Patreon.com/tea with me podcast Hey, this Friday we are putting
out the boozy Bake Off Patreon exclusive special.
She and Todd see watches. The heart rate is going up
because we're talking about it. She and Todd.
Dave Elliott, William Thompson, Mickey Bartlett, Diona Doherty
Drunk making food in front of our host Andrew Ryan and Andrew
Smith ex big off contestant from what we could.
We put in as much as we could legally put in and it's great.
It's a great time. It's going to be worth this
Friday Patreon lock home slash tea with me podcast.
The link is in the description. I've got a theory that threw
your way. Go for it.
Think about this for a while. Some people agreeing me, some
people not agreeing with me. First of all, I don't know if we
talked about this before. I I believe in some form of
alien life. Right.
Some form of other life? Before I present my theory, do
you believe in some form of other life?
There has to be something, but I mean, I think there's like.
Actually. I I don't think there's boys
walking about but I think there is like tadpoles and Mars or
something. I've seen a photo this morning
of a brick wall. Marsh, What you did?
I did. I swear to God there's like a
wall. Jiggy Long Musk's doing is
already doing like a little little bit of labouring up.
There, that was too tidy for Muskie.
Ski this. Was a very nice.
So I don't think he'd be doing anything.
He's maybe send them boys up. So I caused billions.
Just to eat Belfast bricky. It had fell already.
Yeah, just collapsed. I do.
Into a brick wall I. Swear to God I'm not lying.
You have to be, because it would be the biggest news story of all
time. It would be the big.
Sure. Here's here's here was my
theory. Not six months ago there was
aliens over New Jersey throw like UFOs.
Up in the sky at night. I was waiting to hear, boys, we
have new leaders here. Heard no hunt.
I don't know what happened, so none surprised me.
And then the liver king had a breakdown, so we're all like,
ah, right, OK, we're on to the neck, you know?
See from Mars the liver king. Liver King.
I think that's what he needs. Was this the boy who tried to
kill Rogan? He's still trying.
Yeah, it turns out the liver
King Mental, the guy who eats the innards of of raw meat.
Raw meat is Cookie. Yeah.
Yeah, You know. Is this podcast beef with like
the Rogan say he was a decade or?
Liver King will eat any kind of beef or.
Get them on them, you'd love that.
Right. Couple things at play.
I haven't even presented. Put my theory on the backburner.
The wall on Mars, Yes. You mean you've seen an object?
You've seen an object shaped like a brick wall on Mars.
Yes. Right.
Yes. Who?
The sands done that? Or has nobody done it?
Because we're people already up there.
They're not people. Organisms.
No cameras. I that we've seen.
Mars, yeah, yes, but there's nothing happening up there.
We MG Rover, Yeah, but, well, there's a wall, Yeah.
So there's something's going on. But it's like a rock shaped like
a wall. But what I'm saying is.
No, no, no. There's slabs on top of one
another. No.
Have you seen the guy who goes around where?
Is it in England Like the Peak District or something?
I feel like in the head of NASA here, don't be arguing.
I'm just, that'd be no good to me.
Houston, we've got a handle on here.
Our reverse boys take it back. We're fucked at this time.
We'll do it again in another 20 years.
I would lie. I went to NASA in Florida.
I right correct? What did you go for?
The rocket launch missed it of the gate of Close.
You're looking the wrong way. I was actually, well,
disappointed. Like they have a.
Did you go to the NASA wait? Wait, I was in Florida with the
woman years ago. X right killed her and not to
get rid of her somewhere they know Gators hungry.
No, we went to Florida Disneyland and the herd is a
Cape Canaveral. Yes, and I got a car and they've
slipped to it and they have a wee like place where you watch
the Rockets. But now there's fuck.
Was it like a big, well, obviously it would be a big
rocket. Was it a monumental type one
they were sending up specifically, you know, Apollo,
whatever. No, I do believe it was like a
satellite launch or something. Right?
And I was railed up to no end. Horn again?
Oh, Sammy, at least. And I was like, this is going to
be great. The next thing went off and it
was like 25 mile away and I was like, ah, I was well,
disappointed though, yes. But it was good to see it like,
yes, there's a lot of fun live in Florida.
I've been to Florida but I didn't do anything NASA stuff.
Does it on. Just theme parks, yeah, all the
parks. Maybe a big park when you go
back, yeah. You're big.
You're you're Disney outlet. No crucial.
Well, I was going to say I go with the kids, but I've been
before, but not with the kids. But we're in a big group here,
right? Listen, we were in Florida
longer than just doing the parks.
Does that make sense? Right.
We didn't go to just do the parks.
We were on an American trip and for two days if it did the
parks. So I think that's fine.
And I didn't pay for any. What would you say?
Like intimate Disney moments. So for this episode of TV
podcast is sponsored by none other than That Prize Guy,
Ireland's largest competition site, and then some That Prize
guy.co.uk he as well as sponsoring every big fight
event, not just in the UK and Ireland, but on a global scale.
That Prize Guy is doing competitions that I mean just
feel like they don't make sense as well as making 9 millionaires
and giving over I think over £135,000,000 in prizes to date.
He's doing competitions like Give me one done.
He's given away another car. This time it's a Lamborghini or
underground in cash. A Lamborghini or 100 grand in
cash? How much could you sell a
Lamborghini for? Oh, I'm gonna guess maybe 130 a
140, Take it. Then.
Yeah, OK. But then you have to find a
buyer or take it and drive it. Yes.
Would. Be the option.
I'm going to guess a ticket for that would be somewhere in the
region of £700. Currently it's 30 P.
Are you joking? Never joke about that price guy.
Thatpriceguy.co.uk the link is in the description.
I fell out with a dolphin on them.
Fucking Discovery Cove, you're that.
The Florida No. It's like the aquarium.
The animal Kingdom. No, it's like a separate park,
right? And they swim with a dolphin,
right? And this one dolphin fucking
hated me. I kind of fell and he dragged me
out to the deep end and left me there.
And the trainer had to go go back.
And then he started doing the wee thing with a new nose as
what? Say no.
But I was like, oh, 'cause this adorable.
I said the constant left me here to drone and then I go.
Then he eventually did come back and I slept on the rocks and
fell on top of him again. And then he started splashing at
me. And I said from then on the
dolphins were cunts. And everyone was like, oh, you
can't say that. And then it turned down that
they are cunts. Remember, they're killing
people. Yes, in SeaWorld.
No, out in the wild. And I was like I told you.
They're they're rapists too. Straight.
Well, I didn't want to say that because there's a family.
Show all speed of speed. I know, but when people need to
know about dolphins? The rape I don't mind, but bad
manners I can't debate leaving the man out the drone.
A lot of people might say that's the worst bad manners of all
time. Well, if he's nice about it, you
can't, you know, you can't fault.
Them had you? Were you doing this with the
woman at the time? Yeah, it was.
Yeah, we were holidays like. Yes, but was she also on the
dolphin experience? There was like 12 of us, you had
to sign up whatever and roll in the wet suits.
Everyone else was ground but me. This feels like this sort of
trip, like a young lottery winner would do.
It was her. Her family was going oh.
Right, like. Do you want to come as well?
I was like. Nicer.
See the world a wee bit. My theory is.
Right, you back to Mars again. Well, well, first of all, what
I'm saying not yet. See when they do a bit of
pictures up on a planet, there's no aliens there.
If you don't see them straight up, you would, you would see
something. So keep trying different.
See more other life or more. If the Rover's been going around
or and there's nothing there, there's nothing there.
Was a big plan up? I know, but right?
Say you land. Say aliens were to land the
camera on Earth. You'll see something.
No matter where you land, you'll see something.
I. Don't know.
There's there's vast events of nothingness.
You ever been to Calvin? You put a camera on Calvin?
Nothing. The only thing we see is a Quinn
say yeah. Wrestling Sean Quinn.
He's not dead. Like, no, you know what I'm
wearing. Do you ever see the boys in tech
talk that do the He'll get the coordinates for a mop and he'll
go on it and he'll go. I know what that is.
Yeah, I can do that, but only within like a 50 mile radius if
you show me a random picture of a random straight.
You'll work it out. I'll figure it out.
Can we? What area are we talking?
I'll do do like thrown from anime right?
I've seen multiple things on Facebook.
But if you get like a Google Earth image or something.
I'm weirdly good at that. I'd love to see you in America's
Got Talent. Just doing that, just doing that
Harry Mundell I've ever see clubbing.
How he's like, that's a dump in cash.
Don't touch me, I come for a little bit of CD, isn't he?
That's a wild disease. You'd be kind of like that,
wouldn't you? You're very clean.
I like, I'm not weird about the way things sit or did I or I
need to close this door three times or anything like that, but
I do like to have a plan for how the day is going to go.
But would you be very like, you know, if you like stay in your
T-shirt, would you have to change it straight away?
Stand it with what? Where am I just?
Anywhere. No, totally depend.
Alright, I'm about it's a white T-shirt.
I'm about to work coffee. And I miss the moustache.
Did you get rid of it? Well, if you have to ask.
I I seen Eclipse and I was like, he suits that we Tash, you know.
Where were you 2 weeks ago? Why?
Why you would still be here off? Because of the public backlash
to. The public backlash.
Yes, yes, I'm personal and private.
I I liked it. You were like a field magician
or something. You're like, no, you look that
looks that suit you. You're kind of like you're
getting that you're the boy. The magician's apprentice.
You know the boy used to take damsons the train tracks.
Yes. And he'd curl up the.
You could be a wee bit of that. I think he should that though.
I was enjoying it, but just too many people and then son said to
me, don't like. You can't be given under public
pressure. You know what's what your son
says. You know well with the way for
what you think of it. Said it was like Oh no, it's
great. And then when I got rid of a
check brilliant, you know which is real love have.
You ever had a beard? I couldn't.
You can't grow one no patchy. Have you tried like?
Patchy and blonde. Oh, you know.
So just you can't see it what? It's fluffy.
You can't see it, but it's her. But then when I shave it, it's
all black in the sink. It turns collar.
No, it was black, but I never knew it until I saw it against
the white of the sink, because my face is quite.
Dainty. No.
Yeah. What the word no no when you're
tanned. Sala.
Mohamed Salah. Salah skinned.
Swarthy. Swarthy.
Yeah. Never heard all of them.
I'd be, I'd be swarthy. So if I was Peel, you would see,
maybe you would maybe see a little bit more.
But listen to me, aliens, people go, you go.
There has to be something. Right.
But I presented this on a bonus episode a couple of weeks ago.
What if we are the aliens? We've no UFOs.
But what? But what I'm saying is what if
like think of how different we are to every other animal in the
world. Like look at us some we.
Evolved from some glasses. But but what?
But what if we didn't? We're all mistakes.
What I'm saying is right. Think, look, look at this like
what other animals are doing this?
Oh, I'm not going to. He's doing very well, but, uh,
only never. Sleeps but uh.
Money never sleeps many millions.
Enough fusion. According to Google my net worth
3 million. Oh, I heard two William
Thompson's flat out bringing cash the credit union fee.
He's like a Hobbit can through Belfast.
We sacks on his back. That's the apex you ways you're
like. You ever see the desolation of
smog? Like a big dragon with gold
coins? Oh.
I thought you meant Smeagol. I reason it too.
No, not him. And Willie's just the wee
Hobbit. Yeah, get a pound off you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think there probably is
life, but it's. No, but males away.
But what if we? What if we are different?
Every animal, every other animal in the world is out in nature,
eats its food raw, doesn't wear clothes.
I. Think of how you like humans,
right? As a species, we're we drive
cars, we have Internet. We, we are so much more advanced
than literally any other animal. There's no other kinds of
animals who are nearly doing what we're doing.
No. Do you get me?
Yes. There's no, there's not a gang
of Gibbons. Look here.
Look, man, look, look, man. Here, here, here.
Just about to, you know, invent something.
OK. But how?
But how come we have we've we're doing everything.
Oh, you're trying to say that we were from a different planet and
we landed here? Yeah, could be right.
When? Uh, millions of years ago.
Right. You ever watch Avatar?
Yeah. Somewhere that kind of thing.
But we came after the dinosaurs. Where from?
What if we came? What if we did come from a
different? Planet.
I thought we came from like Roosters into fish, or fish into
Roosters, monkeys, apes, primates, Stone Age man.
But how do we get all this like? All this.
Electricity. Ingenuity.
No electricity. There.
Yeah, but Tesla, nobody else is doing it.
No other animals are doing it. So we must be aliens because you
think of the way a giraffe would look at this.
You wouldn't know he's looking at.
Yeah, which is the same if we were looking at the aliens.
We wouldn't know if we're in it or not.
Their technologies are advanced. But our technologies advanced
for ferret. Yeah, right.
So you can't say we built that Walmart.
I'm trying to say we. Did you watch a documentary last
night or something? This is I've heard people say
this before. We, we might be the aliens, but
we are. So we're on a different way of
length to all other animals in the world combined.
Monkeys are quite smart. Yeah, but they're not.
They're not. They're not.
Making chips. Well, if you give them an air
fryer. They're not.
Do you want us to get a lock of monkeys and breed them and see
if they'll invent them and. Patreon special.
Yeah, I don't want that. I think it'd be laws or
something. Peter a bit the door.
Yeah, I, I know. I just think there's something
in that. Like would you like to go to
another planet? No.
So you want to see all the space
mission stuff? Like, remember Katy Perry and
all those ladies went into space?
No, they didn't. They just.
They. Just went up.
They don't do space. Yeah, the audio of that wasn't
great. Yeah, then just screaming.
Yeah. I enjoyed it though.
I could see, I think I could see you floating about.
I'd go to space. No, Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No ball at all and not come back like.
But would you mind the what if you were by yourself?
Even better, even better, you think you could do a couple of
years up there? I'd drive.
Do you ever see the Martian map them?
No, but I know what it is. If I had that, I'd be ground.
He's there in spuds. His own shape, No.
He's stuck by himself. What is he doing planting it?
He had, he was, he got lost, but.
What's that going to turn into? He'd manure to plant spuds.
He eats manure. No, no, no, he used his own
manure to grow spuds. You're telling me I shit in the
ground tonight? Water for a few weeks.
Dolphin. What?
No, you need seeds. Potatoes.
Did you try that? You want potatoes?
I wouldn't advise it, but hey, they had seeds and stuff and he
made like a wee. It's a great fellow.
I really like that fellow. So is there see?
Is there seeds for every food that grows in the ground?
Well but like if you took a spud and put it into the ground it
would grow more spuds. No wind, no wind.
But if it's already grown, it'll.
Grow more. No it doesn't.
You wouldn't last the day in the whales, sure.
I know you'd be dead with an error.
I know. You'd be like, I'm an alien,
don't touch it. Have you ever been out camping
in the whale with your own Oh? Why give me the designated
campsite? No, no, no.
Designated company. Way in the stacks.
No, no, no, no. Because here's what I wouldn't
want in the middle of the night. Knock, knock, knock.
But there's no, there's no houses in them.
You build a full bungalow where you're waiting for help.
That's a Hollywood of me. I'm like, it would take these
men so long to build me a cottage for this camp.
There's. No, I would hate that.
I imagine that you're camping the middle of nowhere.
Oh, you hear from me outside your tent, all right, You know.
Then you know you're saved. I get lost in the guards and
lands once. By yourself.
Actually panicked a wee bit. I was like, it's starting to get
dark and all. I just had walked way too far.
You were doing something weird out there.
I wasn't, it was little. It just went out.
It was a nice to be someday. I was like, I want to go for a
walk. I didn't believe maybe in COVID
times and I walked and I walked. There was something, there was a
weird, there was a dark edge to what you were doing well.
There's dark edge to everything I do.
That day. It was pure innocent.
Thankfully, somebody came down the bike trails.
Yeah. Isaac, Sir, can you please tell
me how to get out of here? And he's like, no, neither, no,
he just said follow this track then.
Separate This episode of the TV podcast is also sponsored by
none other the Nord VPN I'm taught what does VPN stand for
stands for Virtual Private Network.
I used to need info up on the screen to tell me what this was,
but not anymore. With AVPN, first of all, you can
have one account and have that on 10 devices, iPods, iPods.
I scream, you scream all all the things you can have it.
You give one to your dad, to your cousin, to a lover.
Yeah. If you want to protect them when
you're joining, like public Wi-Fi hotspots, you can protect
your personal details, your banking details, passwords,
etcetera. And also the beauty of it is you
can access content from all around the world that
geographically is blocked to you.
For example if you are in Denmark and you want to watch
some BBC iPlayer you can with Nord VPN you can get your
effects of Mr Tumble nordvpn.com if you use the code no
nordvpn.com/T with me. And you can get four months free
on a 2 year plan. Serious, the link is in the
description, but would you be like, I know you're like a
country guy, but do you like like outdoorsmanship, you know,
tents and stoves and all that kind of stuff?
No, they're like I'd like. A wander of.
Prepping. Yes.
Now, years ago you were in sea, and if you'd done that, no.
Doomsday Prepper. With everything that's going on,
you're like, oh that man's ways. I would love a wooden shed just
full of beans and Peaches. See, I'm too particular with
food like. That was the end I.
Wouldn't want to put in it. I'd leave the shelter and die.
So if there's a new kitten for your house, you're going to go
can I have a steak or something? If there was a new kitten from
my house and I saw the food and 10s I'd be like let me run in
and get the gluten free hobnobs here.
He's just out of the door. Please.
Take me. I'm ready.
But did the hot? Does it have to be underground?
I think so. Yeah, my uncle had one in his
garden when he bought the house. A bunker?
No, like a like an arid shelter. How rich is your family?
No, this was a yeah, Yeah, This probably would have been
previously a conscious. This was like tiny.
It's just because it was in East Belfast.
It had a like a. It's almost like a shed.
Underground. May have known what's
underground. How long so it went from an
underground arid shelter to a home based garden shed.
No, it was like it was brick and it was during the Second World
War. If there was a bomb coming that
would get in when he bought the house, that was just a feature
of the house. But.
That's just a shared. Was there a call in it?
No, there was just cherish. Sounds like a small house.
It's just. No tiny.
I mean from like me to mark and probably like my height.
Just a weird. House, yeah, just like an old
house. But that's if there was bombs,
that's where they would have went.
Would you have been a gullible child?
No. No, no.
But that actually is what it was.
That is what it was like. How do you know?
Because he told. You because he told me and he
wouldn't lie to me. Like what do you have?
No, but I. Usually might see my helicopter,
the four wheels. I parked it out the back there
but she goes. Are we underground thing?
I would hate that. Would you?
You'd lose your mind. I'd lose.
I think I'd thrive in that name. I don't mind travelling all by
myself and all that sort of thing, going away on tour, but
as long as I have activities and things to do.
That's why you need to start prepping.
You can bring down all your toys and stuff.
I don't have toys. Well, you bring down we game
boards and game boards I'm sure you've known.
Why you Second World War Child? It's the end of the world and
who has hit your house? Yeah, and you won't make that
better, Cluedo. It would.
Yeah, it might actually. You're not going to fit the
easier faithful. Yeah.
You'd be glad of it. You'd be glad of Monopoly out
here. Somebody told me recently
monopolies contact listener. What like you don't use money in
monopoly you can top? No.
To pay other people in the games not right.
Yeah, I can't remember who told us up with someone.
Somebody told it comes with the debit.
Yeah, it comes with cards and you card reader.
So say you buy a property off me, you can just top instead of
give me the money. That's terrible.
No, actually, that's the end. No cash anymore.
If you had the play, if you were in an area shelter and you just
had to play one board game, what would you play?
Eh, Twister get a bit of hit, go on Twister or no no.
Hate your hit? What do you call the one with
the you pull the we break suit Jenga.
Oh yeah, Main Jenga.
Yeah, the 9/11. Special.
Oh, I maybe that's dark side of me, you see.
Yeah, but no, I never like Monopoly.
I love monopoly. I like having a portfolio like
yeah, yeah, you would like build up what you portfolio, start
lending people money, pet making them pay me back an extortion.
Of your own shark, Yeah, You'd be bad here.
You were a gangster. Yeah, yeah.
What would be your? Tour with my animal moustache.
I would be about a top part. I'd be that we guy on the board.
If you come out of a black cab without there, I'd be terrified.
Like take it all. If you were a gangster, what
would be your pack of poison? They would be loan shark and
bank robberies. Haste.
Fine art. Why art replicas?
I said that too fast. Art replicas start.
Printing out the Mona Lisa. Yeah, I'd start off a. 4 BA 4.
I'd yeah I would do like art replicas and sell them.
How would you do that? Painted yourself.
No, I would you Am I in olden times or no?
No. Oh no, big screen prints.
I seen the Mona Lisa there last year.
Very disappointment. In the Louvre probably.
It is shit. A Mona Lisa does look like a
big. Massive and there's just statues
of men with wee willies. Yes, they all did back in the.
Oldest I do know. The statue.
But when are we going to get to the point where like just a big,
obnoxiously large cock like. Did you watch 28 weeks?
She literally is. No, but there's been quite a lot
of chat about it, Michael seen. It literally the first weekend
I've seen it when I heard nothing of it and this guy is
zombie with 28 minutes later just like not even it was it was
sore looking. Right.
Yes, yes, it'd be a burden. Yeah, like it wasn't like I
wouldn't be proud if I had that. Yes, but I was reading.
I don't think it's real at all. That can't be real.
But was it zomb of like? Was it that it have like the
taste? Marks off.
Yeah, but that it look all like battered and zombie asking
swords. And all.
Well, it was bothered because it was literally.
Well then it wouldn't have been hit.
I don't know. I wouldn't like to have that.
And how big are you chatting? It was a brave, lengthy.
Show me your hands. And it was Show me your hands.
Fat there's like you ever get a big kebab?
That's the head of it. Just no.
Well, that's POV, no? It's the girth.
Right, right, right, right. It was effect lump of a thing.
We pin deck. What?
We pin deck. Sheen of this thing you, you'd
never walk again. It was a brute like.
But Kelly Murphy gets his, gets him made out in the first well.
Funny you say that. Whenever I knew this film was
coming out, I went back and started watching just to watch
this. I didn't know that that was
there. I know that I feel like a no
Killian from up and I've seen the Willy.
I was like, oh Jesus, kill him. Put that away.
So is that his Willy? That is his Willy I good, good
cork Willy. Yes.
It's appropriate from a man from court.
That's all you want to be told you're well, he's appropriate.
Yes. No.
Appropriate. Well, perfect, yes.
Paul Bush, did he? Oh yeah.
Well, he was in hospital for like a month, unconscious.
Yes. Good growth, yes, but now
there's zombie penis no call for to talk.
But are they getting bigger in every movie then of the 28
series? So 28 years later, it's going to
be God Jesus. No, it'll just be old cock.
Would you be into the zombie movies?
I'm getting into anything. I'd watch anything, but I've
kind of watched that much now and I used to never watch horror
films. Yes, that.
All I've left is horror films. I haven't seen a horror film in
15 years, 10 years. What was the last one you
watched? Oh, the.
Race in the woods or something. A place in the woods.
Carbon in the woods, something like that.
It was horror comedy, was it not?
Horror and then it turns into comedy.
And at that point it went, now I'm like I supposed to do horror
movies do I'd be jumping. Tell you what I jumped at the
most I want Harry Potter was in. Not not Harry Potter.
Daniel Radcliffe was in. The woman in the window or the
woman in black? Never jumped at a movie more in
my life. The worst I ever had was a
member. I was only a Cub.
And do you remember Mel Gibson signs?
Yes, all the crop circles. Yes, and there were a part in
the film where he was fighting your friends in the basement,
the aliens. All right.
Didn't know that was going. And it it the light went out, so
the screen went black and the cinema went black.
But you could hear them fighting with them.
And somebody grabbed my leg and I thought I scattered
everywhere. Nothing better than a well timed
grab of the leg. Oh fuck, it scared the life of
me. My my dad will still say you
were and I don't know why you would be at the zoo with my dad.
Me and Dennis you've. Got your hand?
Stranger things have happened. We're collecting monkeys for
you. You've got.
Your hands on the reel and you're looking over to other wee
cage monkeys. My dad will grab your ankle.
One of those. It is a pure dad movie.
Big time big first. Class yeah big fat there's past
way dad jokes and dad moves is my favourite yes Favourite thing
yes I tried them and get us that time and he's like what?
The fuck? Yeah, you're not my dad.
Yeah, we'll be ordering McDonald's and like, and what
are you? Using he's in bed at night.
Mark, what are you talking about and what would you like to
bring? Is we send him a snack or do you
at all? I'm very, very vanilla now with
the whole thing. I'll just get a wee small
popcorn and a wee Coke 00 right now.
I've had the wee hot nuts and I've had the Doritos and stuff
like that there. What thank you for Nah, I've
seen cinemas now where they'll give you a full like fry.
Yes, yes. Me.
That's torture. Yeah, yeah, I'm in like.
Aye, so I'm just like, no I'd. Rather, there's the fancy one in
Belfast. I still haven't been.
To I'd love to go to Britain. Apparently it'd be good.
But I mean, I wouldn't get a full fucking roast dinner.
You're not getting a shark. Who?
Charcuterie. Who's she now?
Cheese. Cheese, board.
Charcuterie, Cheese and meats. Meats, raw meats.
I don't like all that board stuff, you know, cheeses your.
Plate Mom. Just plate.
Yeah, just plate. I'd have a very.
Finger food. I'd have a Yep, I'd have a very
plain pulp. I'd be very.
Very. I don't like and I don't like
multiple courses. Some guy attacked me online
there recently. I said Nando's was just KFC.
And. I can't stand by it like you
know, and he was like, how dare I?
He lost me at called Nando's KFC and he was like, what do you
say? It's literally in the name.
KF stands for Fraid. I see you were Kentucky.
Friday, I see you were talking to my burner but it's different.
How sure KFC does grilled chicken too.
I've had it, umm, check and check.
The same thing as going McDonald's and Burger King.
Same sameness. Absolutely, yeah.
But Nandos and KFC, totally different beasts, different
experience way. Different experience.
Different experience, different food, different experience.
Let's. Just check him.
Yes, but you are in Nandos, you are having a Portuguese
experience. Oh, I forgot, you're getting
paid on the table for them, aren't you?
In that way you're. Can I tell you something now?
Yeah. It's gonna sound like I'm lying.
I've never been paid in my life by Nando's.
Am I not wrong saying you have a black yard?
I don't even think they exist. Oh, bought and sold.
If you could have a black card for anywhere, what would you
have? The breaks, the bar in Europe
bar. I was actually raging.
I would love one of them. Tim Gallagher got one.
You're joking me, but they give them like a card.
But there was like. And.
The dollar was like, do you know, there's like a million
coffees on this chart or whatever?
So it's essentially a black yard and.
Obviously Tim's heart rate at the minute.
Actually, probably, I think he only thinks frank and honest.
I was like typical, yeah, but I get I take one of them, but I
don't like any reason. Barista bar versus Frank and
Honest is a very it's a very heated is it to beat.
I don't know as a brace the bar man, but I don't mind the frank
and honest now. I I think I'd like.
I think I like either. I think either.
Or, OK, but I mean, there's a gay we know who's a real coffee
snub. And I mean, go on.
I would rather have the brace the bar.
We just hit a button. Yeah.
As opposed to some gay that's sitting for 35 minutes. 100%
with the and. This doesn't taste as nice.
And he's like, no, you're wrong, your palate's all wrong.
I was like. Yeah, piss off.
Have you had any online beef recently?
No, I don't really read much that was only it was actually on
Spotify. Why you haven't?
I haven't beefs on Spotify. I like being niche.
Yes, literally my response was a lot to unpack here.
I'll have to go and think. No episodes until further
notice. So you cancel the show over the
head of it? I hope you're happy.
Do you make yourself a Spotify playlist ever?
Now I'm a YouTube Music mom. I pay for premium.
Yeah, I favourite premium but I've never met a YouTube Music
man. Have you never met?
AI literally have like 'cause I got the premium with no odds and
I was like, oh, this comes with it.
It made complete sense like very normally and then I tried
Spotify and the other ones. I was like this is a kind of a
wine yes. It's very confusing.
So just stuck with. What sort of playlist would you
create for yourself like? I have a lot of movie
soundtracks. No, I don't like lyrics.
I just like like, you know, like Pirates of the Caribbean around.
Yeah, or. Fucking so you don't like what
about Braveheart? Interstellar.
Great soundtrack. Interstellar.
The Spanish one I.
Don't know. I don't know what Braveheart
soundtracks like. I think I don't have it.
Hans Zimmer, Big Hans Zimmer fan.
Yes, he's the fucking GOAT. What about sometimes I have him
by Campbell, like they'll do like, you know, in Saint Dan's I
was that. Did you go to 1?
Was it lovely? It was great.
Wasn't him there. It was just like covers.
Yeah. Yeah.
Phenomenal. Yeah.
Top class. Would you be, do you like live
concerts? Like I went there a couple of
the Bell Sonic gigs recently, Would you hit that?
Hit them. Yeah.
I was at one month. I used to do a bit about it and
stage was oxygen, right? Worst time of my life.
I would, I would never thank you for a festival.
The only one had done well of Pitbull, the seas knocking out
on stage that you see that. Oh everyone were in the ball
caps and he has to pretend he loves it.
No, some guy, there's a video, some guy was thrown stuff on
stage, No. And he was just like happy, come
on, head up on stage. He got on stage.
He's just fucking. Oh yeah, as a good man Pitbull.
But you see everyone now, pitbulls had a real renaissance.
Look, yeah, I was used to laugh at me.
I remember one time he's a hoodie.
Listen, I was like Pitbull. I was like pound for pound
bangers. Yes.
And every shoe I've ever seen of him, he puts his all in that.
You can tell, oh, do you know about this?
There was, he was doing some sort of like paid promotion
thing with like Costco in America, right?
Like a supermarket. And there was a competition
where you go on and vote for your local Costco to host a
Pitbull concert, right? So he's going to do an in store
concert. And trolls hijacked the
competition. And when there's a Costco out in
Alaska in the furthest town from civilization in the world to a
town of like 300 people, let's get people to play there.
Because he thought he was doing New York or LA or something.
And that place one and put Pitbull went, fuck is I'm going
to put on a banger of a concert. Yes.
And everyone loved it. And he went down, he did it and
he was like, this is great. This is what it's all about.
Yeah, every other probably person would have went now.
Fuck yeah. He found a way of it.
Or that oxygen he was on and they put on a show Snoop Dog was
on and he didn't care. David Guetta.
I couldn't even see him behind the smoke.
This one's dedicated to the family of George Floyd.
Yeah, that's before George Floyd.
This one's for Big Tom. All right, Peter.
No, it was good. No, I hate unlike even because
we got we got like a package deal.
So we were supposed to, we stayed in this hotel.
The hotel set up a bus. It was like perfect 40 minutes.
Where from where it was. The bus brought us there and
they told us right, this bus is going to be back here at 2:00 AM
and another one at 5:00 AM. So it depends where you want to
come. So me and the woman was like
come and bother this we'll go home at 2.
Boss didn't come. Three Boss didn't come four.
No boss right, right. OK, obviously he just went
screwed. I'm just going to come at 5.
Boss still didn't come. And so there was about 50
people. And at 7:00 AM in the morning,
the guy was like, this place is closed, you just need to go.
Yeah, unfortunately some guy had like a spare box.
People. I'm having that Alaska voice.
He's coming and all the places, like everyone go back to the
hell and went mental. The guy just didn't come back
and I was just like, I've never been to a festival.
So Nah, I don't think I'd be a festival guy.
These are in Timberlake there, Yes.
Good. From where we were, we were
standing back corner kind of off to the side.
Yeah. Happy to just like be out of the
crowd and have a better, you know, I like to put my coat
down, you know, what sort of thing?
Yeah, have a wee table to put the drink on.
Umm. So I thought it was like, fine,
fine. But then anyone in the middle of
it said it was brilliant. So it's two different
experiences. I've seen the video with him
like the day before he was here. He was a great hump on a brim
shaft on stage. Yes, he'll do that like.
Really. I mean he was going away.
He was happy enough. He did.
He sexy back. Oh oh.
Greatest Hits. But you could like, I don't
know, I think the thing with him is he was seemed like he was a
real cool guy for a long time. And then people started going
he's not cool. And then everyone looked I don't
want Oh fuck, that's right. Like.
The table's third the. Second, someone just mentioned
to you like, it's not cool. You have to start going.
Oh, yeah. But I miss it.
Like, I'll, I am terrible, like waiting for people to tell me
something's not cool. And then I go, oh, yes, yes.
Like Joe Benson, Boone. I.
That beautiful thing. So OK, so he's getting killed
online. People are like, this is the
death of music, him and all these artists and he's doing
that like beautiful things on his back, flipping on his
concerts and all that sort of thing.
Up until that point, I've been watching him going music's back,
finally a real artist and he's doing gymnastics and then people
are like, he's shit, but I go. Yeah, but see if you know you're
given into peer pressures. Your problem if you went no he
is cool, tables might turn. Yes, and he has a moustache, so
that's why I'd probably like. Him.
Is that where you grew? No.
You should have him on here. I'd love to have him on here.
Where? Are you from?
Somewhere in America, he's American.
All those guys get killed. You've seen that guy doing the
You'll be married in a year in. Suburbs.
Is he an actual singer? Was that just a random gay?
He's a singer, but he's done great at leaning into the hit
that he's getting. Yeah, which I like a lot, but.
That only goes so far, I feel. Definitely.
And then you're just fucking burnt out.
Yeah, maybe you're gay years ago.
Oh, just he like he was really weird, but he LinkedIn, just he
wasn't weird. Fucking leaned into.
It or oh, I did lean into it already, but the court case
never proved anything. Dangling the baby over the
balcony. That's right, you didn't hear
that He's supposed to be still alive.
No, he built that wall in Marsh. He could be one of them,
moonwalking behind the men in black and your boy Elvis
supposed to say. He's men in black and NH.
Oh, come on. I'll cut that out.
That's the end of it now, Bruce. That's.
What he said. The Empire's done.
But yeah, people say he's still alive, Tupac.
Still alive, Elvis. That'll be a hell of a concert.
Am I supposed to be a preacher in the South?
In America. That might get you back the
oxygen those. Those 3 Velvets came back, Yeah.
Did you watch the fellow? Yes, it was great.
Wasn't a fun day. I know I don't like it either.
Umm I I liked it. I got I watched it on a flight.
You know, I don't like it was ground fellow, but I hate the
cutting of times where it starts where he was young and then old
and then middle and then back. What about you're watching a
series, 10 episodes. The ninth episode you go.
We're starting to get their head here.
It's the flashback episode Back in Time back.
Exactly way I didn't like the end of What do you call the
Better Call Saul? I'm only I'm going to start that
soon. Fantastic series.
And then the last couple is like a flashbacky thing.
Yep. And I was like, oh boys, come on
here. Yep.
And I had a kind of, you know, stage it out like I was like, I
was stuck with us here and it was great, but I was.
Like I just watched department Q on Netflix.
Started last night. You didn't.
I did I It's excellent. Funny, I was kind of wee bit of
the start. No, it's good.
Do you? Did you ever see the offer about
the making of The Godfather? Started it, never finished it.
May I just tell her yes, Yeah. The guy from Department Q is in
the offer. Which one?
He's the English movie boss who sort of speaks to the main.
Yeah. The main actor.
Not Miles Taylor, the other. You know the guy.
The main guy in Department Q. Yes.
Aye. He's in the offer.
Aye, that's what actors usually do.
But. You didn't know that.
I probably haven't got that length.
I only go actually like one or two episodes.
He's in one. He's in the first episode of
both those. Almost understood.
But but he's totally different than both.
I know that's what actors kind of do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You could say that about Mel
Gibson and Braveheart and Mom Max.
What about your acting career? The fuck are you my brain?
What about it? What about it?
I'm trying are. You are you trying but you are a
legit good like character. Actor Mark, thank you.
I would like to act more. I do not have the opportunities.
I've not done well on auditions. I would love to act more.
People ask me, but you, I'm just like, he's the Daniel daily.
Any time I meet him, he's doing a monologue.
Let me guess what you're going to say now.
I'm. I'm more like Daniel Gay Lewis.
OK, Mark. No, no, no, no, no.
I wouldn't go that far with that.
You know if you said. So sorry you think I'm a good
character. I will sure your character.
I always forget his name. What your character used to do.
The The Porsche game Mike McGoldrick Mike McGoldrick, Yes.
About a name, sorry that like I was a great character like and
you've done it very well. Thank you.
Have you any more? Yeah, I've got Daniel.
Daniel. Daniel who?
What's? I'll just go to the studio.
I am. I would love to do more of it.
I would love to act. Would you like to do a stage or
or a series? Not stage stuff.
I would love to. I'd love to just be in stuff.
I'd love to just act in comedy type things.
See, if I go to an if somebody offered me an acting thing and
it was comedy, I could say no, but it was a dead serious.
Thing do the dramas. I think I'd say I.
I think you would be great in, like a horror drama,
psychological kind of thing. And I mean, yeah.
And I would hit home harder because he used to me being a
bollocks. And they're like, oh, it's scary
when he's. Yes.
Not talking about as well and stuff.
Yes. Wouldn't be great.
The doll, The dolphin hunter. Serial killer.
Yes, but dolphins? Strictly dolphins.
Yeah, we, me and Dave are doing. But is that something actually
you would like to do? You would like to do an
afternoon. I mean, it'll never happen like,
but if somebody did offer you like, I think I would go maybe
something different. What about a movie where you're
like the last guy in Ferman? I always wanted to do you know
this is an idea. This is my idea pitch for an
A-24 movie, right? Say 24.
It's like a movie studio that does like we niche movies, but
they're quite popular. As an actor you should know
that, but. I was playing a character, you
know, I'm such a good character, this character I'd never heard
of so. This was always, no, I think I
spoke about this with Patty McDonald.
One thing there was always a kind of a legend that years ago
there was a gay born at a wedlock and there's back years
ago when that was shunned upon. And so the mother and father
just brought him and put him in the hen house and he was raised
with chickens to the point where he thought he was a chicken.
Now, I thought that happened down near us.
But Paddy McDonald said there's a bit five people are in Belfast
that that happened. So I think it's just, I think
it's just an urban legend. Yeah.
There's one way to control. I think that's a brilliant idea
for a film. Because the only lines you would
have is clock clock. Well I just think more of like a
bubble boy situation where the 48.
Gyllenhaal one, yes, that's incredible.
That movie. What boy in the bubble?
Yeah, movie. That's that's an old one.
There, yeah, but it's great. I haven't seen it in ages, but I
remember thinking like that was like, he's a stingy boy and then
he gets out into the world and he has to kind of make his way.
So we're saying Mark McCartney, chicken boy.
How's the chicken boy? Chicken Boy is a great title for
a movie. Chicken Boy and you could do
comedy with it. Or horror.
Both. You do both.
That would actually be unreal. Give me the money to make it
now. Well, A.
And I'll get it sorted. I'll have Willy we down here
with a second give me. All 1,000,000 of your 3 million.
Umm, I would actually be unreal. Have you ever tried to write a
film? Yeah, have.
You. Yeah, I've written a couple of
TV shows. The last one got really close to
like, yeah, that got close. But that was I have.
I literally started writing a thing this week for the first
time since that. Series.
Yeah, because that put me off last time.
The spent stand up is so instant.
Obviously we, you can have an idea for a bit right now.
You could do it tonight. One night is a Tuesday.
You go to your gig somewhere, Empire, try that material, shape
it the way you want. It's instant.
But then an idea for a series has to pass through such a long
writing process. And then all these people and
their particular tastes and then nothing might happen with it.
I was working on that thing for like 2 years and it was a good
experience to show me what it's like and how that process works,
but it just feels like wasted time.
You do the Larry David method. Just read bullet points.
Yeah, no, I'd love to and. Just shoot it yourself.
But then he's he made Seinfeld, so it's probably easier to get.
Well, that's true. Mammy Goldrick.
You made make a gold lol. Which was false advertising.
What more credit do you want? Chicken boy, be good.
I've never done any TV stuff. I was actually in terms of like
I was, I was asked to do the stand up show on BBC.
I was like, no, yeah, so I'd be wasting your time, boys.
The live some floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I understand stuff like that because you're at the mercy of
an editor. I.
Who can change your stand up to be whatever you want to their
tastes or. Well, I knew they could use none
of mine, right? None of mine is watershed luck.
Yes. And then you're, I've had that
before where you change a bit for TV and then it's not.
It's not you. The bet or they use the first
70% of it and there's no, not the punchline at the end or that
sort of thing, but you've kind of always just done your own
thing, which is always. The best way I wasn't asked to
do and then now my goal is to as least the amount of people sees
it as possible. Anything I make, if it goes over
5000 views I'm like delete that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to the top please. I think I think you should make
that movie genuinely, I. Think I have the first scene and
everything planted in the head. OK, give me.
You've been doing a long haul. Yes, you can hear a woman
screaming. No, no, no, he's not checking
away yet, right? This is Origin, right?
And she's given birth, obviously.
And there's land. There's a wee bedroom and then
and it opens and as the mall they're going into the room with
a, you know, they get what they're in the tile and stuff.
Those pregnant, you see, And then, you know, just a Dolly
zoom down the hallway. Yeah.
And then the child comes out and then just fuck her down into the
shed. Straight away.
So much straight away, right into it.
But I mean starting with a childbirth.
Yes. That'll be 3D who shooted 3-DA
Max. Oh, she was shooting this in 3D?
Placenta. Yes.
Flanity. Yes, James Cameron, my dog
coming up behind her throwing raw sausages of people.
Do you? Ever go to the Is it the 4D Max
and Odyssey? No raining.
On you. I don't like a lot.
I would love to do it but it would need to be as I don't even
the right. Fellowm I don't even go to watch
porn like it. See, I would.
I know you. If it was porn or wouldn't you
see it? But there's usually something
like, you know, fucking fast and furious or.
Something. Yes, yes.
Which was just car smoke pumped into your face.
Exhaust fumes straight into your mouth.
But if it was a good, I should have hadn't seen twisters.
I don't really want to go to yes, yes, Apart from that, no.
Yeah, your favourite game? Torsters.
I don't know. I do love Torster.
Yeah, I, I want the right stuff also to be in so that I can have
acting stuff that people can see, because I think that might
be my best way to do more acting is actually right the thing
itself as a way as a way in to do it.
But I think when you've been doing sound up for so long,
people think you only want to do stand up.
Do you know? Yeah, we have that thing like
you're talking about where people go, the audience will
just be expecting you to be doing comedy.
Although I think there's a weird where they like the thing
because you can do stand up means you can act, which isn't
the case. Yeah, yeah.
Although, yeah, there's definitely a thing of like, it's
not necessarily a transferable thing.
Yeah, all I can do is heighten culture.
Yeah, yeah. It's just me, but up. 7 foot 5.
Yeah, it's just up. Do you know who's an incredible
actor? And as a stand up Mickey
Bartlett. I've never seen Mickey act.
Mickey did a lot of chances with us and should be acting way
more. There's a lot of voices in
Mickey's head, you see. Yes.
And then mostly Chinese. But then you see I'm not getting
the chances like the first acting role I ever had.
You give it to me. Yeah.
In a Bank of Ireland ad or no? Ulster Bank.
Ulster Bank ads, Right. And I was common thinking,
where's my slides? Yes, yes, yes.
What lanes have I got? And you're just rural.
Heck yes. Was the notes you give me?
Yeah. And I was like, oh, just me.
Then you're like, yeah, I even tried to like, pronunciate.
He's like, don't do that. Yeah, just go on.
Cut that out. Yeah, maybe that's where the
Chequer boy thing came from. I was like, just clock, just log
around. Yeah, you should do a crowd.
You should do a crowdfunding for that movie.
I just you. Could do that.
You could do that with a 10 grand budget.
I'd borrow the money and do a. Credit union job like.
You literally could do a felony with five to 10 grand.
Absolutely. Don't bother.
Would you have other people in it?
Well, you need a mother, granddad, not what I.
Asked. And you need a love interest.
Have you seen the naughty professor?
No, there's a spending we need to talk about.
Maybe you could be the chicken boy and you do every.
Role. Yeah, no, I don't look like a
chicken boy. Oh, we'll get your feathers.
We'll do you up. So I will pay 10 grand just to
see you go. Yeah, it's you and Mark where
the cameras you're like, don't know about that boy.
Just close your eyes, I can do it for me.
I think that'd be. Great.
Yeah, I think it would. It's out there now.
It'll be stolen. I got, I met a three guys years
ago and they were a production company and they had an idea for
a movie and then I'm pretty sure they all fell out, went their
separate ways. I think about that movie idea
every day but I can't do anything with it because it's
there and they have gone their separate ways.
So the idea. So who owns the idea?
But it's something I can never make.
And I did speak to one of them, but at once where I was like,
could I buy this idea off you? And then but.
He was like, I don't know enough.
Well, he was like I, I tend to live with them.
I'll tell you about it after we've done this episode.
It would be so good. There was like, remember the
90s? There was some buying in
comedies, like even the early 2000s.
And a lot of them still hold up. Well, toss maybe I, but a lot of
people not. No, but I, I I think the more
recent ones don't hold up as much.
But they're not comedies. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They're dramas. Or sorry, they're comedies kind
of count labelled as dramas kind of thing.
Or drama with funny elements or. Cookie comedies.
It's all this like crazy facial expressions.
Dramaties. Dramaties, it's all.
You can't say that. No.
Great. This is a comedy.
Yes, which is fair I suppose. But does that take you back, the
naughty professor? Is that what you were saying?
Well, there was a drama. There's a bit of man common to
term for his own sexuality. Like when you really
psychoanalyse the naughty professor, he was mental.
Yeah, like you look at any of them.
Is it Farley Brother films? Yes.
There's a lot of heart in them. Yes.
You remember Stuck on Me. Yeah.
Matt Damon The same east winds. And this wasn't as me, me,
myself and Irene. Me, Myself and Irene was about
what a movie. Oh, it was phenomenal.
What a movie first. Class.
There's a scene in that where it's a 40 show on Rene
Zellweger, the love interest in it, a picture of him and his
three black sons, and they're all dressed up like.
What's that movie? I know what you're talking.
About the Tin Man and all that. What's that called?
Dark Wizard of Oz, yeah. And she goes, she looks at it
and she's like, no, she's like, were you guys doing a fancy
dress competition or something? And he just, it's not, this is
not an iconic movie moment. It just made me laugh.
And he goes, now we're just goofing around the house and
she's like, it's just like a sweet split second thing.
And I love that, Remember. He's going to work.
And he gave them We kiss on the cheek and 35 years of age.
Oh, it's a great, great show. Was he?
Before we do this, I think that's too easy.
But before we do this, you're on tour.
When's your tour start? August.
And goes on the way, eh? Mid-december.
Eh, leading. You're doing 22 Mandelas.
Yeah, both sold out. One sold out, the other I have
no idea. I think the other very nearly
sold out. How do you know when?
Somebody told me that. I've been asking for weeks.
I'll find out for you. Please take a shame because I'm
curious, but where am I on the 8th of August the.
Money will also be paid into my bank account for the shows and
then I'll give you some of them. Are all those tickets on your
website orisitshine.net? You can get them on my website
but it links to Shane. So we'll put whatever you think
the best link is. Markmccarry.com/tickets.
In the description. Thank you.
Right. So let's let's.
I've got. I've selected 3.
Now The thing is down, the name of the street is on the image.
It's only means the main. Street.
OK. I feel like this is a clutter.
That's correct. That's yeah, that.
I didn't even turn around. I mean that's just one view
doing the street to take on that's.
Yeah. They go on again, go again.
Is that no draw? A bit more of a view of this
one. I feel like a noble going ahead.
See the bump in there? Should be.
It could be influencing you a bit.
Oh God, there's checking checking boys in there.
Oh, that's. Heads away here.
Why am I blanking on? I know you're going to tell me.
Then we'll go yes. John No.
There's a better red, white and blue bump in there with that
influence, you're thinking. No, no, I just was that cross.
I recognise that cross. You're halfway there.
There's a shop right behind that lorry.
Should be if you. Want to go slightly down the
street? We can't because I think it
gives it away. I think there's a there's a same
post. Right.
It's in Throne 100%. You're halfway there with Cross.
I'm blanking here but I no one know what.
Take us down the street down and put him on his misery here.
Oh, you know him. The shop what I said in the
sailor shop behind. That you did.
I just couldn't think of the insects.
My cross is right. It is 10 out of 10 to go.
There's a shop behind that lorry on the race, look at what's that
fell by and they're done. He's getting a paper.
Stealing the cure? We we solve crimes through
Google Street Maps. OK one more to close this out.
Again, a bit of red, white and blue bunting up.
That's a very strangely angle, like can you go to the left wee
bit? I feel like I'm wrong here.
If he gets one for three, he's going to be mentally
embarrassed. You're straight a little.
Bit move up a wee bit. It's a strange we angle it up
there. Do we sell this show to Netflix?
McCartney on maps the meat joint Oh why you like a big meat joint
to you that's. Not care.
No, it's not cash. No, that's here.
We go. There we go, all the.
Time he wouldn't drive through it anymore.
Here we go. I know.
It's not. Bottler.
Not bad, boys. Not bad.
I wasn't blowing smoke. Imagine we do this live in front
of a crush. Oh, SSE there now.
Yes. We're on The Voice.
Mark, thank you very much. Good luck for the tour.
And how will we think about that idea that we might be the
aliens? I will.
I'll not sleep tonight. That's for other reasons.