I'm Michael. Che and I'm Colin Jose, and
we've got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big
secret. Well, now you got to give the
people something. I'm not saying a word.
Oh, then people will know to tune in.
Come on, tell them a little. Like how we're hosting of comedy
events streaming only on Peacock, exactly how it's called
New York After Dark and it's a comedy show that only features
drop in comic. Boom, you nail.
Into Michael Chase phone numbers.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey.
New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing,
and it's streaming now only on Peacock.
You love it. Zippers, welcome to the Tea with
me podcast with me, Shiny boy, QQ, the man himself, the mom
boy, the money toad, several the man with several names, she and
Todd. Guys, it's a good day today.
What we're going to do is we're going to drink tea, we're going
to really just kick back and have a little bit of a laugh.
I don't want any anyone to do anything that's too taxing.
You know, like I know some people like listen to this
podcast in the gym or when they're out for a run, But you
know, I'd, I'd tease more about relaxing.
So what I'd like you to do is if you're out for a run, just take
that piece down. You know, if you, if you're
trying to break a PB, don't worry about it, you'll get it
next time. Just just flow.
Just go with it. If you're in the gym and maybe
you're like, I'm going to do 20 reps of this.
Why not just put the weight way up and just do one massive Rep
and just do a massive grunt And at the end of it go, ah, fuck
yes, You know, I'd really like that.
Last time I was in the gym seven years ago, whenever we were
allowed to go in gyms, there was a couple working out in the gym
and they were trying to make as much noise as possible through
their grunting. And I looked at them like, is,
is that not really weird you guys are doing this?
Like with my face. I definitely said that.
And they look back to me like, is it weird?
You're not making that noise, you know, but that's just why
gems are listen, I started fast because I'm I'm going to do
something right here live on the podcast.
That is the sort of content that people want from the Tea with Me
podcast. We're going to do listeners
questions. We're going to do TripAdvisor.
I want to look at a video as well.
This first time I'm going to try and do this.
Technically, it might not work out, but we talked on this
podcast about different types of tea and Barry's tea gets
mentioned a lot. People talk about Barry because
obviously there's Barry and there's Nam Barry, you know,
which is which is the Vietnamese Barry.
That's such lockdown bounder, isn't it?
You know, but you've got, you've got Barry and, and, and now I'm
Barry, who are, you know, big rivals, two guys of different
nationalities. But people always tell me about
Barry's and they go. It is the best.
I think I've had it before, but I don't remember.
So I bought some whenever I did the big shop this morning also
best one of the lockdown this morning.
I go to Asda. It opens at 7:00.
I go, I'm just going to go early because I have a lot to do today
and they'll probably be a big queue.
I'd say guys, there wasn't a centre around.
It was just me and then later on a guy and it was great.
That's where I mean, that's the way I want to shop, you know,
because normally I like to, you know, I like to be a cute boy.
I like to sort of go about shopping in normal times and say
hello to people and look in other people's baskets and go.
Are you sure, Sharon? You know, whenever you see like
loads of cocktail sausages or whatever, but but now you're in
lockdown, I just get the headphones and I listen to a
podcast and I just get up and down those aisles like like more
Farah. But I saw some Barry's tea today
and I bought it. Here we go live on the TV
podcast. It's a live TS test.
It's the live sip. It's the exclusive sip of
Barry's tea. By the way, this isn't sponsored
by Barry's. So I'm going to give a real
opinion here because if they sponsor me, then I would have to
go. That's delicious.
But there is the threat here that I might take a sip of this
and go, that is fucking vile. So here we go.
No, what I'm going to, by the way, I should point out before
it give him a reaction here, if you're new to the podcast, it is
called Tea with Me. We are a tea nation of people.
But the whole podcast isn't about tea.
But what I will say about that is because there will be some
people listener watching for the first time going, does he just
talk about is it just a man tasting tea?
And there is a market for that, But that's not what we're about.
I will say Barry's tea, smooth, strong, you know, and Barry
seems like a guy who you know, because you've got like Tetley,
you've got Panjana, you've got PG tips, you know, that little
monkey pervert guy. And I don't know why.
I think that's just he has very long arms and he wears AT shirt
but no bottoms, you know, which is very like old school dad
pervert. And you know, because especially
my dad, like if we went away on holiday back in the day, I've
talked about distance, stand up. My dad used to wear speed still
dolls, wear speedos even in winter to to just go, you know,
to just go out. But he used to on holiday, he'd
wear speedos, but then he wore AT shirt down to the beach, but
he didn't put shorts on. So a lot of time it looked like
I had an elderly man with me who was wearing AT shirt and then
just no, no pants. But he did have speedos on.
That's irrelevant. What's relevant is Barry's tea.
I enjoyed it, but I think I took the sip a little bit fast and
we've all done that before. It was just a bit too hot.
And I should have said some of the time, but I was trying to
act hard in front of you. So we'll just talk about that as
we go home. But I was going to say what's
been happening this week? But we know on lockdown that
not, not really much, not really much goes on.
The ray of lockdown is back this Friday night.
It's going to come out as a BBC Songs download.
This was the radio show that me and Dave Elliott did that Let me
just put this on aeroplane mode. That was the radio show me and
Dave did. And we were on Radio Ulster for
a 10 week run. And this is like our fourth
series. But this is the time where
because we just started playing like dance music and doing like
old school shout outs that like used to happen back in the day
and radio where it's like, you know, shouted to this person
doing that. And then they became all these
characters that became part of the show.
I mean all the shout outs were real, but you know, there was
character like Marpin and Blobby, if you listen kept
coming in every week and it just it just really took off and it
was we were like totally amazed by it.
But then our run ended and another show was scheduled to go
into the slot. Like that's that's how it works.
You know, you have you get given your time, your contract and
then something else is because they got a schedule like really
far in advance. So we can, I kinda pushed to to
get the show to come back in some way as I give us any slot,
just let us keep it because it really did become like a thing
in people's weekends, including mine and Dave's.
You know, it was like, it was just it was your Friday night
because there is no Friday night.
So for anyone who listen, and by the way, I'm not saying this was
like the biggest thing since sliced bread, but I just mean
for some people it actually felt important in a way, even though
it was 2 deck heads playing Wakefield salad.
I'm talking about this like it's Michelangelo's David, you know,
talking about this like it's some sort of really important
poetry when it was actually 2 fellas being like, ah, shout out
the Backlund skin. And Jesus Christ, I was about to
say skin ferrets. Nobody ever called in with that.
But you know, it'd be like, shout out the fucking Mr
Begglesworth up in Kirkstown, just just enjoying some ham with
his shoes off. This is Corona rhythm of the
night. You know, it was that kind of
thing. And I think it was silly.
I think people enjoyed it. We certainly did and and I was
very like persistent in trying to get the show back in some
way. So they said look, we can do a
BBC sign show. Would you be interested or not?
We said you had us at the first thing you said.
So that's coming back. We're recording that tonight and
I'm buzzing. Really, really excited for that.
We've got them the TV show previously for BBC.
We've got a three-part series that mentioned a couple of weeks
ago. So we're sort of working out how
we fell on that in lockdown, which is going to be different,
you know, because there was an audience for the last one,
there'll be no audience this time.
So, so we've got to figure figure that out.
And then it's just seeing like what the crack is with stand up,
what the crack is with gigs. I don't know, you know, we're
having a baby. I don't know what what's going
to happen with like the getting back in the stand up.
So I think something is going to happen like drive in cinema type
thing, reduce capacity gigs, I don't know.
But I just I just need to, I need to get back into it.
But the podcasts have been great fun.
The podcasts have been great fun.
I've done a couple other people's podcast this week as
well. And it just it feels like in a
way, it's a keeping me sharp a bit just because you're having
to try and like in a way be funny.
And obviously we're talking about a nonsense on here, but
like kind of in a way, it feels like stand up, you know, just
just like a little bit. But but yeah, I'm buzzing.
The I'm buzzing to get to get back into, into stand up.
I did a run this morning and I just sat for an hour after in my
kitchen and just just sort of felt, you know what I mean?
I just, I just was in my feelings and I say in my
feelings, I was just bright red for about an hour.
And, and I think that that tells me that I need to like, yeah,
that Barry's is definitely good. Yeah.
I, I don't know. I think maybe like, don't run in
the heat, you know, because I run in the heat.
And then I come back and for an R, maybe it's just because I'm
not, I'm not as fit as it should be.
But whenever I come back, I really have a Robert De Niro
face and I breathe like Tony Soprano.
Whenever I finish a run, I look like a mafia boss who's weighing
up a really important like job where they got to shoot someone,
but he's not sure if he wants to do it because the guy used to be
his mate and we're going to bust, we're going to whack this
guy. You know that That's the way it
is. But I'm getting new running
shoes, so that should make me run a lot faster because that's
what it is. That's what it is.
I just need new shoes. They've got a wee air bubble in
them, so I should shave about 20 minutes off my time, I would
say. So I said I was going to do like
a breakdown of a video. I haven't done this on the
podcast before, but this just needs to get out there to the
masses. This video was viral way before
things were viral, you know what I mean?
Like it was this and syphilis back in the day.
Everybody had this on their phones.
People sent that around. And I got reminded of this very
recently. So we're going to like, play it
as we go. But if you haven't seen this,
it's basically a rap battle between two guys.
It's called the Belfast Rap Battle and I feel like everybody
my age has seen this, but it's my hope that some people haven't
and they get to welcome this into their lives.
It's two fellas going head to Go for it.
Yo, my name is Prendi Monrat Dan Swift on B.
I mean, I mean, one thing that's great about it is, right, none
of it rhymes, right? Which is fine because OK, I do
like the MCPS or thing where I'm like Belfast rapper.
If I was put in the spot, I couldn't freestyle rap, right?
So it's difficult because this guy's under like loads of
pressure, but it's the fact. It's the fact that.
OK, You know, he's like, he's like getting feeling his way
into it. But the last line, all drink up,
all drink up, you know, which is like, which is great.
Like it's like, I love this video because it's so positive.
Everybody is having a great time.
These guys are going head to head rap.
I like what this guy's wearing. I think he's got like a wolf on
his long sleeve T-shirt. It's brilliant.
All drink up, all drink up. I mean, that's what you want to
do when you're when you're having fun.
You know, somebody is going to deliver straight heat whenever
they have to get up from the from the top bunk.
Like I think Eminem permanently just sits on the top bunk of a
bed and waits until like Doctor Dre is ready to go into the
studio. And then he's like, Yep, I'm up.
Like this guy has been chilling on the top bunk and he's about
to just bring serious heat to the party.
You can't see me. You ain't no fucking John Cena,
bitch. I'll tell you what.
Want to know something? Definitely scrambling.
With in the middle of a freestyle rap, you go, do you
know what do you want to know? Something it's such a delay for
time. Here, 2 seconds.
Here. I'm about to tell you something,
right? But I'm going to tell you in a
second. I'm not going to tell you right
now, but we're for it, because here it is.
On the top bunk. Fucking kick your ass any day.
That's why you infect the boots the asses.
See, as far as I'm concerned, I was fucking Irish as they come.
I'm fucking a lucky bastard. The Ego Eagles from the Rock,
He's like, am I lucky? But I mean, also the way he
delivers. Lucky bastard.
You would never hear that in a rap battle in like New York or
LA or anywhere in America. You wouldn't hear it said like a
lucky bastard. I'm a lucky bastard.
Unbelievable. OK, let's see where he's going
to go from here because by the way, these guys go head to head
for a while and it only gets better.
Pride. Loving it.
I know what's got better luck than you, fucker.
Mr Crocker says he can catch the fucking Friday all parts as much
seek can. I don't know what that means,
but under after every sentence he keeps saying under his
breath. So it is and that's enjoyable as
well, because that's also like not rap at all to say so it is
so it is doesn't make sense. You know, it's not something
that like, you know, you hear like Migos, you know, I think
it's offset from Migos goes in the middle of his raps.
Drake is a big fan of a Yeah, you know, he loves that.
Like some people have like a little thing they do.
No rap. I mean, this guy is the original
because no rapper had already claimed that beforehand.
So it is, you know, you're not going to hear at the start of at
the start of Kendrick Lamar, you know, bringing in a new track.
You're not you're not going to hear Kendrick Lamar starting off
a freestyle. So it is.
So what? What is it?
Yeah, but what is it? It is it So it is.
Also, he's wearing chinos. Phenomenal.
Absolutely phenomenal from this guy.
Also, how short are those bunk beds?
Because I don't know if that ladder needs to be there, but
that's irrelevant. All we know is the crowd are
getting well into it at this point.
You can't even catch a fucking footlocker.
Sometimes in rap, I guess you get just carried away and you
just say something that sounds good in your head at the time.
But I don't know where he's going with this.
You couldn't catch a footlocker. I don't know what that means.
I don't know what it means. I mean, does he mean the shop or
a footlocker in jet? I mean, a footlocker sounds big
and bulky. I don't know if anyone could
catch it. Bottle of butt in hand, by the
way. I mean, this is so swagged out.
This is so enjoyable. The drinks are flowing, the boys
are just going head to head and he's got a butt in hand.
If I'm in the club bottle full of butt, it's time for the head
back. I may not be able to catch a
foot now, but you can't catch a fucking cold.
Oh no, he didn't. Oh no, he didn't.
He also doesn't address the fact that no one knows what it means.
You couldn't catch a Foot Locker and he's straight in with you.
Couldn't catch a cold. No shit is going down and things
are heating up. Tommy, at least I'm healthy as
fuck, bitch, because I want to know what that means.
I can fucking get it on all night long with any bitching
your girl. He's talking.
About a period of so much time. I get on with any bitch all day
and night and afternoon and evening.
He does like. As well as that he does look
like someone who would have stamina.
Like he looks like a long distance runner.
So part of me doesn't like that and also I don't like that he
like there's no need for that. Like he this guy is busy taking
it like down level in terms of what they're talking about, you
know, I mean, like he's getting a little bit disrespectful.
He's obviously hit with the ladies and he's getting well
into that. It is going down.
The crowd are starting to get really, really into this.
You couldn't get it off with a fucking grandma bitch.
Johnny, Johnny, Well played Sir, well played indeed.
Never never made my fucking girl.
You're a ginger ass fuck like. They're having fun up to this
point. You're a ginger as fuck.
I mean that that that is virgin and sly.
And nothing is rhyming here. Nothing is rhyming here.
And again, like like Ed Sheeran, like does a little bit of rap in
his music. I don't know if ginger guys
should rap. You know that has never again.
It's never. But this is an exclusive.
No one in a rap battle has been called the ginger ass fuck.
Need to in the world. My fucking grandma or your
grandma? Either way, fucking grandmas
have more experience than you. Says you've got a fucking kink,
but that's fucking, says. I think by the way, this, this
has turned into like he's giving him advice, you know what I
mean? Because he's crouched forward
now in the bunk beds and he's just having a real heart to
heart. Either way, fucking grandmas
have more experience than you. Says you've got a fucking.
Chicken. Oh how quick did he do so?
What is there? Grandmas have more experience in
uses? Unbelievable.
Oh shit, he's getting well into this.
I'll tell you what, the fucking Chinese are born.
Is that fucking it? I get.
It is in his head. Right, I get what he means
because it's an old outdated stereotypes.
The Chinese guys have small Dicks.
I get what I get in his head, the place where he's bringing it
from, but he's undermining his point because he's making Johnny
seem from that actor like he has a massive Dick because he goes
the Chinese are going to don't know where it is.
But then he's awesome. He's also like an off a massive
Dick. It's not gangster.
It's not gangster that way through a rap battle.
They're like, OK, maybe you would make some reference about
jacking your own and maybe you'd do that.
But you shouldn't be in a rap battle.
I don't think like wanking off other guys even with your
imagination. Is that?
It's also he just keeps sitting back in the bunk bed after every
line like oh shit let me just get a rest here.
I can barely get make myself a fucking milkshake out of it so
the boys can't even fucking come to my door to see it.
Like he doesn't understand measurements and he doesn't
understand like what's a lot like, I think what he's.
I think. I think.
What he's saying here is he's wanking us, me off and he's
like, there's not enough, there's not enough sperm here.
There's only enough sperm here to barely like, fill up a
milkshake, and milkshake is a lot of volume.
I don't know how much he's producing, but he's not
impressed that his mate Johnny IS is going to basically turn
into a full Yazoo. So the boys can't even fucking
come to my door to see it. He's been doing that for too
lately. That for too long 40 seconds.
That's not interrupt like in a rap battle, like just certain
ham movements you got to do, you know what I mean?
But I mean, maybe you do it quick, but for like 45 seconds
you can't just be in the pool. It's massive Dick.
So the boys can't even fucking come to my door to see it.
Size don't matter if it's how they're fucking you, you know
about that because you can't even do it.
You also shouldn't be saying that you're the rap father if
you're trying to be gangster. No set, no mid thing is, size
doesn't matter, so you use it. That's PC like he's just he's
saying like in rap I've got a small Dick.
No mate, it's an altered event. No, it's actually how you use
it. Midnight a big balls like so.
You know about that because you can't even do it.
Oh shit, one more time, obviously.
A black person's got more. As far as I'm concerned, they're
the luckiest bastards. Around.
They can rap, they can fuck their big Dicks.
He's not rapping anymore. He's not.
He's got so in the decks like and talk about Dicks that he's
just made like a social commentary point there where
he's like, first of all, he's obsessed with like stereotypes
about Dicks because he's talked about Chinese.
And listen to this. I mean, this is a rap battle.
Obviously a black person's got more bumpy today.
It's the look to the camera. Obviously no, but black wooden
black guys have more of an advantage and then just the set
back. Jesus Christ, this is a rap
battle. They're the luckiest bastards.
Around. They can rap, they can fuck,
they have big Dicks. They're fucking looking for a
second. Sir, there's one animal that can
fuck batter than you, and that's a fucking cow. 4 decks, four
birds. Easy enough.
No one say you have 4 decks. I don't remember this one the
first time that I saw this, but where did that come from?
I thought he was gonna say a lion.
There's one animal, the fox, better than all the rest.
I like car. What's a nine?
He says after it. What's a nine?
He says after it. 4 decks, four birds.
Easy enough. None say.
It. 4 decks, 4 decks, four birds.
Easy enough? I don't know.
This guy, this guy got off their farm.
Oh, you lucky bastard. This means that he thinks to get
milk. Farmers wank off.
He's so upset with people being wanked up.
We have that one more time. 4 decks, four birds, no problem. 4
decks, four birds, easy. Enough 4.
Decks. 4 decks, four birds, no problem.
Easy enough. Like that's all that needed to
be said. I want what I what I really want
more than anything is Attenborough in the next series
of Planet Earth. Like is I want Attenborough's
last sign offline to just show a cow in the wild and I want David
Attenborough to say the animal that has sex most in the animal
Kingdom is the cow. 4 Dicks, four birds, no problem and just
retire. There's one animal that can fuck
better than you, and that's a fucking cow. 4 decks, four
birds. Easy enough.
Don't say it. You have 4 Dicks.
College 4 decks. Guys, welcome to your first year
university. You're studying agriculture.
We're going to be learning a lot about farm machinery, about some
some of the animals you would find in a farm.
Like, can anyone tell me an animal you might find on a farm?
Yeah. Kai Kai.
Absolutely correct. Oh, we've got another hand up
there. Have you got another animal
you'd like The you'd like that into this?
No, it's just it's just a fact about cars.
Oh, right. OK.
Well, yes, feel free to give it to the class. 4 decks, four
birds. No problem.
Give me a distinction. It's a it's a first day. 4 decks
4. Yes, sorry.
Go ahead. Cars have 4 decks.
Four birds. No problem.
Give me that 22. Jesus Christ, Honestly, like I
remember seeing that at the time and enjoying that, but I, I, I
don't think I've enjoyed anything more that has, I feel
like if we all see this in lockdown, I'm like, you know
what, fair fox to those fellas, fair fox to those guys, because
you can tell the fellas behind the camera, like I go ahead, do
it here and we'll film it. But they're both just absolutely
go for it. And that's that's the funniest
part of it to me. Like at no point to these two
fellas get embarrassed at No2. At no point, they're just like,
fuck it, We're wordsmiths. We're obviously like in the
wrap. We've got the rhymes.
I mean, No2 words ever rhyme in it at any point.
But like, but that's eight mile, you know, I mean, like that's
the real eight mile. It's not eight mile, probably
not as much as eight mile. It's five mile.
It's it's five mile time. You know, that's kind of what it
is. But that is just there's
something so beautiful about it. You've got these two defined
characters. Johnny sitting standing there,
bottle of Bud. He's all action.
He likes to be on his feet for it.
Also full player because the glasses he's got Nike night
glasses, right? Ball or move.
You've got, I think it's Johnny or no, the other guy is on the
top bunk of the bed. He likes to recline.
Also. We had two pillows behind him
the whole time, which again is not wrap at all.
Like, at no point straight out of Compton does Doctor Dre be
like, my posture is just not right here.
Can the passes that we cushion? Oh, I'd sit there.
Really, really, really, really enjoy that.
I really enjoy that. That's giving me such a laugh.
Oh my God. I mean, I wonder could we get
those two fellas on the podcast next week?
If I'm being serious, if anybody knows those two guys that took
part in that rap, I think they're absolute legends and I
would love to just have them even for a very quick chat over
Zoom or on the phone on the podcast, because people would
love to hear from them, I'm sure.
But there you have fair Firefox to you guys that that is really,
really enjoyable Zippers. Let me really quickly plug the
Patreon for the Tea with Me podcast.
There's basically a way where you sign up for a small fee, you
get the bonus podcast on a Monday and load other cool
stuff. We've got stickers.
We've got stickers we've been emailing about those Armando
Roscoe material goods and we hope to have those really soon
for all the Patreons. He'll be sent them out free.
If you're a member of a certain tier of Patreon, you get a
ticket for the first live podcast whenever we're all like
outside again and going to gigs and all that kind of thing.
And yeah, but we do a bonus podcast, me and producer Dan,
every Monday, which is like the same length as one of these.
And it's all good fun to shout out all the sippers that that
help us out over in the Patreon. If you're in a position to do
that, that'd be class. If not, totally understand.
You'll still get the Wednesday and Friday episodes of the TV
with Me podcast. Also, we got to plug the Rave
Lockdown, which is on BBC Signs this Friday.
You can listen to it at any point during the week and it's
me and the big gap tooth gap toothed stone head among myself
because I didn't pronounce it right.
Dave Elliott. So do check that out.
Back to the pod zippers. We're back.
We're going to do listeners questions.
I haven't done TripAdvisor on this episode and I'm going to be
honest about it because it honestly is the best policy.
We're not doing it this week. We're not going to do it.
What happened is because I don't really plan it beforehand and
went on the TripAdvisor website, typed in a couple of places,
tried to do it, but the reviews just weren't juicy enough and it
was just wasting everybody's time.
So next week, or maybe ask listeners if they know places
with good TripAdvisor reviews and we can do them, then we'll
do that. But we've got listeners
questions. Stuart Clement says James Bond,
who did it better. I'm not really a Bond guy.
I don't know. It didn't like Bond's attitude,
like shaken, not stirred. You know, you're like nobody
asked you, you know, just what do you want to drink?
Martini shaken, not stirred, you know, wait, you know, that is
just kind of like, I don't know, I think it's a little bit sly
from them and like, obviously I wouldn't be a good born because
I only really drink cider and you know, you can't really add
anything to that after you say it, you know, yes, what would
you like to drink? Could have a the cider.
Yeah. No, no Bond has ever had a pint
of Magners before. No Bond is ever walking about
with a bottle that's a wee bit too big, even though he's, he's
already poured the drink, but he still has like a good bit left
like Bond is. Bond is walking about with like
too many things in his hands and a packet of crisps in between,
you know, So I don't think I'd be a good Bond.
I don't know. Some of the new ones have been
pretty good. But people are weird for Bond,
like guys like in particular, like guys who like, you know,
claim to be straight or like a little bit.
Let me just say, let's just say a little bit gay for Bond.
If you sort of catch them and drift there.
So no, I I don't know the best Bond.
People always talk about Sean Connery as being the best Bond.
Pierce Brosnan was definitely like a little bit Wick.
I think. I think we can all appreciate
that. Good actor, but not a Bond And
Daniel Craig is is is good as as Bond, I think, but but I don't
know. I think they should get a wild
card in there. You know, like let's have
someone who hasn't been talked about as maybe going to be in
the next Bond. Let's just throw them into it.
Like what about Kirk from Coronation Street?
You know, I would definitely enjoy that.
You know, if Bond was ordering better, you know, a pint of
better and a hot pot, I would I would enjoy it And he'd have to
get like Chesney would be Chesney would be Bonds like me
and my and Kirk wouldn't get it right.
You know, Kirk's a little bit ditzy.
So they'd be like, what's your name?
Like instead of saying double O 7, they'd be like, you know, I'd
be honest, I've never heard Kirk talk before boys, He like a bit
like that. I don't know.
I like I just like the idea of like a more Yorkshire Bond.
I would definitely enjoy that. But I don't know who did it
better because I haven't seen that many of them.
Roger Moore. Dave likes Roger Moore, so maybe
he was pretty good too. Noah Ballard says American here.
That's what day. Hey, we're all united by tea.
We're all brought together. OK.
So it doesn't matter where you're from, the Democratic
Republic of Congo, macro fell America, you're very welcome
here. I like the way of American
listeners, Noah. So thanks.
Thanks for being on board. Noah says I only recently got in
the classic hot tea, mostly because of your podcast.
Yes, If I can leave any legacy in the world, this is what it
is. People are just getting in the
tea. I want people to be like that
fella was like calling me Shane, like that's another thing.
Some of the betrayal and something calling me shiny
Kukud, shiny boy kukud, which I I don't want.
I just, you know, stick with like the money told or the man
boy cheeky or whatever, but stop.
I'm basically using this platform as an appeal to say
stop calling me shiny boy QQ. Even though my hair is like the
Caprio Titanic and I'm looking like young and tan.
I want people to stop. Whatever you do, stop saying
shiny boy QQ because I hate it. So it's embarrassing.
If you keep calling me, keep calling me.
Noah says where I'm from, sweet iced tea rules all.
What's the official tea with me opinion on the syrupy goodness
that is sweet iced tea an ingenious innovation or an
abomination? That could definitely be a
feature. Noah just every week with
different topics and ingenious innovation or an abomination.
I can't judge because I've never had it and we don't do that
here. We're a tolerant people.
The team with me society like we're nice people.
Tea drinkers are calm, nice people.
So I would say I think I might enjoy I stay.
I've never had it. I don't know.
And I was going to say like depending on what part of
America you're from, if I'm in that part of America for a gig
next year, you know, we could definitely meet up and we could
have an iced tea. Now I'm aware that that
somewhere in the world will be like homosexual slang, like
that's definitely gay slang for something like, I don't know, an
iced tea. Touch your let me touch your
pee. I'm not sure what it would be,
but but if it if it's just an iced tea, I think I would like
that and I could give you my opinion, but I don't know, like
I've never. I think when you grew up in
Northern Ireland, definitely an iced tea is something that
you're told is bad. You know, you're told like God,
don't be going over drinking any iced tea like devil worshippers
do that. But I think I would probably be
willing to give it a chance. I think I would give it a
chance. Also, what's sweet is that we
weren't recording the audio there from the laptop, which is
class. But I'm doing it now so we'll
have to. The sound will be better now and
not sweet. Ultimately it's a lovely day
outside and I'm making loads of mistakes and I'm not getting out
of the nice weather, but it's fine.
And I'm having Turkey sausages for lunch so it's going to be
sweet. But Noah, I can't comment yet,
but great to have you on board and all the international
sippers. I just want to say keep sipping.
Nick Boyd says when lockdown ends, what will you miss the
most? I think it will be probably in a
way weird to go back. I mean, that's not a big
stretch. I mean, it definitely is because
this has become the new normal. What will I miss the most?
I think having more time to do the things that I need to get
done, if that makes sense. Like not driving the places I
like driving the sticker podcast on or stick music on Cheney Boy
QQ cruising in his black car. But but then I think I'll just
miss being at home so much. I'm also not away like a lot
like every day I am going somewhere to do something, which
is very vague of me to say, but you know, it's a gig or a
meeting or a podcast or going to play football.
It is nice spending a lot of time at home.
I've never done this as much and I am enjoying it.
So I think that'll be kind of weird.
All my apples. Tommy gets in touch.
That's for that's a little Patreon kind of in joke.
That's why you need to join the patreonpatreon.com/team podcast
and then you'll know about Tommy boy apples.
But he says sheeny boy. QQ, stop it.
Can we discuss how the chairman, man of the Belfast African
clothing company BACC, Aaron Butler, says the word no Cheers.
First of all, yes, Aaron Butler is definitely like a guy from
West Belfast who dresses in a lot of traditional African gear.
And I don't know whether that's disrespectful or great, but
let's give him a call. I've never noticed the way he
says the word Nye, but hopefully we can shed some light on it.
Hopefully answers. How does he say Nye?
Nye. I don't know, Batman.
You're live on tea with me right now.
I need to. I've had a question.
Yeah, I know, I know. Yeah.
I've got a I've got a question
that's about you, and I need to get your take on it.
So 3 inches. OK.
No. And also, it's not the lion's
like a ship, but it's four. Yeah, but somebody has asked,
somebody's asked me to talk about the way you say the word.
No, now, I've never noticed you send that.
In a weird way I have noticed before, like you don't do it as
much now, but like the letter, the number that comes after 2,
you would always have said free, but you're now sort of, you're
now like a three guy. Like I don't know if you've been
to that King's Speech fella or what, but how do you say now?
Can you say it? No.
No, no, that's not the way you said.
See. Now see.
Yeah, See. No, no.
See, now that you've said it, See, now that you've said it, I
know that that's not the way you say it.
Just what? What?
What way do people stay? I say it.
I think they think you maybe said nai, nai, nai.
Yeah, no. No, I'll tell you why I
actually. Purposely know this for a fact,
I might say it in like a comedy way like if I'm like emphasising
a joke or something that might do it.
But I purposely have always said nai because I know the majority
of people from West Belfast. No harm to them W Belfast will
say Nai right, very, very defensive.
OK, man, thanks for thanks for clearing that up.
Got to go, man. Doing my podcast now.
All right, yeah, he definitely says Nah and it's definitely
weird and he's definitely like always weirded to be called out
on that and and we rumble them. That's what we're doing on the
pod. OK, got questions on Instagram
from first of all, Trey Reynolds, who says no question.
Just want to say thanks for bringing some laughter to lock
to lock down your fab. Well, first of all, try thanks.
And I love being called fab because that makes me feel fab.
I'm being like locked down. I'm wearing like loads of sports
clothes all the time and I'm not really dressing up like a really
like real shiny boy. Cute, cute.
Like at the minute I'm shiny boy sports clothes cute, cute, but I
want to be shiny boy like smart clothes kind of cute cute even
though I just wear like jeans and AT shirt, But like that's
still me at my cutest. I would say.
I know you didn't ask any that, but but thanks.
Belfast guy in China says what I like is Belfast guy in China.
I think I didn't ask his answer ask his question last week.
So he just copied and pasted the same question.
So for that perseverance, I will answer it.
He said I did not answer it on purpose.
You know what I mean? He says, Do you ever struggle to
stop thinking of double meanings or taking the sentence
completely literally for a new joke when someone is talking to
you? For example, a girl I work with
who's once telling me her granny had died.
And she was a real character. She said, oh, she was just a wee
monkey. Really.
For the entire conversation, I didn't hear anything because I
was just imagining a wee monkey in a nursing outfit wearing a
granny's in a nursing home wearing a granny's outfit, but
had to look like I was listening.
She was some sort of sympathy. Yeah, I like that.
I like that imagery as well of like, literally a wee monkey
running about no people. So, I mean, it would be carnage.
It'd be ripping everyone, everyone's face off, which is
terrible that they do that. But they are like very
aggressive monkeys, by the way, not all people they wouldn't
stand a chance against, like especially a chimp.
Yeah, sometimes I get a we, we were carried away with imagery,
I think. Is it that I don't know.
I know you're not saying that just that's one example.
But it isn't like Asperger's. I might be totally wrong here.
And loads of people be like, how fucking dare you?
But I think, is it one of the things with Asperger's that you
can only take things literally? I might have made that up.
In fact, I think someone with Asperger's told me that, and
they're probably lying about it. But then, yeah.
And, and I know exactly what you mean.
Like when someone says brainchild, this is the
brainchild of Richard Branson, all I think about is Richard
Branson having a little wrinkled brainchild that runs about on
top of his head and then like sinks into his head.
And that really makes me feel vaguely, vaguely Greek, you
know, which is weird, but but it does.
So we have quite, oh, oh, that's really nice.
Someone's asking if I would like, like a shipment kind of of
ice creams. I'll reply to that message after
the poll, but I can't take them. But I will definitely dish them
out to my wife and some neighbours.
Yeah. Josh Haslett says for your
podcast, don't know if you have been avoiding the virus topic,
but if you aren't, I would love it if you talked about social
distance and whether you think the measures are being lessened
quickly. Josh, I'm not avoiding it.
I just feel like on the podcast, like, by the way, shout out to
my knee that was in shot for a second there.
I think people, not that they don't want to hear about it.
I don't want to be irresponsible.
Like we did the COVID episode. We brought on a couple of
doctors and I just don't think people want to hear maybe me
talk about it. I don't have an informed opinion
on it. So I think like listen to like
the experts or whatever, follow like that advice.
So it's not that I avoid it. I just don't know really what
more else to to say about it. Our social distance and measures
being lessened too quickly. I don't know.
It is frustrating though when
you see like 215 sixteen year olds on Crawfordsburn Beach
having a carry out. But then again, kids are a lot
of the time like a little bit like that.
I don't think I would have done that whenever I was that age,
but I think I would have definitely found these rules
very, very, very difficult to deal with because I like to be
doing activities and I know it's unselfish, but I think as a kid
I can understand why this would be really tough.
But at the same time, like, yeah, it's shit to see all that
because you're not worried about the kids that are doing that,
but you're like, what if they're taken at home, the parents or
grandparents or whatever. So I don't know, Josh.
That's the reason I don't talk about it because I don't really
have an informed, educated opinion on it.
So Mark Kelly, Irish League legend, says favourite holiday
destination at the minute. I would go to Dawning Day and be
very, very happy. But I'm not too sure.
I like a place called, I used to go as a kid called Porta Plienza
in Majorca. It's got like a big pine walk,
nice restaurant right by the beach.
I like it, but I think we've got really expensive whatever and
only really rich people go there now, which a lot of users like.
Well, surely the money to lapse it up.
No, So I like there. I like Lai, like San Diego, the
West Coast of the States. New York's always fun.
But at the minute I'm Magaloof. I'm a big fan of Magaloof.
And you can be judgmental to that if you wish.
But with good weather, bars, swimming pools, it's a good
time. It's just a good time.
So I like there, too, but I'd probably go anywhere at the
minute. Chloe O'Brien says hello, Me and
my friend, she says hello, hello.
And I thought this was going to turn into a very sectarian song,
but it absolutely hasn't. Chloe says me and my friend
Dervalo were having the chats on tattoos.
We were wondering whether or not you have any, both big fans of
the podcast. It is weird to think that that
conversation somewhere in the world was happening.
But do you think she and Todd has tattoos?
It's weird. Do you look at me and think I
would or do you look at me and think you definitely wouldn't?
Because I think you would look at me and think I don't.
But actually I do. And if you're watching the video
version of this podcast, I'll show you my tattoo.
I don't know how flexible I am because I ran today.
There is my tattoo. There we go.
I have one tattoo on the back of my leg.
It says the Todd father and I've told the story many times in the
podcast, so I'll give you a really quick version of it.
Dave Elliott and I did a show on Really Wolster back in the day
about 3 years ago. We had a general knowledge quiz
every week and the loser at the end of it had to get a tattoo
picked by the winner. So like for real.
Although the producer and Dave and everybody else was like, you
don't have to get a real 1. It's fine.
We can just say it was a real 1. And I said, no, I'm doing it,
I'm doing it. And I got it.
And it was bigger than I thought it was going to be.
Oh, that's what she said. And it says the Todd father and
Dave's daughter Holly's date of birth inside it because Todd
father godfather. And I like that.
I think that's funny. And people are like, do you
regret it? Like definitely, like let's just
say people close to me were not happy and I can totally
understand why, but at the same time it will always remind me of
a really stupid thing I did with my mate, like a really stupid
fun bet that I had and I was happy to do it and I no regrets.
They don't work. Robbie Williams, Why did he get
rid of his songwriting mate Guy Chambers?
Didn't have too many good ones after that.
But anyway, Matt Murph says you're playing football manager.
You've somehow taken Hartlepool to a Champions League final.
You're winning one nil against Juventus.
The clock shows 82 minutes. Your wife begins to go into
labour and says you both need to go to hospital immediately.
What do you do, Matt? I obviously do the right thing,
you idiot. I go up the hospital and and
tell my wife and my baby about how Hartlepool just won the
Champions League and how I spent three days celebrating on the
lash and they went but we're not allowed out.
Now I know in the house just having a carry out.
I won the Champions League with Hartlepool 100%.
Matthew Merlin says, would you go to space if given the chance?
No, but I'd send you there. Matthew Merlin, honestly, he's
he's a thorn in my side. If I make a mistake on this
podcast with my words, which I never do, he sends it to Dave,
Dave Elliott and Aaron Butler like some sort of like mediaeval
slave to them, you know, trying to impress the masters.
All right, my Lord, look. Look at what he's done.
Oh, master, you'll, you'll laugh at that.
Matthew Myrna. I like him, kind of.
He says, would you go to space if given the chance?
No, because I think you I'll probably die.
Like something could go wrong pretty easily.
Also I don't think I'd appreciate it.
Like you can't go out and play football up there, which is sly.
And in general, like I appreciate a good view, but for
about 3 seconds and then I go OK, that's fine.
Like I could look at pictures of space and get the same enjoyment
out of actually seeing it. Jenny says.
Do you remember Shane from Home and away?
He had good curtains. I don't because I never watched
HomeAway, Home and Away because I'm not a 65 year old, his wife.
But I'm not saying your Jenny, obviously, by the way.
Just when I think of Home and Away, I think of all women that
watched it back in the day. Yeah, he did have good curtains,
to be fair to him. She and Parish played by Dieter
Brommer. Yeah, they are pretty sweet.
I think you're trying to say that I have curtains.
No, I'm not mad at that at all, Antlers says.
What are your memories of primary school?
I'm a teacher at Strontown. We missed the lockdown rave so
much, Shabba. Well, I'll see you this week
with the rave lockdown. Yeah, I went, I think maybe I
said this, but I went to Strontown Primary School in east
Belfast and it was brilliant at a great time there.
I was in the choir, AEIO you, even though I was not a good
singer, somehow I was in the choir and yeah, played a lot of
sports, enjoyed it, had a good time.
And my memories of primary school were just me not focusing
on things easily LED, like easily losing the focus like I
am on to be sly. I am actually losing my focus
now because I'm trying to find the I should answer this
question instead of going on to the next question.
And that's what I'm going to do. Primary school was great.
I enjoyed it. I enjoyed the fact that the days
weren't as long. Like you go to primary school
like 9, you're finished at like half to three, whatever it is.
And there was less like work to do, like less homeworks and
stuff. So yeah, shout out to Strom
primary school cracking place. I enjoyed it.
I remember, and you couldn't do this now, like, snog A lamppost
because COVID. But I remember kissing a, like,
post that was in the playground at the time because I pretended
that it was Baby Spice. And I said to some of the boys
in my class, but we pretend that these posts are the Spice Girls
and kissed them. And they all went, yeah.
And then I said, oh, mine's Baby Spice.
And I went over and I gave it a kiss.
And then I turned around and nobody else was doing it.
And I don't think I went in for two weeks after that.
And that's fine. That's absolutely fine.
And I didn't really do that, in case you're thinking that I did
that. But yes, I did.
I did do that. I did do that.
But yeah, Strontome was great. I don't know, get me a plaque or
a statue or something, or invite me in the, I don't know, do some
class and like give me a suite fee.
I don't know what you want to do, but I would, I would like to
do it. I'd like to give back something
Strontome because it was pretty class, but I didn't do that well
academically. I remember the principal was
really cool. He was called Doctor Hamilton.
I don't know what he was a doctor of just being pretty dead
on, I think. And I remember somebody got
their shoe signed by him on the last day school and I thought
that was pretty class. I think it was class that he
actually signed him as well. So yeah, good memories of good
men, good times, good times in school.
I mean, this feels like summer holidays.
No, off primary school, you've no real work to do.
Just like podcasts and bits and pieces and you get to just play
in the sun at the minute. That's what this feels like.
But yes, key, everybody keep doing the social distance and
stuff and let's just get me a statue at Strontown Primary
School. That's that's the main thing.
Before we go, I have to plug the patreonpatreon.com/tea With Me
podcast. I'll also be relaunching my
website pretty soon. We'll get the merchant stuff
going from there. I think.
I think that's easiest way to do it, but I need someone to build
me a website and I put out, I'm not going to do it again because
I put out a shout out for people to build me a website.
Like does anyone know anyone? And loads of people got back to
me, but it was the week we started isolating here at the
house. So I never got round actually
sorting that out, but I will, I will.
And we've got loads of great plans for the podcast.
It's it feels like it's getting really good and the support
behind it is great and I'm blown away by it.
Really appreciate it. And I do say that every week.
Hope you don't think I'm just saying it for the sake, but I
really, really mean it. Like I love doing this.
I never want to miss an episode. I have a great time.
So we'll be back, we'll do TripAdvisor, I'll probably get
into that next week. And is there anything else you
need to build Waterfront? Hey, February, February 6th, I'm
at the Waterfront Hall in Belfast with my brand new stand
up show and I'm working so hard on that during lockdown, which
it wasn't at the start because it couldn't write any stand up.
And now I'm just working on that show and making sure that it's
ready and it is going to be ready.
Also, I'm taking my last year show.
I'm putting that exclusively on the Patreon and I'll bring out a
trailer for that this week. Thank you very much for
listening or watching Sippers Go easy.
Sip sip. Peace out.
Love you.