1301
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:35,320
like, this is how much it cost. 
And we were like, oh, that's 

1302
01:01:35,320 --> 01:01:36,800
shit loads. 
So we're going to go. 

1303
01:01:37,040 --> 01:01:39,320
Stay in a hunting law. 
I know you're like, we're just 

1304
01:01:39,320 --> 01:01:44,160
renting out. 
Yeah, it's a 55 beds hunting 

1305
01:01:44,160 --> 01:01:45,280
lodge that's. 
Where you want to speak to 

1306
01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:46,640
George Staunton's brother and 
get a get? 

1307
01:01:47,840 --> 01:01:49,720
A these guys have look at 
Windows, don't you heard of 

1308
01:01:49,720 --> 01:01:50,000
that? 
Yeah. 

1309
01:01:50,680 --> 01:01:51,960
Shooting window What? 
Do you hunt? 

1310
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:54,920
Game vibes. 
I don't know what game. 

1311
01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:58,120
I don't know what game, Yeah. 
I don't know what they do. 

1312
01:01:58,240 --> 01:02:00,880
Yeah, must be something like 
that. 

1313
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:03,720
Either way, he does not have 
gluten free bread. 

1314
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:04,400
And yeah. 
He's not. 

1315
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:06,760
Gonna he's not gonna have. 
Stuff, Yeah, Killarney, there's.

1316
01:02:06,800 --> 01:02:08,760
Almost no chance. 
How long does that going to keep

1317
01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:10,640
going then? 
Keep me going. 

1318
01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:12,920
Well, that breakfast you've just
you skipped? 

1319
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,160
Live. 
What That is a kingly face. 

1320
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:18,040
That's big. 
I don't skip meals if I'm having

1321
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:21,560
that what that 9 I'm good for 
You tell me like half 12. 

1322
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:23,560
Lunch half 12 and then what's is
it? 

1323
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:25,280
Are you double Nandos and every 
day? 

1324
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:26,800
No. 
What's the lunch spot? 

1325
01:02:28,080 --> 01:02:29,760
We'll go Wagamama lunch and on 
those dinner. 

1326
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:32,640
What is it category? 
Possibly. 

1327
01:02:32,720 --> 01:02:36,520
Doctor Berry. 
Crohn's is Easter, it's a trade 

1328
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:37,440
off. 
Yeah. 

1329
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:41,200
Eat like a king. 
Come on. 

1330
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:44,280
Internal Pauper. 
Yeah, shit, like I said. 

1331
01:02:44,720 --> 01:02:47,400
Yeah, so that's why I can eat. 
Look. 

1332
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:50,760
Yeah. 
That's so good, but we're on the

1333
01:02:50,760 --> 01:02:53,160
Nandos train on the play because
it's just so safe, so easy. 

1334
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:55,880
It just works and you can get 
something a bit healthy. 

1335
01:02:56,360 --> 01:02:58,560
I've. 
Started with this fucking online

1336
01:02:58,560 --> 01:03:01,040
coach and you're like, you know,
you're like, you're like, I'm 

1337
01:03:01,040 --> 01:03:02,800
making good decision for the 
first week of like, yeah, 

1338
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:04,400
they're like sending pictures of
everything you eat. 

1339
01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:07,560
And I sent them like like my 
healthy Nandos order. 

1340
01:03:07,560 --> 01:03:10,520
I was like 6 guys broccoli 
coleslaw. 

1341
01:03:10,520 --> 01:03:11,880
I was like, I fucking nailed 
this. 

1342
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:15,040
And he was like, coleslaw is a 
bit behind calories. 

1343
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:18,520
I was like. 
Tell me, Tell me your first day.

1344
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:21,640
Oh, the first day, yeah, first 
day I had to start sending 

1345
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:23,120
pictures to this online coach 
guy. 

1346
01:03:23,560 --> 01:03:26,160
I had the, I was fucking, I was 
doing this like interview from 

1347
01:03:26,160 --> 01:03:28,400
my mate's wee brother who's 
making like a YouTube show 

1348
01:03:28,720 --> 01:03:30,680
called Supper and a Can in 
Glasgow. 

1349
01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:34,840
And he's just like a mad wee guy
who like wants to be a YouTube 

1350
01:03:34,840 --> 01:03:37,640
and interview people. 
And I was like, yeah, come on 

1351
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,480
and do it. 
And today one of like sending 

1352
01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:42,720
pictures of everything I ate to 
the personal trainer. 

1353
01:03:42,720 --> 01:03:44,040
He was like, right, what was for
breakfast? 

1354
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:48,280
I sent him a deep fried slice of
pizza and then like a fish 

1355
01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:51,880
supper and I was like, yeah, 
that's day one. 11:00 in the 

1356
01:03:51,880 --> 01:03:55,520
morning. 
And the rest of the day, I was 

1357
01:03:55,520 --> 01:03:58,240
like, why am I so grumpy, right?
And John was like, you've eaten.

1358
01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:00,640
Yeah. 
Yeah, he's like walking. 

1359
01:04:00,800 --> 01:04:03,600
Heart attack, yeah. 
And John knows. 

1360
01:04:03,800 --> 01:04:06,440
Elvis, you had heart attack. 
Yeah, yeah, Grandma, don't 

1361
01:04:06,440 --> 01:04:08,800
worry. 
About it not ideal to have one. 

1362
01:04:09,240 --> 01:04:11,200
To have one, yeah. 
Four days before you went to the

1363
01:04:11,200 --> 01:04:13,480
hospital. 
I would love that to be true. 

1364
01:04:13,720 --> 01:04:17,480
Six weeks. 
Did you know you've had one? 

1365
01:04:17,480 --> 01:04:20,720
No. 
No, no, I didn't know, which is 

1366
01:04:20,720 --> 01:04:24,760
why I didn't like no. 
What the fuck? 

1367
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:26,640
But I thought if you have a 
heart attack and then it's done,

1368
01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:27,800
it's. 
Not like the movies. 

1369
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:29,720
It's not like the movies. 
You don't. 

1370
01:04:30,560 --> 01:04:32,480
I didn't get that. 
Where were you when happened? 

1371
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:35,840
I was having breakfast. 
I was eating a bowl of like, 

1372
01:04:35,840 --> 01:04:40,520
Muesli, trying to be healthy. 
Yeah, ironic and like a talk 

1373
01:04:40,520 --> 01:04:43,960
about instead. 
But like it's just felt this and

1374
01:04:43,960 --> 01:04:46,320
I this is mad. 
I've been at the gym the day 

1375
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:47,840
before. 
It's like chest day. 

1376
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:52,880
And and then I got this weird 
feeling of like it was like 

1377
01:04:53,800 --> 01:04:58,240
almost like like just kind of a 
weird pressure in my chest. 

1378
01:04:58,240 --> 01:05:00,760
It was like a bit of a pain, but
I was like, oh, like, that's 

1379
01:05:00,760 --> 01:05:01,880
probably from the workout. 
Neat. 

1380
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:05,840
Muesli looked And then so you 
know, because you get, you know,

1381
01:05:06,040 --> 01:05:07,440
like it kicked. 
In you know when you get 

1382
01:05:07,520 --> 01:05:09,760
thermogenic. 
Yeah, thermogenic. 

1383
01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:11,400
I was like, I'm losing weight 
already. 

1384
01:05:11,960 --> 01:05:14,640
And I just got a bit nauseous. 
And then I was like, oh, that's 

1385
01:05:14,640 --> 01:05:17,200
weird. 
And I, I like, I did have the 

1386
01:05:17,200 --> 01:05:19,640
thought, am I having a heart 
attack right now? 

1387
01:05:19,640 --> 01:05:23,840
And then I was like, no, yeah, 
like I was only like, what, 34 

1388
01:05:23,840 --> 01:05:25,200
something? 
I was like, Nah. 

1389
01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:27,880
And then. 
And I remembered going, I'll 

1390
01:05:27,880 --> 01:05:30,120
tell you what's never happened. 
When someone's having a heart 

1391
01:05:30,120 --> 01:05:32,400
attack, they've never continued 
eating breakfast. 

1392
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:35,240
Yeah. 
So I forced down another couple 

1393
01:05:35,880 --> 01:05:37,880
of singing moves, and then it 
went away after a few minutes. 

1394
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:39,400
All the feedings just went away.
And I was like, Oh, Grant, I 

1395
01:05:39,400 --> 01:05:44,360
just went to work and I listened
like a few weeks later, I was 

1396
01:05:44,360 --> 01:05:48,800
listening to Kevin Smith know 
that the Jane silent Bob and he 

1397
01:05:48,800 --> 01:05:51,680
had had he had had his big heart
attack and he was on this 

1398
01:05:51,680 --> 01:05:54,080
podcast and he was saying that 
when he went in to get treated, 

1399
01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:55,920
they were like, this is your 
like 5th. 

1400
01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:57,440
And he was like, I've not had a 
heart attack. 

1401
01:05:57,880 --> 01:06:01,120
And they were like, did you ever
feel like a bit nauseous, like 

1402
01:06:01,120 --> 01:06:04,200
sort of WAVY over here prep And 
he was like, and they're like, 

1403
01:06:04,200 --> 01:06:07,440
that's a heart attack. 
I was like, Oh, maybe that's why

1404
01:06:07,440 --> 01:06:09,680
I'm tired all the time and I 
can't walk really anymore. 

1405
01:06:09,680 --> 01:06:12,080
And I, I should go and see a 
doctor. 

1406
01:06:12,840 --> 01:06:15,400
And I did. 
And they were like, hey, heart 

1407
01:06:15,400 --> 01:06:17,080
attack. 
Wow. 

1408
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,880
Grand now. 
But you have to like do you 

1409
01:06:19,960 --> 01:06:21,160
have? 
AI go for check. 

1410
01:06:21,160 --> 01:06:24,320
No, I go for cheques all the 
time, but I'm no, no, I'm fine. 

1411
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:28,880
I didn't have to get the thing 
I've got like AI have a like a 

1412
01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:32,320
problem that is basically stress
relate. 

1413
01:06:32,320 --> 01:06:38,120
Like stress is what caused that.
But like as long as it's 

1414
01:06:38,120 --> 01:06:42,160
monitored, it's more this is so 
boring, but there's more chance 

1415
01:06:42,160 --> 01:06:44,520
of it going wrong if they went 
in to try and fix the problem 

1416
01:06:45,160 --> 01:06:47,280
than it being sort of serious 
issue. 

1417
01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:49,800
Remember we were having crack 5 
minutes ago. 

1418
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:51,440
That's his fault I never want to
talk about. 

1419
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:54,920
That no, but no, that's that's 
interesting that because IA 100%

1420
01:06:54,920 --> 01:06:57,440
if I thought I'd had one, which 
is like, but it's OK now. 

1421
01:06:58,080 --> 01:06:59,520
What was funny was like. 
We. 

1422
01:07:00,000 --> 01:07:05,520
My wife and I went to, we went 
to New York not long after and 

1423
01:07:05,960 --> 01:07:08,600
we're sort of walking around and
my wife was complaining because 

1424
01:07:08,600 --> 01:07:10,360
she had blisters in her, in her 
thing. 

1425
01:07:10,640 --> 01:07:13,440
And I was like, do you know what
else is not? 

1426
01:07:15,080 --> 01:07:18,120
What else is so hard to be 
walking around New York? 

1427
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:22,880
My broken heart. 
Yeah, yeah, I think I'm gonna 

1428
01:07:22,880 --> 01:07:25,440
die if you make me climb one 
more flight of stairs. 

1429
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:26,880
So. 
Well, I think we should. 

1430
01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:29,680
We should put your heart to the 
test and let's go have chicken 

1431
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:31,240
waffles. 
Oh, Truffles. 

1432
01:07:31,240 --> 01:07:34,240
Truffles, truffles truffles but 
get an appointment for after I 

1433
01:07:34,240 --> 01:07:37,240
think. 
I just let it go. 

1434
01:07:38,640 --> 01:07:39,720
Tutorial. 
John, thank you very much for 

1435
01:07:39,720 --> 01:07:41,040
coming on the pod. 
Thanks man. 

1436
01:07:41,160 --> 01:07:42,880
Thanks Bush and the rest of the 
tour. 

1437
01:07:43,160 --> 01:07:45,400
Rest the tour around like the UK
and Ireland. 

1438
01:07:45,400 --> 01:07:47,440
There's like maybe 10 or 12. 
When's this come out? 

1439
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:51,960
We'll put the link in. 20th of 
November, there's some dead 

1440
01:07:51,960 --> 01:07:54,840
slab, maybe their stuff. 
There's stuff happening and 

1441
01:07:54,840 --> 01:07:56,960
John's, John's going on tour, 
Johnston stuff. 

1442
01:07:57,080 --> 01:08:01,280
Tour next March I have a show in
Belfast on the 25th of November.

1443
01:08:02,400 --> 01:08:04,480
Go to my Instagram John M 
Comedy. 

1444
01:08:04,880 --> 01:08:09,360
Nice words, you. 
The show is currently I can't 

1445
01:08:09,800 --> 01:08:12,360
I've I'm having a problem with 
the venue, it's in Belfast. 

1446
01:08:12,440 --> 01:08:15,040
Belfast. 
Yeah, I don't want to say you. 

1447
01:08:15,320 --> 01:08:17,640
Don't want to confirm it because
it's fallen through twice. 

1448
01:08:19,160 --> 01:08:21,200
Here break news three times, 
Yeah. 

1449
01:08:21,359 --> 01:08:22,920
In Belfast, though. 
In Belfast. 

1450
01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:24,600
Is terrible for your heart. 
Let's get him a venue. 

1451
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:26,720
Let's get him a venue. 
Bye John, a venue. 

1452
01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:27,720
Yeah. 
Thank you very much. 

1453
01:08:28,040 --> 01:08:28,640
Great. 
Thanks.