I'm Michael. Che and I'm Colin Jose, and
we've got a little secret. Actually, it's a pretty big
secret. Well, now you got to give the
people something. I'm not saying a word.
Oh, then people will know to tune in.
Come on, tell them a little. Like how we're hosting of comedy
events streaming only on Peacock, exactly how it's called
New York After Dark and it's a comedy show that only features
drop in comic. Boom, you nail.
Into Michael Chase phone numbers.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey.
New York After Dark. It's some kind of comedy thing.
And it's streaming now only on Peacock.
You love it? I'm.
Going to make the same joke I made just a minute ago when we
tried to record a podcast for the first time.
And then I was like, here, let's just start again.
I was just saying there. And fun fact about the guy who
invented the microphone, his real name was Michael Reform.
Thank you very much. Michael Refone also sounds like
maybe a guy in like a Martin Scorsese film back in the day
who rotten everyone? Michael Refone, the rat.
Speaking of Michaels, I've got I've got Big Mike here with me
sitting perched on a stood like Rod Stewart.
I've also got Dan Quick. Who?
Dan, I know if the podcast we recorded without you has already
gone out where I was talking about your height.
It has. Yeah.
It's gone. And you heard it, yes.
Did you have any strong feelings on that like good or bad?
We we offended that I and by the way, because I said that I've
never really seen you standing up.
Yeah, I wasn't sure about that part.
Well, no, I know I have seen you stand up.
I just can't. I can't connect you with a
height and like even though I do, you're sitting in that
chair, I still don't know if you're like 5-4, maybe 6-8.
So what? What is your official height?
Officially 511. Yeah, but unofficially.
Unofficially 663. You're making yourself 6 inches
bigger. Michael's calling himself Big
Mike. Everyone's just trying to get
way more St cred on this podcast, but there it is.
I'm wearing a Jelen. I'm perfectly all right with
that. It's acceptable.
A lot of the time I look at Jeles and I think as long as
it's like a light gilet and it looks like it's supposed to be a
gilet, that's fine. But it's when it looks like a
just a coat without sleeves, that's when I go.
That's stupid. And this I feel like is maybe
virgin on the edge of both of those things.
But nobody, nobody's mad about it.
Zippers. Welcome to this episode.
Before we get properly into it, I'd like you to do me a favour
if if you can, if you don't have hands, This one's kind of
understandable. You want to take a take a back
seat on this. If you would like to go to Apple
Podcasts and read and review tea with me, that'll be great.
Because the more people that give it like a nice five star
review and say something dead on, the more that happens, the
more the rain forest the saved. OK.
And I don't want anyone to quote me on that or ask me any more
questions about it, but it's like an unofficial thing.
We have gone with the Conservation Society of the rain
forest and that is a real place conservation of CCOT coder.
We've been working with those guys pretty closely.
And then look, you leave us five star review.
All I'm saying is a chimpanzee. It's going to see Wednesday.
So I'm not by the way, I'm not That probably makes it sound
like if you don't, I'm going to kill chimpanzees on Wednesdays.
I'm not going to kill chimpanzees.
Something struck me on the way to this podcast after I tried to
climb over a wall to get here because busy.
I parked near the podcast studio and then I you guys don't need
to do this. But then I tried to hop a wall
to get over here thinking I was, I don't know, 9.
And then I realised I'm 31 and there was just a woman looking
at me and I got a bit weird. But the do you know the law firm
like just in the middle of the High Street here?
You're going to say the law against hopping over small
walls? 28 years, it's, it's so
excessive. Just an age limit.
You just can't. My dentist used to always say to
me even up until I was like in my mid 20s, I genuinely left his
practise because of this. He used to say after any like
you know if they give you like the laughing gas or, or like
what do you call the stuff they give you in the dentist?
The gas and air, nitrous, nitrous Oxo sort of dentist,
Yeah. No, you know, like the dentist
guys. Anytime he did like a filling
for me or anything like that, he used to say to me after and he
was being serious, he would go, don't we climb in any trees?
What? I'm 26.
Don't we climb in any trees? Oh well, that's my drive home
ruined because it's going to pull over and totally more
Forest Park and get up a Redwood.
Hold on, if he didn't want you climbing trees, he was letting
you drive home. No.
Well, my mommy was driving me fucker.
Yeah. So on the way here, I looked in
the window of this, I shouldn't have said law.
I mean there isn't that many law firms in Hollywood and there
isn't definitely isn't that many on my way here.
But all I'm saying is this, I used to work with this girl and
I'm trying to figure out if it's her that works there that, but I
don't know if it is. And if it is, she might look
slightly different. But then again, a lot of young
women nowadays are looking different.
If you, if you, if you, if you understand.
So what I'm saying is you might see a young woman in Belfast in
2011 and then you might see her in 2020 and she might look very,
very different thanks to science.
Right. The they're all getting the lips
done. OK, all right, they're getting
the lips done. And you'll find it's a lot of
groups of friends. They all have it.
So a lot of them are getting that this.
Is far more normal than where my head was going.
What were you thinking? You were thinking, I was
thinking like. You think for yourself and
Nicolas. Cage told me it took me a taller
and like, you know, well, extreme.
Dancer. Yeah, that procedure done.
I recommend it to anybody. Who's no I'm trying to figure
out if this is this guy I used to work with because I need to
figure out if I should do a wave or not.
Because if it is her, I'm walking past pretty much every
day and not waving and she's going.
There's a guy I used to work with.
Bear in mind though, she's not waving at me.
But if it isn't her, I just need to know so I can move on.
But if it is her, that's interesting because she she
looks different. OK, And that's all I'm going to
say. Park it there, leave it at that.
And the reason I'm paranoid about that is because we were in
home bird Cafe couple of that's where this week's tea is is
from, but they're not paying us. So that's not dwell on that.
Sometimes they give us the discount because we're we're
within the same office building. But, and we're supposed to
technically that's good, but I don't really ask for it.
It's a bit awkward if you have to ask for.
Discount, but no. But they said about it.
By the way, you qualify for this thing.
Just make sure you mention it. I think I mentioned it once or
twice and then I hoped it would continue as an automatic thing.
You know what I mean? We're like, if you've
established it once or twice, that discount, then it just
always gets. But I think now I've left it too
long. They.
Should give you a card. What some kind of?
Yeah. But then the money did
manufacture the card would probably offset the discount
you're going to you're going to ultimately get, we get discount
in a new place at the place that's near us.
We do talk to me over percentages.
Don't know yet, but I'll figure it out.
Yeah, OK. In fact, I know what it costs
for a coffee, but I don't know what the original price was, so
I don't know what the discount is.
You know what I mean? Well anyway, I was in Humber a
couple of days ago. I thought I saw somebody.
I knew this person had their back to where I was sitting, so
I think they've spotted me. So I think I need to give a wave
on my way out because I've left it too long to give a wave from
where I'm sitting. So it's like I'll do a goodbye
wave on my way past. So I walked over the table.
I don't know this person that well.
I walked over to the table leant over and round them and waved
back at their face and said see ya at that on the yeah.
I realised I never met this person in my entire life.
Now this person was probably young enough to maybe
potentially be aware of who I am.
OK, because I do say a lot of times do not know who I am.
This person looked like they may know who I was.
So maybe when I walked in this person was like, there's a
dickhead those videos. Then they're leaving the
conversation going and he came right up to my face, lent around
it with his big moon head and went see ya.
What a weird thing to do. So yeah, I need to figure that
out. I've been thinking about this
thing recently, but I've got loads of listeners questions
this week. So we'll just we'll get properly
stuck into them. But I've been stuck in a wee bit
of a like a head swamp in the last couple of days because I
was reading this thing about how do we know?
And maybe you 2 guys can help me over this.
How do how do we know that we're not just a projection of
somebody's mind? This is the like the brain in a
VAT theory. Like, how do you know that
you're not just a brain in a jar somewhere and you know you
think? Well, that's my question.
That's my question to you. So basically the thing and I
don't know 1000% of it and bear in mind I got a EE in my science
GCSE double award. But we could just be somebody
else's like dream or or a thought.
Yeah, but heavy for a Tuesday, but we'll go for it, no?
So, yeah, it's a bit like, you know, when you're, you know,
when you're in a dream and you go, this is, this is real,
right? And the dream only lasts for 20
seconds or two minutes or 20 minutes or whatever it is.
Like, how do we know that this isn't just a bigger version of
that and we're just in somebody else's dream?
But then again, if you're in somebody else's dream, you
wouldn't control. Yeah, I think it's more likely
that how do I know you're real? Well.
You know. So you think you're convinced
you're real? Absolutely.
You don't know. I don't know.
Yeah. Michael, like Mike, is he
actually there? There's another fun one called
Last Thursday ISM. Have you heard of this?
Last Thursday, ISM Yeah, No. Which is.
How do you know that everything didn't just pop into existence
last Thursday? Like, how do you know?
How do you actually physically know?
But explain. That there's no, there's no,
there's no way that you can. It's it's one of those.
Unfalsifiable things, you know. But how do you know that that
that memory didn't just create itself last Thursday?
Everything just came in. There's no like, you can't, you
can't prove it. You can't like physically.
What about videos and all that kind?
Of all invented last Thursday, everything just went last
Thursday. What?
About the dinosaurs. Yeah, last Thursday.
Last Thursday, Busy day. But the idea of being a
projection, would you do we then have to be our own projections?
Like I know that I can't be a projection of your mind because
I'm making a decision to go like this, but.
But in my head, my projection of you would say something just
like that. I don't know.
I know that I'm real, but you're not real.
Do you like? I feel that I'm real, yes.
The Truman Show, the film made me go this is me, this is me.
And sometimes I honestly think like, you know, when you meet
like a full knockus, Sometimes I think they they're, they've
they've fucked up. No, sometimes I think you know
the way of like. Oh, like a glitch?
If you're. Away made a mistake.
Yes. And like a homeless person, like
tries to come up to you and grab you, whatever.
I think that's someone who's potentially trying to say to me,
get on. See, I like to see and go
through. That I've definitely had the I
don't know about the projection thing because I maybe don't
understand it that well, but the Truman Show thing definitely,
definitely I've thought of and I've also thought of this say
your mind is like the true say real life for me is the Truman
Show. Sometimes I think you know the
way like you followed a touch of friends from school or whatever.
You don't see some phrases sometimes.
I think they're an actor. And they must be raging that
they're not in the show because they were such a big part of the
show and now they're not in the show, but they are.
Yeah. So they're just having to sit in
the house and we have to be, we have to be in scenes, not going
to be in. Like, do you think if you make
plans with someone and you're like here, like next Thursday,
let's go and do this? The person said, great, and I
give a great performance in this.
And then you're like, yeah, I can't make it.
They're like, for fuck's sake, just sitting in a big trailer
somewhere. And the whole world knows and
watches the Shane Todd Truman Show.
Yeah, drink. They have awards for those
actors too. So there's like the you don't
know about. Oh, the dodgy thing about that
is that somehow I would stumble across that award ceremony.
Not like the treatment show, he's in his own little bubble.
Work but. There are people trying to tell
them, tell them that it's real. So someone would book you to
host the award show. They're an insider.
They book you to host it. That's all you're.
No. Just footage of you.
They couldn't negotiate the fee. I'd end up like, mate, you need
the Hostess. How much are we talking?
Trust me, it's really important. I'll put another one of it.
I think I could get stuck in his own world just because he wanted
an extra £40. I mean, that's that's weird that
it's also weird thing if if I, if my life is the Truman Show,
right? You've been in it for about 16
years, so you're a major, major character, you.
Must be on great money because I'm only on yeah.
Starter money. You're a new character.
Yeah. And then and but maybe there are
people who aren't actors in it. Maybe they're just people who
get paid that live in the world, but they're actually not actors.
Maybe you were just being paid to live in the world.
I'm like, hey, I met you. Really.
Also, I'm like coming to this podcast.
Maybe then you're, maybe you're taking acting lessons now and
maybe you're getting a bit too big for your boots.
You know, maybe that happens to people because the actors know
what they're coming in for. Maybe people like you who are,
although for all I know you are an actor and you're playing
already. Ulster Studio Manager.
I'm just really good at the acting.
He did a great job man. I'm doing a great job.
I don't know, I just. Take it from me, an experienced
veteran. Yeah, in the field you're doing
really well. Yeah, like, and I think you
maybe didn't even want to be an actor, but you've been in this
for, although I think you've been in this for so long.
I think that I was just in the room and somebody grabbed me and
was like you're now his his friend and this can you.
And I was like, what? I'm going from lunch.
I think you're like Jesse out of Breaking Bad.
Like you become like all of a sudden you're like this big
actor in a show. You've been in it for years.
It's a really popular show, but I don't think you would be good
in other stuff. No, it's really hard to be low
key. Like act low key.
Yeah, all the time. I'm not really an in your face
kind of guy. You know, and how do you and all
the actors I'm seeing on TV and film and stuff, are they real
actors? Like I think all Robert De Niro,
Al Pacino and stuff, but are they just, are they playing
actors in my world? So what's Al Pacino's real name?
Al Pacino Real. Name the actor, the players, Al
Pacino. It's like.
Clive Simpson, He's Clive Simpson.
Like he's from, he's from Derry. I have no idea if being serious,
right, If my life up until my husband, like the Truman Show
can, can I just go like I think I've been a good sport with it
and can I not get out of it? Because if it is, just let me
say, OK, I'm not going to sue anyone.
I'm not going to kick off. I'm not going to launch Law.
And what would the world's entertainment do?
Like, no one would have any entertainment.
The Truman Show was like the only show that everyone watched.
So then everyone makes on great money at the minute so he
doesn't want. To give it up, I would say that.
Wouldn't been rebranded as yeah, do you know it's funny if it is
true you 2 are sitting here being like yeah whatever in the
back here it's you're like. They're in our ears right now.
Go get them away from this topic.
Move on, move on. OK, well, we'll move on from
this. From this topic, I made a New
Year's resolution. They don't have any New Year's
resolutions. Don't really believe in it, no.
It's just one of those things. If it's something that you're
meant to do, you'll do it. Yeah, but sometimes you have to.
You have to properly make a point to go on.
I'm going to do this thing or not do this thing.
Yeah, the data is an arbitrary thing, though.
I think it's just like I tried to do it.
That's why I'm just raging. What did you try and do?
Go on a diet and get healthy, but that didn't work.
You're saying that like you're a big fat mess sitting for there.
You you look good. And I'm an actor.
I remember. So I'm just telling you.
I'm just, I'm just being contrary.
They're paying me to be contrary.
Guy who's 1011 stone, but in reality you're 49 stone.
You're such a good actor. Like a reverse fatsuit.
They're just sucking me into this.
My New Year's resolution was to read more books, actually sit.
And I like the idea that I'd sit and read in a coffee shop and
somebody would come up to me and go, what are you reading?
And I go, you know, while they're just waiting for a take
away or something and I go get the fuck out of my face.
It's not your business. And then I'd go back to whatever
I was reading because I used to read a lot whenever I was a kid.
Like I remember my mum got me, I don't know if my mum got me
there. So the book was just floating
about the house. But there was a thing called the
Children's Bible, which was like a large, large Bible illustrated
for children. And like, I was never brought up
like I'm a mum or dad, anyone to be in any way religious.
Like we didn't go, none of us went to church or anything.
I don't think anyone in the family does.
And then I said that like with the mafia.
But then. But I remember getting this
book, I'm being well into it because I liked the stories.
So I was going to be like 6 or 7.
And I was like, as stories, these are brilliant.
You know, they're like the blind man, Jericho, the David versus
Goliath, all that great stories. But I and I was just taking them
for what it was. If you'd asked me if you'd have
taken the time to ask me as a child and gone are you, are you
like a young Christian who really into this, I'd have gone.
I'm not. I respect people's beliefs, but
I'm enjoying these stories. But because this was such a big
book, it was taking me so long to read.
I used to take it everywhere. So with hindsight, I look like a
weird child preacher who just walked away everywhere with my
big large book to preach the Lord's name.
So I remember like I remember I used to just be really into
reading and writing stories, I guess kind of do write stories
still with sketches and stand up and stuff.
But I want to read more because I do.
I do the calm story, nighttime stories.
Oh yeah, what's that like? I've been looking at that.
Right. So I would have always dismissed
it. I mean, if you if you, what was
it, right? It's basically an app, an app,
an app that has like meditation, music, all that kind of thing.
That's a pessimistic like. Whales making whale noises and
that kind of. Yes, and sometimes on.
Leaves and then whales making monkey noises as well and stuff.
So they're not created out of, but it just still sounds like
whales. But what it has, yeah, it's like
meditation, music, sounds of the ocean, all that.
But then there's also like, rain.
Rain against the window. There's storm, there's all that
kind of thing. And I would always have been
very like, Nah, exactly like your look there.
I was like, no. And then some people said like
adult friends of mine, not that I have child friends.
Well, I've. Move on, move on.
I'm indifferent. I'm not like he's my mate or
he's not my mate have kids. I like, you know what I mean
like, but I don't, but I just like them as in like a friend
way, but I wouldn't really call them mates.
So I'm not really I'm going to like phone them up and go fancy
going out and doing something. If I want to socialise in a way
with each other from the straight away from the parents.
First of all, how about the parent will come as well will
come along as well. So that's what I'm saying
basically. We can cut all that out, it's
fine. Don't leave it in just in case
they will bring me up on this, but they they have nighttime
stories on this read by men and women for adults.
And if you'd come up to me, we've been friends here for 16
years. If you'd come up to me and what
did you last night? You were I'd had an early night.
Just put a sleep story on. I would have roasted you until
you were blackened, my friend, but I just stuck this on one
night. So my wife has the AB.
I stuck it on one night. She said it with the nighttime
stories and I put one on and it was Stephen Fry reading about
the lavender fields of France. Jesus Christ.
He said about four words. And I was like, this is
bullshit. This just totally got in the
deepest sleep of all time and then Oh yeah.
So we, we just had like you get like 2 free stories on it.
So we're listening to those. And then we just like bought the
library and it is brilliant. Like I usually maybe like once a
week and the fun just play. Like in the room or do you have
earphones in? Plays in the room.
You definitely could put earphones in, but plays in the
room, Yeah. I can't sleep with headphones.
See, I have to. I have to have something on.
But my girlfriend's like a bad sleeper.
So for something on like she'll like sleep talk, react to the
fact like if the TV was on she would have a conversation with
the TV in her sleep and that would like disturb her sleep.
So I have to have. You ever said anything that's
made you Oh. She'll like have an argument or
like be laughing or having great crack with whatever is going on.
I couldn't. Yeah, at the end of different
that would freak me if I if I was in bed asleep and I heard
laughter in the room, I'm gone. What about screaming and
pointing, hey, who's that over there?
Who's that man over there? I'm like, no, there's no one
there. So that there is right there,
eyes open, you know, this is this.
Is no, I can't. I can't hack.
That so therefore no, no distractions in the room.
So I have to have my earphones on.
Oh. My.
God, But then I wake up and I'm like, choked by them and they're
upside down and inside out. But I always feel like they
would never actually, you know, strangle me.
Your headphones. Yeah, like, you know, I, you
know, iPhone. Earphone.
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean. Not fucking yeah.
Craig David Yeah. So it's there's like a library
of about 50 stories and somewhere actors like Matthew
McConaughey does one. And sometimes they'll read like
they might read about something, like about butterflies an actor
might be just telling you about. Butterflies, but pretty much
just the most boring stories they can find, they sent.
You to sleep? No, because some of them are
like, like Gulliver's Travels, I've tried to listen to about 12
times in the last couple of weeks, but I can't get through
it. So it's like 20 minute story, 5
minutes in, I'm done. And last night I listened to it
for the first time, but it defeated the purpose because I
was purposely trying to stay awake to listen to the end of
it. Then by the end, I was like,
wide awake. But yeah, it's like some of them
are like fairy tale stories. Some of that, like Matthew
McConaughey does one. His is actually underwhelming.
I thought his would be great, you know, I mean, like, you
know, but it's not. And John McEnroe reads the rules
of tennis, which is, you know, you're a shipping forecast.
Yeah. The guy who does that just reads
the shipping forecast, and it just puts you out like a light.
Do you sleep well? Do you sleep well?
Yeah, usually. So you don't need anything?
No. See, the weird thing about this
is, as much as I like it, I'm worried I'm getting the
dependency level where I need a man to read me a story to go to
sleep. So I worry that like, if the
phone died or whatever, I would have to like, call my
neighbour's door and go. You read me a story, mate.
You know you'd have to come and read it into my ear.
But I like the way we've talked about before.
You used to go to sleep with the snooker on.
Snooker is great to go to. Sleep, if you Yes, And how did I
forget that we used to talk about this?
John Virgo, if you, if you. Can't sleep.
The number one thing is if BBC are covering the snooker or you
can get snooker, maybe you just put on YouTube and your TV, put
on a big snooker match, a big long match and just close your
eyes and the wee sounds of the snooker balls being hit and
going across the table and the fact that the crowders are
reserved, it's just a recipe for sleep.
Like you'll just be lying there and you'll just hear, well here
he goes going for a break on 68. He takes the Charlotte the
Black, and it's good. Great stuff there from Ronnie
O'Sullivan. Someone in the crowd fuck up.
No need for that. That man has been thrown out.
Quietly ejected. Ladies and gentlemen, quiet,
please. It's the way to go.
Yeah, it is. It is definitely the way to go.
So much so that if I go to a snooker hall with a maid, as
soon as I take the first shot I'm just out on the table.
Snooker halls. They were very, very different
places than Championship snooker.
Snooker hall. I mean, I don't wonder Frames
libellous but Oh no, frames is dead on.
But there's one righty. Like there's one I used to go to
with my dad. Not much wouldn't.
Take the family. Let's leave it at that.
You know? You know, there's business being
conducted at some of the tables. But it was good and people used
to smoke in it and I liked it because I was a kid and I was
like, I'll probably smoke on a moulder.
And then I realised I just, I don't have the lungs for it.
Have you guys seen before the listeners questions?
I'm watching someone on Netflix. I'm a big fan of Bloodline.
I started watching Bloodline. It's set in the Florida Keys.
It's like a big Netflix original drama and it's about a family of
brothers and sisters and stuff. And one of the brothers comes
back. He's like a drifter and he's a
bit dodgy and he's been away and he comes back and he's like a
real black sheep and it's really good.
The only thing is everyone and every episode has like a bottle
of beer. They live in the Florida Keys,
so it's like, you know, see through what I mean, All water
see through, to be fair, but it's like Clearwater, white
sand, palm trees. And they're always like sweating
a wee bit because they live there.
And everyone always just no matter what the conversation or
the setup is, just opens up a bottle.
A bottle of beer sits with a bottle of beer and we write for
my wife's granny's birthday on Saturday night and I don't
normally drink beer anymore, but I was like, I need some beers.
But then I remembered I'm not cool enough to drink normal
beers. So I had to get gluten free
beers and I had to arrange to bring them to the hotel.
I had to ask for a manager when I get there, had to say I'm she
and she was like come with me and I had to like take them to a
special fridge. I was assigned A barman, a
personal barman. That by the way, that's exactly
what I'm about has given. I mean, he was allowed to serve
other people as well, but he was mainly my friend.
Did you get rage? And when he was serving other
people. Yeah, they don't like it.
It's like seeing your Barber cutting someone else's hair.
You know that they have to do it, but you don't like it.
And he was called. He's called Michael.
Actually, he's called Michael. So every time I wanted a beer, I
do, Michael. I need a drink.
Michael. Where's my drink?
Michael? As long.
As you didn't call him Big Mike, I'm fine, no.
Eh, don't behind the bar. You don't know if the bar is
raised or not, you know if it. Could be real deeper hang up
about this height. I know I just, I'm not good at
working on people's heights. Umm so that was great.
But the be added drink gluten free beer and then I had like 4
and I was ready for bed. My eyes were gone.
Can we do some fun before we do listeners questions could could
you bring up celebrity heights? And could you ask me what the
height of some celebrities are? Maybe there's like a list of
like a lot of different celebrity heights and I'll try
and work out the height. Start with some obvious ones.
Shaquille O'Neal was shocked by the most obvious movie 68.
Danny DeVito. Danny DeVito.
That's how I was thinking. Danny DeVito I think is 52.
I'd say flat 5. I don't know.
He's not on this list. He.
Hasn't made the list. Tom Cruise.
Tom Cruise, 54. 57 he's actually.
Taller than a lot of people think.
Yeah, 54 would be a bit, but. Danny DeVito 147 No, sorry.
One metre 47 What's that in feet?
I don't know. Hey, Siri.
I only know I only know height or I only know feet.
Yes. What is 1 metre 47 centimetres
in feet and inches? Group podcast content.
One centimetre is 0.033 feet small like Danny DeVito.
Credit to him is very very good for being null.
Point null, not 3 feet. So he doesn't doesn't get me.
Imagine Danny Devine trying to drag an Oscar off stage. .33 No,
not point not 33 Michael J Fox. Height don't know be hard to get
an accurate measurement. Evidently.
I'm going to say if if you can get him, he's 55.
Yes, that's correct. Yeah, No way.
Yes. Yes.
Vince Vaughn. Vince Vaughn, 6 foot 4.
Nah, three, I was going to say 656. 5.
Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller is 5 foot eight.
I think this is ridiculous. Did I get it?
Yeah. No way.
I told you I have a gift. I have a gift.
And that's what disturbs me so much about you.
You're. Hold on, I thought the whole
premise of this was going to be that you didn't know, you
couldn't. I didn't think I did but not
realised I have a gift for I know people's heights.
Right Shaq. Shaq, 6971.
Jeez. Shit, one more.
Paula Abdul. Karth Paul 53 52.
Enjoyable Sorry to interrupt but we have a very very quick
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Exclamation mark back to the podcast.
All right, we've got loads, loads of listeners questions.
So I'm gonna, I'm gonna get them out with that water way after
time. Aye.
Half an hour. Half an hour.
Danny de Vito is 5 foot. 5 foot exactly.
Well, he's grown a lot since the point.
Not not 3. OK, thanks to everybody who sent
in questions. We'll rifle through these.
The Waffle Irish League podcasts say what's the best product with
a cup of tea. I like what they've done.
There isn't just said biscuit. They're opening up to other
things because there are going to be, you know, dirty perverts,
a dairy like crisps for tea. I mean, that's horrible, isn't
it? You have like a wee.
Yeah, Crisp shouldn't really be, no.
No, no, no, no, it was April. I mean, I'm going to say, well,
product toast, Toast and tea is a very, very good combination.
It also works at pretty much any time of the day.
So we're calling it toast and tea.
Toast and tea, you say? Tea and toast and toast.
Yeah, yeah, I maybe say tea and toast too, although I don't have
butter anymore, so I miss the like I miss the days of just
nice soft white bread with a lot of butter.
Nowadays I have gluten free brown bread with honey and jam.
So the honey and jam kind of pimps it out a bit, but it's
it's not, it's just not the same, quite the same.
But if we were going to say biscuit, honestly one of the
best biscuits and it's never really broke into the mainstream
and become like a staple biscuit like you will.
It's a bit like, it's like Frank Ocean, you know, everybody knows
it's good. It does all the major festivals,
like it's going to be in all the major shops.
But it's just not, it's, it's like like your mum and dad don't
know, don't know. But Fox's Vanessa.
Fox's Vanessa biscuits, like buttery biscuit, 2 bits of
butter, like a finger of buttery biscuit with a thin layer of
chocolate in the middle. Do you know the ones I'm talking
about? The ones you mean.
See if you're going to have those, put them in the fridge.
I just remember my my nanny. Best get in the fridge.
Some biscuits in the see when you go on holiday, you know
those like chocolate sandwich biscuits like they're circular.
You get them in like a big, big like cylinder, like a like a
paper cylinder and they're they're too.
They're with this side. They're like giant Oreos, but
like, but it's like. BN really happy faces.
Exactly like BNS, but they're circular.
So you would have Spain, France, whenever you get these.
See those put those in the fridge and when that chocolate
is cold, my friend, you'll not regret it.
But go on Skyscanner and have a look the flights to like Malaga
or somewhere and let's let's get us over because they're
incredible. But in terms of biscuits,
digestive is good, rich tea is good.
I've gone very mainstream there. I'm open to.
Yeah, rich tea under those rich teas.
Probably chocolate fingers. Chocolate fingers, yes, but you
know you're not dipping, are you?
There is a school of thought that if you bite the end off of
a chocolate finger, yeah, both ends, put that in the tea and
use it as a straw. I've heard this.
See, that's that. To me, that's controversial.
That's very immature. Like, that's a bit like people
who go, I have chips from my Mcflurry.
Fuck off, dickhead. I like, actually like it.
Yeah, I dip the chips into my fuck up.
Fuck up. Oh yeah.
So is that a no? I've done that, yeah.
You've done it because you. You.
On occasion. Done like say at some point when
you're younger, that's such a, that's such a, you know, you're
15, you're over the group of mates and there's girls there
and you say that. Let me just, this is what I do.
You're like, I am the guy who dips chips and I I'm fucking,
I'm mental. I'm mental.
You know, you Fast forward 15 years, you're still doing that.
You're what's called unemployed. Patrick Neil says, would you
rather eat a kilogramme of cheese every day or a kilogramme
of raw chicken every week? How much is a kilogramme?
One KG. So maybe like less than less
than a cup full. It's hard for me to work out
what a kilogramme is because I've benched like 5-6 hundred.
I don't really know how much one would be.
It's a. Reasonable line like.
If you eat a kilogramme of raw chicken, if you eat kilogramme
raw chicken, you get sick, right?
Yeah, guaranteed you get sick or.
Yeah, right. Well, then cheese, even though
I've got a dairy allergy. It's going to be either way.
Either way the result is I'm shitting.
I'm shitting either way. I mean whatever they kept
kilogramme cheese every day or a kilogramme raw chicken every
week. Neither, neither.
Gareth Hannah says are you, are you a green tea man and if so
what's your favourite flavour? Yes, I am a green tea man and I
should drink more green tea. I probably have two 3 cups a
week. I like green tea but I do feel
like if I'm out ordering it in like Cafe, it's a waste of
money. Tea will always feel like it's
worth a bit of money to me, but green tea is literally hot water
and just a wee bag in it, you know?
I'd say it's just like, well it's just that I feel like I'm
not getting banged from a buck, so in the house I'll be more
likely to have green tea. I like green tea, but you can't
have it really with stuff. Yeah, for the longest time I
didn't realise that green tea has more caffeine in it than a
cup of tea like regular tea. I always thought that it was
just I have one. Caffeine I have one, Caffeinate
ones. See, I like caffeine.
And I was always like, now what's the point in drinking
that green tea? And then someone said there's
more caffeine. In it, is caffeine an actual
thing, like a like a Could you hold caffeine in your hand?
You can have like pure caffeine. Can you?
Like. So it's like science.
Yeah, I think I remember doing something like this in single
award science and it was like a white powder and that wasn't
something. Award science and just to make
me feel shit. Well, I did Single word science,
single award. The worst?
Well. What's the best I did double
word? Triple award trip.
That you did single triple award.
Make your mind. You did single triple award.
What do you eat in GCSE? Next, R4A's and 4C's which is a
widespread. That is a rangy buffet, my
friend. 4B's, 4C's and AD. Fuck you, yes.
Hey man, we're all in the same room now.
Christopher Lynn says Lorne or the Kragen.
I mean, it's a very, very geographically specific
question. See, even though I slag learn
off no words bad or good, there's no place in the world
that's bad or good. Everywhere is just it has good
bits and has bad bits. The Kragen's in Derry.
I've never been to the Kragen. I've been to Derry.
I used to live in Derry I. Used to live in Derry for two
years but I went back there a couple of years ago for an
event. There's a place called the
Bunker if you heard of this. The Bunker no.
And there it's like an underground car park, but the
user for like music gigs. It's cool, but we stayed in a
few minutes, stayed in an Airbnb, you know, just something
cheap and cheerful for the night.
Just the place to put her heads down and you know, come back on
the train the next day. Was in the Kragen and it was
basically a crack then and throughout the night like a guy
was getting put out of his house just right beside our Airbnb.
Not saying that's what all the Gregens like, but just are my
anecdotal experience. When?
He said cheap and cheerful. It was the sort of place it was
that cheap. They gave you £25 to stay in it?
Pretty much, yeah. Lauren, I like Lauren.
I had a pleasurable experience going up there on tour last
year. Me and Aaron Butler went up,
went to a nice diner, like an American diner type type
restaurant just out of the town in a retail park and it was 7
out of 10 experience overall. Ella says.
Hit us with your favourite anti politicians scandal.
Well, I have a few to choose from.
I don't think I really like any of them because the reality of
it is like it should be like running the country.
So when they're doing when you're like, ah, you bloody
bastard, you know that that's time where they could be like, I
don't know, fixing the health service.
So I don't know. I mean, everyone went mad for
the Irish Robinson one. Obviously that's a lot of
people's go to actually went to school.
The guy who she had the affair with was in my class and someone
said to me after like around the time somebody went, did he seem
like that sort of fella who what is the personality trait where
you go? I'm going to get it when he
grows up, he's going to have an affair with the first minister's
wife. But he did.
I mean, I said I called that years before.
I said trust me, mark my words, he will go on the have an affair
with the Harris Robinson. I can tell by the way he held
his pen. That was a big I mean the if
you're saying favourite, you probably mean like, what's the
one I like I hated the most? See, seeing all honesty, right,
This is an unpopular opinion, but this that's what this
podcast is. It's honesty.
We're just we're having a talk with TI am absolutely not mad at
all the M Paisley junior stuff. And I'm no fan of M Paisley
Junior, but the way he just like goes on holiday to the Maldives,
lives it up, gets paid to go over, stays in luxury.
And the fact that he repeatedly goes and does this sorting fun.
Good luck. Because everyone who's slagging
them off for that is acting like, no, I no, if I no, if that
was me, no. Listen, if you were offered a
fucking half price ticket to Karen Ryan, you'd do.
If you were offered a discount meal on the standing line, you'd
be over and over in M&D's theme park having a great time on your
company expense. And I get that his company
expense is all of our money, but fuck it, fuck it.
See if see if you can if you can chance your arm and get away
with stuff. Good luck to you.
He went ask him that. He have a brilliant time.
I bet he had a brilliant time. His town speaks volumes.
His town. But yeah, he's from Olive.
So I would also like a politic like he.
He's not my constituency. Whatever.
I wouldn't vote for him, but I like the idea that my politician
has a good vitamin D levels because he's going to be on
form, you know what I mean? Like I'd say when he came back
from the Maldives, if you ask him for anything, if you live in
this constituent, he'd be like, yeah, no worries.
I'm having an argument with neighbour about about the height
of offence. Fuck it, we'll get the fence
taken out in. We're looking in.
We're looking to have a wrestling ring built in the town
centre. Ballymena here.
Consider it done. You know, he'd be open the
ideas. I like people that are, you
know, he's a, he's a chancellor. So fair play to Matthew, Smith
says. Would you rather get the
coronavirus or play right wing back a clock away?
Again, a very niche and particular question.
I think he's referring to when my football team played clock a
couple of weeks ago and we we got stuffed and I actually
wasn't even playing right wing back.
So that's big volumes with my performance.
So what I would I rather get the coronavirus to play right wing
back a clock away. Well, probably coronavirus
because I keep playing right wing back because you have to do
way more running because you're playing in the in between
defence and midfield. So I'd happily play right back
or right wing, but right wing back up and down the channel,
not worth it. So probably coronavirus, as long
as I knew, like, it would be swayed, like as long as I'm just
in bed for a couple of days, it'd be all right, Darren
Fullerton says. Local journalist Darren
Fullerton says, Like most other moderately seen people I know,
do you subconsciously mark yourself out of 10 when you look
in the mirror? An average Joe Spectrum could be
anywhere between 3.5 and 6. But what sort of ballpark are we
talking about when she and Todd steps in front of the mirror?
And that's been liked. Just that question has been
liked on Twitter by two people. So, you know, people are looking
forward to the response here. And you guys are smiling here.
I'm locked on the phone for this one.
We'll take we'll take away second answer this.
So Darren's saying most people when they look at themselves in
the mirror, think about assigning themselves a mark
between 1:00 and 10:00. I don't do that.
I don't do that because some days you could feel like you're
A at 10. Some days we all know guys, you
could feel like a nine. So I, I, I don't, I don't give
myself a number. I give myself an adjective.
I look in the mirror. Some days I'm like dweeb.
Well, and other people are saying it too, you know, and
some days I look in the mirror and I just go, whoa, who is that
guy? And then I realise it's me, you
know, I'm, I'm right. Here's the thing.
I looks wise out of 10, right? I'm a comedy 11.
It's just the way it is. I don't make the rules.
But out of 10, when it comes to comedy, I'm an 11.
No, the good thing about that is I'm an 11.
The bad thing about that is I'm a real life 7.
We can deny it. We can, we can debate it.
But like with comedy, I look, people be like, this is that, is
that a fucking Hilfiger model, right.
People are like, do you, are you modelling for Hilfiger right
now? In real life, I, I look like a
Victorian butcher's son and I, I don't know what I mean by that,
but you know what I mean by that.
At the same time, you know exactly what I meant.
Like I look like in Victorian times the local butcher would be
my dad and I work in the butcher's place, but I'm not
really like getting involved in anything like the Butch.
Like I do the cash register for the butcher.
Petty Farthing please, for your ribs.
But in comedy, I'm a fucking knock guy.
Let's go Mr Loma. And there's more for comedians
than it does from I mean, like, honestly, comedy on top of the
mountain. OK, Like, how does he look?
How does he look like a female Russian power athlete and also
like a hot librarian. I don't know, real life, kind
average, not real life, honestly.
Like I probably say, I mean, I'm at least to seven on a good day,
at least to seven. I could be in it, but I'm not
like, here's the thing, when you break me down, I do, yes.
I've got weird fingers. My ears are probably slightly on
the big side. One of my eyes is actually
probably bigger than the other one.
My nose is broken, so it's slightly out of shape.
I have a big hit, like physically have a weird shaped
head and I've got really, really long arms.
But but I move quickly to get away from that.
You know, I never really stay in the same place for that long
like because if people really worked on my face for Quasimodo,
but I like to just stay in people's periphery, you know, I
mean, so I'm always just doing that.
But if, if, if you maybe got me face on for seven seconds, you'd
vomit. You'd just be sick.
That's why I'm always on the move.
So yeah, to sum up, comedy, 11 out of 10, real life 7.3 to
maybe 8.1. I don't know, Like sometimes
I'll pop an outfit on holiday and you'll go.
It doesn't. Is that our door?
I hope not. No one's ever knocked our door
before. You did tell people on the very
first podcast that where exactly we are geographically.
Did I? I said what we're above.
Yeah, that's assume. So we're now about to get
murdered, basically. Yeah.
Be good for writings. It will.
It would be real. Like if someone can't.
Hopefully they took the time to lift the media out of both of
our recorders and then. Yeah, if you come in to kill us,
upload the pod. Yeah, upload the pod does that.
OK, I got more questions. What what the what do you think
I would be able to? Umm, I'm just real life.
I'm more admiring. I can.
Admire in the fact that whenever like your career teacher sat you
down, it's like you know, what are your skills?
You were more scoping out the competition and go what field
could I go into where I could really excel and looks.
Well, I was either going to. Write comedy.
Yeah, I had to go. Into a field where I was going
to stand that looks why. So I was either going to be a
stand up or a Warhammer expert, you know?
So what do you say? Umm.
We're friends, we're friends. Yeah, so I, so I can take, I'll,
uh, point to. .1 I think you were closer to the mark with
your first your first real life. Real Life 7.
Set on right, Yeah, we are afraid I'm not going to be
reagent here and you're going to say 7.
I don't feel like we've known each other long enough to have
this conversationship. You're right.
OK, Barry Mullen says what's the best way to make a cup of tea?
And we go tea bag in kettle. Just boil.
I say just boil. Give a 30 seconds.
I don't, I don't still want to hear the kettle.
Bubble tea bag in, water into that.
Dip your tea bag. At no point should the tea bag
still be in when the milk is in. Dip your tea bag open to the
floor after dip your tea bag 12 to 15 times.
Don't. Don't be in a rush either.
Press it against the side, get the last of that tea out.
Throw the tea bag into the bin, don't put it in the sink because
that's just lazy. And then go over as you're
pouring your milk and stir because that's going to give you
a better indication of what the overall colour is going to be.
And then boom, you're done. I think we touched on this in
the previous episode, but a bit of milk while the tea bag is
still in, Hmm. No, not for me.
You just. They might, yeah.
Basically, they're the same way as you, but I tend not to give
it as much aggressive stern. I like to just let it sit and.
You let the bags. Go through and then I do do the
we squeeze at the end against the side and then.
Sometimes when I see people not do the squeeze at the end, I
think, ah, we can never truly be friends.
Yeah, You know, Aaron Harrison says, talk about the mysteries
around ice cream vans, how they make their money, why they play
their tune late at night. Or do we already know the answer
for this already? Look, there isn't the mystery
around ice cream vans. That doesn't apply to all ice
cream vans. But all I'm going to say is I
remember an ice cream van he used to drive about the estate
out the road, and he sold everything bar ice creams.
Like, if you wanted a 99, he couldn't help you.
But if you wanted like a bottle of Cleanse vodka or a Man United
shirt with Shearer on the back, give him a shout.
And Sheer didn't even play from Onion.
I don't understand. Not to him.
Once I was like, why does this have Sheer and I in the bag?
He don't play from Onion. And he goes, don't worry about a
kid. He will.
And he never did. You know, I was like, why would
you have inside informations, transfer data into the Premier
League? You're an ice cream man.
But look, ice cream man, ice cream man are going to be
something that we will be very, very sad whenever they're
forgotten, you know, when you don't have the local ice cream.
Yeah, there's there's mystery around ice cream man.
Why are they pumping out like selling ice cream?
Like word. Obviously that noise is to get
the kids out going to buy ice cream.
But I like it when ice cream men have I wonder could bring this
up. I remember I love it when ice
cream men have like a remix of a song, but it's played in the ice
cream style, the ice cream man van style ice cream van song
remix. So this kind of music, that's
the DJ that made that work. He's worried that he's worried
that people are going to make up.
Yeah, ice cream. I mean, the ice cream almost
great. Although, yes, a lot of time
when I was a kid, when the ice cream one came, I would have
gotten ice cream often, but I would also have liked it.
I would have got a Mars bar too. We probably have the same ice
cream, man. There wasn't like rival ice,
rival ice cream. Man.
And we asked him for you to shoot something.
He was he. That wasn't my original ice
cream, man. He was my ice cream man.
He was a great ice cream man. And but, but then it wasn't him.
I think he took a bit of time out of the ice cream game.
Like he, he, he. He to me is the original Mr
Whippy and he was an ice cream purist.
Did anybody call it the Pokémon? The Pokémon.
Oh yeah. We never really had that.
The Pokémon, Well, you went to my friends I sent by the Claire
once and he called it the Pokémon.
I was like. And that was just his uncle.
Yeah, Pokémon's coming around to give you a 69.
No ice cream sold by. Can I get a 99?
Take away 30 and you can get it. Umm, Chris Gullier says 3
podcasts in and I don't know what tea bags you use.
Three, three dates in. I don't even know what you work
out. So my question is, what tea bags
do you use? How long is the tea bag?
Look, you asked a little too many questions there.
Umm, but the brand I use, we have talked about this.
Yeah, I use this was on Sam's one Petley, umm, Nambari
Panjana. Umm, there's no tea bags I'm
against. Roberts, eh, Look this up after
I remember Sam's Nigerian Roberts tea, I think it actually
is a thing. I don't think it's Nigerian, I
think it's Kenya. We should.
Probably give them a text with that.
Yeah, public apology. Chris says also for the podcast,
it's pronounced Guyler, Chris Guyler.
Hey, Chris, I don't give a fuck. So just making you aware of
that. Peter, how am I doing?
Sorry, Chris Gulliver, Peter Walker says.
Who do you think will win in a Mike Tyson versus Tyson Fury
fight to Tyson V Tyson? I mean, Tyson Fury.
Mike Tyson's pretty old now he's retired.
He's had a lot of punches to the head he's but let's just he's a
bit of a character and Tyson Fury's like potentially the best
heavyweight. He has the best heavyweight
around at the minute. We definitely win the fight, but
them both in their prime, be good to see, be two different
styles and be good to see. But I don't know.
I was going to get up for the fight.
That was my plan. Buy it on BT box office because
I'm tired of watching shitty streams.
Buy it, turn my phone off, get up for it.
But BT Sport didn't want my money, wouldn't let me buy it.
So I just watch it on YouTube the next morning.
Jimmy Gordon says what's the worst or most disgusting thing
you'd be willing to do? For a small fortune, I'd
probably gig for a paramilitary. If it depends.
If people didn't find out about it I'd do a gig for a
paramilitary or maybe some sort of like terrorist type guy at
the BET. Like not locally though, because
you don't want that look, but like if there was like an
international. Terrorist conferences that you
would get invited to. What would you mean?
Would I do it if? Yeah.
Is that what you think would make the?
Function like I take oil money, you know, you know, people are
like Saudi Arabia, the human rights record.
I wouldn't you know the the slag like WWE for going over there
boxers for going over there, £200 for 20 minutes.
Yeah, I did, not a problem and I wear the flag or I'm double them
fee and I would. Dermot Wallace says if you make
a cup of tea and forget about it, is it acceptable to reheat
in the microwave? What we can do there is move on.
We can move on and we can pretend that that didn't happen.
I think that's for the best. Seek help, Dermot.
Claire O'Neill says on Instagram says could you please follow the
Shamrock Tenors? And you've tweeted them.
The Shamrock Tenors are cruise ship singers.
They let me see in 1890 one disappears.
So like so the quick to answer the question, can I follow them
without being harsh? No purely because I only follow
comedians on Instagram and like meets, you know what I mean?
Like actual meets. But I can certainly say that the
Shamrock Tenors there have very nice waist coats.
I like their look. I probably like their music.
If they do a lot of traditional Irish music, I'd probably like
it. If the Shamrock Tenors were
playing in the Cafe below us at half 11, I'd get a slice of
carrot cake and then stay and watch them.
So I would give them a dolph of the cap, but I shan't give them
a follow Claire. But I like that you brought them
to my attention. Ruined, Tumulty says.
I don't know if this podcast question.
How's it going, Madam? Having the 18th birthday, I know
I should read this because he's given all the details.
Would you be up for dinner? Something OK, you made a little
bit one flying Irishman says. When people you barely know or
talk about put up those doing a Facebook friends clear out post
and they real and you realise you make the cup.
At first you think great, I'm so cool.
Then you end up thinking why did this person keep me as their
friend? They're definitely creeping on
me and loving it. Yeah.
I mean people are very dramatic when they're like, I'm doing a
call, that's it. Too many fucking rats on here.
Too many fucking snakes on Facebook putting their fucking
fat nose in my business. Me and my boy are just trying to
fuck and me and my boy are just trying to fuck and raise these
ferrets and have a happy life. Don't need you fuck get me?
You can't do anything in this fucking town for fucking bastard
to pay eyes telling everyone about it.
I'm clearing us all out and underneath it some, some girl
writes just right, missus. She's looking to be kept on
100%. She's looking like she knew she
was at risk, so she's trying to make make peace there.
Yeah, I think it's funny when people do that.
It takes very little nowadays for I barely use Facebook, but
it takes very very little for me to delete someone from Facebook
now like. It's a cool thing that I've
discovered when I'm working at home.
Like it's like it's a Chrome extension, Facebook news feed
suppressor or something that's called and it suppresses the
news feed. So you only get your messages
and notifications. And it's really handy that you
don't end up like, you know, if you're trying to be productive.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't end up seeing and then
looking at something like that and going.
For what's she? Talking about something like
that, something. Called Jimmy.
Any good movies? Yeah, there there is good movies
mate. Yeah, good movies have been made
before and but I like right or wrong.
I deleted someone last week, someone that works, let's just
say in local broadcasting because, and I might be the Dick
head there here, but they sent me a message saying give this
video a like obviously send it around loads of people delete,
delete, delete. I don't know if that's wrong,
but I just don't like that and that intrusiveness.
I'm only I want friends on Facebook who are real friends
who are just on the same plane. Like let's just relax here.
Let's look at each other's holiday photos.
Let's just let's see what's going on.
Put up a picture of you've been on holiday.
I like it. Let me just let me see what
you're up to that kind of thing, But don't don't ask me to
specifically do things. Also, don't ever like, don't
ever invite me to like anything. I pro I'm 31.
I probably like about 50 of things.
I'm keeping it at that. I'm not.
I've no space in my life to like any more things.
I like what I like. The last thing that got in
through the net, Mushrooms. I never liked mushrooms.
Couple of weeks ago I went, let me see what's happening here.
Tried them. I like mushrooms.
Added to the list. Mushrooms of the 50th thing I
like. I'm done.
Yep mate, that is not a podcast question.
Also, stop messaging me, McKay says.
Not a podcast question, not a podcast question.
Here we go. Yep, we've got a question from
Matthew Myrnan. He says for this week's big
question. Have you ever skied?
I mean, I don't know why you're curious about this, Matthew, I I
can only assume you're going to ski trip yourself, but have I
ever skied? Yes, I have skied twice and I
don't mind coming out and saying it.
I'm a tremendous skier. Like I went skiing in first year
and 2nd year in school back in the days of the Celtic Tiger
when everyone was just going on any trip you could think of.
I remember 1 break time we went in a safari in Uganda, right?
And but yes, I've skied twice and I really, really took to.
I really took to and I was like, I'm going to go skiing every
year and I haven't been since I was 13.
Go skiing. There's so much involved.
I definitely go skiing again. In fact, when I was in Dubai a
couple of years ago, I went skiing an indoor mall and that
was unbelievable. I thought it was going to be
shit. It was incredible and I was
still really good at it. Like there's loads of things I
try and do and I'm not get out like try to learn guitar
bullshit. But skiing is just something I
just picked up. And then I went in the indoor
thing in Dubai and there was no one else really there because
it's an indoor skiing mall in Dubai.
And I was just like, as good as I used to be.
Maybe I should be a skier. Yeah, I should be a skier.
Yeah, skiing is great. Ski trips or.
Brit, have you either you've been skiing Never.
No, I've been indoor on a snowboard.
I went to bargaining. At Mount Dover.
At the height of it. And yes.
The best? Thing about ski trip is I'll
pray ski so like you're in the middle of nowhere, your snow
just fucking snow. You can't get round places and
they usually have like we bar. So like late afternoon, you go
for a beer, go ahead, go home, get changed out of your ski
gear. Go out that night, hit the
slopes the next morning. It's really like refreshing the
next day. But I remember going to school
trips and we can I tell you a story?
Play that desk. Let me just make.
Sure. Because we'll finish on that.
What time are we out there? Yeah, just over an hour.
I just don't know. OK, I have a couple other.
Questions there, but I'll leave them the next.
Week and I'll tell you guys this story right we were on this ski
trip in France. I'm going to know more specifics
than that and there was a guy we used to get at the continental
breakfast. We used to get these like wee
fruit bars. So they're like wee mini cakes,
like a wee a little tiny slice of cake and a plastic wrapper.
But they were horrible. So a guy who was in my year kept
one and just had it in his hand after breakfast.
And we were about 12 storeys up in this like ski hotel.
And down below us there was like a a wee St in this wee town and
had a curb, a small road. And then the other side there
was just like minds and minds of snow.
And we were all like, for some reason looking out like somebody
was like, look over there and blah, blah.
This guy was like, I'm going to just get this fruit loaf and
just wing it out the window, which is the most 13 year old
boy thing of all time. He's going to throw us out the
window and everyone's like, all right, So he gets a fruit bar
and he, he just, he doesn't just like drop it out, he throws it
down. Now we're at least 13 storeys
up. Could have been more.
And he won it down. And then he walks away from the
window laughing. Some people then look out the
window. I, I, I swear this is true.
An old lady is lying on her back in the street with a bag of
shopping down by her side and a wee dog beside her on Elite.
He had completely cleaned her out with his fruit loaf bar.
And then somebody else goes back and looks.
I might have been me. Someone else goes back and looks
and I swear there is a group of people on the street pointing up
and it was left. They were pointing to our exact
room. And I remember us all coming
away from the window, closing the window, leaving the room,
running down the like, you know, a common area just to pretend to
chill out. And I do not know whatever
happened to that woman? I don't know if he killed her.
Yeah, RIP. But RIP.
I don't think he killed her. I think he just fucking knocked
her out with a fruit loaf. But yeah, that's, that's a
burden I've been carrying for a long time.
And if the French PSNI, which are are called the PPS, I, if
they want to ask me any questions, I'll tell you that
because I remember the guy did it.
I'm prepared to give me his name.
But yeah, we should go skiing. We'll get the Patreon up and
running in a couple of weeks, get people to send us monthly
donations. And we'll just perform this
great trip and we'll go through it all with like head cameras.
That's right and. Just release it as as content.
Guys. That was this week's Tea with Me
podcast. If you'd like to do this favour,
you can go on Apple Podcasts. You can write and review the
podcast. We'll just, we'll just have a
nice time. We'll get in the iTunes charts.
We'll have a tea party. Your, your friends will be
invited. Your children will be invited.
Bring your ferret. All right.
Thanks very much for listening. See you next week.