1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:03,560 I'm Michael Che and I'm Colin Jose, and we've got a little 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,280 secret. Actually, it's a pretty big 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:06,480 secret. Well, now you got to give the 4 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:08,360 people something. I'm not saying a word. 5 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:09,920 Oh, then people will know to tune in. 6 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,080 Come on, tell them a little. Like our hosting of comedy 7 00:00:12,080 --> 00:00:13,440 events streaming only on Peacock. 8 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:15,520 Exactly how it's called New York After Dark. 9 00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:18,080 And it's a comedy show that only features drop in comic. 10 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:19,840 Boom. You nail into Michael Che's 11 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:20,360 phone. Nervous. 12 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,960 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey. 13 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,720 New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing. 14 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:28,000 And it's streaming now only on Peacock. 15 00:00:29,800 --> 00:00:36,400 You love it. Sippers, welcome to this episode 16 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:40,160 of the Tea With Me podcast featuring me, Shane Todd. 17 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:44,680 Before we get into it, let me plug our patreonpatreon.com/tea 18 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,320 With Me podcast. You pay a few pounds a month, 19 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:50,800 you get more bonus content than you know how to deal with. 20 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:55,520 Bonus episode on a Monday. On Friday you get that live 21 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:57,400 stream. And last week we just had my 22 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:59,640 birthday episode. And if you want to watch a man 23 00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:01,720 eat too much cake because he gets carried away because 24 00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,600 normally because without your requirements he can't eat cake. 25 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:06,720 But then someone brings in a free foam cake and then goes 26 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:10,240 into your coma, watch it. Also, Dave Elliott got very 27 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:13,000 angry and I just put a clip of that out and that is genuine 28 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,400 rage from him. So we do the live stream every 29 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,720 Friday. I put up a vlog from the 30 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:19,280 Ballymena show behind the scenes. 31 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,040 People seem to really enjoy that and then put it public a few 32 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,720 days later. So it's early access. 33 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:28,840 It's special treats. Also, we're sponsored by none 34 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:36,040 other than Nord VVPN if you do this this week. 35 00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:38,600 No it's not, because what the fuck is happening at the bottom 36 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,120 of your shoes on carpet? Looks like you've got carpet on 37 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:43,560 the bottom of your shoes. Have a look yourself. 38 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:47,560 Nord VPN now this is these guys not. 39 00:01:47,960 --> 00:01:51,480 Grips for walking? Go on ahead. 40 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:56,520 I'll tell you in a second, these guys are the world leaders in 41 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:00,120 Internet security. Here's the thing, all these 42 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,120 companies are trying to track you, all these, and not even 43 00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:10,320 just like Internet companies, companies like P&Q, Home Base, 44 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:12,080 yeah, they're all keeping tabs in you. 45 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:14,760 They want to know what you do. And eventually in the future, 46 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,040 they'll release what you're up to. 47 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,080 And I know what you're up to, and it's best if you hide it. 48 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:26,600 Nord VPN, basically, we use networks all over the place. 49 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:27,720 Is it called a network? I don't know. 50 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:29,720 What about when you go to Starbucks and they go use our 51 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:32,440 Internet? Anybody could be hacking into 52 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,280 that, hacking into the mainframe. 53 00:02:34,640 --> 00:02:36,640 You want to keep what you're doing safe. 54 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,520 You're putting in personal info, passwords, family photos, all 55 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:42,800 that kind of thing. Nord VPN can help. 56 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:47,520 Also, when you use Nord VPN too and you sign up for that, you 57 00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:50,520 can, you can let me get this right. 58 00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,560 You can trick your computer. You can play a prank on your 59 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,280 computer and pretend you're anywhere in the world. 60 00:02:56,720 --> 00:03:00,000 Because companies like Netflix, Amazon Prime, they hide certain 61 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000 content from you. They go listen. 62 00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:04,200 You know, there's a new series of Keen, there isn't. 63 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:06,280 There's a new series of Keenan and Kale, but it's only 64 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,840 available in Guatemala. Something like that. 65 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,960 You wouldn't be able to see it unless you're in Guatemala. 66 00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,400 Show that our Guatemalian listeners. 67 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:16,280 But if you use Nord VPN, you can tell your computer you're 68 00:03:16,280 --> 00:03:19,920 anywhere and you can access content on Netflix from Japan, 69 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:24,360 from Kenya, Isle of Man, wherever it is, you can get it. 70 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:30,080 If you use our code or you go to sorrynordvpn.com/T with me, you 71 00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:35,880 get a huge exclusive discount. Free threat protection, tracing 72 00:03:35,880 --> 00:03:41,920 that fast three times go and one month additional use of Nord VPN 73 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:43,280 for free. It's risk free. 74 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,240 You've got a 30 day money back guarantee. 75 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,720 That's nordvpn.com/team with me. And you can read about what it 76 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:50,360 what it really is because I might not. 77 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,720 I use the word mainframe and I don't even know what that is. 78 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,600 But thanks, Dan. Is that all good? 79 00:03:55,560 --> 00:03:57,720 Close enough. And that's all we're aiming for. 80 00:03:58,040 --> 00:04:01,280 We're also sponsored by Manscaped. 81 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,160 I was just recently speaking the celebrity friend. 82 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,080 Who was it again? I was speaking to what was it? 83 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,280 Who was I telling you about there? 84 00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:12,240 Craig Phillips, Big Brother 1 winner. 85 00:04:12,240 --> 00:04:14,840 Craig Phillips and I were having a conversation recently. 86 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,959 Yeah. And I said Craig wasn't like 87 00:04:16,959 --> 00:04:19,519 winning Big Brother and only he said, listen, before we get into 88 00:04:19,519 --> 00:04:23,920 that, he said I've got a problem with my undercarriage. 89 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:27,040 Craig has a lot of information. I've just met you. 90 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:31,520 And he said no, he goes, I've I've too much pubic hair. 91 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,440 And I said, Craig, I've just met. 92 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,160 Yeah. He said, mate, what can you help 93 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,000 me? And I said Big Brother 1 winner 94 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,280 Craig Phillips. I'm build celebrity builder. 95 00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:44,480 I said the only thing I could recommend for you is man 96 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,560 skipped. He said, what is that? 97 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,160 I said, Craig, they sponsor every podcast in the world. 98 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:53,120 It is a range of men's grooming products. 99 00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:55,360 I said, you're a man, Craig Phillips, winner, a Big Brother 100 00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:56,400 1. He said, yeah. 101 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:58,320 I said, Craig, I've got your back here. 102 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,520 I don't have your back. I've got your balls. 103 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,680 I've got, I've got your, your ears, your nose. 104 00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:07,120 I've got it's. A Peranium. 105 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,760 I've got his peranium. I don't know where that is. 106 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:12,680 I don't know if boys have. It's a bit between your your 107 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,080 arsh. Well then, definitely not well. 108 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,960 It might be between their deck and the rash, yeah. 109 00:05:17,200 --> 00:05:18,520 That, but is that called your peranium? 110 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:20,840 Something like that. Because you have to, yeah. 111 00:05:21,720 --> 00:05:25,880 I didn't know that Big Brother 1 winner Craig Phillips set even 112 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,320 my peranium. Can you help me? 113 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:33,640 And I said manscape.com they've got the lawnmower 4.0 which just 114 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:36,920 shaves your bets basically. And I gave Craig the perfect 115 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,320 performance package, Manscape send in manscape.com with the 116 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,760 code tea with me. And he phoned me up a week 117 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,000 later, even though this only happened a few days ago. 118 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,360 And he said, man, I can't believe it. 119 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,360 And I said, is this better than when I'm Big Brother 1? 120 00:05:49,360 --> 00:05:50,920 He said undoubtedly I've changed my life. 121 00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:55,800 Tea with me for 20% off on free shipping. manscape.com code is 122 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:58,480 in the description. For everyone giving off by the 123 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:03,040 length of these ads, shut up. Oh my God, so long, so long. 124 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:07,960 My guest today is rude, full stop. 125 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,240 What do you mean? Is there under? 126 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:12,320 Is there underlay on it? Looks like you've got felt or 127 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,480 about a carpet. But like, am I see as I'm in a 128 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:16,840 mirage? Am I seeing it funny? 129 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:19,160 What am I seeing it funny? Do you know that? 130 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:24,560 That's a dessert. Meringue do you know like? 131 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:28,640 It's a wacky design choice. Yeah, the shoes aren't just the 132 00:06:28,640 --> 00:06:30,200 bottom. Of the do you know what it is? 133 00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:35,040 It's turning 34 and looking for like I need crazy shoe, that's 134 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:38,040 what it is. Looking to jazz it up, all that 135 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,880 kind of thing. Do you think that's like a 136 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:42,960 psychologist sweat drain there? That's like what he lacks 137 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:45,880 somewhere in his life he's making up for in jazzy shoes. 138 00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:48,760 And he's making up up on this. What he lacks in his soul, he's 139 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:50,880 making up for in the soles of his shoes. 140 00:06:50,960 --> 00:06:53,360 Oh shit, that's. See, in fairness, I in the 141 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:55,360 images of them online, I didn't actually see the soul. 142 00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,440 So I so I didn't make a conscious decision to have a 143 00:06:57,440 --> 00:07:00,320 jazzy soul, but I could have gone to a cobbler, I'm sure, and 144 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:01,800 said listen. A cobbler? 145 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,440 Yeah. If you were in London in the 146 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,880 1940s, you could have gone to a cobbler. 147 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:08,160 What's wrong? Where is there a cobbler here? 148 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:11,360 In the past, but I could, I could conjure and back up. 149 00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:13,720 Yeah, I'm sure they're still Cobblers knocking about. 150 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:15,400 They have to, and they're doing. Clean. 151 00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,960 They're doing like shoes, like like proper like wedding shoes 152 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,200 and funeral shoes. That's probably the same shoes. 153 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:25,160 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Funeral shoes you. 154 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,280 Know your ones. You're like with them when they 155 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,000 and they are Uncle Jimmy's funeral. 156 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,680 Well, you can't think about the funeral. 157 00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,200 You can't have funeral shoes that are too shiny because 158 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:36,400 that's in some way feels disrespectful to the day. 159 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,160 Yes, doesn't it? Like too shiny? 160 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,000 Like, like I'm here at the funeral, but when it was going 161 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,200 to be acquired to you afterwards. 162 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:44,000 You know, you know it's a great night. 163 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:46,160 You know it also when it comes to the funeral for where you 164 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,840 know what you can't do Haley's. Is it? 165 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:50,160 Have you speaking from experience? 166 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:53,160 Yeah, when I skated in their uncle's funeral. 167 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,920 Remember Haley's? Fucking love Haley's. 168 00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:57,960 Really. I never had a pair right. 169 00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,320 I loved watching other people with more money than me on them. 170 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:04,440 That's a sad my my stepsons all had Haley's growing up. 171 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,800 They loved. They loved Haley. 172 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,200 Really, I thought it would have been even before their time. 173 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:09,880 They came back, Everything comes back. 174 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000 Everything, everything comes out again. 175 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,880 I think I was the honestly, I think I was the first guy here 176 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,440 to have him. Have a pair of Haley's. 177 00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:20,040 Yeah. And did you, we, we like, did 178 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,080 you wear them out for like, do you put on your rollerblades? 179 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,400 I'm going to go out for fun. Or were you wearing them for 180 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,560 like travel? Like for like getting places? 181 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,320 Where was I needing to go when I was? 182 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:32,559 Like this shop, like you put them on in the morning and 183 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:34,679 you're wearing them for the day or do you like go in and put 184 00:08:34,679 --> 00:08:36,039 them on? I'm going outside to play in 185 00:08:36,039 --> 00:08:38,080 Mahalies. Like they were shit because they 186 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,919 didn't look good as shoes as standalone shoes. 187 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:43,559 Plus when you brought the bottom out they probably got better as 188 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:45,560 time went on. But when I had the prototype 189 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:48,120 pair, don't know why I had the prototype pair, they were shit. 190 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:51,560 You couldn't actually really skate on them or glide. 191 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:54,320 Why didn't they make them nicer? They were primary coloured 192 00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,880 weren't they? They were like red, blue and 193 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,120 yellow. Mine were like your primary 194 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,920 colours. Mine were white and I had big 195 00:08:58,920 --> 00:09:00,520 feet anyway, so they were like big. 196 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:04,400 Clumpy size of your feet now. Forrest Gump Type shoes 11. 197 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,240 That's pretty normal, isn't it? Yeah. 198 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:11,320 Well no, because if you want see if you go into a shoe shop, all 199 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:16,320 the best shoes are 8 ninth. Once you get past 10 they don't 200 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,200 have the options aren't as good. No, I'm sure the options are 201 00:09:19,200 --> 00:09:21,400 there, but they're sold out because that's the most popular 202 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,600 sizes. That makes more sense. 203 00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,640 They didn't stop making shoes, so. 204 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:29,880 Hold on let me get this straight you're telling me the reason 205 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:31,920 aren't a lot elevens is because they go quicker? 206 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:35,000 Yes, either, but I'm going to say can we, can someone tell me 207 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:38,080 please what what is the average UK shoe size for a man? 208 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,160 You'd be surprised. What do you think it is? 209 00:09:40,160 --> 00:09:42,240 I'm going to say I'm, I'm going, I'm going to say it's an 8. 210 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,000 I'm going to say it's an 8. I thought it was an 8 but I 211 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,960 can't use the same thing as you so I'm going to say I'm going to 212 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,040 go for 9:00. What about when a guy has like, 213 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,280 not going to run around a pair of fours? 214 00:09:53,040 --> 00:10:02,280 That guy's going to fall over. Would you rather have really 215 00:10:02,280 --> 00:10:09,280 long feet to really long hands? I oh, I'd probably really have 216 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:12,280 what would like to have really long hands skip more shut up. 217 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:18,680 What do you look in the scoop? Feed, just feed people. 218 00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,080 Do you know what when you're, when you're a parent and you're 219 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,000 like, do you ever like have to like take the washing up the 220 00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:25,440 stairs and your child because your child can't be more than 221 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,280 one metre away from me and like. No, he likes the distance, so 222 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:31,840 he's told me that you take a washing up. 223 00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:34,680 I'll chill here, you know? I made the stair gate, yeah. 224 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:36,800 Can I? He's there like nothing. 225 00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,320 I've been nothing. I've been regulars only. 226 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,840 I'm going to ask you some quick fire questions just off the top 227 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,320 of my head. Are you scared of the dark? 228 00:10:42,440 --> 00:10:44,520 No. Do you like the books? 229 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,280 Do you like the books? Are you afraid of the dog? 230 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:47,880 Loved them, but I was afraid of those. 231 00:10:47,880 --> 00:10:49,720 Were you ever afraid? Were you ever afraid of the dog? 232 00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,840 Yes. When you stop being afraid of 233 00:10:51,840 --> 00:10:58,520 the dog. 3rd of January 19. I think I'm definitely. 234 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,000 Do you know why? Because I'm so realistic as a 235 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,240 person now that I'm like wise up. 236 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,120 Whatever's going to happen in the dark is going to happen in 237 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:04,680 the light as well. Do you know what I mean? 238 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,320 If I'm going to get bathered or burgled, it's going to help me 239 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,040 when the lights are on. Do you mean no burglars going to 240 00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:13,320 come on and be all you know? I've got the makeup on, turn the 241 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:15,160 lights off, you know what I mean? 242 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:17,920 Whatever is going to happen to me in the dark is going to 243 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:20,720 happen to me in the life. That's the most like defeatist 244 00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:22,120 thing. If they're going to get me, 245 00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:24,160 they're going to get me. Leaving your sleeping with your 246 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:27,880 door, front door. But you know, I did think 247 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,040 something I'm not. I don't really believe and go 248 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:32,400 snow, right? But every now and then I. 249 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:35,280 Do so weird to say I don't really, because that means you 250 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:36,720 do sometimes. I don't really. 251 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:38,920 I mean I'm not really into that. That means you do believe. 252 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:43,240 Sometimes there's no other answer, not for that situation. 253 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:47,280 But I'd love to hear the situation so keen. 254 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:52,640 So like a couple of times. So like once in my house so Sean 255 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:56,680 was away for the night and I heard this fucking banshee noise 256 00:11:56,680 --> 00:12:00,760 downstairs or proper like and like it was so loud like I 257 00:12:00,760 --> 00:12:02,360 jumped out of my bed middle of. The night. 258 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:04,160 Shed myself, yeah, Melanie, right. 259 00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,960 Shed myself really dark and I was like. 260 00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:10,960 What was annoys? It was like really bad and I 261 00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:16,360 went down and it took me about 20 miles to it was my cat fight 262 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,120 me in our cat through the French windows. 263 00:12:18,680 --> 00:12:21,120 Oh, I I think that was all made-up. 264 00:12:21,120 --> 00:12:22,840 Just a flex. You have, in your own words, 265 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:25,360 French windows. I don't even know what they are. 266 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:28,200 Do you know what I meant to say? What sliding doors? 267 00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,920 Oh, French doors. Yeah, French doors not. 268 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:34,200 French Windows. Just wait Windows little 269 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:37,760 moustaches. French window. 270 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,520 That's how you've got too much money if you've got French 271 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:41,920 windows. Yeah, I know. 272 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:48,480 But then other time like that I've just like so, for instance, 273 00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,040 Sean, I went and did like a paranormal tour of a house 274 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,160 called and a physical prehen house and dairy. 275 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,560 Have you ever heard of it? Right, It's this big manner that 276 00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:59,560 this like old guy used to live in sure got all mad shit on it, 277 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:01,040 right. It's so there's so many 278 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,400 expensive artefacts. I'm not that they can't insure 279 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,960 it because it's too expensive. Sounds like someday makeup. 280 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,360 Do you think so? Yeah. 281 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,240 Don't rob us. And then it's like, but they 282 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:15,880 have like king fucking bellies later and all like that, but 283 00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:19,760 just there's like random shit. Big man run about with Zippo. 284 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:25,160 Battle of the Boy, keep it up. I'm doing the weed trick. 285 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,520 My hair's cracker in it. They have all, all sorts of shit 286 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:32,440 in this place. And so we went around it and 287 00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:36,400 like, we went down with these paranormal terror people writing 288 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,440 an article. Pardon. 289 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:42,760 I'm sure they were. Yeah, they're weed machines. 290 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:51,920 Do it listening to noise, Bruce Forsyth And then do you like 291 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:55,560 anytime there's like a bottle 1 the rods and the rods go when 292 00:13:55,560 --> 00:13:57,520 you're like there might be, there might be. 293 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,760 A week I'm laughing about them. See, if I was in that situation 294 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,280 anything, I would definitely ship myself. 295 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:05,800 I I'm. That did you do the tour? 296 00:14:05,800 --> 00:14:07,560 Sorry to end up with other people. 297 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,920 No, just to use just us two. It was for it was for a 298 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,200 newspaper article also of another story to tell you about 299 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,640 the news. We had a column for the Sunday. 300 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:19,120 I think I might have been the Sunday life. 301 00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:21,040 I want to. No, it wasn't Sunday World. 302 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:23,680 It was Sunday life, right? I mean, we had six weeks. 303 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,800 We did six weeks right of a thing in each county. 304 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:29,040 So whenever we went to dairy, we did this. 305 00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:31,720 You can like literally Google. It's fucking ridiculous. 306 00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:32,960 It's so bad. The photographs. 307 00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,840 He sent this guy to do photographs with us and he made 308 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,880 us like creep out behind doors. Stop. 309 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,600 Yeah, he made. I would not have done. 310 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:46,480 That it is about 10 years ago creep out behind doors and all 311 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,280 and standing us here in the dark room like looking afraid. 312 00:14:49,280 --> 00:14:53,440 No right, but I was so I felt squandered for the paranormal 313 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,120 guys because I was like, why is up? 314 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,800 So I'm going to try to make them feel better. 315 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,920 So I later on that I was all I can definitely feel a wee 316 00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,640 presence on here and I appear was all like I oh fuck, did you 317 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:06,640 feel I was getting and it and then I convinced myself it was 318 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,800 like I'm definitely I haunted on here. 319 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:10,680 Yeah, you thought. You were haunted. 320 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:13,360 I was all I'm I'm fucking haunted on here. 321 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:16,800 And then the so we were just going round this house and like 322 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,040 they were, they were telling us about like. 323 00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,000 Was it nighttime? Yeah, it was like the dead of 324 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:20,880 night. It was like the middle of the 325 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:21,480 night. And they didn't. 326 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,920 They never locked up the house. Anybody wants to rob Brian 327 00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:28,280 House, they don't walk it. They don't lock it because. 328 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,960 Some fella on the way. Where is Zippo tonight? 329 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:32,760 The guy who owned the house who's dead now, right? 330 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:34,560 Because probably got haunted, right? 331 00:15:35,200 --> 00:15:37,680 Hey, how how he got in and out of his own house? 332 00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:39,760 Was he slid the living room window up. 333 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:41,560 It's a French window. It's. 334 00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,560 A French haunted window. That's how that man got into his 335 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:47,320 house. But come here, see the same 336 00:15:47,320 --> 00:15:49,240 articles that we've done right? But but sorry, what? 337 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,760 What happened? So really, did nothing happen in 338 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:55,240 this? Sean came away going. 339 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,120 I was the biggest petty bullshit ever and as all I think there's 340 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,960 a wee child in there should be ghost. 341 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,400 A wee ghost child apparently is loving on there and it's ma 342 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:04,880 right together. What's good to demise there, 343 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,280 too? Yeah, because it died as a 344 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,320 child, apparently. I think it might have been 345 00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:11,840 royalty of some sort. Have you ever heard of Half 346 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:12,520 Home? Not. 347 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,920 Pardon. Hung Mcnutt. 348 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,200 Half hung Mcnutt. Google half. 349 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,200 Sounds like a guy on a stag. Some sounds like a guy would 350 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,040 have it on the back of a polo shirt at the International 351 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,040 Airport having a few pints. Half Hung Mcnutt. 352 00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:27,800 Are you giggling at that? It's a proper thing. 353 00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:30,280 His name's McNaughton, but he fell in love. 354 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:32,560 This is this is 1000 billion years ago, right? 355 00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:36,720 Like maybe like 50 or something. And same thing. 356 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:41,080 He fell in love with this girl who lived in Prehen House, 357 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,520 right, right. This is like Manor. 358 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,520 Like fuck off Manor. Yeah, the French one, those now 359 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:51,320 we haunt the child and this man, but she was only like 16 or 17 360 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,640 or shot. And so he was always a massive 361 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,200 pedo. He was like a foul grown man. 362 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,040 Right. Say 4 feet. 363 00:16:56,600 --> 00:17:00,200 Yeah, it was really we I think it was really we as well, but he 364 00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:04,359 wanted to marry her and he and she was being like taken away by 365 00:17:04,359 --> 00:17:06,760 like John was a horse and carrots signs of carriage to 366 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,680 like Dublin or shopping hanger Dad was like we're getting 367 00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:09,800 ready. You could you keep trying to go? 368 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:13,400 We're man right. So the Haydock intercepted the 369 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,520 carriage stole her from it and they like eloped or some shit 370 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:17,800 like that. I can't remember the incidents 371 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,319 of it, but it got done for that right, because he's obviously 372 00:17:20,319 --> 00:17:21,640 not what you got there. It's bad. 373 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,880 So they home, but he doesn't die. 374 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:27,240 It was hot. And and the rules back then was 375 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,240 if they hung you and you survived, you get away with it. 376 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,080 Yeah. So he was called. 377 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:34,040 Everyone called him half home. Like not just running the town 378 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,200 and I was our fault. And there's 1/2 home, right? 379 00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:39,000 Which makes him Sonic. You want to get sick of Sammy 380 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:39,800 Boner or something? Doesn't. 381 00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,400 It it's the shit. It's the shit. 382 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,680 Yeah, it definitely sounds like he's erectile dysfunction. 383 00:17:43,720 --> 00:17:46,640 For yeah, I have home. But he, yeah, it's, I mean, it's 384 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,520 a, it's a long nickname. Half home, Mcnutt. 385 00:17:49,520 --> 00:17:54,360 Half home, Mcnutt. It's a lot of did you feel like 386 00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,680 you, did you feel him there or anything? 387 00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,520 Someone grew up my hole at one point and I was like, maybe I 388 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:06,000 had some, might have been the paranormal guy, might have been 389 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,280 the Turkey. I'd have like nuts here. 390 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:19,640 It's the ghost, but half of Mcnutt was a big thief or 391 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:22,240 something then and robbed somebody and then they did hang 392 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,160 him many years later and he did die. 393 00:18:25,160 --> 00:18:26,880 But it means. He was probably so smug going 394 00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,920 into it. Yeah, I've tried this before. 395 00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:30,480 Yeah. And he's like, he's like this. 396 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,760 And then they're all laughing, like, wait, wait. 397 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,040 And he's, they're like, oh, he's, he's. 398 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:37,160 Going to come round. He's been a week. 399 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,920 Three hours later, everyone's had no where. 400 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,280 If you want to. So that was one week of the 401 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,760 fucking of the six counties thing, right, And the other one 402 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:48,880 we done was I can't believe I'm going to say this right, but we 403 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:54,080 lied what you said. So we says that we would spend 404 00:18:54,080 --> 00:18:55,440 that. Sean will kill me for telling 405 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,920 this. He we says we would spend the 406 00:18:57,920 --> 00:19:01,360 night on like an island, namely Wallaby Islands nearby. 407 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,520 Rathlin. Not Rathlin, but just like one 408 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,040 of those. Tory Island. 409 00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:07,440 One of them, right? Right. 410 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,320 And Rams Island, Maybe this is another one. 411 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:16,040 Oh, like with nothing on it. Oh, completely uninhabited, just 412 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,160 like a bit of land. And so you. 413 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:23,160 Say to the paper, we'll go by ourselves, off your own accord, 414 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:23,880 sort of. You'll go. 415 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:27,840 So they sent us to the bushcraft course, which we did. 416 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,640 Learned how to make a fire, make a hot like make a Dick of 417 00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:33,360 ourselves. He told us how to do all that 418 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:34,640 stuff. And we thought, oh we can 419 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,920 survive the night night in this place, so we are fine. 420 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,720 Was that we were going to go out and spend the night on this 421 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,240 island with nothing. We were going to just bring a 422 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:46,480 litre of water. We were going to document it, 423 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,160 but obviously they couldn't say. Because you had all the skills. 424 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,120 Oh, because we had all the skills when you had to survive, 425 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:52,920 right? And I heard there was chickens 426 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:54,360 on there and I was like, we'll kill one of them. 427 00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:57,920 And. Then I think they were like, I 428 00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,400 think the sort of like, I don't know if you're allowed to kill 429 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,280 the chickens on there because I think someone daws on them. 430 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,240 And I was like, yeah, we'll see about that, yeah. 431 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:06,840 So anyway, we went out. No, no, no, we didn't go. 432 00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,000 We like wrote the article as if we'd we were like so tired. 433 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,080 We were like, could you be fucked? 434 00:20:11,320 --> 00:20:13,920 There's no, there's no photographer coming, right? 435 00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:18,080 So they'll never know, right. So we made-up the article and 436 00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,920 it's in the Sunday life. You can fucking giggle. 437 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:22,960 It so literally fake news. Oh, fake news, we wrote. 438 00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:26,000 It was always very cold and then we're running after the wee 439 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:29,440 chickens trying to catch the chickens like we made it up. 440 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:32,440 And you didn't feel and that was printed in the newspaper. 441 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:36,560 I got paid for it. Well, that's going to, there's 442 00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,200 going to be an investigation reopened. 443 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:39,720 Yeah, Yeah. That's why the. 444 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,560 Other coin is you're going to go what the fuck she was a Todd 445 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:43,320 sleep anyway. She went. 446 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:44,520 Is that what you went for, the other one? 447 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:45,160 Yeah. Yeah. 448 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:47,320 I did a gig there. Did she? 449 00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:50,080 Yeah, on the right daughter. Did you pretend it was like 450 00:20:50,320 --> 00:20:54,080 yours? Oh yeah, we did this thing in it 451 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,880 where we arrived there early and we're shooting like a vlog. 452 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,960 So we'll say, oh, we'll do the clay pigeon shooting and all the 453 00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:01,800 activities they have and they have this thing where you just 454 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:04,880 like you walk up all these steps and then just walk out of the 455 00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:07,080 height and fall under a big like blow up thing. 456 00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:11,880 So we did it and the guy goes, you've got to you've got to do 457 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,840 the smallest one and then if you can land OK, you get to go up to 458 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,040 the next one and then the next one, top one's really high. 459 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:20,560 So we did the first one. He's like, you know, cross your 460 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:23,040 arms, fall in a certain way. Everyone did it. 461 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:25,120 He's like, Yep, all good. You can move it to the next one. 462 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:28,840 Williams with us right now, he goes, does anyone have any 463 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,120 mobility issues running like that? 464 00:21:30,120 --> 00:21:32,840 Williams like actually I have cerebral palsy and the guy goes, 465 00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,840 well, it's up to you if you want to do it, but it is quite high 466 00:21:35,840 --> 00:21:36,920 and Williams like, no, I'll do it. 467 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,040 And Williams like really excited. 468 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:42,320 I did the first jump and I was like, it's actually quite like 469 00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,480 relatively high. And what if you land a certain 470 00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,520 way and William goes, I'm just going to, I'm going to fuck 471 00:21:46,520 --> 00:21:48,360 myself out all this. He's like, I love it. 472 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,280 And he was like, because he's like quite short too. 473 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,160 He just looked like a wee like partial or something. 474 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,480 Like you just. You just drop himself out of it 475 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,120 and land and I. We did. 476 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:01,240 The first two do. You go on your front. 477 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:04,480 You land on your back. OK, So I did the first two and 478 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:06,720 then my neck, I like hurt my neck or something. 479 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,160 I was like, this is like not right. 480 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,560 And then I thought everyone had stopped doing it. 481 00:22:10,880 --> 00:22:13,320 And as I was like walking into the gig to the sound check, out 482 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:17,520 of the corner of my eye, I just saw Willy jump out from about 70 483 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,920 feet and I saw his face on the way down. 484 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,360 It felt like slow motion. He looked at me and he loved it. 485 00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,280 So that's like, that's the only time I've been there, but. 486 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,320 I was still doing it. Yeah. 487 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,120 Would you sleep out rough on an island? 488 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:29,200 I don't think I would do that. No interest in camping. 489 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:30,960 Like you say, why would you do it? 490 00:22:31,000 --> 00:22:32,800 Why would you? Me and my brother went camping 491 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,440 once and we we were watching some Bear Grylls thing. 492 00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:37,200 We're like, let's go to totally more for the night because it's 493 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:41,200 the same thing. And we went and spent like the 494 00:22:41,200 --> 00:22:43,280 day in Newcastle and it was really good. 495 00:22:43,280 --> 00:22:45,880 Had lunch and all. Got back, started to get a wee 496 00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,760 bit cold. We just got into the tent and I 497 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,280 went we could just and he's like, can we go home? 498 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,560 Lastly, yeah, no one's ever going to know that we didn't 499 00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,720 stay. So he got KFC and just went home 500 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:56,920 and. Said I've done that a few times. 501 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,800 Like this is infinitely better and I like taking some company 502 00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,400 at some point, but if at any time he looks around at me and 503 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,360 goes, we just head on here, I'll go. 504 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,840 Absolutely you have that either your cars there. 505 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:12,560 Camping is a good idea but but it's it can be shit all the day. 506 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,080 All the stuff during the day is brilliant. 507 00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:16,040 I don't even think it's a good idea. 508 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:19,240 I don't understand why you would want to sleep outside where it's 509 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,920 definitely colder. Yeah, and definitely less 510 00:23:21,920 --> 00:23:23,280 comfortable. And the light comes in in the 511 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,000 morning. And is there anything more 512 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:30,680 disgusting on this planet than condensation inside a tent die 513 00:23:30,920 --> 00:23:33,600 off? It's fucking rotten, That watery 514 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:35,920 shite on the. Entire move. 515 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,160 Which is also minging because you know when you open your 516 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,040 washing machine door and there's condensation? 517 00:23:41,040 --> 00:23:43,200 The glass. My daughter likes it like an 518 00:23:43,440 --> 00:23:47,680 absolute retrobate. Can I offer some words? 519 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:50,080 Yeah, get her checked out. Just don't let her do it. 520 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:52,960 She it keeps her. How strong is she? 521 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:55,760 You're like, we can't stop her. Why are you opening it like 522 00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:56,760 this? But come on, you wanna? 523 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:58,400 I have an open check in the wash night. 524 00:23:58,400 --> 00:24:02,880 She's just, they're all she's having fun chain. 525 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,400 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave her to it. 526 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,160 Fair. I am, yeah. 527 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,680 I just, I wouldn't be a big company. 528 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:10,480 I loved it whenever I was a kid, but just once. 529 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,600 When you're in a house, sometimes you just go away, but. 530 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,400 We've been camping once and it was like our proper holiday. 531 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,360 Holiday. We went to, I think we went to 532 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:20,560 Galway because we went and visited William Butler Yates's 533 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:23,680 grave. So much fun. 534 00:24:24,160 --> 00:24:25,760 Yeah. Why'd you go? 535 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:28,640 Whose? Grave No. 536 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:31,480 William Butler Yates. WB Eights Yeah. 537 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,840 Why did you make me second? He was a. 538 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,680 Writer. Yeah, would be right. 539 00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,880 Yeah, you know the eights stuff. What do you write guys? 540 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,280 So you travel all the way to Galway to visit the grave of a 541 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,960 famous author who you're not like a fan of. 542 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:47,400 I'm like 7 my mind. I thought you meant you and 543 00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,400 Sean. Oh, no, no. 544 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,120 I was like, that's. 10 out of. 10 No, No, no, no, no, no, no. 545 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,160 We're not that interesting. What did he write? 546 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,720 Stuff I don't know. Lots of stuff. 547 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:57,920 Lots of stuff. This is we. 548 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,160 We'd have to. That's one of those things where 549 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:03,480 you go, oh, Yeats and all these writers and I'm so impressed. 550 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:04,720 You go. I don't know. 551 00:25:04,720 --> 00:25:06,280 I don't actually. I don't know. 552 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,360 Yeah, it's clear. But then could you name any 553 00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:11,080 Shakespeare place? Yeah. 554 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:12,760 Shakespeare shake the. Wasn't he? 555 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:16,840 100%. 100. Percent too long stories are too 556 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:18,800 long. If you told me the the outline 557 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:20,200 of the story go that's pretty good. 558 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:23,160 There's two it's. A short movie. 559 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,680 It's a short film, Yeah. It's like 8 minutes top. 560 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,520 Yeah, and the way it's written, Stupid. 561 00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:29,360 Yes. What is the crack with the 562 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:32,680 iambic pentameter? That's what that is, that 10 563 00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:35,640 cell, the 10 syllable sentences. Yeah, yeah, dude. 564 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:38,120 And, and like, do you know, whatever you hear people going, 565 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,920 oh, that's he's a brilliant Shakespearean actor. 566 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:42,680 And you go, how do you be a shite one? 567 00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:44,760 How do you be a shit? What's the difference between a 568 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,680 good and a bad one? There's the words, and you say 569 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,680 them. Just have the word tight, that's 570 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:50,920 it. And say like, oh, instead of 571 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,000 like I asked her, I asked of her. 572 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,760 Yeah, that's it. That's all he was doing. 573 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,320 He was just changing words up a bit. 574 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,360 You. Shit, he's so quotable in 575 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:00,880 everyday life. Do you know you do? 576 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:02,800 Like thou doth protesteth too much. 577 00:26:03,120 --> 00:26:05,560 Which means, right? You did that too, didn't you 578 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,760 know what I mean? Is that not what people say 579 00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:13,000 about if someone if someone, if if you, if someone's like I'm 580 00:26:13,000 --> 00:26:16,200 I'm actually not gay at all. Yes, people go the lady does 581 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,720 protest too much. That's it. 582 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:19,520 That's good. Like if you're banging on about 583 00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,400 it, if you're like, I'm not gay, I'm not. 584 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:22,800 He's so gay. Like gay? 585 00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:24,040 No. I fell and on. 586 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:28,040 It was just, yeah, I landed on. I didn't know. 587 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,800 I might know there were round my ankles because I thought there 588 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,640 was a wasp and all in the drunks. 589 00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,200 And then, yeah, it's like that. In a way, I shot you. 590 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:43,320 Even like in Shakespeare, like not like RJ. 591 00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:47,920 Brilliant. Yeah, the movie is because we 592 00:26:47,920 --> 00:26:51,240 call her Danes. Claire Danes from homeland. 593 00:26:52,720 --> 00:26:54,880 Romeo Julietes unreal but a lot of them are shit. 594 00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:59,960 I there's whatever, like Lady Macbeth, that's another one that 595 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,640 I don't really know what happens on it, but. 596 00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,880 Not just Macbeth. Oh, it's Macbeth. 597 00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:04,880 See. Yeah. 598 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:11,040 See, it's but it's 2022, so. Like I'm just not, I'm just not. 599 00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:14,840 Like I, I started it slightly at university and was like, can we 600 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,280 all agree this is shit? I think everyone thinks it, but 601 00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,560 no one's saying it. People can't. 602 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:20,720 People can't say it. Did you act in any plays like 603 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,000 that? Shakespeare One. 604 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:22,880 Yeah. No. 605 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,960 Do you know what I did? A Midsummer Night's Dream. 606 00:27:25,360 --> 00:27:26,520 Is that Shakespeare? Yeah. 607 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:31,200 Yeah. Whenever I was in secondary 608 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:35,600 school and back in Magalith. MAGA. 609 00:27:35,680 --> 00:27:39,800 O7. And BCM, we're not down. 610 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,600 They're not down, ladies. And gentlemen, Titania, that's 611 00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,040 the only thing I know, because that's her name. 612 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:49,480 That's a titanium. Imagine just BCM just shuts down 613 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:53,080 at midnight, the music DJ Sammy stops and they go, folks, we're 614 00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:54,760 going to take an hour and a half here. 615 00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,280 Yeah, sure, We get here once. Did you give me? 616 00:27:56,280 --> 00:28:04,480 But she's come a long way. The French doors open on stage 617 00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:07,040 and you walk out. But I do what though? 618 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,240 I was raging because I know that wasn't even that play. 619 00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:13,800 It was was it that play? It was a GCSE play that we done. 620 00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:16,160 And it was, it was BLOB Brothers. 621 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:17,760 BLOB Brothers. Yeah, yeah. 622 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,560 Fucking that's a that's a queer show because it's got something 623 00:28:20,560 --> 00:28:22,920 on it keeps entertained. That's what Shakespeare needed. 624 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:25,200 Yeah, when the bits get boring, break out a song. 625 00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,920 But in some Shakespeare they're singing, like in Romeo and 626 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,680 Juliet, there's that song Sixpence on the Richer. 627 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:32,240 Yes. That's in it. 628 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,760 And he wrote also, people think Shakespeare was a woman. 629 00:28:36,040 --> 00:28:39,880 People think Shakespeare was a What's the word when you write 630 00:28:39,880 --> 00:28:41,040 under an alias? Synonym. 631 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:43,080 No, that's you put in a porridge. 632 00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,560 No, but that pseudonym, pseudonym, pseudonym. 633 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:48,520 What did I say cinnamon? Did I say cinnamon? 634 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:50,680 I thought you said cinnamon pseudonym like another word. 635 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:53,080 What's what's the difference in a synonym and a pseudonym? 636 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:55,840 A pseudonym is a name that you write under. 637 00:28:55,920 --> 00:28:58,680 I think that's not your name. But people thought that some 638 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,440 woman was writing these plays. But at the time, women were 639 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:04,600 allowed to be professional writers or be actors. 640 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:10,240 So she pretended to be William Shakespeare, or possibly Wendy, 641 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,480 some fella she knows called William Shakespeare. 642 00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:14,360 She was like. You'll get a few quid out of 643 00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:15,600 this bro. Barbara something else. 644 00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:17,320 And she was all here, Barbara. Something else. 645 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:21,640 Imagine you'd be like, he's a great Barbara Something else 646 00:29:21,640 --> 00:29:23,960 actor. Yeah, yeah, he's well. 647 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:26,440 That's probably why she couldn't release under her name, because 648 00:29:26,440 --> 00:29:27,880 her name was Barbara Something. Else yeah. 649 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:30,080 So she went to him maybe, and was all here. 650 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,120 Can you pretend these are these? These are written by you. 651 00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:35,160 What else is considered really good? 652 00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:37,680 But when we break it down, it isn't that good. 653 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:39,760 A lot of art I. Ain't going to say something. 654 00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:43,040 But can I just say something like the Mona Lisa? 655 00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:45,320 Do you know it's better than that? 656 00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:47,800 Any good caricature? Yeah. 657 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:48,960 What about when you're on holiday? 658 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,000 The guys 7 minutes with you? He's like, you go well, 659 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,280 actually, me, you're that big. Yeah. 660 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:55,040 We don't speak English. That's better because he's doing 661 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:55,880 it on the. Hoop, I agree. 662 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:57,680 So much art is. Brilliant. 663 00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:58,920 I'm doing more than who? Who? 664 00:29:59,040 --> 00:30:01,600 Who drew them on? Who painted them through the 665 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:02,200 middle? Lisa. 666 00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:04,960 Neil Buchanan. No. 667 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:09,880 That's not Monet, no Picasso. Davinci. 668 00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:11,640 Did he Davinci? Davinci. 669 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:16,000 So like, what else did he do? You mean 1 hot wonder? 670 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:18,720 No, he had other, he had other bangers like. 671 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,560 But this is the thing like people like I have loved it my 672 00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:24,240 whole life, but once somebody pointed out to me it's quite 673 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:27,760 shite and I'm like oh friends, friends is great. 674 00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,360 But when you break it down, it's actually about shit. 675 00:30:30,640 --> 00:30:34,200 I think we just got caught up in it being one of those things 676 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:38,160 where everyone was talked to, be involved in conversations in the 677 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,280 playground. You had to have watched Friends. 678 00:30:40,280 --> 00:30:43,920 They've seen Friends, Yeah, And you almost got, like, wrapped up 679 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:45,680 in their lives. So you're maybe watching more 680 00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,520 for that. And you thought it was funny, 681 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:50,560 but it's like, you ever see a show without a laughter track, a 682 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,360 sitcom where they have a laugh track and take it away? 683 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,520 But then I think no matter how good it was, when you take the 684 00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,520 laugh track away, you're watching it because a laughter 685 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,560 track tells you like it's funny. Yeah, this bits funny. 686 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:01,880 Even if it is. Funny. 687 00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:03,040 You know what? Laughter tracks work. 688 00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,400 No, they're doing people go all the fake, all the canned 689 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:10,440 laughter. You cannot pet, can't laughter 690 00:31:10,640 --> 00:31:14,520 on something that there wasn't actually laughter for I. 691 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:17,840 Think someone's told you that? No, yeah, they won't walk out, 692 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:20,560 but. Why would you not be able to 693 00:31:20,760 --> 00:31:22,600 like? Who's going to be like, no. 694 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:25,880 Maybe it's just for the BBC because they're like people pay 695 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,920 for that, like the public purse pay for that. 696 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:32,680 But I don't know if it's like so they said to me like they people 697 00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:34,680 have to have laughed at those certain points. 698 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,000 They can't just like fuck laughed. 699 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,480 They can't suggest to you when you're supposed to laugh. 700 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,520 So they'll screen it to an audience or play it in front of 701 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:44,360 or record it in front of live audience and the live audience 702 00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:45,920 will laugh and they record that laughter. 703 00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:48,000 But then you can tell that up as much as you want and add loads 704 00:31:48,200 --> 00:31:49,640 more in. But you have to have recorded 705 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:52,560 like somebody laughing. Right, right. 706 00:31:52,720 --> 00:31:54,800 Because you can't say to the audience. 707 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:56,120 People would laugh at that if they weren't. 708 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:58,920 Get you, get you. Well, with your track record of 709 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:01,760 like your journalism, you'd be like, get it in anyway even 710 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:03,200 though it didn't happen, you know? 711 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:05,280 Yeah, put see that, but they're at the funeral. 712 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:11,600 He comes on me as we release. There's so much overrated, and 713 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:14,800 people just don't want to say it's not good. 714 00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:18,160 Yeah, Like, yeah, like films, TV shows, but there's also just 715 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:25,800 like, like, seeds on, on, on breakfast stuff, brunch things, 716 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,640 seeds on the top. I will fucking cattle. 717 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,000 No, I'll disagree. Be there. 718 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:33,480 Get out. That's a plant that deserves to 719 00:32:33,480 --> 00:32:37,240 be in a pot in the garden. It tastes like a plant, like a 720 00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,360 stem. Nutritionally it's good for you, 721 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:43,920 but think of the avocado as it's, it's, it's a if if you 722 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,480 have toast with avocado on it, it's doing the job of the the 723 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:49,400 moist. It's the moist stuff on that, 724 00:32:49,400 --> 00:32:51,760 but also the moist maker. Yeah, but also it doesn't taste 725 00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,160 good or bad, but you can accessorise it I think. 726 00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,240 Why would you have it if it doesn't taste good or bad? 727 00:32:58,240 --> 00:32:59,880 Because really good for you. But. 728 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,960 It's really good for you. Yeah, but it's the texture I'm 729 00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,000 not a fan of. I'm not getting like, I think 730 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:08,440 the avocado thing became such a big happy that be like it became 731 00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:14,600 gin flavoured gins. I don't like a flavour gym but 732 00:33:14,600 --> 00:33:18,680 I'll take a the. Gin thing gins gin fucking Jenna 733 00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,240 Clock go fucking suck a cock like it just became. 734 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:24,560 Jenna Clock, go suck a cock. Yeah. 735 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:28,600 That's Gordon's new slogan. Suck a cock. 736 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:30,440 I just became SO. I know what you mean. 737 00:33:30,520 --> 00:33:32,800 Fashionable. And you're like, oh fuck off. 738 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:34,320 Do you know what I? Thought I bought you a bottle of 739 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,920 second I'm. Just going to say brought to get 740 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:39,360 know this. Can I just double check? 741 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:41,640 So here's the thing. When you walked in, you had some 742 00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:42,560 gift bags. Yeah. 743 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,520 And I thought, oh, it was my birthday just passed there. 744 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,400 And then I noticed that you were like. 745 00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,360 Giving gifts to these guys as well. 746 00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,400 Yeah, put your gun down. We're trying to. 747 00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:56,280 It Peter Pointer. We're trying to recall that 748 00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:01,320 sounds like a pervert. And so, yeah, so you just, you 749 00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:03,120 just. Well, so my car was in my 750 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:06,880 podcast is is launching this week and it's you guys are 751 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,120 producing it and one else to do so I've got easy we gift. 752 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,960 So that's just Prosecco lovely and me talking about fucking 753 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:15,679 fashionable drinks. But there's another reboot on 754 00:34:15,679 --> 00:34:22,800 there that. Yeah, Tesco brand Home Office 755 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:23,880 glue sticks. So like. 756 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:28,360 You don't need to emphasise that it's Tesco brand, right? 757 00:34:28,760 --> 00:34:30,239 It's. But you had a choice. 758 00:34:30,239 --> 00:34:33,040 At some point you could have got me original brand pretty stick. 759 00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:33,960 Well, I'll tell you in a wee SEC. 760 00:34:34,159 --> 00:34:38,480 Well, you got that because you're the glue that keeps one 761 00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:43,280 else to do together. But with this, because it's 762 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,000 Tesco brown, that probably won't keep it together. 763 00:34:45,679 --> 00:34:47,679 For a for a short period of time, everything's got a shelf 764 00:34:47,679 --> 00:34:48,719 life. Right. 765 00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:53,639 You see, I think they they would take exception to this. 766 00:34:53,760 --> 00:34:55,239 We'll see. They don't see me as the glue. 767 00:34:55,520 --> 00:35:00,920 Well it's only because we're on camera, but I got Dan proper 768 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:02,120 brand. Have you seen in yours? 769 00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:05,240 Proper brand topics. I doesn't even know brand 770 00:35:05,240 --> 00:35:06,920 because Tesco don't do on brand topics right? 771 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:09,280 So how to spend 3 fucking pound on his? 772 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:12,560 Why is why is Dan the tipics? Because Dan can delete the shit 773 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:14,480 you don't want in the fucking podcast. 774 00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,920 But then if you scratch just a wee bit, you'll get it. 775 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:20,600 Yeah, like that back. Nothing's gone forever. 776 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,360 It's on his hard drive. And what, what, what did you 777 00:35:24,360 --> 00:35:27,080 get, Michael? Michael got, well, his is double 778 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:31,000 there's he's got a sharpener because he can sharpen the image 779 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:35,280 and a rubber because he can also erase the shit that you want 780 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:36,560 deleted. Right. 781 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:38,960 That's great. They also got a second, by the 782 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:39,960 way. Right, right, right. 783 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:42,960 And that's just, that's not symbolic, that's just to drink. 784 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:46,240 Well, that's that's to drink. Yeah, that's or like when your 785 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:49,280 first episode comes out, we'll do like a Formula One podium 786 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:50,040 type thing. Yeah. 787 00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:51,920 When's your podcast out? Is it? 788 00:35:51,920 --> 00:35:55,680 No, it was out last week. It was out last Thursday. 789 00:35:55,760 --> 00:36:00,320 Oh, when this was out, yeah, I was all as I went out to him, 790 00:36:00,320 --> 00:36:03,560 even fucking pushed. No fanfare at all? 791 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,720 No, it's just up. So give me back up for a second. 792 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,560 So it's out last Thursday. So it's out as we speak. 793 00:36:10,560 --> 00:36:12,800 So there's an episode out right now with Gemma Garrett and Patty 794 00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:14,680 McDonnell. It's 2 episodes right right now. 795 00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,960 It's called. It's called Remember When with 796 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,920 Diona Doherty, and it's on the places where you get your 797 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:20,760 podcasts. Right. 798 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:22,120 Why you? Why you? 799 00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:25,880 Why you call? Remember when don't know well, 800 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,760 well it is. It's called Remember when 801 00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:30,440 because you talk about. It's called remember when, 802 00:36:30,440 --> 00:36:33,400 because I asked my guests to remember when something happened 803 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,120 in pop culture history that had some sort of an impact on their 804 00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:38,000 life. It's very, very vague. 805 00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:39,080 It's unnecessary. You. 806 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:40,720 Didn't even. Really just needed a title. 807 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,200 Well, because you, you asked me mine towards the very end of the 808 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:45,400 record, and then I started to talk about it and you just 809 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,080 wrapped me up. You were like, Nah, it's OK, 810 00:36:47,080 --> 00:36:49,560 it's all good. And always like, I like, I 811 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,240 regularly look over and dance all you have to ask them all. 812 00:36:52,240 --> 00:36:53,960 Oh, I remember that there. What have you? 813 00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,280 What have you had like? Well, it's like, what cultural 814 00:36:56,280 --> 00:36:58,800 events have you had? So the ones that right now, so 815 00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:03,360 Gemma was talking about Britney Spears ABS and her music videos 816 00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:06,160 that led her and her sister to go on a mission to get ABS right 817 00:37:06,520 --> 00:37:09,920 failed miserably. I don't know. 818 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,840 She didn't. She didn't show. 819 00:37:11,840 --> 00:37:17,600 She didn't show me. Kerry Quinn is coming up in a 820 00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,000 few weeks time. She forgot. 821 00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,800 She didn't think of anything. She was all what, as I didn't 822 00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:23,600 listen to my voice. No. 823 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:24,240 Right. What? 824 00:37:24,240 --> 00:37:25,880 It was Paddy's. Does anybody remember Paddy's? 825 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,800 Oh, Paddy's was like, yeah. So there's been a few months, 826 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,360 but yeah, it's very less. It's just, I think the podcast 827 00:37:32,360 --> 00:37:33,880 is an opportunity for me to go to the house. 828 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,720 Shane. Right, that's what people want 829 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:38,240 to hear, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 830 00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:41,440 Remember, who would you love to have all who would be like the 831 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:45,440 best guest ever ever. Steve Carell. 832 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:47,480 Give me one realistic and one not realistic. 833 00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:53,720 Steve Carell is the realistic, realistic Joey is coming on. 834 00:37:53,720 --> 00:37:55,680 He was in there, no blasters. Last week was. 835 00:37:56,120 --> 00:38:00,840 It off. He was, he was, he was in a 836 00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:05,000 Crusaders top just sitting with Karen, Karen's like, you know, 837 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,760 he was like Karen, do you want me to tell you all about the 838 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:07,600 history of the office? I'll. 839 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:11,200 Care, do you know who's caught on next month? 840 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:12,880 I'm really excited about Charlie Lawson. 841 00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:14,280 Oh yeah. Yeah. 842 00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:18,080 See for a second, I've got yours from music Karen in that second. 843 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,800 And I was like, you're gonna play FIFA with Jim McDonald? 844 00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:22,840 No. Right. 845 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:24,120 OK. That'll be interesting. 846 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:28,080 So a realistic guest would be. Someone like you'd love to get 847 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,680 on and actually is quite realistic. 848 00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:32,880 Maybe they're from here or you've got some link to them 849 00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:35,200 somehow? I think wouldn't name me some 850 00:38:35,200 --> 00:38:36,320 class. You're trying to get Lame Nason 851 00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:37,200 on your team, aren't you? Yeah. 852 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:38,760 Would you not love, But Neeson. Yeah. 853 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:42,760 Also seriously, he's a massive tea drinker. 854 00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:45,320 I read about it. On. 855 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,240 My life. Right, here's what we do. 856 00:38:47,240 --> 00:38:50,400 Then let's create. Now Thompson's can help us out 857 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:53,040 with this. We get like a load of punches, 858 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,320 you know, about 440 bucks. Post them to his house. 859 00:38:56,320 --> 00:38:57,520 Nope, Nope. Don't do that. 860 00:38:57,560 --> 00:38:59,320 Find out where he is. Find out where he is. 861 00:38:59,440 --> 00:39:02,360 Start a trail. Start at He's going to pick them 862 00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:03,560 up. He's going to fall and end up 863 00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:06,320 here. No, I don't like, I don't know 864 00:39:06,320 --> 00:39:08,680 how much his bladder is going to be able to take because he's I 865 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,520 think if he loves to that much, he use everyone, he'd make a 866 00:39:11,520 --> 00:39:14,080 fresh cup. But he's going to get there and 867 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,000 pointed one of oil and water have to go back, and then he's 868 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:17,400 going to lose his way because he's not. 869 00:39:17,880 --> 00:39:21,600 He's getting older, isn't he? I believe most of us are. 870 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,640 Yeah, but also older. But that doesn't stop that man 871 00:39:25,640 --> 00:39:28,240 from catching the bodies. Good luck The Age trying to 872 00:39:28,240 --> 00:39:30,440 catch up with Liam Neeson because by the time it gets 873 00:39:30,440 --> 00:39:32,480 there. He will bet that. 874 00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:33,960 That's why I'll never be an action *. 875 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:37,880 That was quite good. It was quite good because that 876 00:39:37,880 --> 00:39:39,640 was a double hit. Do you know there is nothing 877 00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:41,560 better than getting a pack of mix and sitting down to watch a 878 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:43,760 Liam Neeson movie? Yeah, any of them. 879 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:46,280 Any Liam Neeson. We're competing to try and get 880 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:47,520 them on. No, but I would sit down. 881 00:39:47,520 --> 00:39:49,480 I would always have a three course meal to sit down and 882 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:50,640 watch them. You do what? 883 00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:52,480 I would have a three course dinner to sit down and watch 884 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:53,280 them. Oh, would you? 885 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:54,560 Yeah, because we're trying to do each other. 886 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,880 Get Liam Neeson. Oh yeah, yeah, you can come on 887 00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,520 yours if he wants. It's not. 888 00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,360 Good. I would, I would, I would, I 889 00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:01,800 would love to have them on. Do you know what? 890 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:06,480 Yeah, I think part of it is. You know, say like, you know, 891 00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,400 he's probably done a load of podcast, but maybe like on Zoom. 892 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:13,680 Or I don't know if he has Shane. I'd say he's done some I think 893 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,000 people in their. Heads TV shows. 894 00:40:20,440 --> 00:40:22,480 I know what ATV show is, I've tried to. 895 00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,880 Be look at that TV show called Good Morning Bro. 896 00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:26,720 Look at that podcast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 897 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:36,920 But I think people think they're a certain thing or they're 898 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:39,600 either going to be ultra serious or because I'm a comedian doing 899 00:40:39,600 --> 00:40:41,320 it, but I'm going to sit and take the piss. 900 00:40:41,640 --> 00:40:44,400 And you're sort of like, we we need a Trojan horse. 901 00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:47,760 I need someone in that goes, I don't normally do this. 902 00:40:47,760 --> 00:40:50,040 And here it was actually like, it wasn't what I thought it was 903 00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:52,080 going to be. Yeah, I think it might be the 904 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:55,040 Trojan horse. Oh would be great. 905 00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,960 We've we've flirted with. Have these messaged him? 906 00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:00,200 Have you gotten? There's been a, there's, there's 907 00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:02,480 been a back and forth look. Do you want me to message 908 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:03,400 member? Used to go with my ma. 909 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,160 That's. Right hurt my ma. 910 00:41:05,400 --> 00:41:07,640 That's right. He slapped the tongue and all 911 00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:10,120 Donna's, all Donna's mouth, A few things. 912 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:17,400 It took too long in between us. I was deciding where he's loved 913 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:22,880 it. No, I'm just picturing like a 914 00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:29,840 really like frog's tongue. That's really the bullfrog, but. 915 00:41:30,840 --> 00:41:33,000 Lizard. He's standing on a lollipop. 916 00:41:35,320 --> 00:41:37,720 But yeah, anyone who was maybe going to come on and didn't or 917 00:41:37,720 --> 00:41:39,960 didn't respond to me like Joe likes it was here doing some 918 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,120 shows. I don't know him, but I fired 919 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:42,360 him. I met him once at the Fringe for 920 00:41:42,360 --> 00:41:43,520 like. Yeah, I asked them could I do 921 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,320 warm up to Didn't respond. Oh really? 922 00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:47,000 I asked them all. Shane. 923 00:41:49,240 --> 00:41:50,640 I asked. You're going to be 80. 924 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:52,440 I asked them all when they were here. 925 00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:53,920 Yeah. Yes, Catherine. 926 00:41:53,920 --> 00:41:58,200 Nobody would have me and I was raging because so she, I, I. 927 00:41:58,320 --> 00:41:59,480 She what was she doing? Ulster Hall. 928 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,600 Ulster Hall and I went to see your show, but my agent got in 929 00:42:01,600 --> 00:42:05,400 touch with her agent and her like the promotional company. 930 00:42:05,400 --> 00:42:08,280 He's doing her turn and stuff. I can't remember his and I don't 931 00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:13,200 like it was taken right and and they were like, oh, Catherine 932 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:16,040 Cheeses like usually like a friend who's a comedian to do 933 00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:17,440 her warm up. But I went fair enough, you 934 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:20,240 would grant. But then I was like, well, who's 935 00:42:20,240 --> 00:42:23,760 our friend in Belfast? So but then I thought, well, she 936 00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:25,400 might fly someone with her. But then I thought she got a 937 00:42:25,400 --> 00:42:28,160 young family. She might not anyway, So I was 938 00:42:28,160 --> 00:42:30,880 sitting having a drink and fell things before her show started 939 00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:33,520 and I was like, oh shit, it's like it's it started crap. 940 00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,360 Like I didn't mind the time. Well, and that's all. 941 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:36,840 Fuck, it's grand. The best support act on or one 942 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,360 of her. There was no support act on. 943 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,200 She come on and she's what she was brilliant by the way, But 944 00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:44,440 she said I'm not using the support act because I can't 945 00:42:44,440 --> 00:42:47,160 trust them to turn up. I thought, who the fuck are you 946 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,680 getting to support you? He's not turning up and then. 947 00:42:50,800 --> 00:42:55,080 But also you didn't turn up. Well I would have if I was 948 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:58,520 booked but I was 4 espresso martinis down. 949 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:02,600 Imagine if you just Catherine. It's all right. 950 00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:10,480 Nothing underneath. Oh fuck, I thought out of top on 951 00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:17,200 shit, but then right, she's all stopped using warm up acts in 952 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:19,400 the regional areas, even though everywhere is a region. 953 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:20,560 What? I hate people say that. 954 00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:23,960 But anyway, I probably said sometimes and I was like, so you 955 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,800 don't need to warm practise fine, that's OK, your shows 956 00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:26,880 great grants. I love you. 957 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:32,280 But then the next week she used to warm up Act, who I know in 958 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:36,920 Wales. So someone's let her down last 959 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,320 minute and she's taking that out in a way on you. 960 00:43:40,200 --> 00:43:45,240 She's she'd what happened there is she was offered no warm up or 961 00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:47,760 me Yeah, and she decided to go for no. 962 00:43:47,760 --> 00:43:49,880 One but I I don't think she was do you know what it sounds like 963 00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:53,240 to me too many people were involved this person speak 964 00:43:53,240 --> 00:43:55,160 you're speaking to this person speaking to that person speak to 965 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,640 that person should speak to her. You got to find a quicker length 966 00:43:58,680 --> 00:43:59,960 I. Think I think she just wanted an 967 00:43:59,960 --> 00:44:01,840 early night chain. She was more happy for the show 968 00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:04,440 Dan to be but earlier so she could get their pet right. 969 00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:06,560 Should the Christian of the child the next day in Cork. 970 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:08,960 It's a queer Dr. I understand. Yeah. 971 00:44:09,040 --> 00:44:10,440 Next time she's back, we'll get her. 972 00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:11,840 Yeah. Yeah, no. 973 00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:13,760 No. Quite sinister. 974 00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:15,640 We'll get her. Yeah. 975 00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:17,640 She's not doing she. Can take that whatever way she 976 00:44:17,640 --> 00:44:18,560 wants. But I'll get her. 977 00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:21,800 I, I, I, I've asked to do sport for loads of people too, even 978 00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:24,560 like if it's someone that's coming over that I just really 979 00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:25,280 like. Yeah. 980 00:44:25,720 --> 00:44:27,440 And what? About if you don't like them, if 981 00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,120 you're not a fan, but. You know, sabotage. 982 00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:32,320 Their show, yeah. I just go and do support, but I 983 00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:34,240 don't say anything. Oh yeah, let's just do 20 984 00:44:34,240 --> 00:44:35,960 minutes of interpretive movement. 985 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,400 Yeah, you're not even on the stage. 986 00:44:37,400 --> 00:44:38,640 It's like sort of stood in front of it. 987 00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:39,760 Yeah, in front of the microphone. 988 00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,160 I messaged Nina Conti already too, because she was in lane 989 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,840 night on Monday. Or Black Box asked her as well. 990 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:46,760 She. She ghosted you. 991 00:44:47,240 --> 00:44:48,760 Well, no, She talked back through the. 992 00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:55,240 Republic Nina doesn't like you. She was like, you know, you're 993 00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:58,280 right, fucking ball bag. And I was like, well, it's the 994 00:44:58,280 --> 00:44:59,960 puppet talk. And then that's OK. 995 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:01,800 So what happened? Should mess me back. 996 00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,560 People are ghost to. Me Has that gig happened yet? 997 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,080 Yeah, happened on Monday night. We. 998 00:45:06,400 --> 00:45:07,480 Could have made that happen I think. 999 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,880 Yeah, we could have got her. And you'll happen if it doesn't 1000 00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:11,720 shit in her floor. Yeah. 1001 00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,280 And yeah, I do it all. Do you know who I went open for? 1002 00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:17,280 It might have already happened. Jeff Garland from Carbon 1003 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:19,360 Enthusiasm. Yeah, it's come to show me 1004 00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:20,800 Australia. Yeah, Austral. 1005 00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:22,240 When you think it's really happened. 1006 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:25,280 It might have happened by the time this episode goes out and 1007 00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:26,880 but I would I would like to do that. 1008 00:45:27,240 --> 00:45:31,080 I also tried to emotionally blackmail Jason Manford's 1009 00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:33,200 representation. Children. 1010 00:45:33,880 --> 00:45:36,560 Where was that going? You'd better get your daddy to 1011 00:45:36,560 --> 00:45:38,440 support me to do sport for. Me, I, I. 1012 00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:42,600 E-mail to Manford if your daddy doesn't open for me on my to air 1013 00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,520 you won't see. You won't see P sexually freak. 1014 00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:52,840 You will skip right to be 7. That's your, that's your long 1015 00:45:52,840 --> 00:45:54,560 game. You're going to fast track them 1016 00:45:54,560 --> 00:45:56,520 in school and they can't, they can't keep up. 1017 00:45:56,560 --> 00:45:59,000 Yeah, and then when they legally become adults, I'll make them 1018 00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:03,080 divorce their dad, right? And then and then he'll have me 1019 00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:07,200 support them. I messaged, I emailed his agency 1020 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:12,960 and I was all, I'm very aware how Jason is like very 1021 00:46:12,960 --> 00:46:17,840 supportive of, you know, the marginalised grips and like 1022 00:46:17,840 --> 00:46:21,560 LGBTQ community and supportive female and supporting BAME 1023 00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,640 actors and performers and comedians. 1024 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,800 So on that note, as one of the very few female comedians in 1025 00:46:26,800 --> 00:46:29,480 Northern Ireland, could I? There's not many of us. 1026 00:46:29,960 --> 00:46:32,560 There's not many of us. But then they didn't get back 1027 00:46:32,560 --> 00:46:34,600 either, and I went follow emotional blackmail on that one. 1028 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:39,920 I playing that card going like if he if he if he know he turns 1029 00:46:39,960 --> 00:46:43,480 up and has a white man support time, he or where he's going to 1030 00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,440 have a headspace. You, you eat Dick. 1031 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:49,080 Just to know you and I, I think that's too long. 1032 00:46:49,080 --> 00:46:52,760 That e-mail straight in. Hello. 1033 00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:57,520 What's the crack with this support? 1034 00:46:57,720 --> 00:47:00,000 Yeah. And just write the owner wants 1035 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,760 it and make that a hashtag and send it to all the promoters. 1036 00:47:03,800 --> 00:47:07,080 Well, because I sent an e-mail one time to a casting director 1037 00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:09,080 years ago when I was just starting out, and it was a long 1038 00:47:09,080 --> 00:47:12,480 Emily, what's the crack ways Game of Thrones thing? 1039 00:47:13,960 --> 00:47:17,600 George.r.martin@gmail.com I heard you. 1040 00:47:17,600 --> 00:47:19,840 Yes, lad. Are looking people. 1041 00:47:21,760 --> 00:47:24,120 The info gameofthrones.com. Yeah. 1042 00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:26,840 Yeah, and a casting director from London emailed me back and 1043 00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:31,320 was all basically saying that I was not going to have a career 1044 00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:35,040 if I continue to e-mail people in such like a casual manner 1045 00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:36,280 that I should have more respect for. 1046 00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:40,720 God, I was all I've got back on. Well, maybe you would have more 1047 00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:42,960 like, better movies that you've cast if you weren't such a 1048 00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:46,120 cheeky bitch, that's all. Because it's not any way to 1049 00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:47,840 speak to actors. I'm only trying my best. 1050 00:47:52,240 --> 00:47:56,520 What the fox isn't? Can I, can I rejoin an e-mail if 1051 00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:59,520 it if it loads up? Don't know if it will right. 1052 00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:04,640 Speaking of like emails you send maybe like emails when you're 1053 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:06,480 just starting off like to casting directors. 1054 00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:07,960 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you get me in this? 1055 00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:16,760 I sent an e-mail to fuck it won't load to Jackie from up at 1056 00:48:16,760 --> 00:48:21,720 the blame game when I had done my first stand up gig 1 gig IE 1057 00:48:21,720 --> 00:48:25,960 mailed them and said I think subject line was like let's do 1058 00:48:25,960 --> 00:48:26,920 this. And I was like. 1059 00:48:27,920 --> 00:48:30,480 I was like, hi there, my name is Shane Todd. 1060 00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,560 I'm 18. I've done 1 stand up comedy gig. 1061 00:48:33,800 --> 00:48:37,080 Just to let you know if you're looking anyone for the game 1062 00:48:37,440 --> 00:48:40,440 would I be like would be delighted to do it and you know 1063 00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:41,840 what? He replied. 1064 00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:44,120 I thought that was great. I really like that but I say 1065 00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:47,600 fuck off thanks. Fuck off you read deck. 1066 00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:50,320 No way. Was like we were booked up for 1067 00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,240 the series but keep it to stand up and all that. 1068 00:48:52,240 --> 00:48:53,840 Anything. I always like it when someone 1069 00:48:54,120 --> 00:48:56,920 replies, like, and when I was trying to get representation in 1070 00:48:56,920 --> 00:49:00,120 America years ago, I sent emails out to everyone about when I was 1071 00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:04,320 overdoing shows and, like, one of the top comedy managers in 1072 00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:06,440 the world emailed me back. And I was like, one line. 1073 00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:08,400 It was like, not be able to make it book you look. 1074 00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:09,760 But I just appreciate that, Yeah. 1075 00:49:10,040 --> 00:49:12,840 Appreciate recently I received because I've received lots of 1076 00:49:12,840 --> 00:49:15,840 emails over the years of rejection because I mean we all 1077 00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:17,040 have. And yeah, yeah. 1078 00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:20,000 And recently I got sort of got one where I got cut from 1079 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:23,000 something and it was it was a documentary. 1080 00:49:23,560 --> 00:49:25,400 Jamie Lee's doing it. Jamie Lee Donaldson documentary 1081 00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:26,120 about dairy. Yes. 1082 00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:27,640 And I was I shot for that. I was in it. 1083 00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:30,120 So they shot me doing stand up and dairy and then her and I 1084 00:49:30,120 --> 00:49:32,040 have like a chat afterwards about like dairy and the crack 1085 00:49:32,040 --> 00:49:35,040 and dairy, whatever. And then there's like for over 1086 00:49:35,040 --> 00:49:38,280 the whole course of an evening. And then last week they sent me 1087 00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:40,280 an invitation to come to the screening of it, which I can't 1088 00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:41,280 go to because I'm going to a play. 1089 00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:43,680 But anyway. But they were like, Oh, also 1090 00:49:44,080 --> 00:49:45,720 you're not actually in the documentary anymore. 1091 00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:49,400 And I saw, oh, all right, the producers decided to join the 1092 00:49:49,400 --> 00:49:54,000 more serious route of the tone of the show so that we didn't 1093 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,040 include any comedy on a stand up comment. 1094 00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:58,280 I go no bother. That's totally acceptable. 1095 00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,800 Can I have the high quality footage that you shot, please? 1096 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:03,480 And they were like, no problem, we'll get that to you. 1097 00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:07,360 And then I saw Jamie Lee post the 3rd and it's all like 1098 00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,960 fucking she was the night out. We see Monica Jackson and she's 1099 00:50:10,960 --> 00:50:13,360 sitting looking through. But it was with Mommy Bunter, 1100 00:50:13,360 --> 00:50:16,080 Simina, Terry and as all went during the series with did you 1101 00:50:16,160 --> 00:50:19,640 fucker. I've just been cut. 1102 00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:22,160 But if you get the footage out of it, that's OK. 1103 00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:23,720 I know, but it's like, you know, yeah. 1104 00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,600 I just find that stuff has happened to me so much. 1105 00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:31,040 It just becomes like once, once you can take that as like funny. 1106 00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:33,600 Oh, I don't care. Yeah, then it then it's great, 1107 00:50:33,680 --> 00:50:35,520 yeah. Because like, almost I can't 1108 00:50:35,520 --> 00:50:37,680 then wait to tell my friends about it because I'm like, 1109 00:50:37,680 --> 00:50:40,160 listen to what happened to me. And they get much of A laugh, 1110 00:50:40,160 --> 00:50:43,440 but it becomes funny. You cry yourself to sleep, but. 1111 00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:45,320 It's all good. I remember. 1112 00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:49,520 Do you remember Mark and you know Mark from BBC Mark McAvoy 1113 00:50:49,680 --> 00:50:51,120 and Jordan? Thought you meant spit. 1114 00:50:51,240 --> 00:50:52,400 No who? Mark? 1115 00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:54,000 Oh, no, no, no. Mark McAvoy. 1116 00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:57,040 And they were doing this. They had to do a scene years 1117 00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:57,880 ago. Pardon. 1118 00:50:58,200 --> 00:51:00,200 You said McAvoy, it's. McAvoy. 1119 00:51:00,200 --> 00:51:02,720 I said McAvoy. Oh, but they did do a scene 1120 00:51:02,720 --> 00:51:04,760 something like a short film years ago, and they had to kiss. 1121 00:51:04,760 --> 00:51:06,000 And these are two like straight guys. 1122 00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:13,640 Well, it's time. How powerful a kiss was it? 1123 00:51:14,480 --> 00:51:15,560 I'm straight, I'm straight, I'm straight. 1124 00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:18,840 Listen, I need to speak to my family ASAP. 1125 00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:22,200 But they did do like their first like gay kiss on camera and then 1126 00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:23,960 it got caught and they didn't get paid or anything. 1127 00:51:23,960 --> 00:51:27,000 And they were like, well, sort of, sort of sacrificed quite a 1128 00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:28,960 bit there. For hey, who cast that I know 1129 00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:32,120 give me a shout it. Was a BBC thing, I think well, 1130 00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:33,480 but no, I don't think well I might. 1131 00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:36,280 Not get off with him and all. Why is there no cameras in here? 1132 00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:37,400 Don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. 1133 00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:38,120 We'll use it. We'll use it. 1134 00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:39,560 Do you know what you were talking about? 1135 00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:40,960 What do you call the one of your sponsors? 1136 00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:43,720 VPN. Nord VPN, those guests in the 1137 00:51:43,720 --> 00:51:45,560 business. As you were speaking about them 1138 00:51:45,560 --> 00:51:49,520 earlier on, that reminded me of my my Mama used to put tape over 1139 00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:52,600 the camera on her laptop. What? 1140 00:51:53,640 --> 00:52:01,120 Was your mom getting up to whenever she first got a laptop 1141 00:52:01,120 --> 00:52:05,080 she was confessed people could see under your lover. 1142 00:52:06,120 --> 00:52:09,360 When that gets baked, I can't wait for people to in their 1143 00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,280 heads imagine what it was that was said. 1144 00:52:18,320 --> 00:52:20,560 She's a bit of like a plaster over and she's like, I'm not 1145 00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:21,600 letting them look under my living room. 1146 00:52:21,600 --> 00:52:24,440 And you're like, who's looking under your living room? 1147 00:52:24,440 --> 00:52:27,200 She's all yeah, and you're like there's nobody like she she 1148 00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:30,200 genuinely was. And then if ads come up that are 1149 00:52:30,200 --> 00:52:31,760 like relative the conversation she bad. 1150 00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,200 She's all say they can see I'm through the camera under my 1151 00:52:34,200 --> 00:52:35,920 living room. They know I need new cushions or 1152 00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,560 something. I mean, we laugh at. 1153 00:52:38,560 --> 00:52:40,320 That, but they're probably, but they're probably. 1154 00:52:40,640 --> 00:52:44,080 But not with Nord VPN. Here, I'd love that to be my 1155 00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,400 job, but imagine sitting behind a camera just looking onto 1156 00:52:46,400 --> 00:52:48,920 everyone's loving rooms, just judging their decor. 1157 00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:52,720 You'd see bad things and all. Like, yeah, you would see bad 1158 00:52:52,720 --> 00:52:54,920 things, but you'd also see real fun things like having a great 1159 00:52:54,920 --> 00:52:56,280 night out. No or a night and. 1160 00:52:56,440 --> 00:52:59,440 Isn't that the dream? Yeah, to stream a night out, but 1161 00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:01,840 you're at home. To stream somebody else's night 1162 00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:03,000 out and you watch it from your house. 1163 00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,240 Yeah, but they they, that's the I was going to say they know 1164 00:53:05,240 --> 00:53:07,640 about it, right, But they don't. And then they might be talking 1165 00:53:07,640 --> 00:53:09,680 about you and people you know, and you're just sitting at your 1166 00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:12,240 house with a packet mixed I got watching the big screen. 1167 00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:14,640 Imagine. Would you prefer they were 1168 00:53:14,640 --> 00:53:16,440 talking about you, even in a bad way, or they weren't? 1169 00:53:16,440 --> 00:53:17,720 So fucking. You like them? 1170 00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:21,520 Yeah, I'd buzz off that I'm I do you know why I love an argument 1171 00:53:21,520 --> 00:53:23,520 chain. I love a week. 1172 00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:26,720 I'm known to be very defensive. I love a serious, not an 1173 00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:30,280 argument, but I love having a reason to go. 1174 00:53:30,600 --> 00:53:32,840 Well, I heard what she says. What's your what's your 1175 00:53:32,840 --> 00:53:35,560 opponent? So say you say you'd stream the 1176 00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,760 house party. Yeah, I'm a I'm a friend that 1177 00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:39,480 you. And by the way, you'll be 1178 00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:41,760 thinking of someone in your head and you've heard me saying 1179 00:53:41,760 --> 00:53:42,680 something about you. Yeah. 1180 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:46,240 We meet up for coffee. Yeah, I I'm, I'm already sat 1181 00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:47,000 down. You arrive. 1182 00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,840 What's your opening thing? I go all Columbo on your hip, 1183 00:53:50,400 --> 00:53:52,120 right? I'll be like, I'll be like 1184 00:53:52,120 --> 00:53:54,400 Cryptic. I'll I'll start, I'll buy them a 1185 00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:57,400 coffee power move right and. Then I'll be like, I've got and 1186 00:53:57,400 --> 00:53:59,560 I've already paid for it. You've paid for the coffee. 1187 00:53:59,560 --> 00:54:01,400 Yeah, Yeah, that will stay for 2:00. 1188 00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:02,800 We'll have another one and I'll pay for it. 1189 00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,200 OK. And then everything OK, But then 1190 00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:08,640 I'll be like, did you have a, do you have a nice weekend? 1191 00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:11,200 Yeah, that's good. What did you do? 1192 00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:12,920 Just a few drinks. So it's a shame you weren't able 1193 00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:13,960 to make the party, but no, it's good. 1194 00:54:14,920 --> 00:54:17,400 Did Sheila make the party? Yeah. 1195 00:54:17,920 --> 00:54:19,000 She doesn't have a good time, is she? 1196 00:54:21,200 --> 00:54:23,120 How do you know something? Yeah, she's too much. 1197 00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:23,600 Good. Thank you. 1198 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:31,960 Babe, that. I would pretend that I was at 1199 00:54:31,960 --> 00:54:36,080 the party and I would be like, you didn't think I was there 1200 00:54:36,080 --> 00:54:39,160 because you were so fucked, but I was there and I heard and I 1201 00:54:39,160 --> 00:54:41,520 would make them say it. Most of the time when I'm 1202 00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:49,520 entrapping my step kids, I don't really, I don't really know the 1203 00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:53,120 facts, but I'll be like, I know you did this and then they'll 1204 00:54:53,120 --> 00:54:55,800 eventually own up. Sometimes they didn't do it and 1205 00:54:55,800 --> 00:55:01,520 it's a wee bit cruel and I'm just like I thought, I don't 1206 00:55:01,520 --> 00:55:03,080 know, yeah, I'll blame shit on them. 1207 00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:05,720 Sometimes though, if there's no sweets left, I'll be all in the 1208 00:55:05,720 --> 00:55:06,640 house. I'll be all the show on those 1209 00:55:06,640 --> 00:55:08,520 greedy bastards. Right, right, right. 1210 00:55:09,240 --> 00:55:10,640 Sugar all around your mouth. Yeah. 1211 00:55:10,840 --> 00:55:13,520 I'm greedy fuckers, yeah, can't blame stuff on the one year old 1212 00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:14,600 because she's too way, but I will. 1213 00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:17,720 But that's what I want. I want to stream like if I, if I 1214 00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:21,640 I'd rather not go on a night out, but I get high end 1215 00:55:21,640 --> 00:55:25,320 production team to film the night out and people and they're 1216 00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:26,360 doing like it's like Geordie Shore. 1217 00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:29,640 My mates do vox pops update like what the how's the night going 1218 00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:31,240 on? And then I just I watch that 1219 00:55:31,280 --> 00:55:33,880 it's just an hour long thing and and I watch the night out 1220 00:55:33,880 --> 00:55:36,080 instead of going on it. In lieu of the night out. 1221 00:55:36,080 --> 00:55:38,560 Yeah, so but you. But then that's very anti 1222 00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:40,040 social. That's not my straight. 1223 00:55:40,040 --> 00:55:43,240 I don't like being social. I like it if it's convenient, 1224 00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,040 yeah. I don't like the like go, you 1225 00:55:45,040 --> 00:55:47,840 know, go and do a thing. But if the things there and I'm 1226 00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,440 there, it's good. I prefer people came to my house 1227 00:55:50,440 --> 00:55:52,240 to have drinks. And no, I don't like that. 1228 00:55:52,240 --> 00:55:53,360 Oh, you don't? Not really. 1229 00:55:53,400 --> 00:55:57,480 Why could you clean up? I don't like the idea that like 1230 00:55:57,480 --> 00:56:00,320 someone be leaning on something. You're like, we don't lean on 1231 00:56:00,320 --> 00:56:02,880 that. Yes, that makes sense, yes, and 1232 00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:06,600 or like, you know, there's a guy there who you don't really know 1233 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:09,760 that well and he's like at one point you look over and you just 1234 00:56:09,760 --> 00:56:11,600 see the top of his feet. He's behind your TV and you're 1235 00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:14,240 fuck you doing he's I'll just grabbing your Internet password. 1236 00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:19,040 You you use. The 4G no, I'm just like give me 1237 00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:21,760 a don't go behind. I don't want anyone in the TV or 1238 00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:24,000 like get in the week card get your. 1239 00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:26,480 Wires mixed I have. Cards for that reason in a 1240 00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:27,920 separate drawer and I'll go and I'll go. 1241 00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:31,560 Here's a new and you can key. It you don't key it, we have one 1242 00:56:31,560 --> 00:56:34,040 taped up in each room. Not visibly, because that's 1243 00:56:34,040 --> 00:56:36,080 aesthetically ugly, but inside a cupboard or something, you open 1244 00:56:36,080 --> 00:56:37,840 up and it's taped inside. No, that's a. 1245 00:56:37,920 --> 00:56:41,080 That's a nice. Room you can you can access the 1246 00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:43,200 Wi-Fi password that's certainly wouldn't be Scampi about me and 1247 00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:45,520 today because it's not going to run out is it we? 1248 00:56:45,880 --> 00:56:48,040 All thought like that. The girl next door to my man's 1249 00:56:48,080 --> 00:56:50,960 house, she was. So you're waiting on your 1250 00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:52,800 Internet to go on the manager, right? 1251 00:56:52,960 --> 00:56:55,400 So she was in the same boat. She was waiting on the Internet 1252 00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:57,480 to go on, but she couldn't hotspot because she probably had 1253 00:56:57,480 --> 00:56:58,800 a page ago or something. Do you know what I mean? 1254 00:56:58,800 --> 00:57:02,840 5210. 5210 she wasn't hot, she. Didn't get snake, she can't get 1255 00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:04,320 the web. It's 5210 if I'm. 1256 00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:07,240 Knock you 52 tens. No, you mean 3210? 1257 00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:09,880 Well, there's a 5210 too. No, there's not. 1258 00:57:09,880 --> 00:57:12,240 There wasn't a 5210 too. There was a 5210. 1259 00:57:12,240 --> 00:57:14,440 Also. There was a 5210 right or wrong. 1260 00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:17,600 Yeah, all right. Okay, so I went moved. 1261 00:57:17,600 --> 00:57:20,040 On ever tell me there? Wasn't 5210 I moved on to 1262 00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:21,680 smartphones earlier. Than you I don't like 1263 00:57:21,680 --> 00:57:24,920 confrontation but the second you dismissed the 5210. 1264 00:57:26,040 --> 00:57:29,120 She went then my mom was all can I have your Wi-Fi password 1265 00:57:29,440 --> 00:57:32,320 because I know how my math is about the Internet and all my 1266 00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:34,240 stuff. She's not really she's thanks 1267 00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:37,080 everyone's tranny robber, right. So this this girl is like in her 1268 00:57:37,080 --> 00:57:38,800 20s and she's like, can I have your Wi-Fi password? 1269 00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:41,160 I've got like a week entering before my mentor comes in. 1270 00:57:41,360 --> 00:57:44,640 My mum was all I let me go get a fee, shut the door, phones us. 1271 00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:46,520 What the fuck am I going to do? She wants my Internet. 1272 00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,560 She wants to check my Internet. Will she get on my Facebook? 1273 00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:50,240 Will she be able to buy my stuff on my Amazon? 1274 00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:51,080 Right. Yeah. 1275 00:57:51,080 --> 00:57:54,040 She got a will she have my PayPal password and I was like 1276 00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,000 thank you. And this was a conversation that 1277 00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:57,520 went on all day. This girl's that, I'd said the 1278 00:57:57,520 --> 00:57:58,000 door all. Day. 1279 00:57:59,560 --> 00:58:04,240 Just wait, but I know know what I get your mom, but I think see 1280 00:58:04,240 --> 00:58:07,320 if she had a given it, I think that girl would have went in 1281 00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:10,880 from BT and went don't worry about that installation because 1282 00:58:10,880 --> 00:58:13,360 how you really going to know if somebody's I mean, I'm sure 1283 00:58:13,360 --> 00:58:16,640 there's a sentence thing where you can see, but that happened 1284 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:21,880 where we had a house once and I borrowed an Internet password. 1285 00:58:21,880 --> 00:58:25,640 You done it. And realised that the Internet 1286 00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:29,520 password I borrowed was faster Internet than my own and every 1287 00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:31,680 device in the house stayed on that other network. 1288 00:58:32,120 --> 00:58:34,040 But did you still continue to have yours sort of feeling 1289 00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:35,920 guilty? I think if I thought if I 1290 00:58:35,920 --> 00:58:38,600 cancelled mine it was like what if they catch on at some point? 1291 00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:43,160 Or what if they walk into my house and go show me your Wi-Fi? 1292 00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:45,640 Are you going to log on Monday and the name of the Internet 1293 00:58:45,640 --> 00:58:48,600 change date youth even? What about when people do that? 1294 00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,720 Is that the height of NAF banter when people's Wi-Fi password on 1295 00:58:51,720 --> 00:58:53,840 a public thing is don't steal my Internet? 1296 00:58:53,920 --> 00:58:55,200 Yeah. Or is it actually pretty good 1297 00:58:55,200 --> 00:58:56,480 crack because you are trying to steal your? 1298 00:58:56,480 --> 00:58:57,760 Internet, I think it's good fun. Yeah. 1299 00:58:57,880 --> 00:58:58,840 OK. I think it's good fun. 1300 00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:01,680 I think if you do, you know, you see people too, who have kids 1301 00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:03,720 and they, like, change their Internet password and they don't 1302 00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:05,640 let them have the Internet until they'll do their chores. 1303 00:59:05,640 --> 00:59:11,200 I think they're called Nazis. That's so cruel. 1304 00:59:11,200 --> 00:59:13,320 Like the kids. Like how you're supposed to know 1305 00:59:13,320 --> 00:59:15,240 what's happening in the world if they haven't got their Internet. 1306 00:59:15,800 --> 00:59:19,360 Well, that's that's, that's a futuristic thing, the idea of 1307 00:59:19,360 --> 00:59:20,400 holding back. No. 1308 00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:21,040 People do that. No. 1309 00:59:21,040 --> 00:59:23,800 Broadband, yeah, No, no, no. But like, oh, I wasn't aware of 1310 00:59:23,800 --> 00:59:24,480 that. I didn't know. 1311 00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,560 That's the thing. But it's like nowadays, like 1312 00:59:26,560 --> 00:59:28,640 whenever I was younger and you got grounded, you got grounded 1313 00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,120 in the house. Whereas now we like grind the 1314 00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:34,120 kids and be like get out and play because they hate being 1315 00:59:34,120 --> 00:59:35,600 outside. They want to be inside with 1316 00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:37,640 their Internet and the punishment is like you have to 1317 00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:39,640 go outside and have fun you fucker. 1318 00:59:39,880 --> 00:59:42,880 Right outdoor you could show them how with your training how 1319 00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:45,320 to use Flint to. Make Yeah, we're going to go out 1320 00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:47,000 and make a Hut. I am. 1321 00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:50,320 I love being outside. I still like being outside. 1322 00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:53,640 Inside good, but it can be a bit overrated. 1323 00:59:54,280 --> 00:59:56,280 Outside class. I love outside. 1324 00:59:56,880 --> 00:59:58,960 I mean, my daughter's a real outdoorsy thing. 1325 00:59:58,960 --> 01:00:01,320 Like she fucking loves getting out to feed the birds. 1326 01:00:01,440 --> 01:00:04,120 If you give her a week, a week. So if you take her on to B&M 1327 01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:09,760 bargains, she will be besides herself trying to find the bags 1328 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:12,600 of bird seed on the shelves, trying to find the bird. 1329 01:00:12,600 --> 01:00:13,480 Seed. That's weird that she's not a 1330 01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:16,240 retired 60 year old librarian. Yeah, no, but she might have 1331 01:00:16,240 --> 01:00:17,640 been reincarnated. Right. 1332 01:00:17,640 --> 01:00:19,480 Yeah, true. There could be a wee librarian 1333 01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:21,280 on her. Or maybe she was a bird before. 1334 01:00:21,680 --> 01:00:22,960 Yeah. And that's why she wants to see 1335 01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:23,960 she's. Back to the motherland. 1336 01:00:24,640 --> 01:00:26,880 So she she loves being outside and not there. 1337 01:00:26,880 --> 01:00:29,400 And Sean's very dozy, so I let them do their rebuts and paces 1338 01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:30,520 right? Do you know what I mean? 1339 01:00:30,720 --> 01:00:32,760 I like being outdoors too, but I don't want to write about an 1340 01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:34,920 article for Sunday Life. Yeah, not anymore. 1341 01:00:35,240 --> 01:00:37,240 You're going. To gaol that I mean that is not 1342 01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:38,840 my thing. Me and Sean were outside last at 1343 01:00:38,840 --> 01:00:40,560 the weekend, scored against Liverpool legend. 1344 01:00:40,600 --> 01:00:42,720 He's both scored. That's great. 1345 01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:46,560 So good, 2002 thousand people. There who scored for first year 1346 01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:49,960 him. Me, but I it was playing 3 1347 01:00:49,960 --> 01:00:52,280 thirds the game. Half an hour, half an hour, I 1348 01:00:52,280 --> 01:00:53,880 played just to give everybody a run out. 1349 01:00:54,000 --> 01:00:56,080 But I played in the middle game and he played in the last game. 1350 01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:57,800 Oh, because I had to go out a tour show. 1351 01:00:58,160 --> 01:01:00,200 But I saw a picture of you see both on the pitch at the same 1352 01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:02,480 time. I think he came on towards the 1353 01:01:02,480 --> 01:01:05,720 end of that because it was like even though we scored against 1354 01:01:05,720 --> 01:01:08,640 the legend, it was 68 year old man who couldn't move. 1355 01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,440 It was like, you know, that ad for Barclays walking football, 1356 01:01:11,960 --> 01:01:13,800 they were doing that and we were running as fast. 1357 01:01:13,800 --> 01:01:15,560 In football. You see everything that. 1358 01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:16,960 So they don't run, they just walk and keep. 1359 01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:19,640 Well, they would like to run but they're all and they all played 1360 01:01:19,640 --> 01:01:22,320 like professionally, so they're joints and all fucked. 1361 01:01:23,280 --> 01:01:25,680 So it's not real. It was great at the time, but 1362 01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:27,960 it's you can't really say you scored into Liverpool, you know 1363 01:01:27,960 --> 01:01:30,320 what I mean? But it was good, it was so good. 1364 01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:31,440 Nobody's going to check that shit. 1365 01:01:31,440 --> 01:01:33,640 Out 2000 people. I mean that's, that's 1366 01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:36,600 outrageous, unreal. You do think you'd have wanted 1367 01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:38,960 to have been a footballer had you not been into comedy. 1368 01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:41,000 Yeah, I mean, it wasn't an option. 1369 01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:44,000 Like I am a footballer, but I pay for Dundrum, you know what I 1370 01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:46,440 mean? It's like, of course I would in 1371 01:01:46,720 --> 01:01:47,960 a second. That'd be football. 1372 01:01:48,480 --> 01:01:50,200 If you were better, no. I'd mean like. 1373 01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:51,000 Yeah. No, no, no. 1374 01:01:51,000 --> 01:01:52,360 I mean that too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1375 01:01:52,360 --> 01:01:54,960 Yeah, I'm not like I'm not turning down the Premier League. 1376 01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,280 Yeah, yeah, yeah. To do stand up, yeah, yeah, 1377 01:01:57,520 --> 01:01:59,760 yeah, you know, they're not man. And I don't ring me and I'm like 1378 01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:01,640 boys it would but Ballycastle into here. 1379 01:02:02,160 --> 01:02:04,280 There's a chance Neeson might respond to an e-mail any day. 1380 01:02:04,320 --> 01:02:06,000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm. Staying put. 1381 01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,480 Yeah, but the C plan on those games, it's best thing ever. 1382 01:02:09,440 --> 01:02:10,800 Like that was that was me and Sean. 1383 01:02:10,800 --> 01:02:13,320 Soccer is. Oh, that's nice. 1384 01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,640 Wembley 80,000 people now for 2000 people in your showgrounds. 1385 01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:18,960 That's it. My only experience of performing 1386 01:02:18,960 --> 01:02:21,240 athletically in front of a crowd was when I did karate. 1387 01:02:21,600 --> 01:02:25,120 Pardon. I did karate when I was like 8 1388 01:02:25,400 --> 01:02:26,760 right? So I did this. 1389 01:02:26,760 --> 01:02:29,480 The first belt, it's the white one, right? 1390 01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:31,320 Yeah, the match is the rest, the white outfit. 1391 01:02:31,800 --> 01:02:35,200 And we, you people come and watch and like the sports, all 1392 01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:36,800 your parents, all. Come How long have you been 1393 01:02:36,880 --> 01:02:38,240 doing it for? Up until that point. 1394 01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:42,080 Maybe six weeks. That's so ball, so six weeks in 1395 01:02:42,080 --> 01:02:43,360 you're like, you'll get me a fight. 1396 01:02:43,960 --> 01:02:46,440 Well, I think it was more like a this is the thing. 1397 01:02:46,440 --> 01:02:47,880 Have you ever seen adults do karate? 1398 01:02:48,040 --> 01:02:51,280 It's so shit. Yeah, non contact. 1399 01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:53,560 It's a dance, isn't? It there's a real hard boom. 1400 01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:55,760 Boom. And they just do it like no 1401 01:02:55,760 --> 01:02:57,520 one's touching each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah, You know what 1402 01:02:57,520 --> 01:02:59,400 I mean? Like nobody's going to be in a 1403 01:02:59,400 --> 01:03:03,720 bar brawl and like, get their orange belt on and yeah, cause 1404 01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:04,680 any damage. It's. 1405 01:03:04,680 --> 01:03:06,640 Just that, yeah, it's just standing like that. 1406 01:03:06,840 --> 01:03:09,200 Yeah, we're going to get the shit kicked out of us by. 1407 01:03:09,200 --> 01:03:12,160 Karate, yeah. And we'll have to pretend it 1408 01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:16,160 hurts. I stop. 1409 01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:19,320 Stop doing poses in front of me. Stop doing the Macarena, come 1410 01:03:19,400 --> 01:03:23,880 home. I was out doing fucking the 1411 01:03:23,880 --> 01:03:25,840 poses and all that. You just walk around and go 1412 01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:27,400 down. And then in the middle of it, 1413 01:03:27,880 --> 01:03:32,520 yeah, I got really scared from somebody else going, like not 1414 01:03:32,520 --> 01:03:33,560 touching me, but just doing that. 1415 01:03:33,560 --> 01:03:35,680 And I started crying. And man, under the, I want to 1416 01:03:35,680 --> 01:03:37,520 say bleachers, but I think they're an American thing. 1417 01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:40,000 Didn't know you went to Sweet Valley High. 1418 01:03:43,280 --> 01:03:44,480 Who did you go to homecoming with? 1419 01:03:45,920 --> 01:03:50,080 Ran up to the benches, yeah. And started crying and it never 1420 01:03:50,080 --> 01:03:51,640 went back. Bleachers. 1421 01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:53,760 Oh. No, it's very American. 1422 01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:55,480 But you went home and got some Kool-aid anyway. 1423 01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:57,120 And. Went home and got some Kool-aid 1424 01:03:57,120 --> 01:03:59,520 and. Your boyfriend Pam across at the 1425 01:03:59,520 --> 01:04:02,480 time. Yeah, Rich, he was a he was a 1426 01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:06,240 jock. Chad, Chad, Yeah, no. 1427 01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:08,440 His name is Chad. I know, I know that. 1428 01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:14,720 Chad. American Chavs as we were 1429 01:04:14,720 --> 01:04:17,040 talking about Anthony, that's what I meant to say but my mom 1430 01:04:17,040 --> 01:04:19,960 whenever she would cover the plaster over the phone, she was 1431 01:04:19,960 --> 01:04:22,840 convinced that everyone's when Facebook, when I made her a 1432 01:04:22,840 --> 01:04:26,640 Facebook years ago statuses on Facebook, she was convinced that 1433 01:04:26,640 --> 01:04:31,440 was all directed at her and she. People were telling her that. 1434 01:04:31,600 --> 01:04:34,520 All the statuses were information like Donna, here's 1435 01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:36,000 my status for you. Right. 1436 01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:37,560 OK, OK. So she read it. 1437 01:04:37,680 --> 01:04:40,040 She rang me one day. My best friend's caught Marlo 1438 01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:42,880 reason. She was like why does Marloise 1439 01:04:42,960 --> 01:04:44,240 keep telling me about her hangover? 1440 01:04:44,480 --> 01:04:45,200 I don't. Care like. 1441 01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:50,600 She's telling the world, yeah, mom was like even more so. 1442 01:04:50,680 --> 01:04:52,840 Then why does everyone care? Do you know what the worst 1443 01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:56,280 things were when Facebook statuses were such and such is? 1444 01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:57,800 And then you write the rest? Yeah. 1445 01:04:57,800 --> 01:04:59,960 And like, you were like the third person, yeah. 1446 01:05:00,560 --> 01:05:04,000 It is wondering why Hollyoaks is so damn good. 1447 01:05:04,040 --> 01:05:06,920 You know, statuses were the worst and right. 1448 01:05:06,920 --> 01:05:09,200 So plug the podcast, but more it comes out on Thursday. 1449 01:05:09,200 --> 01:05:10,360 It's Thursday. Thursday. 1450 01:05:10,440 --> 01:05:11,240 Thursday. Last time. 1451 01:05:11,320 --> 01:05:12,920 Last time, Yeah, It comes out on Thursday. 1452 01:05:12,920 --> 01:05:15,160 So it's great fun. We've had some really fun guests 1453 01:05:15,160 --> 01:05:16,160 on so far. You've been on it. 1454 01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:18,800 Yeah, you will be on it. I don't know how time work. 1455 01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:21,920 You're actually sniffing. Can you get high on pro stick? 1456 01:05:22,160 --> 01:05:23,520 Probably not the Tesco brand one. 1457 01:05:23,800 --> 01:05:25,680 Yeah, you probably get high on the real shit. 1458 01:05:25,680 --> 01:05:27,680 Yeah, Prit stick is the name of the brand. 1459 01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:29,160 I know. That's why that's a glue. 1460 01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:30,320 They're all glue sticks, aren't they? 1461 01:05:30,880 --> 01:05:34,520 Yeah, you're a glue stick. I think you thought you were 1462 01:05:34,520 --> 01:05:36,160 blowing my mind with that, but I understand what. 1463 01:05:36,160 --> 01:05:37,720 It's just because sometimes. You're a name for that. 1464 01:05:39,200 --> 01:05:40,120 We don't think you're blowing so much. 1465 01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:42,480 Well, you think Tip X to see it. You're like Tip X, but Tip X is 1466 01:05:42,480 --> 01:05:43,960 a brand. That way, no. 1467 01:05:44,320 --> 01:05:45,400 So, yes. So it's been. 1468 01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,560 So the first few guests are, yeah, Paddy McDonald and Gemma 1469 01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:50,840 Gart in the first week. And then there's Kerry Quinn and 1470 01:05:50,840 --> 01:05:52,320 Claire Afridi. Chain, Todd, Kieran. 1471 01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:55,080 Bartlett, Shane. Might be a tomorrow. 1472 01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:56,560 Coming out tomorrow, you know you're. 1473 01:05:56,640 --> 01:05:58,280 Done. Man with future times. 1474 01:05:58,280 --> 01:05:59,880 You that you're told that in confidence? 1475 01:05:59,880 --> 01:06:01,320 When does my episode get released? 1476 01:06:01,680 --> 01:06:03,800 Tomorrow, right? Your episode the same day I'm 1477 01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:05,600 coming out. Tomorrow the same day, yeah. 1478 01:06:07,360 --> 01:06:10,920 We got there, we got there. And yeah, it's great fun. 1479 01:06:11,200 --> 01:06:12,560 I don't know, just fucking wasn't it. 1480 01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:14,560 Just listen to it, watch it be on YouTube too. 1481 01:06:15,240 --> 01:06:16,960 That'll be on them places. Good. 1482 01:06:17,200 --> 01:06:18,800 What's a dream? What's? 1483 01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:20,920 The Dream. Yeah, Spotify. 1484 01:06:21,080 --> 01:06:22,640 Just to have a fun night sleep shake. 1485 01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:26,680 A fun night sleep full night. A fun night sleep sound shit. 1486 01:06:26,800 --> 01:06:29,280 Yeah, my dream would be to sleep on past 7. 1487 01:06:29,920 --> 01:06:31,800 Oh, imagine. Do you know what you couldn't? 1488 01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:34,040 Because I've been away in hotels with gigs. 1489 01:06:34,040 --> 01:06:36,640 I've been like, I'm going to sleep till 10 minutes before, 1490 01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:39,040 like, check out time. And then at 6:00, like that. 1491 01:06:39,240 --> 01:06:42,200 Yeah, me and Michael went away, you know, God help him. 1492 01:06:42,200 --> 01:06:44,280 I was like, at one point I was going over to him, like, tickle 1493 01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:46,440 his chin and be like, OK, we, man, you want to get up and all? 1494 01:06:46,840 --> 01:06:48,000 Yeah. You ready for your purge? 1495 01:06:48,200 --> 01:06:49,640 Yeah. And what's weird is he you're in 1496 01:06:49,640 --> 01:06:50,600 a nappy. Yeah. 1497 01:06:53,240 --> 01:06:55,320 I would love it although it was one day last week where my 1498 01:06:55,320 --> 01:06:59,560 daughter didn't wake up to like 7:45 which was so mental and I 1499 01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:01,120 genuinely was like should I check? 1500 01:07:01,280 --> 01:07:02,640 You check the breathing, Yeah, Yeah. 1501 01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:05,360 I can go and she'd actually wake up, so I'm sort of willing to 1502 01:07:05,360 --> 01:07:07,200 like. Oh, you're willing to give it a 1503 01:07:07,200 --> 01:07:10,000 few hours? Because like, that's rest, we've 1504 01:07:10,000 --> 01:07:13,040 been a respite for me. And if and if then if something 1505 01:07:13,040 --> 01:07:15,360 bad has happened, it happened anyway anyway. 1506 01:07:16,440 --> 01:07:18,960 Something bad has happened it. Happened anyway. 1507 01:07:18,960 --> 01:07:20,360 Not what I mean. I don't mean. 1508 01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:22,080 I don't mean that one, but I know why I said that. 1509 01:07:22,480 --> 01:07:25,400 I was downstairs from 6:00 having a coffee because I'm used 1510 01:07:25,400 --> 01:07:26,720 to being up and I was like what the fuck is this? 1511 01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:28,640 We about to do in a bit, right? Do you know what I mean? 1512 01:07:28,680 --> 01:07:30,480 Yeah. So the dream would be for us all 1513 01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:31,760 to sleep past 7. She nap. 1514 01:07:32,360 --> 01:07:35,680 Yeah, she sleeps really well. She sleeps 11 hours at night but 1515 01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:37,680 but I would just love for her to sleep 15 hours. 1516 01:07:38,920 --> 01:07:40,840 So what would you What I'm saying is, would you rather have 1517 01:07:40,840 --> 01:07:45,560 a £300 million Spotify deal? Would you rather have 8:00 every 1518 01:07:45,560 --> 01:07:48,360 morning for three months? Can I go 5050? 1519 01:07:48,400 --> 01:07:50,840 Can I have a? 150 million in a 6:00 AM Start 1520 01:07:51,400 --> 01:07:53,600 the dream. The dream, that's because I'll 1521 01:07:53,600 --> 01:07:55,680 be up at 6:00 AM just counting my money. 1522 01:07:55,880 --> 01:07:58,720 Yeah, it would take from six till 7 till she wakes up the 1523 01:07:58,720 --> 01:08:00,720 council of it each day. Oh, probably I'll do. 1524 01:08:00,760 --> 01:08:02,920 That what would you rather have would. 1525 01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:04,200 You rather I'd rather have to sleep. 1526 01:08:04,560 --> 01:08:05,720 What is so? Hold on. 1527 01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:08,480 So before you day, yeah. So that's just about to 1528 01:08:10,160 --> 01:08:11,680 terrified to wrap this podcast up. 1529 01:08:12,600 --> 01:08:14,920 Before you. Never leaves, Never leaves. 1530 01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:16,960 It's a lifelong. It's a lifelong illness. 1531 01:08:17,279 --> 01:08:18,200 Go ahead. Yeah, all right. 1532 01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:20,720 Of course is the worst is a region to me. 1533 01:08:20,960 --> 01:08:25,120 Probably not. If the if you were like to have 1534 01:08:25,120 --> 01:08:28,200 one more job before you died, what would it be? 1535 01:08:28,439 --> 01:08:32,120 So if it's like, oh, like the podcast becomes the most 1536 01:08:32,120 --> 01:08:35,640 successful podcast in the world, or you get like a Netflix 1537 01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:40,120 special or you get to star in your own huge Netflix Shane of 1538 01:08:40,120 --> 01:08:42,120 Thrones. Why can't I have Shane of 1539 01:08:42,120 --> 01:08:43,160 Crones? Shane of Crones. 1540 01:08:44,279 --> 01:08:45,880 Why can't I have it all? Because. 1541 01:08:46,000 --> 01:08:47,920 That's not how the world works, right? 1542 01:08:48,319 --> 01:08:50,479 If you were raised like that, I feel bad for you. 1543 01:08:51,279 --> 01:08:57,240 I want to be, I'd want to be the biggest stand up comedian in the 1544 01:08:57,240 --> 01:08:59,120 world. How is that measured? 1545 01:08:59,319 --> 01:09:01,439 I don't know. I just mean, if you're all for 1546 01:09:01,439 --> 01:09:06,040 me, no, Just like you'd know. Who do you think is the biggest 1547 01:09:06,040 --> 01:09:10,600 in the minute? Kevin, my friend Kevin Hart or 1548 01:09:10,680 --> 01:09:12,399 Dave Chappelle. I'd say Dave. 1549 01:09:12,399 --> 01:09:15,080 I wouldn't say Kevin Hart. I would say he's like top. 1550 01:09:15,080 --> 01:09:17,720 He's probably the top five. He's the biggest actor, though, 1551 01:09:17,720 --> 01:09:18,359 wasn't he? Yeah. 1552 01:09:18,359 --> 01:09:20,880 Yeah, yeah. But I do what I don't know and I 1553 01:09:20,880 --> 01:09:24,399 like to do a mix of things. Yeah, you know, but I would take 1554 01:09:24,399 --> 01:09:27,600 all, I'd take a 2020 past 6 sleep tomorrow morning. 1555 01:09:27,600 --> 01:09:29,120 Though Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 1556 01:09:29,120 --> 01:09:30,840 On the and the yeah. In the short term, I'm happy to 1557 01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:33,000 sacrifice any career for a nap. Yeah, yeah. 1558 01:09:33,680 --> 01:09:36,120 Thanks very much for coming on. But also go on the Grand Opera 1559 01:09:36,160 --> 01:09:38,520 House website because you can buy tickets to my show 1560 01:09:38,560 --> 01:09:41,600 Bridesmaids at Northern Ireland. Keep standing and keep standing 1561 01:09:41,600 --> 01:09:46,720 all these plugs 00 the bot plugs there, which is weird. 1562 01:09:47,000 --> 01:09:48,840 Umm thank you very much for coming on. 1563 01:09:48,840 --> 01:09:51,120 I appreciate it You watch your podcast, go back in the. 1564 01:09:51,120 --> 01:09:53,200 Day remember when? Remember when, Thank you very 1565 01:09:53,200 --> 01:09:57,720 much put a link in somewhere N VPN, Manscaped, Patreon, the 1566 01:09:57,720 --> 01:10:00,280 conference TV podcast and the crack was good. 1567 01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:02,360 You fucking stop recording.