I'm Michael. Che and I'm Colin Jose, and
we've got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big
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people something. I'm not saying a word.
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Come on, tell them a little. Like our hosting of comedy
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Into Michael Che's phone. Nervous.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey. New York After Dark.
It's some kind of comedy thing and it's streaming now.
Only on Peacock. You love it.
Zippers, before we go anywhere or get into this episode of the
Tea With Me podcast, I need to point out this recording took
place on a beach in Australia. It's me, Mickey Bartlett,
William Thompson for the first, I don't know, 50 minutes of
this. We don't address the fact that
we are on a beach because the audio listeners will have no
idea what we're talking about for a lot of the stuff that
we're talking about. Also, before we go anywhere,
mysteries will be live this Sunday in Mandela Hall.
This is a truly, it's not just a history podcast, it's a historic
event. The first time me and Kieran
Bartlett are coming together for a live episode of the podcast
that's shaken the history world. This this podcast isn't history.
It's a present and it's a future, one of the greatest
history podcasts of all time. The subject matter will be the
moon landings and famous gladiators.
It's going to be a great time Model hall, perfect venue for
it. So that is this Sunday.
And there still might be taken up by the time this episode
comes out. But don't say we didn't warn
you. Please enjoy this episode,
settlers. Welcome to this episode of the
TV's ME Podcast. Before we get in there, we
actually need to do that. I love you.
There's no auto queue. It's like getting homework on
holiday before we get into anything.
I'll make these as quick as I can. patreon.com/T With Me
podcast Stars in Your Eyes is going out.
Well, it's already out. Patreon exclusive.
There's bonus episodes every Monday, live stream on a Friday.
You can go back and watch all of that.
Patreon.com/TV Podcast Manscaped.
Because you you want to keep it smooth down under.
Am I right? Oh, yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Manscape, call me.
The number one in men's below the belt group.
Do Manscape not sponsor? We have no we're all school.
Well, before you came out here. You.
Barred barred your anti
sunglasses. You didn't.
No, without Jones, you got lined up today on the head, but but
you got lined up in a different head before you came in here is
that. Right.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I used my Manscape lawnmower.
Use your the five point though, yeah and you were saying you
love that that has wireless charging technology didn't.
You exact words from my mouth, yeah.
Which is weird. What I think is great about the
manscape from what I've heard is I use this a shitty other brand.
A lot of catching. A lot of catching.
You're probably all caught up there.
My scrotums chewed up like a like a bit of gum.
Who sang caught up? Usher.
Don't know what? I'm so caught up.
That's caught up. Yeah, Yeah, yeah, right.
But that's Speaking of Usher, my Tesla's got caught up in my
trimmer. Yep.
So that does make sense what you just said.
Yeah exactly. Manscaped I got when I brought
my manscape stuff abroad. They have the performance
package travel stuff. Go to manscape.com Musical tea
with me for 20% off for free shipping.
Also we're sponsored by Nord VPN now.
That's the first time I've done this without the fucking stream.
Best of luck. Set back, enjoy us.
Even though I'm on the other side of the world, I'm still
passionate about virtual private networks.
Encrypted tunnels help is. That what that stands for.
Virtual Private I. Would not know that.
Thanks, Shane. And what that means is you could
like see, because we're here, Mick, you've been here for a
good while. You're probably on your laptop
flat out, flat out, right, and people will be tracking that and
see what you're probably as well when you're staying in hotels as
well. You're tracking it, They're
tracking it. They're trying to Snoop on you,
see what you're doing. We need to wrap this up.
No, we don't. You know why?
Why? Because I have Nord VPN.
Nord VPN. Well, you're a pervert, but
that's but besides the point. You can hide your data in an
encrypted tunnel just because we're down here.
Only last night me and me and Willy were watching give my
headpiece down under in our hotel room.
We can do that because you know they block what you can watch.
But not with Nord VPN. The link is in the description.
They have three months or something.
Money back, threat protection guarantee, refund technology.
Check it out. Nord VPN does what for your
Internet security what Manscape does for your boss.
Wipe them clean. My guests today are none of.
Them sorry. Then William Thompson, Mickey
Bartlett, yes, you'd like. And last, look at this.
Look at this. It's a tough job, isn't it?
This can I just say this guy, I'm having a great time.
You're having a great time. Nobody is having a better time
on this continent than this guy right here.
Australians are my people mouth. There's still have you talked
any of you just want to guess fucking right, Tell the truth.
I've been talking about the people.
A very friendly guy. Let's start this by saying
earlier today me and Willie nearly killed the homeless guy.
That's very welcome to Australia.
Yeah, that's been the only confrontation we've had.
You're even here, Dad. Yep, but he deserved it as a
cunt. Right.
So Jordan, let's talk people through that.
Yeah, so. You, you Where were we?
We were at the juice bar, which is where all hard men start
their tails. Absolutely.
We're at the fruit juice bar and then we were ordered.
Everyone of his paws and went Nah not today, which is what we.
Said to that guy, not the day punk, not the day.
So we, yeah, we were. We try and act hard in this
story while waiting for our juices.
So there was 2. Like would you call them
business women? There were in suits, so yeah.
And they were waiting for the juices and there was like a guy
there, no top on pair of denim shorts.
Sorry. I was like, but this guy was
like, yeah, who's bothering? Them.
So they're like being quite straight with them being like,
yeah, yeah, we're just trying to wait for a drink.
I think you need to tell Mickey Hari was bothering them because
it was very surreal. Maybe I missed that, but I just
knew he was bothering them. I don't.
Know so he was shark not them fully in the shop and as I
caught him went I just asked you a question are you a fucking
paedophile or not? That's right.
Screaming are. You from he had a suspicion.
What did that? He was just screaming.
Are you fucking notes? You're fucking notes.
He was accusing them of that, These two, like probably women,
I mean. Drinking juice is pretty Peter
Wheeler. Yeah.
Just have a beer of it, yeah? So, so there's loads of people
standing around and I turned around in the hell and said I
think I'm going to have to get involved, right.
So I was like, someone's going to do something here because he
was. He was screaming at these women
like he was. Starting to shut your faces and
he wasn't moving on, right. So, so I was like, ah, no.
And I said, I think I said me, you just need to move on.
You did, yeah. I was like, you just need to
move on. You were like a strict,
substantive teacher. You had enough.
And the hands and the hips, right.
I said, hey, I like fun as much as the next man.
Hey, I like to shoot a stranger's face as much as the
next guy. I wear no shoes or socks.
But I was like, yeah, me, you need to move on.
And then the guy, like, turned for some reason, thought it was
Willie that said it to him. And he said, did he ask you
where you were from? He said I'm from heaven.
Where are you from? No, he said.
I've been sent from God. Where are you from?
And Willie. And Willie?
By the devil, motherfucker. Willie said no, way better than
that. 10 times he said right. 10 times he said what the fuck did
you say to me? And the guy like he if you walk
past it, you and they were like there's a crackhead starting on
people. You would have thought it was
him. The fuck did you say to me?
What the fuck did you say to So I had the like, I had to like
step in front of the Willy and I was saying to this guy, this
guy's like now this guy's face and he's starting to like he's
going, he's start. And I'm like, I'm I'm trying to
I'm telling him that guy off. I'm telling him off and stop
talking to him. Like stop trying to have a
conversation. What the fuck did you say to me?
Right. And I wasn't even trying to be,
I was genuinely confused. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because he turns around to me. He's like, he's like, I'm sent
from heaven. Where the fuck are you from?
I was like, what? And he goes, are you like, are
you a fucking Pete out as well? And I'm like.
That's my side. To point what?
And then he goes are you calling me a fucking dog cunt?
And I'm like what is happening? I genuinely don't know.
I'm a Berry blast waiting for me again and you're stopping me.
Get some of you. So it got like it was a
situation where I was like, oh, I also said I also went made,
there's a police over there. Now in my head there was no
police. I just made that up.
But it turned out there probably was.
So he wanted to get the guy like.
He was like a police over there. He goes.
Well, fucking pulling a season goes.
But then he still like didn't care and I was like, this is
going to aim in such a bad way and like as much as like me and
you like to go boxing like we don't have like I.
Don't have a street? Fight with a real man, a child,
yes. But I was like, this is
terrible. So I was like, I'm going to have
to be like, I'm going to have to hit you.
Like I'm going to have to tell. Wake me to fame.
Then I was like, yeah, I'm going to.
I was like, this is going to be such a shit day if we have to go
to a police station, if I don't know what the crack is.
So. But eventually I just managed to
talk and then just walking away and it was horrific.
And that was just like over. What?
What frightened me is when he was talking to him and I could
see his teeth. Because there were teeth, the
teeth of A. Wild dog, but.
He didn't have some teeth. He had some, but there were.
He had a suggestion of teeth within methy.
Yeah, yeah, they weren't they're.
Very methy methy Matthew's teeth in Perth.
No more. He doesn't rough them at all.
Haven't been the dentist? Get sensitive.
I'd be sensitive and God. But it's fucked because like
there's I haven't had that many problems with like you do see a
lot of like people talking to themselves and shouting contact
the sky like nuts. And my Mrs Australian, she's
very like, are you all right, mate?
Like you all right, mate. I've seen her like just walk
past meth heads and just be like.
Like it's nothing. Yeah, and they just seem to be
like, thanks. It's like they almost go, I'm
sorry, I've taken us and they're back in.
Those are homeless. Are their special brewed up?
Yeah. I mean, they've had a few cans.
What we like to do with the mental people back home is stick
them on a Facebook Live yeah and have and have them do mental
shit. Or give or give them a TikTok.
Yeah. I was like walking back from
that shop after getting a couple of WE cans.
Yeah. And there was a guy just
cycling, like talking side to side and saying either prayers
or Poetry Out Loud and looking at people in the eye.
And I was just like Nope, Nope, Nope.
Yeah, like the homeless here addicted to meth back home.
Yeah, they're addicted to tech talk.
Yeah. But it was, it was the scariest.
I realised I'd made a mistake because I just saw him scoring
up to you and it was just a fucking slap at my man.
As soon as he turned around and went, I've been sent from God.
Where are you from? I was like, might be out of a
death here. Yeah.
Yeah, no, you just kept it. What the fuck did you say to me?
And it got more like baritone as it went.
On what did you say? What did you say?
What did? You say sorry, Yeah.
At the end, it was like, remember Frank Butcher in
EastEnders? He went the fuck you shower, my
boy. It was terrible.
Then he just walked off. But I was like, that could
happen a million times a day. I was doing nothing to
deescalate. Situation 3:00.
That's 2:10. It was fucking.
I'm just not afraid we're going to roll into.
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Like don't right. If you're trying to like give
him code for checking people out, don't do that.
Because yesterday at the beach, Willie nearly like genuinely, he
was that like into it that he didn't have cerebral palsy for
like 10 minutes. Does that make sense?
He was like, he just came out of yourself and you're.
You have to make fat hours and some sunshine.
Well, you missed an absolute belt.
You were like, You were like. She is totally like Willy Willy.
It was like being a Willy Wonka's chop for you.
Oh. It was absolutely amazing.
That's funny because there was a there.
We were those. Horses are scrum diddly I'm
sure. We were I'm making like a short
film, a bunch of comedians, right?
And with my girlfriend and as we were.
Right, I I can't make over his shoulder.
I. Feel like the people there's
like AT Rex behind them and they can't see.
It. Oh, I know.
It's in the blue dabba DA fucking.
This is my Mickey's in such good shape now.
Constant DDP. You on the beach?
Fucking went full oiler like you didn't move in your neck it.
Was like the Exorcist. Yeah, these aren't.
Even. So these are MERS.
It's like super dirting them. I will say we were modern men on
the beach and Cotter sales are like we need like we'll stop
looking. Oh, you have to, because
especially when you're from Ireland, there's so you can't,
you can't keep it in. You have to go holy fuck, yeah,
it's dudes more than it is. Well.
Oh yeah, like literally nobody's fat.
When it's hard to be followed here, that's why.
Like, yeah, but there's a couple of weeks we were making this
short film and I'm not making this up.
We're in like fucking the middle of nowhere and there's me, my
girlfriend and two dude like the camera work and two sweet 2
Swedish. We're in the Bush too.
Two Swedish girls came out in bikinis cycling on BMX's and my
brain just went look straight ahead you stupid cunt.
She's watching you right? And I'm like starting a tree
like and like I could tie with my head and went 321.
I could just feel Taylor looking at me like are they good
looking? I'm like, stinking.
So can you be like how, how far away is like any kind of
Outback? How far do you have to go
before? It gets like in person with that
40 minutes when you're in like you're in the sticks like others
like it. You don't realise how big
Australia is until you start driving around.
Even just a lot of motorways. That place we were filming,
there's a little like we town in the middle of it and a 15 minute
drive up a hill and there's Kangaroos, there's running
straight past. I was going to say, you've seen
Wild. Yeah, seen a bunch.
Like seen a blue tongue lizard last week just in a housing
estate. Not even like right anywhere
mad. There's certain points of view
to look in the in between trees and the like.
Maybe more in the city centre don't but in Fremantle.
But there's golden orb spiders, so.
We saw spiders yesterday. The golden orb ones are
completely harmless. They're fucking huge to catch
birds. Right?
So see the actual spider webs? You can flick the web and it
doesn't break like a guitar string.
Right, right. So they're.
Terrifying. Whenever you're just like, you
just see them. Yeah.
What else have I seen? That's pretty much it.
The the spiders fascinated like you were terrified of them.
Even though you stopped, you hated it.
I love. What did you see?
Because I was like in the head. Was it a web like those spiders?
Like a series of branches and just like it looked like fucking
rope swing. That's.
Probably not like the golden or ones.
Yeah, yeah, probably. But the big ones aren't the
scary ones. They're not the ones you need to
be afraid of. Yes, if we read backs they get
the redbacks fucking kill you like the funnel web ones that
are the other side of the country.
But I'd see where you're living here.
Could there potentially be that in your house tonight?
I don't know if it's, I haven't seen any spiders, but it did.
What has happened a couple of times.
There's wee lizards. Yeah, there's wee lizards on
about the outside of the house. And I opened the sliding door to
take a bit of Washington and the lizard tail just fell out of the
roof. No, but it's because then we
want to just like geckos to just shoot the tails off like fucking
psych and then they grow back. That's class.
But it wiggled for a full half an hour after hit the ground.
He will. And then I didn't clean it.
I want to see what happened. Have you met a koala?
No, yet he keeps. Telling me to meet a koala like
not. Like nice.
To meet Nice to meet you. Sir, they work part time in
woollies. I was asking my hairdresser
today, Woody Thompson, I was asking my hairdresser today
about it. That's like genuinely, it was
like you going like I've met Kevin Hart.
I was like, she was like, oh, met a koala.
I was like, what's he like? Nice guy and.
She's like, they fucking stink. They're like the smelliest
animal in the world. Well, I went to like the petting
zoo to see one in Sydney, but you're not allowed to hold it.
I didn't want to anyway. You can stand beside it, but I
think here and there's somewhere else where you can actually the
government, they're like, Nah, funk out on the headline.
Yeah, W has a different fucking. Yeah, it's the only state.
It's the only state I think you're allowed here in
Queensland. There's only two states you're
allowed to do it, the rest having no holding law.
So wait, I've ran up a lot in Can.
He do it in Brisbane. Quit.
That's Victoria. No, that is Queensland.
Yeah, isn't that? Yeah, probably.
Because the wee man wants that. Like we've got to do this for.
You're going to be able. To I have a look at my face that
I didn't know I had before until I started seeing photos and
koalas. As just did you see Quackers and
Rottnest? This get like genuinely.
That's the cuteest naughties if you see it.
Yeah, also, when he looked at one of those wee things, it was
like, you know the 2 Spider Man meme?
Yeah, where they're looking at each other.
They looked at them like that. People are getting photos with
Willie, I guess the biggest one we've seen.
There's a thing to do out here right now.
I don't know if it's still true, and I haven't been to
rottenness. I haven't seen the Quakas yet,
right? But there was a game out here
for a while. They're called Quaka Soccer,
where you would basically go through this and start booting,
no? No, come on, because they're so
cute. Because they're so cute and
because there's no, like, predators out there with the
same people, they're like, Oh yeah, how you going?
Can't. For a size 10 Jordan, that's
terrible. But I laugh when I heard what I
was like. That's hilariously dark.
I hate that and you can't go back in case someone kicks you.
My fucking legs are aching. You love them.
Like, see, when you go to rottenness, they which is people
don't know. It's like an island.
It takes half an hour. We went yesterday by ferry to
get to it. And that's the only place they
live. Yeah, you keep calling them
chalkers. And we went along with you
because we don't know. What they are.
I read it and thought it was Chalka but it's Kaka.
But they. Like when you're in the
restaurant over there, they're like round your feet.
And I at the start I was like, they look cute, but then they
are. So they are basically like giant
rats. Yeah.
They're like. Shedding everywhere.
I one time saw the first time I came out here was in Melbourne.
I saw a guy punch a possum. I swear to God, I was an Irish
contour. No, it wasn't until I was an
Australian guy, he's Irish. And we were walking along this
wee St in Melbourne and there's a there's like a wall with a wee
bit like a garden area in the middle of the city.
And this possum just fucking and the Australian guy was like, oh,
you fucking can't. And he whacked it.
And you would think because the size were possible that it would
go flying. And it just kind of went like,
what you doing you fucking more? Well, are you?
Are you going to move to a stream?
You love it. I would, I would love to come
out even for like 3 months if I could get somewhere, I could do
enough gigs that I'm not bankrupting myself.
I have the power plan. You did have an amazing plan.
We come out here and do the festivals next year.
Yeah, so you do. So how long is that?
So you do Perth, Adelaide, Melbourne, Sydney, it takes it's
January, May essentially for five months.
We could 100% do that would be. Great, and would you do like a
compilation show? Yeah, I've said the best thing.
Do a compilation show. Do a week of like solo shows.
Yeah, and. What, like a best of Irish kind
of thing? Like Belfast?
Yeah, you just like in festivals, if you just go best
of nationality, Yeah, people go to it like but that you said
that there was like, I haven't even researched this and I'm all
in. Yeah, I'll, I'll fucking
selfish. Would you?
What would you would would like live in here?
Be way better for your condition and your muscles. 100% like I'm
sore because we've moved a lot, but I'm not cramped up.
It is really fucking good for me and the swimming and that you're
able to walk, it's fucking great.
I haven't felt this loose ever. Yeah, it's fucking amazing and I
love that everyone is the. Weather affected as well, right?
Lovely. Think about your muscles when
it's cold all right, so think about mine where it's even
tighter. Seeing a really cold winter's
age. I can't really move.
It's sore to get out of bed, but here it's.
Fucking like psoriasis disappears too early, Yeah, I
mean all the shit that. And everyone here like what I
love by this. Region Karen isn't disappears as
well. Oh.
No, that's part of it. They're not still in me.
But the best part is no one's in a rush to do anything.
No, it's, it's the most chill. Like we were talking about, like
there's so many parts, but maybe it'd be interesting to hear from
you about like, like we think everything here is amazing.
Yeah, we're like, it's perfect. Like what's?
So what is the catch? It's actually living here.
I think the only catch 11 here is that the the rent is
extortionate, especially I think like especially in Perth because
they had like a mining boom that only sort of shed its pants a
couple years ago. Yeah, mine and boom.
I'm. Not make noise.
The first room I'm on a clock. Imagine I'm on space, right?
So there was a mining boom. Yeah, so they had loads of money
and I think it's just sort of round out.
So basically it's like the rents went fucking insane.
They didn't. I don't think they really had a
like a housing crisis that we had at home.
So that's kicked in now. So like there's certain things
were like like the dollars we get in the pound a minute, but
you'd still be paying like 7 LB a pint.
Yeah, do if you, if you do it in those terms, you were doing pint
terms, right, but. You're like, you're like the
pint, Martin Lewis. I have a dream.
I could save you 9 pints in your heating bill every month.
But that's that's what he does. That I can say is like I keep
saying, I don't know how anybody can be depressed out here when
you're always wearing shorts. Yeah.
But when the wind kisses. Your knees, you're going to be
like. But I'll say that you're saying
like it is dear in a pint. I think mean you have agreed on
this. The desire in a pint is nowhere
near strong. It's like, and I think any times
I've done a serious bit of drinking, you either can't get
drunk because you're sweating it out of you, or you get so drunk
so quick you save money in the long run.
Yeah. Right, right, right.
Right, like 2 lbs and I'm like I need to go to bed because I'm
fucking roast them. They're doing me wrong.
I've you see a lot more assholes, I think right here
because it's. Like a fucking bone fell behind
us. So I feel like I should point
out because this is so weird, people might think we're just
doing this in a hotel room so be weird to be.
What kind of fucking hotel room? No, no, no.
If they're if they're audio listener.
Oh shit is your budget? If they're audio listener, I
feel like we should we should have pointed out to start, we're
at the beach. Yeah, not mine, but we're
there's only in the car. Like I'll just go quiet spot.
Is my Spotify not working? Yeah, I feel like, yeah, I
should have flagged at the start.
We're at the beach. Is this a public or a pan trail?
It's public. Oh shit, hello people I did not
know. That your posture just got way
better. I did you know, someone walked
past again. Hide this boner.
It's I totally get why people do like if you're like 21 or
whatever, like of course you smooth.
Definitely something I wish I don't when I was younger.
Yeah, I've been here like. 100%. I feel that's the possession I'm
in because I don't have kids or a girlfriend, so I'm like
there's nothing. Like anybody I know, it's been
out here a while from Ireland, they'll get homesick, go home
within a week. They're like, that's enough.
Right, right, right. I have.
A couple of minutes like went back for Christmas and they're
like within fucking 10 days you would have seen everybody, yes.
And I'm happy enough. It's the same.
Yeah, since before you left. So you're talking back out you.
Do that thing. We're like the first day you're
out here on the way here. You're you're keeping up to date
with all the news from home. You know, like what I don't.
Give up back and the news from home when I'm at home.
No, but like, I don't mean the news.
Is that like BBC News? I mean like what everybody's up
to, what they're doing. Does that go away pretty quick
where you're like? Yeah, I think like, but I've
been coming out here that much in the last year anyway that it
doesn't really, that doesn't really factor in.
There's times though where like I'll wake up and news have all
had a bit of chat on the WhatsApp and then I'll go on to
bed and I'm like, right, I don't want to jump in with one because
it looks like either I'm going to wake us up or took me 5 hours
to think of a joke. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's times out like you will write in and I'm the only one
season, but I don't want flags. I don't want people to know
about 3:00 in the morning play PlayStation, so I don't say
anything. I haven't done any joke like
drunk face times home like New Year's Eve.
I got like because it's sort of agreed with someone, I'm going
to go off booze for January. So New Year's Eve I got fucked
and twatted and I think I told everybody in my phone I love
them. They like started it and just
worked well there. So you've not really been
drinking? No, because I think last time
you did the podcast back home, you were talking about maybe
knocking drinking on the head and and you were sort of fed up
with it. Yeah, I just like, I think like
we, we because me and Taylor sort of did like a basically
three month run around the UK and stuff.
So we were drinking loads. I put a fucking tonne of weight
back on after Edinburgh and then I just had a point where I was
like sort of bored of it. Yeah.
And again, being out here, you're just like.
You sent me your before and afters when we were on the.
Plane, yeah that's when I'm ones where I'm like I haven't put it
online and that to be further after was good like in the
changing room. You've put the working.
A fucking working out. Like fuck yeah 8 * a week.
Yeah. As I was texting it like 2 in
the morning on the plane. Just like a big giggling
schoolgirl class. But again, being out here,
especially I, I think I always like exercising the summer
anyway. You always get up earlier.
You always feel better about doing it.
And when you're out here and like in the sheet that I was in
and I'm still not in great shape, you do just go fuck this.
Like, yeah. I feel like I can't get trauma
I. Feel like a fat, But I've lost
the guts of a stone to have since Christmas.
Yeah. And I'm still like, no, I keep
my shirt on the poodle. That's all right.
Because that's everybody here is ripped and.
Also, even if they're not ripped, they're so like
confident because because everyone is so late.
But I feel like here versus home and even we're not as bad as say
somewhere like London, but like everyone compares himself to
everyone else at home. And like here, I feel like even
the people who aren't done on real shape, which aren't that
many people, they just carry themselves with so much
confidence. They're just like, there's a
thing that I like. If there's a there's a positive
and a negative to it, it's big enough that you can be
anonymous. So that's what I'm going to say.
You do meet more comes in a night out because it'll no one
will remember the next day. Right, right.
Right. But the flip side of it is
you're also like, Oh yeah, who gives a shit?
Yeah. But I would love to move like.
Is it something you would you would genuinely consider?
After being here a full day, yeah yes, I have no home as far
as I'm. Concerned, but I haven't flown
back from Australia. Not cried.
Yeah, like anytime in an airport in my pocket.
And you fly business home. Well, I do now I'm.
Grinding. You're flaming you.
Yeah, can't afford my phone bill but.
Did you did you say you hit it hard on the way here?
When I got snatter on the way, so I right, I won't put the
candle because it was wet. When I flew out at Christmas,
I'd upgraded the extra legroom, right?
So I was like, that's working class, business class.
That's as good as you can get for Grant.
But I had to do an all nighter and then drive to Dublin Airport
for like I believe the house like 2 in the morning right?
So went online and it was cheap to upgrade from Dublin to Doha.
So yeah, for anyone who does, it's like a what, 78 hour flight
in the Middle East? You go to Doha or Qatar usually.
And I was doing a 15 hour flight to Sydney, so I was like, right,
I'll upgrade the business class for the first flight.
That'll help my sleep. So I'll get a bit of sleep back
then when I get the second flight.
Because all I was saying was the jet lag, yes.
And for people who wouldn't be sure.
So like, because we're self-employed and you're coming
here to work? Yeah, you can claim that.
You've got tax, yeah, but it was like.
So I don't want anyone listen to me.
We're not like Jelly's a big shot, but literally like you can
claim it as a worker. That's the thing, yeah.
And that's the only reason that it is, Yeah.
And you do feel like a fucking cunt.
You pay for it in cash. Oh yeah, paid for in coke.
I was like what's it 500? Just cut half?
Just turn out to this fucking check in this with a set of
scales. How much 107 pints?
But it ended up like I. So I upgraded the business class
for the first light and I landed in Doha and my brain was going.
I was lovely, like I was I was. No drinks enough?
Did you sleep in that place? I slept for most of it.
And then when I woke up, I was like, oh, there's a cocktail
menu. I went, fuck, there's old
fashions on a plane, right? So order no fashions before
landed. And I was like, there's two
more, I'm quick. And then they brought the food
out and I was like, the food's unbelievable.
So then we got to Doha. I went, right.
How much is the upgrade from here to Sydney?
And the guy told me much it was. And I went no fucking where.
And I walked about 10 feet and my ego went fucking do it.
And I really want to say out loud how there it was, right?
It was fucking, it was a year's rent and I just went, I fucked
right. And it was the best money I've
ever spent in my life. I would do it again in a
heartbeat. So fucking good.
I would do it again in a fucking heartbeat.
That the seat in that plane treated me better than my
fucking girlfriend does. I've never had any one of my
nice my life be so nice to me as that stuff.
I do. You know what?
It was hilarious. When I got on it was you could
tell the staff were like, oh, it's his first time because I
was like, right? Dude, I was at the bar where
there's loads of like fucking, you know, premium, like spirits
or something. I'm like, are these me pastries?
Just the table. You're.
Like, was it like, you know, you know, boy, you know Borat when
he's in the lift and he's like, I will not move to a bigger
room. You could tell I was the only
guy. I'd never done it before as
well, because in our flight from Dub or from Doha.
So bring out a glass of champagne and I'm like, oh,
thank you, club. Another one.
I was like, why not? They brought out this week.
It was like a braised beef cube with like wasabi sauce and
stuff, right? I was like, oh, lethal nom,
right? I look around, everyone else is
carving it up and I'm like, oh fuck.
Yeah. The dude came over was like to
another one of those two and I was like uh huh, right, so you
said another one, though my brains going come on.
I covered up a gentleman, but A2 glass per second was a fucking
yeah. Once again the.
Meantime, everyone was setting up properly.
I was Batman. Batman versus Ninja Turtles
drinking the dearest whiskey on Earth.
The guy across from you is crunching the quarterly numbers.
Taking us off my taxes. I also know where they give you
the wee pyjamas. This is how stupid I am because
I've never flown it ever give those pyjamas.
I literally like got off from my seat, walked over to yours.
Man, am I allowed to put these on now?
I. Came up the.
I came up the I looking like the kid from Monsters Inc.
Just like, look at me. They gave me the pyjamas.
I look to win medium. That'll be all right.
Even the first one from dubbing the dough, I couldn't find the
headphones. And I was like, I thought at one
point, do my Bluetooth headphones connect to that
fucking TV? Right.
I got very above, like above my own station.
And the girl was like, oh, they're in the army.
It's just fucking you see Elbow? Elbow drops?
Do you have people's elbow? It's unreal and honestly and
like, when the hell would be the blankie?
And I feel the weight of that unbelievable, like the closest
I've got to it. I twice I've flown home from
here, I've had a row to myself and I was like, you can't.
Be. Oh, there's nothing.
There's nothing better and then I've upgraded the business class
and I'm like, this is better than my own house.
Yeah. Yeah, it's like it's the first
time I've been on a flight and when we were landing it was like
for fucks. You know what?
You. Do a couple of laps serving you.
Know you know what like guys talk about like my mate thought
that the the stripper fancied them.
It's like that with, because the airline air hostesses or
whatever there's like, there'll be like one of them for every
like 6 people. Yeah.
So they are Mr Bartlett, you know, And every time you speak
to them, it's, they don't look it up.
They just know, OK, that's Mr Bartlett and that's it.
You think they think you're. You know what I mean, man.
There was I I was lucky as well having like really, there was a
point where one of the stewardesses, you don't even
like saying stewardess, you want to go staff.
Yeah. And she put her hand on my
shoulder when I was drinking on the second flight.
And she went, can you handle this?
And I was like, Oh yeah. All right, Destiny's choice.
I'm making fucking. But there was a point where
scheme around or like ask what food I wanted, like, what do you
want for breakfast? And I went like, what?
I haven't flown business class, but watch it again.
And she went everything. Yeah.
I was like, ask Queen. What's that film Everything all
at once? Whatever.
Yeah, that was everything all at once or whatever.
Yeah. But who was my movie?
Oh we had, we had, I told you we had Rob Thomas from Matchbox 20
and the Scottish band Mogwai, so it was an All Star.
Flight All Star Flight man All Star.
I went down so I. Right I I'll find the slows on
this. I'm a huge Max matchbox 25.
Why wouldn't you be right? I love them.
I think they're great. I.
Don't know any of their songs but I'm I think of the song
Smooth. Yeah, it would have been great
if at 3:00 AM, you don't know what Rob Thomas.
Like must be lonely man. So I John, well, I sort of
chickened out of going over to him and I, I said the Willy
because of the way the seats were, I went, if you see Rob
Thomas, go to the bar, come get me.
We'll conveniently go for a drink, We'll get chatting to
him. That's all.
I don't want a selfie. All I want is what's happening
mate. That would be enough for me.
So what happened is conveniently Willie falls asleep for 5 1/2
hours, right? And then I woke up to go for a
piss and when and I was like half asleep and then I realised
he was in the bar chatting to everyone and I was like, this
would be perfect. But I just didn't have, I was so
tired. I was like, I can't do it.
And then I went to sleep. And then I think Willie came to
get me an hour later to go Rob Thomas in the bar, but I was
asleep, right? So it just didn't work out.
The only interaction I had with him was I'd went in my big
pyjamas that the sleeves were too big for and came back with
like a big handful of pastries and he just saw like this
fucking wee man child and pyjamas were too big for him.
Just like I was like, so I was like rolling.
Up the I do lose your mind, he. Was just looking at me like what
the fuck? Actually, he's.
Like I really, they handed the food out and I went, oh, this
will just be a better version of aeroplane food.
And I took one mouthful of the Mashed potato and gravy and
went, Jesus. Yeah, I had one bite on steak
and went fuck the NHS I think this is.
Amazing. I think it's the novelty for us
because if you weren't like going for work, you would never
do this in a million years. From now on I will endeavour.
That's the only way I fly and I like I'm going to have no, I
mean, obviously if I'm going to fucking.
You're not getting business class to Glasgow.
Yeah, I'm not going to get business class to fucking
Tenerife or go away for a week. Yeah, because it doesn't exist.
But like for the for the long flight?
The Ambassador, Where are you off to?
Ambassador Place last. America, I just like really
white bread. For me, it's nice to get off a
plane and not be sure. That was like a benefit for me.
I haven't anticipated fucking ground.
And then the heat and like, I know it's a cliche thing, but
like we stepped off the plate. It was like 7:00 at night or we
got delayed like by or. Let me tell you.
It does slap you like did. We tell you what the guy in the
Bay said to me in security. Do you remember this now?
So I came to have the weed lanyard to go through security
and they're taking me through. And then one guy, he was in like
full military uniform and the Bay, he looked like when
Sergeant Slaughter turned heel, that's what he looked like.
And he just went up. I was about to go through the
scanning machine. He was like, oh, we're a
pacemaker. Take this.
I was like, what? He goes, yeah, you're pacemaker
is. The guy running beside you.
I'm very welly I. Was like no no I'm fat and
disabled. That's 2 two different.
Things are unrelated. Everyone time coming out and.
So I'd be so scared there. I would agree to anything.
I'd be like no, no, it should be fine.
I have that. No, I got really, well, you've
seen me when I get annoyed. I'm not the worst content in
argument ever, so I just get pissed off really quickly.
So he's like, have you any papers?
And I was like, I have to fill out papers to get this.
They'll just give you. And he was like, just give me a
dirty look. He said.
Well, he said what the fuck? Did you say I send you back to
heaven? Guy, what were you going?
To say, oh, I don't remember coming, like going through Dubai
once and there was unattended luggage and I was like, I
remembered every fucking movies. And then all he's like, oh,
yeah, at least I could hear. Yeah.
I'm like, oh, fuck, I like went over this guy's like there's
almost 10. And he just laughed on my face
and he went, we're not trying to bomb us.
Nice homemade. I understand.
I found the smoking lounge in the Bay airport.
That's rough. You couldn't get in though,
could you? No.
I was in it. He couldn't get.
In is that the one of the Irish more.
No, it's literally just a room where you it's sponsored by
Chesterfield. Oh yeah.
There's there's ones you go to where like you open them all.
When I smoked, you open the door, just go.
It's no worse. Middle Eastern guy love, they
love smoking. Oh man.
Everyone on it was just an old Chinese businessman.
Yeah, when? You go when you go, do you have?
To do that, to get it, do you have to like assume that role to
get in? I just, I just want diesel 50.
A big oversized pseudo if. There's not much smoking room.
You're doing the eyes whether. You want to or not?
There's 15 people in that room and 20 of them were Chinese
businessmen. That's like there's just so
everyone there is just 90 years old.
Smoking and they don't flick the ass of the cigarettes either, so
they're doing that weird thing your granny would do.
You're like, you're like fucking ping.
Flick it like that quick. So where do you go?
Ain't got any gigs going up. That'll be the Adelaide fringe.
Were you? Just you just announced
Waterfront. Yeah, yeah, Oh yeah, Waterfront
was on the 6th September and that informs 20.
First, by the way, we're nowhere near in this podcast I.
Just, Oh yes, right now you stop checking.
I just, no, I would think I'm just sending it out.
So I remember, yes, I'm going to be with the Adelaide friends
that I'm going to be in Melbourne, Brisbane, Sydney.
Out of all these places and this first time I've seen personal
this trip because last time it was like flying to the show,
Yeah, fly out. Melbourne's my favourite.
I think like I because, well, last time I was in Melbourne for
two weeks I was hammered the entire time so I saw fuck all of
it like. I would tell people were like,
oh, what did you and Mickey get up to over there?
I was like, when I would like we would text each other all the
time because when I was leaving to go out in the morning, you
were coming back in from your night out.
Yeah, we're like literally shipping weed off of the cap to
each other. We've there's a bar of comedians
hanging about him. Oh, you took me to to.
Have a lock in and I was like, this is just me for that.
That's the only puppets on Melbourne for two weeks.
Yeah, and it's a shit hole. There's a great bar near us,
what's called Jam Juice, Jungle Juice, Jungle Juice.
So it seemed like that bar you took me some first night.
I get there, Mickey's like come on out as I'll go for one, I'll
go for one. And I went there and every
single comedian at the festival is there and you could everyone
was just like. They've been partying for a few
weeks and you could tell like everyone was like dead behind
the eyes, sunburnt, all this. And it felt like something
demonic in a way, like cultish were like, if you got me to have
more than one drink that would stay.
You would get the leaf. Yeah, you know what I mean.
You're afraid, Mr Bartley. You're.
So I want gin and tonic with you.
And I was like, no, I'm leaving. And you went.
No, you must. You must stay with me.
Yeah. Tell me on this.
For the time where last year we were seeing JoJo Sutherland and
she'd been out in the same room that I'm doing, but obviously
was drinking the whole time and we were like, how can you be in
Australia during summer and be whiter, right?
Having a fucking outside. You're just, yeah, you, you just
would all drink to like 5. You drank until they were told
you to stop drinking. And then we go to sleep, wake up
for the gig. Yeah, so I was like, there's one
night where I was going through my phone and before I was going
out with my girlfriend. But we like this whole she's a
comics result there. Like in the fucking room there's
a big comedians party and somebody was doing karaoke and I
was on stage letting the strip, letting on the strip.
And then I zoom around on the phone and I can see my now
girlfriend staring at me like that.
And I'm like I do not remember that happen like.
I remember that's what it was because I said to you a couple
of nights. I was there for like 5 nights
and on the third or fourth night, I was like, next year
after our show tonight, I'd love meeting you to go to karaoke.
And we were wrapped up at like half 10, right?
And you were like, I found a place to do karaoke and I went
to that bar with you and literally create my head.
And I was like, is this we're doing karaoke?
You went yeah. And you said it was like half
10. And he goes, it starts at half
12 and there's like 10 people already signed up.
I was like, good luck, All right, just left.
I want to just get up, do walking in Memphis and leave.
It's the big drainage wrap party like so it's I think it's free
booze and pizza and stuff like that and.
What was this for? What was the?
IT was. That Melbourne Comedy Festival
just. But it's great that it all, just
all the festivals talk. To Maggie.
I'll get your contact. Don't go home, just stay here.
Man, you've no idea how close I am that like it's.
Great to see like honestly how happy, not that you're not happy
at home, but you're so happy here.
And it actually, like, you know, people talk about wholesome
content. But it is there's there's a.
Lot like, literally if that homeless guy had like, bit him
on the neck like a zombie earlier, he'd loved it because
he'd just be happy to be. Here, there is something with
being out here and going. I'm out here doing stand up.
And because I do stand up, I mean, just you can't be in a bad
mood. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a This is the weirdest thing ever to say.
You sure? But like, there's a part of me,
it's a little bit proud. It's like, oh, I've got here
just because I tell jokes, you know?
And it's, it's the weird thing to say, but there's a little
baby. I just realised you think people
are walking past and thinking we're doing some sort of like
chains of PT and we're like. Guys before we started this
journey. I wasn't a word.
Thank you mate, Thank you V Shred.
I don't know what people are thinking.
Although everyone just does podcast the other day so like I
don't think it's that weird. It's yeah, it's only the only
weird things happened to where it's just that one Asian lady
and the guy who was in a bee suit for some reason.
Yeah, that was weird. Yeah, he lost his koala suit.
I've got a loss that made it was so cool.
I don't think I don't think we can get you to see a koala
today. It's OK, but that's this is
breaking my heart because you know what the earlier where I
was talking about, like getting a general plan for the day.
What did he have on his hand? A pamphlet for the koala
section. Yeah.
Not weirder. He had he had a pamphlet for the
quality. Where'd you find a pamphlet for
the quality? Because he's had.
It with the reception last night.
It's like, you know? How far is it?
Whereabouts is? It Craig haven't Craig Cake.
You're here to see the koala. Wait, wait there, close the door
because back out in your koala. I found out mate at.
The back of Rushmere. I meet you behind the bench in
20 minutes, maybe. Yeah, I don't think that's too
far. It's an.
Orange. It's an orange way.
All right. So, but we don't have time for
that. It's fine.
Do you know what?
You could do it, but you'd be gold by yourself.
No, I'd be fucking reactive. What time your show start?
Yeah, literally. Even looking at the pictures of
the koalas, there's a We will. Get to them.
No, it's fine. It's fine.
No, I believe you, but. But this is the only.
Do you want? Is it?
Important you to hold it or do you just want to?
Be I would like to meet one. Again, he's he said meet.
I just want to meet a koala. Yeah.
Thanks for all your work. Because the one in Sydney
versus. Committee here as well.
You're allowed. I'm not allowed to be touched
either. You're you're allowed to like
put your Hamlets back. People call me a bear.
That's I love it. I love it.
Well, we'll go get full fucking. Case like, I think I'm a lot
more pleasant to be around here and I don't know why.
Yeah, I'm not as angry. Yeah, definitely think if you're
doing that short, I think try not to form your arms because
it's fucking, but doing this shorter trip you'll have a bug
to come back like. Yeah, I mean, I went for one
walk and text you. How do I make a living out here?
Because yeah, you said you like we left you for a walk.
You came back. When I'm moving here, Mickey's
helping me. It's honestly, I think the best
way to do it because I've always wanted to do it, like if you can
come out through the vessels. It's exactly.
Did you say Mickey's help? Yeah, I got a job for the
government. I'm.
Moving here Mickey has a plan. I'm.
Not. Jumping off the Australian Prime
Minister? Well, sorry man, I know.
I was talking about like you were Dutch in red.
Then I was like, Mickey has a plan, have faith, have faith.
I'm not, I'm not jumping a gun here, but I'd go for one walk
and I'm never leaving. No, I was.
Walking around, I met God. He's in the juice bar.
Punching women. I was like, have you ever seen
the how I was walking around Perth?
Have you ever seen the video for LDM by Lily Allen?
Yeah, yeah. It's like a really bright and
comfortable as she's walking by. You say it's a shit hole.
Everything I saw I was like, that's amazing.
I walked past seven in the morning.
There's a big fat lady in her car scoffing a cream bum.
Bob's name. But she was saying it was a
murr. That's what you would call it
too, Getting scoffed. I told you I was like, you saw
fat lady scoffing cream bomb and you're like, why did you do
that? There's like, I didn't wrap the
window in the bell. Too bit early for us.
Well, he's getting scoffed tonight.
I hope you do get scoffed when Scott.
John, what do you see if? It's coffee.
You see, if it was a choice between a really hot person
being like, do you want scoffed, but I have to get up early to go
meet a koala. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, hey, Kelty. One day.
So where's that? Where's that?
Where's that hotel? And it's like very busy hotel,
but across the road there's a backpackers hostel.
And we walk past that me and I'll kind of shivered a bit
like, how crazy would that be? This guy was like, oh fucking
what? He was raging.
We were staying in the hotel and.
Not just stand outside the backpackers clipping your
fingernails and know what it means.
Thought it'd. Be something funny, I thought.
It was because he was about to buy nail Clippers.
Who's Neil Clippers? But it's like you are horrified
you two were horrified by the idea of a hostel.
Doesn't bother me, they're fine. Yeah, really called hostels.
Yeah, but he was like, he was raging.
He was raging that we had our own, like, room, you know?
I mean he's like fuck, like we have like a room where your your
safety is basically guaranteed. I wasn't raging.
I was like this is nice but like I was.
Just you saw that, you know, you know that meme of like the guy
in the bushes rubbing his hands. He saw that seven person mixed
or was like well he needs scoffed.
I told uses the time with the time I said.
Scoffed the Lithuanian. Yeah, I want Best scoffed.
Let's go. I'm trying to think of something
Nah. It's what we say, yeah.
No, I said that there's a place in Perth that I stayed at once
and it was, it was sketchy as fuck.
Was that the motel type place you were staying?
There it was I but it was like a called the Rendezvous Hotel and
it was like. Rendezvous.
Also there's your. Rendezvous, rendezvous or
rendezvous? It's Ron Devou.
I thought it was Rhonda. It could be rendezvous.
Yeah, yeah, anyway, Rhonda's Vous Hotel and it was dodgy as
fuck. And the fire alarm went off one
night and we all got kicked out and there was a woman who had
some of their messy teeth and the only thing she brought out
of her room was a like a massive case of them cans of Jack and
Coke. She's rested on a bin.
This is the worst fucking hotel I've ever stayed in.
It must be fucking bad because I switched to You would look
lovely. I like the idea that like her
family were in there but she chose to.
Everyone else got their passport and like fucking important shit.
She's 48. Was it?
Was it weird when you had the same thing?
No, mine were empty like poof. It it's fucking like every type
like this. Is this like beach we're at?
Right. Everywhere you go looks like the
best place ever. Yeah, like it doesn't get better
than this. I mean, there's it's hard to
find bad food out here even like.
Yeah, every. We have not had a bad meal like
everything. Lando's a shite.
Lando's as we. Went last time in now.
It's not as good out here as like, but.
I've learned if you make peace with the fact that it's
different, it's not bad. But the first time we came, I
literally, I stood in the doorway for like 10 minutes like
and people kept walking past me. I was like, maybe they're but
why they don't? They don't bring you to your
table and all that sort. Of thing I'm loving, everywhere
I go they're playing trance music, yes, that's very much up
my it's the only other place other than like East Belfast.
But the and also the lifestyle seems to be like you get a car
from 1995. And just drive the guts out of
it. Talk about with.
It. Yeah, I loved it.
It's awesome. I'm not going home, OK?
I'll join you mate, I'll. Join.
You sure you're helping? You're helping me, smuggling me.
Well, like they're overstayed your visa, guys.
Mick's helping me. Well, just buy a big coat and
get in your shoulders. But like, where would it be?
Like if you did come here for like half a year, whatever would
it be next? Would you be?
Doing like January time, I would look at doing it for that
because I've got Waterfront in December.
Right, right. So the best way to do it is
because the rest you. Worked out the system.
Yeah, the rest of the year it's too big a country to spread out.
Yeah, they actually make a living full time, stand up like
a lot of the gigs you doing, but shite.
So the best way to do it is come out, do the festivals, fuck off
home and have summer for a year. That's why I'm sort of.
Well then YouTube do a podcast. 100 percent, 100%.
I'll be I'll be give. 2 episodes for you ready to tell me because
I'm a cheeky cunt. No, what I hear, I'm not even
I'm. Lovely fucking you'll be right.
Max looking after, I mean, that's the, that's the podcast.
I told you it's called Max Looking After.
Max looking happy. You're a good guy, yeah.
Mickey. He's one of my fucking buys and.
He's a man of mine, he's made of ours.
Just go to fucking see. You remember we were shooting my
promo of me in the koala bar suit and there's just a group of
fucking teenage boys. Like he's dressed like a
fucking. Koala and also that's like a
fleece line suit that he brought Fucking.
Room. It was, I had on for 5 minutes
and like it was a nightmare getting it off.
Yeah, because it was like just, it was like peeling skin off.
It was fucking sweltering. Got a lot peeling skin off.
How's Nell roasting? Now looks like he's doing a
campaign for Zara. Please help me find Zara.
Zara went for a walk at 2:00 last Thursday and hasn't been
things since. Is carrying a case with Jack and
Coke. Now, like now like officially
loves it. Like he, just he.
Loves it. That's I thought it was an
actual second then. Now loves it.
He's doing I got to go do the
show the first time too, Hank, he's on have to roll the poo.
You're doing a double. Craig Haven.
Yeah, it's the three of them. What was the other one?
Niall Neil Pocket. Who gives it 5?
We'll get one more here. OK, we've got 9 minutes, Willie.
That's what you do. You do the waterfront and then.
Go away for a wee bit. I just.
But don't say it like that because then people think you're
a paedo. Well, he's had to go away for a
wee bit. No, I'm like the undertaker.
Whenever he's injured, I'll go away for six months.
I'll be back, right? I mean, you'll be on the
average. The gong goes off right Then I
just appear in a wee hat. Do you see him presenting the
cup in Saudi Arabia? Did you say that?
The undertaker presenting the cup in Saudi Arabia.
Right. So like Cristiano Ronaldo,
Reggie Cristiano? What are you reading?
The way I said it, I just thought it sounded a bit like
Scooby-doo. There's no reference that it
wasn't that smart. I just had something in the
throat. I was like, you know what he's
like Galifianakis, that gift where he's like trying to work
out all the sums around him. I'm like, right link between
scooby-doo, The Undertaker and Saudi Arabia go.
But he was a laugh like oh but like different cartoon.
They were like same genre. Cristiano Ronaldo's team were
still a show bridge as well but not name.
Christian Araldo's team were playing some final in Saudi
Arabia football and you know the trophy get presented by like an
ex player or something or like the sponsor.
It's the full Undertaker in character Undertaker.
Saudi Arabia was a mad placement.
That's not having too much money and.
Yeah, they're doing stupid shit like the.
Players are even like the fuck is this guy?
Don't look at him, Yeah. This guy's died twice.
There is an award show from 96 that undertake it like it was a
mainstream 1 the comment it was like a music award or.
Something like MTV? Music award, something like
that. I don't know why, but the
undertaker was presenting an award.
But just before, just before he went on stage, he got served
divorce papers, right? So there is a ceremony, the
undertaker full attire. It's being like, please take me
back. How does he talk?
Please take me back. That was you.
The first time that was you to that method.
Earlier. Yeah, we did the first time, the
undertaker says. I guess please take my back.
I'm trying, boys. That's me, the Undertaker.
The Undertaker have I? Asked me, boys.
Limestone. You too.
So what's it called? I can't mind.
Rest in peace, boys. That's it.
Just however sad. Oh yes, time to play in the Game
Boys. Let's go.
Where they smell that he's cooking something again.
That's the bottom line I'm telling you.
Can't find them? I can stone cold tell.
You. Stone freeze until you.
Don't motherfucker. Do you think?
What? You got to do bro.
It's. All About the Game Throne
Versus. Good welfare somewhere and aid
bunch. Just fuck 1/4 and then I got
that's warm now I'll. See you in hell someday for.
I won't be intimidated the right way.
Like yeah, good someday effort. And when's your show?
November. September.
September. 6th 6th Thick. 6th of September.
That's a lovely day, sexy promo picture.
Thanks man some. Really, some really awesome
people were born on the 2nd. Birthday, is it?
Well, I have a good idea. I know where you can go is
Waterfront Hall. That's a show you're doing here,
is it? It's like, not really.
It's a version of it. So basically what I'm doing
sneakily is writing the show while I'm out here.
So by the time we get back to Belfast we a brand new show will
be seen. So you're like swapping out bets
as the company OK, you're. Syphoning bits off.
Syphoning bits off? Yep.
Mining for gold. And prospect yours November.
December 13th. Have you announced yours?
No, but you will by the time. Yeah, by the time myself.
I I I was in December 13th last year.
Great day effort. Yeah, great day for Yeah Scumbag
millionaire. Come see it.
Seen his poster? Not yet, actually, no.
Oh, it's great. It's good.
It's. Great, goodbye.
Nicely the right the actual. Fucking show.
I remember being in Dublin. We were doing Olympia that day.
Me, you and Andrew Ryan went on a boys trip during the day.
We went cold water swimming, we went the house and it was great.
It's the best ever with the host.
Was that the day I was going to say whose house?
Was that the day Andrew Ranch kept the impression of Elton
John from both select? Yes.
Backstage are under hands coming in you're going from what do
you. He lost, he lost his mind a bit,
but that's the day you told us you were talking about.
The Story of. The idea of the show, but not
like it was a show and the story of it.
You know, like you both stop and they're like in a Hollywood
movie, you turn into the guy and be like, that's the that's the
show. Both at the same time clock and
we were like it. Took a lot convincing to do.
That's the show. And you were like, you're not
sure about it because it is very much putting yourself out there
like, yeah, it's and it's very, very.
Personal I'm fucking off for six months after.
I. Said OK, all right.
You know Mickey, the guy lost away from taking meth.
Or wrap it up. What do you we'll go get
something. Yeah, what do you want to do?
I have a short half set, but until then.
OK, we're getting picked up at $70 Shameful comedy.com for
tickets for my show. Yeah.
Shine.net for mine. Shine.net for mine.
Shine.net shine a lot on. Me, the tech of.
Yep, shine.net. Yeah, clear it out.
Just buy anything. I fucking web piss out doesn't.
Matter what it is say select all.
Yeah, 10 tickets for All Someday All be great shows.
Someday. 4 points thanks to Niall for producing this and
sitting over there like a like that'd be like a if you're like
a side profile picture of him, like sweet, like album cover it.
Would be a nice album. He's doing like a Jack Johnson
type music, yeah. That should be the black and
white photo of your autobiography.
Yes, just in the middle. Niall and the coffin.
Yeah, you would like you've just.
Dropped the sound of the summer. Like, yeah.
Yeah, loves it. The Autobiography.
This is the guy behind your favourite albums?
Yeah, you know, yes. So thanks, thanks to everyone
for everything and let's. Go for it. 3:00 Yeah.
Go for a wee dip. Now you're trying to do your
age, trying to get you into the cult.
Oh, I'm so innocent. Yeah, there's. 3. 2 minutes. 2.
It actually is 2. Minutes three guys, thank you
very much for watching, for listening.
See you next time. All the best.