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I'm Michael. 
Che and I'm Colin Jose, and 

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we've got a little secret. 
Actually, it's a pretty big 

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secret. 
Well, now you got to give the 

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people something. 
I'm not saying a word. 

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Oh, then people will know to 
tune in. 

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Come on, tell them a little. 
Like how we're hosting of comedy

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events streaming only on 
Peacock, exactly how it's called

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New York After Dark and it's a 
comedy show that only features 

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drop in comic. 
Boom, you nail. 

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Into Michael Chase phone 
numbers. 

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Whoa, whoa, whoa. 
Hey, hey, hey. 

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New York After Dark. 
It's some kind of comedy thing. 

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And it's streaming now only on 
Peacock. 

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You love it? 
I'm. 

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Going to make the same joke I 
made just a minute ago when we 

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tried to record a podcast for 
the first time. 

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And then I was like, here, let's
just start again. 

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I was just saying there. 
And fun fact about the guy who 

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invented the microphone, his 
real name was Michael Reform. 

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Thank you very much. 
Michael Refone also sounds like 

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maybe a guy in like a Martin 
Scorsese film back in the day 

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who rotten everyone? 
Michael Refone, the rat. 

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Speaking of Michaels, I've got 
I've got Big Mike here with me 

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sitting perched on a stood like 
Rod Stewart. 

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I've also got Dan Quick. 
Who? 

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Dan, I know if the podcast we 
recorded without you has already

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gone out where I was talking 
about your height. 

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It has. 
Yeah. 

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It's gone. 
And you heard it, yes. 

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Did you have any strong feelings
on that like good or bad? 

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We we offended that I and by the
way, because I said that I've 

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never really seen you standing 
up. 

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Yeah, I wasn't sure about that 
part. 

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Well, no, I know I have seen you
stand up. 

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I just can't. 
I can't connect you with a 

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height and like even though I 
do, you're sitting in that 

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chair, I still don't know if 
you're like 5-4, maybe 6-8. 

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So what? 
What is your official height? 

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Officially 511. 
Yeah, but unofficially. 

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Unofficially 663. 
You're making yourself 6 inches 

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bigger. 
Michael's calling himself Big 

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Mike. 
Everyone's just trying to get 

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way more St cred on this 
podcast, but there it is. 

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I'm wearing a Jelen. 
I'm perfectly all right with 

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that. 
It's acceptable. 

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A lot of the time I look at 
Jeles and I think as long as 

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it's like a light gilet and it 
looks like it's supposed to be a

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gilet, that's fine. 
But it's when it looks like a 

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just a coat without sleeves, 
that's when I go. 

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That's stupid. 
And this I feel like is maybe 

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virgin on the edge of both of 
those things. 

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But nobody, nobody's mad about 
it. 

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Zippers. 
Welcome to this episode. 

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Before we get properly into it, 
I'd like you to do me a favour 

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if if you can, if you don't have
hands, This one's kind of 

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understandable. 
You want to take a take a back 

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seat on this. 
If you would like to go to Apple

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Podcasts and read and review tea
with me, that'll be great. 

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Because the more people that 
give it like a nice five star 

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review and say something dead 
on, the more that happens, the 

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more the rain forest the saved. 
OK. 

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And I don't want anyone to quote
me on that or ask me any more 

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questions about it, but it's 
like an unofficial thing. 

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We have gone with the 
Conservation Society of the rain

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forest and that is a real place 
conservation of CCOT coder. 

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We've been working with those 
guys pretty closely. 

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And then look, you leave us five
star review. 

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All I'm saying is a chimpanzee. 
It's going to see Wednesday. 

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So I'm not by the way, I'm not 
That probably makes it sound 

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like if you don't, I'm going to 
kill chimpanzees on Wednesdays. 

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I'm not going to kill 
chimpanzees. 

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Something struck me on the way 
to this podcast after I tried to

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climb over a wall to get here 
because busy. 

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I parked near the podcast studio
and then I you guys don't need 

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to do this. 
But then I tried to hop a wall 

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to get over here thinking I was,
I don't know, 9. 

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And then I realised I'm 31 and 
there was just a woman looking 

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at me and I got a bit weird. 
But the do you know the law firm

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like just in the middle of the 
High Street here? 

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You're going to say the law 
against hopping over small 

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walls? 
28 years, it's, it's so 

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excessive. 
Just an age limit. 

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You just can't. 
My dentist used to always say to

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me even up until I was like in 
my mid 20s, I genuinely left his

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practise because of this. 
He used to say after any like 

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you know if they give you like 
the laughing gas or, or like 

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what do you call the stuff they 
give you in the dentist? 

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The gas and air, nitrous, 
nitrous Oxo sort of dentist, 

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Yeah. 
No, you know, like the dentist 

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guys. 
Anytime he did like a filling 

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for me or anything like that, he
used to say to me after and he 

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was being serious, he would go, 
don't we climb in any trees? 

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What? 
I'm 26. 

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Don't we climb in any trees? 
Oh well, that's my drive home 

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ruined because it's going to 
pull over and totally more 

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Forest Park and get up a 
Redwood. 

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Hold on, if he didn't want you 
climbing trees, he was letting 

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you drive home. 
No. 

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Well, my mommy was driving me 
fucker. 

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Yeah. 
So on the way here, I looked in 

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the window of this, I shouldn't 
have said law. 

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I mean there isn't that many law
firms in Hollywood and there 

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isn't definitely isn't that many
on my way here. 

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But all I'm saying is this, I 
used to work with this girl and 

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I'm trying to figure out if it's
her that works there that, but I

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don't know if it is. 
And if it is, she might look 

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slightly different. 
But then again, a lot of young 

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women nowadays are looking 
different. 

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If you, if you, if you, if you 
understand. 

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So what I'm saying is you might 
see a young woman in Belfast in 

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2011 and then you might see her 
in 2020 and she might look very,

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very different thanks to 
science. 

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Right. 
The they're all getting the lips

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done. 
OK, all right, they're getting 

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the lips done. 
And you'll find it's a lot of 

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groups of friends. 
They all have it. 

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So a lot of them are getting 
that this. 

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Is far more normal than where my
head was going. 

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What were you thinking? 
You were thinking, I was 

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thinking like. 
You think for yourself and 

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Nicolas. 
Cage told me it took me a taller

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and like, you know, well, 
extreme. 

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Dancer. 
Yeah, that procedure done. 

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I recommend it to anybody. 
Who's no I'm trying to figure 

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out if this is this guy I used 
to work with because I need to 

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figure out if I should do a wave
or not. 

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Because if it is her, I'm 
walking past pretty much every 

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day and not waving and she's 
going. 

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There's a guy I used to work 
with. 

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Bear in mind though, she's not 
waving at me. 

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But if it isn't her, I just need
to know so I can move on. 

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But if it is her, that's 
interesting because she she 

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looks different. 
OK, And that's all I'm going to 

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say. 
Park it there, leave it at that.

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And the reason I'm paranoid 
about that is because we were in

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home bird Cafe couple of that's 
where this week's tea is is 

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from, but they're not paying us.
So that's not dwell on that. 

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Sometimes they give us the 
discount because we're we're 

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within the same office building.
But, and we're supposed to 

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technically that's good, but I 
don't really ask for it. 

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It's a bit awkward if you have 
to ask for. 

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Discount, but no. 
But they said about it. 

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By the way, you qualify for this
thing. 

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Just make sure you mention it. 
I think I mentioned it once or 

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twice and then I hoped it would 
continue as an automatic thing. 

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You know what I mean? 
We're like, if you've 

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established it once or twice, 
that discount, then it just 

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always gets. 
But I think now I've left it too

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long. 
They. 

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Should give you a card. 
What some kind of? 

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Yeah. 
But then the money did 

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manufacture the card would 
probably offset the discount 

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you're going to you're going to 
ultimately get, we get discount 

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in a new place at the place 
that's near us. 

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We do talk to me over 
percentages. 

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Don't know yet, but I'll figure 
it out. 

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Yeah, OK. 
In fact, I know what it costs 

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for a coffee, but I don't know 
what the original price was, so 

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I don't know what the discount 
is. 

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You know what I mean? 
Well anyway, I was in Humber a 

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couple of days ago. 
I thought I saw somebody. 

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I knew this person had their 
back to where I was sitting, so 

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I think they've spotted me. 
So I think I need to give a wave

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on my way out because I've left 
it too long to give a wave from 

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where I'm sitting. 
So it's like I'll do a goodbye 

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wave on my way past. 
So I walked over the table. 

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I don't know this person that 
well. 

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I walked over to the table leant
over and round them and waved 

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back at their face and said see 
ya at that on the yeah. 

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I realised I never met this 
person in my entire life. 

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Now this person was probably 
young enough to maybe 

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potentially be aware of who I 
am. 

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OK, because I do say a lot of 
times do not know who I am. 

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This person looked like they may
know who I was. 

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So maybe when I walked in this 
person was like, there's a 

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dickhead those videos. 
Then they're leaving the 

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conversation going and he came 
right up to my face, lent around

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it with his big moon head and 
went see ya. 

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What a weird thing to do. 
So yeah, I need to figure that 

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out. 
I've been thinking about this 

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thing recently, but I've got 
loads of listeners questions 

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this week. 
So we'll just we'll get properly

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stuck into them. 
But I've been stuck in a wee bit

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of a like a head swamp in the 
last couple of days because I 

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was reading this thing about how
do we know? 

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And maybe you 2 guys can help me
over this. 

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How do how do we know that we're
not just a projection of 

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somebody's mind? 
This is the like the brain in a 

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VAT theory. 
Like, how do you know that 

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you're not just a brain in a jar
somewhere and you know you 

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00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:50,600
think? 
Well, that's my question. 

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00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:54,560
That's my question to you. 
So basically the thing and I 

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don't know 1000% of it and bear 
in mind I got a EE in my science

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00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:03,080
GCSE double award. 
But we could just be somebody 

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00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:07,920
else's like dream or or a 
thought. 

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00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:13,520
Yeah, but heavy for a Tuesday, 
but we'll go for it, no? 

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So, yeah, it's a bit like, you 
know, when you're, you know, 

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00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:21,840
when you're in a dream and you 
go, this is, this is real, 

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00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,800
right? 
And the dream only lasts for 20 

200
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:28,240
seconds or two minutes or 20 
minutes or whatever it is. 

201
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:34,080
Like, how do we know that this 
isn't just a bigger version of 

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00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:36,760
that and we're just in somebody 
else's dream? 

203
00:10:36,760 --> 00:10:39,280
But then again, if you're in 
somebody else's dream, you 

204
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,680
wouldn't control. 
Yeah, I think it's more likely 

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00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,920
that how do I know you're real? 
Well. 

206
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:48,360
You know. 
So you think you're convinced 

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00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,760
you're real? 
Absolutely. 

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00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:50,600
You don't know. 
I don't know. 

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00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,360
Yeah. 
Michael, like Mike, is he 

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00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:54,400
actually there? 
There's another fun one called 

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00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,760
Last Thursday ISM. 
Have you heard of this? 

212
00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,080
Last Thursday, ISM Yeah, No. 
Which is. 

213
00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:02,400
How do you know that everything 
didn't just pop into existence 

214
00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:04,480
last Thursday? 
Like, how do you know? 

215
00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:06,920
How do you actually physically 
know? 

216
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:08,920
But explain. 
That there's no, there's no, 

217
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,400
there's no way that you can. 
It's it's one of those. 

218
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:15,000
Unfalsifiable things, you know. 
But how do you know that that 

219
00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:17,360
that memory didn't just create 
itself last Thursday? 

220
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:21,280
Everything just came in. 
There's no like, you can't, you 

221
00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,560
can't prove it. 
You can't like physically. 

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00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,360
What about videos and all that 
kind? 

223
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,440
Of all invented last Thursday, 
everything just went last 

224
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:29,880
Thursday. 
What? 

225
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,800
About the dinosaurs. 
Yeah, last Thursday. 

226
00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:36,440
Last Thursday, Busy day. 
But the idea of being a 

227
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:43,800
projection, would you do we then
have to be our own projections? 

228
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:49,400
Like I know that I can't be a 
projection of your mind because 

229
00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,640
I'm making a decision to go like
this, but. 

230
00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:56,680
But in my head, my projection of
you would say something just 

231
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:57,800
like that. 
I don't know. 

232
00:11:57,800 --> 00:11:59,240
I know that I'm real, but you're
not real. 

233
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:02,600
Do you like? 
I feel that I'm real, yes. 

234
00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:09,760
The Truman Show, the film made 
me go this is me, this is me. 

235
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:13,920
And sometimes I honestly think 
like, you know, when you meet 

236
00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:19,760
like a full knockus, Sometimes I
think they they're, they've 

237
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:22,800
they've fucked up. 
No, sometimes I think you know 

238
00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:24,680
the way of like. 
Oh, like a glitch? 

239
00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:25,880
If you're. 
Away made a mistake. 

240
00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:28,320
Yes. 
And like a homeless person, like

241
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,040
tries to come up to you and grab
you, whatever. 

242
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,440
I think that's someone who's 
potentially trying to say to me,

243
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,320
get on. 
See, I like to see and go 

244
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,680
through. 
That I've definitely had the I 

245
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,360
don't know about the projection 
thing because I maybe don't 

246
00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:45,720
understand it that well, but the
Truman Show thing definitely, 

247
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:49,400
definitely I've thought of and 
I've also thought of this say 

248
00:12:49,480 --> 00:12:53,360
your mind is like the true say 
real life for me is the Truman 

249
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,600
Show. 
Sometimes I think you know the 

250
00:12:56,600 --> 00:13:00,240
way like you followed a touch of
friends from school or whatever.

251
00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:02,320
You don't see some phrases 
sometimes. 

252
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:06,240
I think they're an actor. 
And they must be raging that 

253
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:09,760
they're not in the show because 
they were such a big part of the

254
00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:13,240
show and now they're not in the 
show, but they are. 

255
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:15,040
Yeah. 
So they're just having to sit in

256
00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,560
the house and we have to be, we 
have to be in scenes, not going 

257
00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:20,360
to be in. 
Like, do you think if you make 

258
00:13:20,360 --> 00:13:23,120
plans with someone and you're 
like here, like next Thursday, 

259
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,400
let's go and do this? 
The person said, great, and I 

260
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:26,720
give a great performance in 
this. 

261
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,040
And then you're like, yeah, I 
can't make it. 

262
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,280
They're like, for fuck's sake, 
just sitting in a big trailer 

263
00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,600
somewhere. 
And the whole world knows and 

264
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,640
watches the Shane Todd Truman 
Show. 

265
00:13:35,680 --> 00:13:37,680
Yeah, drink. 
They have awards for those 

266
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:39,440
actors too. 
So there's like the you don't 

267
00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:42,040
know about. 
Oh, the dodgy thing about that 

268
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:44,960
is that somehow I would stumble 
across that award ceremony. 

269
00:13:45,880 --> 00:13:49,080
Not like the treatment show, 
he's in his own little bubble. 

270
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,680
Work but. 
There are people trying to tell 

271
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:54,480
them, tell them that it's real. 
So someone would book you to 

272
00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,000
host the award show. 
They're an insider. 

273
00:13:57,280 --> 00:13:59,600
They book you to host it. 
That's all you're. 

274
00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,120
No. 
Just footage of you. 

275
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:05,760
They couldn't negotiate the fee.
I'd end up like, mate, you need 

276
00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,640
the Hostess. 
How much are we talking? 

277
00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:11,240
Trust me, it's really important.
I'll put another one of it. 

278
00:14:12,120 --> 00:14:14,560
I think I could get stuck in his
own world just because he wanted

279
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:18,680
an extra £40. 
I mean, that's that's weird that

280
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,720
it's also weird thing if if I, 
if my life is the Truman Show, 

281
00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,840
right? 
You've been in it for about 16 

282
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:29,080
years, so you're a major, major 
character, you. 

283
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:31,280
Must be on great money because 
I'm only on yeah. 

284
00:14:31,720 --> 00:14:33,520
Starter money. 
You're a new character. 

285
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,520
Yeah. 
And then and but maybe there are

286
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:39,440
people who aren't actors in it. 
Maybe they're just people who 

287
00:14:39,440 --> 00:14:41,720
get paid that live in the world,
but they're actually not actors.

288
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,200
Maybe you were just being paid 
to live in the world. 

289
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,560
I'm like, hey, I met you. 
Really. 

290
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,040
Also, I'm like coming to this 
podcast. 

291
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:51,120
Maybe then you're, maybe you're 
taking acting lessons now and 

292
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,880
maybe you're getting a bit too 
big for your boots. 

293
00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:56,600
You know, maybe that happens to 
people because the actors know 

294
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:59,640
what they're coming in for. 
Maybe people like you who are, 

295
00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:01,800
although for all I know you are 
an actor and you're playing 

296
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,880
already. 
Ulster Studio Manager. 

297
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:05,640
I'm just really good at the 
acting. 

298
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,080
He did a great job man. 
I'm doing a great job. 

299
00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:11,080
I don't know, I just. 
Take it from me, an experienced 

300
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,760
veteran. 
Yeah, in the field you're doing 

301
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:14,720
really well. 
Yeah, like, and I think you 

302
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,600
maybe didn't even want to be an 
actor, but you've been in this 

303
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,760
for, although I think you've 
been in this for so long. 

304
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,040
I think that I was just in the 
room and somebody grabbed me and

305
00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:23,760
was like you're now his his 
friend and this can you. 

306
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:25,800
And I was like, what? 
I'm going from lunch. 

307
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,640
I think you're like Jesse out of
Breaking Bad. 

308
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,600
Like you become like all of a 
sudden you're like this big 

309
00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,480
actor in a show. 
You've been in it for years. 

310
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,560
It's a really popular show, but 
I don't think you would be good 

311
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,920
in other stuff. 
No, it's really hard to be low 

312
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,680
key. 
Like act low key. 

313
00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,840
Yeah, all the time. 
I'm not really an in your face 

314
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:44,520
kind of guy. 
You know, and how do you and all

315
00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:48,000
the actors I'm seeing on TV and 
film and stuff, are they real 

316
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,640
actors? 
Like I think all Robert De Niro,

317
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:53,880
Al Pacino and stuff, but are 
they just, are they playing 

318
00:15:53,880 --> 00:15:57,920
actors in my world? 
So what's Al Pacino's real name?

319
00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,200
Al Pacino Real. 
Name the actor, the players, Al 

320
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:01,000
Pacino. 
It's like. 

321
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,880
Clive Simpson, He's Clive 
Simpson. 

322
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:09,760
Like he's from, he's from Derry.
I have no idea if being serious,

323
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:13,320
right, If my life up until my 
husband, like the Truman Show 

324
00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,800
can, can I just go like I think 
I've been a good sport with it 

325
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:22,440
and can I not get out of it? 
Because if it is, just let me 

326
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,600
say, OK, I'm not going to sue 
anyone. 

327
00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:28,160
I'm not going to kick off. 
I'm not going to launch Law. 

328
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,440
And what would the world's 
entertainment do? 

329
00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:32,800
Like, no one would have any 
entertainment. 

330
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:35,200
The Truman Show was like the 
only show that everyone watched.

331
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,720
So then everyone makes on great 
money at the minute so he 

332
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,280
doesn't want. 
To give it up, I would say that.

333
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:43,040
Wouldn't been rebranded as yeah,
do you know it's funny if it is 

334
00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,320
true you 2 are sitting here 
being like yeah whatever in the 

335
00:16:46,320 --> 00:16:49,600
back here it's you're like. 
They're in our ears right now. 

336
00:16:49,600 --> 00:16:51,080
Go get them away from this 
topic. 

337
00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:54,200
Move on, move on. 
OK, well, we'll move on from 

338
00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:58,440
this. 
From this topic, I made a New 

339
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:02,240
Year's resolution. 
They don't have any New Year's 

340
00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:03,560
resolutions. 
Don't really believe in it, no. 

341
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:06,079
It's just one of those things. 
If it's something that you're 

342
00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:09,800
meant to do, you'll do it. 
Yeah, but sometimes you have to.

343
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,680
You have to properly make a 
point to go on. 

344
00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,319
I'm going to do this thing or 
not do this thing. 

345
00:17:14,319 --> 00:17:16,599
Yeah, the data is an arbitrary 
thing, though. 

346
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,520
I think it's just like I tried 
to do it. 

347
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:20,560
That's why I'm just raging. 
What did you try and do? 

348
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,720
Go on a diet and get healthy, 
but that didn't work. 

349
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,720
You're saying that like you're a
big fat mess sitting for there. 

350
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,240
You you look good. 
And I'm an actor. 

351
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,000
I remember. 
So I'm just telling you. 

352
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,600
I'm just, I'm just being 
contrary. 

353
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,960
They're paying me to be 
contrary. 

354
00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,080
Guy who's 1011 stone, but in 
reality you're 49 stone. 

355
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,920
You're such a good actor. 
Like a reverse fatsuit. 

356
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,240
They're just sucking me into 
this. 

357
00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:50,440
My New Year's resolution was to 
read more books, actually sit. 

358
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:55,640
And I like the idea that I'd sit
and read in a coffee shop and 

359
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,360
somebody would come up to me and
go, what are you reading? 

360
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,240
And I go, you know, while 
they're just waiting for a take 

361
00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:02,600
away or something and I go get 
the fuck out of my face. 

362
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:05,640
It's not your business. 
And then I'd go back to whatever

363
00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,640
I was reading because I used to 
read a lot whenever I was a kid.

364
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:13,760
Like I remember my mum got me, I
don't know if my mum got me 

365
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,120
there. 
So the book was just floating 

366
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:17,240
about the house. 
But there was a thing called the

367
00:18:17,240 --> 00:18:23,040
Children's Bible, which was like
a large, large Bible illustrated

368
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:26,040
for children. 
And like, I was never brought up

369
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:30,400
like I'm a mum or dad, anyone to
be in any way religious. 

370
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,480
Like we didn't go, none of us 
went to church or anything. 

371
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:34,320
I don't think anyone in the 
family does. 

372
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:37,120
And then I said that like with 
the mafia. 

373
00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:40,640
But then. 
But I remember getting this 

374
00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,960
book, I'm being well into it 
because I liked the stories. 

375
00:18:43,960 --> 00:18:45,440
So I was going to be like 6 or 
7. 

376
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,200
And I was like, as stories, 
these are brilliant. 

377
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:55,520
You know, they're like the blind
man, Jericho, the David versus 

378
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:59,400
Goliath, all that great stories.
But I and I was just taking them

379
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:01,480
for what it was. 
If you'd asked me if you'd have 

380
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,880
taken the time to ask me as a 
child and gone are you, are you 

381
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,720
like a young Christian who 
really into this, I'd have gone.

382
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:08,160
I'm not. 
I respect people's beliefs, but 

383
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,920
I'm enjoying these stories. 
But because this was such a big 

384
00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:12,240
book, it was taking me so long 
to read. 

385
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:15,960
I used to take it everywhere. 
So with hindsight, I look like a

386
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:19,640
weird child preacher who just 
walked away everywhere with my 

387
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,600
big large book to preach the 
Lord's name. 

388
00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:25,800
So I remember like I remember I 
used to just be really into 

389
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:29,240
reading and writing stories, I 
guess kind of do write stories 

390
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:31,520
still with sketches and stand up
and stuff. 

391
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,200
But I want to read more because 
I do. 

392
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:38,320
I do the calm story, nighttime 
stories. 

393
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,440
Oh yeah, what's that like? 
I've been looking at that. 

394
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,040
Right. 
So I would have always dismissed

395
00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:44,560
it. 
I mean, if you if you, what was 

396
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:48,200
it, right? 
It's basically an app, an app, 

397
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:52,040
an app that has like meditation,
music, all that kind of thing. 

398
00:19:53,080 --> 00:19:56,920
That's a pessimistic like. 
Whales making whale noises and 

399
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,600
that kind of. 
Yes, and sometimes on. 

400
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,400
Leaves and then whales making 
monkey noises as well and stuff.

401
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:04,000
So they're not created out of, 
but it just still sounds like 

402
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,840
whales. 
But what it has, yeah, it's like

403
00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:09,720
meditation, music, sounds of the
ocean, all that. 

404
00:20:10,480 --> 00:20:13,000
But then there's also like, 
rain. 

405
00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:16,040
Rain against the window. 
There's storm, there's all that 

406
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,920
kind of thing. 
And I would always have been 

407
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,960
very like, Nah, exactly like 
your look there. 

408
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:23,320
I was like, no. 
And then some people said like 

409
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,640
adult friends of mine, not that 
I have child friends. 

410
00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:28,720
Well, I've. 
Move on, move on. 

411
00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:30,400
I'm indifferent. 
I'm not like he's my mate or 

412
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,040
he's not my mate have kids. 
I like, you know what I mean 

413
00:20:33,040 --> 00:20:36,120
like, but I don't, but I just 
like them as in like a friend 

414
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:37,600
way, but I wouldn't really call 
them mates. 

415
00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:40,200
So I'm not really I'm going to 
like phone them up and go fancy 

416
00:20:40,200 --> 00:20:43,680
going out and doing something. 
If I want to socialise in a way 

417
00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:46,240
with each other from the 
straight away from the parents. 

418
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,480
First of all, how about the 
parent will come as well will 

419
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:53,240
come along as well. 
So that's what I'm saying 

420
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:54,680
basically. 
We can cut all that out, it's 

421
00:20:54,680 --> 00:20:56,480
fine. 
Don't leave it in just in case 

422
00:20:56,480 --> 00:21:00,520
they will bring me up on this, 
but they they have nighttime 

423
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:05,840
stories on this read by men and 
women for adults. 

424
00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:09,120
And if you'd come up to me, 
we've been friends here for 16 

425
00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:10,680
years. 
If you'd come up to me and what 

426
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:12,520
did you last night? 
You were I'd had an early night.

427
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:17,440
Just put a sleep story on. 
I would have roasted you until 

428
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:21,480
you were blackened, my friend, 
but I just stuck this on one 

429
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:22,560
night. 
So my wife has the AB. 

430
00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:25,520
I stuck it on one night. 
She said it with the nighttime 

431
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:31,080
stories and I put one on and it 
was Stephen Fry reading about 

432
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:35,160
the lavender fields of France. 
Jesus Christ. 

433
00:21:35,440 --> 00:21:37,800
He said about four words. 
And I was like, this is 

434
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,680
bullshit. 
This just totally got in the 

435
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:45,320
deepest sleep of all time and 
then Oh yeah. 

436
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,960
So we, we just had like you get 
like 2 free stories on it. 

437
00:21:48,240 --> 00:21:50,960
So we're listening to those. 
And then we just like bought the

438
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:55,440
library and it is brilliant. 
Like I usually maybe like once a

439
00:21:55,440 --> 00:21:59,600
week and the fun just play. 
Like in the room or do you have 

440
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:00,680
earphones in? 
Plays in the room. 

441
00:22:00,920 --> 00:22:02,680
You definitely could put 
earphones in, but plays in the 

442
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,200
room, Yeah. 
I can't sleep with headphones. 

443
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,800
See, I have to. 
I have to have something on. 

444
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,400
But my girlfriend's like a bad 
sleeper. 

445
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:12,520
So for something on like she'll 
like sleep talk, react to the 

446
00:22:12,520 --> 00:22:14,840
fact like if the TV was on she 
would have a conversation with 

447
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:17,280
the TV in her sleep and that 
would like disturb her sleep. 

448
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,920
So I have to have. 
You ever said anything that's 

449
00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:21,320
made you Oh. 
She'll like have an argument or 

450
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,280
like be laughing or having great
crack with whatever is going on.

451
00:22:24,920 --> 00:22:26,920
I couldn't. 
Yeah, at the end of different 

452
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:31,920
that would freak me if I if I 
was in bed asleep and I heard 

453
00:22:31,960 --> 00:22:35,720
laughter in the room, I'm gone. 
What about screaming and 

454
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:37,200
pointing, hey, who's that over 
there? 

455
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,240
Who's that man over there? 
I'm like, no, there's no one 

456
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:40,680
there. 
So that there is right there, 

457
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,880
eyes open, you know, this is 
this. 

458
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,480
Is no, I can't. 
I can't hack. 

459
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:46,360
That so therefore no, no 
distractions in the room. 

460
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:47,360
So I have to have my earphones 
on. 

461
00:22:47,360 --> 00:22:48,000
Oh. 
My. 

462
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,840
God, But then I wake up and I'm 
like, choked by them and they're

463
00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:53,960
upside down and inside out. 
But I always feel like they 

464
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:55,720
would never actually, you know, 
strangle me. 

465
00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,920
Your headphones. 
Yeah, like, you know, I, you 

466
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:58,720
know, iPhone. 
Earphone. 

467
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,240
Oh yeah, yeah, I mean. 
Not fucking yeah. 

468
00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:08,200
Craig David Yeah. 
So it's there's like a library 

469
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:11,840
of about 50 stories and 
somewhere actors like Matthew 

470
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:16,040
McConaughey does one. 
And sometimes they'll read like 

471
00:23:16,680 --> 00:23:19,840
they might read about something,
like about butterflies an actor 

472
00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,080
might be just telling you about.
Butterflies, but pretty much 

473
00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:25,000
just the most boring stories 
they can find, they sent. 

474
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,440
You to sleep? 
No, because some of them are 

475
00:23:26,440 --> 00:23:32,320
like, like Gulliver's Travels, 
I've tried to listen to about 12

476
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,560
times in the last couple of 
weeks, but I can't get through 

477
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:37,720
it. 
So it's like 20 minute story, 5 

478
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:41,240
minutes in, I'm done. 
And last night I listened to it 

479
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:43,920
for the first time, but it 
defeated the purpose because I 

480
00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:45,960
was purposely trying to stay 
awake to listen to the end of 

481
00:23:45,960 --> 00:23:46,800
it. 
Then by the end, I was like, 

482
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,800
wide awake. 
But yeah, it's like some of them

483
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,640
are like fairy tale stories. 
Some of that, like Matthew 

484
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,040
McConaughey does one. 
His is actually underwhelming. 

485
00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:58,280
I thought his would be great, 
you know, I mean, like, you 

486
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:02,600
know, but it's not. 
And John McEnroe reads the rules

487
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:07,920
of tennis, which is, you know, 
you're a shipping forecast. 

488
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,080
Yeah. 
The guy who does that just reads

489
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,640
the shipping forecast, and it 
just puts you out like a light. 

490
00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:14,520
Do you sleep well? 
Do you sleep well? 

491
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,840
Yeah, usually. 
So you don't need anything? 

492
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:19,000
No. 
See, the weird thing about this 

493
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,520
is, as much as I like it, I'm 
worried I'm getting the 

494
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:24,280
dependency level where I need a 
man to read me a story to go to 

495
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:27,160
sleep. 
So I worry that like, if the 

496
00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,000
phone died or whatever, I would 
have to like, call my 

497
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,400
neighbour's door and go. 
You read me a story, mate. 

498
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:34,840
You know you'd have to come and 
read it into my ear. 

499
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,520
But I like the way we've talked 
about before. 

500
00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:39,360
You used to go to sleep with the
snooker on. 

501
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:44,440
Snooker is great to go to. 
Sleep, if you Yes, And how did I

502
00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,080
forget that we used to talk 
about this? 

503
00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,560
John Virgo, if you, if you. 
Can't sleep. 

504
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,240
The number one thing is if BBC 
are covering the snooker or you 

505
00:24:52,240 --> 00:24:55,400
can get snooker, maybe you just 
put on YouTube and your TV, put 

506
00:24:55,400 --> 00:25:00,600
on a big snooker match, a big 
long match and just close your 

507
00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:04,360
eyes and the wee sounds of the 
snooker balls being hit and 

508
00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:06,640
going across the table and the 
fact that the crowders are 

509
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,320
reserved, it's just a recipe for
sleep. 

510
00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:18,980
Like you'll just be lying there 
and you'll just hear, well here 

511
00:25:18,980 --> 00:25:25,300
he goes going for a break on 68.
He takes the Charlotte the 

512
00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:37,160
Black, and it's good. 
Great stuff there from Ronnie 

513
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:42,720
O'Sullivan. 
Someone in the crowd fuck up. 

514
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:46,400
No need for that. 
That man has been thrown out. 

515
00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:48,520
Quietly ejected. 
Ladies and gentlemen, quiet, 

516
00:25:48,520 --> 00:25:55,480
please. 
It's the way to go. 

517
00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,040
Yeah, it is. 
It is definitely the way to go. 

518
00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:00,160
So much so that if I go to a 
snooker hall with a maid, as 

519
00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:03,560
soon as I take the first shot 
I'm just out on the table. 

520
00:26:04,120 --> 00:26:06,040
Snooker halls. 
They were very, very different 

521
00:26:06,040 --> 00:26:08,280
places than Championship 
snooker. 

522
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,120
Snooker hall. 
I mean, I don't wonder Frames 

523
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:14,800
libellous but Oh no, frames is 
dead on. 

524
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,960
But there's one righty. 
Like there's one I used to go to

525
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:21,400
with my dad. 
Not much wouldn't. 

526
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:23,400
Take the family. 
Let's leave it at that. 

527
00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,160
You know? 
You know, there's business being

528
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:31,880
conducted at some of the tables.
But it was good and people used 

529
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,520
to smoke in it and I liked it 
because I was a kid and I was 

530
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,880
like, I'll probably smoke on a 
moulder. 

531
00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:38,440
And then I realised I just, I 
don't have the lungs for it. 

532
00:26:40,040 --> 00:26:42,360
Have you guys seen before the 
listeners questions? 

533
00:26:42,360 --> 00:26:45,000
I'm watching someone on Netflix.
I'm a big fan of Bloodline. 

534
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:49,480
I started watching Bloodline. 
It's set in the Florida Keys. 

535
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:54,800
It's like a big Netflix original
drama and it's about a family of

536
00:26:54,800 --> 00:26:57,440
brothers and sisters and stuff. 
And one of the brothers comes 

537
00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,320
back. 
He's like a drifter and he's a 

538
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:03,920
bit dodgy and he's been away and
he comes back and he's like a 

539
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,680
real black sheep and it's really
good. 

540
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:10,000
The only thing is everyone and 
every episode has like a bottle 

541
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,680
of beer. 
They live in the Florida Keys, 

542
00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,320
so it's like, you know, see 
through what I mean, All water 

543
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,280
see through, to be fair, but 
it's like Clearwater, white 

544
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,840
sand, palm trees. 
And they're always like sweating

545
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:22,920
a wee bit because they live 
there. 

546
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,800
And everyone always just no 
matter what the conversation or 

547
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,680
the setup is, just opens up a 
bottle. 

548
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:31,400
A bottle of beer sits with a 
bottle of beer and we write for 

549
00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:36,760
my wife's granny's birthday on 
Saturday night and I don't 

550
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:40,640
normally drink beer anymore, but
I was like, I need some beers. 

551
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,640
But then I remembered I'm not 
cool enough to drink normal 

552
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:43,800
beers. 
So I had to get gluten free 

553
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:47,920
beers and I had to arrange to 
bring them to the hotel. 

554
00:27:48,800 --> 00:27:52,960
I had to ask for a manager when 
I get there, had to say I'm she 

555
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:56,120
and she was like come with me 
and I had to like take them to a

556
00:27:56,120 --> 00:27:59,600
special fridge. 
I was assigned A barman, a 

557
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:01,840
personal barman. 
That by the way, that's exactly 

558
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:04,160
what I'm about has given. 
I mean, he was allowed to serve 

559
00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:06,920
other people as well, but he was
mainly my friend. 

560
00:28:06,920 --> 00:28:08,280
Did you get rage? 
And when he was serving other 

561
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:09,440
people. 
Yeah, they don't like it. 

562
00:28:09,560 --> 00:28:11,320
It's like seeing your Barber 
cutting someone else's hair. 

563
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:13,840
You know that they have to do 
it, but you don't like it. 

564
00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:15,280
And he was called. 
He's called Michael. 

565
00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,960
Actually, he's called Michael. 
So every time I wanted a beer, I

566
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:21,320
do, Michael. 
I need a drink. 

567
00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:23,880
Michael. 
Where's my drink? 

568
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:24,560
Michael? 
As long. 

569
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:26,080
As you didn't call him Big Mike,
I'm fine, no. 

570
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:30,280
Eh, don't behind the bar. 
You don't know if the bar is 

571
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,240
raised or not, you know if it. 
Could be real deeper hang up 

572
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:35,040
about this height. 
I know I just, I'm not good at 

573
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:39,600
working on people's heights. 
Umm so that was great. 

574
00:28:39,600 --> 00:28:42,480
But the be added drink gluten 
free beer and then I had like 4 

575
00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:45,040
and I was ready for bed. 
My eyes were gone. 

576
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:49,080
Can we do some fun before we do 
listeners questions could could 

577
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:53,840
you bring up celebrity heights? 
And could you ask me what the 

578
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,480
height of some celebrities are? 
Maybe there's like a list of 

579
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:58,600
like a lot of different 
celebrity heights and I'll try 

580
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:00,920
and work out the height. 
Start with some obvious ones. 

581
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:07,160
Shaquille O'Neal was shocked by 
the most obvious movie 68. 

582
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:10,440
Danny DeVito. 
Danny DeVito. 

583
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:16,360
That's how I was thinking. 
Danny DeVito I think is 52. 

584
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,000
I'd say flat 5. 
I don't know. 

585
00:29:21,600 --> 00:29:22,560
He's not on this list. 
He. 

586
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,680
Hasn't made the list. 
Tom Cruise. 

587
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:35,520
Tom Cruise, 54. 57 he's 
actually. 

588
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:36,720
Taller than a lot of people 
think. 

589
00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:42,080
Yeah, 54 would be a bit, but. 
Danny DeVito 147 No, sorry. 

590
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:45,000
One metre 47 What's that in 
feet? 

591
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,280
I don't know. 
Hey, Siri. 

592
00:29:46,640 --> 00:29:48,840
I only know I only know height 
or I only know feet. 

593
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:55,000
Yes. 
What is 1 metre 47 centimetres 

594
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:57,840
in feet and inches? 
Group podcast content. 

595
00:29:58,240 --> 00:30:04,120
One centimetre is 0.033 feet 
small like Danny DeVito. 

596
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:07,520
Credit to him is very very good 
for being null. 

597
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:12,040
Point null, not 3 feet. 
So he doesn't doesn't get me. 

598
00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:18,160
Imagine Danny Devine trying to 
drag an Oscar off stage. .33 No,

599
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:24,640
not point not 33 Michael J Fox. 
Height don't know be hard to get

600
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:29,560
an accurate measurement. 
Evidently. 

601
00:30:30,160 --> 00:30:36,520
I'm going to say if if you can 
get him, he's 55. 

602
00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:40,400
Yes, that's correct. 
Yeah, No way. 

603
00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:41,760
Yes. 
Yes. 

604
00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:47,480
Vince Vaughn. 
Vince Vaughn, 6 foot 4. 

605
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:51,320
Nah, three, I was going to say 
656. 5. 

606
00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:03,400
Ben Stiller. 
Ben Stiller is 5 foot eight. 

607
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,960
I think this is ridiculous. 
Did I get it? 

608
00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:06,640
Yeah. 
No way. 

609
00:31:06,640 --> 00:31:09,080
I told you I have a gift. 
I have a gift. 

610
00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:10,680
And that's what disturbs me so 
much about you. 

611
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:11,680
You're. 
Hold on, I thought the whole 

612
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,040
premise of this was going to be 
that you didn't know, you 

613
00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:15,800
couldn't. 
I didn't think I did but not 

614
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:19,600
realised I have a gift for I 
know people's heights. 

615
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:24,080
Right Shaq. 
Shaq, 6971. 

616
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:28,040
Jeez. 
Shit, one more. 

617
00:31:33,380 --> 00:31:41,200
Paula Abdul. 
Karth Paul 53 52. 

618
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:52,000
Enjoyable Sorry to interrupt but
we have a very very quick 

619
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,920
sponsor message. 
Tea With Me podcast is sponsored

620
00:31:54,920 --> 00:31:58,640
by Limelight Belfast, the most 
famous venue for music and club 

621
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,160
nights in the country. 
Coming up there, the load of 

622
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:03,320
gigs and you can find it all 
about it on the Limelight 

623
00:32:03,320 --> 00:32:06,160
website or their Facebook page. 
And they have student friendly 

624
00:32:06,160 --> 00:32:10,120
club nights five nights a week. 
See limelightbelfast.com and 

625
00:32:10,120 --> 00:32:13,400
Limelight Belfast on Facebook 
for full listings and info. 

626
00:32:13,400 --> 00:32:16,000
Exclamation mark back to the 
podcast. 

627
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,200
All right, we've got loads, 
loads of listeners questions. 

628
00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:23,920
So I'm gonna, I'm gonna get them
out with that water way after 

629
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,800
time. 
Aye. 

630
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:27,640
Half an hour. 
Half an hour. 

631
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,040
Danny de Vito is 5 foot. 5 foot 
exactly. 

632
00:32:31,760 --> 00:32:34,600
Well, he's grown a lot since the
point. 

633
00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:39,360
Not not 3. 
OK, thanks to everybody who sent

634
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:41,120
in questions. 
We'll rifle through these. 

635
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:45,760
The Waffle Irish League podcasts
say what's the best product with

636
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:49,480
a cup of tea. 
I like what they've done. 

637
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,160
There isn't just said biscuit. 
They're opening up to other 

638
00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,520
things because there are going 
to be, you know, dirty perverts,

639
00:32:56,520 --> 00:32:59,960
a dairy like crisps for tea. 
I mean, that's horrible, isn't 

640
00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:01,240
it? 
You have like a wee. 

641
00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,120
Yeah, Crisp shouldn't really be,
no. 

642
00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:09,320
No, no, no, no, it was April. 
I mean, I'm going to say, well, 

643
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:15,080
product toast, Toast and tea is 
a very, very good combination. 

644
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,960
It also works at pretty much any
time of the day. 

645
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:19,480
So we're calling it toast and 
tea. 

646
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,400
Toast and tea, you say? 
Tea and toast and toast. 

647
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:25,520
Yeah, yeah, I maybe say tea and 
toast too, although I don't have

648
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:30,640
butter anymore, so I miss the 
like I miss the days of just 

649
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:33,720
nice soft white bread with a lot
of butter. 

650
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:38,080
Nowadays I have gluten free 
brown bread with honey and jam. 

651
00:33:39,160 --> 00:33:42,080
So the honey and jam kind of 
pimps it out a bit, but it's 

652
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:44,440
it's not, it's just not the 
same, quite the same. 

653
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:48,920
But if we were going to say 
biscuit, honestly one of the 

654
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,400
best biscuits and it's never 
really broke into the mainstream

655
00:33:51,760 --> 00:33:54,520
and become like a staple biscuit
like you will. 

656
00:33:54,720 --> 00:34:00,160
It's a bit like, it's like Frank
Ocean, you know, everybody knows

657
00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,440
it's good. 
It does all the major festivals,

658
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,000
like it's going to be in all the
major shops. 

659
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,760
But it's just not, it's, it's 
like like your mum and dad don't

660
00:34:07,760 --> 00:34:11,040
know, don't know. 
But Fox's Vanessa. 

661
00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:15,639
Fox's Vanessa biscuits, like 
buttery biscuit, 2 bits of 

662
00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,440
butter, like a finger of buttery
biscuit with a thin layer of 

663
00:34:18,440 --> 00:34:19,880
chocolate in the middle. 
Do you know the ones I'm talking

664
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:20,600
about? 
The ones you mean. 

665
00:34:21,040 --> 00:34:23,679
See if you're going to have 
those, put them in the fridge. 

666
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:28,719
I just remember my my nanny. 
Best get in the fridge. 

667
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:31,760
Some biscuits in the see when 
you go on holiday, you know 

668
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:35,480
those like chocolate sandwich 
biscuits like they're circular. 

669
00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:40,320
You get them in like a big, big 
like cylinder, like a like a 

670
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:42,800
paper cylinder and they're 
they're too. 

671
00:34:43,159 --> 00:34:45,360
They're with this side. 
They're like giant Oreos, but 

672
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:48,239
like, but it's like. 
BN really happy faces. 

673
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:50,600
Exactly like BNS, but they're 
circular. 

674
00:34:50,679 --> 00:34:52,400
So you would have Spain, France,
whenever you get these. 

675
00:34:52,639 --> 00:34:55,679
See those put those in the 
fridge and when that chocolate 

676
00:34:55,679 --> 00:34:59,600
is cold, my friend, you'll not 
regret it. 

677
00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:03,160
But go on Skyscanner and have a 
look the flights to like Malaga 

678
00:35:03,160 --> 00:35:05,280
or somewhere and let's let's get
us over because they're 

679
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:08,920
incredible. 
But in terms of biscuits, 

680
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,000
digestive is good, rich tea is 
good. 

681
00:35:12,840 --> 00:35:16,000
I've gone very mainstream there.
I'm open to. 

682
00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:19,280
Yeah, rich tea under those rich 
teas. 

683
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:27,120
Probably chocolate fingers. 
Chocolate fingers, yes, but you 

684
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:27,960
know you're not dipping, are 
you? 

685
00:35:29,560 --> 00:35:34,640
There is a school of thought 
that if you bite the end off of 

686
00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:38,560
a chocolate finger, yeah, both 
ends, put that in the tea and 

687
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:41,240
use it as a straw. 
I've heard this. 

688
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:44,080
See, that's that. 
To me, that's controversial. 

689
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:47,320
That's very immature. 
Like, that's a bit like people 

690
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:50,000
who go, I have chips from my 
Mcflurry. 

691
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,880
Fuck off, dickhead. 
I like, actually like it. 

692
00:35:53,880 --> 00:35:56,400
Yeah, I dip the chips into my 
fuck up. 

693
00:35:56,880 --> 00:35:59,680
Fuck up. 
Oh yeah. 

694
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:01,880
So is that a no? 
I've done that, yeah. 

695
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:03,280
You've done it because you. 
You. 

696
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:06,840
On occasion. 
Done like say at some point when

697
00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:12,880
you're younger, that's such a, 
that's such a, you know, you're 

698
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,280
15, you're over the group of 
mates and there's girls there 

699
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:19,040
and you say that. 
Let me just, this is what I do. 

700
00:36:19,880 --> 00:36:23,840
You're like, I am the guy who 
dips chips and I I'm fucking, 

701
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,760
I'm mental. 
I'm mental. 

702
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:28,840
You know, you Fast forward 15 
years, you're still doing that. 

703
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:34,720
You're what's called unemployed.
Patrick Neil says, would you 

704
00:36:34,720 --> 00:36:37,040
rather eat a kilogramme of 
cheese every day or a kilogramme

705
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:42,360
of raw chicken every week? 
How much is a kilogramme? 

706
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:47,640
One KG. 
So maybe like less than less 

707
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,720
than a cup full. 
It's hard for me to work out 

708
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:53,840
what a kilogramme is because 
I've benched like 5-6 hundred. 

709
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:55,720
I don't really know how much one
would be. 

710
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:58,360
It's a. 
Reasonable line like. 

711
00:36:58,760 --> 00:37:02,320
If you eat a kilogramme of raw 
chicken, if you eat kilogramme 

712
00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:03,440
raw chicken, you get sick, 
right? 

713
00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:05,640
Yeah, guaranteed you get sick 
or. 

714
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:08,480
Yeah, right. 
Well, then cheese, even though 

715
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:12,360
I've got a dairy allergy. 
It's going to be either way. 

716
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,920
Either way the result is I'm 
shitting. 

717
00:37:17,400 --> 00:37:20,680
I'm shitting either way. 
I mean whatever they kept 

718
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,720
kilogramme cheese every day or a
kilogramme raw chicken every 

719
00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:25,560
week. 
Neither, neither. 

720
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:33,000
Gareth Hannah says are you, are 
you a green tea man and if so 

721
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:39,640
what's your favourite flavour? 
Yes, I am a green tea man and I 

722
00:37:39,640 --> 00:37:42,760
should drink more green tea. 
I probably have two 3 cups a 

723
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,840
week. 
I like green tea but I do feel 

724
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:48,520
like if I'm out ordering it in 
like Cafe, it's a waste of 

725
00:37:48,520 --> 00:37:52,040
money. 
Tea will always feel like it's 

726
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:54,960
worth a bit of money to me, but 
green tea is literally hot water

727
00:37:55,600 --> 00:37:56,920
and just a wee bag in it, you 
know? 

728
00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:00,400
I'd say it's just like, well 
it's just that I feel like I'm 

729
00:38:00,400 --> 00:38:03,200
not getting banged from a buck, 
so in the house I'll be more 

730
00:38:03,200 --> 00:38:05,600
likely to have green tea. 
I like green tea, but you can't 

731
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,880
have it really with stuff. 
Yeah, for the longest time I 

732
00:38:09,880 --> 00:38:12,640
didn't realise that green tea 
has more caffeine in it than a 

733
00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:15,040
cup of tea like regular tea. 
I always thought that it was 

734
00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,120
just I have one. 
Caffeine I have one, Caffeinate 

735
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,880
ones. 
See, I like caffeine. 

736
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:21,720
And I was always like, now 
what's the point in drinking 

737
00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:23,080
that green tea? 
And then someone said there's 

738
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:25,000
more caffeine. 
In it, is caffeine an actual 

739
00:38:25,160 --> 00:38:28,120
thing, like a like a Could you 
hold caffeine in your hand? 

740
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:32,520
You can have like pure caffeine.
Can you? 

741
00:38:32,680 --> 00:38:34,120
Like. 
So it's like science. 

742
00:38:34,280 --> 00:38:37,360
Yeah, I think I remember doing 
something like this in single 

743
00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,200
award science and it was like a 
white powder and that wasn't 

744
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:41,560
something. 
Award science and just to make 

745
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:44,160
me feel shit. 
Well, I did Single word science,

746
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:45,440
single award. 
The worst? 

747
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:47,520
Well. 
What's the best I did double 

748
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:48,480
word? 
Triple award trip. 

749
00:38:49,680 --> 00:38:51,080
That you did single triple 
award. 

750
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:55,720
Make your mind. 
You did single triple award. 

751
00:38:57,560 --> 00:39:02,400
What do you eat in GCSE? 
Next, R4A's and 4C's which is a 

752
00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:07,000
widespread. 
That is a rangy buffet, my 

753
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:12,920
friend. 4B's, 4C's and AD. 
Fuck you, yes. 

754
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,080
Hey man, we're all in the same 
room now. 

755
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,640
Christopher Lynn says Lorne or 
the Kragen. 

756
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:24,640
I mean, it's a very, very 
geographically specific 

757
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:29,720
question. 
See, even though I slag learn 

758
00:39:29,720 --> 00:39:34,480
off no words bad or good, 
there's no place in the world 

759
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,400
that's bad or good. 
Everywhere is just it has good 

760
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:40,880
bits and has bad bits. 
The Kragen's in Derry. 

761
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:44,320
I've never been to the Kragen. 
I've been to Derry. 

762
00:39:44,760 --> 00:39:47,280
I used to live in Derry I. 
Used to live in Derry for two 

763
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:50,720
years but I went back there a 
couple of years ago for an 

764
00:39:50,720 --> 00:39:51,640
event. 
There's a place called the 

765
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:53,480
Bunker if you heard of this. 
The Bunker no. 

766
00:39:53,720 --> 00:39:55,600
And there it's like an 
underground car park, but the 

767
00:39:55,600 --> 00:39:59,120
user for like music gigs. 
It's cool, but we stayed in a 

768
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,760
few minutes, stayed in an 
Airbnb, you know, just something

769
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:02,920
cheap and cheerful for the 
night. 

770
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:06,080
Just the place to put her heads 
down and you know, come back on 

771
00:40:06,080 --> 00:40:10,000
the train the next day. 
Was in the Kragen and it was 

772
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:13,520
basically a crack then and 
throughout the night like a guy 

773
00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,720
was getting put out of his house
just right beside our Airbnb. 

774
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:20,360
Not saying that's what all the 
Gregens like, but just are my 

775
00:40:20,360 --> 00:40:21,720
anecdotal experience. 
When? 

776
00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:23,760
He said cheap and cheerful. 
It was the sort of place it was 

777
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:25,720
that cheap. 
They gave you £25 to stay in it?

778
00:40:25,720 --> 00:40:28,640
Pretty much, yeah. 
Lauren, I like Lauren. 

779
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,720
I had a pleasurable experience 
going up there on tour last 

780
00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,040
year. 
Me and Aaron Butler went up, 

781
00:40:32,240 --> 00:40:35,680
went to a nice diner, like an 
American diner type type 

782
00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:40,920
restaurant just out of the town 
in a retail park and it was 7 

783
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,560
out of 10 experience overall. 
Ella says. 

784
00:40:44,920 --> 00:40:48,280
Hit us with your favourite anti 
politicians scandal. 

785
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,000
Well, I have a few to choose 
from. 

786
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,160
I don't think I really like any 
of them because the reality of 

787
00:40:56,160 --> 00:41:00,400
it is like it should be like 
running the country. 

788
00:41:00,400 --> 00:41:03,240
So when they're doing when 
you're like, ah, you bloody 

789
00:41:03,240 --> 00:41:06,320
bastard, you know that that's 
time where they could be like, I

790
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:08,440
don't know, fixing the health 
service. 

791
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:13,200
So I don't know. 
I mean, everyone went mad for 

792
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:16,240
the Irish Robinson one. 
Obviously that's a lot of 

793
00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:18,600
people's go to actually went to 
school. 

794
00:41:19,160 --> 00:41:23,360
The guy who she had the affair 
with was in my class and someone

795
00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:27,760
said to me after like around the
time somebody went, did he seem 

796
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:31,880
like that sort of fella who what
is the personality trait where 

797
00:41:31,880 --> 00:41:34,240
you go? 
I'm going to get it when he 

798
00:41:34,240 --> 00:41:36,960
grows up, he's going to have an 
affair with the first minister's

799
00:41:36,960 --> 00:41:39,200
wife. 
But he did. 

800
00:41:39,200 --> 00:41:41,280
I mean, I said I called that 
years before. 

801
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:45,640
I said trust me, mark my words, 
he will go on the have an affair

802
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,960
with the Harris Robinson. 
I can tell by the way he held 

803
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:53,440
his pen. 
That was a big I mean the if 

804
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:55,720
you're saying favourite, you 
probably mean like, what's the 

805
00:41:55,720 --> 00:41:59,480
one I like I hated the most? 
See, seeing all honesty, right, 

806
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:01,360
This is an unpopular opinion, 
but this that's what this 

807
00:42:01,360 --> 00:42:02,640
podcast is. 
It's honesty. 

808
00:42:02,640 --> 00:42:08,280
We're just we're having a talk 
with TI am absolutely not mad at

809
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:13,160
all the M Paisley junior stuff. 
And I'm no fan of M Paisley 

810
00:42:13,160 --> 00:42:17,120
Junior, but the way he just like
goes on holiday to the Maldives,

811
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:20,880
lives it up, gets paid to go 
over, stays in luxury. 

812
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:25,040
And the fact that he repeatedly 
goes and does this sorting fun. 

813
00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:29,000
Good luck. 
Because everyone who's slagging 

814
00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:32,640
them off for that is acting 
like, no, I no, if I no, if that

815
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,320
was me, no. 
Listen, if you were offered a 

816
00:42:35,320 --> 00:42:38,400
fucking half price ticket to 
Karen Ryan, you'd do. 

817
00:42:39,400 --> 00:42:42,560
If you were offered a discount 
meal on the standing line, you'd

818
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:47,040
be over and over in M&D's theme 
park having a great time on your

819
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:49,240
company expense. 
And I get that his company 

820
00:42:49,240 --> 00:42:53,480
expense is all of our money, but
fuck it, fuck it. 

821
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:57,360
See if see if you can if you can
chance your arm and get away 

822
00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:59,040
with stuff. 
Good luck to you. 

823
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:02,680
He went ask him that. 
He have a brilliant time. 

824
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:06,120
I bet he had a brilliant time. 
His town speaks volumes. 

825
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:07,960
His town. 
But yeah, he's from Olive. 

826
00:43:09,160 --> 00:43:12,520
So I would also like a politic 
like he. 

827
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,240
He's not my constituency. 
Whatever. 

828
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:19,760
I wouldn't vote for him, but I 
like the idea that my politician

829
00:43:19,960 --> 00:43:22,960
has a good vitamin D levels 
because he's going to be on 

830
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,320
form, you know what I mean? 
Like I'd say when he came back 

831
00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,360
from the Maldives, if you ask 
him for anything, if you live in

832
00:43:27,360 --> 00:43:29,040
this constituent, he'd be like, 
yeah, no worries. 

833
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,720
I'm having an argument with 
neighbour about about the height

834
00:43:31,720 --> 00:43:33,680
of offence. 
Fuck it, we'll get the fence 

835
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:37,600
taken out in. 
We're looking in. 

836
00:43:37,600 --> 00:43:39,520
We're looking to have a 
wrestling ring built in the town

837
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:40,440
centre. 
Ballymena here. 

838
00:43:41,600 --> 00:43:44,480
Consider it done. 
You know, he'd be open the 

839
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:46,560
ideas. 
I like people that are, you 

840
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:52,720
know, he's a, he's a chancellor.
So fair play to Matthew, Smith 

841
00:43:52,720 --> 00:43:55,920
says. 
Would you rather get the 

842
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:59,240
coronavirus or play right wing 
back a clock away? 

843
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,920
Again, a very niche and 
particular question. 

844
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:08,560
I think he's referring to when 
my football team played clock a 

845
00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:13,600
couple of weeks ago and we we 
got stuffed and I actually 

846
00:44:13,600 --> 00:44:15,400
wasn't even playing right wing 
back. 

847
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:17,120
So that's big volumes with my 
performance. 

848
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,000
So what I would I rather get the
coronavirus to play right wing 

849
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:24,520
back a clock away. 
Well, probably coronavirus 

850
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,480
because I keep playing right 
wing back because you have to do

851
00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:30,000
way more running because you're 
playing in the in between 

852
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,800
defence and midfield. 
So I'd happily play right back 

853
00:44:32,800 --> 00:44:35,720
or right wing, but right wing 
back up and down the channel, 

854
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:39,320
not worth it. 
So probably coronavirus, as long

855
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:41,960
as I knew, like, it would be 
swayed, like as long as I'm just

856
00:44:41,960 --> 00:44:44,840
in bed for a couple of days, 
it'd be all right, Darren 

857
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:47,960
Fullerton says. 
Local journalist Darren 

858
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:52,240
Fullerton says, Like most other 
moderately seen people I know, 

859
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,240
do you subconsciously mark 
yourself out of 10 when you look

860
00:44:55,240 --> 00:44:57,960
in the mirror? 
An average Joe Spectrum could be

861
00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:01,800
anywhere between 3.5 and 6. 
But what sort of ballpark are we

862
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:04,680
talking about when she and Todd 
steps in front of the mirror? 

863
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:08,840
And that's been liked. 
Just that question has been 

864
00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:11,840
liked on Twitter by two people. 
So, you know, people are looking

865
00:45:11,840 --> 00:45:14,600
forward to the response here. 
And you guys are smiling here. 

866
00:45:16,200 --> 00:45:17,560
I'm locked on the phone for this
one. 

867
00:45:17,600 --> 00:45:19,640
We'll take we'll take away 
second answer this. 

868
00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:23,920
So Darren's saying most people 
when they look at themselves in 

869
00:45:23,920 --> 00:45:26,680
the mirror, think about 
assigning themselves a mark 

870
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,560
between 1:00 and 10:00. 
I don't do that. 

871
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:33,520
I don't do that because some 
days you could feel like you're 

872
00:45:33,520 --> 00:45:37,400
A at 10. 
Some days we all know guys, you 

873
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:44,640
could feel like a nine. 
So I, I, I don't, I don't give 

874
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:48,760
myself a number. 
I give myself an adjective. 

875
00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:51,400
I look in the mirror. 
Some days I'm like dweeb. 

876
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,760
Well, and other people are 
saying it too, you know, and 

877
00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:01,040
some days I look in the mirror 
and I just go, whoa, who is that

878
00:46:01,040 --> 00:46:03,200
guy? 
And then I realise it's me, you 

879
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:10,240
know, I'm, I'm right. 
Here's the thing. 

880
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:16,040
I looks wise out of 10, right? 
I'm a comedy 11. 

881
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:21,720
It's just the way it is. 
I don't make the rules. 

882
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:27,560
But out of 10, when it comes to 
comedy, I'm an 11. 

883
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:32,840
No, the good thing about that is
I'm an 11. 

884
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:37,240
The bad thing about that is I'm 
a real life 7. 

885
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:43,920
We can deny it. 
We can, we can debate it. 

886
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:50,040
But like with comedy, I look, 
people be like, this is that, is

887
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,120
that a fucking Hilfiger model, 
right. 

888
00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:55,000
People are like, do you, are you
modelling for Hilfiger right 

889
00:46:55,000 --> 00:46:58,040
now? 
In real life, I, I look like a 

890
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:04,760
Victorian butcher's son and I, I
don't know what I mean by that, 

891
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:06,080
but you know what I mean by 
that. 

892
00:47:06,200 --> 00:47:08,960
At the same time, you know 
exactly what I meant. 

893
00:47:08,960 --> 00:47:13,000
Like I look like in Victorian 
times the local butcher would be

894
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:16,040
my dad and I work in the 
butcher's place, but I'm not 

895
00:47:16,040 --> 00:47:18,280
really like getting involved in 
anything like the Butch. 

896
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,360
Like I do the cash register for 
the butcher. 

897
00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:23,880
Petty Farthing please, for your 
ribs. 

898
00:47:25,280 --> 00:47:27,840
But in comedy, I'm a fucking 
knock guy. 

899
00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:39,960
Let's go Mr Loma. 
And there's more for comedians 

900
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:45,320
than it does from I mean, like, 
honestly, comedy on top of the 

901
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:49,720
mountain. 
OK, Like, how does he look? 

902
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:54,920
How does he look like a female 
Russian power athlete and also 

903
00:47:55,600 --> 00:48:00,240
like a hot librarian. 
I don't know, real life, kind 

904
00:48:00,240 --> 00:48:06,200
average, not real life, 
honestly. 

905
00:48:06,200 --> 00:48:15,120
Like I probably say, I mean, I'm
at least to seven on a good day,

906
00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:20,080
at least to seven. 
I could be in it, but I'm not 

907
00:48:20,080 --> 00:48:24,080
like, here's the thing, when you
break me down, I do, yes. 

908
00:48:24,080 --> 00:48:27,720
I've got weird fingers. 
My ears are probably slightly on

909
00:48:27,720 --> 00:48:30,120
the big side. 
One of my eyes is actually 

910
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:31,240
probably bigger than the other 
one. 

911
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,960
My nose is broken, so it's 
slightly out of shape. 

912
00:48:35,640 --> 00:48:38,800
I have a big hit, like 
physically have a weird shaped 

913
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:42,080
head and I've got really, really
long arms. 

914
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:46,160
But but I move quickly to get 
away from that. 

915
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:49,320
You know, I never really stay in
the same place for that long 

916
00:48:49,320 --> 00:48:53,320
like because if people really 
worked on my face for Quasimodo,

917
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:56,960
but I like to just stay in 
people's periphery, you know, I 

918
00:48:56,960 --> 00:48:58,840
mean, so I'm always just doing 
that. 

919
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:02,840
But if, if, if you maybe got me 
face on for seven seconds, you'd

920
00:49:02,840 --> 00:49:05,520
vomit. 
You'd just be sick. 

921
00:49:06,680 --> 00:49:07,840
That's why I'm always on the 
move. 

922
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:13,880
So yeah, to sum up, comedy, 11 
out of 10, real life 7.3 to 

923
00:49:13,880 --> 00:49:17,120
maybe 8.1. 
I don't know, Like sometimes 

924
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:19,120
I'll pop an outfit on holiday 
and you'll go. 

925
00:49:20,920 --> 00:49:24,320
It doesn't. 
Is that our door? 

926
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:27,040
I hope not. 
No one's ever knocked our door 

927
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:30,800
before. 
You did tell people on the very 

928
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:35,400
first podcast that where exactly
we are geographically. 

929
00:49:35,520 --> 00:49:37,440
Did I? 
I said what we're above. 

930
00:49:38,320 --> 00:49:42,480
Yeah, that's assume. 
So we're now about to get 

931
00:49:42,480 --> 00:49:43,920
murdered, basically. 
Yeah. 

932
00:49:44,760 --> 00:49:46,280
Be good for writings. 
It will. 

933
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,160
It would be real. 
Like if someone can't. 

934
00:49:48,200 --> 00:49:50,440
Hopefully they took the time to 
lift the media out of both of 

935
00:49:50,440 --> 00:49:53,760
our recorders and then. 
Yeah, if you come in to kill us,

936
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:56,440
upload the pod. 
Yeah, upload the pod does that. 

937
00:49:56,600 --> 00:50:01,960
OK, I got more questions. 
What what the what do you think 

938
00:50:02,040 --> 00:50:05,360
I would be able to? 
Umm, I'm just real life. 

939
00:50:05,360 --> 00:50:06,520
I'm more admiring. 
I can. 

940
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,760
Admire in the fact that whenever
like your career teacher sat you

941
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,320
down, it's like you know, what 
are your skills? 

942
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:15,400
You were more scoping out the 
competition and go what field 

943
00:50:15,400 --> 00:50:19,320
could I go into where I could 
really excel and looks. 

944
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:21,200
Well, I was either going to. 
Write comedy. 

945
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:22,640
Yeah, I had to go. 
Into a field where I was going 

946
00:50:22,640 --> 00:50:24,520
to stand that looks why. 
So I was either going to be a 

947
00:50:24,520 --> 00:50:30,560
stand up or a Warhammer expert, 
you know? 

948
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:34,440
So what do you say? 
Umm. 

949
00:50:35,640 --> 00:50:39,320
We're friends, we're friends. 
Yeah, so I, so I can take, I'll,

950
00:50:39,680 --> 00:50:43,480
uh, point to. .1 I think you 
were closer to the mark with 

951
00:50:43,480 --> 00:50:46,880
your first your first real life.
Real Life 7. 

952
00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:50,560
Set on right, Yeah, we are 
afraid I'm not going to be 

953
00:50:50,600 --> 00:50:52,600
reagent here and you're going to
say 7. 

954
00:50:57,520 --> 00:50:59,560
I don't feel like we've known 
each other long enough to have 

955
00:50:59,560 --> 00:51:01,080
this conversationship. 
You're right. 

956
00:51:01,320 --> 00:51:04,960
OK, Barry Mullen says what's the
best way to make a cup of tea? 

957
00:51:05,440 --> 00:51:11,360
And we go tea bag in kettle. 
Just boil. 

958
00:51:11,600 --> 00:51:13,760
I say just boil. 
Give a 30 seconds. 

959
00:51:13,760 --> 00:51:15,280
I don't, I don't still want to 
hear the kettle. 

960
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:19,240
Bubble tea bag in, water into 
that. 

961
00:51:19,960 --> 00:51:22,760
Dip your tea bag. 
At no point should the tea bag 

962
00:51:22,760 --> 00:51:26,680
still be in when the milk is in.
Dip your tea bag open to the 

963
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:30,800
floor after dip your tea bag 12 
to 15 times. 

964
00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:33,680
Don't. 
Don't be in a rush either. 

965
00:51:34,440 --> 00:51:36,880
Press it against the side, get 
the last of that tea out. 

966
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,000
Throw the tea bag into the bin, 
don't put it in the sink because

967
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:43,800
that's just lazy. 
And then go over as you're 

968
00:51:43,800 --> 00:51:46,480
pouring your milk and stir 
because that's going to give you

969
00:51:46,480 --> 00:51:48,600
a better indication of what the 
overall colour is going to be. 

970
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:52,920
And then boom, you're done. 
I think we touched on this in 

971
00:51:52,920 --> 00:51:55,880
the previous episode, but a bit 
of milk while the tea bag is 

972
00:51:55,880 --> 00:52:00,640
still in, Hmm. 
No, not for me. 

973
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:02,960
You just. 
They might, yeah. 

974
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:06,080
Basically, they're the same way 
as you, but I tend not to give 

975
00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:09,800
it as much aggressive stern. 
I like to just let it sit and. 

976
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:12,520
You let the bags. 
Go through and then I do do the 

977
00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:14,320
we squeeze at the end against 
the side and then. 

978
00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:16,440
Sometimes when I see people not 
do the squeeze at the end, I 

979
00:52:16,440 --> 00:52:17,960
think, ah, we can never truly be
friends. 

980
00:52:18,120 --> 00:52:23,000
Yeah, You know, Aaron Harrison 
says, talk about the mysteries 

981
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,600
around ice cream vans, how they 
make their money, why they play 

982
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:28,160
their tune late at night. 
Or do we already know the answer

983
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:31,200
for this already? 
Look, there isn't the mystery 

984
00:52:31,200 --> 00:52:33,880
around ice cream vans. 
That doesn't apply to all ice 

985
00:52:33,880 --> 00:52:35,920
cream vans. 
But all I'm going to say is I 

986
00:52:35,920 --> 00:52:38,160
remember an ice cream van he 
used to drive about the estate 

987
00:52:38,160 --> 00:52:41,680
out the road, and he sold 
everything bar ice creams. 

988
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:44,960
Like, if you wanted a 99, he 
couldn't help you. 

989
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:48,840
But if you wanted like a bottle 
of Cleanse vodka or a Man United

990
00:52:48,840 --> 00:52:51,280
shirt with Shearer on the back, 
give him a shout. 

991
00:52:51,640 --> 00:52:52,800
And Sheer didn't even play from 
Onion. 

992
00:52:52,800 --> 00:52:53,720
I don't understand. 
Not to him. 

993
00:52:53,720 --> 00:52:55,640
Once I was like, why does this 
have Sheer and I in the bag? 

994
00:52:55,640 --> 00:52:57,880
He don't play from Onion. 
And he goes, don't worry about a

995
00:52:57,880 --> 00:52:58,880
kid. 
He will. 

996
00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:01,400
And he never did. 
You know, I was like, why would 

997
00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:04,200
you have inside informations, 
transfer data into the Premier 

998
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:05,200
League? 
You're an ice cream man. 

999
00:53:05,200 --> 00:53:14,080
But look, ice cream man, ice 
cream man are going to be 

1000
00:53:14,080 --> 00:53:16,680
something that we will be very, 
very sad whenever they're 

1001
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,360
forgotten, you know, when you 
don't have the local ice cream. 

1002
00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:22,360
Yeah, there's there's mystery 
around ice cream man. 

1003
00:53:22,520 --> 00:53:28,680
Why are they pumping out like 
selling ice cream? 

1004
00:53:28,680 --> 00:53:30,920
Like word. 
Obviously that noise is to get 

1005
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:32,880
the kids out going to buy ice 
cream. 

1006
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:36,280
But I like it when ice cream men
have I wonder could bring this 

1007
00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:37,880
up. 
I remember I love it when ice 

1008
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,960
cream men have like a remix of a
song, but it's played in the ice

1009
00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:47,120
cream style, the ice cream man 
van style ice cream van song 

1010
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:59,920
remix. 
So this kind of music, that's 

1011
00:53:59,920 --> 00:54:03,360
the DJ that made that work. 
He's worried that he's worried 

1012
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:04,200
that people are going to make 
up. 

1013
00:54:06,280 --> 00:54:08,120
Yeah, ice cream. 
I mean, the ice cream almost 

1014
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:11,480
great. 
Although, yes, a lot of time 

1015
00:54:11,480 --> 00:54:13,040
when I was a kid, when the ice 
cream one came, I would have 

1016
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:15,160
gotten ice cream often, but I 
would also have liked it. 

1017
00:54:15,160 --> 00:54:17,800
I would have got a Mars bar too.
We probably have the same ice 

1018
00:54:17,800 --> 00:54:19,480
cream, man. 
There wasn't like rival ice, 

1019
00:54:19,720 --> 00:54:20,720
rival ice cream. 
Man. 

1020
00:54:21,880 --> 00:54:23,360
And we asked him for you to 
shoot something. 

1021
00:54:26,200 --> 00:54:28,280
He was he. 
That wasn't my original ice 

1022
00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:29,480
cream, man. 
He was my ice cream man. 

1023
00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:32,080
He was a great ice cream man. 
And but, but then it wasn't him.

1024
00:54:32,320 --> 00:54:34,520
I think he took a bit of time 
out of the ice cream game. 

1025
00:54:35,760 --> 00:54:38,600
Like he, he, he. 
He to me is the original Mr 

1026
00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:41,240
Whippy and he was an ice cream 
purist. 

1027
00:54:41,600 --> 00:54:44,120
Did anybody call it the Pokémon?
The Pokémon. 

1028
00:54:44,120 --> 00:54:45,920
Oh yeah. 
We never really had that. 

1029
00:54:46,440 --> 00:54:49,120
The Pokémon, Well, you went to 
my friends I sent by the Claire 

1030
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:50,920
once and he called it the 
Pokémon. 

1031
00:54:50,920 --> 00:54:53,240
I was like. 
And that was just his uncle. 

1032
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:58,400
Yeah, Pokémon's coming around to
give you a 69. 

1033
00:54:58,400 --> 00:55:02,720
No ice cream sold by. 
Can I get a 99? 

1034
00:55:02,760 --> 00:55:07,960
Take away 30 and you can get it.
Umm, Chris Gullier says 3 

1035
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:10,240
podcasts in and I don't know 
what tea bags you use. 

1036
00:55:11,360 --> 00:55:13,160
Three, three dates in. 
I don't even know what you work 

1037
00:55:13,160 --> 00:55:15,040
out. 
So my question is, what tea bags

1038
00:55:15,040 --> 00:55:16,560
do you use? 
How long is the tea bag? 

1039
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:19,080
Look, you asked a little too 
many questions there. 

1040
00:55:19,800 --> 00:55:23,120
Umm, but the brand I use, we 
have talked about this. 

1041
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:27,160
Yeah, I use this was on Sam's 
one Petley, umm, Nambari 

1042
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:30,400
Panjana. 
Umm, there's no tea bags I'm 

1043
00:55:30,400 --> 00:55:32,600
against. 
Roberts, eh, Look this up after 

1044
00:55:32,600 --> 00:55:35,440
I remember Sam's Nigerian 
Roberts tea, I think it actually

1045
00:55:35,440 --> 00:55:37,280
is a thing. 
I don't think it's Nigerian, I 

1046
00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:38,360
think it's Kenya. 
We should. 

1047
00:55:38,720 --> 00:55:39,920
Probably give them a text with 
that. 

1048
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,920
Yeah, public apology. 
Chris says also for the podcast,

1049
00:55:42,920 --> 00:55:45,760
it's pronounced Guyler, Chris 
Guyler. 

1050
00:55:45,800 --> 00:55:50,760
Hey, Chris, I don't give a fuck.
So just making you aware of 

1051
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:55,160
that. 
Peter, how am I doing? 

1052
00:55:55,200 --> 00:55:58,680
Sorry, Chris Gulliver, Peter 
Walker says. 

1053
00:55:58,680 --> 00:56:01,520
Who do you think will win in a 
Mike Tyson versus Tyson Fury 

1054
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:04,040
fight to Tyson V Tyson? 
I mean, Tyson Fury. 

1055
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:05,960
Mike Tyson's pretty old now he's
retired. 

1056
00:56:06,280 --> 00:56:10,040
He's had a lot of punches to the
head he's but let's just he's a 

1057
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:12,880
bit of a character and Tyson 
Fury's like potentially the best

1058
00:56:12,880 --> 00:56:15,040
heavyweight. 
He has the best heavyweight 

1059
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:18,240
around at the minute. 
We definitely win the fight, but

1060
00:56:18,800 --> 00:56:21,160
them both in their prime, be 
good to see, be two different 

1061
00:56:21,160 --> 00:56:23,200
styles and be good to see. 
But I don't know. 

1062
00:56:23,920 --> 00:56:25,040
I was going to get up for the 
fight. 

1063
00:56:25,040 --> 00:56:28,160
That was my plan. 
Buy it on BT box office because 

1064
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:29,680
I'm tired of watching shitty 
streams. 

1065
00:56:30,000 --> 00:56:32,040
Buy it, turn my phone off, get 
up for it. 

1066
00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:34,960
But BT Sport didn't want my 
money, wouldn't let me buy it. 

1067
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:36,960
So I just watch it on YouTube 
the next morning. 

1068
00:56:38,320 --> 00:56:41,280
Jimmy Gordon says what's the 
worst or most disgusting thing 

1069
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:46,760
you'd be willing to do? 
For a small fortune, I'd 

1070
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:53,640
probably gig for a paramilitary.
If it depends. 

1071
00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:57,040
If people didn't find out about 
it I'd do a gig for a 

1072
00:56:57,040 --> 00:57:04,720
paramilitary or maybe some sort 
of like terrorist type guy at 

1073
00:57:04,720 --> 00:57:06,480
the BET. 
Like not locally though, because

1074
00:57:06,680 --> 00:57:08,760
you don't want that look, but 
like if there was like an 

1075
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:11,640
international. 
Terrorist conferences that you 

1076
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:13,840
would get invited to. 
What would you mean? 

1077
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:14,840
Would I do it if? 
Yeah. 

1078
00:57:14,840 --> 00:57:15,840
Is that what you think would 
make the? 

1079
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:18,200
Function like I take oil money, 
you know, you know, people are 

1080
00:57:18,200 --> 00:57:20,600
like Saudi Arabia, the human 
rights record. 

1081
00:57:20,600 --> 00:57:24,040
I wouldn't you know the the slag
like WWE for going over there 

1082
00:57:24,040 --> 00:57:28,800
boxers for going over there, 
£200 for 20 minutes. 

1083
00:57:29,760 --> 00:57:36,400
Yeah, I did, not a problem and I
wear the flag or I'm double them

1084
00:57:36,400 --> 00:57:38,960
fee and I would. 
Dermot Wallace says if you make 

1085
00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:41,760
a cup of tea and forget about 
it, is it acceptable to reheat 

1086
00:57:41,760 --> 00:57:45,960
in the microwave? 
What we can do there is move on.

1087
00:57:46,640 --> 00:57:48,720
We can move on and we can 
pretend that that didn't happen.

1088
00:57:48,840 --> 00:57:50,400
I think that's for the best. 
Seek help, Dermot. 

1089
00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:56,520
Claire O'Neill says on Instagram
says could you please follow the

1090
00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:58,680
Shamrock Tenors? 
And you've tweeted them. 

1091
00:57:59,040 --> 00:58:03,280
The Shamrock Tenors are cruise 
ship singers. 

1092
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:21,550
They let me see in 1890 
one disappears. 

1093
00:58:22,350 --> 00:58:27,030
So like so the quick to answer 
the question, can I follow them 

1094
00:58:28,150 --> 00:58:32,590
without being harsh? 
No purely because I only follow 

1095
00:58:33,030 --> 00:58:36,390
comedians on Instagram and like 
meets, you know what I mean? 

1096
00:58:36,390 --> 00:58:40,920
Like actual meets. 
But I can certainly say that the

1097
00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:43,920
Shamrock Tenors there have very 
nice waist coats. 

1098
00:58:43,920 --> 00:58:46,360
I like their look. 
I probably like their music. 

1099
00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:48,880
If they do a lot of traditional 
Irish music, I'd probably like 

1100
00:58:48,880 --> 00:58:51,520
it. 
If the Shamrock Tenors were 

1101
00:58:51,520 --> 00:58:57,800
playing in the Cafe below us at 
half 11, I'd get a slice of 

1102
00:58:57,800 --> 00:58:59,240
carrot cake and then stay and 
watch them. 

1103
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:03,680
So I would give them a dolph of 
the cap, but I shan't give them 

1104
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:05,600
a follow Claire. 
But I like that you brought them

1105
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:08,080
to my attention. 
Ruined, Tumulty says. 

1106
00:59:09,880 --> 00:59:11,320
I don't know if this podcast 
question. 

1107
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:14,840
How's it going, Madam? 
Having the 18th birthday, I know

1108
00:59:14,840 --> 00:59:16,800
I should read this because he's 
given all the details. 

1109
00:59:17,440 --> 00:59:22,160
Would you be up for dinner? 
Something OK, you made a little 

1110
00:59:22,160 --> 00:59:25,960
bit one flying Irishman says. 
When people you barely know or 

1111
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:30,480
talk about put up those doing a 
Facebook friends clear out post 

1112
00:59:30,680 --> 00:59:32,600
and they real and you realise 
you make the cup. 

1113
00:59:32,600 --> 00:59:34,680
At first you think great, I'm so
cool. 

1114
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:37,360
Then you end up thinking why did
this person keep me as their 

1115
00:59:37,360 --> 00:59:38,480
friend? 
They're definitely creeping on 

1116
00:59:38,480 --> 00:59:40,240
me and loving it. 
Yeah. 

1117
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:43,600
I mean people are very dramatic 
when they're like, I'm doing a 

1118
00:59:43,600 --> 00:59:46,960
call, that's it. 
Too many fucking rats on here. 

1119
00:59:47,360 --> 00:59:52,120
Too many fucking snakes on 
Facebook putting their fucking 

1120
00:59:52,120 --> 00:59:56,000
fat nose in my business. 
Me and my boy are just trying to

1121
00:59:56,000 --> 01:00:01,040
fuck and me and my boy are just 
trying to fuck and raise these 

1122
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:05,720
ferrets and have a happy life. 
Don't need you fuck get me? 

1123
01:00:05,920 --> 01:00:11,320
You can't do anything in this 
fucking town for fucking bastard

1124
01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:12,920
to pay eyes telling everyone 
about it. 

1125
01:00:13,120 --> 01:00:16,360
I'm clearing us all out and 
underneath it some, some girl 

1126
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:19,720
writes just right, missus. 
She's looking to be kept on 

1127
01:00:20,000 --> 01:00:22,200
100%. 
She's looking like she knew she 

1128
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:24,800
was at risk, so she's trying to 
make make peace there. 

1129
01:00:26,200 --> 01:00:27,680
Yeah, I think it's funny when 
people do that. 

1130
01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:31,960
It takes very little nowadays 
for I barely use Facebook, but 

1131
01:00:31,960 --> 01:00:36,480
it takes very very little for me
to delete someone from Facebook 

1132
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:39,280
now like. 
It's a cool thing that I've 

1133
01:00:39,280 --> 01:00:41,560
discovered when I'm working at 
home. 

1134
01:00:41,560 --> 01:00:46,720
Like it's like it's a Chrome 
extension, Facebook news feed 

1135
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:50,000
suppressor or something that's 
called and it suppresses the 

1136
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:51,720
news feed. 
So you only get your messages 

1137
01:00:51,720 --> 01:00:54,360
and notifications. 
And it's really handy that you 

1138
01:00:54,360 --> 01:00:56,520
don't end up like, you know, if 
you're trying to be productive. 

1139
01:00:56,520 --> 01:00:58,560
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 
You don't end up seeing and then

1140
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:00,360
looking at something like that 
and going. 

1141
01:01:00,360 --> 01:01:02,200
For what's she? 
Talking about something like 

1142
01:01:02,200 --> 01:01:03,560
that, something. 
Called Jimmy. 

1143
01:01:03,720 --> 01:01:07,560
Any good movies? 
Yeah, there there is good movies

1144
01:01:07,560 --> 01:01:09,720
mate. 
Yeah, good movies have been made

1145
01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:14,480
before and but I like right or 
wrong. 

1146
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:20,560
I deleted someone last week, 
someone that works, let's just 

1147
01:01:20,560 --> 01:01:23,720
say in local broadcasting 
because, and I might be the Dick

1148
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:27,720
head there here, but they sent 
me a message saying give this 

1149
01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:31,920
video a like obviously send it 
around loads of people delete, 

1150
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:39,680
delete, delete. 
I don't know if that's wrong, 

1151
01:01:39,680 --> 01:01:42,440
but I just don't like that and 
that intrusiveness. 

1152
01:01:42,760 --> 01:01:46,480
I'm only I want friends on 
Facebook who are real friends 

1153
01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:49,880
who are just on the same plane. 
Like let's just relax here. 

1154
01:01:50,120 --> 01:01:51,840
Let's look at each other's 
holiday photos. 

1155
01:01:51,840 --> 01:01:53,760
Let's just let's see what's 
going on. 

1156
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:55,880
Put up a picture of you've been 
on holiday. 

1157
01:01:55,880 --> 01:01:57,360
I like it. 
Let me just let me see what 

1158
01:01:57,360 --> 01:02:02,560
you're up to that kind of thing,
But don't don't ask me to 

1159
01:02:02,560 --> 01:02:05,440
specifically do things. 
Also, don't ever like, don't 

1160
01:02:05,440 --> 01:02:08,960
ever invite me to like anything.
I pro I'm 31. 

1161
01:02:08,960 --> 01:02:11,200
I probably like about 50 of 
things. 

1162
01:02:12,080 --> 01:02:13,600
I'm keeping it at that. 
I'm not. 

1163
01:02:14,760 --> 01:02:17,520
I've no space in my life to like
any more things. 

1164
01:02:18,120 --> 01:02:20,000
I like what I like. 
The last thing that got in 

1165
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:23,240
through the net, Mushrooms. 
I never liked mushrooms. 

1166
01:02:23,640 --> 01:02:26,360
Couple of weeks ago I went, let 
me see what's happening here. 

1167
01:02:26,920 --> 01:02:28,600
Tried them. 
I like mushrooms. 

1168
01:02:28,600 --> 01:02:30,720
Added to the list. 
Mushrooms of the 50th thing I 

1169
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:31,720
like. 
I'm done. 

1170
01:02:36,640 --> 01:02:39,000
Yep mate, that is not a podcast 
question. 

1171
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:43,280
Also, stop messaging me, McKay 
says. 

1172
01:02:44,480 --> 01:02:47,520
Not a podcast question, not a 
podcast question. 

1173
01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:52,600
Here we go. 
Yep, we've got a question from 

1174
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:56,040
Matthew Myrnan. 
He says for this week's big 

1175
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,560
question. 
Have you ever skied? 

1176
01:03:01,360 --> 01:03:03,520
I mean, I don't know why you're 
curious about this, Matthew, I I

1177
01:03:03,520 --> 01:03:07,280
can only assume you're going to 
ski trip yourself, but have I 

1178
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:11,720
ever skied? 
Yes, I have skied twice and I 

1179
01:03:11,720 --> 01:03:13,280
don't mind coming out and saying
it. 

1180
01:03:14,200 --> 01:03:18,120
I'm a tremendous skier. 
Like I went skiing in first year

1181
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:21,240
and 2nd year in school back in 
the days of the Celtic Tiger 

1182
01:03:21,640 --> 01:03:24,360
when everyone was just going on 
any trip you could think of. 

1183
01:03:24,720 --> 01:03:29,440
I remember 1 break time we went 
in a safari in Uganda, right? 

1184
01:03:29,800 --> 01:03:33,760
And but yes, I've skied twice 
and I really, really took to. 

1185
01:03:34,560 --> 01:03:37,680
I really took to and I was like,
I'm going to go skiing every 

1186
01:03:37,680 --> 01:03:40,360
year and I haven't been since I 
was 13. 

1187
01:03:40,400 --> 01:03:41,800
Go skiing. 
There's so much involved. 

1188
01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:45,000
I definitely go skiing again. 
In fact, when I was in Dubai a 

1189
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:48,560
couple of years ago, I went 
skiing an indoor mall and that 

1190
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:50,440
was unbelievable. 
I thought it was going to be 

1191
01:03:50,440 --> 01:03:53,400
shit. 
It was incredible and I was 

1192
01:03:53,760 --> 01:03:56,120
still really good at it. 
Like there's loads of things I 

1193
01:03:56,120 --> 01:03:58,640
try and do and I'm not get out 
like try to learn guitar 

1194
01:03:59,360 --> 01:04:01,600
bullshit. 
But skiing is just something I 

1195
01:04:01,600 --> 01:04:04,120
just picked up. 
And then I went in the indoor 

1196
01:04:04,120 --> 01:04:06,000
thing in Dubai and there was no 
one else really there because 

1197
01:04:06,000 --> 01:04:07,680
it's an indoor skiing mall in 
Dubai. 

1198
01:04:08,080 --> 01:04:11,080
And I was just like, as good as 
I used to be. 

1199
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:14,840
Maybe I should be a skier. 
Yeah, I should be a skier. 

1200
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:16,880
Yeah, skiing is great. 
Ski trips or. 

1201
01:04:16,880 --> 01:04:18,400
Brit, have you either you've 
been skiing Never. 

1202
01:04:18,800 --> 01:04:21,000
No, I've been indoor on a 
snowboard. 

1203
01:04:21,160 --> 01:04:23,280
I went to bargaining. 
At Mount Dover. 

1204
01:04:25,600 --> 01:04:28,720
At the height of it. 
And yes. 

1205
01:04:29,200 --> 01:04:30,720
The best? 
Thing about ski trip is I'll 

1206
01:04:30,720 --> 01:04:34,440
pray ski so like you're in the 
middle of nowhere, your snow 

1207
01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:37,280
just fucking snow. 
You can't get round places and 

1208
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:39,760
they usually have like we bar. 
So like late afternoon, you go 

1209
01:04:39,760 --> 01:04:43,040
for a beer, go ahead, go home, 
get changed out of your ski 

1210
01:04:43,040 --> 01:04:44,760
gear. 
Go out that night, hit the 

1211
01:04:44,760 --> 01:04:47,680
slopes the next morning. 
It's really like refreshing the 

1212
01:04:47,680 --> 01:04:49,280
next day. 
But I remember going to school 

1213
01:04:49,280 --> 01:04:53,120
trips and we can I tell you a 
story? 

1214
01:04:53,960 --> 01:04:57,040
Play that desk. 
Let me just make. 

1215
01:04:57,040 --> 01:04:58,880
Sure. 
Because we'll finish on that. 

1216
01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:01,600
What time are we out there? 
Yeah, just over an hour. 

1217
01:05:01,600 --> 01:05:03,720
I just don't know. 
OK, I have a couple other. 

1218
01:05:03,720 --> 01:05:04,920
Questions there, but I'll leave 
them the next. 

1219
01:05:04,920 --> 01:05:09,280
Week and I'll tell you guys this
story right we were on this ski 

1220
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:12,600
trip in France. 
I'm going to know more specifics

1221
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:18,040
than that and there was a guy we
used to get at the continental 

1222
01:05:18,040 --> 01:05:20,040
breakfast. 
We used to get these like wee 

1223
01:05:20,040 --> 01:05:22,840
fruit bars. 
So they're like wee mini cakes, 

1224
01:05:22,840 --> 01:05:26,600
like a wee a little tiny slice 
of cake and a plastic wrapper. 

1225
01:05:26,960 --> 01:05:32,320
But they were horrible. 
So a guy who was in my year kept

1226
01:05:32,320 --> 01:05:35,560
one and just had it in his hand 
after breakfast. 

1227
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:39,960
And we were about 12 storeys up 
in this like ski hotel. 

1228
01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:44,480
And down below us there was like
a a wee St in this wee town and 

1229
01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:47,200
had a curb, a small road. 
And then the other side there 

1230
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:48,760
was just like minds and minds of
snow. 

1231
01:05:49,760 --> 01:05:52,200
And we were all like, for some 
reason looking out like somebody

1232
01:05:52,200 --> 01:05:53,520
was like, look over there and 
blah, blah. 

1233
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:57,760
This guy was like, I'm going to 
just get this fruit loaf and 

1234
01:05:57,760 --> 01:06:00,520
just wing it out the window, 
which is the most 13 year old 

1235
01:06:00,520 --> 01:06:03,320
boy thing of all time. 
He's going to throw us out the 

1236
01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:06,440
window and everyone's like, all 
right, So he gets a fruit bar 

1237
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:09,840
and he, he just, he doesn't just
like drop it out, he throws it 

1238
01:06:09,840 --> 01:06:13,200
down. 
Now we're at least 13 storeys 

1239
01:06:13,200 --> 01:06:14,000
up. 
Could have been more. 

1240
01:06:14,480 --> 01:06:16,840
And he won it down. 
And then he walks away from the 

1241
01:06:16,840 --> 01:06:21,120
window laughing. 
Some people then look out the 

1242
01:06:21,120 --> 01:06:24,840
window. 
I, I, I swear this is true. 

1243
01:06:25,760 --> 01:06:30,800
An old lady is lying on her back
in the street with a bag of 

1244
01:06:30,800 --> 01:06:34,320
shopping down by her side and a 
wee dog beside her on Elite. 

1245
01:06:35,640 --> 01:06:39,720
He had completely cleaned her 
out with his fruit loaf bar. 

1246
01:06:40,680 --> 01:06:43,040
And then somebody else goes back
and looks. 

1247
01:06:43,240 --> 01:06:45,480
I might have been me. 
Someone else goes back and looks

1248
01:06:46,160 --> 01:06:50,360
and I swear there is a group of 
people on the street pointing up

1249
01:06:50,360 --> 01:06:52,160
and it was left. 
They were pointing to our exact 

1250
01:06:52,160 --> 01:06:54,600
room. 
And I remember us all coming 

1251
01:06:54,600 --> 01:06:57,640
away from the window, closing 
the window, leaving the room, 

1252
01:06:57,800 --> 01:07:00,880
running down the like, you know,
a common area just to pretend to

1253
01:07:00,880 --> 01:07:04,000
chill out. 
And I do not know whatever 

1254
01:07:04,000 --> 01:07:07,720
happened to that woman? 
I don't know if he killed her. 

1255
01:07:07,720 --> 01:07:09,240
Yeah, RIP. 
But RIP. 

1256
01:07:09,720 --> 01:07:11,560
I don't think he killed her. 
I think he just fucking knocked 

1257
01:07:11,560 --> 01:07:14,480
her out with a fruit loaf. 
But yeah, that's, that's a 

1258
01:07:14,480 --> 01:07:16,000
burden I've been carrying for a 
long time. 

1259
01:07:16,320 --> 01:07:24,520
And if the French PSNI, which 
are are called the PPS, I, if 

1260
01:07:24,520 --> 01:07:26,320
they want to ask me any 
questions, I'll tell you that 

1261
01:07:26,320 --> 01:07:27,920
because I remember the guy did 
it. 

1262
01:07:27,920 --> 01:07:29,080
I'm prepared to give me his 
name. 

1263
01:07:31,080 --> 01:07:34,320
But yeah, we should go skiing. 
We'll get the Patreon up and 

1264
01:07:34,320 --> 01:07:37,080
running in a couple of weeks, 
get people to send us monthly 

1265
01:07:37,080 --> 01:07:38,960
donations. 
And we'll just perform this 

1266
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:41,920
great trip and we'll go through 
it all with like head cameras. 

1267
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:44,040
That's right and. 
Just release it as as content. 

1268
01:07:44,920 --> 01:07:46,640
Guys. 
That was this week's Tea with Me

1269
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:48,520
podcast. 
If you'd like to do this favour,

1270
01:07:48,520 --> 01:07:51,360
you can go on Apple Podcasts. 
You can write and review the 

1271
01:07:51,360 --> 01:07:53,560
podcast. 
We'll just, we'll just have a 

1272
01:07:53,560 --> 01:07:55,720
nice time. 
We'll get in the iTunes charts. 

1273
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:59,000
We'll have a tea party. 
Your, your friends will be 

1274
01:07:59,000 --> 01:08:01,000
invited. 
Your children will be invited. 

1275
01:08:01,120 --> 01:08:02,880
Bring your ferret. 
All right. 

1276
01:08:02,920 --> 01:08:05,480
Thanks very much for listening. 
See you next week.