Super welcome to this episode of the Tea With Me podcast.
With me, she and Todd. Before we get into this episode,
am I talking fast? A little bit.
I'll talk fast. Let me just say before we get
into this episode over at patreon.com, we're doing big
things this way. Some coming out this week
because hard to know because we record this at different times.
I don't know what's up. Next week, next Friday.
Next week, live podcast from Waterfront.
Yes, with Willie and Mickey. With Willie T and Mickey
Bartlett, that'll go live on Patreon exclusively, the live
stream every Friday and then next week.
All next week. All next week we're doing daily
episode to the podcast, the Daily Brews series from What
Time every day. We're aiming from 11:00 to 1:00,
but there's. But there's one day where I'm in
chronic guilty. Which could not be further away.
No, these places, in my head I said the promoters make it all,
all these venues 2 hours away. This one, it is a pretty much
furthest point in Ireland you can go, I think.
It's like 6 hours away, yeah. So is that and I'm doing that
the day before. Do you have one the day after
that? You're doing that in the
Thursday night, so you're gonna have to drive down and come back
up. Better be a good gig.
It's not actually even selling well.
Umm, but sold slightly well enough that I can't cancel.
I feel too bad. I can't cancel.
People of Clonic guilty have
been thrown off. I don't know anything about the
place. Umm, but yeah, the daily brews,
my tour of Ireland, Shinto comedy.com.
The America Canada dates are up there too.
We're sponsored by none other than Manscaped.
All right then, correct. Manscaped.
Yeah, the number one in men's below the belt grooming.
You know them, you love them. Well, he used, eh?
You know about Manscape too? I'm familiar with him, yeah.
You love it. You're looking.
Scorned axe lover but yeah no
manscaped. Did they drop?
They're gone. But hey, be grief.
Be happy for the. Don't be sad.
It's over. Yeah, be happy.
They paid you for quite a while. Oh yeah, yeah, for like 3 years.
Yeah. I was their sugar baby.
Yeah, it's pretty good. Umm, look, they've got
everything. These guys, they've got that,
they've got razors, they've got teasers, not teaser.
They've got all the products. You what's that one with the big
head on, the big fathead, the hedger, the hedger, the hedger
and it's brilliant. You can use that for what?
Your head, your face. Beard mainly, but.
Yeah, and this new year, people are trying new looks, you know,
people are trying new looks. I'm thinking, although I've done
it before by going to a more like messy style, but then I do
it once and and everyone just, I get too much abuse for it.
Everyone's like just the world's not right unless I have my quick
right. But I might want to try new
things. modscape.com, look through all their products.
You just go Tea with me for 20% off free shipping links in the
description. Yeah.
Admins done, folks. Welcome to this episode of the
Tea With Me podcast with my returning friend William
Thompson. I'm a new friend who seconds for
you go to this podcast said Why am I here?
I'm still confused. Well, what I don't, I don't get
the confusion because you do stand up.
We've known each other for quite a while.
OK, don't know each other that well, but that's why we're here.
Just. Because you don't communicate
with me on any other basis than is this where I'm gigging?
Yeah. All right.
Thanks. Yeah.
Which by the way, most. There's your, there's your
money. Thanks.
Most people would consider a lot more people be happy with that.
OK. Yeah.
All right. It's transactional.
Do you see us do more social things together?
No, no, I don't. I don't.
I don't know, maybe. I mean, what do you want?
What? Are you into?
I can be adaptable. I can be adaptable.
I can be in the different things, OK, I can try new
things. You're talking about trying to
think that's a paddle. On committed bullshit I've ever
heard you want to play paddle? What paddle is that?
Is that is that? Short sided tennis, really.
Oh no. Paddle and pickleball?
No. Pickleball I've heard of.
Who played pickleball? OK.
I'd say you before you impeccable.
I like. I do like.
I'll see what's stopping the three of us playing pickleball.
A lot of things. I would say I can't commit.
The opinions of others mainly. I can't cannot.
Wanting to do that is a big for me.
That sounds awful. I'm not an athlete.
Like just yeah, no, I've never. You run a marathon before.
I did. Yeah, I did.
Did you? Yeah.
What was your time? Why are you being a cunt?
Am I like to sell it? You're allowed.
I mean, you can say, well, you're.
Allowed to lower your guard for this.
OK, OK. You're not on their trial.
Right. Yeah, If that's how you played
pickleball, it's gonna be easy. Why am I here?
What? Your time in the marathon?
The fuck? You're what the fuck did you
thought? Boy, just pickle.
Pickleball in the throat. Just ask him.
I was like, what was the time? I've never ran one.
Right before you give your time, you're allowed to use that word,
but I've never met anyone who used that word more.
And actually, that's kind of how we met.
I can't feel that. Oh.
Yeah, so someone came up, tell me if I'm wrong.
Yeah, someone came up to me at a gig or I was out somewhere and
said record a video message from my friend.
They went call her a cunt. She loves it.
Actually, I think the term that you did use was massive ginger
cunt. I wouldn't have called you
Ginger. Mate, do you want the video?
Because it's it's, it's on you. Got the receipt.
I've got the receipts, yeah. You think they just said the
first bit of it and I just, I just went, no, I think, look, I
didn't know you, so I didn't know anything about you.
I didn't know you're ginger. Yeah, you didn't, and you were
happy. You knew or you knew I was
massive on account. No, but yeah.
But they said you love that now. Anyway, I did the marathon in
six hours. Oh, very good.
Yeah. We also need to point out, well,
he's scared of, well, he's pretend that he's not scared of
dogs. Yeah, no, I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm A Celebrity.
Get Me Out of here. This is.
What's your dog? What's your dog?
We really want.
Your dog, what's his business? Yeah.
He's he's a he's a bichon for he's mixed with a cockapoo.
He's a cockapoo. Oh.
Well, I here's the thing. So, well, I.
See when you're more used to pussy on his lap, right?
See when. I'm not I.
Don't know, I'm not. I put it this way, I'm not.
Afraid of Cocker too. The thing is when you're afraid
of dogs. You said you weren't.
Afraid of dogs. In fact, when you are kind of
touchy around dogs, they love you because you're not giving
them attention. You're vulnerable.
So they'll come that not vulnerable.
They're not weird like that. They're not spiking you.
They'll just come over to you more because you're ignoring
them. Yeah.
So then they give you more attention.
Because I went for the dog when I came in, but the dog one that
interested and I like Willie. I used to be scared of dogs and
I'm not. What changed your opinion my?
Mom got a dog, right? Shih Tzu.
That's the lower is fantastic. What a fancy he fancied me.
Like did he? The lipstick just come out all
the time around the one bar me. Class.
Yeah, always we dog thing, right?
I forget that's called a lipstick.
So I was. I was.
Lipstick enough to see within this Jack Russell's just in the
corner. No, I would have been like, like
you. I would have been very.
I would have clenched up around dogs big time.
That's all right, he's fine. No, no, no, he's a guy.
Look, I'm the one with the problem.
I know that and I'll be fine with them.
That's OK. What's his name?
Ollie, short for Oliver. Fuck off, that's the same name
as my dog, is it? And he's a big.
Yeah, so you have. You're scared of this?
Wrong with you don't want them. Oh well, is.
This a masochistic thing like. No, I just don't like them but.
Your dogs give me a dog now. I don't.
I didn't want them, but my sister did, right?
So my sister. That's like being being scared
of heights, but you're like, I eat out lunch every day on top
of the skyscraper. But those guys were.
Going for lunch for the skyscraper.
I'm like, I'd love to be on the ground floor but I clearly don't
get a choice here. I don't know if that picture is
real. You know, the guys on top of the
skyscraper, New York eating lunch.
Oh, that is not real. In Israel, yeah.
I'm glad you were both there, yeah.
Something that's in every B&M bargains in the world.
Yeah, actually. Yeah.
Any new business has that. Yeah.
In their hall, yeah. True Grit?
Yeah, that's what that is. Shane, can you give Leon her
coffee and then? I did.
Yeah, yeah, I was on the way to introduce her and then she's
like, why am I here? Slobber.
Willy. You're here because I thought
it'd be nice to get to know each other more.
I think you'd be a good guest on the pod.
Umm, the gig and Warren Point Town Hall they'd love.
Then we did Loveries together. We did loveries together.
You were there, I was there. It wasn't a together thing.
I'm very. Why are you so guarded?
I have an avoidant attachment stage.
Why are you so good? That's a podcast.
It's a change of trauma. If we hugged you for too long,
would you start to cry? If you came anywhere near me, I
would absolutely Roundhouse both.
Yes, it'd be the lowest Roundhouse ever.
Around bungalow as grey as my knee, yeah.
Yeah, no spear. We've known each other for a
while now. We're we're from France.
But yeah, then I was, I was walking towards one point, town
hall, do a gig with you and you're standing outside with
like the security staff and stuff.
Yeah. And then, and then you, you
called me the Sea World. Yeah, I am sorry.
It really, it really offends me, does it?
No. OK.
It does. It does offend.
There's some people do are mega offended by that word like they
hate it. Yeah.
Is there any words that would like properly offend you?
Went to liquor. I don't like that.
I hate. It.
I hate that one. Do you remember Marush the kebab
place in Bradbury Place? Yes.
Do you remember it? No, it was just, it was say KFC
and it wasn't. It was an after.
Well, he's so scared of the dog and Leanne.
Yeah. Yeah, I've heard of it.
Yeah. It was an after Kremlin.
I'll go there now if you want. No, it's not there anymore.
Oh shit. And some.
People also he's an after Kremlin spot.
It was an after Kremlin kebaberi.
Kebab after kebab. Absolutely, if you if you
believe that I I ate kebab twice in the one night, you're right,
but it wasn't. His dog and here's doing
something to me. So the point is.
I wouldn't normally. Say like a weird sentence to
say. What?
That dog in here is doing something to me.
The fuck? Yeah, well, it wouldn't.
Be the first time. Sorry, Marush.
Point is, some large waggon of a lady decided to call the nice
man behind the counter who were making her kebab, Wendy Liquors.
And I got all like, because I'm actually not very
confrontational as a person. Believe it or believe it not.
Yeah, no, believe it not. And I was I was like, excuse me
by by recalling those men, Wendy Liquors.
And then she just fucking turned around.
She was like, what? And I was like, just hate it.
Just hate it. It's so something visceral to
me. I don't know why it.
Is. I hate that phrase too.
Terrible liquor. I hate.
No I don't. I hate the phrase window
liquors. It really pissed me off.
Yeah, I don't think there's any term really.
It's very demeaning. It is.
There's no terms that bother you at all.
Do you mean something I'd hear someone say to some?
Oh yeah, there's something there.
No. Like if you get cut like, is
there any word that you are particularly sensitive?
No. No, but if I hear someone say
there's 2 words that don't like, should have said them.
Yeah, I don't like spastic. Yeah, and I don't like retard.
Yeah, I don't like actually. That word.
I don't like it either. I think it's too like we're too
OK with it. It's like see gig and someday
when you do clubs gigging in America, it's like that design
of form. Every comedian that they'll say
it as part of their act at some point.
Yeah, what's what was that about I.
Don't know. I think that word was like
outlawed for a long time and then I think now that people can
almost say it again or it's more acceptable, people go mild with
it. I also don't care what people
say but but it's one just person.
Yeah, Spastic. I don't mind.
I use it a lot. I used to use it a lot.
I use it a lot less. Not in the title of one of your
for shows. Mr Broom Spastic is the best
name for unbelievable. It was, but then the major start
out and you just went OK, yeah, they maybe should have fought
against that one. I know because that's just.
Yeah. Yeah.
If they told me this, if I was calling to show that and they
told me to start out, I get it. Yeah.
Like, I'm allowed. Yeah, I'm allowed, but yeah.
Should have advocated for yourself more.
I should have, should have stayed up for myself.
Umm, when your friend told me to record a video message for you,
you were running your cafe in Yuri and then we ended up
getting, we started doing gigs there.
Yes, but why did that? Because a lot of people know you
from that. Was it Snapchat then?
Was that the big up? Yeah, was, yeah, the Snapchat
is, yeah. Oh.
Cringe. I never, I was never a Snapchat
guy really. No, no.
I see. I wasn't either as such, but it
was a thing and I started doing stories and nobody else in Nuri
because Nuri is the centre of the universe.
Actually do like that jumper. Thank you.
I. No worries, Paul chuckle.
Don't mention that man. It's Paul the Dead 1.
Why is the dead? Why is it looking more Teresa
What? Yeah, yeah.
Teresa, do you know what? The second you said it, I was
like the small. You mean the small one?
You're telling me the small Chuckle brother looks a bit like
Mother Teresa. I agree, lads.
Where do you get that tennis ball?
So Michael's off. Can we play pickleball now?
Oh, hey. ATV set com there isn't it?
Oh, you want someone to throw it?
He does I you throw it. No spastic.
No fucking kebab kebab marching window.
Left. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but did
you ask me Look it up more Teresa.
Second cousins. Yeah, Have you ever, have you
ever been given a celebrity look alike that you didn't like?
Alexander Litvinenko was a big one for me.
Oh. And Granny and Spy.
You got poisoned. There was when he's lying in the
bed. Yeah, yeah.
There was, yeah. Well, he Lord Forkwood.
Is that what I I get? That no, I don't know.
I'm just saying. I get out.
Who's that Louise Guzman, we guy with the pug nose, he said.
He's in everything. He's in everything.
Who is he? Louise goes, but you'd know him
if you've seen him. He's a Mexican actor who if you
need a wee funny fat Mexican. You definitely have seen if.
Louise is on the phone. That's your.
Yeah, yeah, I could see it. I don't know.
I don't got sort of fat Ron Weasley.
I suppose the ginger thing is quite obvious.
Me, like I said. No, I'm just trying to.
I'm not. I'm looking for suggestions.
I'm looking for it's. A dangerous game.
I don't want to suggest them. I do.
I get. Nike from recess who?
The fuck is that? I don't know yet.
Google. Glenn Close I get quite a bit.
You do get Glenn Close. And Tilda Swinton, any Asian
female actress with short hair I get.
You know, now, in fairness, the same girl who instructed you to
call me a master gender can't. Yes, is firmly convinced that I
have big Kieran Bartlett Fabes in my approach.
Approach to what? Telling people to fuck up
consistently and aggressively and getting getting aggressive
over like minor like life infractions.
But your stand ups, not really that aggressive.
You're actually more aggressive off stage than on stage. 100%
that's because there's intimacy involved.
But maybe you could just always pretend you're gagging.
That's ridiculous. Intimacy involved.
No, but like, you know, because you're like, you know, if you
have, if you're on a stage, there's distance and if you're
serving coffee, you're in behind the counter, there's a physical
barrier. You can be like, but if you're
just in a one to one with somebody.
You're like you're a Nuri gig. There was no distance for me.
I loved it. Oh, down.
And yeah, I saw you reposted that video again.
Oh. The keys won the the sorry.
Already fell off the stage. That was great.
No, you're not me, right? He fell off it.
He landed out in Bassbrook, Yeah.
Yeah, he could have sued. 100% and I had no insurance and I was
down in the back and I was having a bit of track as David
Mead was there that night it was made.
Me, the mind reader should he could have seen it come Yeah,
well should have given our but. He can tell him how to rebuild
his life afterwards. Yeah, you thought telekinesis.
You thought that looked like this, right?
Yeah, like this. Do what you did again.
Looks like you're close to getting cancelled.
I'm doing the reversal, Yeah, me just sitting there like, oh, is
the dog at the cameras now? You said this that was so
disparagingly. Don't trust the dog to operate a
camera, I'll be honest. So yeah, he, he actually, he
careered off the stage. And I thought to myself, I was
like, I was chatting away and I could hear this like kerfuffle.
I was like, what's going on? And then I saw him like
clambering his way back up. And I was like, there's so many
things going ahead as we Dome off.
You love Yuri. I'm not actually from Yuri.
Oh yeah. Where you from?
South Korea. South or MA?
But thank you. Thank you.
Why South Korea? Don't know, Just just.
Because I've stately. I'll be honest, when Willie said
about doing a reverse Chinese ICE, in my head I was like South
Korean, but it didn't make sense.
But I've had South Korea in the top of the tongue for a while.
All right, OK, because I do get ripped a wee bit about my my.
Looking like Kim Jong Un. My eyes.
Oh. Do you?
Oh, we bet. Yeah, because whenever I'm from
from trend carefully here, lads. Oh no.
No, when you said look, that was like, yeah, yeah.
Smile for me, No, Give me a wee smile.
That's why I don't smile, That's why I'm so aggressive, because I
don't want. Pretend you're impressing the
people in North Korea for someone being racially.
Abused. Yeah, there's, there's a
quality. See in the morning how white
Nuri is. She's the Chinese one.
Yeah, the only ginger ginger Asian lesbian.
What a title. I've just started watching
season 2 squid games, it's great.
Never, never. I.
Love it. Who's your favourite character
in the new one? I've only seen one episode of
the new season all. Right, OK, you've.
But just the main guy. I would love to do something
like that, but if it wasn't as dangerous as it is, yeah, I
think I'd rather do Ninja Warrior.
Suppose. Well, we could do a version of
it where we play games we played as kids.
Yes, we could do Quid games. Yeah, hide from my uncle.
Yeah, I was thinking British food logs like.
British Bulldog. British Bulldog Did you never
play a British Bulldog? I didn't know the British played
British Bulldogs. Is that what you've run over to
like burst through somebody'd hands or some shit?
I think we have Irish Bulldogs. No, we call it Red Rover.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's, yeah, there's like two
people in the middle, right? And then everyone runs it.
But if you get like caught, you have to join the middle, yeah.
I need to join the British Army if yeah to recruitment Dr
basically. Yeah, that that's exactly how it
worked out in my at my. Part of work What?
What marathon did you do? Belfast, NY.
Oh yeah, I did New York in 2012, the year it was cancelled.
It was cancelled because I was there.
But what do you mean it was cancelled?
I mean, it was cancelled. There was a hurricane in a
Hurricane Sandy 2012. Oh, that's right.
Yeah, and it was like flooding and stuff I got around Staten
Island, so people Dave and stuff So, but they didn't cancel it
until the night before. She laughing.
I think we're all you said you've done a marathon.
I marathon, yes. Or do you just go for a jog in
a? Hurry.
No, but you haven't completed. Did they do?
Did they do 26.2 miles? Did it?
Was it recorded on the night plus up?
Yes it was. Did I get my did I get my medal?
Yes, I did. They still gave out medals,
yeah. So in the midst of a hurricane,
the flood, one guy hung about with medals being like someone
might do it and I'll be new. York's a big place, you little
fucker. Didn't answer what I asked so he
still just talk about. Demonic Teresa Manion, don't
make unnecessary dirties unnecessary marathons.
So you got the medal though? Yeah.
Did you get it the day over the job they like?
Got it. Like the next day on the bus
home or the bus home? The Boss.
The Oxford. The South of man you.
Could bossy then don't trust. Don't trust aviation.
That's the most culchy shit I've.
Ever heard this goes to the helicopter?
Flies are wouldn't trust. Yeah, flights are £700 or
there's a £15 night bus. Yeah.
Seven months. Oh.
I love Belfast anyway, but yeah, so yeah, a couple, couple of
medals, six hours, it was horrible.
Yeah. Fuck, yeah, there.
Because the fireplace finish line, the actual finish line
that was destined for the marathon, that didn't happen,
was already there in place. But it was like, barricaded off,
right? And they took all like,
portaloos and all that stuff to the relief effort down in Staten
Island, right? So there's me, obviously not the
says they are. No, like I was significantly
later and running about rolling around lobster in Central Park
to equate the 26 miles and eh Barson for a pitch.
Yeah, because there was no, there's nowhere to pitch.
I'm was anyone stop? It yeah, yeah, there was.
Why? Do you do that noise?
Well, why do you do that noise? Like show me his teeth just
showing. You know, like.
I'll show. I'm gonna show.
I'll talk. I'll talk to him about it later.
I'm gonna show my back, say psych them out.
Won't look at me now. As a horny moment, well, I hope.
More importantly, how do you have a dog and you're scared of
dogs? Yeah, it's.
Are you scared of your own dog? Not really, because he's a wee
tiny bichon. Right.
So we small dogs, they don't scare me because even if they
bite me, scolds the across the room like, you know what I mean?
And that's first they've bit me. But bigger dogs, it just takes
them to snap and I can't do anything about it.
So they big dogs scare me, you know what I mean?
They do. Because if like, if a German
Shepherd snaps on you, you're fucked.
What are you going to do? If he gets his dog, that's his
sheep. Is the schizophrenic German
Shepherd comes for you? What are you going to do?
He's going to hit you with this wee Rook thing.
You can't do anything. Is that not what?
They're called. Rick is a Rick, not a a bird. 1.
Thing. Is it not called a Rick or a
shepherd in South Korean? Again, is it called a?
Hook that's a Rick shepherds about yes.
Are there still shepherds about I?
Mean. Yeah, they're made.
They're flocked by night. No, you do.
You're a culture. Are shepherds still about
culties never fuck up about the farm the minute you ask them one
thing about a farm. Fuck me.
I've never been on a farm in my life.
Well, you're a culture. And what that's?
That's the definition. Of what?
No, it's not. Yes it is.
What is the definition of a culture then?
No. I've said but I think it is you
tell me what the definition. Well, the definition isn't.
It isn't an opinion. A definition is a fucking is a
concrete. Fact.
Yeah, concrete fact is use fucking love farms and shit.
Yeah, Law Farms. We're quick to call people
anyone not from like one of four towns or cities cultures.
Then cultures have a different barometer for what a culture is
like. See Connor Keys Keisy.
Keisy is the strictest man for what a culture is, right?
You call anyone from like outside Omar culture.
He's like he's a Tony. He lives in a park and then they
show you a park and it's 8 houses with nothing around it in
the middle of nowhere. He's like look at this urban
Tony. I'm like this also is an urban
culture. So would you.
All right, so you've never been on a farm?
I've been on a farm against my will and I've been like.
What was this scenario? A hostage situation.
No, no, because like obviously I had I because I am a culture and
that I live in a rural area, but it doesn't mean that I engage in
rural activities such as farming or the.
What rural what rural activities do you think the rise a rural
activity? Right.
OK, so I went to school. With these outdoor enthusiasts.
Yeah, of course there's a bit, there's a lovely bit of graffiti
and you're at the minute on the side of one of the banks, right?
And it just says join the IRA. I'm like, actually you mentioned
it's not like up the road, it's like join.
Yeah, there was a great one we. Have dental?
There was a great one down the far side of Hollywood.
You know the way they like they always, they obviously send some
guy out to do it. But like the guy they got must
have been busy because round Remembrance Day somebody rode
Les. We forget Ellias.
Nicklaus batters me. Well, just look like Yeah, guy
called Les. Yeah, I thought something.
Comma we forget. But it but it sounded nice
because it was almost like whatever he's done wrong,
they've forgiven him. Yeah.
We'll forget. I think my favourite is the
eternal touts. Need Shoot is my favourite.
At the bottom of the falls, but I used to walk that way for
tech. RIP Nana Moon, she died in
EastEnders. That's that's that's of its
time. The rag that's maybe she just
didn't join. Exactly, Yeah.
Like someones dads doing that graffiti, you know what I mean?
Like that's like someone dies out there doing that.
Doctor, I love that graffiti because also sometimes it's, you
know, a paramilitary announcement and other times
just gossip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Johnny, Chris, he's a smelly bastard.
Yeah. And you're I got needed to be on
a wall. Yeah.
Or the worst fate could be is just your name is a pedo.
Yeah, on a wall. Or does fire sticks you know
Peter wants Probably worse. Not according to the police.
The justice system. Yeah, you can pick gaol for one
of them. And weirdly, it's not the people
Fire Stick. I love their like it was like a
meme or something going around just like Hugh Edwards got spare
gaol and they were like, meanwhile my uncle's going to
gaol for streaming Ipswich versus Bournemouth.
Do you remember that? What do you mean?
Do you remember the photo of him going about when all like all
the scandal came? Out.
So weird to be dressed top half and nothing on the bottom.
Because he's like turning around.
Yeah, like someone on the web cameras went.
It was like Butler on the top, business on the bottom.
I don't think Butler is a top. I don't think he did.
I'd say he's a reluctant bottom. What a new show is going to be
called Aaron Bottom. Start, start out, start at the
bottom. The reluctant bottom.
But I love we that photo key Edwards because he's not being
like sexy and confident with it. He's almost been like, that's my
wee yes, my wee bummer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh God, we hue like God love. GAIL and Newry's great Newry was
one of the 1st place to outside Belfast.
I would have gigged in regularly belt Belfast.
Newry and Dairy with it like that used to be like nearly the
only spots to gig. And there was that place that
changed names a million times, amplified.
It's like 4 floors. Yeah, we were there all the time
and it was just always a different name.
Yeah, yeah. What's the restaurant?
Was it Brass Monkey? Is that in there?
The restaurant, there's multiple restaurants. 3 Bellinis.
Bellinis, where else have I gigged?
Your place, The bank, the the town hall.
The end. People were always trying, you
know, it was Darren. Darren was always.
Good to turn, Hall, Nuri. Years ago, years ago, years ago,
right? So did you it?
Was great, really really fun gig and Nuri is one of my favourite
places to deer club. Nuri.
He says this him and our. Butler does my lumps and he says
new. What's wrong?
Nuri. The reluctant Nuri.
What's wrong with that? That's not how you see it, did
you? Ever play British Bulldogs in
Newry? Why are you doing that?
Borderline racist, actually. Because I'm trying to French.
This is me, child, a French accent.
British bulldog. I like I like you're sort of
getting in the stand up now because you would you you MC do
you put when it was in your. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I did.
I don't even know why or how. I think it was just one of them
things because Darren was sort of was the sort of, he was the
MC, Yeah. And then I don't know whether he
maybe couldn't do it or something like that.
Or invariably I would get drunk and I'd be like, I didn't throw
you on and then I'd end up just berating people or whatever.
And then the I think there was one time where he couldn't see
he'd got a, an infinitely better paid gig somewhere and yeah, I
was like, try to give it a go or whatever.
You always do great though, like every time I've seen you on you
fucking kill. But that's a home thing.
You're playing a home match there.
So like, if I always used to say, like if if I was gagging in
my own place, I got to have to tell constant Marilyn McCallum
jokes for people to go. Now come on.
Oh, you mean like you get away with?
I get away with it because Jesus.
Christ, Madeline, power cries, compels you.
No, no. I touched you there, a big thing
for me. You feel all right, so you know
it didn't hurt you. All right, So you can open up to
me, Leon. But you don't.
Get in touch either he don't like get in touch.
I'm very guarded. Yeah, if someone is in need of a
hug, like if someone's like, you know, oh, you know, and you're
like. What if a cousin died?
What? What if you just find out a
cousin that I'm trying to find out?
That's not close. That's not close enough for a
hug. I If they're dead, I can't hug
them. No.
If it was me and I just find that out, would you give me a
hug? No, it's not devastating enough,
Cousins. Not close enough?
Depends. How?
I don't know if you were, if you were visibly distressed.
Oh. Just fine, I'm going to lose a
leg Oh, it doesn't matter what it is it's just if you're.
Visible. Yeah, if someone is like
viscerally, you know, like sad and I will hug them so well,
I'll put all their broken pieces back together again.
But please give. Do you see?
This they don't think that won't
fix me. Do you see this bullshit?
Sorry, bullshit. We've just found another
celebrity look like by the. Way.
Oh, that's cruel. My friend never says he's an
egg. Yeah.
Yeah, I know. Yeah.
But if it's just like recreational huggery, I'm like
fuck off and you. Sounded so pains later
recreational hugger what? Do you hug Paisley?
Not well, Junior. I have, Yeah.
Wait, she fucking sound as fuck. I don't agree with him
politically, I'd say as a lad. Banter, Mercury.
Banter, Yeah. I would go on the pints with
them. Probably end up the Maldives.
You know what he's like. You've hugged them though.
Can we get more info on that? We.
Were at the me and Dave were at the RTS awards right for we got
nominated for something for William of Orangeville and he
was at it and he was just talking away to him and said we
got a wee photo like. That's not a hug.
That's that's. That's a man hug.
That's as much, that's as much as I'm willing to hug.
Sorry. Then fucking scissor.
I'm on the dance floor. I can put my arm around him.
Wow. You know, like that's a lot for
me, so I think I'm fucking a reach around the car.
Park, but is that something? You'd be open to I'm guarded,
I'm guarded. Me M von Morrison, let's make
that, says. When you say buggery was illegal
just between same sexes. I don't.
Or as an act. As an act.
I think the act was, it was banned as an act, but it was
really for the gays. It was it.
Was banned but you can do it to the wife.
Yeah, yeah. So it was like.
One rule for one I. I don't know, we'll have to look
it up, but I think it was boggery was illegal, but the aim
of that was just two men can't get together.
Right. But what if they were just, you
know. That's a some.
That's assuming that they want to go straight in.
Maybe they just want to starter. They just want to be, you know?
I don't, yeah. I don't know if there is law
against suckery. I think they would have included
the small print because you know those guys would be looking for
loopholes like in more ways than one.
Very time. Pulling the wall to ask.
What? Bugger this conversation is it?
No, why? You mean homophobic?
I am. I have internalised homophobia.
Really. Someone, someone asked us a
question the other day. Do you think there's gay people
that hear Pride? And there must be, yeah.
I don't hear pride. I don't subscribe to it, right?
I don't think there's nothing to be proud of.
Really. Yeah.
Fuck you, our culture. What do you mean there's?
So why do you not like it? Is a personal thing and I think
there's a place for it and all the rest, but I don't
particularly subscribe because I am a culture and pride is
inherently. For the idea of being proud of
anything. Anything right you know, And as
to my mind, let's get. Bombed.
Yeah. You're on the New York Marathon,
you get the medals and we're like, well done.
You're like, don't you fuck ever.
Say that. I've done we often ball on 24
miles. I'm going to fuck.
Apparently no record of it. Fair enough, it's actually 2622.
Don't know how long you didn't officially complete.
About right. OK, fair enough.
He's my for a dander. And daddy, I went for a dander.
I trained for fucking two years and stopped eating so that I
could go for a fucking dander around Central Park.
So you would you not go to pride if?
My point is you don't like you have no choice in being gay.
I don't think no, you're either gay or not.
So I don't say I have no choice in being white and Asian and
ginger either. So I'm not going to be proud of
that. I'm proud of myself for for
saying it and being like an owner of my truth.
Be proud of that, but proud for just like a dude.
OK, yeah, I mean, I will say there's a big difference, and I
don't know how to describe it, between gay pride and white
pride. I don't know where the line is.
Whatever. Yeah, it's an accident.
You're not burning a big dildo in someone's garden with gay
pride. No, why would you ever burn a
jello? Fun.
Yeah. Like they live dangerously,
Yeah. I was going to say, there's less
hoods involved, but you're a lesbian.
There's plenty of them. Plates but for white pride Ku
Klux Khan clip clan if you're going to combine I feel.
Like this is not real and the message that I received
yesterday was just fictional and I'm sure.
You're going to bring bonds. I didn't bring any bonds because
I thought to what? Fuck him, I I brought Mark
McCartney bonds, right? But that's because.
You brought him bonds or there's.
You brought us a signature line of Mark McCartney.
I love that. That will be, yeah.
If that's something he went into, I wouldn't be totally
shocked, shocked by. He's that he'd be our Mr.
Kennedy line of bonds. He would.
He'd be the. What would be the quintessential
Mark McCartney Bond? Just a plain scone, Anything
else is fancy city boys. I give 15 with no no coconut.
Or cherries. Yeah, or, or the fleet, yeah.
So it'd just be a load of digestive.
Moshi that. Would be so McCartney, yeah.
Hasn't even cooked. It just.
A broken digestive. I like, I like McCartney.
We're, we're big. We're big.
We all do. We all do compliment.
Yeah, we have an energy. What is that energy section?
Hmm. Both.
It's like you know that Dev Albertson with love and he had
collide right? That's what we would raid to on
our wedding, Nate. I see don't wing at me.
I'm not getting involved. Why?
Not get involved in this culture.
Lesbian marriage. I disagree with it.
Do you know what? If there ever was a lesbian
poster child, it's Mccarney. Yeah.
He'd not like on him The last name song.
Loves a checked shirt. Functional anorak and a pair of
bootcut jeans. Yeah, you know what?
I. Mean that is a good Venn diagram
of lesbians and cultures both love denim.
Oh well, people love denim. It's kind of a.
More of a lighter denim. Yeah, yeah, In the 80s that was
the case. I've ever been on the 80s. 2020
4 Called to get some new clothes.
I am used to have a bit of standard, but when when they
said all that was illegal, like, you know, when being gay was
illegal, like I'd love to know how that was placed.
So to horny placement peering into operations.
Yeah, they were just hiding in fucking public toilets, Yeah.
Buggery was made illegal in the United Kingdom under the Buggery
Act of 1533. That's.
Funny enough to say under the 1333.
Was passed by Henry the Eighth, and the punishment for buggery
was hanging. What a hypocritical bastard.
I'll shagger Henry the. 8th. You're like the fucking turn the
17 year old and I'm not allowed to.
We don't a. Bugger it, do anybody up their
own? Big fucking gaudy brain damage.
Henry the Eighth. Hold on.
What's your beef for Henry the Eighth?
I'm not like the shag people. That's right.
He loved the joist. He can do it now.
Hold on, hold on. I'm going to lecture you guys
and morally how to live. Let me cut this woman's head
off. Stop all that bomb stuff.
Yeah. You guys are simple.
She can't give me a song. Throw her off the tar.
You guys need to listen to God because I hear him in my head
all the fucking time. It's big Fathead.
Yeah, it's a one of the worst guys.
Didn't he explode in his coffin like his body when they put it
in the coffin just like because he was so fucking big
homophobic? Probably not.
Well, he probably didn't explode like his.
Fat. I don't know.
I heard he exploded. Well, if you've heard if you've
heard these mediaeval whispers. Was that a bit of graffiti
somewhere? How do?
You say that. Not just It was decriminalised
in 1967 private homosexual acts between men over the age of 21.
Private homosexual acts, Umm. Actually, in 1967 that.
Late. Yeah, what?
Sure was like. Hey, 1968 would have been a fun
year for a lot of people, big time.
Public. So we're here.
Have you? What's been the best game you've
done so far? Since Sure didn't stand up.
What's been the worst one? Sorry, no, there's one more
question I have. Right.
So it was illegal, right? Buggery was illegal up until
1967. So these men.
Did remove the death penalty earlier, but still.
You still got gaoled. Yeah, and the punishment for
getting rid of the bomb? It was to lock you in a room
with other men who had read each other up the bomb.
Pretty much. Fair.
Enough. I just got me.
You've seen that, that that guy he was is in America somewhere
That was or he was saying that I know Ahmed Ali that was shagging
an inmate. He was a prison officer shagging
an inmate and then he got sentenced to 15 months in
prison. Was a woman.
Yeah, it was Wandsworth present, was it?
Yeah. Oh, that's a recent one.
Yeah. Yeah, saw that.
Hey, love. Watch that you're still not over
the bug or. Anything.
Are you? No.
No, no, stop video you mentioned I've seen it.
Yeah, it was on the Twitter quite a lot.
Yeah, because I looked for it. It's weird though, because
they're not in his mates, just in the corner smoking a spliff.
Be like, this is class. It's really like the old time.
He's like, yeah, you're really giving it a good go there and
I'm like, can you fuck up? I haven't.
Seen this video? I just read the article.
Well, he's a well, he's if you, if you will.
He's seen it. You've taken more nails and
boots. I didn't see the movie, I read
the book. You.
Drop your vape there. But I don't know, I enjoyed,
I've enjoyed dailies. Oh yeah, I did it.
I've done it. I've only a couple of times.
The last one was a wee like a wee Brucey bonus because per
Teresa, Livingston was sick and a corner keys needed somebody to
fill in and it was it was literally like the day before.
So I just went down like I was like, fuck, you know, whatever.
And it it just went really well. So I was quite happy with that.
But yeah, I don't know, just doing even more.
And I did enjoy Alvarez as well, although I was fully shitting
myself. Do you know how I knew you were
really nervous? Why was it being nice?
Because you're really silent before it.
Like just dead. Like dead dead.
Like, courteously. Dead normal.
What's that all? About.
I mean, you knew why you were there.
You didn't ask. Didn't drop any counts.
Like, it was so weird because I was getting ready.
I was like walking up, like I was walking to a rap battle when
I saw you in the alleyway. And then you were like, hello.
Hi, Shane. Good Morrow, good Sir.
What's wrong with you? Was that the Wednesday to the
Thursday? Can't remember.
I don't know. I can't remember either.
But yeah, we're that was the first night.
It was the first night. We're talking about cannibals
just before this on unrelated and I just don't know me that I
don't know whether you seem like the guy who would do it or the
guy who would offer to beat me. You could be either of.
Those you think you need to give context.
I don't like being hugged. You're not fucking eating me.
I like I'd eat someone though. Yeah, I would.
I would eat someone. What's that?
Yeah. Yeah, where would you eat?
Like what would be the? Ribs.
The ribs. Really.
Yeah. Their.
Whole their cheeks, because I wouldn't eat that of any animal.
I'm not going to like butchers and man like, you know, you got
the arse like. Also, well, he's never eaten,
not on. The grill for 25 minutes.
I'm not being like love. Get yourself ready for bed.
There's a pot boil in there. Go fucking sit in it, gentlemen.
If I was going to eat someone, consume them, it would be the
ribs, right? I guess to barbaric.
You're eating a human, Yeah. Yeah, you can't.
Have moral standards here. Yeah, but yeah, I'm like Henry
the Eighth. Hey, get that Lube way.
You think? I'd probably go more like more
like thigh. Be juicy.
More, more calf, you know, to get me.
I think that's more entry level. But you're going, you're talking
about going straight in. Yeah, ribs.
Ribs are the nicest part of any animal.
They're fucking lover. Yeah, we're talking about the
guy who had the cock before this.
Thigh. Boiling.
Did they boiling? Afraid, afraid.
It was nice with salt, pepper, garlic and eh lemon.
So that's nice. Real.
Is that still Costco? Isn't it need to make cockle
van? Ah.
I would do that just for the pump that's fully and it
bleeding that's fully. Yeah, but that's, yeah, that's
going to be chewy anyway. You know, I don't see that as a
yeah, just the way it is. It has to be chewy like and not
in a nice way. By the way, I think too chewy.
Hawk. Yeah.
Do you want me? I'll take your word for.
It yeah. So it might be different to
yours too. You have more more admin with
yours. What?
Do you mean more admin? You have to peel it.
Yeah, you would, yeah. I'm pre peeled.
I'm pre. Peeled.
Yeah, we're have like a wee Kiwi Dick.
Yeah, we furry. Yeah, a mind more like a like a
baby more. Jesus Christ, would you
skinless. Would you eat tits someone if
someone? I love the idea that this first
time you met a lesbian, you're like, so like, would you, is
that something you'd be into? Like me too, yeah.
So like, if you go on to like LinkedIn or whatever and
someone's like, eat my boobies, would you?
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I'm still reeling from
the cock conversation. Yeah.
That's why I said baby just trying to bring in.
See when you know that happened in Germany, it makes it less
weird. 3 year old what the fact that happened in Germany you're
like Oh yeah yeah, like you you accept that more yeah.
Like that feels like something may be up to.
Either weird, the Germans. Yeah, they're weird.
Can I just go with that field here for you?
Yeah, just when we're talking about this is our time, we've
been scared of dogs. We're also mechanibilism and
weird shit. You know, that there was, you
know, as a case in Ireland in 2008 where a lady was in the
company of a gentleman and then the gentleman was like, do you
want to raid my dog? And she did.
And then she did. She went into anaphylactic shock
because of the dog. What kind of dog was it?
Annunciation. He's seen the video.
It was a Shih Tzu. Willy on Twitter here.
Hey, Janine. I remember her.
When did this happen? Yeah, but she died.
And. Yeah.
And sounds like she's gone into that night was like down for
whatever, but. Apparently, you see, it's a it's
a news article. Do they read articles and don't
watch videos? Yeah, because I'm an adult.
Yeah, it was. It was a.
Sorry, I'm sophisticated. This woman bucked the dog and
died. We glasses on.
Yeah. Ridden dog.
My goodness, next time see you in the alleyway.
They're like shame. Come here and read this.
This is transfer. You there boy?
Have you heard the news? Woman rimmed a Shih Tzu.
What animal? Like say I say I say, you heard
I've been caught. Having sex with an animal won't
be the first thing you will like.
You bucket a ferret, a ferret could see him bucket a ferret
like a loads of them too. He just lies in the bed like
going himself up just let's the ferrets have a ferret and he
worries like fair coach. Also he can be like king ferret
like. Mr. Burns and yeah, yeah, yeah.
See my vest? He's let's the ferrets talk.
I can. See that?
Wow, what would you buck if you had a buck?
An animal. Fuck a buck plant.
Probably something that's close to a human if you had to.
A monkey. Yeah, yeah, you're like a chimp.
A bubbles. I could say that.
Yes. Yeah, I could say that for sure.
I could say they're like this man bucked the chip, they go to
your house and like arrest the chimp.
Not 100% sure what you use which you know like.
This is a family name. You've got an orangutan or
Louise Guzman. It's one of them.
Every time you say Louise Guzman I I get confused and think it's
Louise Woodward who was the British nanny who shook a child
to death allegedly in in America in 1994 or something.
Maybe they could make a movie that Louise Guzman could Blair.
I get that in the Dingle lady. Confused quite a bit, yeah.
That story makes me sad though because the dingo did actually
eat her baby like and everyone. No one believed that.
Turns out the dingo did. Yeah, these things happen.
I mean, they don't. Yeah.
What about you?
Shit to stone my baby. So how did the woman die?
Like she died immediately. Orthelactic shock, presumably.
What is that? When I look, if you like, if you
eat it, if you're allergic to nuts or something.
Oh. She was, apparently but.
She's allergic to dog deck to. Dog nuts.
Don't be opening a dog deck in this plane here.
But in don't don't bring that into school.
I'm not. Allowed to bring my some stupid
bitch. It's an allergy.
I'm reagent. And I'm sorry, is there dog cock
in this? I knew I tasted that.
I knew. Oh, how everyone again.
I have one, I pay for it, but I have one I know it shouldn't.
Don't be opening your talks. You're an EpiPen all the time.
The Petra wee dog. So she was allergic to it.
Well, obviously she fucking died.
Where was this just? Never know, do you?
Where was it, Limerick? Limerick again.
That feels like that fits, you know what I mean?
I'm like, I get that. Yeah, but the article was like
the news, you know, report of like the inquest.
Yes. So this woman had like children,
the adult children who were attending inquest, like I was
like, like imagine you going on a date with one of them girls.
Like yes. It was telling me about
yourself. Our mommy passed away recently.
Oh, your mommy passed away. What happened?
Well. She met a guy.
Now that you mention it, just Google out there.
My mom. The dog buried her too, dead
Hamlet. I think the dog was actually put
down. Why?
For being horny. I'm.
Sorry, probably honest way of. Getting put down.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I've urges.
I'm sorry if it's offered up where.
Is where is Ollie by the way? I'm sorry, that's good how it
is. Why would you put the dog down
for that? That sly it is.
Because not like he's, I didn't do it.
It's not like the dog. It's not like the dog
instigated, maybe dead. It's like woof woof.
Yeah, dogs been banned or drinks maybe he.
Maybe he he groomed her. Does the Jaegers in a weed dish
get? It me and my owner, me and my
owner. Like your vibe?
Yeah, we saw you from across the park.
Dog dog being like so that ball over her.
I've never been propositioned. By a dog.
By a dog or or like a couple. That's very common, somebody.
It's very common not to be propositioned by no.
It's very common to be, you know, to be out and like, well,
sometimes I wear the wrong shirt and you tell me it gives it has
the vibe of me and my wife. Like your vibe?
It's sometimes you wear shirts with too many buttons down.
That's the one and that's the there's that's the one.
There's one where you're and all the time enjoy my night.
And then there's another button down where you're like, I'm
really enjoying my night. Do you do?
You I wouldn't say overlay, I wouldn't say overly.
He hurry chest. Pick Yeah, yeah, sexy cunt.
But he sometimes thinks that it's too much.
It is. There's sometimes it's.
Given out that I. Haven't even seen it, I know it
is. Have you been propositioned by a
couple before? No, no.
No, what am I getting? All me and my wife love Jane.
Yes, ma'am, it's Louise Guzman again.
We love Jane. The hateful age.
You want to fucking jump in here?
Absolutely not. Yeah.
Have I? No, no, I haven't.
When you were in the Snapchat pump, we getting any mess?
Any mess? What pump?
Like the peak era. All right, OK, were you getting
like message because isn't really a hard place to date, you
know what I mean? So you live in Belfast A lot
more people. People know each other less.
Somewhere like Newry, everyone knows each.
Other all over your home in Belfast as if it's like actual
fucking following Manhattan like.
Some Manhattan in the north. I've always said that.
She would know she ran round. If you probably go for an
unofficial marathon. Is it a hard case date?
I it is. Well, I've never had any like,
you know. Like ads in the paper, Kind of.
Yeah, the new reporter yeah wanted woman and it's at the end
and. Would you always date people
only from the area or do you go further afield?
Where would you date people from?
Keep a kind of look what? The Is there a town?
Is there like a rival town or area?
A rival to want to go in and raid their women.
Yeah, yeah. For Vadnais and she'll be.
General Romeo and Juliet, that shit.
Yeah, no. You look up after an island
like. Like that is lad, that is
absolutely what you just did. There was pure tech talk.
Lesbian core. That's here.
Have you? Yeah.
Look at the maroosh kebab. Yeah, are you not?
She wasn't a lesbian, she was just fucking really.
I know what was going on there. Have you never seen the tech
talk lesbian sort of thing? No, no, that's it's a thing,
right? It's like.
You're all of them. Like these ladies on Tech Talk
make me look like Mary Poppins. Like I'm sure you actually not
fucker Bartlett. Mickey has.
It was a slag in his official title.
Yeah, because obviously I would never say anything but Karen
Bartlett because that's who I am to be right in everything.
But yeah, because Maggie Bartlett slagged me.
Follow on on a podcast one time, perhaps would get us.
I'm not sure that Leon Mccoo, he was just like a specially a spod
carrying botched lesbian who just says, well, a lot of
people. I have never carried a bag of
sports, But you know, these girls are like their proper
dude, Like they're, you know, and the, they're biting their
lips all, all the time, looking at the camera and lip syncing to
Céline Dion songs. There's one in Scotland.
I know who you mean. She always sings.
They're like Rihanna, all right, and she looks like Bubba Ray
Dudley, like like she's a fucking unit for a plater.
But even the ones, even the ones that aren't units like, you
know, there's these like, and it's, it's very, yeah, they look
like you. Yeah, I haven't.
Do you know? Once told me I looked
androgynous. You do?
Yeah, I thought was the day you learned the word.
Androgynous. That's just another way to say
your fruit. Call me a fruit.
Yeah, well, it's just a way to say you look like a fruit.
You know, no, no. Back in the day, this is a term
that's been lost to time. You'd be a space boy.
I no, no. No, you're a wee bit of a
Spicer. Space boys would have more like
earrings, and I'm not a space boy.
We are. We're not not.
That's fine. You're allowed to be a space.
Boy, I'm more NAF dad than space boy.
No, you're not. More No, you're not.
Look at the. Dear Valley, it's like kind of
NAF. Dad, you're not.
What's easier Fate. 11-12 ones, 11 more 12.
I'm not a space boy. You are.
No, you are. I'm not.
Not like a poppy guy. Space bag like.
What makes me a space boy? That what you just did.
That makes me a space. What makes me a space?
But you're always colour coordinated.
OK. Always worried about his heart,
always see if he walks any reflective surface.
That's fine. I'm not going to say you're
allowed to be that. You care about how you look, and
that's fine. That's good.
Oh, so that's my crime. I care.
There's no active Spicer. It's not illegal.
Salmon and features. Yeah, you know you have, you
have good scan and all. You know, you look like you buff
yourself before you come out of the house.
I moisturise. Spicer.
Yeah, Spicer. They actually, like you, follow
my. Trace, I don't, I wouldn't say a
full on moisturise when I got to come out of the shower,
moisturise my face. What moisturiser do you use?
Simple, I'm allergic to every other one spice.
The fact you know that you're allergic to other moisturisers
absolutely smash. That I say this sentence.
I'm allergic to all of the moisturisers.
Yeah, I'm allergic to all of the moisturisers.
Spicer like, that's fine, but you are.
You do give me Spice Boy vibes back in the day.
I could see you with the wee Diamond stud.
Oh, big time. No.
And a pair of low, low raised jeans.
What am I? Looks?
I'm certainly not a spice boy. Lost.
You're like a lost I'm a we lost
toy. Yeah.
Yeah, I say, I don't know. You go between.
I don't know what you are. Yeah, you sort of transcend a
lot of different brackets. I'm a chameleon.
Whoever I'm with, I can adopt. Yeah, I can learn.
Like when you started doing and you know, you know the show.
Like when you started doing My Blood Party, put on episode 1 to
three of mud Blood and you will not recognise who Paddy's doing
a podcast with. Why he'd be like, Paddy's like
I'm Patty McDonald here and I'm William Thompson.
What's happening this week? Paddy fucks sake and all his boy
Oh my is like, it's a mimicer. It's a graph.
It's whoever I'm with. I will just subconsciously adopt
their mannerisms. Yeah, I can't tell.
Yeah, Isn't we not talking like a culture?
I don't mistake a hoodie and start monitoring family like is
that? Is that what you want me to do?
Because I can do it. Yeah, because that's what all.
He's done before. He did again.
Oh no, I wasn't going for the culture.
I was confident lesbian. I'm not wearing a head, he's
wearing a. Sweatshirt.
Oh my bad. Lesbians would be more sweaters
than hoodies. Is that fair?
Oh no, I'm not fucking. You're the only you have to
know. You're the only one we can ask.
Yeah. Why?
We don't know. Any other lesbians can't ask.
My sister's not answering because I keep bringing her and
asking. Her Is your sister a lesbian?
You fucking stay away. I want to see your Shih tzu.
Jesus Christ. Is going to become a thing of
like people dating other people's family because if you
start going with sister because he always threatened start going
with my dad. So if that starts happening.
Senior does, but I would. Oh yes, gorgeous he is.
He's good looking. Man, I was.
Imagine. Even a whole look after me.
Has he? Has he?
No bomb, no Kit Kat. No bomb, right?
Don't say anything well. I.
Love less one when I've when I'm out after I'm done.
Literally was not. I was.
I said I want them to take care of me.
You're putting this felt in. Yeah.
I just want to have cups of tea with him.
After. I don't want to fuck your dad,
but it's funny to make you think, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He can't. I know this.
He can't do it anymore. He's right.
But. Please don't let the gauntlet
down my dad. Out of banter, will buck.
You see as you've said that just to prove you wrong and do that.
And you know what? You still send me a selfie mid
doing? Me going I don't want to buck
your dad. He'll be watch this going.
Why? Why would you not?
I'd hate it if you started dating my dad.
I'd hate it. Would you rather him date him or
would you rather him buck him? Would you rather like shift them
follow for like 20? Months out of the way, just bang
them out once. Oh.
Much if I was date them, I have to come out like family events
and we can we kiss the cheek and be like and then I'm going to
the bathroom. Oh, you'd hate that.
Yeah, yeah, we both gone Daddy at the same time.
Join this conversation way too much.
Because this is not the first time we've had.
Me actually would quite like it because I like Willie a lot, so
I'm like, it'd be cool to hang out with the poor family, do
some. Getting like Christmas pictures
done and all, you know. My dad's like 2 knees boys look
like. Stephen Fry as we fucking boy
husband that's. Right.
That's why he does have wee boy husband.
Yeah, yeah, one of those. You see the photo and you're
like, it's funny that you see it.
You're like. He used to do stand up, but he
still does. I don't know the boy.
The boy the boy A. Little man like it was told.
That Oh yeah. Yeah.
Just compared to Stephen Fry. Yes, Tim Fry is like 68.
This wee boy husband's like 25. Yeah, not I think he's probably.
Older. Was he older?
Than that by the time he was. A wee boy husband.
Yeah, boy husband. You look like a wee boy journey.
I would be a good wee boy husband, yeah, to search Stephen
Fry, Yeah, I think he'd do my fucking tits in after a while.
He's too smart people, I guess, yeah.
I'd be like any question and he's just off on one.
Yes, he'd be like that flower and he's like, oh, the current
because. Well, he narrates.
He narrates one of the sleep stories on what's the app?
Can't they calm up? Oh, does he?
He does the love of their. Feet does the the Harry Potter
books. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do you listen to stuff to go to sleep?
You strike me. Somebody does.
The Harry Potter mix. Because you definitely he needs
he put gets a headphones in like he has to have something because
Willie T can't just have silence or he.
I hear noises. Yeah, the voices.
It's not good like. So I need something on the
background if you fall asleep the Greek mythology recently.
Already. And Stephen Fry is a boob.
Hi, fuck me. Yeah, Stephen Fry, a great
prune. Are we audiobook?
No, just like the complete history of Greek mythology from
start to finish. I've been falling asleep to it.
What do you mean? Jesus Christ?
He's not a looking. Boner.
Jesus doesn't turn up at any point.
I used to. I used to do the Stephen Fry
one, a couple other ones in the Cam up and then it was like, I
just don't want to get to the point where my phone doesn't
work in the app doesn't work. And you just you know, you know,
I mean, you're just get in touch with guys in the street or would
you come to my house and read me this?
You know, I didn't want to depend on it in case I I needed
always a man in the room during the story.
OK, I started to feed regressional Canada, right?
So now I don't. And you can't turn around to
your wife Me. Like can you read me a story my
phone did? Yeah, not attractive to get your
wife to read you to sleep. So you wouldn't mind just now.
You can't do that. And what book was sleeping for I
reading? He's just talking about the
lavender faders of France. I think that's the idea, yeah.
I don't think it's hype stuff like, yeah, it's all nice and
all. It's all the imagery and
sometimes you feel like you can smell the lavender.
I need an interesting story that I can imagine.
Smell the lavender. I need an interesting story that
I can imagine in picture and then I'll fall asleep to that
story. I if I'm picture and stuff I'm
not sleep. Really.
Yeah, I paint landscapes in my head.
I see stuff. If I'm reading a book, I picture
the people I acted out like a movie as well as reading.
What most people do, Yeah. Serious.
Yeah. That's how you called thought.
That's called reading and imagining.
Yeah. So when you read a novel, you
imagine what the person looks like.
Yes, yes, that's why. That's why they use descriptive
words. Tell you what he looks like.
To help you. Do you ever think of an actor
who would be playing that role if you thought about it in your
head? Yes, Louise Guzman, every time.
So you, so other people do this? I would I would suggest I.
Genuinely thought that was just like a me thing and I thought
what? Do you do whenever you're
reading something like what do you?
What do you? Do I like think of what the
person would look like and then I imagine them doing it?
So the exact thing that you're chastising us for doing?
No. He's not chastising, he's being
like he does this thing uniquely and he's just finding out.
So you're the only man that's ever thought.
I didn't know there was more like me, yeah, but I thought
people would just take in text. Are you a real person?
I thought people would just read text like as it is.
Right. No.
See, when someone goes there was a blue shoe, in my head, I'm
seeing a blue shoe. Do you?
Yeah. What do you do?
I picture a blue shoe as well. Yeah, but I didn't think all.
The stream isn't it? But I thought I'd like
overactive brain doing that. I wouldn't thought people were
at that right? Or I'll pick an actor.
If I'm reading the spy book, I go who'd be good at this role?
Or naturally, who am I thinking of?
Then I picture them when I'm. Who's normally the goatee actor?
Give me a son out. Like give me a description of
someone, I'll tell you. Who a World War 2 spy against
the Nazis in France. Give me a bit more.
It's a man. He had his imagination.
Is he British? He's not British, he's in
France, so he is French. Well, I give him an actor so we
can imagine him. Yeah, Frank, I don't have a good
big French. I've got that.
Gerald Imagine Imagine a different actor just pretending
to be French. Yeah, you're like to be pretend.
Eddie Redman. That's not bad, actually.
He's going to be the one cast I used to when I was at school.
I had an idea for a website called Dreamcast and it was the
people you voted for who who should have been the actor that
played that person, that role, and then you put it together.
The Dreamcast. You should get Sega to sponsor
that. No, I knew.
That's a great name. I knew if we went public we
would have to change the name, but it was just a working thing.
That you stroked. So it's like, who would be the
person in that film? Yeah.
And you would replace it with other people?
That is a fun game. Can I do one?
Yeah, give me one. So, eh, the Twilight movies.
Right. Who's playing the main guy?
Robert. Pattinson, this has happened.
Yeah. But you.
Changed that. All right, OK.
Or. No, let me take something else.
We're recasting training day. Until yeah, do what I do.
Oh, right. OK, OK, OK.
Yeah, OK. They're making a movie about the
famine. It follows one family on their
journey navigating the Irish potato famine.
So it's a husband and wife in their 40s to 50s.
That can be. They can be quite general.
OK. But I need a husband and wife.
Danny DeVito and Kate Winslet, yeah.
A husband and wife? Yeah, yeah.
I was thinking. And I need, I need a English
land. A horrible English landowner.
Hugh Grant, right? The wife is Heather from
EastEnders. She show me the wife.
Big have. Big have, big have a no.
One's going to believe her in a family, yeah.
That's the that's the famine, yeah.
This is the comedy. Yeah, no, I know there's dead
serious costing. It's gonna be her.
I think she has range. I think she has on top of the
potential and also she makes me laugh.
So she's going in on the husband.
I should point. The husband Mark, right from The
Only Way as Essex. Right.
You didn't think this? Is serious.
I took it very. Seriously.
Right.
OK, Robert Carlyle. Is that the correct
pronunciation? Is the land.
Or husband Tim What? Is the land.
He's the husband. She's.
Going to do an Irish accent. I know he's done it.
Before I know how fucking traumatic for she look at him.
He can do a culture accent. People can be what they want to
be Shane right? Thomas very aggressive and I'm
not like. I know.
Fucking radiant. More Glenn.
Glenn. Close would be the wife.
You haven't taken seriously either.
Fuck off. So I'll tell you.
The sorry, sorry DA. Colin Farrell will play the man
right and the wife will be played by.
Heather from EastEnders. Umm, the woman from the Michelle
Farley from Game of Thrones. Who she?
And the the Ned Stark's wife and the English rich English
landowner Vector Mildrew. Fuck off.
Oh these potatoes are rotten. I don't believe.
Fuck. Off No, let's make it.
Let's make a laugh of the farmership.
Hey. Here, I'll give it a go.
Right? Yeah.
Willy, looking at that. Like a tech talk lesbian, yeah.
Willy, your your UK tournament. Yes, March 21st to March 23rd,
I'm in Glasgow, Edinburgh and Liverpool.
Glasgow and Edinburgh are over halfway gone, so get those right
you can. And Liverpool is getting there.
So William thompsoncompany.com. Any others or just those?
Just those you run anything. An official marathon.
Are you running any gigs? I know.
Yeah, we're going to be doing a Comedy Festival in Newry and I
know. The Newry Comedy Festival.
And Newry Comedy Festival in possibly in around may time.
So myself and Darren are getting together or not.
And then it's just gigs, gigs, gigs, gigs wherever, if any, if
anybody wants to give me any gigs.
Yeah. Give me a shout.
So yeah. So we're going to be doing stuff
like. That do you Darren, have a
podcast? What do you Darren, have a
podcast? Yeah, we do.
We did, We do. I have my own.
Well, we have a Power Station podcast that had to be that had
to go on hiatus because it's a long story.
It's a long story. Anybody that follows knows.
And then I have my own podcast, which is a clean podcast called
Must Be the Music. It's about music.
Yeah. It's had a few, a few guests on
there. Yeah.
If any of you guys, if you have a passion for music, you want to
talk about it, talk to. Me guys, thank you very much for
watching, listening. Thanks to Leanne, thanks to
Willie. Let's go and have lunch.
You're not coming for lunch? No.