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I'm Michael Che and I'm Colin 
Jose, and we've got a little 

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secret. 
Actually, it's a pretty big 

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secret. 
Well, now you got to give the 

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people something. 
I'm not saying a word. 

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Oh, then people will know to 
tune in. 

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Come on, tell them a little like
how we're hosting of comedy 

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events streaming only on 
Peacock. 

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Exactly how it's called New York
After dark. 

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And it's a comedy show that only
features drop in comic boom, you

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nail into Michael Chase phone 
numbers. 

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Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey,
New York After Dark. 

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It's some kind of comedy thing, 
and it's streaming now only on 

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Peacock. 
You love it. 

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Zippers, don't get angry, don't 
crack up. 

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A very, very quick note for me, 
the chief zipper, just to say 

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that we were supposed to do the 
live podcast this Sunday, but 

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we're going to put it back for 
one week purely because Mummy 

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was supposed to go on a trip. 
It looks like it's going to be 

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delayed or cancelled, so I have 
hired out the entire merchant 

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hotel just to have a little nap 
in. 

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So I'm going away this weekend. 
I don't want to rush doing the 

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live episode. 
We're going to move it back a 

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week. 
I hope that's OK. 

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Please, please don't be my 
friend. 

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Please don't be my friend. 
I love you. 

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Thank you zippers. 
Welcome to the tea with me 

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podcast me, she and Todd. 
We may well include that at the 

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start of the podcast where I 
don't know if my takeaway tea 

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has almond milk and it could be 
regular milk. 

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And for the purpose of the 
podcast, if and I'd set it out, 

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I'm going to set it out. 
I don't know how we smell it and

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see if you think it's if it's 
almond because I only have 

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almond milk. 
I don't have a hey, why is COVID

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such a big thing here? 
Sniff the lid of my coffee. 

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Sniff my lid. 
What are you thinking? 

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It's yeah. 
And I've already taken a sip all

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the two sippers. 
If this is a 3 minute podcast, 

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we all know why. 
We all know why. 

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But listen, I'm just going to 
set it out. 

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And this one of the first times 
I've done the podcast with like 

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T. 
But we're adopting at the 

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minute. 
That's what it's all about. 

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That's what life's all about at 
the minute. 

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Everybody's adopting, 
everybody's learning new skills.

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And that's one of the things I 
want to talk about because my 

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man Rishi Sunak, no Rishi Sunak 
100% sounds like somewhere in 

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Turkey where people from Belfast
go to get really cheap, like 

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veneers put in and stuff. 
Like 100%. 

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It sounds like somewhere your 
uncle will go for a hair 

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transplant. 
You know, he comes, he's been 

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bald for years. 
He comes back with a, with a 

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quiff and you're like, what are 
you doing? 

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And he goes, mate, I'm just back
from Rishi Sunak, Rishi Sunak. 

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So in somewhere that I would, I 
would definitely like to be in 

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Rishi Sunak with a couple of 
cocktails just enjoying myself, 

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Rishi Sunak. 
But unfortunately Rishi Sunak is

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just a terrible guy. 
He is the Chancellor of the 

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Exchequer, he's a politician and
he's basically said, which is 

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very adequate. 
He's busy said something like 

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pretty offensive to a lot of 
people, which is mild because I 

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think the government's handling 
of COVID up until this point, 

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both locally and over in London 
has been exemplary. 

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If I'm honest. 
I think, I think I want to say 

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right now that I think Boris 
Johnson and his cabinet have 

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done a brilliant job. 
I think they've really, they've 

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handled it well. 
I think I think I speak for 

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everyone want to say it's a good
time at the minute, especially 

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freelance people like myself. 
Mike, you loving it too? 

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He's loving it. 
We just want to give. 

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Hey, we just want to say to the 
Tory government, nice work. 

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Thank. 
Yeah, we'll say thanks. 

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Because what we lack in money, 
we make up for in goodwill 

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towards your handling of this 
whole thing. 

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But a bit out of character. 
They have done something a 

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little bit sly and that is Rishi
Sunak. 

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And I think that undermines me 
being angry at this because his 

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name is Rishi Sunak. 
Like you can't be angry at Rishi

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Sunak. 
Rishi Sun Rishi Sunak is fun. 

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And also try centre five times 
really fast. 

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Rishi Sunak, Rishi Sunak. 
Rishi Sunak. 

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Rishi Sunak, Rishi Sunak. 
But Rishi Sunak essentially came

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out not as gay. 
He came out and he said 

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musicians, people in that kind 
of industry, probably comedians 

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too, should just retrain. 
Just retrain and go and do and 

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another job stopping short of 
sent a real job. 

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And then what's kind of funny is
and what 2020 is, is like he 

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said that in an interview with 
ITV. 

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And then ITV had to be like, oh,
yeah, he didn't actually say 

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that. 
But the headlines were already 

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out there. 
The tweets were already out 

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there. 
And Rishi Sunak was just getting

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hammered for it. 
And then Rishi Sunak's like, 

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hey, I didn't say that. 
And then everybody's like, yeah,

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but you have also, you and your 
mates have done so much else 

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that is bad, you know, So he's 
getting attacked for it. 

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My mom, Rishi, soon. 
I didn't even really say that. 

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But there is that attitude of, 
you know, go and do a real job, 

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you know, to musicians, to 
comedians. 

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And I really resent that because
as a comedian, I work very, very

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hard. 
On average, for about 20 minutes

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a week, you know, on a Wednesday
night or whatever. 

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If I'm doing 3 gigs in a week, I
could be working for three hours

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and I and I'm going out there 
breaking my back, working hard 

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and Rishi Sunak sending me back 
down the mine. 

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I don't want to go back down the
mine. 

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OK, because I've been down 
there, I've done manual labour 

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before. 
My hands are scarred. 

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I'm only joking. 
I've just worked in a call 

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centre before. 
But I I just want to just keep 

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doing stand up Rishi Sunak and 
Rishi Sunak. 

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I don't know why you're not 
letting me do stand up. 

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And people are like retrain, do 
a real job. 

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Do you know how much of a 
nightmare I would be in a real 

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job? 
If you like. 

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I'm a stand up comedian, so it's
my job to try and be funny. 

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That's the job is take the funny
out of everything. 

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Something horrific happens, try 
and find the funny out of it. 

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That's why comedians get 
criticised a lot, because people

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all you can't say that sometimes
you'll get it wrong, but often 

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you're just trying to find a 
little bit of lightness in the 

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dark or something really silly 
could happen and you make a joke

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out of it. 
Like on my way to the studio, I 

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saw two. 
Here's the thing, there's two, I

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don't know them as such, but 
there are two gentlemen lovers 

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that live, I think around here. 
2 gentlemen lovers. 

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OK. 
And I saw these two gentlemen 

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lovers just for came down the 
studio on a tandem bicycle. 

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And you might not think that 
that is true. 

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And you might be like, oh, 
that's just something he's he's 

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made-up. 
But Big Mike's in the studio and

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Big Mike, I'm not going to show 
this on camera in case someone's

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like, oh, that's actually my 2 
uncles and I actually didn't 

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know they were in a 
relationship. 

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But like Big Mike's uncle on his
friend. 

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Look, comedians, we, we 
sometimes work hard for last, 

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but then sometimes we see two 
gentlemen lovers on a tandem 

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bicycle. 
And the key thing is in matching

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luminous jackets, matching. 
Here's the thing. 

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If you are on a tandem bicycle, 
wear different clothes. 

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Because if you're just two men 
on a tandem bicycle in the same 

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outfit, I can't go on with my 
day. 

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I can't do anything. 
I can't go home and look after 

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my son because the whole time 
he'll be, you know, cooing away 

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and he'll he'll be like giggling
and stuff because he's just a 

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wee baby. 
But, and I'll be smiling back, 

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but my head's not there. 
My head will be thinking about 

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the two gentlemen lovers. 
I think they could just be very,

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very good friends. 
But I'll be thinking about them 

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in a tandem bicycle because that
is the point their relationship 

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is at where they're like, I 
can't cycle without you. 

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Why? 
Why do you think that they're 

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what? 
Why do I think the gentleman 

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lovers? 
Because I think it had. 

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It has been. 
Yeah, I'm in a way I'm making an

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assumption because someone has 
point. 

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It has been pointed out to me 
before. 

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And that is a sign that, you 
know, a lot of places in this 

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part of the world are still 
catching up. 

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You know, in this, in this, if 
you want to say country, if you 

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want to say island, if you want 
whatever you want to say. 

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There's definitely been an 
ideated attitude towards the 

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notion of two gentlemen and 
being lovers. 

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And it has been pointed out to 
me before that they are two 

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gentlemen lovers. 
Someone has said to me before 

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they are the two gentlemen 
lovers. 

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Now this was a long time ago, so
it wouldn't even be pointed out.

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No, but this was back in the day
when people would pointed out. 

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And the reason I know they're 
gentlemen lovers now is because 

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they've done bicycle and there. 
And there is something about 

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that that was so, so beautiful 
to me. 

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I only took a picture of it to 
show you. 

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I'm not gonna obviously want to 
post that or anything like that,

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but it's just to show you that 
while there is madness in the 

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world, there is also beautiful 
things happening to like. 

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Seeing that gave me so much joy 
in my heart that it made me for 

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a minute and I'll think about 
Rishi Sunak. 

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I don't want to hear about Rishi
Sunak telling singers, you know,

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go work in a totally different 
job. 

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I want to see gentlemen, lovers 
or not, getting on tandem 

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bicycles because you can't be 
really annoyed at anything if 

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two guys go past you on a tandem
bicycle. 

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It's just a, it's just a, it's a
nice moment as two people 

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literally working In Sync. 
But Rishi Sunak, what he 

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actually had said was people in 
all walks of life might have to 

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retrain and go and do a 
different job. 

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And part of me, like part of me 
understands that. 

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But then he can't say that 
because his government has 

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handled this really badly. 
So it's because of his friends, 

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his mates that he works with, 
that we would have to go and get

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different jobs. 
And I've never thought about 

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really, I've never really 
thought about what would I do if

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I had to get a job because I've 
worked jobs before, since I was 

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like 1516. 
I, I've been on the dole before 

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for a couple of weeks. 
We used to take in a wee book 

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and they go, what have you been 
doing? 

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And you're like, oh, just this 
here. 

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00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:45,400
And they're like me and I really
don't care. 

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Here's your £50 or whatever. 
And so I thought what I would do

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is in case I do need to get what
the Tory government would 

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00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:59,800
probably call a real job. 
And I thought I would look at 

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some weird jobs around the world
that I could potentially get. 

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00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,800
So number one on this list of 
weird jobs I found that I could 

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potentially do is a professional
pusher. 

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Japan is indeed a hardworking 
nation. 

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It makes sure that all its 
people reach work on time. 

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And that's why Japan has 
employed people to push others 

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on the trains so that nobody is 
late for work. 

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00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,800
Now, this is imagery that we've 
seen before. 

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00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,880
How many times you've seen 
videos online where there is 

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00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:32,240
people in Japan literally being 
forced on the trains and the 

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00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:34,400
door can barely close, but they 
get them on them? 

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Like I've never seen just one 
guy being left on the platform. 

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They're like, no, everybody's 
getting in. 

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And I remember reading something
that said some people in Japan, 

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if they're going on a really 
long train journey and they're 

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00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,480
going to be like boxed in like 
that, they were adult nappies. 

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00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,440
I'm not, I'm not making that up.
That is actually a real thing. 

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And that's terrifying because on
a Translink train here, you 

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00:11:58,560 --> 00:12:01,080
know, if someone's within, even 
before COVID, if someone's 

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00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,240
within 2 feet of you there, 
you're going to talk. 

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00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:07,640
You know, we don't like people 
being packed into trains, but in

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Japan, they love it. 
Could I see myself as a 

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professional pusher? 
Yeah, I like pushing someone in 

224
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:18,720
the right. 
Pushing someone is enjoyable if 

225
00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:21,600
it's a friend, you know, like we
playful, playful, you know, just

226
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,680
a playful push. 
When you like, you know, you're 

227
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,920
like shut up and all you just 
gives, like when one of your 

228
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,240
mates is like here, what are you
doing? 

229
00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:29,040
We should go down to Halfords 
and look at town, the bicycles 

230
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,520
and you're like shut, you know, 
you just give them a little a 

231
00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,200
little shoulder push. 
I like that. 

232
00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,600
I like you know, whenever, 
whenever you're playing football

233
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,240
maybe and you get into a little 
bit RG bargie with someone in 

234
00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:40,960
you, you know, the two hands 
shelf. 

235
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,000
That's enjoyable. 
Haven't done one of those in a 

236
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,440
while or been given one of those
in a while. 

237
00:12:45,200 --> 00:12:47,000
But pushing it, pushing is 
enjoyable. 

238
00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,360
Like punching, I wouldn't enjoy 
that. 

239
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:49,880
Wouldn't ever like to hurt 
someone. 

240
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:54,120
But pushing someone on their 
train, yeah, 100%. 

241
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,800
Like, yeah, I could do that. 
And the guy in the little, the 

242
00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:59,040
little Japanese and I'm not. 
And by the way, when I said the 

243
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,040
little Japanese man, I'm not, I 
can't see that compared to other

244
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,400
people. 
He is not that tall. 

245
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:05,880
And that's not me saying Asian 
people are small, but that's me 

246
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:08,760
saying that this guy I'm looking
in particular is a small man. 

247
00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:13,200
And but he's got like a wee 
pilot's hat on and white gloves 

248
00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,640
and a full suit. 
And I like that he's a 

249
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:17,480
professional pusher. 
You were thinking that job, 

250
00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:19,480
you'd wear your own clothes, but
he's got all that gear on. 

251
00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:23,760
So I would, I would like that 
number 2 rental boyfriend in 

252
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,480
Tokyo. 
So hey, we're still in Japan. 

253
00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,520
If you have the money, finding a
boyfriend as easy as it gets. 

254
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,720
I don't really know what all the
boys, what professional 

255
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,320
boyfriends do, but it sounds 
like fun. 

256
00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,840
A rental boyfriend. 
I don't like the idea of being a

257
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:42,160
rental boyfriend mainly because 
I am an actual husband, so I 

258
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,080
don't think my wife would be 
delighted if I was like on the 

259
00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:46,720
way to work here. 
Where are you going? 

260
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:48,960
Oh, just over to be a rental 
boyfriend. 

261
00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,600
I don't think that will go down 
well. 

262
00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:53,920
Rental boyfriend though. 
Dolls sound like an indie band 

263
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,760
that would play Queen student 
junior whenever you were 

264
00:13:55,760 --> 00:14:01,160
younger. 
I'll not read all these open 

265
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,800
number for professional sleeper.
I could be a professional 

266
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:07,200
sleeper, and professional 
sleepers doze off while 

267
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,480
scientists conduct research on 
sleep disorders. 

268
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,840
This has to be undoubtedly the 
most comfortable job on the 

269
00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:15,720
planet. 
And no, that's not for me as a 

270
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:17,160
job. 
If I had to get a real job 

271
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:22,880
because I don't like the idea of
people watching me sleep, is 

272
00:14:22,880 --> 00:14:24,360
this the thing? 
The other people not like this 

273
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:27,320
as well. 
The idea that somebody, because 

274
00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,680
you're so you're vulnerable when
you sleep, especially the way I 

275
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:34,880
sleep vulnerable, you know, I 
sleep in a very vulnerable way, 

276
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:38,240
like very much fatal position on
my side. 

277
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:44,520
But I wouldn't like that because
I even remember whenever I was 

278
00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,720
staying in an airport hotel in 
London, it was like he threw a 

279
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,840
gap work and it was it's a wee, 
it's a wee job. 

280
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,400
But this all comes back to 
Japan. 

281
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:57,400
It was a wee Japanese hotel in 
the airport and it's called like

282
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:02,440
I nearly said, it's like this, 
but I know it's not this, but 

283
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:07,440
it's like right, it's the hotel 
is called something like you 

284
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:12,440
sushi, but I know that it's not 
you sushi because I know London 

285
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:14,640
airport. 
I just need to cover myself here

286
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,320
for legal reasons. 
I really hope it is something 

287
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:22,800
like you sushi. 
It's called the you tell it's 

288
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:29,040
it's a Japanese owned from and 
it's called you tell as in like 

289
00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:31,560
hotel. 
But yo, this is a hotel in the 

290
00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,040
airport. 
So it's actually in the airport.

291
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,920
I've stayed in. 
I like staying in the airport 

292
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,920
because you literally roll out 
of bed and you go through your 

293
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:42,320
security gate. 
You don't have to, you know, 

294
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,920
when someone's like, we'll stay 
in the hotel airport, but it's 4

295
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:46,640
miles away and you've got to get
a shuttle bus and the shuttle 

296
00:15:46,640 --> 00:15:47,800
bus isn't there. 
And then you've got to get a 

297
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,160
taxi in and it's stressful and 
you may as well stayed in the 

298
00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:54,400
city. 
I stayed in the you Hotel and 

299
00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:59,080
lovely Asian gentleman checked 
me in and then brought me to my 

300
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,120
pod. 
So it's like you stay in like a 

301
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:05,120
pod, like a very small room and 
true story, if anyone has stayed

302
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:09,200
here before you'll know this. 
There is a hatch at the front of

303
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:13,360
the room. 
So on the door there is like a 1

304
00:16:13,360 --> 00:16:19,600
foot by 1 foot glass screen and 
it has like a adjustable thing 

305
00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:23,240
where you can like look in from 
inside or you know from inside 

306
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:25,240
you can look out and people can 
look in or you can obviously 

307
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,840
close it. 
And I went into my room and it 

308
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,320
was really late at night. 
I just back from a gig in London

309
00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,240
and the guy working there said 
open or closed. 

310
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:39,040
And I said what do you mean? 
And he said screen on door open 

311
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:42,560
or closed. 
And I was like, I might be weird

312
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:46,960
here and go for closed because 
if I said had his head open, 

313
00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,400
anybody walking down the 
corridor could have just picked 

314
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:55,120
in and just seen me in my wee 
Japanese pod all curled up like 

315
00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,600
why? 
Why is it an option? 

316
00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:00,680
Why is it an option? 
Like what is what is the benefit

317
00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:02,760
of being able to look in? 
Why was he give? 

318
00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,359
And then when I say closed, he 
looked at me like, oh, very 

319
00:17:05,359 --> 00:17:07,400
well. 
I was like, presume the people 

320
00:17:07,400 --> 00:17:09,319
want to close and then if they 
open it, that sort of thing. 

321
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,400
But yeah, I couldn't be a 
professional sleeper. 

322
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:19,280
Umm, OK, let me see. 
No, I don't like that water 

323
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,520
slide tester. 
Yeah, water slide testers have 

324
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:25,440
to check all aspects of safety 
and make sure these rides are 

325
00:17:25,440 --> 00:17:28,359
absolutely safe. 
There's always medical insurance

326
00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:32,400
for those who bring a boner to 
water slide tester is definitely

327
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:33,480
something I can get on board 
with. 

328
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:37,800
But I did nearly die on a water 
slide in in Turkey once in in in

329
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:41,800
Rishi Sunak in Turkey. 
I, I was at AI was at a water 

330
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:45,720
park in Rishi Sunak and it was 
the Rishi Sunak water park. 

331
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:50,480
And it was like 4 slides that 
are very fast and you've got to 

332
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,800
go uploads of steps, really high
slide. 

333
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:57,520
And I went up to the top and 
everyone I was with were like, 

334
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:59,040
let's do a race. 
And so you can get to the 

335
00:17:59,040 --> 00:17:59,800
bottom. 
First. 

336
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,640
The slide I was on, I'll try and
describe this. 

337
00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:06,920
Well, it was like a tube. 
The slide was like a tube for 

338
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,640
about 20 feet and then it opened
up into a half tube. 

339
00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:14,040
So just your back was on the 
slide and it was open air, but 

340
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:17,640
the start of it, it was like a 
tube that then opens out. 

341
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,200
Thought in any way makes sense. 
I wanted to win the race so 

342
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:26,680
badly that I pushed myself off 
from the wee top that you hold 

343
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,080
on to. 
But I pushed myself off that 

344
00:18:29,080 --> 00:18:33,960
fast that my back left the slide
because also gravity keeps your 

345
00:18:33,960 --> 00:18:39,480
back down and but I does it. 
I'm not sure, but I left it off 

346
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:43,800
to the point where where the 
tube opens like, you know what I

347
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,120
mean? 
Like this, I hit my head, my 

348
00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:49,360
forehead on the bottom bed of 
the tube that was open. 

349
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:53,360
And I came to when I was in the 
weed pool at the bottom and all 

350
00:18:53,360 --> 00:18:55,040
the lifeguards were blowing the 
whistle like, you need to get 

351
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:55,640
out. 
You need to get out. 

352
00:18:55,640 --> 00:18:59,040
And I was like, I, I die. 
I thought I died, you know, and 

353
00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:00,360
they were like, you need to get 
out, get out. 

354
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,840
And so I don't think I'll be a 
good water slide tester. 

355
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,760
And then also, once I was in 
Florida, I went down a slide. 

356
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,320
My mom insisted that I wore arm 
bands and I was actually a 

357
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,880
champion child swimmer, which is
true. 

358
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,840
And the one not a lot. 
Like I did a couple of gallows 

359
00:19:16,280 --> 00:19:20,760
and when I was younger and for 
some reason I had to wear arm 

360
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,800
bands even though I could swim. 
So embarrassing. 

361
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,480
And I hit the pool at the bottom
and one of the arm bods came off

362
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:30,600
and I was very calmly swimming 
to the side to grab the arm and 

363
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:32,360
then get out. 
But I was obviously swimming to 

364
00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,560
do this. 
And a guy who's clearly a 

365
00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:37,600
lifeguard but has never had to 
go in before was like, this is 

366
00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:41,880
my moment. 
And he just dived in to drag. 

367
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:43,680
Like they put me in the safety 
position and Get Me Out. 

368
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:46,640
But it was a small pool. 
And when he dived, he just busy 

369
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,480
landed on me and obviously 
wrecked me. 

370
00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:50,240
So when I came out, I was 
crying. 

371
00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,640
And he said to my like my mom, 
he was like, there's your boy, 

372
00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,640
you know, And he's like, he's 
upset. 

373
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:57,160
He can't swim. 
He lost his arm. 

374
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:00,800
And I was like really crying. 
You fell on me for a piece of 

375
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,960
shit. 
So I wouldn't like to do that 

376
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:09,000
chicken sexer. 
I could be a chicken sexer. 

377
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,040
A chicken sexual job is to 
identify the gender of a baby 

378
00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,080
chicken. 
That's about it. 

379
00:20:18,040 --> 00:20:22,040
It feels like an easy job. 
I wouldn't mind it. 

380
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:28,480
But then I don't like the idea 
of, you know, just assign an 

381
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,280
agenda to the chicken without 
first speaking to the chicken 

382
00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,760
about it. 
You know, don't like the idea of

383
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:36,800
me saying you're a boy to the 
the check. 

384
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:41,160
And it's like, you know, with 
his eyes, it's like, no, you're 

385
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,320
wrong. 
So I don't like the idea of 

386
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:51,440
assigning genders to cheques. 
Basically, umm, pet food taster.

387
00:20:51,440 --> 00:20:55,920
No professional mourner like a 
funerals. 

388
00:20:56,920 --> 00:20:59,440
Yeah. 
Yeah, it's bit of me. 

389
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:09,400
We'll do one or two more. 
What the fuck is that last one? 

390
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:14,320
Wrinkle chaser? 
A wrinkle chaser says that all 

391
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,880
wrinkle chasers make sure there 
are no creases on shoes when 

392
00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:20,120
they're W out of the factory. 
How else would those high heels 

393
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,560
look so classy? 
I mean, that is potentially the 

394
00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:26,240
sassiest job of all time. 
I'm a wrinkle chaser, darling. 

395
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:29,040
I'm chasing the wrinkles. 
What does that mean? 

396
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:32,880
I'm looking at heels, darling. 
If there's a crease, it won't 

397
00:21:32,880 --> 00:21:36,400
leave the factory. 
I would like to be a wrinkle 

398
00:21:36,400 --> 00:21:40,480
chaser, 100% wrinkle chaser is 
going to be the name of my next 

399
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,720
stand up show just chasing those
wrinkles. 

400
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,680
And so yeah, fair play, Rishi 
Sunak. 

401
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:53,640
I've taken your advice on board 
and then I'm looking at other 

402
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:57,280
other potential careers. 
But it is quite funny that Rishi

403
00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,800
Sunak didn't might have not 
actually said however, so you 

404
00:21:59,800 --> 00:22:02,280
did say at least like I didn't 
ITV have deleted their tweet and

405
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:03,680
everyone's like, I know, but you
still sell it. 

406
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,720
He said, Oh yeah. 
And like, yeah, I want to look 

407
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,800
on NME for the actual article 
there and it says this page 

408
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,520
doesn't exist. 
So they all had to take it down.

409
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:16,160
But that in a way that is, I 
don't really have sympathy for 

410
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:21,000
government at the minute, but 
but that kind of is the way it 

411
00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:25,560
is at the minute where someone 
will misquote a person slightly 

412
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,400
and then there's going to be a 
headline tomorrow. 

413
00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:30,320
She and Todd says all tandem 
bicyclists are gaylords. 

414
00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:32,800
I'm no, I'm not. 
No, let's be clear. 

415
00:22:32,840 --> 00:22:36,760
I'm not saying tan anyone on a 
tandem bicycle is gay. 

416
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:45,840
I'm saying that I'm saying that 
tandem bicycling is maybe not 

417
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:51,200
the straightest sport in the in 
the world, but then again, is 

418
00:22:51,200 --> 00:22:54,400
any form of cycle and very 
heterosexual is it? 

419
00:22:55,440 --> 00:23:00,960
As a guy who who rode a bicycle 
every day up until he was 21 and

420
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,200
passed his driving test, I 
didn't think I looked 

421
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,760
particularly cool doing it. 
You know, I didn't think I 

422
00:23:07,760 --> 00:23:10,240
looked masculine doing or 
anything like that. 

423
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:14,400
So at the end of the day, I 
think if we all cycled about a 

424
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:17,240
little bit more and had a bit of
fun on a bike, I think to be 

425
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:21,240
less prejudice in the world. 
So yeah, I don't mean I'm happy 

426
00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:25,400
to go with one of those jobs. 
Or if there's if, if there's 

427
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:28,200
just jobs, I don't know about 
the people because sometimes you

428
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,680
see the worst jobs of all time. 
Like I've seen that documentary 

429
00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:33,320
in Channel 4. 
Think what do you call Timmy 

430
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,960
Mallet? 
Know who's got those Time Team? 

431
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:42,200
Not Timmy Mallet. 
Tony Malt. 

432
00:23:42,880 --> 00:23:43,960
Tony. 
Tony Soprano. 

433
00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:46,760
Yeah, he did a documentary like 
the worst jobs of all time. 

434
00:23:46,760 --> 00:23:49,960
It was like Victorian jobs when 
I went, you know, they went down

435
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,280
wells and all that kind of 
thing. 

436
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:54,680
Fuck off. 
If I if I didn't do stand up, 

437
00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,760
What about if if the government 
were like can't do stand up 

438
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:01,520
anymore? 
Stand up band got to get like a 

439
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:03,360
real job and I was like, all 
right, no worries. 

440
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:07,840
And then just relaunch myself as
a musician because, you know, 

441
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:10,920
even though music gigs aren't 
happening, it would be nice to 

442
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:12,760
say that I've done it. 
I always dream of it, like 

443
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:18,400
obviously do MCPS or sometimes. 
So that might be fun, but I 

444
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:19,600
don't know. 
I'm just going to keep, I'm just

445
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,520
going to keep doing stand up and
I'm just going to keep doing it.

446
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:27,240
I think. 
I mean, maybe I won't be able 

447
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:29,240
to. 
And then I will have to get some

448
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,040
sort of other job. 
But if there's creases to be 

449
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:36,400
fined, I'll chase them. 
And I mentioned Victorian jobs 

450
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,480
there. 
And then there's a link at the 

451
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:43,880
bottom of this to 56 delightful 
Victorian slang terms you should

452
00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:46,840
be using. 
See, this is what I'm all about,

453
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,640
bringing old phrases back, 
bringing words back like 

454
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:54,640
Christian Naire news on the 
podcast earlier in the week, by 

455
00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,880
the way, what a great episode. 
Umm, Christian was talking about

456
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:01,280
the phrase Buck Alec, calling 
somebody Buck Alec, which is 

457
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:03,600
great. 
And then today he said, I said 

458
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,360
using any more new phrases and 
he said start calling people a 

459
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:09,360
goat again. 
Goat is brilliant because it 

460
00:25:09,360 --> 00:25:12,800
could be an insult or a 
compliment because now people 

461
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,560
say go greatest of all time. 
So if you're like what you're 

462
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,600
doing, you fucking goat, some 
people might be like, oh, thank 

463
00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:20,960
you, but you actually mean 
you're an idiot. 

464
00:25:21,480 --> 00:25:28,560
So these are phrases British 
writer Andrew Forrester 

465
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:33,080
published of Passing English of 
the Victorian Era, a Dictionary 

466
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:36,320
of heterodox English slang and 
phrase. 

467
00:25:37,200 --> 00:25:40,120
Thousands of words in it 1870 
have drifted away. 

468
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:42,720
But this was a way to like 
preserve them and bring them 

469
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:46,120
back. 
So I'll not look at the meaning 

470
00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,160
of it. 
I'll tell you what I think it 

471
00:25:47,160 --> 00:25:49,520
is. 
The first one is afternoonified,

472
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:52,800
like personified, but 
afternoonified. 

473
00:25:53,280 --> 00:26:01,680
Does afternoonified mean? 
No, I don't know what I mean. 

474
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,920
A society word mean and smart. 
For example, the goods are not 

475
00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:09,720
afternoonified enough for me. 
I mean, I enjoy saying it, but I

476
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:12,680
don't get it, you know? 
I don't get it. 

477
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,400
Like if I go to a bar and then I
leave and then people text me 

478
00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:19,000
like where'd you go there? 
I say sorry mate, place wasn't 

479
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:20,640
afternoonified enough for my 
liking. 

480
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,760
Afternoonified is fun to say. 
I like it. 

481
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:30,600
Orphan. 
Orphan for norf. 

482
00:26:32,680 --> 00:26:36,160
Orphan Orph, a figure of speech 
used to describe drunken men, 

483
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:38,720
for example. 
He's very orphan for norf, 

484
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:44,120
meaning he has had many arfs or 
half pints of booze. 

485
00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:48,520
So an arf was 1/2 pint of booze?
Yeah. 

486
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:51,680
Oh orphan. 
Oh, like an arf of lager. 

487
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:56,520
Ah man, I got scooped last 
night. 

488
00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:59,040
What's wrong? 
I slip an orphan orphan off. 

489
00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,600
I was orphan off because the 
place was an afternoon fight. 

490
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:07,280
Backslang it. 
Thieves used this term to 

491
00:27:07,280 --> 00:27:09,560
indicate they wanted to go out 
the back way. 

492
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:15,040
Dirty bastards back slang it. 
Don't get it. 

493
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:18,600
In 1850 there was a term called 
bags of mystery. 

494
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:22,520
Bags of mystery that was a term 
for sausages because no mom but 

495
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:26,320
the maker knows what is in them.
The bag refers to the gut which 

496
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:29,720
contained the chopped meat. 
I mean that doesn't sound very 

497
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,280
health and safety. 
They did call something a bag of

498
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:35,080
mystery and I don't like the 
idea that only the butcher knows

499
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:36,680
what I surely he can just tell 
you. 

500
00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:40,840
I love that the butcher's like, 
listen, man, I love that I love 

501
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:43,040
to tell you what's in these, but
it's fuck it. 

502
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:46,320
I haven't a baldy, mate. 
I haven't a baldy. 

503
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:49,400
I mean, all I can tell you is 
there's a bag of gut and the 

504
00:27:49,400 --> 00:27:52,920
shop made inside it. 
But it could be peg, it could be

505
00:27:52,920 --> 00:27:56,960
squirrel meat. 
Bang up to the elephant. 

506
00:27:58,520 --> 00:28:00,880
Bang up to the I haven't heard 
anyone ever say to me bang up to

507
00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,000
the elephant. 
The phrase originated in London 

508
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:11,520
in 1882 and means perfect, 
complete, unapproachable by as 

509
00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,880
bang up to the elephant. 
That's a brilliant phrase. 

510
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,840
What's his podcast like? 
Bang up to the elephant myth 

511
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:21,040
Bang up to the elephant. 
Enjoy that. 

512
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:26,960
And there's 1A phrase here 
called a body Fang, Batty Fang 

513
00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:34,240
spelled Batty Fang, Batty Fang 
low London phrase meaning to 

514
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:38,000
trash thoroughly, possibly from 
the French butter a phone. 

515
00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:44,520
So if I was going to trash, if I
if you piss me off, I would come

516
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,520
to your house and I would just 
do a Batty Fang. 

517
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:52,720
I'd get off my I'd park my 
tandem bicycle and I'd Batty 

518
00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:58,600
Fang your house so bad Banjo, a 
19th century sailor slang for a 

519
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,880
riotous holiday or a noisy day 
in the streets. 

520
00:29:01,600 --> 00:29:03,600
I'm away. 
I'm away to Rishi SUNY for a 

521
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:07,800
banjo here. 
By why mutton? 

522
00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:11,200
A naval term referring to meat 
so bad it might be dog flesh. 

523
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:14,400
Oh, that's by why mutton It 
How's your burger? 

524
00:29:15,040 --> 00:29:18,360
By why mutton? 
By why mutton Sounds like a 

525
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:20,080
complete character in a Sunday 
World. 

526
00:29:22,440 --> 00:29:26,480
You'd a Brigadier By why mutton?
Bricky, brave or fearless? 

527
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:33,000
Umm, meaning someone meaning. 
Yeah, meaning someone's brave. 

528
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,240
Uh, butter up bacon 
extravagance. 

529
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,560
Too much extravagance. 
Are you going to put lace over 

530
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,720
the feather? 
Isn't that rather butter up 

531
00:29:42,720 --> 00:29:44,720
bacon? 
Butter up. 

532
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:47,320
That's a fucking belter of a 
phrase. 

533
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,600
Because you obviously don't need
butter in the bacon because it's

534
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,640
like it's rich enough. 
You know, it's fatty enough. 

535
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,560
Butter a bacon is butter a palm 
bacon, right? 

536
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:02,080
Butter a palm bacon, right? 
That's a brilliant phrase. 

537
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:06,440
The next time I'm doing like a 
big show, like a big stand up 

538
00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:10,840
show and I say, listen, have we 
got the gold curtains? 

539
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,880
And they say, yes, we've got 
your requested gold curtains. 

540
00:30:14,280 --> 00:30:16,960
And I say I want my microphone 
to match. 

541
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:18,400
I want the microphone lead to be
gold. 

542
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:22,080
Also I want someone to turn 
around to me and say but is is 

543
00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:25,640
that not butter upon bacon? 
And I will really enjoy it and 

544
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,280
then I will slap them. 
Eh. 

545
00:30:30,520 --> 00:30:35,080
Church bell, a talkative woman. 
You can definitely hear people 

546
00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:37,960
saying that she's a full of 
church bell myth. 

547
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,680
Chuckaboo, a name given to a 
close friend. 

548
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,480
Oh my God, that is cute. 
Hey Chuckaboo that I'm bringing 

549
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,000
that back 100%. 
I'm calling every, I'm calling 

550
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,320
everybody I see today for the 
next 4 hours. 

551
00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:55,480
Chuckaboo. 
I go to the garage. 

552
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:58,000
He's like yes mate, I go yeah, 
diesel and pump 9 there 

553
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:01,520
Chuckaboo, what do you say? 
Diesel pump 9 Chuckaboo, thank 

554
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:07,720
you. 
Can I have diesel, full tank of 

555
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,600
diesel? 
And then could you just give me 

556
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:12,120
like 6 litres of diesel on the 
side? 

557
00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,800
And then he's going to go. 
But is that not butter upon 

558
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:15,520
bacon? 
I go. 

559
00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:28,920
Let me see. 
The Desi age, A phrase mean an 

560
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:31,320
elderly because it makes the 
spectator giddy to think of the 

561
00:31:31,320 --> 00:31:34,520
victim's years. 
The term refers to a maiden or 

562
00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:36,120
other woman. 
Canvas by other maiden. 

563
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:40,040
Oh, meaning like they're so old 
if you actually got to their 

564
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:42,040
age, it'll leave you. 
Does it? 

565
00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:43,000
Yeah. 
It's kind of funny. 

566
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:48,200
He's a desi age doing the bear, 
a courtship that involves Hogan.

567
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,880
I think doing the bear in 2020 
means something entirely 

568
00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:57,240
different. 
And I mean, Hogan definitely is 

569
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,360
part of it. 
Doing the bear. 

570
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,360
I mean, I think if I hit it off 
with someone like, you know, 

571
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:07,440
male friend and I was like, 
listen, do you fancy doing the 

572
00:32:07,440 --> 00:32:09,600
bear? 
I think they might think that 

573
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:11,400
was an invite for Dave Elliott 
to get involved. 

574
00:32:17,080 --> 00:32:18,880
Another phrase is don't sell me 
a dog. 

575
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:22,320
Popular until 1870, this phrase 
meant don't lie to me. 

576
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,240
Apparently people who sold dogs 
back in the day were prone to 

577
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,360
trying to pass off much as 
purebreds here. 

578
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,520
Don't you sell me a dog. 
Sold the pup. 

579
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,480
Sold the pup. 
You've been sold the pup. 

580
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:38,720
But that sounds cute. 
Pups are cute and sold the pup. 

581
00:32:38,720 --> 00:32:41,720
I've never heard that don't sell
me a dog lesson. 

582
00:32:42,280 --> 00:32:46,920
Don't sell me a dog here. 
A door knocker is a type of 

583
00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,320
beard formed by the cheeks and 
chin being shaved, leaving a 

584
00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:53,320
chain of hair under the chin and
upon each side of the mouth, 

585
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,320
forming A moustache. 
Something like a door knocker. 

586
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,560
Craig David had a door knocker 
back in the day. 

587
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:08,560
Fly rink an 1850. 
An 1875 term for a polished bald

588
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:12,600
head. 
Some fly rink on your mouth. 

589
00:33:14,480 --> 00:33:22,600
Do you want to hug a bear? 
A gal sneaker is a man devoted 

590
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,520
to seduction. 
I'm a gal sneaker dog. 

591
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:30,600
Umm. 
Giggle mug. 

592
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,280
A habitually smiling face. 
All right. 

593
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,160
Giggle mug. 
Umm. 

594
00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:43,000
My dad's called. 
Someone give him more. 

595
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:43,640
Definitely. 
Yeah. 

596
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:51,040
In fact, that's his name for me 
and my fucking an excellent word

597
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:56,000
that means getting ready in the 
streets, mafucking. 

598
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,440
You're going my fucking mental 
in the streets. 

599
00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,120
If something's absolutely 
preposterous, you say, make a 

600
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:13,760
stuffed bird laugh, right? 
Oh my. 

601
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:17,280
Oh no. 
This 1883 term for a policeman 

602
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,000
is so much better than peg 
mutton shunter. 

603
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:26,120
Mutton shunter. 
Mutton shunter does sound very 

604
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:33,560
dirty. 
Someone who takes the day trip 

605
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,480
to the beach. 
He brings his own provisions and

606
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:36,960
doesn't contribute at all to the
resort. 

607
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:41,840
He says as a nose bagger, if 
someone's not well, they're not 

608
00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:46,280
up the deck. 
Well, yeah, it depends how sick 

609
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,760
you are. 
But I know whenever I'm on the 

610
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:53,199
weather or in bed with the flu, 
I'm definitely not up the deck. 

611
00:34:56,639 --> 00:34:58,680
Although to be fair, that is one
of the things that will get me 

612
00:34:58,680 --> 00:35:04,000
up. 
Let me see if someone has a 

613
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,560
prominent nose that can be said 
to have a parish pickaxe. 

614
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,400
I don't know what that means. 
I don't know what that means, 

615
00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:14,120
but someone's getting called in 
the next door. 

616
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:27,560
Oh no, no, there is a phrase 
here that's described as to 

617
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,120
feel. 
This phrase means takes its rise

618
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:34,200
from rifle practise where the 
bad shot misses the black and 

619
00:35:34,200 --> 00:35:37,880
white target altogether and 
shoots into the earthbot, and 

620
00:35:37,880 --> 00:35:39,600
it's known as shoot into the 
brown. 

621
00:35:41,640 --> 00:35:45,000
So if I was to say to someone, 
do you want to hug the bear and 

622
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,280
then shoot into the brown? 
Actually that would mean do you 

623
00:35:48,280 --> 00:35:50,480
want to have a hug? 
And then we could go to shooting

624
00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:57,760
range to win. 
Something back in the day was 

625
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:00,680
called take the egg to take the 
egg because that was the price. 

626
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:06,400
Oh, if something was thoroughly 
understood, it could be known as

627
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:14,760
an humble constable, an humble 
comes double stumble, a term in 

628
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:18,440
an inferior noisy singers that 
could be liberally today talked 

629
00:36:18,440 --> 00:36:21,000
about his karaoke sessions were 
whipper UPS. 

630
00:36:21,640 --> 00:36:23,520
They're whipper UPS because 
they're saying karaoke. 

631
00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,320
I mean, that's very, very, very 
enjoyable. 

632
00:36:26,680 --> 00:36:29,360
And I'll try and use these all 
in a sentence now. 

633
00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:33,280
Oh man, went out last night 
then. 

634
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:38,320
Yeah, the place wasn't like the 
bar was good, but it wasn't 

635
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,960
afternoon if I'd enough for me. 
But to be honest, I was orphan, 

636
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:46,640
orphan orph. 
And yeah, listen, well, I would 

637
00:36:46,640 --> 00:36:48,880
have been more drunk, but I 
lined my stomach because I had a

638
00:36:48,880 --> 00:36:52,680
few bags of mystery beforehand 
and well, they were nice. 

639
00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,240
They were they were buying up 
for the elephant. 

640
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:59,280
But like, I to be honest, I lost
a run of myself and sort of 

641
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:01,240
throwing things around the bar 
and I actually went into the 

642
00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:06,320
toilets and body found. 
Yeah, because I was on, I was on

643
00:37:06,320 --> 00:37:10,320
my banjo. 
So, yeah, when I went nuts and I

644
00:37:10,320 --> 00:37:12,640
had some food there then, but it
was by Roy Mutton. 

645
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,520
And, you know, I was like, 
should I keep drinking? 

646
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,200
But I thought that would be 
butter up bacon. 

647
00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:22,280
And I was just, I was pissed off
because I had a church. 

648
00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:25,040
Bellamy here. 
I shouldn't say that she's a 

649
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:29,600
chuckaboo, but it's a bit older 
than me. 

650
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:32,040
She's a dizzy age. 
But then I left. 

651
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,040
I went to, let's just say, a 
different barn, another side of 

652
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,280
town. 
And I was doing the bear before 

653
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:39,680
I knew it. 
And I swear to God, it was. 

654
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:42,080
Do you believe me? 
Listen, I'm not selling you a 

655
00:37:42,080 --> 00:37:45,480
dog here. 
No, it was the fella I was, I 

656
00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:49,120
was with the, he had a door 
knocker and a fly rink. 

657
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:53,200
And he was, I was, he was 
enjoying himself because he had 

658
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:57,520
a giggle mug the whole time. 
And Oh, yeah, I mean, listen, me

659
00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,640
and him went out after closing 
time and did a bit of my 

660
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:04,320
fucking. 
And then we actually got scooped

661
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:09,280
by a mutton shelter. 
And then and then we were in the

662
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,840
sales all night. 
And in the morning he, he asked 

663
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,240
me if there's anything else I 
wanted. 

664
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,560
And I just had to be straight 
with him and say, listen, I'm 

665
00:38:16,560 --> 00:38:19,080
not up to deck here. 
And he said that was a real 

666
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:24,000
shame. 
He said that was a real shame 

667
00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:26,840
because, you know, he wanted to 
take the egg. 

668
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,960
And then I went out and just, 
you know, did a bit of singing 

669
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,760
and we were just two whipper 
UPS. 

670
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:34,600
There you go, guys. 
I think that was pretty 

671
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:37,120
enjoyable that that Victorian 
slime. 

672
00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,440
So maybe that's what I could do.
Maybe I could translate modern 

673
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,000
day English into Victorian 
slime. 

674
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,920
Very enjoyable. 
We have a load of questions here

675
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:54,720
from zippers. 
And OK, so Lacy yet says This is

676
00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:56,160
why the ray of lockdown is 
ending. 

677
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:58,240
Well, that's actually not a 
podcast question. 

678
00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:00,320
Yeah. 
Radio One have a new dance show 

679
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:04,720
starting Friday nights at 6:00. 
Not good. 

680
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:09,120
Absolutely not good. 
We're going to find out who is 

681
00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:11,640
behind that and we're, we're 
going to bring them down. 

682
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:15,760
Don't you worry about that. 
Umm, Lawlesson says. 

683
00:39:16,840 --> 00:39:19,400
Who would win in a fight, a bear
or a gorilla? 

684
00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:24,880
If you if you if you mean in 
this sort of coded sense, I 

685
00:39:24,880 --> 00:39:28,680
would say, well, hold on. 
What is a gorilla in the gay 

686
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:40,290
community? 
Gorilla gay slime a silverback, 

687
00:39:40,330 --> 00:39:42,930
right. 
A silverback is an older, well 

688
00:39:42,930 --> 00:39:45,330
established gay man the praise 
and younger gay men. 

689
00:39:47,450 --> 00:39:49,810
It's also a sexual manoeuvre in 
which a man haven't already 

690
00:39:50,250 --> 00:39:51,890
fuck. 
Maybe I should have started this

691
00:39:52,410 --> 00:39:53,770
urban dictionary won't let me 
open it. 

692
00:39:53,890 --> 00:39:55,210
That's how that's how rude that 
is. 

693
00:39:55,610 --> 00:40:00,000
And if we're talking like a 
straight up fight between a bear

694
00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:05,560
or a gorilla, probably a bear 
because I think gorillas are 

695
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:09,400
meant to be dead on because 
Attenborough was falling about 

696
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,280
with a few once and having a 
good time and they didn't try 

697
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,960
and attack them. 
But bears are. 

698
00:40:14,720 --> 00:40:17,360
I'd say a bear would be more of 
a dickhead than a gorilla, 

699
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:22,080
definitely. 
So I'll go bear, but it depends 

700
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:28,040
what sort of bear it is as well.
I don't know, Reba says. 

701
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,920
How much more insufferable do 
you think Connor keys will be? 

702
00:40:30,920 --> 00:40:34,360
Know that Facebook and Instagram
have banned Q and on accounts 

703
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:41,040
and no, I think Connor so Connor
and Mickey do the I'm not. 

704
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,800
Maybe we're talking about that 
chair and Young's podcast in 

705
00:40:43,800 --> 00:40:47,040
which they do talk a lot about 
it comes a lot of conspiracy 

706
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:50,760
theories, but they don't like 
what would you say? 

707
00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,760
They don't like totally push the
conspiracy And by the way, 

708
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,040
there's loads conspiracy 
theories that they don't believe

709
00:40:57,040 --> 00:41:00,920
as well, and but they don't like
push their conspiracy theories 

710
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:03,880
on people. 
So I don't think easy is anyway 

711
00:41:04,080 --> 00:41:07,760
is in any way an insufferable 
conspiracy theorist. 

712
00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:12,200
And also there's people who are 
just as insufferable that are 

713
00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,800
against conspiracy. 
They talk about how much they're

714
00:41:14,800 --> 00:41:17,680
against conspiracy theories to 
the point where you're like, OK,

715
00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:21,720
but Connor is very much someone 
who will chat about it with you 

716
00:41:21,720 --> 00:41:24,680
if you want to chat about it, 
but he's not like here. 

717
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:30,480
You need to hear this and also 
shout out the KZ, Mickey and 

718
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:33,160
James McKechnie because we got 
through limelight again last 

719
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,240
week, General Panther Comedy 
Club and it was 10 out of 10. 

720
00:41:36,240 --> 00:41:40,200
Great. 
But I didn't know Facebook and 

721
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:41,760
it's going with banking on 
accounts. 

722
00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:46,240
I don't know. 
I don't have time to look into 

723
00:41:46,240 --> 00:41:48,000
all that or really understand 
it. 

724
00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:52,600
I just know that the Internet 
seems like and get ready for the

725
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:53,920
broader statement you've ever 
heard. 

726
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:59,120
Pretty mild place at the minute.
Rory Arkin says if you were 

727
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,800
stuck in an island and can only 
have one person with you, why 

728
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:05,920
would it be Harry Styles? 
And it would be Harry Styles 

729
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:08,960
because he's a chuckaboo. 
Simple as that. 

730
00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:13,280
Number one chuckaboo. 
Yeah, it would be enjoyable 

731
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:17,320
being a desert island with with 
Styles because he's fun. 

732
00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:21,600
He's cute, he can sing 
watermelon sugar high, which I 

733
00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:24,720
really like. 
And I think we, I think we would

734
00:42:24,720 --> 00:42:26,720
have a good time. 
I think we would have a good 

735
00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:32,960
time and let's leave it at that.
And if if after he wanted to go 

736
00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:36,080
cycling with me, I would propose
that we did it on the one bike. 

737
00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:42,560
Jared says not a question, but 
an apology. 

738
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:45,400
I sent you a frankly deranged 
direct message on Saturday while

739
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,240
under the influence of pretty 
hardcore painkillers after a 

740
00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:51,040
procedure. 
I'm flogging myself daily as a 

741
00:42:51,040 --> 00:42:53,400
punishment. 
It didn't even make any sense. 

742
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:57,360
Sorry, Mommy. 
And let's see What? 

743
00:42:57,680 --> 00:43:00,040
I'll not read the whole message 
in case it genuinely was 

744
00:43:00,040 --> 00:43:02,240
deranged, but I don't remember 
it being that bad. 

745
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:05,600
Sure. 
I mean, definitely it won't be 

746
00:43:05,600 --> 00:43:06,760
the weirdest message I've 
received. 

747
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:10,320
Oh, yeah, it's long before we 
get to that. 

748
00:43:11,320 --> 00:43:14,280
And George sent me a question 
last week that I could, I didn't

749
00:43:14,280 --> 00:43:16,600
want to read out and I did talk 
about it was like, I'll need to 

750
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:21,360
speak to him first. 
But he said that he had some 

751
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:25,120
issues with the stomach and that
I'm not general area for a 

752
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:27,800
couple of years. 
And it came to the head when he 

753
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,120
was in a lot of pain. 
He killed over and he thought it

754
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:34,440
was down to stress, but he lost 
a lot of blood, couldn't figure 

755
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:41,320
out what it was, but basically 
on his way to hospital for an 

756
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:43,520
endoscopy, which is where they 
put a camera down your throat. 

757
00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,360
He was on his way to Ultimate 
Galvin to get that done. 

758
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:49,000
He listened to my podcast, would
Call and Get Us and the Bill 

759
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:52,120
where I describe what my chromes
is like, and it sounded like I 

760
00:43:52,120 --> 00:43:54,480
was describing how he was 
feeling in every way for three 

761
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:58,040
months. 
So he became like an old man and

762
00:43:58,040 --> 00:44:00,440
had the layabout for a week. 
He went to the doctor with this,

763
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:04,320
played him the actual clip. 
So make no mistake, Gerard 

764
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:09,160
Brawley was in Ultimate Galvin. 
Send a doctor listen to this and

765
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:10,920
then just play on the tea with 
me podcast. 

766
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:13,760
And he said that that described 
his condition. 

767
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:15,000
The doctor checked the small 
boy. 

768
00:44:15,040 --> 00:44:19,040
Hey presto, he has chromes. 
She used my discount code to 

769
00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:22,840
your chromes. 
Separate one will will get you 

770
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:24,720
chromes. 
After years not having a 

771
00:44:24,720 --> 00:44:27,040
diagnosis, not being able to get
treatment apart from blood 

772
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:32,120
transfusions and iron infusions 
usually until help me get a 

773
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:34,560
diagnosis and possibly save me 
from further years of being 

774
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:35,880
sick. 
I owe you one. 

775
00:44:36,160 --> 00:44:40,800
You're not officially my hero. 
No, I didn't know whether George

776
00:44:40,800 --> 00:44:43,160
just meant that because I'd 
written up under a shadow for 

777
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,880
podcast questions. 
So I'd ask first, but he's OK 

778
00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:51,960
with me reading that out. 
But then yes, you did send me a 

779
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:54,680
long message on Saturday. 
And I'm going to be honest with 

780
00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:57,360
you, it was while I was playing 
football. 

781
00:44:57,360 --> 00:45:00,520
You sent it at 1:40. 
But I enjoyed it. 

782
00:45:01,760 --> 00:45:05,800
I enjoyed it. 
And then essentially for, and 

783
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:08,040
let's not overstate it for 
saving your life. 

784
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:13,600
You have you said that your 
girlfriend or your partner made 

785
00:45:13,600 --> 00:45:17,520
made you buy me a Nando's gift 
card, which is a beautiful 

786
00:45:17,520 --> 00:45:19,400
gesture. 
But at the same time, if you 

787
00:45:19,400 --> 00:45:21,480
really thought it saved your 
life or you valuing your life 

788
00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:27,640
for like £30 because it should 
be at least a 50,000 LB Nando's 

789
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:30,160
gift card, which I would make 
good use of over 3 days. 

790
00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:33,960
No, that's, that's very nice. 
I mean, you could've lied and 

791
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:37,400
said it was your idea, but that 
is, that is very nice. 

792
00:45:37,680 --> 00:45:40,360
And anyone who has croons, can 
you send me another gift card 

793
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:42,960
please, whether you've known 
about it for years or not, 

794
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:45,440
because I would enjoy that. 
But Jared, don't worry about 

795
00:45:45,440 --> 00:45:47,280
sending me rambling messages. 
That's what that's what the 

796
00:45:47,280 --> 00:45:52,800
internet's for. 
Matthew Collins says why did why

797
00:45:52,800 --> 00:45:56,360
did you spoil and why did you 
and the international superstar 

798
00:45:56,360 --> 00:45:58,800
and E Belfast hurler spoil the 
fall for me? 

799
00:45:59,000 --> 00:46:03,280
What else can you spoil? 
And I can spoil a lot of things,

800
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:05,520
honey. 
But yeah, I apologise. 

801
00:46:05,520 --> 00:46:07,080
We're talking about the fall. 
We might have given away a 

802
00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,000
little bit of a spoiler, but 
then again, we might have just 

803
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,640
been doing like a little bit of 
a tease. 

804
00:46:11,640 --> 00:46:14,120
That actually isn't the thing 
because I used to know people. 

805
00:46:14,120 --> 00:46:16,360
I said, you've seen this film. 
They say I go, Can you believe 

806
00:46:16,360 --> 00:46:18,880
the guy dies? 
And then people will be like, 

807
00:46:19,400 --> 00:46:21,640
oh, and then they go to film the
guy doesn't die and be like, I 

808
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,720
love that you said that because 
I was expecting them to die. 

809
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,440
But yeah, sorry. 
But that what else could I 

810
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:30,280
spoil? 
I could spoil EastEnders depend 

811
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:34,200
on where you're at in in where 
you're watching it from, because

812
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:36,320
if you're watching it from the 
start, like over lockdown, if 

813
00:46:36,320 --> 00:46:40,120
you started EastEnders at the 
start, let's just say dirty Dan 

814
00:46:40,120 --> 00:46:42,720
dies. 
But uh, does he? 

815
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:47,040
I don't know. 
Leave it at that. 

816
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:48,320
Leave it that have said too 
much. 

817
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,360
Matthew Merlin. 
Glad I got to learn about buck 

818
00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:52,800
Alec. 
But what exotic animal would you

819
00:46:52,800 --> 00:46:55,120
like as a pet? 
So let's see, Buck Alec had his 

820
00:46:55,280 --> 00:47:00,760
declawed D toothed lion. 
And what exotic animal would I 

821
00:47:00,760 --> 00:47:04,760
like as a pet? 
It depends. 

822
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:07,320
Because I would want it for 
probably for practical reasons, 

823
00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:08,720
because I'm not really an animal
guy. 

824
00:47:09,520 --> 00:47:15,600
So maybe I could see myself 
riding on an animal's back to 

825
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,400
get the places. 
I think that would make a real 

826
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:20,320
statement. 
But not like a horse, like a 

827
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,920
Panther, Panther or something 
like a Wildcat. 

828
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:29,040
Like I could see me on a 
wildcat's back and like just 

829
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:30,960
showing up the business meetings
and stuff like that. 

830
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:35,040
I think that would be enjoyable 
if if it promised never to turn 

831
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:38,760
on me because I would hate that,
you know, if it eventually I 

832
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:43,040
threw me off its back and at me.
So yeah, probably like a Panther

833
00:47:43,040 --> 00:47:46,400
or or a Wildcat, but not like 
the usual ones like a tiger or 

834
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,280
the, you know, regular people 
have as pets. 

835
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:52,680
Something majestic. 
Something majestic, definitely. 

836
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:59,920
Or like a really, really 
sarcastic fat cat, you know, fat

837
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:01,880
cat who just has very sarcastic 
guys. 

838
00:48:02,480 --> 00:48:03,800
You know, you're like you OK and
all. 

839
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:07,960
And it's like, I'd like that 
like a big fat cat. 

840
00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:12,000
William Palmer says, Hey, Mr 
Beggles, would you rather not 

841
00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,400
wipe your wee bum for a week or 
would you rather not brush your 

842
00:48:14,400 --> 00:48:15,680
teeth for a week? 
Cheers, bro. 

843
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:24,960
I think I could go awake without
brushing my teeth because in the

844
00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:26,400
morning it's not going to be 
good. 

845
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:28,920
I'm probably last thing at 
night, it's not going to be 

846
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,200
good. 
But during the day when you're 

847
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:35,840
eating meals, when you're 
drinking tea, your your breath 

848
00:48:35,880 --> 00:48:38,600
is probably going to smell like 
whatever you drank or at. 

849
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:42,680
So you know, if you have chewing
gum and stuff, Jeez, it's a 

850
00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:46,720
horrible thought, but I would 
probably do that because if you 

851
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:51,400
if you didn't wipe your bum for 
a week, it would be like that. 

852
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:54,360
Would that wouldn't be ideal at 
all. 

853
00:48:55,320 --> 00:48:57,680
So I'll go with not brushing my 
teeth for a week. 

854
00:48:57,680 --> 00:49:01,480
And also my teeth are very white
so I wouldn't I wouldn't worry 

855
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:02,920
about discoloration or anything 
like that. 

856
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:07,520
But it's a great question. 
As per do we have more questions

857
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:11,880
on Instagram? 
It's taking too long to load? 

858
00:49:13,440 --> 00:49:16,680
No, but we do on Twitter. 
Peter Lockhart, who would win in

859
00:49:16,680 --> 00:49:19,320
a Royal Rumble of Northern 
Ireland politicians? 

860
00:49:21,760 --> 00:49:27,040
Honestly, I think like in the 
Royal Rumbles that I used to 

861
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:28,760
watch in wrestling, it was a lot
of times. 

862
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:30,840
So when you wouldn't expect the 
winner or someone that was 

863
00:49:30,840 --> 00:49:33,680
making a return, like they've 
been injured for a year and they

864
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:35,800
would come back and they're 
like, I can't even believe this.

865
00:49:36,360 --> 00:49:40,280
So I think the Royal Rumble of 
politicians would follow its 

866
00:49:40,280 --> 00:49:42,680
usual course. 
I think Arlene Foster would do 

867
00:49:42,680 --> 00:49:44,120
well. 
Michelle O'Neill would do well. 

868
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:49,520
All the big known politicians. 
Ian PC Junior would like, he'd 

869
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:51,560
like hide under the ring and 
then he'd come out towards the 

870
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:53,800
end and try and like try and win
the wee sneaky way. 

871
00:49:54,520 --> 00:50:00,040
But I honestly think it would be
someone like David Trimble who 

872
00:50:00,040 --> 00:50:03,400
you wouldn't even think about 
anymore as a politician, but he 

873
00:50:03,400 --> 00:50:05,760
would just make his return at 
the last minute. 

874
00:50:05,760 --> 00:50:10,520
He'd be like the last entrant 
and he'd come out to music and 

875
00:50:10,520 --> 00:50:13,040
then I think he would go in 
because someone would think 

876
00:50:13,040 --> 00:50:15,840
they'd won and they'd be 
celebrating like Jerry Kelly or 

877
00:50:15,840 --> 00:50:18,240
Alex Maskey. 
And then David Trimble would 

878
00:50:18,240 --> 00:50:22,160
just come out from behind and 
and he would win. 

879
00:50:22,160 --> 00:50:25,440
So, yeah, someone who someone 
who's been there and done it. 

880
00:50:25,440 --> 00:50:28,480
Or then again, the the big oil, 
Jerry Adams who know, you know, 

881
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:30,040
with it, he looks like a big 
oil. 

882
00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:34,880
And I there is one particular 
poster they used to Jerry Adams 

883
00:50:34,880 --> 00:50:37,280
like a billboard. 
I mean, Dave Elliott just always

884
00:50:37,280 --> 00:50:40,080
called the big oil. 
So I would say the big oil would

885
00:50:40,080 --> 00:50:44,520
have a chance to I think he 
would win and then I think he'd 

886
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:46,880
deny and he'd deny what he was 
ever in the Royal rifle. 

887
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,000
The most played out you ever 
I've done in stand up. 

888
00:50:50,200 --> 00:50:54,000
But so yeah, I'd say I'd say one
of the old one of the old school

889
00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:57,520
people. 
Stephen McCall says we clearly 

890
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,600
have a lot of talented comedians
here in Northern Ireland. 

891
00:50:59,800 --> 00:51:02,080
Why aren't more invited? 
The TV panel shows? 

892
00:51:02,080 --> 00:51:03,480
Is there a lack of 
representation? 

893
00:51:05,000 --> 00:51:07,800
Yeah, I'd agree with you. 
I think the quality of stand up 

894
00:51:07,800 --> 00:51:11,840
comedians here on the stand up 
scene by and large is very good,

895
00:51:13,040 --> 00:51:17,800
really good actually, especially
in like the last four years. 

896
00:51:19,320 --> 00:51:22,080
So why aren't more invited the 
TV panel shows? 

897
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:24,920
I don't know. 
It's a very good question. 

898
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:29,320
Like they, they, there is a lot 
more of a focus now on 

899
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:35,280
representation in TV and film, 
but they, they would they 

900
00:51:35,400 --> 00:51:39,320
prioritise more, I guess gender 
to get, they prioritise more 

901
00:51:39,320 --> 00:51:42,240
ethnic backgrounds and stuff. 
So I don't know if there's a 

902
00:51:42,240 --> 00:51:47,600
push really for should you know,
should they get someone from 

903
00:51:47,880 --> 00:51:51,240
Northern Ireland on or whatever.
Personally, I don't think I 

904
00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:53,760
would like to be asked to do 
something if I thought I was 

905
00:51:53,760 --> 00:51:55,560
just being asked to do it 
because I'm from here. 

906
00:51:55,720 --> 00:51:56,960
But that doesn't mean I wouldn't
do it. 

907
00:51:56,960 --> 00:52:01,800
I would 100% do it, but it would
be nice to think I'm being asked

908
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:03,640
to do that because they think 
I'd be really good on it. 

909
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:07,880
So I don't think there, there's 
comedians here that I know of 

910
00:52:07,880 --> 00:52:12,920
anyway, like calling for it or 
trying to start, you know, a 

911
00:52:13,120 --> 00:52:15,920
conversation about that. 
I, I don't know. 

912
00:52:16,160 --> 00:52:21,280
It's good quite I I think on the
likes of say Mock the Week or 

913
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:25,240
Would I Lie to You or Qi. 
I think there are comedians from

914
00:52:25,240 --> 00:52:27,200
here that would do that would do
really well on it. 

915
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:30,600
But I don't know. 
We're we're kind of our own 

916
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:34,440
little scene here, which is good
and bad, even to the point where

917
00:52:35,240 --> 00:52:40,400
comedy clubs here will get 
Dublin comedians on the scene. 

918
00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:44,120
They're doing the headline And 
but it doesn't really, I don't 

919
00:52:44,120 --> 00:52:47,160
really think it works that much 
the other way a little bit, like

920
00:52:47,160 --> 00:52:52,280
a little bit. 
But you, you know, we have just 

921
00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:56,600
our own scene and I love it. 
But it would be good. 

922
00:52:56,600 --> 00:52:58,040
Of course, it'd be good to do 
more stuff. 

923
00:52:58,040 --> 00:53:02,240
Like I did a show this week 
stand up for live comedy, which 

924
00:53:02,240 --> 00:53:06,560
was BBC Three online. 
And then it was on BBC One on 

925
00:53:07,720 --> 00:53:11,920
Monday night there Monday night.
And, and that was brilliant 

926
00:53:11,920 --> 00:53:16,200
because it was, it was the first
like me and BBC thing that I've 

927
00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:17,320
done. 
You know, I've done a lot of 

928
00:53:17,320 --> 00:53:19,920
stuff for BBC Northern Ireland, 
which obviously get gets shown 

929
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:23,480
here, but that was the first big
thing I've done and the best 

930
00:53:23,480 --> 00:53:26,440
thing of all time was Nick 
Knowles, DIY TV presenter guy 

931
00:53:26,440 --> 00:53:28,760
was like, hey man, you stole the
show, enjoyed it. 

932
00:53:29,000 --> 00:53:31,760
Keep up the good work. 
I was like, fuck, I like that's 

933
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:35,680
so funny to me that Nick Knowles
was like well done player. 

934
00:53:36,200 --> 00:53:38,160
I real now. 
I followed him on Twitter and I 

935
00:53:38,160 --> 00:53:40,040
was like, I'll send like a 
message here when he follows me 

936
00:53:40,040 --> 00:53:41,400
and I'll say like, Nick, thanks 
for me. 

937
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:44,120
I appreciate it. 
And Nick just he didn't want he 

938
00:53:44,120 --> 00:53:46,880
didn't follow me or anything. 
He's just like, I'm going out of

939
00:53:46,880 --> 00:53:49,680
my way to let you know I enjoyed
it but don't and don't contact 

940
00:53:49,680 --> 00:53:51,920
me again. 
And there's something I really 

941
00:53:51,920 --> 00:53:55,000
liked about that. 
But that was that was on like 

942
00:53:55,000 --> 00:54:05,960
the the main BBC and yeah, you 
know, there was, there was 4 

943
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:09,760
comedians on to from here to to 
not from here. 

944
00:54:11,080 --> 00:54:15,000
I originally thought the idea 
was because the the film in 

945
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:17,960
Bristol, London, Glasgow and 
Belfast. 

946
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:21,240
I think I might have got wrong, 
but I thought it would just be 

947
00:54:21,240 --> 00:54:22,680
people from the comedy scene 
there. 

948
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,680
But I think they moved people 
around and had different people 

949
00:54:26,680 --> 00:54:30,640
in different places. 
But it was really nice to be 

950
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:34,240
asked to, to do that. 
And yeah, I'd love to do more 

951
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:37,000
stuff and I think we should. 
But. 

952
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:38,120
But then there's also a thing 
here. 

953
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:40,160
We don't push yourself a lot, 
myself included. 

954
00:54:40,400 --> 00:54:46,520
We're very like, I know I joke 
at times about, you know, being 

955
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:50,800
a being cocky and stuff, but we 
are a humble comedy scene as 

956
00:54:50,800 --> 00:54:53,800
well for the most part. 
So people don't want to be like,

957
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:56,560
I should be doing this, you 
know, because I, they're 

958
00:54:56,680 --> 00:55:00,280
especially in like London or big
cities, there are very driven, 

959
00:55:00,280 --> 00:55:03,520
ambitious comedians who are 
like, I'm just going to ask to 

960
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:05,200
do everything. 
We're a little bit like 

961
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:10,000
embarrassed about that usually, 
myself included, James Wilkinson

962
00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:11,400
says. 
Who's your favourite footballer 

963
00:55:11,400 --> 00:55:13,480
that you filmed with? 
Loved the old videos with the 

964
00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:15,800
Northern Ireland players, like 
Patty with his coach and Connor 

965
00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:17,440
with the toy trains. 
Thanks very much. 

966
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:21,760
They were always great crack to 
film fair football film with. 

967
00:55:22,000 --> 00:55:24,880
The most enjoyable one was 
probably Patty with his coach. 

968
00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:30,640
Patty McNair up in Ballyclare, 
obviously from the famous song. 

969
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:33,400
Patty McNair from Ballyclare, 
Patty McNair from Ballyclare 

970
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,000
going up. 
And then that was class because 

971
00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:38,080
we just had like a whole 
afternoon there messing about. 

972
00:55:38,840 --> 00:55:42,000
The best thing of the videos, 
honestly, I'm not, I swear to 

973
00:55:42,000 --> 00:55:44,760
God, I'm not just saying this. 
When you do videos with the 

974
00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:48,840
Northern Ireland players, 
they're all a joy to do because 

975
00:55:48,840 --> 00:55:51,640
you find that they're like, if 
you haven't filmed with them 

976
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,880
before, they're a bit nervous 
and they're like, you know, the 

977
00:55:53,880 --> 00:55:56,440
IFA or like he says he's up for 
doing this, but maybe he 

978
00:55:56,440 --> 00:55:58,840
wouldn't be up for doing that. 
And you know, what do you want 

979
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:00,360
to ask him? 
And then as soon as you start 

980
00:56:00,360 --> 00:56:03,000
filming and you make it clear 
that like, I'm not going to make

981
00:56:03,000 --> 00:56:05,240
it that good, you like, we'll 
just have a laugh. 

982
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:07,840
Then they're all like, let's let
you know. 

983
00:56:07,840 --> 00:56:10,240
They're then suggesting stuff 
and they're like, we could get a

984
00:56:10,240 --> 00:56:11,920
shot of this and on. 
Why don't we talk? 

985
00:56:12,720 --> 00:56:14,920
It's always a pleasure to do 
them because I love football. 

986
00:56:14,920 --> 00:56:16,800
It's brilliant. 
But Paddy McNair 1 was great. 

987
00:56:16,800 --> 00:56:21,040
Liam Boyce, Loch Ness Monster, 
cult classic, really enjoyable. 

988
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:26,160
Luther Valentine Thoughts on 
scented bum roll? 

989
00:56:26,200 --> 00:56:28,800
A scam to get more coin out of 
us or a true luxury? 

990
00:56:28,880 --> 00:56:34,880
Both, unequivocally both. 
But what sort of scent do you 

991
00:56:34,880 --> 00:56:36,800
want? 
You know what I mean? 

992
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,760
Like a vanilla or Raspberry? 
I don't know, I didn't know it 

993
00:56:40,760 --> 00:56:43,520
was a thing, but. 
But of course it is because 

994
00:56:43,520 --> 00:56:48,800
everything is the thing. 
LMJ says Eddie Hearn rings you, 

995
00:56:49,120 --> 00:56:52,360
says you're going to main event 
in the Odyssey sold out arena to

996
00:56:52,360 --> 00:56:54,400
fight Arlene or Michelle. 
Who are you picking? 

997
00:56:55,200 --> 00:56:58,600
Eh, neither, neither. 
No way. 

998
00:57:00,040 --> 00:57:03,640
I don't think it would be 
enjoyable either way because it 

999
00:57:03,640 --> 00:57:07,720
it's, it would never be 
enjoyable to be violent towards 

1000
00:57:07,720 --> 00:57:12,320
a woman and it wouldn't be 
enjoyable if Arlene and Michelle

1001
00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:15,640
kicked the shit out of me. 
So no one, no one wins. 

1002
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:19,600
Well, they, they, they would 
probably win, but no, I wouldn't

1003
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:22,000
enjoy that. 
I'd prefer to just do stand up. 

1004
00:57:23,640 --> 00:57:26,400
P says What time is it at the 
current time? 

1005
00:57:26,400 --> 00:57:29,720
Recordings 4:15 Gary Crawford, 
Do you think Harambe was 

1006
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:33,720
justifiably killed? 
There was a baby in the pen and 

1007
00:57:33,720 --> 00:57:37,400
then in the zoo thing. 
And they were like, I don't 

1008
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:38,640
think he's going to hurt her, 
but she'll be. 

1009
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:44,240
I mean, yeah, if it was my baby,
yeah, I'd be thanking them for 

1010
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:45,880
doing it. 
But at the same time, 

1011
00:57:46,040 --> 00:57:49,360
heartbreaking because Harambe 
was just seemed like a real, 

1012
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:54,040
real nice guy. 
So justifiable, yes. 

1013
00:57:54,400 --> 00:57:58,480
Tragic, yes. 
Jamie Mckevitt. 

1014
00:57:59,440 --> 00:58:00,360
Do you think you could do a 
better? 

1015
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:02,520
Job at centre back from Man 
United than Harry McGuire could 

1016
00:58:02,520 --> 00:58:05,080
do. 
Sometimes I think it could, but 

1017
00:58:05,080 --> 00:58:07,920
then other times I realise that 
I can't really play football and

1018
00:58:07,920 --> 00:58:13,480
they bought him for £80 million.
So probably I couldn't do a 

1019
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:16,000
better job. 
But I would like, I think it 

1020
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,000
would be banter. 
Like if Man United name me in 

1021
00:58:18,000 --> 00:58:21,520
the starting team for a Premier 
League game, I think I would 

1022
00:58:21,520 --> 00:58:23,880
have a lot of fun. 
Not day like if they rang me up 

1023
00:58:23,880 --> 00:58:27,160
and they're like fancy it, I'd 
go yeah, so it would be 

1024
00:58:27,160 --> 00:58:31,200
something fun. 
Just Jade says if tea was wiped 

1025
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:33,480
off the planet, what would be 
your next beverage of choice and

1026
00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:34,960
would you rename the podcast 
with it? 

1027
00:58:36,240 --> 00:58:41,680
Coffee with me probably exists. 
I would I would probably just go

1028
00:58:41,680 --> 00:58:43,920
for coffee next. 
But that. 

1029
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:46,200
But if tea was wiped out the 
planet, I think I'd be like the 

1030
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:48,320
cutting them on the Titanic and 
I go down with it. 

1031
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:52,560
I think I would just go down. 
In a delicious. 

1032
00:58:52,840 --> 00:58:57,880
Sea of tea, and it'd be a nice 
way to go, Hazel says. 

1033
00:58:57,880 --> 00:58:58,920
Will you be? 
Allowed to go out trick or 

1034
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:02,040
treating this year. 
And I don't think so. 

1035
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:04,920
All that sly kids probably 
aren't going to be able to trick

1036
00:59:04,920 --> 00:59:08,240
or treat. 
See one year whenever I went 

1037
00:59:08,240 --> 00:59:10,760
trick or. 
Treating I remember making. £25 

1038
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:13,880
and I was about four and it was 
the best time ever. 

1039
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:17,320
Although there was times too 
when you were young and you had 

1040
00:59:17,320 --> 00:59:21,760
like a big mind to shrapnel like
10P2P20P S and you had a food 

1041
00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:24,520
thing of it and you thought it 
was about 6 grand and then your 

1042
00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:26,800
dad counted up for you is like 
you made four points. 

1043
00:59:27,720 --> 00:59:29,720
They were great times. 
But no, I still will go out. 

1044
00:59:29,720 --> 00:59:32,720
But I'll just be using a card 
reader this time and I don't use

1045
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:36,120
a mask or anything. 
I go out and I say justice for 

1046
00:59:36,120 --> 00:59:37,760
Harambe. 
Can you donate? 

1047
00:59:38,320 --> 00:59:41,040
And then people boot hit the pin
and it's just straight into my 

1048
00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:44,560
account. 
Mark Graham says when you. 

1049
00:59:44,560 --> 00:59:47,480
Join in the waffle. 
Irish League Football podcast 

1050
00:59:47,920 --> 00:59:50,400
and unfortunately I'm not, I 
might do an episode with them, 

1051
00:59:50,640 --> 00:59:53,120
but we have talked on this 
podcast before or we've been 

1052
00:59:53,120 --> 00:59:56,720
asked to do an Irish League spin
off because we always get asked 

1053
00:59:56,720 --> 00:59:59,960
with the Irish League. 
So we might do a small run of 

1054
00:59:59,960 --> 01:00:04,080
episodes about the Irish League.
But hopefully we can be a friend

1055
01:00:04,080 --> 01:00:08,800
of the Waffle podcast and not an
enemy Andrew, if we were 

1056
01:00:08,800 --> 01:00:10,000
enemies. 
We would have to settle up a 

1057
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:12,120
game of. 
Five set at midnight some night 

1058
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:14,920
in Tesco car park Andrew 
Mcquillan What's the meaning of 

1059
01:00:14,920 --> 01:00:16,600
life and are we alone in the 
universe? 

1060
01:00:18,840 --> 01:00:25,200
The meaning of life is to live, 
laugh, love, live, laugh, love 

1061
01:00:26,160 --> 01:00:34,400
and are we alone in the universe
we are not because the Lord 

1062
01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:39,280
Jesus Christ is also with us, 
Daniel toll says. 

1063
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:45,480
Daniel Toll says Daniel tolls 
cheeky, he says. 

1064
01:00:45,960 --> 01:00:48,080
Was Paddy Ralph upset? 
You were on the stand up for 

1065
01:00:48,080 --> 01:00:50,640
live comedy gig after you copied
this Nigel character. 

1066
01:00:53,200 --> 01:00:56,200
Yeah, probably. 
Probably. 

1067
01:00:57,160 --> 01:01:01,280
And I want to publicly 
apologise, so I don't know. 

1068
01:01:01,280 --> 01:01:02,840
Yeah, I. 
Would I would say so. 

1069
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:11,160
I would say so, but then, but 
look, look, I've apologised. 

1070
01:01:12,000 --> 01:01:15,680
The Mike Mcgulder character, he 
might not be coming back. 

1071
01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:18,600
He might not be coming back. 
But yes. 

1072
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:21,920
Was he annoyed? 
I don't think so. 

1073
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:25,200
I don't think so. 
But to be honest, at that gig I 

1074
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:30,120
wouldn't have even noticed if he
was because I was a cheeky I was

1075
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:35,520
a boy at a birthday party who is
allowed to drink a can of Coke 

1076
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:39,480
at the birthday party and then 
says he hasn't had one yet. 

1077
01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:41,240
So he gets a second one and then
a third. 

1078
01:01:41,960 --> 01:01:44,200
So I was like a wee boy at a 
birthday party waiting to go on.

1079
01:01:44,400 --> 01:01:48,560
I was giddy. 
I was probably laughing at my 

1080
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:52,240
jokes more or if not as much as 
the audience. 

1081
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:54,080
And some people hit that right. 
Why you laughing at your own 

1082
01:01:54,080 --> 01:01:55,800
jokes? 
And I'm like, hey, baby, because

1083
01:01:55,800 --> 01:01:58,440
good stuff. 
So I was having a good time. 

1084
01:01:58,440 --> 01:02:03,600
So I don't, I don't know if he 
was annoyed about that, but but 

1085
01:02:03,600 --> 01:02:06,000
it's certainly something, 
something you could ask him. 

1086
01:02:06,440 --> 01:02:10,240
I'm not too sure. 
But yeah, I, I stole the 

1087
01:02:10,240 --> 01:02:15,280
character, but I basically there
was a legal action that I lost. 

1088
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:19,320
And so I know I have to pay 
maintenance for that. 

1089
01:02:19,720 --> 01:02:22,400
I pay acre on the month 
basically to lease the Mike 

1090
01:02:22,400 --> 01:02:25,800
McGoldrick character, which is 
fun because I, I, yeah, I rent 

1091
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:29,520
them and then after four years, 
I, I have to decide whether I 

1092
01:02:29,520 --> 01:02:32,800
want to buy McGoldrick outright 
or trade them for a different 

1093
01:02:32,800 --> 01:02:33,880
character. 
I'm not too sure. 

1094
01:02:35,280 --> 01:02:37,720
But you're very cheeky, boy. 
And you know that Johnny 

1095
01:02:37,720 --> 01:02:40,600
Dempster says if you could be a 
flying a wall, what wall would 

1096
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:42,080
you choose? 
Fantastic question. 

1097
01:02:42,440 --> 01:02:48,960
And I would choose the. 
What people are like? 

1098
01:02:49,080 --> 01:02:56,400
What about the Oval Office? 
I'd like to see how to make, I'd

1099
01:02:56,400 --> 01:03:01,440
like to be in a room where 
people make TV's or like talk 

1100
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:04,240
about TV's because I, I just 
realised the other day, I don't 

1101
01:03:04,240 --> 01:03:06,120
know how TV's work. 
Like how does, how does a 

1102
01:03:06,120 --> 01:03:08,200
picture be on on your TV in the 
house? 

1103
01:03:08,920 --> 01:03:12,080
Like what's the technology to 
get ATV on, if you know what I 

1104
01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:15,200
mean? 
Like Radio 2. 

1105
01:03:15,200 --> 01:03:16,800
Like. 
I know it's waves or something 

1106
01:03:16,800 --> 01:03:19,280
but. 
How does it be on the? 

1107
01:03:22,200 --> 01:03:24,880
Needle grabs the sound from the 
grooves. 

1108
01:03:25,520 --> 01:03:29,280
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 
We watched a documentary on 

1109
01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:32,320
that, didn't we? 
It was a standard Roy Scoville 

1110
01:03:32,320 --> 01:03:33,960
standard. 
Special about how. 

1111
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:39,200
How microphones work needles and
grooves or an OK and says what's

1112
01:03:39,200 --> 01:03:42,360
a verdict on the unreleased from
Goldrick material? 

1113
01:03:42,360 --> 01:03:45,320
Does it exist or can it be like 
into the detox album never 

1114
01:03:45,320 --> 01:03:49,280
released by doctor Dre and D12 
that in reality in reality 

1115
01:03:49,280 --> 01:03:51,640
literally doesn't exist. 
Was there unreleased from 

1116
01:03:51,640 --> 01:03:57,440
Goldrick material? 
Oh well, you can say Mike. 

1117
01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:58,960
Says hi. 
Umm. 

1118
01:03:59,280 --> 01:04:02,040
Was there unreleased from Gold I
I that totally escapes me at the

1119
01:04:02,040 --> 01:04:04,840
minute. 
It could be Nigel probably did 

1120
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:06,880
something that was really 
terrible. 

1121
01:04:06,880 --> 01:04:08,480
Yeah. 
Oh, yeah. 

1122
01:04:08,480 --> 01:04:10,600
Has there been a sketch, a film 
that's been worked which is 

1123
01:04:10,600 --> 01:04:14,400
never released? 
I mean, Honest McGoldrick did a 

1124
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:17,840
podcast episode. 
Podcast episode the day lockdown

1125
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:18,360
happened. 
Really. 

1126
01:04:18,360 --> 01:04:22,280
We did it, redid it and then 
decided never to. 

1127
01:04:22,280 --> 01:04:24,880
Yeah. 
Because we were so scared about 

1128
01:04:24,880 --> 01:04:28,960
what was going to happen or I 
don't actually know. 

1129
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:33,240
I don't know. 
It could have. 

1130
01:04:33,240 --> 01:04:37,280
It could have been somebody. 
Else Patrick Quinn, final 

1131
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:40,280
question, what's been your most 
beautiful moment as a father so 

1132
01:04:40,280 --> 01:04:41,360
far? 
Well done. 

1133
01:04:41,360 --> 01:04:44,560
The recent stand ups smashed it.
As always Patrick, thank you as 

1134
01:04:44,560 --> 01:04:49,280
always, BJIC, Bijic, Belfast guy
and China. 

1135
01:04:49,600 --> 01:04:52,720
What's been the most beautiful 
moment as a father so far? 

1136
01:04:58,720 --> 01:05:07,440
This sounds very. 
Cheesy, but every moment's good.

1137
01:05:08,680 --> 01:05:13,400
Every moment's good, even if 
it's like a trivial normal 

1138
01:05:13,400 --> 01:05:14,920
thing. 
It's brilliant. 

1139
01:05:15,400 --> 01:05:20,880
And actually the other day last 
week, I am. 

1140
01:05:20,880 --> 01:05:25,920
I am wary about how much I talk 
about it because I do see it as 

1141
01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:31,440
a very, very personal thing. 
But earlier in the week. 

1142
01:05:32,080 --> 01:05:35,440
I put on a song. 
Sometimes I will put on songs 

1143
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:38,760
that I know make me feel 
emotional, but I almost like 

1144
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:42,400
want to feel that. 
And I was just like messing 

1145
01:05:42,400 --> 01:05:46,720
about with them in the house. 
And there is a particular song 

1146
01:05:47,680 --> 01:05:50,680
that is kind of like about 
fatherhood that is that is 

1147
01:05:50,680 --> 01:05:53,080
really beautiful. 
And I put it on. 

1148
01:05:53,080 --> 01:05:56,440
I was like, ah, this nice song 
and this a nice moment and then 

1149
01:05:56,440 --> 01:06:00,680
I just burst into tears. 
But it was like, I was like 

1150
01:06:00,680 --> 01:06:03,600
happy, you know what I mean? 
Like I was like overcome with 

1151
01:06:03,600 --> 01:06:06,320
joyous emotion. 
And I like it was beyond 

1152
01:06:06,320 --> 01:06:07,920
smiling. 
So that's why I cried. 

1153
01:06:08,320 --> 01:06:12,680
And then the worst thing is the 
baby saw that I was crying and 

1154
01:06:12,680 --> 01:06:14,880
can't really obviously tell the 
difference between happy tears 

1155
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:17,000
and solid tears. 
And then he started crying. 

1156
01:06:17,400 --> 01:06:19,720
And at the start I was like, 
he's crying happy tears too. 

1157
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:21,920
And I was like, no, he's crying 
sad tears because he thinks 

1158
01:06:22,240 --> 01:06:23,800
someone's upset me and I'm 
crying. 

1159
01:06:24,000 --> 01:06:26,000
So at the end of the day, we 
were both crying. 

1160
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:30,880
But even that was a nice moment.
And and yeah, there's just 

1161
01:06:30,880 --> 01:06:32,400
sometimes where I'm just like 
totally in all. 

1162
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:34,960
And by the way, I'm being 
serious, I did just, I did just 

1163
01:06:34,960 --> 01:06:39,040
burst into tears because there's
moments you just don't know how 

1164
01:06:39,040 --> 01:06:42,320
to describe. 
And it's it's beyond, it's 

1165
01:06:42,320 --> 01:06:44,240
beyond anything you've 
experienced before. 

1166
01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:49,800
So, yeah, just there are just 
silly, trivial moments like 

1167
01:06:49,800 --> 01:06:53,080
going out for a walk in the prom
and just looking at each other 

1168
01:06:53,080 --> 01:06:55,840
and like smiling, like that kind
of stuff is just the best. 

1169
01:06:55,840 --> 01:07:00,840
SO it's all, it's all great. 
It's all great. 

1170
01:07:01,680 --> 01:07:07,040
And I want to. 
Yeah. 

1171
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:12,000
I just want to finish by by 
saying that I hope this podcast 

1172
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:15,000
has been afternoonified by 
everybody. 

1173
01:07:15,240 --> 01:07:20,040
I think we should call this 
episode We're called Butter Up 

1174
01:07:20,040 --> 01:07:23,320
Bacon. 
It feels like it should be 

1175
01:07:23,320 --> 01:07:24,480
called. 
Butter up bacon. 

1176
01:07:26,200 --> 01:07:28,160
Butter upon bacon. 
I do apologise. 

1177
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:30,200
That was an afternoon fight. 
Afternoon fight enough for you. 

1178
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:32,760
And but yeah, there's been a lot
of fun. 

1179
01:07:32,840 --> 01:07:35,520
There's been a lot of fun. 
I appreciate you listening. 

1180
01:07:35,800 --> 01:07:37,160
Watching. 
If you listen to the audio 

1181
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:38,720
version, you want to see the 
video version? 

1182
01:07:39,040 --> 01:07:41,920
It's on YouTube. 
It's put up there by 

1183
01:07:41,920 --> 01:07:45,160
michaelfoster.tv. 
And weirdly, that is his name. 

1184
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:48,360
His first name, his first name, 
all one word is Michael Foster. 

1185
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:52,280
And his second name is Dot. 
TV Middle name Dot. 

1186
01:07:52,280 --> 01:07:53,400
Middle. 
Middle name Dot. 

1187
01:07:53,520 --> 01:07:58,080
Like Dot Cotton. 
Oh, Jim, And that's just what it

1188
01:07:58,080 --> 01:07:59,840
is. 
So thanks so much for listening 

1189
01:07:59,960 --> 01:08:02,960
patreon.com/tea with me podcast.
You want to support the podcast?

1190
01:08:03,320 --> 01:08:06,280
Get the bonus episode on a 
Monday, check out the live 

1191
01:08:06,280 --> 01:08:09,520
episode zippers. 
Thank you very much. 

1192
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:13,840
Goodbye God. 
Bless and. 

1193
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:22,439
Wait and wait and see us next 
week, Chuckaboos.