1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:03,080 I'm Michael Che. And I'm Colin Jose, and we've 2 00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,280 got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:06,480 secret. Well, now you got to give the 4 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,360 people something. I'm not saying a word. 5 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:09,920 Oh, then people will know to tune in. 6 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,080 Come on, tell them a little. Black Hour hosting of comedy 7 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,440 events streaming only on Peacock. 8 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,160 Exactly how it's called New York After Dark, and it's a comedy 9 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:18,120 show that only features drop in comics. 10 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,040 Boom, you nail. Into Michael Che's phone. 11 00:00:20,040 --> 00:00:22,000 Nervous. Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey. 12 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:25,720 New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing, 13 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,000 and it's streaming now only on Peacock. 14 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:40,600 You love it. Zippers, welcome to the Tea With 15 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,800 Me podcast with me, your little friend. 16 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:45,200 She and Todd. It's a guest episode this week. 17 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,640 My guest is none other than Gordon Smart. 18 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:50,120 Gordon was the showbiz editor of The Sun. 19 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,400 For many, many. Years, despite just being like a 20 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:56,360 young guy, he's also been the deputy editor of the actual Sun, 21 00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:59,600 the editor of the Scottish Sun, and more recently he's been 22 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:03,120 doing a show on Radio X. We talked about a load of 23 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:05,920 different things about when he was showbiz editor, the people 24 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:10,000 he met, the interactions he had, Amy Winehouse, Noel Gallagher. 25 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,480 He rubbed shoulders with them all. 26 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:14,440 And more importantly, I got to ask him about my friend Harry 27 00:01:14,440 --> 00:01:17,720 Styles, who I would like to be a lot more than my friend. 28 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,760 And Gordon proceeds to tell me a story about Harry Styles that, 29 00:01:21,800 --> 00:01:25,160 by the way, I didn't ask anything about Harry Styles 30 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,080 penis, but he told me a story about it nonetheless. 31 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,920 And it's the best and only Harry Styles penis story I've ever. 32 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:33,440 Heard. And if anything it's made me 33 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:35,240 like Harry Styles a lot more. So. 34 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:37,640 Tune in for that. Before we get into it, let me 35 00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:41,200 plug two things. Number one is patreonpatreon.com 36 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,960 slash Tea with Me podcast where you can get the bonus episode of 37 00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:49,200 the podcast every Monday, merch giveaways, the live episode, all 38 00:01:49,200 --> 00:01:53,040 that kind of thing. And also manscapedmanscaped.com. 39 00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:56,760 Our promo code is Tea with Me and if you use that you get 20% 40 00:01:56,760 --> 00:02:00,160 off and free shipping. Manscaped is essentially. 41 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:05,400 A tool that allows you to make your tool look better. 42 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,639 You know, we surveyed 100 guys and we got 100 guys in Northern 43 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:13,520 Ireland to pull down their trousers and pants and then we 44 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,800 conducted a survey and we said let me see your pubic hair and 45 00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:20,240 we looked and we were horrified. We were absolutely horrified. 46 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:24,280 Apart from one guy who uses the Manscape Lawnmower 3.0. 47 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,240 So that's what we need to do. We need to go to Manscape, check 48 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:30,000 out what they do. Producer Dan and I have got the 49 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:33,640 travel kit, so we've got the Manscape Lawnmower 3.0, we've 50 00:02:33,640 --> 00:02:37,560 got the ball cleanser, the toner, the moisturiser, all of 51 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,440 it. Big Mike back in the studio 52 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:44,000 today, not yet a Manscape user, and he is excited about how his 53 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,440 life is going to change and his friends and family's life are 54 00:02:46,440 --> 00:02:48,400 going to change when he starts. Trimming it up. 55 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,880 So check out manscape.com. The promo code is Tea With Me. 56 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:53,760 You get 20% off and free shipping. 57 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:56,960 On with the Tea With Me episode with the lovely Gordon Smart. 58 00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:07,820 Gordon, I asked the hard hitting questions. 59 00:03:07,820 --> 00:03:10,180 I asked the big questions. Let me ask you this. 60 00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:14,180 Do you drink tea? If so, what is the level of your 61 00:03:14,180 --> 00:03:16,140 tea drinking? When did you get into the game? 62 00:03:16,220 --> 00:03:19,340 Etcetera, etcetera. This is going to be such a sad 63 00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:20,340 story to start with. Shame. 64 00:03:20,340 --> 00:03:24,720 But I think this will be the first story you've heard about 65 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:26,880 injuries stopping a man drinking tea. 66 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,800 Yeah. I've had a terrible dear 67 00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,840 cruciate drinking tea. Do you know anybody who's ever 68 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,160 played sport? Romeo think forsake. 69 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:39,480 Once again he's injured. It's ridiculous. 70 00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:42,440 I, I've been, I've had six months this year shame without 71 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,560 being able to speak. I got a haemorrhaged polypom of 72 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:47,480 vocal chords, which was a horrible thing. 73 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,760 And the worst things for are alcohol, coffee and tea. 74 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,440 So I've I've been through lockdown without the support 75 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,120 network of tea. I mean. 76 00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,400 That's. What everybody needs, that's the 77 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,360 one thing everybody needs. I mean, even more so than your 78 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,800 voice. You need you need to be able to 79 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,600 drink a cup of tea. Alcohol, tea. 80 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:09,320 Oh man, it's been there's been a rough ride this year. 81 00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,760 Were you just not able to speak for six months? 82 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,320 Pretty much. I mean, I had a bit of a voice, 83 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:17,360 but I just sounded like I was on about 40 regal king size a day, 84 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,640 you know, I was and it would just disappear after half an 85 00:04:20,640 --> 00:04:22,640 hour and I just did not make a noise like that. 86 00:04:22,960 --> 00:04:25,320 But sometimes I think that's sexy, like sometimes the first 87 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,320 couple of days of a throat infection, I mean, what you had 88 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:29,240 was way more severe and it shouldn't underplay it. 89 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,920 But the first couple of days of a throat infection, like you, it 90 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,840 sounds good. Thanks for that. 91 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,800 Well, it's totally redundant though. 92 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,640 Having been married for 17 years, there's no point in 93 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,600 having a sexy anything when you have. 94 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,920 And listen, you are steaming into this world now, right as a 95 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:46,880 man with a child. And you're recently married as 96 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,320 well, aren't you? You were. 97 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,880 Gordon, good question. How long ago would it have been? 98 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,360 I mean, listen, if off the top of my head, yeah, somewhere 99 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,200 between one and four years ago I got married. 100 00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,800 I can't remember the exact time, but I'm. 101 00:05:02,840 --> 00:05:05,400 Listen to me, I turned. Like 2 1/2 years ago. 102 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:08,640 Good man, I turned 40 in lockdown right? 103 00:05:08,720 --> 00:05:11,800 Been married for 17 years, two children. 104 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,840 There's no point in me having a lovely voice. 105 00:05:13,840 --> 00:05:16,440 There's no point in me giving a shit about my body. 106 00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,800 It's just it's all over me. Don Well, I'm 32. 107 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:21,520 Are you saying like it's 40, the age? 108 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,400 You said I've got eight years left, the kind of sculpt. 109 00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,160 And then after that, it's just, it's just done. 110 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,240 Well, I got the snap about 18 months ago. 111 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:32,520 That was kind of a a sign that things were heading in the wrong 112 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:34,640 direction. And then it's just got worse 113 00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:36,760 from there, really. So I see you've got 7 or 8 years 114 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,600 before it's just just retiring. Just give up. 115 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,240 Leave. I'm going to make the most of 116 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,160 that then, but I want to chat. There's loads of things I want 117 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:45,720 to chat to you about, one of which is this. 118 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:49,360 I know from your social media you're a big football fan, big 119 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:53,720 Hibs fan. I've been the one SPL game, one 120 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:57,920 Scottish Premier League game which was Hearts, whenever I was 121 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:00,000 doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, which I want to chat 122 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,520 to you a bit about as well. I want to see Hearts play part 123 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:07,400 of Thistle because I just I had a real appetite for some 124 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,840 football and then I went to see Hartsby product Thistle and I 125 00:06:09,840 --> 00:06:11,360 still had an appetite for something. 126 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:16,120 I don't know how you ended up at Tynecastle because all the great 127 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,960 comedians and I say who visit Edinburgh for the festival come 128 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:26,440 and visit Hibs. Well, that's why I Sean Hughes, 129 00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:29,960 the late, great Sean Hughes, for instance, massive Hibs fan, used 130 00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:31,920 to see him Easter Road and Andrew Maxwell as well. 131 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:35,320 Yeah. So I, it was a friend of a 132 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:39,120 friend, had tickets at Hearts. He's like come down, watch the 133 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,320 game. And the probably the most 134 00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,920 uncomfortable I've ever been in my life, the worst moment of my 135 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:50,200 life was I went up to the, the tea van at Tynecastle and I 136 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,880 asked if they did green tea. And the woman, the, the sort of 137 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,480 55 year old woman that was working there very nearly from 138 00:06:57,480 --> 00:07:00,600 the place, you know, I was very, very nearly arrested for it. 139 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,120 And I'm just very. Poked the head on you. 140 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:06,600 You know you're lucky that you just looked at unimpressed. 141 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:10,200 Good work. But but yeah, I mean, it was, it 142 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,160 was very enjoyable and I heard swearing at a Scottish football 143 00:07:13,160 --> 00:07:16,160 match that I've never heard before in in such a creative 144 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,840 way. Yes, I love swearing at one of 145 00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:21,320 my favourite ever was. Hibbs played Rangers in about 146 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:27,120 19, probably 1993 and Mark Haley played up front with Ali Mccoist 147 00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:30,600 and I remember a Hips fan who's his vocabulary let him down at 148 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,000 the vital moment and he just shouted from from the East 149 00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:36,360 standard Mark Haley, you're just a fucking fuck. 150 00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,280 Everyone was like, yeah, good, good. 151 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:44,240 We know what you mean. He had to start saying not every 152 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,680 week then to make it seem like no, that's that made sense then. 153 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,640 So let's go back to the fact that you lost your voice for six 154 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,520 months. Being a radio broadcaster, I 155 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:57,960 would say it's not ideal to for half of a year not be able to 156 00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:03,960 speak. Yeah, to have 99.5% of your body 157 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:07,640 working pretty well, another little bit preventing you from 158 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,040 doing what pays the bills is horrendous. 159 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,440 Look, I'm very careful about complaining too much because 160 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:17,200 there are people in more circumstances, but it has been a 161 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:19,480 bag of shite this year, really, really miserable. 162 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,040 And it's been lovely being at home. 163 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,920 I actually realised that I really like my wife and 164 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:26,240 children, which was one of the great outcomes of lockdown. 165 00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:29,640 But losing my voice, it was horrendous because again, I do 166 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:33,039 quite a lot of voice over stuff. And that all stopped obviously. 167 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,159 And then I realised actually everything I do realise on me 168 00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:38,840 being able to speak and communicate effectively and I 169 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,919 couldn't do that and I had some pretty dark times. 170 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:46,120 And also, if you'll notice this yourself, if you're not pushing 171 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:50,160 yourself and promoting yourself and really forcing yourself on 172 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:53,240 that industry that you work in, you're just forgotten about. 173 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:56,320 And I just disappeared into the hills in Scotland, like Luke 174 00:08:56,320 --> 00:09:00,840 Skywalker on that island just disappeared. 175 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,080 Yeah, I mean, there definitely is that thing. 176 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,800 Even if I, if you don't put something out for even a couple 177 00:09:07,800 --> 00:09:13,880 of days, it's, it's the idea of feeling not relevant or you 178 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:16,720 know, that the people who, who like what you do will just move 179 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:19,200 on very quickly, which probably if they like you is not the 180 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:22,880 case, you know, and, and sometimes a break or taking a 181 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:25,640 bit of time away is a good thing, but you never think that 182 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:29,320 at the time. And God, I just think, well, 183 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,400 with lockdown, that's the first time I've ever not been able to 184 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:32,840 do stand up for a load of months. 185 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,760 So a voice injury or damage in my throat is something I've 186 00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,440 never really thought about before, but could so easily 187 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:40,760 happen. I mean, if you're on stage for 188 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:44,880 an hour night doing a tour and you lose your voice, it's, I 189 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:49,080 imagine it's, you know, with, with the radio show and, and you 190 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,640 know what you're doing, it's kind of a way to express 191 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:55,480 yourself. It's a way to just just it, it 192 00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,400 is who, who you are, you know, a broadcaster. 193 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:01,280 So did you when that happened at the time, did you know that it 194 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:03,280 was like pretty serious or was it just like us? 195 00:10:03,280 --> 00:10:06,080 We find them a week or two. No, I've had a problem with it 196 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,240 for a while, probably about three years. 197 00:10:08,680 --> 00:10:10,520 And the surgeon eventually said to me, he said, is there a 198 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,400 particular incident in your life, Gordon, where you've 199 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:15,760 probably screamed or sung at the top of your voice or been on a 200 00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,760 rather loud night out or do you play sport where it involves you 201 00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:21,240 shouting quite a lot? And I thought, how'd I tell this 202 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,000 guy, right, That I've been swearing and shouting at the top 203 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,840 of my voice for the best part of 20 years, Really. 204 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:30,120 You know, it's like in a Harbour Bar and Portrush at 4:00 in the 205 00:10:30,120 --> 00:10:32,680 morning and a lock in when you're just screaming Sally 206 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,480 Macmanana, whatever it's called, and shouting at people. 207 00:10:36,040 --> 00:10:37,560 Yeah. I've not looked after myself 208 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:38,840 properly. And it's a serious one for you, 209 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,240 Shane Wright, because I know a lot of comedians now who have 210 00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:43,240 started to take it quite seriously and, like, warm their 211 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:45,120 voices up. Like John Robbins used to work 212 00:10:45,120 --> 00:10:48,480 with me on Radio X. He does vocal warm up exercises 213 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,320 because he's got quite a gravelly voice as well. 214 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:53,360 We I'm telling you, man, look after it because it's, I mean, 215 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,800 it's your, your industry, it's your job, it's your livelihood. 216 00:10:56,160 --> 00:10:58,240 You know, if you were a professional footballer, you 217 00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,160 wouldn't just walk on the pitch that maybe you would actually 218 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,480 just walk in the pitch without warming up. 219 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:05,480 But you smoking a fag, having a bacon roll. 220 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,040 But you need to look after yourself, Shane, I'm telling 221 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:11,800 you, said the wise old man. Speaking of the Harbour Bar in 222 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:14,640 Port Rush, have you spent time in Northern Ireland before? 223 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,760 Have you spent much time over here? 224 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,360 Jane, this is This is why I've come on this podcast, just to 225 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:22,600 get very excited about how much I love Northern ire. 226 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:27,320 So what's, sorry, let's let's go back a bit to sort of set that 227 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:31,240 up. So I have known your name for 228 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:36,400 years and years because of the I've got to admit, you know, 229 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:40,480 genuine massive fan of the bizarre column in the sun back 230 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:42,760 in the day. You know, I would have genuinely 231 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,160 not a wind up. I genuinely would always have 232 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:49,800 was what was the section in that where it was like, I don't think 233 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,160 it was called Wicked Whispers. Or maybe it was where it was 234 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:53,880 like, who are we talking about here? 235 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,040 I used to. I used to do little things 236 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:57,680 called Bizbits. It was 3:00 AM. 237 00:11:57,680 --> 00:11:59,960 He used to do Wicked Whispers. Bizbits. 238 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:02,880 It's so nice to hear somebody being kind about it because 239 00:12:02,880 --> 00:12:05,360 normally this is a conversation that's like the the precursor of 240 00:12:05,360 --> 00:12:08,480 me having a fight in a pub. No, no, no, I'm a, I'm, I'm a, 241 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,880 I'm a gossip guy. Like I'm big time. 242 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:14,680 I'm the original gossip guy. I love to read about celebrity 243 00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,800 gossip. And whenever I used to go to 244 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,880 college, I would buy the, I would buy the sun in the 245 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:21,160 morning, mainly for the football, the two things I would 246 00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:23,280 read with football and the showbiz section. 247 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:26,880 So whenever I did the the episode with Jamie Dornan and 248 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:30,720 and you and I sort of chatted a bit online, I was like, oh, 249 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:32,680 that's, that's Gordon from the paper. 250 00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,040 So were you coming over to Northern Ireland back in the day 251 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,440 through work or was it just like a social thing? 252 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:40,680 I mean, it goes back beyond that. 253 00:12:40,680 --> 00:12:41,960 I've got a massive connection over there. 254 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:45,320 Well, my brother went to university in Dundee and it 255 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:50,120 seemed like everybody in Dundee between 1994 and, well now is 256 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:51,600 from Northern Ireland. Yeah, yeah. 257 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,240 I don't know why we, I don't know why we go. 258 00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,360 I mean nothing against Dundee but it's just it's a strange 259 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,000 place that everyone just seems to go to uni. 260 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:03,920 Liverpool Liverpool, Dundee and Newcastle seem to be 3 big 261 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:06,480 places. And I just fell in love with all 262 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,840 these mad characters from Northern Ireland. 263 00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:11,280 It was brilliant. And it just seemed to be that we 264 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:12,680 all ended up playing football together. 265 00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:15,920 Like I ended up the Snow Patrol boys, for instance, played 266 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,920 football and around the same sort of time. 267 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:20,760 And it just felt like everything LED back to Belfast. 268 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:23,400 And I ended up having this weird understanding of Belfast 269 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,200 geography from meeting people and like, so. 270 00:13:25,240 --> 00:13:26,760 So it's like Le Nevada. Oh yeah. 271 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:27,440 Bangor. Aha. 272 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,400 Port Rush. Yeah. 273 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,680 Port Stewart. Don't Patrick. 274 00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,240 Oh yeah. Of course, the Garvahi Rd. 275 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:34,160 Holy fuck. And then like I just became 276 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,040 really parley with all these boys through my Big Brother. 277 00:13:36,040 --> 00:13:38,320 They were mental. I remember a guy called Brian, 278 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:40,080 another fella, Henry. They were wild. 279 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:43,840 And then I went to university at Napier and just once again fell 280 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:47,640 in company with some of the wildest men from Northern 281 00:13:47,640 --> 00:13:50,800 Ireland and that led to lots of bad behaviour and serious 282 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,440 trouble. But then late and when I moved 283 00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,680 to London in about 2003, I became really palli with a guy 284 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:59,680 called Steve Martin, who I would love you to meet, actually a 285 00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:03,160 great guy for you to know. And Steve Martin's dad was quite 286 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,960 famous in Belfast and quite famous in Northern Ireland. 287 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:09,240 His name was Tony Martin, but he passed away a couple of years 288 00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:11,040 ago. But he was a legend in Northern 289 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:12,000 Ireland. He was a broadcaster. 290 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:16,080 He was kind of like Terry Wogan or, you know, like an evening 291 00:14:16,080 --> 00:14:17,480 entertainment host. On the radio. 292 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:20,960 He was a drummer, A musician, quite famous and a real 293 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:23,280 character and I was lucky enough to meet him several times. 294 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,560 Brilliant guy. And through Steve, who went to 295 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,360 school in Belfast but then had a real connection with Port Rush, 296 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:32,080 I'd end up coming over all the time and became really matey 297 00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:35,120 with Jimmy. Jimmy Nesbitt and Jimmy is but 298 00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,760 as you know is the king of Northern Ireland. 299 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:40,280 So when we came over it just ended up becoming the second 300 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,400 home and I come over at least twice a year, play golf, boat 301 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:47,240 rush, go to the harbour bar, get leathered and in a world of 302 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,440 trouble. And then we I used to live with 303 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:53,120 Martin Compston, the actor and Constant Films Line of Duty in 304 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:56,480 Belle, of course. Yeah, come over and behave in 305 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:59,040 Belfast and he is. I mean, I'm amazed he's allowed 306 00:14:59,040 --> 00:15:01,360 back in the behaviour over the years. 307 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,160 Yeah, he's he's a fantastic lad. And I've got to know these 308 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:06,280 characters. You, you might know them. 309 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:09,160 Actually, Jamie Dornan's got this driver called Dermie. 310 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:14,440 And Dermie, you are a great man. And there's old Nesbitts me, 311 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:16,920 he's a guy called Big Mole who just seems to be a mover and 312 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,040 shaker in Northern Ireland. But I love it. 313 00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:20,960 I just love it. I'd quite happily moved to 314 00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,200 Portrush. I think I quite fancy one. 315 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:30,520 So I I know Jimmy Nez, but like a little like like a little bit. 316 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:35,760 I he was emceeing a charity, a charity do for one of the 317 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:39,560 Ireland rugby boys. And I was there to perform like 318 00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,720 a character, a comedy character piece at it. 319 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,520 And what was supposed to happen is Jimmy was hosting. 320 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,800 I was supposed to come on. And are you familiar with these 321 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,480 like undercover opera singers that are really big at like 322 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:53,280 this? OK, so they had an undercover 323 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:57,440 opera singer he was posing as like the chef at the IT was in 324 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,280 Titanic Belfast. So I was supposed to go on 325 00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:04,000 stage, do my bit as this like snobby middle class character. 326 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:07,280 And then as I walked off the stage, I was supposed to leave 327 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,680 my pint and then demand that the chef who was like just watching 328 00:16:10,680 --> 00:16:13,120 at the side, I suppose the demand, he went and lifted the 329 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:14,400 pint and took it off stage for me. 330 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:18,080 Like, I wouldn't do it myself. Now, I presume that the people 331 00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,520 running this had told Jimmy Nez with the event host about it. 332 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,040 This is the first time I'd met him, so he brought me on. 333 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:26,600 Now, I think it's fair to say Jimmy may have had pints. 334 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:28,840 All right, I'm just going to. I'm just going to put that out 335 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:31,120 there. He may have had a shandy. 336 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:35,240 Now, I finished my set, which, by the way, didn't go great 337 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,720 because I thought everyone, everyone knew Jimmy Dornan was 338 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:39,360 there. I thought everybody knew this 339 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,080 character turns into a room like 400 people. 340 00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,760 It was mainly just Jimmy who did. 341 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:47,760 And so I walked off having offended a load of people and 342 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,200 then I was supposed to do the thing with a pint. 343 00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:52,960 So I walk off, I see the chef. He's like a middle-aged guy that 344 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:55,240 looks very nice. And I was like on the 345 00:16:55,240 --> 00:16:57,200 microphone. I was like, chef, I was like, 346 00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,400 you take my pint there, I'm not taking it. 347 00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,400 No. I thought he was just going to 348 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,800 go no, no, no. And then I'd ask him one more 349 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:06,640 time and he'd go and take it, start saying Messing Dorma. 350 00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:09,800 What happened was I said to him, you take my pint and he's like 351 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,440 no, no, no, we did a 5 minute bit that he never told me we 352 00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:16,880 were going to do where I had to like basically humiliate him and 353 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,680 be like you are going to take it. 354 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,839 Bear in mind nobody knows my character. 355 00:17:20,839 --> 00:17:24,800 So they just think that I am this the most horrible guy and 356 00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:26,680 I'm like, at some point Jimmy that's going to help me out. 357 00:17:26,839 --> 00:17:29,880 Nobody had told Jimmy. So Jimmy ended up going to get 358 00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,200 the pint. This is in front of a silence 359 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,320 room of 400 people. He walked on, get the pint and 360 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:39,040 as he walked past me he said I'll get your fucking pint. 361 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:44,000 Then the guy walks on and goes folks, sorry about that. 362 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:46,200 Then he gives a speech. Then he starts singing. 363 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:49,240 But. So much time had passed that 364 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,800 nobody knew I was in on it. Everyone's like, oh, this chef's 365 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,480 just a great singer. So I made sure that when he 366 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,520 finished and he walked off, he killed it. 367 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,920 Like they loved it. And Jimmy Nest would just give 368 00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:00,560 me dagger. So I made sure that when the guy 369 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:04,080 finished, I walked on stage and put my arm around them and was 370 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,600 like, yeah, you know, we what about us as a Jew? 371 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,920 But it was a horrendous moment and yeah, one of the worst 372 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:11,880 moments in my life, thought Jimmy. 373 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,680 That's what was going to empty me on stage. 374 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,200 But I was horrible when that happens, isn't it? 375 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:19,240 It's a couple of things. Not, not that's painful, but 376 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,760 something like that happened to me, right? 377 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:25,040 One of my biggest heroes in life is, is Daley Thompson, right? 378 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,600 So when I was a little boy, I just, I was obsessed with him. 379 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:30,400 That what I couldn't understand why I wasn't growing like Daley 380 00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,800 Thompson. Remember saying that to my mum. 381 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,000 I just idolise one day when you get older. 382 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,840 He's amazing and I was obsessed. 1984 Olympics in my back garden. 383 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,040 And anyway, I eventually got to meet him at this dinner. 384 00:18:41,040 --> 00:18:42,720 It was at the Institute of Directors in London. 385 00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,560 There's about 2 1/2 thousand people there. 386 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,360 And they sent me next to Daley Thompson. 387 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:52,040 I am, I am chewing his ear like boring on the tears about 388 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,360 computer games, about Carl Lewis, all that kind of stuff. 389 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,480 And then there were 4 speakers that night, Alex Stewart, 390 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,120 Stewart Pierce, Howard Webb, the referee. 391 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,560 And then Daley Thompson was last two and a half thousand people 392 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,760 in the room. So Daley goes up to speak like 393 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,320 huge round of applause. It's a black tie dinner now. 394 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,520 Daley refuses to wear a black tie, right? 395 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,680 So he turns up in his tracksuit. So he walks up on stage, 396 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,800 everyone's applauding him, cheering him, the greatest 397 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,840 Olympian Britain's ever produced or whatever. 398 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,920 And he gets the microphone. He said, look, before we go any 399 00:19:21,920 --> 00:19:24,240 further and do anything, any questions are asked. 400 00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,880 Who arranged the seating plan at this event? 401 00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:29,720 And this guy in a suit puts his hands up in the corner. 402 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,480 He's like, well, I just like to say you're a prick because you 403 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:36,400 sat me next to the most boring man I have ever met in my life. 404 00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,960 Gordon, Smart new son, can you please stand up and see 2 1/2 405 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,240 nights in my house? He's like that guy. 406 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,880 Avoid them. He's so boring. 407 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,960 Honestly, I just I almost went home because he's such a boring 408 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:53,280 prick. Anyway, let's crack on FQ and it 409 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:56,400 sits down, grabs me by a cheek and says everyone knows your 410 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:59,000 name now son. Got it. 411 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,560 Just crushed. Let me ask you what because I 412 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:04,840 mean. I guess for for working for the 413 00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:07,880 Sun, for working in the showbiz industry for so many years, you 414 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,000 must have gone to thousands of award ceremonies. 415 00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:13,720 What is the most apart from your incident with Billy Thompson, 416 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,560 what is the most awkward incident you've ever seen on 417 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:22,000 stage at an award ceremony? I could give you a top ten of 418 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,840 these. It was quite a big staple in my 419 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:26,800 job. The two that spring to mind 420 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,680 right now. Second and 2nd place, I would 421 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:34,160 say the night Russell Brand hosted the Enemy Awards and Bob 422 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:37,640 Geldof had a dig atom. And I think he'd been talking to 423 00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:40,520 Matt Morgan beforehand, like about whether or not they should 424 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,000 unleash the big joke. And because Geldof had a dig 425 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:47,920 atom, he decided to retaliate. And he said there's an ID, you 426 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,600 know, a man who talks about famine, but it's been dining out 427 00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:52,880 on one song for the last 35 years. 428 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,080 I. Mean that it was almost like you 429 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:59,560 say, like he must have written up beforehand because it was 430 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:04,320 like it was too perfect to form. Does a joke, but it was a great 431 00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,840 reply which are like an awkward tet because Bob Geldof seems 432 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,560 like one of those guys that you can't really slag him off 433 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:14,560 because of all that he does for charity and he's up on some sort 434 00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:18,520 of pedestal but it. Called the perfect Jim, what 435 00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,600 Jimmy Carr calls the perfect response, the huge laugh and 436 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:24,960 then oh, afterwards. But my favourite one. 437 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,040 Or save my favourite 1, the most awkward one. 438 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:30,440 It was when James Corden hosted the glamour awards, the glamour 439 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,480 glamour woman of the year awards. 440 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:39,080 And Patrick Stewart was there, the actor Patrick Stewart, John 441 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,120 Luc Picard. However, he was called the Star 442 00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:44,080 Trek huge ESPY and massive name. And he was there with his new 443 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,280 young girlfriend. And I think he had a bit too 444 00:21:46,280 --> 00:21:50,120 much wine and he went and he just, he tried to get a laugh 445 00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:53,960 and tried to be funny, but just basically said James Corden's 446 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,520 fat and not funny. And it was like, and James like 447 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:01,840 he'd been doing really well, but it got some, it really bothered 448 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:03,200 him. And then it just turned into 449 00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:08,760 this sort of 20 minute argument, always brutal and fair play. 450 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,880 James was like, you know, he, he came out with the upper hand. 451 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:15,560 But it just, it was one of them. I wanted to go home and cry. 452 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,000 How did you become showbiz editor for the song? 453 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:24,360 Because when I think of like a showbiz editor, I think of, you 454 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:29,360 know, an older guy with a blazer like Ross King from Good Morning 455 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:32,440 Britain. Seems like, I imagine how every 456 00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:35,600 showbiz editor looks. But you just seem like a guy I 457 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:39,040 would play 5A side with or just like a friend you would 458 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:42,240 socialise with. So was that a natural? 459 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:43,520 Did you just like fall into that? 460 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,160 Or was that very deliberate that that is what you did? 461 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,000 It's a funny one. I've got this habit of being in 462 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,880 the wrong place at the right time or the right place at the 463 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,120 wrong time. I don't know whichever way you 464 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:58,440 want to look at it, but I never, ever thought that I would be the 465 00:22:58,440 --> 00:22:59,760 showbiz editor at The Sun, right? 466 00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:01,440 I was a journalist working in the news. 467 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:04,200 I worked for AI, worked for DC Thompson in Dundee when I was 468 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,560 18. So I worked for the Courier and 469 00:23:05,560 --> 00:23:07,560 even on Telegraph. Went to university, did 470 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,560 journalism, then couldn't get a job in newspapers for loving our 471 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:12,800 money. I ended up working for a press 472 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:15,640 agency after being a football coach, A whiskey taster. 473 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:20,040 I helped Edinburgh University get men to deliver sperm samples 474 00:23:20,040 --> 00:23:22,120 for research. Obviously wasn't involved in 475 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:24,680 the, I wasn't actually involved in the physical side of that, 476 00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:30,040 but I had all sorts of like weird jobs and eventually I 477 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,480 ended up taking a job as a journalist for this agency in 478 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,480 Edinburgh. So I worked for all the papers, 479 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:37,880 you know, from the Daily Sunday Herald. 480 00:23:38,080 --> 00:23:39,120 It was math, it worked for everybody. 481 00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:42,880 It was great experience and MTV Europe came to Edinburgh and I 482 00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:44,600 happened to be working there as a reporter. 483 00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:47,800 Now the lucky part for me was there's a guy I worked with in 484 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,040 Dundee who who was a brilliant character called Derek Brown. 485 00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:53,680 He was working on the bizarre column for Dominic Mohan. 486 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,800 So I managed to meet up with Derek and it was mad because I 487 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:01,720 think everybody was up that day, like Piers Morgan, Rap Singh, 488 00:24:01,720 --> 00:24:06,160 Andy Coulson, Victoria Newton, Ross King, everybody was in 489 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,480 Edinburgh for this big event and I managed to get them all in at 490 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,960 different parties and stuff. And I think the front page story 491 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,000 that came from it was about Justin Timberlake and Kylie 492 00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,920 Minogue getting on. So they were like what are you 493 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,160 doing in there? I come down to London, which was 494 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,240 great because my wife was singing and dancing in the West 495 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:22,640 End. She was in the musical theatre. 496 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:25,080 So I couldn't wait for my chance to run to London. 497 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,520 That was it. And then I just worked harder 498 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:29,840 than everybody else tried to do every shift they could. 499 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,240 Did three weeks on on Bizarre working under Victoria Newton. 500 00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:35,920 Then I did three months of the news the world, which people 501 00:24:35,920 --> 00:24:38,880 would probably be sick all over their their earphones when you 502 00:24:38,880 --> 00:24:41,400 hear that. But you know this, what people 503 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:45,280 forget is the sun and news the world better, better rivals. 504 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,600 So the minute I got offered a job in the bizarre column full 505 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:50,360 time, I was 23. I mean, I never thought I was 506 00:24:50,360 --> 00:24:51,280 going to be a showbiz journalist. 507 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:53,280 I loved music and I was really into sort of, you know, 508 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:56,520 celebrity culture, you know, in terms of film and music and all 509 00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:59,280 that kind of stuff. So grabbed the job and then by 510 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,160 the time I was 26, I was the editor Bizarre. 511 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:03,680 And it was just the best laugh ever. 512 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,480 I had 10 years travelling the world, meeting my heroes cause a 513 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,080 mischief, interviewing people are idolised, falling out with 514 00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:10,440 people I didn't particularly like. 515 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:13,560 But I, you know, I just, Noel Gallagher once said to me, ride 516 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:16,400 it until the wheels come off. And I certainly fucking did 517 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:17,960 that. Like I had a right good go at 518 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,520 it. I mean, I often felt like I 519 00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,200 didn't fit in. I was just waiting for a guy 520 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:24,080 with a clipboard to come up and say, yeah, Gordon, you've had 521 00:25:24,080 --> 00:25:27,440 your fun, now piss off home. And that's how I, that's how I 522 00:25:27,640 --> 00:25:31,280 treated it, you know? Do you think that's why you you 523 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,920 did it for so long and it worked so well for you was because you 524 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:37,160 weren't like everyone else that worked in show? 525 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,720 But you know, you're someone I if, if I was being interviewed, 526 00:25:39,720 --> 00:25:43,720 I would be way more inclined to open, open, open up to you than 527 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:47,640 somebody who you know, is, is more of a like loving, you know, 528 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:51,000 someone who's like a little bit more showbiz, you know, as 529 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:54,840 opposed, as opposed to just a just a completely spot on guy. 530 00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,280 Definitely. I mean, I think the way I tried 531 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:00,080 to do it right when I started on bizarre thought there's another 532 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:03,720 way to do this. You don't have to be, what's the 533 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,560 word I'm looking for adversarial all the time. 534 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,120 You can get on with people and it works for me, right? 535 00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:10,680 Because, you know, obviously at certain times I'd have to 536 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,880 sharpen my my claws and be pretty brutal. 537 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,320 But a lot of the time I had a good relationship with people. 538 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:17,160 So they would tell you things. Obviously they wouldn't tell you 539 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:20,360 the horrific stuff that would sometimes land in your lap, but 540 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,120 I think I had a really good relationship with people across 541 00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:24,760 the piece. I mean, obviously there are folk 542 00:26:24,760 --> 00:26:28,040 who disagree with that spectacularly, but yeah, being 543 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,240 Scottish and you think you'll find the same? 544 00:26:30,240 --> 00:26:33,480 I think Northern Irish people, as soon as I hear that accent, I 545 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,920 just think, oh, brilliant fun and game is a mischief. 546 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:38,880 And yeah, I think being Scottish really, really helped me as 547 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,760 well. Was there ever a time where you 548 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,320 sort of had to do a story you couldn't get out of it on like 549 00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,200 someone who had become a friend was that did that ever happened 550 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,920 where like I don't know if you're uncomfortable giving a 551 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,640 specific example, that's totally understandable. 552 00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:56,000 But did you ever have to do a story that absolutely killed 553 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:56,960 you? Or you're like I? 554 00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:59,640 Really wish all the time. All the time. 555 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:02,680 I'm actually thinking about or hoping to make a documentary 556 00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:06,000 about that at some point where I can sort of go back and knock on 557 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,520 the door and say, look, I'm now a father of two and a father. 558 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,400 And I'm really, really sorry about that because, you know, 559 00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,120 you gotta forget, I was also growing up and maturing while I 560 00:27:15,120 --> 00:27:17,280 was doing that job and culture was very different. 561 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,000 You know, if you still think about the lag lads, mag culture 562 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,160 and the way people behaved, it was so different. 563 00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:24,880 So when you look back on it now, sometimes I just think, oh God, 564 00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:27,560 what a Dick. And I'd love there are people 565 00:27:27,560 --> 00:27:30,040 I'd love to apologise to. But in answer to your question, 566 00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,000 it got to the point where on a daily basis I would find things 567 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,200 out about people who had become friendly with that. 568 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:37,840 I wish I hadn't. I didn't know. 569 00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:40,920 And then it was actually one of the reasons I had to leave in 570 00:27:40,920 --> 00:27:43,040 the end, because I just couldn't. 571 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:46,680 I couldn't sleep at night with things that were being written 572 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,920 about people I actually really got on with. 573 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,440 And that wasn't just in show business, it was in politics, 574 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,000 business. Every other walk of life I just 575 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:56,560 couldn't live. With it, I mean that if it feels 576 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,920 like like no one too much might be a bad thing. 577 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:00,320 Like we talk about award ceremonies. 578 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:03,920 You're probably in a room with hundreds of celebrities and you 579 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:06,880 know something terrible about every single one of them. 580 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,880 Like your brain must be, must be working overtime when you're 581 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,760 chatting to someone in the back of your head, you're like, I 582 00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:15,080 know this thing about you and. And were you? 583 00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:15,880 Yeah. It's the way we work. 584 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,720 It's the way we work. Sorry, go me. 585 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:24,240 Yeah, I was just going to say like do being someone who's like 586 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,200 who's a football fan, who's from Scotland, Did you, I imagine 587 00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:32,040 living in London at the time and in that showbiz world, like was 588 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,760 it very important to get a release of like, yeah, I guess 589 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:37,480 coming over here maybe to the likes of Port ports, your port 590 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:41,840 rush or like going going back to Scotland, did you feel like, did 591 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:45,200 you ever get like too into it as a as a as a world? 592 00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:50,360 Oh, massively. And this is, I mean, listen, 593 00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,160 it's quite an upsetting thing because when you leave a job 594 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,400 like that, it's a really good barometer who your proper 595 00:28:55,400 --> 00:28:58,040 friends are. And you know, your Fairweather 596 00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:00,760 friends evaporate the minute you're not helpful to write 597 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:05,000 about a successful TV series or an amazing career move or if you 598 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:08,400 get them out of trouble. So when you lose that currency, 599 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:10,160 certain people in your life disappear. 600 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:12,000 But it's also a wonderful leveller because you realise who 601 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,120 the good guys are, right, And the good girls are. 602 00:29:14,840 --> 00:29:16,840 But I definitely got wrapped up in it too much. 603 00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:19,640 But you'll be the same as me. You know, you still turn up on a 604 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,760 Tuesday night for a game of fives and your friends tell you 605 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,520 you're a Dick and they don't really give a shit about your 606 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,120 job. And I, I was very fortunate and 607 00:29:27,120 --> 00:29:30,520 all my time in London to have a brilliant set of friends like I 608 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,160 played in this football team, you know, Choppers off Match of 609 00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:36,160 the Day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 610 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:37,920 Yeah, Mark. The Chapters was in Mark 611 00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,120 Chapman. So Chapters was in the team and 612 00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,360 we had this, there were three teams that played for this team 613 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:45,880 called Ibis in the Southern Amateur League in London. 614 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:50,120 And you know, I by that point was probably on borderline 615 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:53,160 Alcoholics, so I wasn't able to play at the level I was used to. 616 00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,320 So playing amateur football was probably the best thing for me 617 00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,200 with my other commitments. But I love being on those lads 618 00:29:58,200 --> 00:30:00,920 and the team seemed to be made-up mainly of people from 619 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:04,440 Hull, which was quite funny. And those boys, just a lot of 620 00:30:04,440 --> 00:30:06,960 them were coppers as well and they just didn't give a shit. 621 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,200 We used to go along to gigs and all the rest of it. 622 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,960 And you know, I loved it because you know, when you, when you're 623 00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,440 hanging around with bands like Kasabian who are from Leicester 624 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,480 or you're at events towards the footballers and you're, you're 625 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:20,240 surrounded by normal lads, it really, really helps because, 626 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,920 you know, hopefully it wasn't starry or too big for my boots. 627 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:27,720 And whenever I was too big for my boots and it did happen, Mum, 628 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,480 I'd go home and my missus from Dunferman and she'd just say 629 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,560 you're being a total helmet, get a good pay yourself. 630 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:35,600 And that that I would that would sort you out, you know? 631 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:44,080 Did who's who's one person you, you met that that like, you 632 00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,560 know, totally burst your bubble, someone you're really excited to 633 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:50,800 meet and then the reality of it wasn't as as good as you thought 634 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:54,120 it was going to be. It's funny, I get asked, I get 635 00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,600 asked that quite a lot, and I always think I need to spend 636 00:30:56,600 --> 00:31:00,080 more time thinking about a good answer for it because I It's 637 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,480 funny how your brain works. You tend to remember people who 638 00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:06,120 have actually exceeded your expectations and really made a 639 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:08,360 mark in you and left a wonderful first impression. 640 00:31:09,000 --> 00:31:10,240 No worries. No worries. 641 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:11,000 Thanks. Thanks. 642 00:31:11,240 --> 00:31:12,760 You're one of those fellows. Yes, actually. 643 00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,160 Tell you. Tell you who is. 644 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:15,800 Jamie Dornan is one of the greats. 645 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,360 What a brilliant human being. I just think he's wonderful. 646 00:31:19,360 --> 00:31:22,280 I felt bit embarrassed. I'd never seen The Fall, and 647 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:23,880 I've only watched it after knowing him. 648 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,800 And now when we have sex next time, it's going to be so weird. 649 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,240 I always wondered why. Yeah, me and me and Jamie 650 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,120 Dornan, you know, the next time we Make Love. 651 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:35,160 I always wondered why he painted my nails, but no, the people who 652 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:38,320 have let me down or behaved appallingly towards me tend to 653 00:31:38,320 --> 00:31:43,640 be hip hop artists. Yeah, I really, I mean, I hope I 654 00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:46,400 can use this kind of violent language, but I was quite 655 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:48,320 tempted. The glass peed the day one day 656 00:31:50,960 --> 00:31:54,120 because he got out of the car to do this interview and I shook 657 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:56,840 his hand and he just said before we do anything, I want to tell 658 00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:01,040 you I'm not in the fucking mood. I know this hit not accent. 659 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,840 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to remember, like I'm 660 00:32:04,840 --> 00:32:07,480 trying to suppress all my Scottish instincts at this point 661 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,160 to say we'll get back in the fucking car then and don't waste 662 00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:13,200 my time. And it's like the older I got 663 00:32:13,320 --> 00:32:16,200 that, like I did do that on occasion, you know, when you 664 00:32:16,240 --> 00:32:18,160 just tell people, you know, you're actually, you're being a 665 00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,840 total prick. And that happened on a number of 666 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:24,120 occasions. Like Robbie Williams and I have 667 00:32:24,120 --> 00:32:29,160 exchanged quite a few punches, tariffs words over over a time, 668 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:31,520 but actually quite like Robbie and he won me over in the end. 669 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:34,400 But I mean, some mad stories like who? 670 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,120 I mean hip hop stars like you say he did, he was bad. 671 00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:43,280 Who else has been really? I mean, there's a lot of sad 672 00:32:43,280 --> 00:32:44,880 stories as well. Like, I interviewed Whitney 673 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:50,160 Houston and she just, her nose was dripping on my notepad 674 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,320 because she was so banjoed on narcotics, you know? 675 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:58,360 And I just felt so upset that this idol of music was in such a 676 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:00,960 bad way. And like, I was quite close to 677 00:33:00,960 --> 00:33:03,400 Amy Winehouse as well. You know, I really, really 678 00:33:03,520 --> 00:33:07,720 liked, respected and loved Amy but had to write all sorts of 679 00:33:07,840 --> 00:33:10,120 dreadful stuff about her, which I hated. 680 00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,720 And I remember sitting in we had this thing called morning 681 00:33:12,720 --> 00:33:14,840 conference in newspapers where you explain your stories of the 682 00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:18,040 day to the editor. And I can think of at least ten 683 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,440 occasions where I said, this is hard to tell everybody, but I 684 00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,440 think Amy's going to die at some point because the life she's 685 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:26,680 leading, she doesn't have the frame to cope with it. 686 00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:31,560 And, you know, I still regret not being able to play more of a 687 00:33:31,560 --> 00:33:35,480 meaningful part in her her life because, you know, I can't 688 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:37,600 imagine what was written about or helped her in any way. 689 00:33:37,600 --> 00:33:40,440 And, you know, the stuff like that, that, you know, I live 690 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,720 with me for a long, long time. But it used to hurt, you know, 691 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,960 when you're asking people who I I remember Amy before she had a 692 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:50,320 tattoo write and she was, you know, quite a big role. 693 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:51,680 She was a journalist at the time. 694 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:56,120 And then to see, you know, what happened to her, I sat once and 695 00:33:56,120 --> 00:33:59,480 tried to interview her in a hotel in London and she couldn't 696 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,880 speak. So that was quite upsetting in a 697 00:34:01,880 --> 00:34:04,000 different way. But like to try and keep us more 698 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:07,440 upbeat and happy and fun. She generally speaking hip hop 699 00:34:07,440 --> 00:34:11,440 stars were bell ends. The one of the only bad 700 00:34:11,440 --> 00:34:14,840 experiences I've ever had meeting a celebrity was I was 701 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:18,520 doing warm up for ABBC show and Spandau Ballet. 702 00:34:18,520 --> 00:34:23,520 We're on as guests and Tony Hadley met Tony Hadley Baxter. 703 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:27,320 I'm not someone who like if there's like celebrity guests 704 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:29,400 about the set, I'm not going to go up and bother them. 705 00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,920 I'm not going to, you know, even really introduce myself unless 706 00:34:32,920 --> 00:34:34,679 there is a natural time to do that. 707 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,080 But good chatting to Tony Hadley in the makeup room, the nicest 708 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,400 guy of all time. Like, he is good friends with 709 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:43,920 Tim Vines. So he's chatting to me about 710 00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:48,600 stand up and was like, seemed relatively interested in what I 711 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,800 was doing. And then I walked past Martin 712 00:34:51,800 --> 00:34:54,960 Kemp in the corridor. And when I said that guy gave me 713 00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:58,440 the cold shoulder, not all I did was like a very probably 714 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,320 Northern Irish thing, probably very Scottish thing. 715 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,840 If we pass each other in the corridor, there's no one around. 716 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:05,080 I'm just going to say hello as we go past. 717 00:35:05,680 --> 00:35:08,080 I didn't want to shake his hand. I didn't want a conversation. 718 00:35:08,080 --> 00:35:12,040 I just was like, how are you? And he, like, gave me like a bit 719 00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,120 of a like, why are you talking to me? 720 00:35:14,120 --> 00:35:16,960 Look, and just continue to walk. And since then, I've been 721 00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:18,480 obsessed with bringing down Martin Kemp. 722 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,280 So if you know anything about Martin Kemp, let's get it out 723 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:22,600 there and let's cancel Martin Kemp. 724 00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:26,760 He's always been lovely to me. I see. 725 00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:29,600 But yeah, it's just maybe it's because it sounded like 726 00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,960 sometimes the Belfast accent, it falls in one of two ways. 727 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:36,240 It's either like, really terrifying or wonderfully 728 00:35:36,240 --> 00:35:37,760 friendly. And I think if you just walk 729 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:41,720 past the moment about, Gee, who's that guy? 730 00:35:41,720 --> 00:35:44,240 But you know, it's a great thing. 731 00:35:44,240 --> 00:35:46,240 I'm really interested in it. Like, you know, I've had a 732 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:48,680 couple of horrible first encounters. 733 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,920 Like I met for the first time, I met Liam Gallagher. 734 00:35:50,920 --> 00:35:54,280 It was a John Squire from a Stone Roses exhibition. 735 00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:58,440 He had this art exhibition in London and he, Liam, sort of, he 736 00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,800 doesn't walk. Like, I wouldn't even call it a 737 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:04,040 swagger. It's like a kind of a Weeble. 738 00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:05,600 Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. 739 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:08,720 Actually the wad that was over and he's like all right. 740 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,600 And I was like hello? And he said you're mates with 741 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:17,000 Aki and I was like aye, aye. And he went as far as I'm 742 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:18,800 concerned, you're a cunt in an ice cult. 743 00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:21,880 And I was like, I'm I'm all right with that. 744 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:23,800 I. Mean that would be my Twitter 745 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,840 bio. If I read I might change it. 746 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,840 You're right. But a nice coat, I mean, yeah. 747 00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:32,360 Nice coat it. Evens itself out. 748 00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:34,880 No, I used to get a quite a lot. It's like you're a cunt from the 749 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,200 sun. I mean, in Scotland a cunt from 750 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:40,160 the sun and in London it was a prick from the sun. 751 00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:42,920 Northwest, you're like that fuck whip from the sun. 752 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:45,440 Are they that? Yeah, anyway, you get the 753 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:46,400 feeling. Yeah, the picture. 754 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:49,760 Did you ever get into like any personal hairy moments where 755 00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:53,720 somebody, somebody would sort of take take exception to who you 756 00:36:53,720 --> 00:36:56,240 work for? Like, obviously, you know, I'm 757 00:36:56,240 --> 00:36:58,920 sure you've got stuff online or letters, but do you ever get 758 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:01,280 into like a personal thing when you write like out for a beer 759 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:03,000 one night or or anytime you felt like? 760 00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:05,920 Yeah, it's a good, really good question actually, Shane, 761 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:08,680 because it used to happen a lot. And again, I think probably 762 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:10,920 because where we come from and the way we were brought up, you 763 00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,320 know, I wouldn't just walk away or run away when somebody 764 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,680 confronted me because it always like, try and get to the bottom 765 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,440 of it or try and disprove what they thought of you. 766 00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:20,000 Because I think generally speaking, people expect me 767 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,560 because I work from a tabloid newspaper to have horns and be 768 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,280 the devil. And, you know, sometimes it's 769 00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,760 worth spending that time to go look, I totally understand where 770 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,640 you're coming from, but you've got to understand why I work 771 00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:33,840 there and why I do this job. And it used to quite often get 772 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:36,120 me in real scrapes. So I remember once in a pub in 773 00:37:36,120 --> 00:37:38,160 London. There's a very loose connection 774 00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:41,000 to you in this story, actually. Did you not work with, did you 775 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,480 not work with Stephen Nolan at one point? 776 00:37:42,800 --> 00:37:45,920 That's so when I was talking about the the TV show The wall 777 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:49,040 for it was Nolan show, but I again forget that you know more 778 00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:50,040 about Northern Ireland than I do. 779 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:51,800 So I was like, I'm not going to mention Nolan because you won't 780 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:54,240 know who Nolan is and it's mad to me that you know Nolan. 781 00:37:54,240 --> 00:37:57,320 So yes, it was Nolan live. Great broadcast, I think. 782 00:37:57,320 --> 00:37:58,880 I think he's a very talented man in there. 783 00:37:59,280 --> 00:38:02,160 So so I walked into this pub in London, right? 784 00:38:02,360 --> 00:38:06,120 And it was a leave and do for a me in my and we're having a 785 00:38:06,120 --> 00:38:09,840 drink and I go to the toilet and this Skinhead fella, like 786 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:14,000 classic South London Hardman Millwall fan covered in tattoos, 787 00:38:14,840 --> 00:38:18,400 grabs me by the the collar and he's like, you're that fucking 788 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:20,320 prick from the sun, aren't you? And I was like, yeah, I mean, 789 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,000 that's that jock prick from the sun. 790 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,080 And I'm like, yeah, that's me. And he said, how do you sleep at 791 00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:30,120 night? Well, all the people in this pub 792 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,920 are paying for your junkie family's prescriptions north of 793 00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,880 the border. Scotland's being subsidised by 794 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:38,480 the hard working people of England. 795 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:40,960 It's about time you got fucked off. 796 00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:46,480 And actually like for five seconds I'm like, wow, like, is 797 00:38:46,480 --> 00:38:49,280 that really what you think? And I don't know where it came 798 00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,520 from, but I immediately just fired, stood up tall and just 799 00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:54,560 said, well, you don't mind when we're spilling our blood for you 800 00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,520 in Afghanistan, do you pricking out the way? 801 00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,240 And I just felt this wallet when they're like he's chimney, 802 00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:02,440 right? I've gone into like I've got 803 00:39:02,440 --> 00:39:04,200 away from him. I've got in the toilet and I'm 804 00:39:04,200 --> 00:39:06,360 like, shit, like I'm out my debt fear, right? 805 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,880 I'm going to get hiding because you know, he probably got the 806 00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:10,240 better of me. I'm younger than him. 807 00:39:10,240 --> 00:39:13,280 He's definitely harder. And I've got into the toilet, 808 00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,880 gone into the disabled toilet, locked the door and I've text 809 00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:21,720 another lad outside and who is an ex squaddy from Paisley and I 810 00:39:21,720 --> 00:39:24,960 said I might need a help. I'm in the toilet. 811 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:29,240 And then the next thing I went outside and anyway, my ex squad, 812 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:33,040 the Paisley lunatic managed to have a little word in his ear. 813 00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:36,160 But this Nolan connection is I'd forgotten that I was doing an 814 00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:39,520 interview on Five Live about two minutes later. 815 00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:43,680 So I'm like bleeding from the ear and the nose and Nolan rings 816 00:39:43,680 --> 00:39:46,240 me a massively out of breath. I'd love to hear the interview 817 00:39:46,240 --> 00:39:48,800 back because I'm shitting it. So I'm thinking I'm about to get 818 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:52,320 lynched. I'm on live on five lives having 819 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:54,600 this bladder over there, Nolan. And I'm just think I don't know 820 00:39:54,600 --> 00:39:57,440 what I said in that interview, but what I really want to say is 821 00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,440 I'm going to have to go because I'm about to be arrested. 822 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:04,000 So genuinely, I thought what you're about to say is some like 823 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,800 Skinhead Millwall Limited, but you up in a pub in London, you 824 00:40:06,800 --> 00:40:09,040 phone Nolan and he came in and just cleaned house. 825 00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,640 And that is in my head what happened. 826 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:14,440 And I'm going to keep, I'm going to keep that genuinely. 827 00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:17,600 I will try and get that interview for you. 828 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:20,960 I'll try and use the big BBC Radio Wolster connections and 829 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:22,640 we'll see if we'll see if we can get that. 830 00:40:23,600 --> 00:40:26,440 But yeah, I mean, that's it's the same kind of in a way. 831 00:40:26,880 --> 00:40:28,240 I'm not a violent thing like that. 832 00:40:28,240 --> 00:40:31,560 But with comedy where people think you're a certain way based 833 00:40:31,560 --> 00:40:35,240 on characters you play. And I guess you weren't you 834 00:40:35,240 --> 00:40:36,360 weren't playing a character, obviously. 835 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,800 But when you're a showbiz editor, you have to do things 836 00:40:38,800 --> 00:40:42,840 that aren't really in your nature, like, you know, exposes 837 00:40:42,840 --> 00:40:45,520 on people things that you, you know, you don't want to do. 838 00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:48,560 And with stand up, you have never had anybody be violent 839 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:51,120 towards me. But I definitely have had to 840 00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:55,080 like diffuse and walk away from things where people just have an 841 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:56,560 upset. Like, you'd be amazed. 842 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:59,600 Sometimes people can go from tell us a joke in a bar, you 843 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:02,080 know, when you're just having a drink in a bar to like being 844 00:41:02,080 --> 00:41:03,400 really threatening, you know, guys. 845 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:06,040 Yeah, I forget it. Yeah, I totally understand. 846 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,520 And people also think they can say whatever they like to you 847 00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:12,080 without any kind of recourse. And it it happens quite a lot in 848 00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,040 the world now where people seem to have this get out clause of 849 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:17,960 just finishing off by saying I'm just saying. 850 00:41:18,920 --> 00:41:20,880 Yeah, yeah. Actually, no, you're not just 851 00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:22,600 saying you're, you're being incredibly rude. 852 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:26,080 And I hear it all the time in in company and I'm really conscious 853 00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,120 and really aware of it now. It's like if ever you're in a 854 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,080 room and somebody meets an accountant, they go, oh, you 855 00:41:30,080 --> 00:41:32,880 must be boring in a bean counter or my brother's a dentist, 856 00:41:32,880 --> 00:41:33,960 right? My brother's a dentist. 857 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,560 You should hear what people say to him. 858 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:40,080 You know, he's probably the most gentle, kind, generous, skint 859 00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:43,400 human being I know, and everyone just assumes he's a money 860 00:41:43,400 --> 00:41:46,400 grabbing a evil man and I can't stand that. 861 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:48,560 Comedy is the same. You know, I've got to know a lot 862 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:52,720 of comedians over the years, and the people behind the Tears of 863 00:41:52,720 --> 00:41:54,640 the Clown are very, very different. 864 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:57,880 You know, well, I think that's the thing of you'd be amazed at 865 00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:01,040 how many comedians aren't always on, you know, whenever you meet 866 00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:05,440 them in a bar or, you know, if you and I are having a chat, you 867 00:42:05,440 --> 00:42:08,400 know, I don't need to try and make you laugh every second, you 868 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,480 know, because when you're on stage, that's what you do. 869 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:13,640 But I think a lot of the time, comedians on, myself included, 870 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,800 we're always like, in a way, keen to like impress came to be 871 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:18,200 seen as the funniest people in the room. 872 00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,680 But you just, you can't keep that up. 873 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:24,080 And that's what people when they sort of tell us a joke and they 874 00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,640 get a little bit of aggressive, they think you're just all we 875 00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,600 always on. And obviously that's that's not 876 00:42:29,600 --> 00:42:31,920 the case when you're like just relaxing with friends. 877 00:42:32,320 --> 00:42:36,040 And so whenever you whenever you left the the song, whenever you 878 00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:40,480 sort of got out of like you stopped your did you stop 879 00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:42,240 journalism at that point? Is that when you went straight 880 00:42:42,240 --> 00:42:44,800 into broadcasting? Yeah, it was really tough 881 00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,880 actually because I mean, when I left the Sun, I was deputy 882 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:51,080 editor in London, right? I did about a year back in 883 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:52,840 London. Before that I was there to tell 884 00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:56,440 the Scottish Sun for about 3 years and I'd been thinking for 885 00:42:56,440 --> 00:42:59,640 a long time that I wasn't coping very well with the job. 886 00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:01,880 But all the fun ended when I left. 887 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,720 Bizarre. And pretty much overnight I went 888 00:43:04,720 --> 00:43:09,160 from having a carry on and being being out all the time doing a 889 00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:13,240 job I loved to being an editor of a paper during a referendum 890 00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,560 in Scotland and the mood just changed spectacularly. 891 00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:20,120 And is this straight, this odd transition in journalism where 892 00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:24,200 you go from being a reporter or a writer to being a boss and 893 00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,080 suddenly I had 150 staff or whatever it was in Glasgow and 894 00:43:28,080 --> 00:43:31,080 the fun just stopped. I didn't enjoy that as much. 895 00:43:31,080 --> 00:43:35,000 And you know, I kept being told by people further up the 896 00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:37,160 business, there's time for you to put your suit on and grow up, 897 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:38,840 son. And, you know, one day you'll be 898 00:43:38,840 --> 00:43:40,880 the editor of the paper or you'll be this or that. 899 00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:44,320 And I didn't, I realised to me about a time I didn't actually 900 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,720 want to do that because you ultimately have to make people 901 00:43:46,720 --> 00:43:48,720 redundant. You are responsible for all 902 00:43:48,720 --> 00:43:51,440 those terrible mistakes. Even if you're not to blame, you 903 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,360 are ultimately responsible. And I just found it really 904 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,320 uncomfortable. And it, it was getting loaded 905 00:43:56,320 --> 00:43:58,920 and loaded in my head. The criticism of the, the 906 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,200 journalism in the paper and, you know, allegations of racism and 907 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,200 misogyny. And but I've got to remember as 908 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,160 well, I've been through the Leveson Inquiry, 3 criminal 909 00:44:07,160 --> 00:44:10,280 inquiries. And so it was, you know, a very 910 00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:15,000 fast growing up period and the fun, it just gradually ran out. 911 00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:19,720 But what I've been doing since about 2011 was working on XFM. 912 00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:22,680 So I had a show there for about 2 1/2 years doing a lot of telly 913 00:44:22,680 --> 00:44:24,280 as well. So I was on the extra factor. 914 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,960 I did ACDS with Dave Berry and I was really loved and all of that 915 00:44:27,960 --> 00:44:31,160 stuff. But I had this constant problem 916 00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:34,960 with people just assuming you were a tabloid monster and 917 00:44:34,960 --> 00:44:37,120 everyone was just scared of you, which I found quite odd. 918 00:44:37,120 --> 00:44:38,760 It's like, why are people scared of me? 919 00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:45,040 You know they are not. Eventually I call it take brave 920 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:46,920 pill. I had to and it took a lot of 921 00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:49,240 time for me to pluck up the courage because also 922 00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:51,400 financially, I don't think people really understand you. 923 00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:53,080 By the time you're a deputy editor, the biggest paper in the 924 00:44:53,080 --> 00:44:56,240 country, you've got certain perks like wonderful expenses, a 925 00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:59,240 great salary, one term incentive bonuses, other bonuses built in. 926 00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:03,160 So it was like walking away from financial security. 927 00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:04,960 I had brilliant healthcare and all that. 928 00:45:05,280 --> 00:45:07,960 To suddenly pack that in to be the evening show host on an 929 00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,560 indie music station. It was a bit of a gamble, you 930 00:45:10,560 --> 00:45:12,040 know? But I just worked out the 931 00:45:12,040 --> 00:45:13,920 equation. Like, what price? 932 00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:15,640 And it's something a lot of people should think about. 933 00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:18,200 What price do you put on your happiness? 934 00:45:18,680 --> 00:45:22,240 And I could just see myself like, dying at 50 as an 935 00:45:22,240 --> 00:45:25,400 alcoholic with a broken marriage and weighed up the things that 936 00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:27,840 were important to me, like my mates, my wife, my kids. 937 00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:31,720 Like, you know, I hated walking into a pub and people I really 938 00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:34,880 liked just thinking, oh, you're that Dick working for that evil 939 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,240 rag. And I just couldn't handle it. 940 00:45:37,240 --> 00:45:39,080 I mean, I'm not embarrassed to admit it. 941 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,680 I really, really struggled with that because as much as you like 942 00:45:41,680 --> 00:45:45,440 to say you've got the Piers Morgan rhino's arse skin and, 943 00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,880 you know, you can cope with criticism, I found it really 944 00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,400 hard. And especially when there's 945 00:45:49,400 --> 00:45:51,360 people you really respect and admire. 946 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,560 I mean, I should think they're probably Dicks for being so 947 00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,960 judgmental about me, but it still bothers me now, you know, 948 00:45:56,960 --> 00:46:00,840 I'm still four or five years on trying to sort of tell people 949 00:46:01,120 --> 00:46:03,560 I'm not that guy from the Sun. And please don't judge you based 950 00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,800 on your profession. But then at the same time, I 951 00:46:05,800 --> 00:46:07,680 probably upset a lot of people in my time there. 952 00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:10,520 There is a certain part of me that has to serve my penance for 953 00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:14,480 those crimes. I'd say it was very, very like 954 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:19,680 liberating to go to XFM, especially because XFM was such 955 00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:23,480 a cool station. And I know it became Radio X, 956 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:26,560 but it was a a station. I was very, very jealous that we 957 00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:29,320 didn't get here. You get it online, But you know, 958 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:34,920 Ricky Gervais was on was on was on Russell Brand and it it, it 959 00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:36,960 just seemed like a great place to be. 960 00:46:36,960 --> 00:46:42,320 And yeah, I mean, it's was it, I'd say I'd be mad to go from 961 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:45,680 like, especially when you're OK, when you're, you're a showbiz 962 00:46:45,680 --> 00:46:48,520 editor, you're working every hour of the day. 963 00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:51,280 But whenever you go to them, being just editor of the 964 00:46:51,280 --> 00:46:53,560 Scottish Song, your phone just doesn't stop. 965 00:46:53,560 --> 00:46:57,040 And like you say, you're probably dealing with subject 966 00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,560 matter that you never were dealing with before, and that's 967 00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,960 got to stay with you. But to me, you don't seem like 968 00:47:04,280 --> 00:47:05,880 best possible way. You don't seem like a 969 00:47:05,880 --> 00:47:07,440 journalist. You know, you don't. 970 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:11,280 I've met journalists whenever they're I've met journalists 971 00:47:11,280 --> 00:47:13,840 when they're off duty and they're still in journalist 972 00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:15,520 mode. You can tell they still want to 973 00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:19,560 not get something out of you, but but the, their mind works in 974 00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:22,080 a way where they're almost too inquisitive. 975 00:47:22,080 --> 00:47:25,760 If, if that makes sense. And then I'd say it was a it was 976 00:47:25,760 --> 00:47:28,280 a fascinating thing to do. And you know, you're talking 977 00:47:28,280 --> 00:47:30,960 about making a documentary about, you know, going back to 978 00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:34,240 speak to people, but you, there's, there's some sort of 979 00:47:34,240 --> 00:47:37,400 script and the fact that, you know, especially you were so 980 00:47:37,400 --> 00:47:41,560 young in that job and, and you know, like you say, you, you 981 00:47:41,560 --> 00:47:46,360 totally stepped away from it. I want to ask you while it's in 982 00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:50,760 my head, there is a story that I read recently involving 2 983 00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:53,040 Scottish guys. I don't know if you ever had any 984 00:47:53,040 --> 00:47:56,920 involvement with it back in the day, but they pretended to be 985 00:47:56,920 --> 00:48:03,200 American rappers and they were on TV and they got a record 986 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:05,640 deal. And do you know the? 987 00:48:05,640 --> 00:48:07,280 Story. It rings a bell. 988 00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,040 Yeah. There's something in the back of 989 00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:13,760 my mind. Two young Scottish fellows who 990 00:48:13,760 --> 00:48:17,400 were in uni together and loved rap music and they would rap in 991 00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:21,280 their Scottish accents, but they they were not taken seriously 992 00:48:21,280 --> 00:48:23,160 anywhere, but they were very, very good. 993 00:48:23,560 --> 00:48:26,440 And one day, like after a few drinks, they were like, should 994 00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:29,600 we just rap in American accents and pretend that we're American? 995 00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:34,560 They did warm up for, I don't think it was Public Enemy, but 996 00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:38,560 it was somebody massive in like it wouldn't have been the O2 in 997 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:40,800 London at that point. This was this was like the early 998 00:48:40,800 --> 00:48:44,920 90s, maybe late 90s and they got a record deal. 999 00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:48,200 They recorded either an EP or a full album. 1000 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,840 And we're just getting away with it. 1001 00:48:51,040 --> 00:48:53,880 They were they would do like press interviews in full 1002 00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:57,440 American accents, but they were just two young Scottish guys. 1003 00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,840 And eventually they got rumbled because I'm nearly sure Sony was 1004 00:49:00,840 --> 00:49:04,920 the label they were signed to. Sony's lawyer was like, we know 1005 00:49:04,920 --> 00:49:06,440 all about you have done background cheques. 1006 00:49:06,840 --> 00:49:10,120 And I remember reading that recently that article and being 1007 00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:12,120 like that is very, very, very cool. 1008 00:49:12,480 --> 00:49:15,720 But I remember thinking, I'd love to see that as some sort of 1009 00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:17,960 screenplay. But but it sounds like you're 1010 00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:22,000 you're you know, your time working, working with the sun 1011 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:23,640 and and everything that happened around it. 1012 00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:26,960 That that sounds like a screenplay in itself or yeah. 1013 00:49:28,160 --> 00:49:31,560 I had a great colleague, A producer called Joe Attiwell at 1014 00:49:31,560 --> 00:49:35,880 Radio X and he was an actor and he suggested, you know, I'd been 1015 00:49:35,880 --> 00:49:38,400 telling him stories about my time in the paper and he said it 1016 00:49:38,400 --> 00:49:42,720 would make an amazed worst day of my because I kept telling him 1017 00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:44,200 what he's gonna fall off his stay with horror. 1018 00:49:44,200 --> 00:49:47,160 Like I remember 1 when I was at the Scottish paper, I'd wrongly 1019 00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:48,840 identified I'm murderer on Page 1. 1020 00:49:49,600 --> 00:49:52,720 I think the last, the last e-mail before I left the night 1021 00:49:52,720 --> 00:49:55,840 before was I want to hear from every head of department 1022 00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:59,400 unequivocally with full confidence that this is 1023 00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:03,280 absolutely our man because there's something niggling me 1024 00:50:03,280 --> 00:50:05,320 about it. And they all came back saying, 1025 00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:07,880 Yep, this is the right guy. This is the right guy. 6 O clock 1026 00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:11,800 the next morning, I get woken by a phone call from the person on 1027 00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:15,240 page one saying, why have you got a picture of me on page one 1028 00:50:15,240 --> 00:50:18,120 of the paper? And it turns out he was a law 1029 00:50:18,120 --> 00:50:21,920 student, so and he's seen the paper because his parents, I 1030 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:24,440 think they were news agents. I remember putting the phone 1031 00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:28,560 down and saying to my wife, this is this is it, you know, this is 1032 00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:31,480 the mistake that's going to cost me my job or my career. 1033 00:50:31,880 --> 00:50:34,840 But by that point, I was getting to the point where I was going 1034 00:50:34,840 --> 00:50:37,480 to bed and I thinking, what is in the paper tomorrow that I'm 1035 00:50:37,480 --> 00:50:40,120 going to end up in court over. And it wasn't just things like 1036 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:42,400 that. You know, I I without going into 1037 00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,400 detail because I just, it's not worth the trouble, trouble with 1038 00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:48,280 gangsters and all sorts of threats. 1039 00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:50,640 And man, I gotta remember, right? 1040 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:53,200 You're 32 now, are you? Yeah, right. 1041 00:50:53,440 --> 00:50:56,680 So I was 32 years old. Edit in the Scottish paper with 1042 00:50:57,240 --> 00:51:03,240 a three-week old baby and a three-year old son commuting an 1043 00:51:03,240 --> 00:51:07,040 hour every day from Perth to Glasgow with A and by the way, 1044 00:51:07,080 --> 00:51:09,160 it was a colourful group of staff in Glasgow. 1045 00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:12,040 People are loved dearly, you know, but they were quite 1046 00:51:12,040 --> 00:51:14,920 difficult folks to work with. And you're suddenly this young 1047 00:51:14,920 --> 00:51:17,880 lad who's been in London having the time of his life, standing 1048 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:20,480 up on a desk in front of them all saying right, let's let's 1049 00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,040 get busy. And I think in the first month I 1050 00:51:22,040 --> 00:51:23,600 saw the helicopter crash in Glasgow. 1051 00:51:23,600 --> 00:51:26,680 It was one of the few witnesses, like you say, the referendum was 1052 00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:28,120 happening. So I was getting followed home 1053 00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:31,480 by yes and no campaigners. I was getting abuse from a post 1054 00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:33,160 day about the stuff that was in the paper. 1055 00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,480 I was going to the pub and getting attacked because of 1056 00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:38,360 things that had happened in the history of the paper by people 1057 00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:42,200 who had known since 1983. And in the end there are a 1058 00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,440 couple of times I said to them, this is like, I'd have like I'd 1059 00:51:45,440 --> 00:51:50,120 hit the self destruct button and just get so absolutely leathered 1060 00:51:50,160 --> 00:51:53,440 that I realised I I need to do something about this because 1061 00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:54,720 it's not going to end well, you know? 1062 00:51:54,920 --> 00:51:59,760 Yeah, yeah, I mean, especially Jesus at my age, like I still, 1063 00:51:59,760 --> 00:52:02,800 I'm 32, but I still think if if you if I didn't think about it, 1064 00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:04,600 I'm like, oh, I'm, I'm in my early 20s. 1065 00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:06,560 I don't think of myself as a 32 year old guy. 1066 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:10,800 So that level of, of responsibility and yeah, I mean, 1067 00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:14,880 it must be beautiful to in a way have, have all the all, all that 1068 00:52:14,880 --> 00:52:18,000 experience, all that life experience, but kind of be away 1069 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:19,520 from that, from that world. Now. 1070 00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:23,200 Is there anything you want to do at the minute? 1071 00:52:23,200 --> 00:52:27,480 Like is there, is there like a a big project you have always had 1072 00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:31,120 in the back of your mind or something like you you want to a 1073 00:52:31,120 --> 00:52:32,960 curiosity that you want to check off? 1074 00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:36,000 It's a really funny time in my life actually, Sharon, I'm glad 1075 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,480 you asked about it because I've obviously had 5-6 months at home 1076 00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:42,360 just thinking about life, right? And then I turned 40 in March in 1077 00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:45,520 lockdown, I think it was 3 weeks in lockdown. 1078 00:52:45,960 --> 00:52:49,120 And you know, the existential crisis just started raging 1079 00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:50,440 through me. You know, I was like, what am I 1080 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:53,080 going to do? Because I've just left Radio X, 1081 00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:54,880 right? You know, COVID, cutbacks, tough 1082 00:52:54,880 --> 00:52:58,760 times, I didn't see it coming, you know, because, you know, I 1083 00:52:58,760 --> 00:53:01,160 just thought that I'd sign a new deal and continue there. 1084 00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:03,880 But I'm fortunate enough, I've got a lot of other interests in 1085 00:53:03,880 --> 00:53:05,560 my life. So, you know, things that aren't 1086 00:53:05,560 --> 00:53:08,360 particularly public. Like I do a lot of crisis 1087 00:53:08,360 --> 00:53:10,760 management behind the scenes for troubled famous people. 1088 00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:13,640 I also do a bit of mentoring for young talent. 1089 00:53:13,640 --> 00:53:16,880 So young sportsmen in particular and young musicians who are kind 1090 00:53:16,880 --> 00:53:20,240 of becoming very famous and need some tools to equip themselves 1091 00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:23,400 how to handle that. And I really, really enjoy doing 1092 00:53:23,400 --> 00:53:25,480 it. And the crisis management stuff, 1093 00:53:26,120 --> 00:53:28,880 it's quite interesting because you know, you, it's classic 1094 00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:31,480 portrait on gamekeeper when somebody's in the depths of 1095 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:33,640 despair and you can just put a comfort and arm around them and 1096 00:53:33,640 --> 00:53:36,000 say, look, don't worry about this, we'll get you through it. 1097 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:37,040 And here's how we're going to do it. 1098 00:53:37,320 --> 00:53:39,880 And I've been doing that with some very high profile people. 1099 00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:42,200 And it's, it's great to see that some of the experiences I've got 1100 00:53:42,200 --> 00:53:44,960 over the last 20 years are coming back to help me. 1101 00:53:45,280 --> 00:53:47,600 I also have a share in a whiskey called Copper Dog. 1102 00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:51,480 And I really enjoy doing that, you know, working, selling 1103 00:53:51,480 --> 00:53:54,120 whiskey around the world, which is really exciting. 1104 00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:56,040 I mean, we've been hit hard by code again. 1105 00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:58,400 Like we sell most of our ski and airports. 1106 00:53:58,800 --> 00:54:02,440 So that's been a battle of laughs and during the last six 1107 00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:03,840 months. But it's coming back together 1108 00:54:03,840 --> 00:54:05,320 now. So that that's going OK. 1109 00:54:05,720 --> 00:54:10,120 But what I don't know what I'd love to do really is I'd love to 1110 00:54:10,120 --> 00:54:12,800 get, you know, I want, I want to do something meaningful on 1111 00:54:12,800 --> 00:54:14,400 radio. You know, I'd love to replace 1112 00:54:14,400 --> 00:54:16,880 Ken Bruce when he finally hangs up his microphone. 1113 00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:20,320 I think that job is fantastic. Radio to 10:00 in the morning. 1114 00:54:20,760 --> 00:54:23,520 A comforting, welcoming Scottish voice. 1115 00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:27,520 But Gavin Kimbruce is an absolute legend and brilliant on 1116 00:54:27,520 --> 00:54:29,520 the radio. But I mean, other stuff. 1117 00:54:29,560 --> 00:54:32,840 I've got really serious grown up ideas, right? 1118 00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:36,200 And I don't want to bore you with a really funny podcast, but 1119 00:54:36,680 --> 00:54:38,800 I've got, I hope you don't mind this right? 1120 00:54:38,800 --> 00:54:43,800 But having a 10 year old son and I said bought her, I'm really, 1121 00:54:43,800 --> 00:54:46,120 really worried about the world they're about to enter with 1122 00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,440 social media and just things like body dysmorphia for young 1123 00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:52,880 girls in particular. Like my affectations that my 1124 00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:55,240 little girls picked up from Youtubers and pop videos and 1125 00:54:55,240 --> 00:54:58,040 stuff, and the pressures that she feels from things she's 1126 00:54:58,040 --> 00:55:00,520 seeing on social media. And I don't think we're 1127 00:55:00,520 --> 00:55:02,800 equipping young people properly to deal with that. 1128 00:55:02,800 --> 00:55:04,680 And it's a bigger picture thing as well. 1129 00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:07,120 It's like everybody now is a newspaper, right? 1130 00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:09,080 So you make a decision every single day. 1131 00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:11,720 And what you publish on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, 1132 00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:14,240 whatever I have to Discord, whatever you use on YouTube. 1133 00:55:14,240 --> 00:55:18,720 And I don't think young people are fully equipped to do that 1134 00:55:18,720 --> 00:55:20,880 stuff because you're offering an opinion, quite often an extreme 1135 00:55:20,880 --> 00:55:22,800 opinion. You realise this is a comedian. 1136 00:55:23,000 --> 00:55:25,480 To get a big response you have to be pretty shocking, right? 1137 00:55:26,160 --> 00:55:29,840 And if you're not shocking, you just blend in and you're 1138 00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:32,400 basically realising what it's like to be a tabloid newspaper. 1139 00:55:32,400 --> 00:55:34,920 If you don't have a big headline or a big bit of salacious gossip 1140 00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:37,400 or a picture of somebody half naked, you ain't going to sell 1141 00:55:37,400 --> 00:55:40,480 in newspapers, right? And people are now making 1142 00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:44,600 dreadful mistakes that are life changing mistakes at 161718 that 1143 00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:46,680 will affect unemployment for the rest of their lives. 1144 00:55:46,680 --> 00:55:50,160 And I just don't think we're doing enough to help them 1145 00:55:50,920 --> 00:55:53,520 present themselves digitally. And I talk about this loads with 1146 00:55:53,520 --> 00:55:55,080 training, media training and stuff, you know, about the 1147 00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:57,600 digital tattoo. You know, it takes me 50 minutes 1148 00:55:57,600 --> 00:55:59,080 to look through the life of Shane Todd. 1149 00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:02,520 And I know I can find something in your past that could 1150 00:56:02,520 --> 00:56:03,680 potentially your son Hitler. Yeah. 1151 00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:05,040 Yeah. You'll find. 1152 00:56:05,680 --> 00:56:07,920 This you'll find it and it's it's like it's great when you're 1153 00:56:07,920 --> 00:56:11,720 late 20s, early 30s and you're a stand up comedian, but you know 1154 00:56:11,720 --> 00:56:14,280 when you've suddenly got an 18 year old who wants to go to 1155 00:56:14,280 --> 00:56:17,360 university and you have to enter the corporate world to pay those 1156 00:56:17,360 --> 00:56:20,640 bills and somebody sitting in front of you in a panel and 1157 00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:23,800 says, Shane, you've made this joke here about sectarianism in 1158 00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:25,640 Northern Ireland do. You think that? 1159 00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:28,000 Oh yeah, by the way. And it's like. 1160 00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:32,400 Those exist. And it's like, you know, I've 1161 00:56:32,400 --> 00:56:33,920 been really irresponsible in the past. 1162 00:56:33,920 --> 00:56:36,960 So mass social media and things, but it's something I would like 1163 00:56:36,960 --> 00:56:41,400 to do a meaningful job to help preserve the mental health of 1164 00:56:41,400 --> 00:56:44,400 young people in the future by giving them the tools to make 1165 00:56:44,400 --> 00:56:46,360 the right decisions. Online, But you're right, 1166 00:56:46,360 --> 00:56:48,200 because I can, I can get away with that. 1167 00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:51,760 I can justify that because I'm a comedian, because I do stand up 1168 00:56:51,760 --> 00:56:53,360 and I can say, oh, I came from a place of humour. 1169 00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:57,000 But you're right. If you know, if my son grows up 1170 00:56:57,000 --> 00:56:59,880 and you know he makes a joke, how often do we say it when 1171 00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:05,240 somebody goes into a reality TV show, a kid basically, and, and 1172 00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:10,080 tweets they sent when they were 14, you know, in 2012 come come 1173 00:57:10,080 --> 00:57:13,680 back to haunt them. It does seem extremely unfair 1174 00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:15,680 because when we're 14, we're not who we are now. 1175 00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:20,600 We're not we we say silly things for effect and, and we don't use 1176 00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:23,960 correct terminology. Every single one of us has has 1177 00:57:24,480 --> 00:57:26,760 said something or whatever back in the day, either trying to 1178 00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:29,560 impress people or just because you just didn't know. 1179 00:57:29,880 --> 00:57:32,440 So, So no, that seems extremely worthwhile to me. 1180 00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:37,360 And I, I do very much have the feeling now of my son is 6 weeks 1181 00:57:37,360 --> 00:57:40,960 old, But what is 15 years time going to look like? 1182 00:57:40,960 --> 00:57:45,680 Especially because social media now, I think it's just like a 1183 00:57:45,680 --> 00:57:50,560 complete I'm not going to say so because there's so much great 1184 00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:55,040 stuff there And and even as a football fan, so I need social 1185 00:57:55,040 --> 00:57:56,880 media to to find out what's going on. 1186 00:57:56,880 --> 00:58:00,480 The read about debate, but but I despair. 1187 00:58:00,480 --> 00:58:03,480 That's so much of it. That's so much of it so. 1188 00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:08,000 That's part of the reason that I think I left newspapers is 1189 00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,720 because when you spend your entire life, it's basically in 1190 00:58:11,720 --> 00:58:15,520 an argument, whether it's in the paper with people who disagree 1191 00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:18,000 on social media. And it does eventually take its 1192 00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:20,000 toll on you. And you know, I remember having 1193 00:58:20,000 --> 00:58:23,080 an argument or being quite pissed off when a comedian just 1194 00:58:23,080 --> 00:58:26,160 said brazenly to my face, you're an appalling human being because 1195 00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:29,280 you work for the sun. And I'd seen him doing stand up 1196 00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:32,600 about 3 days before and he was talking about getting into the 1197 00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:35,440 sea and wanking over the naked women he could see on the beach. 1198 00:58:35,880 --> 00:58:40,040 And I was like, right, you know, that's actually a criminal 1199 00:58:40,040 --> 00:58:43,840 offence, right? And if I, if I caught you 1200 00:58:43,840 --> 00:58:47,600 wanking in the sea over my 1617 year old daughter or my wife, 1201 00:58:47,920 --> 00:58:49,720 I'd get in the sea and drown you, right? 1202 00:58:49,720 --> 00:58:52,880 So don't cast aspersions maybe. And also you've got to remember 1203 00:58:52,880 --> 00:58:54,760 that I've got a pile of newspaper cuttings for the last 1204 00:58:54,760 --> 00:58:57,560 15 years of my career that at some point my children will leaf 1205 00:58:57,560 --> 00:58:59,560 through and pass judgement on me. 1206 00:58:59,960 --> 00:59:02,360 And that's going to be, I'm not entirely comfortable with it, 1207 00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:03,760 right? A lot of it, I'm very proud of 1208 00:59:03,760 --> 00:59:04,960 it. A lot I'm not. 1209 00:59:05,480 --> 00:59:09,720 People like to, you know, sling mud kind of like that in a way 1210 00:59:09,720 --> 00:59:14,320 that anyone do not needs to have not done anything wrong in their 1211 00:59:14,320 --> 00:59:17,440 past, needs to not have said anything and it's become a thing 1212 00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:18,520 now. I could talk about this for a 1213 00:59:18,520 --> 00:59:22,840 long time, but comedians policing the content of other 1214 00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:26,360 stand ups and it totally, totally blows my mind. 1215 00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:33,000 I, I, somebody made a comment on a bit of material I had done. 1216 00:59:33,800 --> 00:59:36,600 I typed that person's name in the YouTube and the first video 1217 00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,480 I saw that comedian says the word retard. 1218 00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:42,280 Now it was an old set, but within the first couple of 1219 00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:46,040 sentences of the ACT. So you can't, you know you 1220 00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:50,200 can't, if you've done anything wrong before, you just can't 1221 00:59:50,200 --> 00:59:52,080 really bring up on what someone's doing now. 1222 00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:54,240 We're all massive hypocrites, aren't we? 1223 00:59:54,240 --> 00:59:57,080 You know, And I, like, think of myself as a liberal person, an 1224 00:59:57,080 --> 01:00:00,200 incredibly liberal person. My politics are always massively 1225 01:00:00,200 --> 01:00:02,800 at odds. With the publication I worked 1226 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:05,200 for, but life is a compromise, right? 1227 01:00:05,200 --> 01:00:07,760 And how many people in the world can truly say they are 1228 01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:10,520 completely ethically aligned with the company they work for? 1229 01:00:10,960 --> 01:00:13,320 And like, it's, it's really tricky. 1230 01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:18,000 And you know, I think about this all the time, you know, like my 1231 01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:21,880 kids growing up, but there's so many different levels to this. 1232 01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:25,000 It's about opinions that you offer without really 1233 01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:27,960 understanding the subject. And Twitter is appalling for 1234 01:00:27,960 --> 01:00:29,320 that. Now you know, you people see 1235 01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:30,920 things trend and they think, right, I'm going to have an 1236 01:00:30,920 --> 01:00:33,760 opinion on that. And you, if you look at my feed, 1237 01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:37,120 I've just become pretty vanilla. I'm quite a beige personally. 1238 01:00:37,120 --> 01:00:39,640 I'll occasionally get an argument about football at you, 1239 01:00:39,640 --> 01:00:42,840 but I just don't want the minute I see people arguing about land 1240 01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:46,240 of hope and glory, I just think Chuck my phone in the sea. 1241 01:00:47,080 --> 01:00:48,960 But there's another one I'm interested in talking to you 1242 01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:51,080 about, right? Because you, you're definitely 1243 01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:52,760 part of the world that exists, right? 1244 01:00:52,760 --> 01:00:55,080 And I'm fascinated by this subject. 1245 01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,800 We did a big bit of research at the paper about the lunchtime 1246 01:00:57,800 --> 01:01:01,640 habits of working men, right? And traditionally anybody born 1247 01:01:02,920 --> 01:01:06,640 from 1980 and before, we'd have a pint maybe at lunchtime or at 1248 01:01:06,640 --> 01:01:09,800 the end of their work, read a newspaper, have you know, they, 1249 01:01:10,000 --> 01:01:11,520 they would eat Greg's or whatever. 1250 01:01:11,720 --> 01:01:14,440 And then we suddenly found that there's a change in culture 1251 01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:17,600 where labs were having protein shakes, taking pictures of their 1252 01:01:17,600 --> 01:01:21,480 6 packs and then spending most of their time on Tinder and, and 1253 01:01:21,520 --> 01:01:23,720 all the rest of it, Bumble. And it was like this huge 1254 01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:25,440 change. But now there's this body 1255 01:01:25,440 --> 01:01:30,120 dysmorphia, men, you've got to be 6 pack body fat below 6.2%. 1256 01:01:30,640 --> 01:01:33,440 And then I got in the habit of like, I got really into fitness 1257 01:01:33,440 --> 01:01:36,200 and training because I had the time to do it. 1258 01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:40,960 After newspapers and the amount of abuse I got for posting about 1259 01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,280 the gym and keeping fit and all the rest of it, it was like 1260 01:01:43,280 --> 01:01:46,200 another level of social media bullying. 1261 01:01:46,880 --> 01:01:50,560 Yeah, 100% I, I think I do it some. 1262 01:01:50,560 --> 01:01:55,200 I'll put the odd published photo of myself up 100% I'll put them 1263 01:01:55,200 --> 01:02:00,280 up, but I will sort of just try and beat people to the punch in 1264 01:02:00,280 --> 01:02:02,240 that. A couple of months ago during 1265 01:02:02,240 --> 01:02:09,080 lockdown, my wife took a photo outside of our house and I was I 1266 01:02:09,080 --> 01:02:13,320 genuinely just happened to be in it and and I'm assured of so I 1267 01:02:13,320 --> 01:02:15,600 would send it to friends and say, like, what do you think of 1268 01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:18,240 our new wall? But I'm clearly like, you know, 1269 01:02:18,240 --> 01:02:21,880 working out topless in it. So I think if you almost do that 1270 01:02:21,880 --> 01:02:25,920 and undermine yourself and make it look like, listen, I want, I 1271 01:02:25,920 --> 01:02:28,400 want some likes on this. I want some positive comments. 1272 01:02:29,320 --> 01:02:32,640 I think it's totally fine. Like I've just started working 1273 01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:36,800 with the PT online and I was thinking like, do I post my 1274 01:02:36,800 --> 01:02:39,920 progress pictures because maybe there's someone else like doing 1275 01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:42,800 the whole thing? And and then I was like, I don't 1276 01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:44,400 know, as a committee, maybe you can't do that. 1277 01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:47,200 But I think as long as you accept you're going to get 1278 01:02:47,200 --> 01:02:49,600 abused doing it, you definitely, you definitely can. 1279 01:02:50,080 --> 01:02:52,960 And it's like anything like it's the same as a guy putting up a 1280 01:02:52,960 --> 01:02:55,440 picture of his new car, you know, because he thinks his car 1281 01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:57,760 looks good, you know, and he he wants people to know he's got a 1282 01:02:57,760 --> 01:02:59,000 new car. You know, I think if you're 1283 01:02:59,000 --> 01:03:02,800 putting in effort, you know, in terms of fitness and working out 1284 01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:05,280 and you just want to, you know, you want to show people the 1285 01:03:05,280 --> 01:03:09,040 results that Angus totally fine as long as you are OK with what 1286 01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:10,560 you're about to receive as a result of it. 1287 01:03:11,080 --> 01:03:13,040 It's about being comfortable in your own skin, isn't it? 1288 01:03:13,040 --> 01:03:14,960 Because, you know, I always say this in media training. 1289 01:03:15,280 --> 01:03:18,600 If Mother Teresa was on Twitter or social media, somebody would 1290 01:03:18,600 --> 01:03:21,840 say she had shit shoes, right? So you could be a St and the 1291 01:03:21,840 --> 01:03:24,000 world's nicest person and you'll get destroyed for it. 1292 01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:26,520 Like I when I live up in Scotland, right, I've got this 1293 01:03:26,520 --> 01:03:28,920 beautiful view, like looking across Loch Leaven and 1294 01:03:28,920 --> 01:03:32,280 Perthshire across to the but Oak Hills behind me, the looming 1295 01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:35,080 hills to one side of me. It's just a lovely place. 1296 01:03:35,080 --> 01:03:38,760 And in my head, the view and it's an amazing, the countryside 1297 01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:40,520 in Scotland because they see, I'm going to sound like an old 1298 01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:44,000 man here, but the seasons are magical and it just makes me 1299 01:03:44,000 --> 01:03:45,720 happy, right? So I keep posting these pictures 1300 01:03:45,720 --> 01:03:48,000 from my house. And then one year I got a 1301 01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:51,960 calendar from a friend of mine, from his wife with a little 1302 01:03:51,960 --> 01:03:55,240 sarcastic comments and each month saying our house is bigger 1303 01:03:55,240 --> 01:03:57,080 than yours. And here's one where you can see 1304 01:03:57,080 --> 01:03:59,040 a little bit of my car. We've got more money than you. 1305 01:03:59,760 --> 01:04:02,240 And I really took. I was really, really upset. 1306 01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:05,840 And still I'm really upset about it because it wasn't, it wasn't 1307 01:04:05,840 --> 01:04:09,120 in any way flaunting wealth. It was me showing a picture of 1308 01:04:09,120 --> 01:04:12,760 what was making me happy. Away from the newspapers of 1309 01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:18,440 course. The whole body thing so I I have 1310 01:04:18,440 --> 01:04:22,840 Crohn's disease so about got diagnosed about five years ago 1311 01:04:23,120 --> 01:04:26,280 and I lost I've always been like a little bit being right, but I 1312 01:04:26,280 --> 01:04:29,880 lost maybe 2 1/2 stone and I'd be a naturally slim guy. 1313 01:04:30,240 --> 01:04:33,960 So I have a horrific picture, which I can, if you want, you 1314 01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:37,480 can see it where I did my first workout after coming out of 1315 01:04:37,480 --> 01:04:41,560 hospital. And I it's, it's, it's like it 1316 01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:43,120 would make me uncomfortable to look at. 1317 01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:48,240 So whenever I, you know, work out now or the fact that I'm in 1318 01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:52,240 way better shape now, like I'm in good shape now, I have no 1319 01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:54,800 problem. Sure, you know, I'm proud of 1320 01:04:54,800 --> 01:04:58,440 that, you know, and I remember with me and my wife, who was my 1321 01:04:58,440 --> 01:05:01,440 girlfriend at the time, we lived in this really small apartment 1322 01:05:01,800 --> 01:05:05,200 and I have always been like played football like yourself. 1323 01:05:06,000 --> 01:05:07,920 And after I came out of hospital couple of months, I was like, 1324 01:05:07,920 --> 01:05:10,280 I'm going to do a workout here. And I remember so clearly she 1325 01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:12,800 was watching Emmerdale and I went down to do a couple of 1326 01:05:12,800 --> 01:05:15,160 press ups and I went down for the first one and I just 1327 01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:20,720 couldn't get back up. So five years on, I'm like in 1328 01:05:20,720 --> 01:05:22,080 really, really good health at the minute. 1329 01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:28,040 Thankfully my condition's very mild, but I'm, if I do take a 1330 01:05:28,040 --> 01:05:30,240 photo of myself and I'm like, I look good with the shirt off 1331 01:05:30,240 --> 01:05:32,840 there. The fact that you will get some 1332 01:05:32,840 --> 01:05:35,240 people you know commenting negatively on it. 1333 01:05:35,800 --> 01:05:40,040 The fact that I feel way better and myself outweighs those 1334 01:05:40,040 --> 01:05:43,640 comments. So like 0 problem because it's a 1335 01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:46,000 small price to pay for like feeling feeling really good 1336 01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:47,800 again. So you know what, that's a 1337 01:05:47,840 --> 01:05:50,560 perfect example. I had no idea about your medical 1338 01:05:50,560 --> 01:05:52,800 history, right. And I when I look at pictures of 1339 01:05:52,800 --> 01:05:54,800 you and you do stuff like, I think fair play to, you know, 1340 01:05:54,800 --> 01:05:56,360 he's a young man looking after himself. 1341 01:05:56,800 --> 01:05:59,080 And it's that whole attitude again, we live in a culture now 1342 01:05:59,080 --> 01:06:01,560 where people feel it's appropriate to say that should 1343 01:06:01,560 --> 01:06:03,240 be shut down or it shouldn't happen. 1344 01:06:03,560 --> 01:06:05,440 My actually, just to say fair play to you. 1345 01:06:05,880 --> 01:06:08,240 If it's not for me, I'll scroll on to the next thing. 1346 01:06:08,480 --> 01:06:10,360 That's entirely up to you. It's like people who used to 1347 01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:12,520 slag off the sun for having Page 3. 1348 01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:15,320 It's like, well, you're not outside and summers demanding 1349 01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:18,280 that they take down the the, you know, the stockings and 1350 01:06:18,280 --> 01:06:21,080 suspenders and sex toys in the window, you know, just live and 1351 01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:22,840 let live, you know, be your own person. 1352 01:06:22,840 --> 01:06:25,800 It's totally cool with me. And like every now and again I 1353 01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:29,720 look at mates of mine who are posting massively homoerotic 1354 01:06:29,720 --> 01:06:34,280 pictures of themselves, you know, oiled up and sick facts 1355 01:06:34,720 --> 01:06:36,800 and all this, that they are your bail ends. 1356 01:06:37,280 --> 01:06:40,080 But it's nothing I wouldn't say to them in person, you know? 1357 01:06:40,080 --> 01:06:43,160 And it's just mainly out of a place of damn, I've let myself 1358 01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:47,480 go. Oh, I mean the, you know, there 1359 01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:50,720 is a level to it and like when someone has clearly set up a 1360 01:06:50,760 --> 01:06:52,720 picture of it too much and there's a will involved, that's 1361 01:06:52,720 --> 01:06:54,680 when you're like, no, I can't take the person you for that. 1362 01:06:54,680 --> 01:06:56,560 I definitely can't take the person you for that. 1363 01:06:56,920 --> 01:06:59,520 I talked about this on the podcast I did 2 days ago. 1364 01:07:00,120 --> 01:07:02,920 There's a song I heard recently, The Staple Singers Respect 1365 01:07:02,920 --> 01:07:04,960 Yourself. And there's a line in it about 1366 01:07:05,560 --> 01:07:07,400 something. The effect of if you see a man 1367 01:07:07,400 --> 01:07:10,800 preaching with the Bible on the street, let him do his thing. 1368 01:07:11,120 --> 01:07:16,560 And that really hit home to me because I would have like seen 1369 01:07:16,560 --> 01:07:18,960 workout photos of people a couple of years ago and I 1370 01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:20,920 wouldn't have commented really on it, but I would have been 1371 01:07:21,000 --> 01:07:23,640 quite like, I would have rolled the eyes. 1372 01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:26,840 I would have cared way more about what other people were 1373 01:07:26,840 --> 01:07:27,960 doing and what they were posting. 1374 01:07:28,720 --> 01:07:30,680 And like, when I heard the lyrics of that song, I was like, 1375 01:07:30,840 --> 01:07:34,040 yeah, I care way less not about what other people do. 1376 01:07:34,040 --> 01:07:37,160 So if I saw someone on the street preaching with the Bible, 1377 01:07:37,840 --> 01:07:39,400 I would have thought about it for hours. 1378 01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:41,120 You know, why is that person doing that? 1379 01:07:41,760 --> 01:07:44,880 I would have looked on, you know, like really 1380 01:07:44,880 --> 01:07:46,560 voyeuristically. And now I'm like, I don't know, 1381 01:07:46,560 --> 01:07:49,800 voyeuristically is a word. But but now I'm like, the the 1382 01:07:49,800 --> 01:07:52,680 less you care about what other people are doing and and try and 1383 01:07:52,680 --> 01:07:54,680 work out why other people are doing what they're doing, the 1384 01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:57,360 more you could just worry about what you're doing and and your 1385 01:07:57,360 --> 01:07:59,840 own thing. I think it's, you've got a 1386 01:07:59,840 --> 01:08:02,440 wonderful perspective on it without even realising it 1387 01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,120 because you come from Northern Ireland, right? 1388 01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:06,640 I one of my favourite nights out in the world, as I've said, is 1389 01:08:06,640 --> 01:08:08,600 in Belfast. And I remember I'm first coming 1390 01:08:08,600 --> 01:08:10,640 across to see concerts there because it would often be the 1391 01:08:10,640 --> 01:08:12,280 first night of a tour for a big artist. 1392 01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:14,800 And it was quite intimidating coming to Belfast, right, 1393 01:08:14,800 --> 01:08:18,120 Staying in the Europa, the most bombed hotel and you know, and 1394 01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:20,960 all that stuff you hear and also seeing grey Land Rovers 1395 01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:22,640 trundling around town all the time. 1396 01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:25,040 And you know, you're living, there's this great thing, you 1397 01:08:25,040 --> 01:08:28,640 know, if you turn up, dress for war or expect a fight and you're 1398 01:08:28,640 --> 01:08:30,319 just turning up and it looks like everyone's. 1399 01:08:30,439 --> 01:08:33,399 But then you meet people from Belfast and think, oh God, 1400 01:08:33,479 --> 01:08:36,439 wonderful, wonderful people and having to grow up with conflict, 1401 01:08:36,439 --> 01:08:38,600 right? You develop a certain 1402 01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:41,520 understanding of how to deal with the candour of your 1403 01:08:41,520 --> 01:08:43,520 language and, and things like that. 1404 01:08:43,520 --> 01:08:46,439 So you know you've got great experience with even realising 1405 01:08:46,439 --> 01:08:47,920 it. And it's something that I think 1406 01:08:47,920 --> 01:08:49,840 that the world's sadly lacking at the moment. 1407 01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:51,840 You've got to be conscious of the words you use. 1408 01:08:51,840 --> 01:08:54,399 And I certainly am from my time in newspapers. 1409 01:08:54,399 --> 01:08:57,319 And there's a great documentary you should walk watch called The 1410 01:08:57,319 --> 01:09:00,080 Fog of War. And it's all about the Cuban 1411 01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:03,960 Missile Crisis and how the 11 wrong word could have ended the 1412 01:09:03,960 --> 01:09:05,800 world right. And we've suddenly got a 1413 01:09:05,800 --> 01:09:09,720 president in America who says the most inflammatory stuff. 1414 01:09:10,120 --> 01:09:12,000 And it's like you've got to learn from history in those 1415 01:09:12,000 --> 01:09:13,960 respects. And it feels like the same for 1416 01:09:13,960 --> 01:09:17,080 me in a really in a smaller sense on social media. 1417 01:09:17,080 --> 01:09:20,080 You've got to be careful about the candour of your language and 1418 01:09:20,080 --> 01:09:21,800 how you say it and how you present it. 1419 01:09:22,160 --> 01:09:24,840 And like, we all make mistakes. I still make mistakes now. 1420 01:09:25,240 --> 01:09:27,800 But I, you know, yesterday commented on one of Ian 1421 01:09:27,800 --> 01:09:31,359 Sterling's pictures on, on Instagram because basically Ian 1422 01:09:31,359 --> 01:09:35,200 Sterling gets every job I want. He's a Hibs fan, 10 years 1423 01:09:35,200 --> 01:09:37,399 younger than me, going out with Laura Whitmore. 1424 01:09:37,920 --> 01:09:40,200 I was just like, I just posted that there's this Gore Vidal 1425 01:09:40,200 --> 01:09:41,840 quotes. Like you know, every time your 1426 01:09:41,840 --> 01:09:43,800 friend succeed a little part of he dies. 1427 01:09:45,760 --> 01:09:48,000 And I never heard, I don't think he exists. 1428 01:09:48,000 --> 01:09:49,640 Go now. He's just he's just in your 1429 01:09:49,640 --> 01:09:50,479 head. Ian Sterling. 1430 01:09:50,479 --> 01:09:54,640 I've never no I've heard of. And it's funny, isn't it? 1431 01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:57,880 It's like I look back at what I posted 2 days ago and read it 1432 01:09:57,880 --> 01:10:01,520 and thought, oh God, that sounds like I'm the bitterest twat ever 1433 01:10:02,160 --> 01:10:04,120 and it was meant and sometimes things don't come across 1434 01:10:04,120 --> 01:10:05,400 properly. But you're absolutely right. 1435 01:10:05,400 --> 01:10:08,240 You have to. Yeah, just be conscious of that. 1436 01:10:09,040 --> 01:10:14,680 I would love to do like an in studio podcast with you next 1437 01:10:14,680 --> 01:10:16,280 time you're ruin this part of the world. 1438 01:10:16,600 --> 01:10:20,200 And I think we should definitely have a pint and I think we 1439 01:10:20,200 --> 01:10:23,440 should definitely figure out ways so we can bring down Martin 1440 01:10:23,440 --> 01:10:27,400 Kemp, because there there are ways like you have the contacts 1441 01:10:27,400 --> 01:10:29,840 and I have the time and the and the hatred. 1442 01:10:29,840 --> 01:10:32,160 So. So yeah, we need to just bring 1443 01:10:32,160 --> 01:10:33,440 him down. I think here's what we do. 1444 01:10:33,440 --> 01:10:35,640 I think we take our Gary first of all, because Martin is 1445 01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:37,960 nothing without Gary. Gary wrote the songs. 1446 01:10:38,080 --> 01:10:40,320 Martin has the quiff, all right, and he knows it. 1447 01:10:40,320 --> 01:10:43,400 So you've. Got an opportunity, Roman 1448 01:10:43,400 --> 01:10:44,880 Kempshire way in there, isn't it? 1449 01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:47,160 You know the host of the Capital Breakfast Show, You know. 1450 01:10:47,960 --> 01:10:51,360 I mean, Speaking of like, you know, Roman Kemp is a is, is a 1451 01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:53,480 very popular young guy. And Speaking of very popular 1452 01:10:53,480 --> 01:10:55,200 young guys, that's the last thing I want to chat to you 1453 01:10:55,200 --> 01:11:01,360 about is I saw on Twitter that I was talking about, but what 1454 01:11:01,360 --> 01:11:03,280 other people are doing and not really caring about what other 1455 01:11:03,280 --> 01:11:06,120 people are doing. The only thing that I am jealous 1456 01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:09,280 of in this world really is the fact that Harry Styles follows 1457 01:11:09,280 --> 01:11:13,560 you on Twitter. And I got to be honest, like, I 1458 01:11:13,560 --> 01:11:18,000 love, I love my son. I love, I love my wife, but what 1459 01:11:18,000 --> 01:11:20,600 I love equally to those things is Harry Styles. 1460 01:11:21,440 --> 01:11:26,800 I mean, the guy is an artist. I genuinely own hard copies of 1461 01:11:26,800 --> 01:11:29,760 both of his albums, which I would never buy CDs anymore. 1462 01:11:30,000 --> 01:11:33,280 But I feel like, you know, if Harry gets like even £1.50, even 1463 01:11:33,280 --> 01:11:36,560 if Harry gets 150 from that, he can buy himself some sweets or 1464 01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:38,520 so, you know, whatever he wants or flares. 1465 01:11:38,880 --> 01:11:43,400 So I got to ask, have you met Harry Styles? 1466 01:11:43,520 --> 01:11:45,640 What interaction have you had with Harry Styles? 1467 01:11:45,840 --> 01:11:48,960 And more importantly, well, can he come to Northern Ireland with 1468 01:11:48,960 --> 01:11:50,160 you? And what does he smell like? 1469 01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:53,160 Sorry I just I get a little bit uncomfortable and bit red from 1470 01:11:53,160 --> 01:11:55,560 the shadow. I'm going to go over this top 1471 01:11:55,560 --> 01:11:57,840 here and tell you information you weren't expecting that might 1472 01:11:57,840 --> 01:12:02,040 actually blow your mind. So when I was working, I did 1473 01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:05,520 quite, I did two or three series of Extra Factor back in the day. 1474 01:12:05,520 --> 01:12:08,160 It's like the Alan Hanson pundit that I just sit at the end going 1475 01:12:08,160 --> 01:12:10,640 disgraceful, you know, and diabolical. 1476 01:12:11,440 --> 01:12:12,880 It was with Holly Willoughby and I loved it. 1477 01:12:12,880 --> 01:12:15,960 I loved my job doing that. It was great fun and I was lucky 1478 01:12:15,960 --> 01:12:18,160 enough to get to know the One Direction boys when they came 1479 01:12:18,160 --> 01:12:21,880 through and Simon Cowell actually paid me to do some 1480 01:12:21,880 --> 01:12:23,960 media training with them back in the day. 1481 01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:27,200 So I met them before they were massive and they they were 1482 01:12:27,400 --> 01:12:30,400 again, really lovely kids. And I still speak to Louis quite 1483 01:12:30,400 --> 01:12:32,960 a lot. Obviously now again from the the 1484 01:12:32,960 --> 01:12:35,320 Irish Connection. He, he's just a lovely, lovely 1485 01:12:35,320 --> 01:12:37,240 boy. But it's mad to see them grow up 1486 01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:39,440 and become multi, multi millionaires when you first met 1487 01:12:39,440 --> 01:12:40,720 them. They have a penny in a pocket 1488 01:12:40,720 --> 01:12:42,440 and they're no considerably wealthier than me. 1489 01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:45,280 But Harry is just such a lovely human being. 1490 01:12:45,280 --> 01:12:47,960 And in the context of what we were saying about apologising, 1491 01:12:48,600 --> 01:12:51,480 there's one story we were getting on grey and we played 1492 01:12:51,480 --> 01:12:52,840 golf together and all that stuff. 1493 01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:56,480 Me and Harry and I wrote a front page story about him sharing a 1494 01:12:56,480 --> 01:12:59,720 jacuzzi with a girl on holiday and he told me it was bollocks 1495 01:12:59,720 --> 01:13:01,920 and we still ran it because we had a picture of him in the 1496 01:13:01,920 --> 01:13:03,880 jacuzzi. It was probably totally 1497 01:13:03,880 --> 01:13:06,080 innocuous. And I really, I'd like to 1498 01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:09,760 apologise unreservedly to Harry for that because it was an error 1499 01:13:09,760 --> 01:13:11,760 of judgement on my part and it probably tarnished our 1500 01:13:11,760 --> 01:13:14,120 friendship. But we've seen each other since, 1501 01:13:14,640 --> 01:13:18,400 and the information I'm about to tell you now, it's probably 1502 01:13:18,400 --> 01:13:20,560 slightly creepy and unusual to talk about. 1503 01:13:20,560 --> 01:13:23,560 But if it's Harry. Styles if it's that he likes my 1504 01:13:23,560 --> 01:13:27,160 videos, I mean, listen, it's great to know that information, 1505 01:13:27,160 --> 01:13:29,200 but I think it might not be blow my. 1506 01:13:29,200 --> 01:13:37,040 Mind Shane, he is he is blessed he has he has got he's been very 1507 01:13:37,040 --> 01:13:41,040 fortunate in the when things were being handed out. 1508 01:13:41,520 --> 01:13:44,360 Now, young Harry, when I was working on X Factor, it was Matt 1509 01:13:44,360 --> 01:13:46,080 Cardle who won it, I think that year. 1510 01:13:46,400 --> 01:13:48,920 And Matt Cardle said to me one day I helped write his bio for 1511 01:13:48,920 --> 01:13:51,440 one of his albums and he said, tell you what, Harry Styles has 1512 01:13:51,440 --> 01:13:53,920 got a massive cock. And I was like, all right, all 1513 01:13:53,920 --> 01:13:55,920 right, OK, thanks for telling me that. 1514 01:13:56,480 --> 01:14:00,480 And he was getting his hair cut one day on X Factor and he just 1515 01:14:00,480 --> 01:14:03,000 felt this thump in the back of his head and he turned around 1516 01:14:03,000 --> 01:14:06,080 and Harry had hit him with it. And I remember him telling me 1517 01:14:06,080 --> 01:14:07,680 that story, thinking that's slightly unusual. 1518 01:14:07,720 --> 01:14:11,280 And Matt Karl said to Harry, he said, you know, you are gifted 1519 01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:13,640 you, you've been very fortunate there, young man. 1520 01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:16,600 And Harry had no idea because he was just such a young man. 1521 01:14:16,640 --> 01:14:20,440 Anyway, years later, a couple of years later, maybe usually, I 1522 01:14:20,480 --> 01:14:24,320 was playing golf with him and there was a communal shower 1523 01:14:24,320 --> 01:14:27,080 situation at the end. Now, Shane is a man who played 1524 01:14:27,080 --> 01:14:29,520 football. You know, we have showered with 1525 01:14:29,520 --> 01:14:31,480 a lot of other men in our lives. That's true. 1526 01:14:31,680 --> 01:14:35,720 So I thought I'm going to check out and the rumours. 1527 01:14:36,400 --> 01:14:40,640 The rumours are Truish in he is a very, very well enhanced young 1528 01:14:40,640 --> 01:14:44,520 man. So I have, I had, sorry, I can't 1529 01:14:44,520 --> 01:14:47,080 really speak. I had asthma up until I was 1530 01:14:47,080 --> 01:14:50,240 about 21. So I haven't had asthma symptoms 1531 01:14:50,240 --> 01:14:52,960 in about 11 years. But someone get me inhale an 1532 01:14:52,960 --> 01:14:56,240 inhaler #1 number two, let me just say, if I was getting a 1533 01:14:56,240 --> 01:15:00,400 haircut and Harry Styles hit me in the back of the neck with his 1534 01:15:00,400 --> 01:15:02,880 penis, I would turn around in record time. 1535 01:15:03,600 --> 01:15:05,320 It wouldn't have touched the back of my neck because I just 1536 01:15:05,320 --> 01:15:06,880 found out in that chair. That's all I'm saying. 1537 01:15:08,800 --> 01:15:11,640 Yeah, that's that's. I'm really glad I know that. 1538 01:15:11,640 --> 01:15:14,680 And it's only fuelled my quest to meet Harry Styles even more. 1539 01:15:15,120 --> 01:15:17,480 He's a brilliant boy and you know, if anybody deserves to be 1540 01:15:17,480 --> 01:15:21,000 blessed like that, it is Harry and I'm sure he has put good 1541 01:15:21,000 --> 01:15:24,760 use, sensible and we should point out for the younger 1542 01:15:24,760 --> 01:15:27,080 listeners, you know, always to be responsible. 1543 01:15:27,200 --> 01:15:36,200 And I think he just pays it. He's a great kid. 1544 01:15:36,360 --> 01:15:38,000 You know, this is funny. Like, you know, I thought you 1545 01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:40,040 might have asked the question. But like, normally I get 1546 01:15:40,040 --> 01:15:41,880 pestered, like, oh, you went away on holiday with Jamie 1547 01:15:41,880 --> 01:15:44,800 Dornan and what's he like? And it's just soul destroying to 1548 01:15:44,800 --> 01:15:48,280 be around a man who looks vaguely like you, but an 1549 01:15:48,280 --> 01:15:51,520 enhanced, wonderful, perfect version of you. 1550 01:15:51,800 --> 01:15:55,440 Oh, I'm totally aware that like, as much as I'm a little bit of a 1551 01:15:55,440 --> 01:15:58,520 vain guy, I'm totally aware that if Jamie and I ever worked 1552 01:15:58,520 --> 01:16:01,160 together, it would only be I would be his stand in from a 1553 01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:04,760 distance on a project. Like 100% I could be a stand in 1554 01:16:04,760 --> 01:16:06,600 in the fall if they were doing like, I don't know, a 1555 01:16:06,600 --> 01:16:09,040 mountaintop scene and they were filmed from ground level. 1556 01:16:09,280 --> 01:16:12,880 Yeah, I often say that I'd say I'm the drinking woman's Jamie 1557 01:16:12,880 --> 01:16:16,000 Dornan. That's a joke stolen from Jimmy 1558 01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:18,680 Nesbitt, who opens his after dinner by saying he's the 1559 01:16:18,680 --> 01:16:22,960 drinking woman's George Clooney. You know, I as much as I like 1560 01:16:22,960 --> 01:16:25,480 that line, I would still probably go with Compton. 1561 01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:28,880 Compton, a grey coat or or whatever the, the Liam Gallagher 1562 01:16:28,880 --> 01:16:30,040 line. I think that will be the Twitter 1563 01:16:30,040 --> 01:16:32,960 bio. Gordon, I appreciate you taking 1564 01:16:32,960 --> 01:16:35,560 the time to do this. It's great to chat to you. 1565 01:16:35,760 --> 01:16:40,360 I hope the next time we are we're sitting down like this, 1566 01:16:40,520 --> 01:16:43,160 It's face to face and I can ask you more questions about Harry 1567 01:16:43,160 --> 01:16:45,680 Styles. But yeah, you're you're an 1568 01:16:45,680 --> 01:16:49,360 absolute gentleman. Thanks so much for for taking 1569 01:16:49,360 --> 01:16:51,600 the time. Let's play 5 aside. 1570 01:16:52,520 --> 01:16:56,680 I mean, the world is our oyster. Really, Shane. 1571 01:16:56,760 --> 01:16:57,640 Shane What? You you. 1572 01:16:57,800 --> 01:16:59,920 I've never really had a chance to talk to you about two things 1573 01:16:59,920 --> 01:17:02,760 that matter a lot to me. Michael O'Neill, the greatest 1574 01:17:02,760 --> 01:17:04,880 Northern Irish Hips player and Northern Ireland manager there 1575 01:17:04,880 --> 01:17:06,400 has been. Doing a great job with Stoke. 1576 01:17:07,000 --> 01:17:10,280 I just generally how the real truth of my career and my life 1577 01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:12,920 is that all I've ever really wanted to do is play football. 1578 01:17:13,400 --> 01:17:17,200 And the the career was really just an opportunity to to play 1579 01:17:17,200 --> 01:17:21,040 at Rod Stewart's football pitch, maybe one day be selected to 1580 01:17:21,080 --> 01:17:22,800 play. And do you remember the match? 1581 01:17:23,080 --> 01:17:26,480 That was my dream. And then UNICEF charity match. 1582 01:17:26,880 --> 01:17:28,320 I just want to play football with people. 1583 01:17:28,320 --> 01:17:30,320 That's all I want to do. So when I come in Northern 1584 01:17:30,320 --> 01:17:32,280 Ireland, I want to go to the Spanish bar. 1585 01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:33,320 I want to drink Guinness with you. 1586 01:17:33,320 --> 01:17:34,840 I want to record another podcast. 1587 01:17:35,080 --> 01:17:38,640 I'd like to go out on the tear with Martin Compston and Jimmy 1588 01:17:38,640 --> 01:17:40,400 Nez. But, and I would just like 1589 01:17:40,520 --> 01:17:44,440 everybody I see to say Fauci and Parshar because they must say 1590 01:17:44,440 --> 01:17:47,320 nothing. We can, we can definitely, 1591 01:17:47,320 --> 01:17:50,480 definitely arrange that. And also I want to play in 1592 01:17:50,480 --> 01:17:52,360 Soccer Aid, the UNICEF match as well. 1593 01:17:52,520 --> 01:17:54,320 And I think what you and I should do is find a rival 1594 01:17:54,320 --> 01:17:57,680 charity like Oxfam and set up a new game and ultimately try and 1595 01:17:57,680 --> 01:18:00,800 put UNICEF out of business. I think that's what we that's 1596 01:18:00,800 --> 01:18:03,520 what we should do. Yeah, fuck those kids. 1597 01:18:06,720 --> 01:18:11,000 Oxfam, Oxfam soccer annual game. I mean, we'll work in a better 1598 01:18:11,000 --> 01:18:13,400 title than that, but I think we should have the first, the first 1599 01:18:13,400 --> 01:18:14,640 annual one in Belfast when you're. 1600 01:18:14,640 --> 01:18:16,480 Yeah. Definitely, we do it in Belfast 1601 01:18:16,480 --> 01:18:19,240 and then we'll have a game against the UNICEF folk and 1602 01:18:19,240 --> 01:18:24,040 we'll all be like awful horrible like revolt and aggressive guy 1603 01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:26,240 chinning people 2 foot. Tackles. 1604 01:18:26,240 --> 01:18:28,960 Yeah, I would like that. Gordon, thank you so much. 1605 01:18:29,160 --> 01:18:31,240 Chat to you soon. Appreciate it.