I'm Michael Che. And I'm Colin Jose, and we've
got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big
secret. Well, now you got to give the
people something. I'm not saying a word.
Oh, then people will know to tune in.
Come on, tell them a little. Like our hosting of comedy
events streaming only on Peacock.
Exactly. It's called New York After Dark
and it's a comedy show that only features drop in comic.
Boom, you nail. Into Michael Che's phone.
Nervous. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey.
New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing,
and it's streaming now only on Peacock.
You love it. Zippers, welcome to this episode
of the Tea with Me podcast with me, Shane Todd.
If you're watching the video version of this podcast, well
done you because it's either a good hair day or a bad hair day.
And I'm saying it's a great hair day.
I don't know what's going on, but we've reached peak 90s boy
band. That's like Yorkshire tea that
I'm really enjoying at the minute over each peak 90s boy
band hair. Like I look like the guy in the
band who would like be a replacement for someone because
it was always one of those guys in the band who like some fellow
just mysteriously left, you know, and, and then this guy
would just arrive and he was like 2 years older than the rest
of the guys in the band, But he just liked having a good time.
Like that's what he was all about.
And that's what I'm all about. And that's what we're all about
in this podcast. I hope everybody's doing well.
But statistically, like chances of that are probably extremely
low. Like there's definitely some guy
like no mate, I sure I got arrested on the 12th there and
then, you know, listen, I hope everybody had a good 12th.
I don't know what I don't really know what goes on as such.
I don't know. You know, if they're not do if
the Orange Order aren't doing like the marches, which I think
the Orange Order came out and we're like not like came out.
You know, that would be such a plot twist.
But but, but you know, if the orange or the Orange Order
basically came out and started coronavirus and went, listen,
we're cancelling the 12th of marches this year and all, we're
not doing it. We're knocking it in the head,
which actually is good like good etiquette.
You know, I, I enjoyed that from them.
I was like, guys, you know, a lot of people probably would
have had you down as just fucking getting the blinkers on
and soldiering on no matter what, But but they didn't do it.
And and I just picture like orange men just doing lobster
their garden, you know, all day on the 12th.
But but I I don't know what what people do to replace it.
Did people do anything? Did they watch old Mart?
Like did they watch like replays of old marches?
I'm not too sure, but but I hope no matter what your religion is,
gender, sexuality, whether you like tea or not, I hope that you
just enjoyed the weekend, you know, I just hope that you had a
good time. And listen, we're at this point
where the money towed. He's he's got some podcasts in
the bank. You know what I mean?
Because, well, that's not all he has in the bank.
Let's be honest, you know, we're talking about a lot of cash.
But then. But yeah, I'm just, you know,
the, the, the baby is. And that's what I'm not calling
myself the baby. But, you know, there's a baby
arriving who knows when, hopefully pretty soon.
So some of the podcasts are, you know, might have recorded an
episode a couple of weeks ago, or it might be coming out at the
time it was record. Everything's a little bit all
over the place and nothing more so than my hair.
So let's just establish that and let's move forward, brothers and
sisters, because the sun is shining and it's and it's a good
time. It's a good time.
Yeah, it's I said it's a good time, but it's also like a weird
time whenever you see now the people are going back out to the
bars and restaurants and I think like, so I was talking to my
wife's brother-in-law, which means he sounds very destined
from me, but he isn't. But there's he isn't my
brother-in-law. And I always get into arguments
with people over what relation peoples are to them.
Does that does that make sense? Like, I know it's a weird thing
to pick arguments with, but whenever someone's like, Oh no,
that means he's your brother-in-law.
It doesn't because he's, he's married to my sister-in-law.
So that doesn't make him my brother-in-law because then they
would be my brother and sister-in-law and then they'd be
married and they'd be brother and sister-in-law.
So make them sound like they were brother and sister.
And that's really what it is. And then he was telling me he
went, he went out, went out for a few drinks and it sounded like
it didn't. It's a bit like stand up coming
back, like I've spent the last few months passionately talking
about the fact that I need stand up to come back and I'm missing
stand up so bad. And I do want it to come back in
any I do, any sort of gig in any form at the minute.
But then, but I think I want it to be as close to what it was as
possible, which is probably asking for a lot because when
you hear about the way bars are at the minute, then, you know,
it's spread out. You're not allowed music on.
It just sounds a little bit eerie or something.
So. So I want it back properly.
And until then, I shan't go. No, I shan't.
But it is quite funny the way the government, they're like,
yeah, the bars are open restaurant, you know, if I can
tear away. But but your boy might not be
able to, you know, be in the hospital for for the birth.
So we're just trying to figure that out, trying to see what
medical degree I can do in the Open University website that's
going to, you know, get me into the hospital.
And then when they're like, Mr Todd, you have to leave.
I'll go. In fact, I think you'll find I
have to scrub up because I'm about to, I'm going to do a knee
replacement in 10 minutes here. And then I just go and do that
really badly and then just hang about.
I don't know, I need to figure that out.
I want like, because here's the thing, I can't really sneak into
places because I'm not prepared to be uncomfortable.
So I can't like I can't go do like a hospital border and go
listen mate, if I give you £50, will you will me in in this
laundry basket, you know, sneak me in because it sounds good.
But then again, I wouldn't be willing to like, you know,
wouldn't I wouldn't want to be in the laundry basket in case
anything smell bad. And that's why during like the
great Escape or, you know, if I was in prison, that's why I
would never be able to like get out because what if I was going
to escape and then one of the guys it was arranged and it was
like, right, we're escaping here and we're we're jumping in there
one later Corsa, there's seven of us and he's like, I know, but
we're all just going to like, come on, mate, we need to all
pack in and get out of here. It's the only car I could get.
I go no, because my knees would be all close together and I'm
Willie be uncomfortable. So, so I think that's why,
that's hopefully why I'm, you know, I'm going to stay out of
gaol basically and, and never go in so that whenever I go to
escape, I don't have to be packed in.
And that's, this is lockdown chat.
This is what lockdown does to you.
And hope you guys are because this is the real me.
You know, I've got boy band hair and I'm going on tangents and
it's a good time. It's a really good time.
I've got loads of listeners questions today, listeners
questions today and I'm going to get through as much of them as
possible because in that, like I was going to say something
really emotional there because I swallowed and then answer as
many listeners questions as possible because I love you
guys. I do love you guys, but but I've
been doing loads of like guest episodes.
So I haven't been doing the the listeners questions on those,
but there. But we'll get through a load
today and we'll, we'll do a bit of TripAdvisor for a bit of fun
and, and then, and then we'll just go, we'll just go back to
whatever we're doing. It feels like not lockdown is
over, but well, basically it feels like a lot of people are
like back to normal, which, which is great in a lot of ways,
but, but I know it's, it's like this weird limbo at the minute.
We're like no one, nobody, nobody knows what's what.
Like people are like fucking, you know, they're like guys or
people don't know people cutting their grass 7 times a day.
I don't know what's happening. All I all I know is that I wear
shorts now and I'm probably always going to wear shorts
after lockdown. And if that's the content you're
here for, you're welcome. If you want to know whether I'm
going to wear trousers or shorts, it's most likely always
going to be shorts. And I miss stand up so bad.
And then, and I don't know if I was saying this recently, but I
borrowed a microphone stand and cable and it is now in the spare
room in my house. Sorry, one of the spare, one of
the 98 spare rooms in my house. And I've just been doing stand
up to no one with YouTube crowd sounds.
So there you go. That's a good that's a good
mental image of a guy, just Tom Hanks and Castaway just doing a
full set to himself. But I don't know.
I need, I need to like, I need to express myself, darling.
And I, you know, that's the way, that's the way I do it.
Let me take another sip of tea. Oh, that's red hot shit.
Before we before we move on, which is one of my catch phrases
on the podcast, let me plug me and Dave Elliott as well as
doing the boy town podcast, which you should listen to.
It comes out every Thursday and genuinely is, I think the
silliest podcast in the land. You know, tea with me is pretty
silly. But then again, sometimes we get
guests on and sometimes we get deep or whatever.
We don't really, but but Boy Town is just two best friends
just being really, really silly and weird.
And we're doing it over Zoom at the minute, which is great for
solo podcasts. But whenever you're like Co
hosting with someone, like I think it's OK for interviews as
well. But when you're Co hosting with
someone, it's difficult because you don't know when to jump in
and stuff like that. When to say something you don't
want to talk over the other person.
So what I'm saying is Boy Town has actually been very, very
good in lockdown. And once we get back into the
studio, I honestly think that the Boy Town is gonna like get
bigger and bigger and better and better.
So check it out if you have them.
But what I want to plug is also me and Dave do the Rave Lockdown
on BBC Sounds, which is called the Shane Todd Show, but we sort
of rechristened at the Rave lockdown and, and it's it's
available. It's like a download every week
on BBC Sound. So it's a way like we're like in
between being on Radio Ulster in in between slots.
So we're just sort of keeping the momentum going on BBC Sound.
So we did an R&B week last week, which was very, very sexy.
And as we talked about in the episode, brings me back to like
being in Sky, you know, and like 2002.
Let me see. Any time I talk about like R&B
clubs or just R&B in general or Sky, I just get a little bit.
I think that was let me see. I think that was like I nearly
said to the year 2000, which it wasn't because I would have been
12 and whenever I was 12 it looked like I was 6.
And I definitely was not clubbing.
Although I like the idea of just me and a couple of pals from
school on each other's shoulders and a big long coat walk walking
the nightclubs and belt trying to get into Dempsey's.
Ah, hello, doorman, you know, But sky, it takes me back to sky
and it's all that kind of music. Jay Sean, down, baby, are you
down, down, down, down, down, down, down.
And that'll probably, that'll probably get this podcast taken
off Apple podcast because they'll listen to it.
The head of Apple listen to it and he'll go that he's put Jay
Sean in that. But no, it was actually me doing
it. So there you go also.
And you know what? I'm not going to apologise for
this podcast being all over the place because by now you guys
know me very well. You know the podcast, you know
what it is? And a lot of it is just it's
just realness. You know, a lot of it's
realness. You know, there's no, there's no
presenter voice here. You know, I said that for the
radio where I talk, I like this. But and there's a that's what
you get. There's a dog barking couple of
gardens over. OK, and as soon as this podcast
over, I'm going to form the council because you know, the
money told rats on everyone. That's a very money told thing
to always just be just be tightening people just a
complete grass money told always, always phone BSNI
anonymously giving them tips that may or not may or may not
be true. You know, like Dave Elliott,
this fake hand sanitizer. I shouldn't start things like
that. Because remember that escalated
whenever at the start of lockdown, I said in a tweet that
a bit of a picture of Dave and said that he sells fake hand
sanitizer. And then for some reason all
these 11 and 12 year olds start throwing them online and
messaging with loads of abuse. And I had to put out a thing a
bit like a statement being like, guys, I just made this up
because it does sound like a weird thing to make up.
I was like this guy selling fake hand sanitizer, but it's
actually seaweed in his own smoke.
And and it's weird that I had to basically put out a thing being
like, yeah, you know, it just reiterate it's not true.
But the damage was done because Dave said that friends of his
were like, here, our daughter heard you sell fake hand
sanitizer. And in a way, I enjoy that.
And I'm waiting for his revenge. What was he saying there about
something about realness, you know, which makes me sound like
some sort of rapper, but then I, I, I honestly don't know.
I honestly don't know. But that's what I'm saying, you
know, We, we just, we open it up.
I open my heart up to this, to this podcast and, and it's real.
And we're just, we're just talking and hopefully you guys
are enjoying this because sometimes that's what it's, you
know, basically I'm your mommy and you don't live with me.
But sometimes when you come around, which is you listen to
this podcast, don't come around to my house.
Sometimes mommy is just wearing a velour tracksuit.
Like normally I'm done up. You guys know that I'm done up
with my little Ralph Lauren sweater, little chinos, we Uggs.
But sometimes, like this episode, Mummy is in a full
Juicy Couture velour tracksuit and she's wearing our Max and
she's got her feet up and she just can't be doing with it.
And that's what it is. So we're just going to ride that
wave and we're going to enjoy it.
We're going to do a TripAdvisor me and producer down.
We're supposed to do the Patreon today, but the sort of day it is
where we're kind of like, is something happening here?
I text him about 15 minutes ago and I was like, because we're
supposed to do this in about an hour's time, a Patreon episode,
and then I messed him. Was like, hey man, I think I've
got an hour long window. Do you want to just do the
podcast now? And he's like, I can't make
because you've given me 27 second notice, you know, and he
requires much more than that. Also, there's a family.
For a second there above my head.
I saw it on the screen and nearly let out a little bit of a
whimper, but luckily I didn't. So it's all good.
It wouldn't have been all good. I've had it, but I didn't, so
it's cool. What I'm going to do is, oh, no,
I, I mugged Dave off there. Yeah.
What I'm going to do is because everyone's kind of waiting for
news about the baby and, and I sent Dave a text this morning
and said, can I show you something like a little video?
And he said sure. And I sent him a video because
it's the 12th of July today of me with AI went on YouTube and
typed in loyalist marching band. And I walked him down my kitchen
pretending that a banana was a flute and that.
And I'm 32 years old and I'm about to be a father.
So that's life. That's life.
I'm asking Dave, can he come on my podcast for two minutes here?
I want to get Dave on just for a second.
I just want to, I just want to see if he's feeling good and
having a good time. And obviously you guys might
listen to boy tonnes. You might you might be familiar
with our relationship. But if not, I think it'd be a
nice time just to bring them on because this podcast we're
calling like end of term, you know what I mean?
Like this is just the last day of school.
I'm your teacher and I've basically said like, we're going
to do the lesson outside today. And that's the vibe that we're
bringing. Zippers let me interrupt the
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Back to the ball, but we're good before we do listeners
questions, we're going to do, we're going to do TripAdvisor
and the TripAdvisor we're going to look at today.
If you haven't seen this feature before, if you haven't, yeah, if
you haven't seen this feature of the podcast, what we do is we
find a local tourist attraction, we go on TripAdvisor and we look
at the worst possible reviews. Now there are way more, better
reviews. I need to point that out.
But we're only interested in the people that just had a really
terrible time, and we're going to highlight those.
I'm looking at one of the Game of Thrones tours.
I'm not going to say exactly which one it is because it's
probably a bit sly. And bear in mind there's nine
really bad, there's nine terrible reviews, 9 per reviews,
and there's 639 excellent reviews.
So that tells you that these are like isolated incidents and the
tour is actually very good. So I'm not doing anyone down,
which is a very old working class phrase of like, don't be
doing any, don't do him down. You know, it's a, it's a phrase
I like and I heard a lot growing up.
But then, but we're going to find the worst reviews here and
just celebrate people's fucking mentalness.
That's what we're going to do. Oh, starting with my own.
So yeah, these are people that go on the full Game of Thrones
tour. Now, I like Game of Thrones.
I've seen every episode and really enjoyed it.
But and once at the very start when Game of Thrones came out, I
was like, I wonder should I get a tattoo of like the Stark
house? And then I realised that I
shouldn't do that because that is silly.
And then I couple of years later got a tattoo in the back of my
leg because I lost a bet that says the Todd father.
So at least that was, you know, a serious one.
The first bad review here is from a guy called Omar Farooq.
Omar Farooq from Ankara, Turkey. I've, I think I've been to
Ankara in Turkey and it's a pretty sweet spot.
I really like it. I like Turkey in general.
I've been to Turkey twice and know people like dismiss it as
like holiday destination because everybody from here kind of went
there in like the late 90s and early naughties and then people
just don't really go anymore. But I had a good time and I
found the Turkish people this I think there's a Turkish guy
there with a knife being like, hey man, defend us.
I had a great time in Turkey and met just the the friendliest
people like the Turkish people and I friended this guy that
worked in a car rental place beside the hotel and not out of
context all sound weird but he was like in the hotel quite a
lot. And then I just could chatting
to him and then me and him really headed off and it was it
was a good time. And then whenever I was leaving,
like I was away with like friends and my girlfriend at the
time and we were like leaving and I just had a real emotional
goodbye with the guy. And you know, again, if we kiss,
we kissed, you know, But that's the way it is.
Let me move on. Omar Farouk came over here from
Turkey to do the Game of Thrones tour.
He must have been absolutely buzzing but he did not have a
good time. And he starts his review with.
It was the worst holiday experience in our life.
And never recommend to exclamation marks.
Me and my friend bought this tour for the 9th of August
because we trusted the rating but it was just a regret for us.
A rainy morning we met with the company.
Listen mate, you're in Northern Ireland OK?
What do you expects? Not all sunshine and rainbows.
Most of the time it's fucking sleet and and drizzle.
It was a big boss and we were 32.
And I don't know whether he means, I mean, I get the big
boss part, but I don't know whether he means we were 32
years old or there was 32 of them.
Because if you're age 32 and it's a big bus, I don't that
mean that's probably the perfect age to be in a big bus.
You can, you can get up and down the stairs easy.
And also you've got a wee bit of life experience.
You know where to sit and all. You know that the cool guy sit
at the back. First it was OK.
The driver talks us along the road but never comes with you
and stays in the bus. Yeah, the driver should stay at
the wheel of the bus made to be fair to him.
Anyway, we were visiting the points of Game of Thrones.
Right? So that's why you're there. 100%
Good. Start at a point which near the
sea, a Bulgarian girl was late about 5 minutes.
I mean, Omar, you don't need to. I feel like there might be a
Turkey Bulgaria rivalry because you don't need to point out she
was Bulgarian. She was late by 5 minutes.
Anything could have happened to her mate, anything.
The driver counted us and waited for her.
Yeah. I mean, that's that's fair
enough. Because what if she's like, Oh
my, what if she's like, Oh my God, some fella just tried to,
you know, stab me in the leg whenever I was in an apple
green. They're getting a steep up.
The driver counted us and waited for her.
I mean, sensible from the driver.
Good so far. Next point was the Dark Hedges.
The driver told us to meet at half 12.
We walked, took photo and came back about 12:32, but the bus
was not in place. I mean, I do like that from the
driver and that's what you're going to get from a Belfast bus
driver. If he says 10:30 and you're
there 1032, guess what, You were late and he told you what time
he was going to be leaving at and you weren't there for it.
So at the minute Omar, the blame is fully on you.
Here we were two later, OK? Two minutes later, 5 Chinese
guests came too. Why does Omar know everybody's
nationality and why is he checking everybody's passport?
That's on the bus passport please.
How do you work for? You work for the police mate,
You work for the border? No, no, I just like no OK.
They were very surprised also. So essentially Omar and his mate
and five Chinese guys are absolutely fuming.
Only two minutes. We relate.
But what did you just we relate exactly?
And we waited with the guests for about 5 minutes.
In the previous point, we thought that the bus would come
and take us because we were seven and we didn't know what to
do. I mean, Omer has changed age
here multiple times. He was 32 getting on the bus and
now he's 7. So I can understand why he
wasn't having a good time because you would be scared and
confused in a different country with just junior main.
If you're both 7 and there's no bus there and you're supposed to
be on the bus. We understood that the driver
left us on our own. Good.
It was a rainy day in the Dark Hedges is not a central place
made nowhere Northern Ireland. The central place, Belfast City
centre is in central. Really when you think about it,
if you're from any other place, you will go.
This is sort of the countryside. First, we couldn't find a taxi
or any other transport. We asked other tour companies
and they said that our tour bus can ring and come again.
We called the company and they never helped us.
We asked for the driver's mobile number.
He said that we don't need the mobile and take care of
ourselves made you, you meant to pick us up here.
Is there any chance you can come back for us?
You don't need my number. Delete it.
And here take care of yourselves.
I mean, that might be a nice bit of the end.
Take, take care of yourself. We found a driver.
I mean, why? I mean, not as a phrase we say
in Northern Ireland that's supposed to be like nice.
But at the end of the day it's basically saying I'm done with
you or I may take care of yourself means like I'm fucking
done. We found a hotel, the
receptionist helped us get a taxi.
They charge us 30 lbs for each taxi because they said that the
price is for arrival and departure.
I don't understand what that means, but fair play.
They look the local taxi drivers just trying to get a few quid
for Christmas being like no mate, that's for arrival on
departure. I know what I'm only trying to
go somewhere. I know, but you only need to
arrive at it. All right, well, can you just
charge me for arrival? I know what we need to leave
here to get there. So it's arrival on departure
mate, I don't understand. I know why we've been sitting
here talking about this metres been going at 1750 and you have
to go Halford me in the MOT for this taxi.
What we catch the bus the giants Causeway at half two, but we
couldn't visit the most important place on this tour.
The driver mocked us when he saw us 100%.
When all these international tourists who have like had to
pay loads of money and they've been lost and haven't made it on
the bus whenever they get back 1000% the bus driver went oh
there they are. Let's keep what was keeping
news. No 1000% they went nice.
You used to join us. They are And he got everyone on
on the bus to give them a round of applause 100% but we.
What do you mean death bastard? What is death bastard?
But we couldn't visit the most important.
Yeah Later the driver did an explanation.
He told us that he can't stop there, but he would count the
bus and try and stay 2 minutes more.
Or we never recommend this tour in Belfast.
They can leave you at any point without information.
We paid 30 points or extra for a taxi and we couldn't visit the
most important place. I mean, yeah, do sort of feel
bad for the guys. We'll do.
We'll do one more here. Let me see.
Right. OK, here's one.
This is from Serena. It doesn't say where she's from.
To begin with, the seats in the bus were very crowded and even
more uncomfortable. If you're taller than one metre
75, then you probably wouldn't like to sit in the chair for
more than 10 hours a day. I mean, 1 metre 75.
Talk to me in feet, Serena. I have no idea what 1 metre 75
is. Does that mean you're 4 foot 3
or 8 foot 9? I have no idea.
What's even more unbearable was our driver Troy.
I mean here's the thing, that's not his real name.
He's giving you fake name because nobody in Northern
Ireland is called Troy. High school quarterbacks are
called Troy. In fact, literally I think Zac
Efron in High School Musical is called Troy.
My name is not Bolton dad, it's Troy.
And that's and that's High School Musical banter for the
lads are he was very talkative. A windbag.
What the fuck is a windbag? Apparently called a driver
called Troy. Someone's called him a windbag.
And a windbag, according to the dictionary, is a person who
talks at length but says any. But a windbag, according to this
dictionary, is a person who talks at length but says little
of any value. Hey, that is everybody that
lives in this part of the world. How much do we talk?
Oh, you know yourself. Anyway, at the end of the day,
it's all good. No, that's what we we say stuff
that doesn't mean anything. Troy was very talkative.
He was a windbag. He never stopped talking in the
trip while driving. 50% of his content was related to the
theme, the sites of Game of Thrones.
He said he was the driver for a few of the actors and actresses,
but there was no gossip or anything substantial.
That's because if Troy is from here, he Falkland says nothing.
So you want you want gossip on all the actors he was driving
around. When Troy knows Toto he said
nothing and the other have the other half was his own lame
jokes. That's just a Northern Irish
guy. No need to mess with this
podcast is no need to mention how dangerous it is to drive and
talk at the same time. I mean it's not if he's looking
at the road you can drive and talk at the same time.
When he finally stopped talking, we were on our way back to the
drop off. It was 20 minutes and he played
loud music when he was silent. I mean, what I like is hective
this guy called Troy just this big, like 50 year old dad doing
a Game of Thrones to her being like I sure I used to drive Cat
Harrington about no, and all the tourists are like, Oh my God,
you know, is there any good stories?
Fuck off, turn to music when I was young and see my life is so
wonderful. He's just Sarah.
Can you concentrate in the road? Fucking hold that.
Wheeler gets too close. That's King's London in there.
So it is, is it? Can you tell us a little bit
more about it? Fuck up.
I'm the scat man. You're on the wrong side of the
road, Troy. Enjoyable and it was super bumpy
since he never slowed down for any of the speed bumps.
Listen, it sounds like Troy is running a rave on wheels.
It sounds like the disco bus is going to destination fucking
rave and you're all on board and what you should do is just enjoy
the fact that you know this is wrong.
This person paid for a Buster for it Says here £35 for £35.
You wanted to go and see and hear about Game of Thrones.
He's done that, but also he's providing you a soundtrack.
He's lied about his name which is funny as well.
Probably lied about his age as well.
And what's enjoyable is he's just going full speed over the
speed bumps. He sounds like a fucking legend
so sorry if you can't handle that, but that's just the way we
are here. Also, the price you pay for the
tour doesn't include the fare for the caricory.
Rope bridge or lunch. Bring a fucking sandwich.
The driver sells both. He sells lunch in a specific
restaurant with a specific menu. I mean, that does sound dodgy.
Troy kept irritatingly pushing us on paying for the lunch to an
extent that we were so pissed off we didn't want to pay for
anything. Besides, he purposely brought us
to a restaurant that was located in the middle of nowhere.
This is not a free of choice, but a twisted demand.
Yeah, I mean, to be fair, he probably was taking on the,
like, his mate's house or something.
Just like on the way home, like just off the motorway in
Ballamina. No, this is a that's a Michelin
star restaurant, just as mate. I did, isn't it?
I didn't 150 Rustler burgers at once.
He's not America. He's love your McDonald's.
Finally, my boyfriend and I are Asians.
OK? We were among some other Asians
on the bus. It's very distinctive that Troy
did not treat us in the same manner he did the other
Caucasians. To say he's racist is definitely
too harsh, but some sort of discrimination was surely
against us. Our English is pretty perfect,
but he said there was. So there was a language.
He said that there was a language barrier.
Finally, when he stopped talking, it was on our way back.
Troy was just absolutely knackered.
Like so if you're an Asian who's taller than one metre 75 and
doesn't like talking of drivers who bounced the car when he
stopped talking, you should definitely not take Troy's car.
I mean that is their slogan and IA 1000% want to get on Troy's
bus. I mean when lockdown is over, me
and all my mates are going to do the Game of Thrones tour and as
soon as we get on I'm going to say Troy.
Be yourself. And I know you're not called
Troy, and I guarantee you his real names Roy, because he
doesn't. He doesn't have.
He's panicked. What's your name, Roy?
I made fucking Troy. Troy should be like a 21 year
old guy from California in an Abercrombie and Fitch T-shirt,
slightly long surfer hair and a beaded necklace.
Troy as in a 50 year old bus driver with a short sleeve white
shirt, tattoos and a Man United necklace.
You know, fair play to Troy. Troy, I want to get in your bus
to, to, to, to turn the tunes up.
Love that, absolutely love that. I get I don't need to do that.
I don't need to do the tour to know that you know that.
You guys know the money. Toad has a lot of money.
I bet any money in the world that Troy finishes the tour, if
you're good crack and he thinks you're good crack with a Game of
Thrones dance remix and he find he finds the road in the country
with the most speed bumps possible, people getting
whiplash and all those shoes. Love it, Troy, I love you.
Fantastic, fantastic. I really I really enjoyed
bringing back TripAdvisor there. That was a lot of fun.
We've got listeners questions. That's that's good too.
I said to Dave, can you come on the podcast?
He said account we're heading to the farm.
That's just the way he does. That's the way he does it.
But yes, good few listeners questions here.
Gary Fletcher says, they say you shouldn't meet your heroes.
So should you meet your heroes or not?
Hope you're well, bro, Gary. Hope you're well too, bro, and
hope you are. Gary Taylor Fletcher used to
play for Blackburn and Leicester.
They say you shouldn't meet your heroes.
So should you? Yeah, probably.
But you probably shouldn't expect a heroic experience with
your hero, if that makes sense. So if I saw like, who's my hero?
Julian Simmons No, I've never really been like I love football
growing up. So like say Roy Keane or
someone. Roy Keane was a hero man growing
up and I think he's like great footballer and I would love to
like, I don't even know if I'd love to meet him.
That's the thing. Because what is the expectation
that what's the reality of it going to be?
Alright Roy, big fan. Thanks, mate.
You know, you can have like a pleasant conversation with them,
but I don't really know. I think it's almost bad.
Like sometimes if you see like a big celebrity or whatever, say
like I'm in London or New York on a trip or whatever and I see
someone famous, sometimes it's like, you know, you give like a
we not sometimes all you need to do is give like a we nod like,
yeah, kid from Jerry Maguire. All right, buddy.
So I don't know. But yeah, I think you probably
should. You should meet your heroes.
Yeah, fucking why not? You can pretend like some people
probably pretend that they don't think that that would be a cool
thing, you know? But fuck it.
If you have a hero and you get a chance to chat to them and it,
you know, if they're your hero, they should be like probably
like dead on enough to have a nice chat.
So yeah, you probably should meet, but it depends who your
hero is. Like, you know, if your hero,
for example, is Joseph Freitzel, don't meet them and change your
change your guidelines for what a hero should be.
Connor Cochrane says. Dalton, Green tea.
We've talked about it before. It's each to their own.
But at the same time, OK, you
know, you're in. You're in.
But at the same time, we'll try and get you on the regular tea.
But yeah. But at the same time as that,
don't let anybody tell you what you can and can't drink.
Live your life, do you? Love is love TST the best way I
can put it love you bro Ben says how does one pull off curtains
like the money told himself listen I'm not yeah I have
curtains but it's only like you know those windows with which is
1 curtain straight across that's the way it is.
But all you do is you believe in yourself, you back yourself and
you go through that stage where it's kind of like a wee bit
longer than normal, so you can't style it as well.
And then basically you're, you're crossing the desert to
get to the pond. I've said that like it's a
really, really inspirational phrase and I don't understand
what it means. But what I mean is if you walk
through enough shit, you're going to get to the T, you know
what I mean? So I'm at this point where I, I
can fucking do what I want with this.
Do I get the back and sides tidied up or they just grow it
out? I don't know.
And I genuinely am enjoying the journey.
I think I look CUTE sheeny boy QQ and everybody else knows that
I do because that's one thing you can't deny about the kid.
You can't deny as a cute boy like 100% or man, if you want to
say because I'm 32 probably better and less creepy.
But you can't deny that the guys cute like you know, it's it's
what it is one of those things. Yeah, my eyes can get a little
bit too puffy sometimes, but that's just a byproduct.
And that's, you know, that's just another example of you if
you're gonna walk through the desert to get to the pond.
So make it out. We will.
And maybe I can. Let me.
Let me see, Ben, what you've got going on here.
Let me see. Oh, no.
That's. Do you know why?
Do you know why I'm such an old guy?
Because that was a screenshot that I took a couple of days ago
of all the questions. And then I tried to click on
your profile to see what was happening with your hair.
And then I realised that I, I can't do that because it's a
picture and technology doesn't work like that.
But I hope everyone's enjoying the curtains.
Patrick Quinn, who is also the artist formerly known as Belfast
Guy in China. But I think if I'm not wrong,
he's going through a rebrand here.
That's what we do sometimes. You know, I used to just be
known as she and she and Todd. She and she and Todd.
That's my middle name, which a lot of people don't know and I
change it up and I was like, hey, start calling me the tall
father. The money to Cheney boy, QQ man,
boy, cheeky. What goal would you feel very
proud to say you achieved in 2020 as you look back in New
Year's Eve with a drinking hand? Also, can you say toy boat 10
times very fast. Best of luck with the baby.
Hope you're excited and ready Will be an amazing year for you.
Patrick. I appreciate you, brother, for
for being a for being part of the podcast, for firing in a
question every week, for listening, for bringing good
questions. And I'm just for being a Belfast
guy in China. I don't know if you're still
injured. Maybe that's why maybe you had
to leave China because you were trying to spread the message of
the podcast too much and the Chinese got more like, listen,
that's not the message we want to convey.
We want to just convey socialism.
And I don't know if they are socialists there.
I've tried to talk about politics and I don't, I don't
know if that's right or wrong, but but what goal would I love
the look back and say achieved in 2020?
I think, I think in 2020 it wouldn't be bad to just say that
you kept your shit together. Do you know what I mean?
I think I think it would be OK just to say, listen, I ticked
over. No, fuck that.
You know, I was going to say it'd be OK just to say like I
just got through it. But I would love to say I from a
like career point of view that in lockdown I wrote a lot of
material, tried to always get better at stand up.
What else shot ATV show? You know, I am like think I
underplay stuff quite a bit because I think that's just kind
of what we do here is, is under play stuff and maybe I should
stop doing that. But at the same time, you know,
I joke about, you know, the money told and all that kind of
thing. But yeah, I'm trying to find
something relevant to what I'm saying.
I'm bringing up in a second here.
I shot ATV show previously with Shane Todd.
I'd done a pilot last year. It was repeated at the start of
lockdown. Did well shot ATV show and and
it was just so before we had a crew of like 25 people roughly
and and way more than that worked on the show.
And this time it was me, my producer Mark, who was who was
directing to and Seamus, our cameraman.
So it was a crew of two and me and then and it's a show that I
don't think from the little bits and pieces I saw at the time, I
don't think you'll look at it and go, God, they shot that with
just three people in lockdown with like no run up to it.
Basically. You know, that's just the way TV
kind of went over lockdown where I think every broadcaster across
the world probably was like, we need stuff to go out.
We need to get stuff done even though it's locked down.
So what do you have? And we said we'd like to do a
series of that. They they were up for it.
And I'm not, I'm not ever going to be like when it's out, I'm
not going to bear in mind we shot this on lockdown.
What I mean is I'm just, I'm proud of the people who worked
on it, including myself, that we had like very little run up to
do in an entire series. And we just, we just did it.
We just did it. We got it done.
I think it was funny at a really good time doing it.
But at the same time, it's like, it's like on to the almost like
on to the next thing. But I think if I took time to
think about it, I would be like pretty proud of myself for, for
doing that. And I think, I think people
will, will enjoy it. I hope they do.
And Patrick appreciate that as always.
And I, I got the, yeah, I, I, I had a, we had an e-mail at
tmbpodcast@gmail.com. Get in touch with us if there's
anything you want to talk about from a little gentleman called
Noah Battlelord who said. I want to say I love the
podcast, that I really appreciate the effort you and
your team put into producing such a high quality product.
I don't think shout out to your thing, but I figured out this
was worth a shot. Listen, just fucking team me
bloggers, thegmail.com. Nothing's really off the table.
My boyfriend Phillip's birthday is coming up in mid-july.
I was hoping he'd get a mention for you in the podcast.
He's a Belfast guy in China, but not the Belfast guy in China.
Ah, shit, right. I thought Belfast.
Have we just figured out that there's two Belfast guys in
China? If you guys aren't best friends,
why not? Because there's two Belfast guys
in China that listen to this podcast and that means that in
China, two people listen to this podcast and I'm absolutely
buzzing with that. He's a Belfast guy in China, but
not the Belfast guy in China. I like the idea that that that's
his Twitter bio, A Belfast guy in China, but not the Belfast
guy in China from the Team with Me podcast.
Let me let me finish off Patrick's question by saying I
would like to look back just from like not a personal point
of view, but career point of view and say wrote some good
stand up shot the TV show. We kept doing the podcast and
no, I don't know what's going on in a couple of weeks.
Maybe doing 2 episodes a week is a bit too ambitious, but I want
to try and stick to that. So I think just, yeah, doing the
podcast and hopefully putting out good stuff the this week,
the Keith Cruz summer soccer school videos and going out
every day. And I shot that last week and
scheduled it all to go out this week.
So I can just relax and kind of have that go out.
So hopefully people are enjoying that.
And again, that's something me and Aaron Butler shot in like a
couple of hours. I edited the same night.
So I'm enjoying like just doing wee things by myself.
And so thank you, and let me move on.
Noah Ballard, who says my boyfriend Philip is a Belfast
guy in China, but not the Belfast guy in China.
We've established that Belfast guy in China does not go out
with Noah Ballard unless there is some triangle there and Noah
Ballard is just in Belfast guys in China.
In which case, that's a very niche demographic, but I like
it. Noah says that his boyfriend
lives in the city of Suzu Sujo. OK.
He's told me how to pronounce it, which is very handy because
that's what you pronounce it wrong.
Tea with Me was a major source of normality for him as the
lockdown in COVID-19 situation kicked off here in China.
The podcast continues to be a rock for him.
While he stuck 6000 miles away from his family, things gotten
worse back home. He's a great guy with a passion
for Northern Ireland and love for the podcast.
He's even got me, an American and a few of our friends hooked
in taking Tea With Me Global. Yeah, like I said, I don't think
shout out, shout out really are your thing, but I figured this
was worth a shot. Either way, keep up the good
work and stay sipping Noah Balor with that e-mail is very sexy
and so many coins. Here's your shout out and I love
that you're spreading the word about tea and me globally.
That's fantastic. And I love that you know there's
international relationships going on because I'm watching 90
day fiance at the minute and TLC.
I would love to see you guys on it.
I don't know if you're already engaged or you just boyfriend
pop the question beyond my day fiance and then when you get on
it mentioned tea with me podcast and I'll give you a free
T-shirt. Love you guys.
Hope you stay safe and keep representing in China and
America and all that and yeah, happy to do that for you.
Michael Carer says I can't get over how Aaron Butler says
vulnerable in this ad Aaron Butler did a Translink ad.
Now Aaron Butler's been on the podcast not that long ago and we
said that he says the word nigh really weird.
Michael got in touch. The thing was Michael and says
that who just finds flaws in the way Aaron Butler speaks very sly
and said said Aaron Butler says the word nigh really weird.
And then he got in touch with me and said Aaron Butler says the
word vulnerable really weird in this.
Now the thing that he sent me is shit.
Why can't I find this is basically an ad that Aaron has
done that you know, he's done like we cameo in for Translink
and he actually speaks very, very well in it, which I did
tell him. But we might absolutely RIP him
apart if we can find that he has said vulnerable in a weird way.
So let's try and find that. Let me see.
Sorry this taken me a second to find, but it will be worth it.
Also, he did the ad a pair of white shorts, which is very
Butler and that's why we love him.
Why can't I find this? Maybe he's retweeted.
In fact, he definitely has. But we're listening out to hear
the way he says vulnerable. He is not shared it as Aaron
Butler known that we're going to do this and deleted it.
That is the question. So the ad is for the glider.
It's for the glider and Tim McGarry is in it and irons in
it. And I was not asked and I was
not asked. So not asked, OK.
And that's my attitude sake, right?
I bet you can find it here. Yes, I think we've got it.
Yes, things are looking brighter, but it's not over yet.
So there's 10. Absolutely, Neil.
And with Tim speaking perfectly on the bus of the glider, key
workers, the elderly and vulnerable people.
OK, OK. He does say vulnerable.
That's a confirmation.
The Butler says vulnerable. And we'll give him a ring at the
end of the podcast here and see what he has to say for himself.
Matthew Merlin, what are you most looking forward to about
being a dad? Just walking about saying I am a
father. That is my child Johnny Bow.
If you could add a new rule to football, what would it be?
Sexy guys playing skins. Sexy guys playing skins that
like Graziano Pella or Emery Chan or I don't know, just off
the top of my head that nuts in there sexy.
I just fucking don't worry about it.
John Ryan Mcgonigal probably haven't asked this a million
times, but if you want a comedian, TV personality and
host of the #1T Theme podcast got you done, what job would you
see yourself doing? I don't know.
It would be in media somehow. It would be like a writer or
researcher. I don't know.
It would have to still be in this kind of like field.
Lewis Simpson, will you be getting some merch for the
upcoming child, which just says the money totalis?
Yeah, the money spawn. The money spawn the money total
of TMT. Just sort of like just buy a
load of Mayweather gear and basically just pass it off as my
own. Yeah, that'll be enjoyable.
Luke Atkinson. Fancy joining the posters from
Warzone later? Need one more for the quads.
I don't know what that is, but no, no I do not.
Is that like Laser quest? In which case, actually fucking.
Maybe after the baby comes we'll be up for that.
Colin Hines currently battling with a lockdown hairstyle.
Have you thought about making the curtains a permanent thing?
Get yourself a shell, see a little bit like the 90s all over
again. Hoping to see you when you come
to Manchester in your next year. Yeah, me too.
We've got a Manchester date sorted, I think, and if we
don't, I'll get that up and share it out.
Yeah, I am thinking about making this style of thing.
Johnny Dempster convinced my mate has you on Patreon.
It's too scared to admit it. Can you help expose him?
Cheers. Johnny.
Shut up. If your mate has me on Patreon,
which is a very pensioner way of saying it.
Do you have him on Facebook? If he does, he's opened himself
up to a lot of great content that if you don't, then you
don't. So what I'm saying is, Johnny,
keep your big hood, all right? Unless you're a Patreon
supporter, in which case, great to have you on board.
But no, won't expose your friend or expose you as being a fucking
rat. Damian Mcgreen is an inspiring
money told myself. I want to know if you had all
the money in the world or even just a few more pound you have
currently, what would you do with it?
I would end world hunger or just buy the fucking greatest
wardrobe of all time by like a really bespoke winter wardrobe.
We're seeing a lot of white faux fur.
We're seeing a lot of mink, but not real mink because animal
cruelty is very sly. And then at the same time like
it's like a big brand or whatever was like, do you want
this main coat? Give me, give me it now,
darling. I'll scrub your eyes out.
So yeah, I think I just put on a big party for the zippers, a big
tea party, which we are going to do after lockdown.
Guys, before we go, I want to plug patreonpatreon.com/tea with
me podcast where you can get the bonus episode every Monday with
me and producer Dan, the live episode once a month.
And also my stand up special is on there for you to watch if
you're Patreon subscriber. So go and check that out
patreon.com/T with me podcast. And for now, that's all.
That's all I got to say. Subscribe to the podcast if you
haven't already, if you if you have a minute and you can leave
me a sweet review or you want to put the podcast when I share it
out in your Instagram story or something and show friends,
that'd be really, really appreciated.
And if not, hey, still love you, still all good rabbit money
Toad's still going to be lapping that dosh up anyway, AKA money
notes. But but guys, it's been a real
fun episode. Honestly, like I've really
enjoyed this. It's been giddy, It's been fun
and yeah, I love you all. Thanks all for the questions.
Everyone that chips in with regular questions and everyone
that's that's a new listener. It's gone on too long this
outro, but I just want to say I appreciate y'all keep sipping.
Let's have a good time. Keep those international
relationships going.