It's good to see him a :) again. Yeah, we Marshall, he was.
He was in a dark place for a long time.
I'm. Glad he's not going when see how
fast I can do it. That wasn't fun.
Yes because he doing it. He went through that period.
He was like no I am good. Listen how fast this is.
Oh, it's. Not fun.
Oh, we've got a new one from Eminem.
That's very Popeye, yes. You know, you sound like an
auctioneer. That was the most adorable old
Victorian lady yawn, whose husband has told her you're not
allowed to yawn a public thing I've ever seen.
You stopped yourself. Because thought the camera was.
Coming you don't like it when I do that sippers welcome to this
episode of the team with me podcast with me, she and Todd.
Before we get into this episode, I'll keep this quick.
I got to tell you some things. Number one, we are sponsored by
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back in the day, like at the start of meal grooming, there
was probably, you know, some people probably thought they
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cream, you know, like a moisturiser.
Manske went, we'll see you that and we'll raise you ball toner,
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These guys are nuts. They've got the lawnmower 5.0.
It's got wireless charging technology.
It's got a light on it so you can be, you could be in a cave
grooming yourself up. You can do whatever.
The sound of laughter from another podcast coming through
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You've got everything. You've got crops through their
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got things for here, here face, all different stuff.
I just, you hear Michael Jackson.
Hey there. I want to apologise to Manscape
for he he being a rogue. He.
I. Feel like a dad and my children
are having a sleepover upstairs he's.
Doing nights he's working nights, you've got the weed what
everyone started working nights. I'm like, well, he definitely
doesn't. You've got his teacher, you've
got the weed Wacker for your nose and ear hair.
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Don't fuss him not at that. And then between my brush and my
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Me podcast. We do live streams every Friday
and Friday just passed unless he cancelled the last minute.
We had Jeremy Pivenal, which is wild.
Jeremy Piven from Entourage Jeremy Piven from plenty of
iconic television and films disc plenty of television.
You know the guy, he's in plenty of television and he's he's
great. He's doing a show in Dublin.
We got him on the live stream and we're going to be doing more
of that. People that are coming over jump
on the live stream again. He might have dropped out.
I hope that it happened. It's due to happen in like 3
hours after this. But if it didn't happen, I'm
sorry. And if it did, how great was
that? I didn't expect him to say that
he hasn't anything. It hasn't happened yet.
They probably won't. He will drop it.
I don't think it's keen, but patreon.com/team Me podcast,
Bonus episode every Monday, live stream every Friday.
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So go to patreon.com/TV Me podcast.
We have launched a tea in conjunction with Sookie, who are
a great local tea brand. We got in touch with those guys
and said let's do something and we spent ages working out the
sort of tea that I like to drink that I would want.
Slightly strong. No, nothing really that fancy
about it. I don't like artisanal sort of I
can't use that word teas that are a bit you know, you know,
you know, these teas are a little bit a little bit strong.
It it's good quality black tea. These are collectors.
I these are going to be worth a hell of a lot of money someday.
The actual tea with me tea and they're fair trade as well.
Alright, so that tastes even better, you know, because look,
this is a tea I made earlier and this is not fair trade.
This is but there's there's a lot of bad guys been involved
with this day limiter. Yeah.
That's what it Yeah, disgusting. But the next cup of tea I have
will be from our very own range and people have contacted me
saying I run a cafe, I want to stock this, chat this.
I'm on tour everywhere. She and talk comedy.com.
If you want to come and see me, Belfast, Dublin, Cork, load to
England, Scotland shows and then we'll be out in America, Middle
East, Europe, all that kind of stuff.
I am joined today by a lovely young man who can't reach his
tea and it's just spilled. There's coffee just spilled,
quite a lot of it. Sorry.
On our new table. He is none other than William
Thompson. Give hello, give it up for.
What's happening? Thank you for having me, Sir.
What's happening brother? You're.
Good. I don't see enough here these
days. It's good to see you.
Yeah, you wired up. What do you mean?
You sort of said like 7 sentences together there and
one. I tend to do that.
You know what, I've been getting up early these days.
So in the. Morning.
All right, Mark Wahlberg. I swear to God man, 6 in the
morning. What are you doing?
Just catching them worms. Yeah, I'm not getting up
catching the sauna 6 in the morning.
You. Saw him at 6:00 in the morning.
Yeah, yeah, Who's who's in there?
Paint the picture for me. 6 in the morning.
It's it's just me and four old dudes every time.
The old men love a sauna to the point where you can't tell
whether they are old men or just like young guys that have been
in there way too long. They also do the old man set
where I'm not sure if they're really entered or they're dead.
Can I? No, the old man said.
Like this is so this is somebody our age in a sauna, right?
There's an old guy in a sauna. The ones I know, they go right
back, head back like that. Right, I'll tell you this right
now. See, any man in a sauna lying
there with a head back wouldn't be against getting sucked off.
I don't think many man it's no that's.
Getting sucked, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that is it. That's a.
It's not a campaign trail you're
going to run. That's an unsubtle sign to put
out there that you want sucked off.
Soon as you throw that hair back in the sauna, you're you're
saying. Any takers?
But why is your mouth open if you're mountain sucked off?
What do you mean? No, but your mouth is open if
you want. That's a guy.
That's a guy who's going. He's saying whatever happens,
happens in here. Yeah.
If you suck me off, you suck me off.
If you don't, you don't. I couldn't imagine the worst
place the suck someone. Off Oh, he's so warm, wouldn't
it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sauna.
Yeah. Be around 19° made in there.
Be awful, but you know, that's the worst.
That's the worst. Sucking off conditions.
In there or in like an ice room? An ice room would be what's an
ice where a freezer. No, like in Gal Gum.
Have one. It's like all ice on the walls,
you know? You sure you didn't just walk
into the freezer? You're like some fucking.
This might be the back of Oars butchers.
I think about it. I refuse to in there in the gal
gum all the time. I always bring my wife there and
get her to post things. Sample done good and I try and
buy meat didn't cargo I. Mean the the ice room be worse
because your tongue gets stuck to it so you're saying that
would be way worse yeah if you're.
Genuine. Can I, can I tell you something?
Yeah. No.
You've been sucking dudes off, no.
The opposite against what people are going to say, but I don't
know Donna Fall shows exceeded for a few minutes of podcast.
Keep it clean. I'm going to say this for the
record. I've never given a blowjob,
right. Yeah, to the point where when
you. Said about the listeners are.
You, when you said about your tongue getting stuck to it, I
genuinely naively went, why would you be using your tongue?
But I get that that plays a huge role in it.
I know you look you want. You look like you look like a
granddaughter rave. Do that again.
Never tell you when I work. You look like a turtle listening
to Fat Boy Slim there. They were telling I worked in
the nightclub. There was a guy who was about
75, would would turn up every night to one of the ribs.
Yes, I call him that he. Actually, he did look a bit like
you're. He did, yeah.
And he commonly have all his money in a wee plastic bag at
all. And he counted out.
He was paying for like a double vodka black current, but.
Then oh you mean like in a wee money bag?
Like but I have one lose my pocket right now.
Why? Do you have a wee money back?
Someone just gave me. Really.
Just how did you we bag of money?
Yeah. What do you go there with it
when you spend it? It's not that much money, but I
just haven't. But they're exciting to have
them. Everything we go fucking buck
wild little they just be on the floor.
Sort of nightclub business. It's like a real heavy, heavy
tackle nightclub like. Where?
Besides, don't. Fuck, why did I ask?
Beside the Marcus Ward. It was beside the Marcus.
Ward, I'm not doing this again. It was beside there.
It was called Foundry. Used to be Steph getting.
Were you doing? Glass collect.
I was glass collecting. Yeah.
It was the most job ever are. You good at that?
Now I see, here's the thing. I didn't need the job at the
time, I was just bored and I I like working.
And you'd be the worst guy to work with in there.
I don't need this shit, you guys.
No, because I because I didn't. Use it for the passion.
I just did. It glass collector for fun.
Yeah, and I would not take it seriously.
They I was originally in the cloakroom, right.
Say there's about 100, I think there's 120 spaces in the
coatroom and it was 1 LB about your coat.
And they never put him put me in the courtroom after this night
because at the end of the night the guy came and was like, oh,
what's your tell? I went, oh man, I've got like
500 LB here. What the fuck do you mean?
I went, yeah, I've got like 500 coats.
You know, there's only 120 hangers.
I went. Yeah, but once a rat out of the
hangers I just started like throwing them all over the place
and didn't have the new. System to get them back.
So what kind of coat is it made? Black one.
At the end of the night, there was just like a queue going
around the bar because I was going to people.
Is this your coat? They're like, no one.
I'm like, well, do you want this one?
That should suit you better. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
This should bring your eyes way better you.
See, they they never let me do it again.
I I haven't been out in not long that I haven't done a cloakroom
in easy 10 years, I'm sure. I you strike me as a guy who
wouldn't trust the cloakroom person, they're like, I'll just
carry it. Yeah, you say I'd have.
I'd be a Draper. Yeah, a Dawn Draper I just have
draped over the arm. Yeah.
Yeah, absolutely would do that. No, I don't like I've always
people need to know this by me. I don't like carrying a coat
around. I'll look for the earliest
opportunity to get rid of it, but I'll sometimes find a place
in the bar where you wouldn't expect to find a coat, and I'll
put my coat there like Rogue. Where would you put it in the
freezer? Like under under a bench up and
tucked away or something. Or I'll just find somewhere for
it. You know like a corner of the
room and or somewhere up I've. I just leave mine over a chair
and hope people are good not to steal and they they always are.
What's it like? Forget glass collecting, What's
something you could see yourself if you had?
Like say money was not, money was no.
What do you call that thing? Money's no.
Obstacle object. No obstacle.
No, it's money's no object. Right.
Money's no obstacle, right? Right.
Mike, you know that phrase? Money's no obstacle.
Yeah. Yeah.
What could you see yourself collecting?
What could you see yourself building up a little collection
of, like, comic books or vinyl or oh, do you know what?
Faberge Eggs. What if I had Faberge eggs?
What are they? Eggs made out of fabric.
I know. Fabric.
They're like rare eggs with all different.
Like with diamonds and all that shit thing to collect.
Their guy in The Simpsons. Just what do you call the guy
who played the saxophone? The Simpsons and.
Glen comes Murphy. I think he collected them.
Yeah, I I don't know about that. Pretty sure he was penniless
and. Yes, because he kept spending
his money on fabric eggs. That is right.
That is actually right. Oh.
Yeah, he blew his fortune on fabric.
Yes, you're right. Actually yes, if I have money,
was no objection, I would have a giant VR room in my house.
Oh, you, They're all right. You'll be pervert.
I know. What else is going No, no.
Oh my God, be the wettest room in Northern Ireland.
Oh my God. You can play VR games.
Yeah, you. Can play sex games, no doubt.
If I have money. Red Dead Redemption with a big
root. See if money, if I had money,
why would I be there? Like I'll do the virtual I can
have actual sex without money. Nah.
You have a Sarah, All the old boys.
Well. You are a virtual pervert, no?
Do you have AVR headset or no? No.
As soon as you can't trust you because you would never leave
the house. I would because I'd be playing
Resident Evil. Resident Evil and VR is very
scary. On all the zombies and all the
zombies in it. And Resident Evil.
Yeah, right. Zombie.
You think I tried to stick on the zombie?
What percentage of men between the ages of 21 and 50 that have
VR headsets you think? What porn on 70?
I would go up there about 90 in, in terms of people watching it,
not the age of the porn stars, but I think there's a lot of
them. I think it's one of those, you
know, it's not real. If you're on the Internet long
enough, you're going to start watching porn.
Yeah, well, you know, after you don't fable, you're done
watching. Once you're done watching
Fabregas goals, you'll just be like, I'll see some titties
here. They're like.
Fabregas egg, Fabregas egg. There's something all.
Right, Tim Vine Fabregas Egg Know that old saying?
Oh, she's as rare as a Fabregas. I got to buy money, always says.
I could see myself get out. Elton John's big thing was
flowers back in the day. He spent so much money, like he
was spending hundreds of thousands of dollars a month.
Only thing not as only vice I don't think but.
Not the coolest amounts of cocaine.
But literally Flowers is what he's blue so much money on.
But he has so much money that it's hard to boredom.
You're buying stuff then? Yes, because he has about 20
songs that you could live off if you wrote one of them.
Yeah. And he's wrote hundreds of them.
Don't like it's like people who have wrote these on a good.
See if you can write a good funeral train.
You're you're loaded for life. Like what fix you by quote on us
because you can't. No Where's?
Not you've not fixed the person. I will try to fix you, but I
did. That's a good grievance song.
Always Khalifa. See you again.
See you. Got to make that out of out of
funeral. See if see if you can monetize
smacked funerals. Or monetize.
Yeah, let's pick 5 realistic but smacked out funeral tunes.
One already is See You Again by Wiz Khalifa, featuring Charlie
Prince. Haven't but the DJ comedy
version or DJ Sami. DJ Comedy.
There is a DJ comedy version. There is DJ.
You know, DJ comedy. Thank you, Fausty.
DJ, the baby you're. Yeah.
Missing you by P daddy seen many smacked A barrier to that.
Yeah, what about like? I've give you 2.
You need to give me something here.
Closer by Neil. What?
Closer by Neil? I don't know about that.
Oh. People give you everything.
Imagine your dog get lower done. Yeah right.
Put it up with a codec. But yeah, go to Times Square and
take a picture of me with a codec.
Excuse me? Yeah, what there is definitely.
Smack up Eminem and a con. Whop.
Miss you mommy, A can't oh slim shake.
Johnny Cash hurt. There's not smacked out, though.
She makes love, Johnny Cash. Yeah.
They love Johnny Cash and Bob Marley.
Eminem What did you think? Eminems new song.
Abra abra cadabra. Is it just that the chorus is
good because that Steve Miller Band song is great?
Yeah, it's not. When I say Steve Miller Band, it
sounds like he's the brother. Of and.
Dave and Dave, yeah, Steve Miller Band, but he's the cool
one. It was.
Oh, this is my brother. That's a fantastic Ed Miliband.
Do you know what? When he went to host Cool FM
after he didn't get in. Oh, this is Eminem.
You're going you're. Bored.
I know I I've no idea how he talks.
I guessed I guessed Eminem feature Mr Tumble.
I guessed how that's how a Miliband would talk.
Yeah, he was. He was.
I can't do his voice. He was very fun.
Any wonder he didn't get elected?
Vote for me. What's your tax policy, Mr
Miliband? I I it's funny how Eminem in the
day used to call everybody and say he literally said that lyric
about Jlo where he's like, sorry, Puff, I don't give a fuck
if this chick was sorry Puff, I don't give a fuck if this chick
was my mother. I'd still fuck her with no
rubber and come inside her and have a son and a new brother at
the same time and just say that it ain't mine.
And now, and that's just one of 1000 of those.
Yeah. And then he makes a joke about
Megan the stallion. And everyone's.
Getting shot in the foot and they're like, she's been through
a lot. Her food's still very sore.
Yeah, she has. I can.
Come inside her and have a son and a new brother at the same
time and just say that. The guy who, a year after the
Columbine massacre, brought out a song that had the lyric, I'll
go to Columbine, take out a over a Mac and a nine and line them
up at the same time. Yeah, yeah.
And everyone's like you can't joke about.
Don't say that about her fate. Can't leave our Megan.
She's still going how we bet, you know, she's still wee bit,
wee bit raw. She hasn't touched.
That some of the lyrics. Revolution Machine.
Some of the lyrics of his pal Bizarre was thrown out there, or
some of the worst things ever. Do be.
Careful. What one do you want?
I don't. Want any of them loved Bizarre,
but now that I'm older I'm like. When you see it written down in
ink, yeah, that's harsh. It's verse from Amityville.
But people. You know I'm not going to do it.
I'm not doing it. I won't say it.
The one that ends with guess who?
Slim City? Just say when.
Fucking grip. When I've been reading this a
lot that everyone's like Eminem was he back in the day?
So fun, Slim, shitty, colourful rap, fun, funny, great flow.
And then he went all like dead serious.
Yeah, right. Like Eminem.
No, when he come back when he did.
That Do you ever see the cypher he did against Donald Trump?
That's an awfully hot coffee pot.
Should I drop it on Donald Trump?
Probably not. And you're like, this is stupid.
Yeah, this is so shit. No, everyone's like, oh, he's
got he had the black Heron on and the weird beer and
everyone's like the fuck or we just want the the the old shady
bag. And then he pops up like there's
blown again, lads, what's crack? And I'm doing all the funny
stuff and everyone's like, you can't, no, we don't want that
nowadays. There's no place for that.
You just ask them to do it again.
Do you know what? There has been this sort of
phenomenon where it's like people in their mid 30s onwards
are being like, and you're trying, oh, you've woken up
Marshall Lookout guys and I'm like, oh, that's cringy.
Yes, you know what I mean? You're not going to.
He was perfect for that time. Late 90s.
We're being offensive and being in your face.
I'm being really fucking mean was cool.
You're never going to get that again.
You can't go as far as he did. Even there's a line in that song
that I think is that's that's a shit line.
What everyone popping off of it doesn't mean like.
You can't say trance and Chinese and one what's the bar?
My transgender caught Siamese. Just something something but
identifies as Chinese. Yeah, act black, but I identify
as Chinese. Yeah.
What? The fuck does that?
What the fuck are you talking? People are like he went there,
he went after the blacks, he went after the Chinese, he got
the trans. Fuck the cop community.
Marshall's back. It's like a bit you would try it
the pavilion and one of your mates will go.
There's something like he's trying it at the power of like,
you know? That's yeah.
I like the song. It's catchy.
It is catchy and it's good to see him have a :) again.
Yeah, we Marshall. He was he was in a dark place
for a long time. I'm.
Glad he's not going to win. See how fast I can do it?
That wasn't fun. Yes.
Was he doing it? He went through that period.
He was like, no I am good this no fast this is.
It's. Not fun.
Yeah, it's. Not fun where you're like your
guys hang on new I'm just dropped.
Hold on, I'll introduce it. Yeah, OK.
Will I be me or like an American DJ can again?
Melbourne. We've got a new one from Eminem
coming up on the House of Parliament FM.
This is a new one from Eminem and.
It wasn't fun that that's very Popeye you.
Know you sound like an auctioneer.
Like a horse race that's really close towards the end.
Every once in a while, Tony. McCoy.
Anybody. Frankie Tory still got it, but.
That's what he was for a while and it stopped.
You're like, yes, very good Marshall, but also it's like.
Makes me feel nostalgic. I like it.
Yeah. I'm like.
The video for it's good. The video, it's a fun video.
It's a fun song. He's not like the way he was,
but like he can't be. Because he's not on fucking 40
Vicodin a day. Yeah, the guy like people are
like, why aren't you the way you were?
Because he was a serious drug addict that nearly died.
Yeah, it's like people like my dad used to be able to handstand
and walk in his hands. I'd say people going up to me
and like, why couldn't you do that?
Like you were 20, I feel. Is he 74?
He asked that give it a go at a cheer spike.
I think he could do it. He would do it.
I think he could, yeah. I hate that he's in way better
shape than I'll ever be. And he's an old mom for.
Some reason I really love the idea of you training my dad in
gymnastics. I think your dog train me.
You think so? I think he could.
Yeah, for like a big finale to your waterfront show.
Yeah, yeah, because you're because you're not.
I like it. Don't hold back.
You know, he'd walk up to me and pop my belly and be like, what's
happening? We man, you're like, oh, I'm a
feelings. Never mind that we fatty.
Yeah, yeah, he was someone like yeah, I've been out with Dennis
and someone walks past my bag of Christmas like you'd love up
when you're like, oh, would you are right.
I love him. I like so he's so.
You were just in Liverpool. I was in the new hot water.
Builder Joe. Good time, brother.
Yeah, it was really fun. Were you partying?
Not really. Not really.
I was quite sick. Oh yeah.
Yeah, I think you got a wee bug, but the new hot water room is.
What did you do to pass your days in Liverpool?
Just chilled out at the club that's.
Intense. So you're on at night at like
9:00? Yeah, Gerald had some food.
Before you say you get up at 6:00 AM nice, you say you're
hitting a quick sauna and then. Since that Liverpool One that
this week I've got up at 6:00 AM, the past three days, that's
what I've done. Guys, change your life.
Like me. I get up at 6:00 AM every day
since Thursday. Yeah.
And I am so happy now. Join my course guys, I've been
pre, yes I preach it but I've been living it for half a week.
I had a carrot yesterday, yeah. And let me tell you, things are
different. That's because people thought
you were a wee shower pony. You're a Shire pony.
Yeah, it's not Shetland. Were you trying to say Shetland?
Pony, I got confused between a lot of four legged.
What do you call horses? You would say like they're
equine beasts. I love the equine form.
I can't be every animal, yeah. I can't be.
Oh, you're a lot of them. I can't be a Beaver.
I can't be a mole. Everything from what do you
call? Oh, that's.
Right. Yeah, I was the king, Subway.
No, what do you call the farting wood?
You're literally everyone in farting wood, human or animal.
Yeah, I'm all of them. You're everyone in farting wood
in a real life I. Can't be a toad.
I'm not a toad. You're.
So if you shaved, you'd be a toad.
Easy. I am herless.
Do this. Yeah.
You're a toad. What animal do you think you're
not for? Sure.
Yeah, you're. Off you're a big giraffe.
I'm a giraffe. I'm a big giraffe.
Yeah, you're the guy. You're the one outside sex
divorce. Really.
And she slides down your neck at the start of it.
Never seen sex divorce, Elaine. No. 54 Zulian.
You motherfuckers are old. It was a kids programme where
she lived right beside a zoo and then when it was nighttime,
should. This come out when you were a
kid? Yeah.
Oh yeah? Well I wasn't a kid then you
fucking idiot, so why would I've seen?
What I'm saying, that's why you're old.
You're old. That's what time works.
Yeah, and that's why you're old, because you're you've been about
for a long time. Yeah, not, not in the grand
scheme of the world. No, no, but in.
The grand scheme of the world. I mean, you're.
Compared to me though, you're old as shit.
But no. Not.
Not when you consider time as a whole.
I'm absolutely not. No, no, you're not in in the
ground, Yeah, you're not as a grant from, you're not as good
as the earth, I'll give you that.
Yeah, thank you all. I want you to say something
nice, and that's what I have. To go to, yeah, compared to the
Aztec civilization. You mean you're very close to
the? Yes, yes, yeah.
But in terms of 64 Julian lifespan, right Agent?
When would you? Hey, by the time this comes out
I'll be another year older. When's your birthday?
Sunday. Is it?
I want to get you something? What?
Do you want enough? Your presents I'm gonna get.
You're gonna buy me something? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll take it on your shop and pick some.
You. You are that you.
Would I'd bring you down to buy me art?
You, you're a guy who I've seen you get a present you don't
like, and you can't hide your face that you don't like it.
It's like when I come off, if I have a bad gig, I don't want you
to say a good gig. So I will treat you like that.
Yeah. I don't want you to think you've
bought me a good present. I don't want to tell you, man,
this is great. Yeah, it's a stinker, I'll say.
I'm an easy guy. If it's a stinker, Joe, what
I'll say. Thanks a lot.
Yeah, No, Here's the fish. You do?
Yeah, you. You don't.
Thank you. And then don't talk about the
present ever again. Yeah, I'm very easy to buy for.
Give me something weird. Some stupid shit.
Bad grips. Love a bag of crisps.
You actually got me a bag of crisps for Christmas one time
and I was, so you got me. You got me a couple of things,
but the only thing I remembered was I got a big bag of crisps.
That was awesome. I remember my cousins granda got
him a potato once when he was about 9:00 but he had a real
present. But he gave him the potatoes
like a test. And I remember thinking my
cousin I acted very differently in that scenario.
He was like granda thanks very much all you all my can't we
date this And then as granda went, I'm only joking, but
that's so nice to see. Oh it's my granda gave me a
potato. I never would have spoken to him
again. When I was 10, for my 10th
birthday, one of my knowledge. And I like potatoes.
She's an X man. When I was 10, my nanny gave me
a Doctor Who teach in the rape alarm.
Were those things linked I? Fucking hope not.
A Doctor Who chain around the neck.
No, like a keychain between TARDIS and the real I don't
know, my pardon and the rape alarm.
I don't know why she gave me that.
But what you said before that? A dog.
A Tardis. That's what.
It's called Grow up Fuck. I was do you know what?
Dan's not here and I was going to say something and then go cut
that out, but I'm not give you that work.
You're going. To call me a Tardis, weren't
you? No, you were.
No, I was going to make us a smarter joke than that.
And so that, so that's for your key chain at home.
I was 10 more keys that I have. So she's obviously going to a
key ring shop. Yeah, and it was a day long.
It was like a wee flashlight. I don't think she knew it was a
real alarm. I only found out when it was
like spinning it on my finger that we key chain and it came
off right and the thing just like wait wait wait, wait, wait,
wait and I was like now the moment I'm like why did she give
me a fucking? Real Doctor Who?
All right. I've been more aware.
I bet the Doctor Who keeps you. We a big Doctor Who?
Yeah. Nope, never watched it and I've
never seen that episode of it spoof.
I haven't. You love it.
I I really don't. You love the Doctor?
I have seen one. You love.
I tell a doctor I've seen one episode.
Yeah, every day in the past. 20 years you love.
Doctor, what is it you love about Doctor Who?
I've not, I'm not a fan. Of man, you're huge Doctor Who
fan. I'm not William Thompson, huge
doctor. Who?
I'm not a huge doctor. Time to help travel and doctor,
you know you have the scarf. Or what about you wear the big
scar? Oh my God, you love it.
He hasn't had a scarf in about 30 years.
But I what about me gives me Doctor Who farm vibes.
Everything. Elaborate.
You just look like a guy who who loves every.
It was Sunday night to be on. I don't know.
I don't. I think it was Saturdays.
I don't know. You just look like this sort of
guy who would have had a wee homemade TARDIS and you're
popped out of it just as a show started phone box and as soon as
it ended, hop back in. I never got into it.
No. It was just weird to.
Me, other than football, I don't know what you were into as a
kid. I I couldn't picture you as
being anything other than. Give you a few shows.
Yeah, gladiators. Gladiators, Right, OK.
Blind it. Blind it you make sell a black
for. Silla was, don't get me wrong, a
huge part of it, but I just love the I love the cheeky banter and
the light tone of the show. So I was more of the Take Me Out
generation. I enjoy take Take Me Out to.
Take Me Out, Bird. You ever see the one where the
guy comes down, he's got the maracas, they start salsa
dancing and he's literally before is open to music is done.
He's gone. The the music comes up and then
part of this is like you did fuck off.
Now there's no, no, literally 40 women have collectively went
Nah. It was a great show.
I love that. I think it was brilliant at the
start and I know he's a good friend.
Here's Patty McGinnis, but nothing he ever said makes
sense. Oh.
No, Let the whatever see the whatever.
It never worked. Leave my mate alone.
Let the table see the sofa. It never made sense, but people
were like, ah, potty. What's he like?
Yeah, yeah, that the doctor say The Who?
Yeah, of course you would make that joke.
Yeah, I'm going fuck you. Because you love.
It I'm gonna get in the Doctor Who to spite you.
Yeah, you just drop fuck toys on you.
One of the shows that I really enjoy.
I love just Saturday night TVI loved it.
I like Dream Team which was a football soap that was on Sky
One. You would love that.
Brilliant about the fictional club Hartchester United.
I bet you it wasn't. Oh, washing grip, but I mean it
wouldn't hold up, but at the time.
When when your mom and dad went to bed, you'd watch.
Football, they didn't. They didn't go to bed?
No, you're my dad. Well, separately, yeah.
Yeah, I didn't say together. OK, you think I would sneak up
to watch football? You'd stay up and watch
Footballers Wives before you tried to help me with your
trauma, Dumpler. Can I tell you actually I'm a
child of divorce so my mommy and daddy didn't.
I don't give a fuck, we nerd. I take a break from you.
It's only town break, right? Once you can do the Han stones
against you taking part, right? My daddy couldn't pick me up
after one day we're all going to be together again, do.
You still go up the Dallas at Christmas.
I mean like you're just not Miss Mommy.
I bet your day. I wish we could do Christmas
together again as a family. Bet your day be a loser.
I go get my Tardis and go back to when we were all happy.
I'm. Going to text you something I
can't. What were you got to actually
set? Set?
No, because it's funny because you've got that way lamb.
It'll pick face you do when you've done something really
funny. I'll never laugh again.
Why are you never laughing again?
Because George Michael, I never gonna laugh again.
Two Christmases just had fun. Fuck off.
But what were we even saying there?
You watch Footballers Wives. Can I tell you this?
And this is so horrific, Horrific admission.
I was at that age when football's wives came out that I
find, and this is true. I find at that age, I wasn't, I
wasn't ejaculine. I wasn't.
Really not what I thought you were going to.
Say I wasn't is edging where you go close to it and then you
stop. Yeah, I wasn't even.
I wasn't I was having no sexual activity.
I find the women in Football's Wives that sexy that I couldn't
watch it because it made me like, like asthma flare up.
Boy, I find them too sexy. And I think the idea of football
being introduced there as well, Yeah, it was a football element.
Yeah, because you'd see a hot wife and they'd see a great
volley and you're I guess is too much more.
If you show me AB even a scissors kick.
Yeah. I'm busting.
Yeah. Buster Ranch football.
As well. So I couldn't like top.
Of the scissors kick. I couldn't.
Scissoring kick.
Yeah, kind of thing. More rebooba.
So that's awful. Reboob.
You. Could have been like, I'd love
to make them Ramona, give them that.
That's pretty good. I couldn't there was a while
where like honestly like my ass more flower.
The first time I saw porn was out of me.
It's ocean. There was loads of his hair and
some guy put it on a PC and I was laughing.
And then how do you get to inhale it like?
Fucking me dork. Be I.
Love boobies being Where's Mr Pizza delivery man Give it to
her boobs. She needs assistance in the
washing machine. I can now look, I used to watch
the free views on the cable tell channel 60 and 61.
Yeah, and like. Oh yeah, the back button.
Did your TV have that? The go back to the.
Last we had chip cable tell. Yep, sort of.
Wait, right, NTL? Yep, for the one. 60 and 61, but
the only downside is you had to stay up to 11:10 that's 12:10.
So it's. Really not that lit.
But if you stayed up for wrestling and.
I was that, yeah. Then you didn't have to watch
because you're. In the mid 2000s, yeah, you
didn't. I know.
Because they would just go here's 2 lesbians for 20
minutes. There was this is non is it?
There was. I got bought an Ali G book for
Christmas one year. And in it there was just all
these like babes. Yeah.
And there was these two, like, there was an image in it, and
there were these two black girls.
And they were like, sort of like embracing each other, but
whatever way their legs were wrapped around, they were hiding
their Faberge eggs. Yeah.
We want more for balls. But you could see there.
Can I say this? Yeah.
Rests. Right.
I couldn't get over that. Couldn't get overseeing boobs.
I couldn't get over that image like it distressed me, that the
the IT distressed me what that did to me as I I can't, I can't.
The image of you panicking because you have a.
Panicked. I panicked.
Is holder? Oh no, like when the hogs
changing for the first time it's knocking over shit.
I just, I just couldn't. I was like, this is this is the
pinnacle of it all. I loved it.
Do you know what? Terrifying.
There's some I like G banter in there too, like so.
Yeah, no, it terrifies me. I know Dennis would have had to
be the one to explain what that is to you.
He gave my dad gave me a birds in the bees chat once and he
literally went wore a decky boot and then left ice.
What the fuck is a decky boot? So my dad calls a condo a Decky
boot. Decky boots sounds like a
country singer. Genuinely.
He calls him Becky Boots. He went, wore a decky boots and
then he left and. Then he left forever.
Yeah, I still have a lot of trauma.
Good. People, do.
You know what? It's kind of funny when like.
I'm always trying to divorce. That's what people think I do.
Yeah. But they got divorced when I was
like months old, so it's not like.
Oh really? So you always had the.
Yeah. So it's not like it was taken.
It's not like what I grew up with was ever changed, if that
makes sense. It's only weird to people if
they grew up with like 1 unit, but if you grew up with the two,
yeah, it's not. Weird.
Exactly. And I used to always be like, no
honesty. And people are like, no, that
must, that must be really tough for you.
Yeah. And after a while I realised
that when you said yes to that you've got more stuff.
I say you're more leeway and school and all that kind of
thing. Yeah.
You know, so I'd be like, they'd be like, do you want a bit extra
because you're going between your mom and dad?
So do you want a bit more extra time?
And I'd be like, no, just treat me like everyone else.
And then when I realised that got you more like time and
stuff, I'd be like, just hope one day we can all.
I I get what you mean because I. Again, you never did.
I grew up like my brothers and sisters, living in a different
house than me, and that was normal.
Yeah. But anytime I explain not the
people, yes, it was bizarre to them.
I can totally understand why like kids say any, any age from
like, I don't know, I'm just saying 5 to 15, it would be it'd
be the worst thing ever, but I had no idea.
Yeah. Oh yeah, if you had it and then
you didn't have it. Yeah, because also kids that age
will tell you all of their family business even if you
didn't ask them. Yes 7 year olds are spoke up to
you and be like my mommy smokes in the bed and then just like
walks away. But then I couldn't work out why
when I was going to school and you'd hear like, oh, my mom and
daughter broken up in my head because at that age don't have
that much empathy. I was like, I don't know why
that would be so upsetting to you.
That's you know what I mean? No, you know, no, that's
absolutely not me. No, I'm a very empathetic
person. I actually AM.
And you put this out there that I'm not.
I do have. I am empathetic.
Everyone's avoiding my contact with me here.
I'm empathetic, you are. I'll check in on.
I agree, check in on people. You do you.
Do you normally check in on me thinking I'm really sad and I'm
just hammered somewhere? Yeah.
And I'm just telling you, I love you.
I check in or if I think our friends are having a bad time or
anything like that. No, you do.
I'll be there. You do.
I don't know why you're upset in the 1st place, but I will.
Oh yeah, I'll be there. You'll you'll be there to give a
hug, but if I tell you chat about it, you'd be like, all
right, OK. Yeah, yeah.
You'd be fixing your her midway through me like crying through
yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I'm just not over it. You like something I don't?
Think the new Doctor was really doing justice to the whole.
Doctor's a white man, all right. That's just what it is.
Something shouldn't change. Back to David Tennant, for
fuck's sake. Was he good?
I try to catch it. I think so.
He came back again, did he? He did, yeah.
Like Eminem. Yeah, he came back for like 6
episodes I think. I think I don't.
Know. What they check it out when
Peter Capaldi did it for a bit, because I love Peter Capaldi.
I'm not ready to be just another one of your mistakes.
He and everything. I thought he was having a tough
time, but he's able to. He can't do the concert, but he
can be Doctor Who. Just know we TARDIS.
But I love that actor Peter about just because of the thick
of it. Yeah.
So I tried Doctor Who with him and it's.
I love the way in the thicker, but he's like a fucking bastard.
Fuck, fuck this, fuck this. And then everyone's like, he's
not the same breakfast, he's not the same and Doctor Who, yeah.
Oh, is he not? Yeah, yeah, because he can't
walk. Up there's days we dialectia we
fucking bastard. Like of course he's not.
I never watched it. What dialects?
Dialects. Yeah, they're the robots who all
speak in different accents, aren't they?
Alex? You fucking?
Hello, Doctor Who. Where did I come from?
Where did I come? Hold on, hold on, just answer
this. Is that an accent?
So why could I not have done it? And by the way, I don't know
where that was. I just did it.
What? Accent.
Do you think that was? I'll do.
I do a very universal thing where I just say any accent.
But have you seen? Here's some different accents,
right? Hello, Doctor Who.
Hello, Doctor Who.
That's argument for me. Hello, Doctor Who.
That's better than the first time you did it.
Right. Yeah.
Hello. Talk to who?
OK. Hello, Doctor Who.
What the fuck is that? Are we?
Hello, Doctor Who? Yeah.
Hello. Hello, Doctor Who.
I just feel like you're Dalek, was very close to say, calling
the Doctor Bastard. Hello, Doctor Bastard.
That's how I felt you were going there.
Hello, Doctor Who. Scottish.
I can't do any Scottish. Hello, Doctor Who.
Hello, Doctor Who.
Hello, Doctor. OK, The Who?
I'm great at accents. You can't do a lot of I could be
you're good at impressions. Yep, Yep.
I can do 3. Yep.
And that's it. I can do a good being.
You're going to do 3 Doctor Who's because you're studied it
that much. Fuck you.
Oh. We're no parallel universal.
I don't know, I really haven't. I don't know even I even that's
it. I'm like, wrong.
Yeah, Yoshi from the Mario games.
That's. The only one I can do.
I don't know. That's a very good Yoshi, right?
That's always a It's a pointless impression because that's all
he. Says, Do you think with this
Germany top on that I could conceivably be German?
Without the Germany top, you could conceivably be German.
Yeah, but this adds to it. No, if I was, if I were to say
to you, it's great to be here. I love Belfast, great city.
For the German top, if anything takes away from.
Right, let's play a game where I've told you I think I have a
gift where I can look at someone and tell you where they their
faces from. Yeah, and I think I'm better at
this game than you are. Right, I don't.
So I've told you a few places I think you could be from.
I'll give you another one. Yeah, Bulgaria.
I look anywhere that's been hardened by economic crisis, you
fake. Yes.
You you look like you're from somewhere that's been occupied.
And then when they left, they haven't really got got back on
their feet. I look somewhere where they.
Do Balkan Europe, you could be like a Balkan gay Balkan from
the Balkan region. Where were what countries are in
the Balkan? Region.
I don't know. I do not know.
I look like somewhere. Where they do?
I'm sad that you asked me where it was.
They do a lot of physical labour but also eat a lot of carbs.
Yes, and you know guys that do the physical labour, but you
don't really do. It I would do it.
Right. We've played British Brit logs
together. You know I'm strong.
What about could I be from a slightly colder part of Spain?
No, you, you, you. How long, please, about you say
whether I could or couldn't be from there.
OK, I never spoke. OK.
And I'll tell you why, right? Poland.
Yes, you have a little Polish new paper boys face.
You look like you would. Get read about it.
Read about. It.
Yeah, no, Doctor Who, Doctor Bastard.
Canada. No.
No, America. No.
France. Yes.
Australia. Yes.
Cyprus. No.
Japan. Yes.
No, be serious, because we're. Being I'm being, I'm being
social. You look so Japanese.
Belgium. Yes.
Greek. Not Greeks are white people.
I'm going off only Stavros flatly.
Right. Which is me and Dave in the
premiere and when you guys are trying to sleep and we're in the
next door giggling. Foster, I could have given you
way more work in this episode by saying things that would have
needed cut out. If you can, please drop in a
Stavros Flatly image. When Willie mentioned Stavros
Flatly, that's him and Dave. That is the funniest thing in my
head ever. And if we do some comedians
fancy dress type thing and you and Dave don't go with Stavros
flatly, that's mental. Yeah.
Or if you don't want to do that, give me a thumbs up and I'll
tell people just to Google. Just look up Stavos flatly.
Or Stavros flatly. So let's let's play that game
now. So Fausty, can you or Georgia
shout out a couple of well known people?
They can be like, say like actors, singers, people.
Everyone will know. And me and Willie will tell you
where we think just by looking at them that they are from.
Yeah. Jackie Chan.
Oh, where? Where could he be from?
Oh, that's a great question. Any one of those places,
gentlemen, Sorry, those places. Any one of those places where,
sorry, they film movies and have good hairline?
Any one of those places? Anyone of those places?
Jackie is Jackie Chan is Chinese, is that right?
Yep, I think Jackie Chan looks like he could be is Chinese or
potentially sucks. What you are, Yeah.
You're really good at this game, Yeah.
What do you mean or or or Korean?
Or Korean, but North or Japanese or any one of the places around
that. Or give us somebody else.
Keanu Reeves. Oh, it's an excellent 1, Keanu.
Reeves. So take take your time, take
your time. Now what are what are you
picturing him as here era wise? You picturing John Wick matrix?
I've got John Wick in my mind. So long haired Keanu Reeves.
Yeah. Are we saying Europe?
Are we saying European? I'm feeling Europe.
Maybe. Maybe Scottish?
Nice. His cheekbones are too good to
be Scottish. And oh.
God, oh I don't like this. Help.
I'm in the walls. OK, that's it.
Now I was a. I was like poltergeist there.
I didn't like that. What is his hair?
Too dark to be Dutch. Dutch.
Perfect Dutch. Dutch so can't.
Yes, Keanu Reeves should be Dutch.
Yeah, or German. Yeah, yeah, I could see that.
Like it could be Dutch. OK, OK.
It looked like he'd be raging. So Keanu Reeves really is Dutch
who bringing up next Shia LaBeouf I.
Hate him, I hate Shia LaBeouf. Yeah, I'm not fond of his jib
either. Yeah, that's what he has a bad
cut of his jib. I don't like it.
I'm going to say Shia LaBeouf. Looks like he's from Galway.
Yeah, like. He's from Ireland but like, like
the opposite. And yeah, not from up here.
No, no, no, no, no. He's from Cork or Galway.
No, he's from Can I? It's John.
I could see. Him from like from like
Brighton. No, I know where he's from.
Sheffield. Yeah, he's from Sheffield.
We might. Yeah, he sort of speaks like
that. Alright, man.
Yeah, yeah, he's from Sheffield. Yeah, that's spot on.
Oh, there's the rock. Bring the rock up, please.
I'm going to go. I'm going to go Greek or Cypriot
Cyprot. What's Cyprot?
Cypriot, by the way, you laugh. Look up what people from Cyprus
are called Cypriot. I'm just lava, like I didn't
realise, like how leathery he is.
Yeah, but but taking that look into account, we're not talking
like attitude, WWE. Talking now.
Yeah, yeah. But what I'm saying is look at
him and tell me. Korea.
You know what, I'll, I'll, I'll give, I'll give you South Korean
and Greek. We're not allowed mixers.
Really. Yeah, but that could be terrible
out of context. Yeah, the races should be
separate, absolutely. I'm going to say he is one
parent from South Korea and another parent from Cyprus.
You happy with that? Yeah.
Or Malta maybe? Where is he from?
I know his dad's American. There's there's.
There's Simone. Simone.
Yeah. OK, who else we got here?
Matt Damon. Matt Damon.
Oh, all day long Polish. Yeah, yeah, some fucking
forehead on them, Terry, don't they?
I love him and Ben Affleck and a lot of people don't like them.
I love the turtle. Give us a.
Give us two more, please. I think we've kneeled,
genuinely. I think we've nailed all these.
Yeah, I think this is a game I don't even think people would
have ever played. Yeah, fucking shit music on
Elvis Presley, right? Elvis has a big old Irish head
on. Him he does.
A big old rural Irish head. He's from where's like a rural
part of down South. More I don't know down South.
I don't know rural places. I'm going to say like, eh, where
would Hardy box it? What's your story, boy?
Limerick or Limer L? Does Elvis not have a big old
Limerick head on? He does I He looks like a bar
man's son. He.
He always looks like he's just farted and he's waiting for you
to smell. Oh.
For fuck's sake, you can't throw that Jack away.
Oh yeah, that's it was difficult.
That's how you really challenge somebody in this game.
That Jackal right there, Columbia.
Fucking hell, Willie T that is a fucking brilliant.
Show where he that's from. But Jack was so difficult
because we could bring up 50 images and they would all be
different answers. Yeah, yeah, we freak like
because. By the end, he.
Was. Judy Dench, Right?
Let's make this the last one, right, Willie?
I feel like we've done an unbelievable job on this.
Oh, she's be Scottish face, but she is Scottish isn't?
She does she look like she wouldn't be at a place around
the bonfire celebrations. She thought she looks like she'd
run for the PUP when they were going.
Yes, yes. Raging about the Irish Sea
border. Yeah.
I could see her that. Yeah, she looks like she should.
She looks like she goes. I don't really bother with the
bonfires anymore. And then she goes and she's like
the last one there. Yeah, you know what I mean.
She looks like about Scotty receptionist who you'd go?
I feel sick. I should give you a glass of
water until you'd fuck off. Yeah, she looks like, Yeah, she
looks like at the bonfire. Should she'd like maybe like
have a wee snog with like one of the bonfire builders?
We're going very different areas with what you're you're not just
snogging people at a bonfire. Do you think more school?
No, no. She is.
Do you know when they're coming back around Templemore Ave?
She's got the wee flag around there.
She's going. Yeah, that's her.
She's the wee cowboy hat on the glasses.
Or. An echo falls on her.
Good God. Or teacher.
Retired teacher. Who always has a cardigan
runner? Who comes back?
She takes a choir. Yeah, she takes the choir.
We in the choir and Scott. Yes, well, yeah, yes, we strand
time primary should require we were unbelievable.
We're one of the best in the country.
I'm not making that up. He I owe you.
Is there any metric to judge the choir or were you just like
we're the competitions? Would you do competition over
the choir? What you're saying?
What was your what? Was the no diggity of Black
Street what would have done Sure to get done?
Good Lord. You're laughing.
For one time I scared the choir. We did Empire State of Mind and
I have to do the Jay-Z but. I'll pay any amount of money to
get that. Footage.
It's not, it's not about like. We we sang with the African
Children's Choir at the Waterfront Hall.
Remember when we did the Waterfront?
I was like, this is the second time I've been on this stage.
And what song did you sing together?
What did do they know? It's Christmas, Which, with
hindsight, was sly. Because we were.
They were that could be worse if you did Ebony and ivory after
it. Like that's so bad.
We. Were like, well, tonight, thank
God, it's literally them instead of us.
They won't have snow enough. And I'm like, like, these guys
mean it, you know? But I remember them.
They have Christmas as the clanging chains of Durham.
That's all. They have a Christmas.
I Remember Remember that line but.
Yeah, the. Oh yeah, Latrice.
What? How's that?
And the only bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of
doom. Well, tonight.
And I'm like, hang in the PlayStation, but at that age,
you don't know. Oh.
Is that is that Santa here? No, that's the clanging chimes
of them that you. Hear I remember I.
Remember songs fucked up? Getting on Deezer, you're like,
what is that song? Oh, it's a changing climes of
doom. Is it yes, the changing clangs
coming up next on say low? It's the clanging chance I'm
doing it right. I actually can't say it wrong.
But I do remember that they bought us all KFC because there
used to be a KFC right beside the waterfront hall across from
Macy Leisure Centre. Don't remember that KFC.
Who bought you KFC? Whoever was running the whole
night. Oh my God, so bad. 3 choirs on
the African Children's square and then there was AKFC right
next door and the schools must have got together or whatever
and been like give us all chicken that you have and chips
and drinks. So fucking racist.
That's so racist of him to do that.
Oh, we have a special children's choir from Africa.
What delicacies would they like? Fucking fried chicken.
They love that. That's ridiculous.
I. Think it was handiness that they
got it for us all. And I remember we all like
mixed. Like they were so good at like
like our schools just obviously sat together and you just help
people in your class. But the African children's choir
are like unbelievable by the way.
Like you see the difference in like a school choir from East
Belfast way in a Manger. These guys are like, it's like
having like 500 Bruno Mars. Like they are like, they are
phenomenal singing. They put so much energy into the
performance. They're singing, they're
dancing, and we're next to them, the stars and the bright sky.
And. But I remember when we all at in
like a huge part of the waterfront in between the
performances, they were just coming up like chatting
everyone. I remember being like, I'd love
to have that level of confidence.
Yeah, and I remember just loving that.
Shows. Brilliant.
My dad's a VHS of it and I at that point had lost all
confidence in my voice in the school of choir, so I used to
mine. Oh, you.
Oh, you were done. A Meli Vanelli.
I was the original. Oh my God they also saying feed
the world. They they, they joined in in the
course. That's fucked up, I know.
I'm so fucked up. But then and then whenever I
went to. Getting a scooter paper from
here flying them America and they're like do zombie.
Yeah, when I went to Big Boy School, then they were doing
auditions for the choir and I purposely sang bad so I didn't
have to be. Yeah, because I knew.
Well, I knew. Give me like, what's an old
choir song you would have sang? We see our choir, Glee was big
at the time, so our music teacher was just making us take
Glee covers. I love the I love to hear on
that, but at the time I would have don't stop believing.
Hold on to that feeling. St lights people.
I can see why you didn't get in the choir that was.
Me messing. But if I was doing it for real,
I've done this. You're the guy.
You're the teacher of this for the choir.
I come in next. Yeah.
OK. Really.
Yeah. OK, Mr Todd.
No better My name 11. OK, OK.
Shan, just try your best here, whatever you want to.
Mr Todd was fine, just a small town girl living in a lonely.
World, that's fine. Thank you very much.
No, I, I was, I was a good all rounder in the choir, but I
didn't want to do it. And then I was so good.
They got, they brought me into the Saint Dan's Cathedral choir
and I, and that's it. Getting a call up for like the
Brazil World Cup squad. Yeah.
In terms of local choirs anyway. Yeah, Yeah.
And they went, yeah, we do christen and all, and you get
like a fiver at a time. And I was like, it's
unbelievable. You just have to wear this.
And it was literally a purple dress.
And I went. That's not what I'm about.
No, I'm not crossdresser. I'm a singer, yeah.
Not dressed. I was like bitch for me this I
need you went. For Chappelle, you're not.
Put me in a dress. They were trying to bring me
into the Illuminati, yeah, early doors.
And I copped on them and I said no.
I auditioned for my primary school choir and I was like it
at the time and that they were like OK, do your song and I did
stone cold theme. So like, there are no words to
that song. So you went down?
Oh. But God, really, I was like,
didn't get in somehow. Yeah, I think if you asked me
now to be in a school choir, number one, to find that weird
and #2 I think I'd sing like, I think I do drift away, but I
think they'll be grey. I don't know that song.
How does that go? A little something like this now
again, if I'm in a choir I want to just show I can fit in with a
mid range voice. OK.
All right. OK.
So it's like this, but this isn't me doing it.
This isn't me doing it. Yeah, but I would be like, fuck,
I'm shy. I'd be like, give me the B
Poison free my soul. I want to get lost in your
rock'n'roll and drift away. I think if you're an adult, you
should do Daddy's gone by like Las Vegas.
Forget your dad. He's good.
He's good, he's good.
But he's going back. Not.
My name is Geraldine. I'm.
Your social worker. I do the school choir, only do
Las Vegas. The most depressing?
Babe, well why you not home yet? I'm gonna get stabbed.
I'm. Gonna get stabbed in.
A Baltic Fliddle. Yeah, I don't want to stop me.
I love that one. Glass Vegas, black and white,
Cobra Forest football tops, Geraldine, All that.
Yeah, that he's gone. They had a good one after that
too, but wasn't as my own cheating heart makes me cry.
I remember going through a breakup and hadn't cheated on
the person, but that song still, it was like fucking I played.
That was actually around the time my first time in Fringe as
well, which wasn't going well, right.
I went through a break up at that team.
And everyone sounded like the main gang, Las Vegas when you
were in. That album was on heavy.
We didn't. Fringe issue, yeah.
Yeah, during the the oh. No, I don't want you.
Please don't plug it. Don't plug it.
Don't plug it.
Frosty take out it. Are you there for the month?
What is Frosty? Frosty is frozen in time right
now. Frosty, Frosty.
Because you were saying about frozen in time.
Your brain made you say frosty and that's so funny to me.
I love how podcasts have made me realise despite my many years of
speech therapy, I still fuck a lot of words up.
Yeah because my mouth just closes randomly.
I'm like. I thought words up too.
Yeah, I know, but you're just an idiot.
Minds Disability. You see the way you said that?
It's like back in the day when you fancied someone and you're
slagging. You're a fucking idiot.
You're such a fucking stupid idiot.
Fucking. So how you flirting?
People fucking whatever. He's like, man, I'm a choir
master. Came over this thing Yeah, don't
even want that anyway. You fucking?
Your choir. Stupid bitch your.
Choir's fucking Liam anyway. He'd want to be in this shit
heap. Me, me, me, me, me, me.
Find you around the corners. Oh I used to do that when I was
like 10 if I fancied someone. I remember asking someone.
I've told you this before. I asked someone out, they said
no and I was around the corner saying I don't want to know by
Mario. She's like, do you want to go
with me? And she was like, eh, no.
And then my mates found me around the garage is just being
like, I don't want to know if you're playing me.
He was. That was quite funny, that time
in music, because all R&B back then was like alpha type stuff.
Yeah. And he came along and was like,
if you're playing me, keep it on the low because my heart can.
It was like, that's refreshing, yeah.
Drops a genuinely good verse yeah I don't really know where
you whereabouts or when you cruise and I know when you're in
the house and when you're moving we're.
Going to wrap it up but Daddy did a song with R Kelly and it
was called Was It R Kelly and it was they sampled the Lunas.
I got 5 on it. Yes, I know the one you mean.
I can't remember what it's called.
What's a good? Song, it's really good.
Can't play out these days. Eric Drake's They Saw.
We're on other people. Wagwan.
You're you're what's wrong with modern society?
That's an AI generated. Yes, it is.
It's not. It is.
It's a parody song, but it's not AI generated.
It is a generated. It's not listen to his voice in
it. It's a.
Is it on Spotify? It's on the other guy.
Spotify, yeah. Who's the other guy Snoddy
offers on Snoddy's here? It's a Drake release.
It's on snow. It's not no.
Drake features in it. Drake features in it.
Wagwan, Delilah. It's a do you think during a
time where his careers have an all time low, he's been he's
been dissed so hard. Yeah.
You think he's come back with he's gone.
I don't get them back. A song starts off Wagwan
Delilah. Last time he got this by Pusha T
who included the Lions Deadbeat motherfucker playing Border
Patrol. He came out with passionate from
miles away. He always imagine if he'd done
Delilah by Tom Jones my my my Delilah, but he.
Always tells that he'll get this like.
It's AI generated you. It's AI generated.
He confirmed. You're we fake news he.
Put it on his Instagram. No, he he's a lizard.
He put he put on his his his Instagram.
I'm a lizard and here's my new song.
Yeah, you know, I'm a lizard. Don't take the vaccine.
Here's my new song. Hey guys, welcome back to
Parliament Radio. We have an exclusive What about
the ladder? But.
It's good to see him have a :) again.
Yeah, we Marshall. He was in a dark place for a
long time. I'm.
Glad he's not going what wins he how fast I can do it.
That wasn't fun Yes because he doing it He went through that
period. He was like no I am good.
Listen how fast this. Is.
It's not fun, yeah. It's.
Not fun where you're like your guys hang on new I'm just
dropped. Hold on, I'll introduce it.
Yeah. OK.
Will I be me or like an American DJ Kenny game or Melbourne?
We've. Got a new one from Eminem coming
up on the House of Parliament FM.
This is a new one from Eminem and.
It wasn't fun that that's very Popeye.
No, you. Sound like an auctioneer.
Do do do do do do people like actually?
Sound like a horse race that's really close towards the end,
Yeah, like. Every once in a while, Tony.
McCoy, I'll bring you a taxi. Willie Waterfront.
Yeah, Waterfront on Yeah, the Nuri Colerain banger after party
in the March board Darium in the Millennium form.
I'm doing the Sugar Club in Dublin.
I'm also in the Edinburgh Fringe.
It's on my link tree on Instagram.
Click the link in the bio. Can you do me a favour?
Nope. Can you buy the domain?
William thompson.com. William Thompson Comedy.
I do need to do that. Yeah.
I'm I am I'm in talk to people to get a website built.
You heard it here first, guys. Yeah, he's in talk.
Stop the stop the front page. Read about.
Read about William Thompson in Top Secret.
I'm on the phone first. We're getting it done.
There will be a website.
There will. I am getting the website.
You're not. I am.
I've spoken to computer people. She and comedy, they'll call me
or come catch me on tour. Thank you to Willie T, as
always, for being a nice boy. You're not saying sorry, but
anything. What do you want me to sing?
I don't want to know if you're playing me.
Keep it on the low because my heart can't.