He came in with aggressive energy, didn't.
He he came in and we didn't even say anything.
We said nothing and he went don't say anything about me.
We came in in good faith on this capacity.
We were good. He you were not in good faith or
an honest capacity. I'm busy.
Today. Oh, and we we know because.
You have GPS in your phone for the place you need to go after
this and it's already sitting there.
Good to go. And he says busy.
By the way, it's not like a work thing.
What are you going to do? Golfing.
Jeez.
You were getting fitted for a driver, Yeah.
Can we say how much it would cost?
The whole package about 6:40. For a Golf Club, but I love the
way like they've stroked them by being like the full package.
It's like the Golf Club and they're like all will throw in
some like Golf Club wipes as well.
On top of that. You get the head for the club as
well, like Oh yeah. Surely you need that.
It's just a stick, yeah. Oh, they had to cover.
All right, right. I thought they meant like the
actual like. Yeah, but the club is designed
based around how I hit the ball. I see, so it was.
It was an hour and a half. And seeing him commonly.
But this is standard for golf, like this isn't this is a newer
professionals. Yeah, I've had it done before.
Like you have to pay for the appointment as well.
So it's £50 for the hour. So do you like?
People from all over Ireland go to this place like.
Do you They watch you hit a ball and then they go you need so I.
Have a golf coach, OK right, That I've been working with for
the last three months. What's he called?
Phil Philetman over Light of You.
Right, Phil The lovely fella, right?
Yeah. Are you proud of me, Phil?
Yeah, right. What do you think Andrew's text
to filler like oh Andrew text Phil too much?
I imagine Phil had to get a second burner phone and call it
Andrew and that's where all of them go because that's what I
live, a cork in the north. 50 to 10.
His wife's like fell. Please not now I.
Have to answer late at night. Yes, I have.
I. Like I'll show you.
What's the latest you text though?
So bear in mind like he's got kids and stuff.
So last night I messaged him at 8:00.
He's got an extra 1. He's a 43 year old Corkman.
So I messed him at 8:00 this morning.
Message him almost around 11:00 AM eleven AM 10 AM seven AM/7
AM, 7:00 AM oh 8:15 in the evening.
Can send it in my scores for the SO.
Disrespectful. You just have minutes.
Fill Golf. No, but conveniently that is the
surname. It couldn't have been anything
else. 5 past 9 in the evening, sending them voice notes.
And if they got a little bit, Andrew, please play a voice note
you sent them. Please, please do it.
Please hold it up to the microphone, please.
I've never played that well on a golf course with driving.
The confidence was growing after three or four holes.
Smashed the 1st hole, Smashed the 2nd hole, smashed the 3rd
hole start. I, it was just unbelievable.
I've never been so consistent with my driving.
I've set up a driving range of my backyard with Nets and mats
and I've been out there practising, practising,
practising the turning. And what I did was I, as soon as
I got to the takeaway and I hinged and went up, I went kind
of like deep, not like where the, the elbows are and the club
is going over my head really, really deep and really turning
man. And once I'm turning, it was
unbelievable. And then my short game was
really good and the guys I was playing with like they were,
they were did believe how good my driver.
Was Oh my God, I have never seen someone want someone's approval
more. When your voice notes to Phil.
Daddy, all my friends said I was really class.
Daddy, I've never, I've never played like a before.
You don't play golf, you don't get it everywhere.
Everyone that listens to this or watches the players golf are
totally on my side here. The balls you get when you're
hitting the ball. When you're hitting the tweet.
When you're hitting the sweet, you're hitting the sweet spot.
And you know what? Whatever it is, whatever makes
that makes me happy. I love it man It's great.
Could you see yourself ever meet and fell socially for like a
coffee or. And well, we're playing golf
together next week, OK, He comes on the course of me and he
watches me. But do.
You have to pay him for you have to pay him for that.
Oh, my God, it's Pretty Woman. It is the IT is the plot of
Pretty Woman. Eventually he'll be like Phil.
What about we do this and I don't pay you?
Could you ever could you ever just see yourself coming?
Mother, I'm looking to get you away from this.
Life, Phil I. Felt like my family and yeah,
felt me and you. Nice.
Great. He's a good coach and he, yeah,
I pay him for his time because he teaches me and, you know, so
he's great and he comes out in the course of me next week.
I go to him every Monday at 11 AM.
That's nice. Good.
Well, it's nice to have. Obviously, you know, we have
hobbies, football, golf. Pickleball.
A paddle? Pickleball Paddle guy?
Yeah. Either.
I haven't got dabbled in the
paddle yet, but I want to and that's going to be my.
Good. He's good, he's good.
You know by. One put the falls, Jim.
Although, although Calvin beat him the other day, he's not.
Calvin, give me a good game. Not, Oh look, if you're going to
lose to someone. Calvin's playing with the Lord
and say. Exactly.
That's why I do against one. That's why it's hard.
The the Calvin messaged me there and asked me to play golf for
them. So I was supposed to play with
him this week but I couldn't play.
So I'm playing golf for the next week so.
Calvin the all round sports man. Sippers, this episode of the Tea
with Me podcast is sponsored by none other than our good friends
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Your big gut and see now you're taking the by the way, for a
guy, he said he's taking a break from comedy.
I've never seen anyone work as much.
Oh, he's like, I'll take it easy.
And they're running up to the wedding Guys like Barry Manilow
dinner residency in Vegas. I thought you meant because
they're because I fireman low had like a wee bit of her like
that. Oh, Mandy.
Well, you can. You just can't do it.
You couldn't do this. No, I know, man.
Oh. Trust me, I know I couldn't.
Not many can't. Yeah.
How funny would it be if I got a spite perm?
Bigger and better. We just keep going bigger and
bigger. You gotta flaunt it, yeah.
Yeah, I am a big fan of as much of A laugh.
I'm a big fan of Do Me Shopping. Of what sort?
Do what makes you happy. All right, can I just say when I
rang him, when I got it done, I rang him on face.
Oh, he rang me to tell me you got it.
So like I was walking this should go Aaron look and all the
girl was. No, you video called me out of
the blue and I didn't know what was and you just as soon as I
answered it, I you you can for the next two minutes, I just I
buckle. I doubled over laughing.
I could. He what's up to me and said if
Andrew Facetimes you, answer it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And immediately, as soon as you hung up, I went please, if
Andrews calling you. Because you sent me a picture
and I was in the garden. It was really bright sunny day
and I sort of glanced them out. Remember what I messaged you?
I said, mate, that looks great and John would look great with
that. Maybe we chain we we very subtle
chain might be nice with that. But then when I turned the
brightness up my phone in the house, I really saw it.
Like that's the chain. But no see at the minute your
hands happy he's. Focused, that's all that matters
he's. He's golfing.
You know what it is doing Radio the.
Rarest The most beautiful flowers grow in the face of
adversity. All right, I'm what?
A garden. Anniversary of my up against.
I'm just saying it's a lot of adversity, life.
You know, hey, I like it. Yeah.
We love it. I like it.
Fuck it, it's going to be gone in four weeks.
Now we've got to talk about them.
We got to talk. Are you ditching the perm?
But it's going to grow out in about four or five weeks.
I've had a two weeks now. So you want to go again?
Yeah. No, I'm not going to go again.
No, I just did it because I wanted to see you.
Don't. Like it that much?
Well, I do like it, but Julie, when I got a Julie look, Julie,
Julie's words were, oh, that's different.
And I took that as a negative. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then about two or three days later, kind of grew out a bit
more. I kind of got the right gel for
it and I fit. Now it's a bit wet this morning
because I was in shower. So it's not exactly the way it
should be, But she said, oh, I can't.
That's not it. Looking sweet, aren't you?
Oh, feels like I love it. It's like Phyllis improved my
golf. Game.
He's like, yeah, he's a good lad, he's a good guy, good guy.
Help me out measurably. Andrew, you have to do.
You have to try things. If we don't try things, what do
we do? Shane, Shane.
Aaron. Yep.
Listen, I know we're all having to crack with it, but I feel
great, good. I feel I'm down 7 lbs.
I'm on a calorie deficit. I'm here if that cost you £7 a
year of job. I'm on a calorie deficit, I'm
enjoying my life, I'm having loads of crack, everything.
Golf. I'm playing golf, taking a
little bit of time off. Having a bit of time, I'm still
gay. I've got a few gigs and you.
Know what say about Andrew Ryan under ends a deprecating man.
Yeah, so. You, you, you enjoy the fun
around it. Not that I've looked deep into
your eyes. You don't.
I realise you don't. Can you speak?
Because when you initially got it, you told me there was some
like, abusive messages coming. From Oh yeah, I got some pretty
like. But it wasn't just like roasting
like trolley. I know, I'll be honest with you
like he did a great one for for Pedro.
Probably in dynamite. Yes, absolutely brilliant.
I got a lot of really good ones. Like why are you crying?
I wasn't crying. Well, I don't.
Is that if I missed? Something.
No, no, no. You're just.
I got like Fred W the serial killer and I was a bit higher.
So different. He's dead, right?
Art Garfunkel. And some of them were absolutely
hilarious. And I was reposting because like
I was totally cool with it and people were slagging me in the
comments. Listen, I'm all game for it.
Like I've must have got about 300 comments, right?
But I got four or five that were I was just like, listen, there's
having the crack and I'm well able to get the piss taken out
of me and take it. I'm totally fine with that and
I'm well able to give it as well.
Yeah, right. So you know, balance is fine,
but when someone's messaged and say you deserve to get a
punishment beaten, right? You're I am sorry.
You're your fiance slagging my fiance off, You know I.
Mean beaten. But don't tell me about Julia.
Jeremy And then there was like bald men messaging me.
And it's like going fuck off, you're bald.
But I can see them being like, but you have a chance to do
something. Yeah, You know what I mean?
They're like what? Do you mount it?
People go to Turkey and they get less grief.
Yeah, for a whole new head of hair.
Did you get for putting a few curls in it?
Like yeah, you. Know what I mean?
More than a few constant says it like I just.
Got the sides and Coco to the sides.
Yeah, Coco loves it, but that's his space, isn't it?
You're her. You can say that about barbers.
Yeah. I love that he has a back and
sides guy and a perm guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's different guys, different elements.
Different textures. Because you're saying you take
it, you like to give it to balance it out.
Would you like to say something about me and iron physically
that you maybe would have a laugh with us about?
Like would you like to say something?
Oh, but like, you're both, you're both fine, like.
Yeah, but just what are you? What would you if you had the if
you were in roast mode? Yeah, what would physical.
This whole hand thing that'll he's been on for about a month
now. I've seen you with it, with it
off. I think that's just the.
Kid at school no comes down for cast things just like just like
leaned on it a wee bit yeah gets everyone to sign it yeah so.
You know, you know, you're fine. Yeah.
You know, Aaron, you have fixy fibres in your hair.
You put. I don't put the black fibres in.
No, I don't. You can feel it by her and I.
There's no fibres. Look, they have fibres.
Come on, you put. The white powder on.
No, I put the volume powder. On I get the powder on, but the.
Powder is nice. Powder is good.
Yeah. Like I have nothing.
Like, I don't mind taking it because look, if this is a big
change, right? It's a big change.
You say that like but you made it but.
I chose the change like a doctor didn't diagnose you with that.
I know, but I chose. I chose.
I didn't come out of you, didn't come out of an SEC.
Look at a murder. What have you done?
Jude's mad. See, if we were on his stag do
and he had straight at her and we all took him blindfolded and
got him a perm, they would charge us for a hate crime for
doing. People be like I like a laughing
stag like a GIMP Boyd fit or something funny, but this is too
far. You can't promise her it'll.
Be a mistake, it'd be kind of gone, I'd say.
You reckon? Yeah.
I think it might still be lingering at this, but.
Overall, overall, overall, genuinely taking the piss side.
What do you actually think? I think.
I don't. I don't really have a huge
opinion on in that. I don't think it looks utterly
ridiculous. I think it like it's there.
Do you want? Someone said to me most.
Diplomatic politician. You know what?
Someone said to me last night, I think.
It looks a bit mad. Do you?
Want, someone said to me last night so I actually look like a
comedian. Yes, you look like a in 1970s
New York comedian. No, he looks like a prop
comedian in Vegas doing a residency at the Luxor.
That's what it is. But Carrot Top?
You know what? Carrot Top with blonde.
I don't regret. Personal top and I enjoy it and
I like it and it's quirky and it's different and it's fucking
great PR. Yeah, yeah, yes.
Oh, you've got, but where are you going to go next?
Exactly what's the next? Corn rolls, please.
Corn rolls? Oh no, please.
The Craig, The corn. Rolls.
Corn rolls, please. Member Beckham got corn roast.
Please. Like braids.
Oh no not 2 braids. Just got to let this grow out.
Please be like when a 12 year old girl goes on holiday to
Tenerife for their family. Please get the braids though.
Yeah, we bead in it, not yes. We beads at the end like you
make. Earlobes opened with the
earrings, you know. Yes, spacers.
Spacers. Yes, and like in there pierced
your septum. Yeah, yeah, that would be cool.
Like Pete, someone said to me it was in a midlife crisis.
I said yeah, it probably is, but like, embrace it.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm not doing drugs.
I'm not bought a Harley-Davidson.
But you're 43. You're past midlife.
No. Do you know what, Shane?
Don't like your tone? I'm sorry, it's all love and I
didn't. Your tone was for him last night
when I phoned you just to say night, night I.
Was in the middle of work and he was posting awards.
Oh yes. OK, so there's a trend on tech
talk of like, you know, homies calling up their homies just to
say like, look, the man is just in the bed just to say night,
night. And I phoned this guy and you
already said strip back on that. I mean, I phoned our Butler.
He said night night, have a good one.
No, no, no. What would you say?
He wasn't fighting against that. He was Aaron, Aaron Butler said
I hope you have a great say. I couldn't use it in the clip
because it was too genuine. I phoned Michael Foster, he
said. I said nine night and Foster.
He said love you. He didn't know it's being
recorded. He just wanted to say nine night
back And then when I phoned Andrea Ryan, he said this is
Andrew Ryan. I was like, I know I'm just
saying night night and you said I'm 43, but why why can why can
man of our age not one that your age.
I genuinely. Taught you were drunk yeah, I I
was like, oh, because you'd rang me in the day yeah.
And then I say he's ringing me about something right.
And then I was like yeah, yeah. What is it what is it?
Like is it something a gig or something happened or something?
Because I just. I was taking ages and I was in a
suit and I was someone looking at me and saying why, why?
I don't know man. Like I was kind of looking over
there and then I, I genuinely thought, like you, I didn't
know. I didn't get it.
I got it towards the end, but I was just like going I thought
you were in trouble or something.
But would that not be nice just to phone a friend and say no,
it's just. Completely out of your that's
what you said to your kids mate before.
Like, what would you be bringing me to say that I didn't say
night night to Julie like better?
You said that. Julie is just like, I see
tomorrow. Yeah, yeah, no, it's funny like,
but I was just like. It is on the album when a friend
rings you. If you'd done it to me, I would
have been really freaked out. Yeah, there you go.
It's out of character. I'd have been freaked.
Out if he rang it in the baby, I'd be like, you know, I'd be
like saying help something going on.
But I I didn't know. But were you?
I was just like, what would he be doing now?
Yeah. He's off the door.
Good. AP How was?
Dubai, it was an experience. It was really good.
Yeah. Hot, Hottest.
May. Middle East is like, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, the desert ever gets a
bit. Bombing but one mile from the
sun like. He arrived in the big Canada
Goose jacket beanie. But on record, it was their
hottest may they've ever had, is what I was saying.
So it was like 4546. Oh, Jesus.
It was it was nice, uncomfortable, not enjoyable
now. What are we talking temperature?
And don't give me the like 110° give me the.
The one we know. Give me our one.
Damn and false. You're laughing because I've
literally just told you the temperature.
What was it? 4546°. 46°.
Yeah, yeah, in May, in May, Like there's loads of the people who
live there. Who, by the way, is that?
The mad high one? And then you convert it into the
normal. No, the actual degrees you.
Know we had 18 last week. Yeah, well, I'd fucking turn 20
other to us. Why did you say 20?
That's what you're going to give a specific.
Number, what are you doing to get you double it?
Not 30 or something. Yeah, 115, yeah.
How do you get that typed into Google?
But there's a, there's a system. Double not the boys to figure
that. Out what was #45?
4546. You can't close.
Yeah, you have to just stay in malls, go to coffee shops, go to
the gym because. You won't go on the sun now
these days. Well, this is the other thing,
especially when the UV index is so high during the day, you
know, once it gets that level, you all just you got to shade
yourself at all times. So I was staying, there was a
pool area at the hotel. There was a lovely shaded part
of it. I was in there.
Factor 100 on all good, keep himself covered.
What would you be more scared of, UV or UVF?
The second one, I think they only exist here.
So UV is probably worldwide. Worldwide.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 46° that's like, that's not fun.
It's not. Yeah, you're, you're and.
You literally would walk to an Uber from your hotel and you'd
be sweating. On Yes, and we did that one gig
at the Aurora Sky Bar, which was 500 feet in the sky.
What time of night? At 9:00, but even still, it was
still the one of the other comedians on the English
comedian Justin he, he felt like he was going to faint and fall
into the pool and stuff when he was doing the dramatic stuff.
Yeah, it's massively dramatic to say I might faint and fall into
the. He's looking for a tech talk
clip. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tech talk comedians try a crowd working.
So how long? What's kind of set will you do?
20 minutes, just all the best hits so.
Being roasting, 20 minutes is a long.
Set outside on top of the hitting the oh man, it was that
was the hardest one in terms of uncomfortable, you know, but
actually enjoyed that one the most probably of all them just
because it was a unique sort of set and you were like outdoors
on this big roof. The palm was behind you.
Ball the once in a lifetime gig like it was class.
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And that's what you tried to do, cutting the mic because we
didn't say we're doing this in the reach, but we're doing it
Ticketmaster dot IE bigger, bolder shift.
Did you do any excursions when you're there for 10 days going?
To go to theme parks, it's going to do that whole carry on.
But then with how warm it was, I was like, Nah, it's isn't a day
to walk about and do that sort of carry on.
So I just literally hung out at malls, went pick some coffee
shops, did some work on the laptop, went to the gym at the
hotel. You're like a retired mommy just
going into the supermarket, went the shopping centre, had
coffees, workout. Gossip the water.
Aerobics Indoor. Did some video calls and all
that and then yeah, yeah. What Tinder?
No mate, no I don't have those apps.
No wouldn't be for me now the but I remember being on Tinder
years ago when I was out there. It was just full of prostitutes.
Are you off the apps? Yeah, actually, eight years
miss. Really.
Yeah, yeah. You dating someone?
No tender stock price. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The other Nah, just. But even like they're like,
could you did out there? Do you know what I mean?
As an Indian anywhere? Yeah.
But what I'm saying is even like, if you go there and you're
not married, I think people are like, you probably best not stay
in the same hotel room stuff. No, no.
That's fine, no? No, it's all good.
People have that perception of like places like Dubai because.
It's in. I just thought there was like,
if you're not married, it was seen as very different.
That's fine. No, it's fine.
I've done it. OK, Dubai, yeah, there's a
worldwide, Yeah, that's our guy 365.
Yeah, yeah, there. But that, Joe, what it was a
great learning experience to do like gigs of different cultures.
And the audiences were very crazy because it wasn't just
like English and Irish people. It was.
Everything. It was a.
Polish, Irish. Welsh.
Yeah, Scottish, all the rest, but it was Yeah.
So you had people from like America, Africa, India,
Pakistan, Australia, Europe, all in the one audience.
It was. And their second language is
English. So when you're doing the gig,
you're like slow. You feel like a TV or a kids TV
presenter because you have to really spell out the jokes for
them. But it works weirdly, you know?
But yeah, it's fun. What was your What was your
Dubai you want to be date when you're in Dubai?
I flew out to Dubai yet to go on a date with a girl.
Just for the date. For the date, just for a day.
No, you. No you didn't.
No, you, Andrew. No, you didn't.
This must have been the best date of all time.
I've not told you this, just went no.
To through to Dubai for a date. Yeah, 2015.
Right. That's like a Jeff Bezos move.
I have the. Pictures I don't believe.
No, I can't be showing that. You get, you get talking, she's
based in Dubai and then you're like.
She's based in guitar. Right.
So I was out doing gigs in Bahrain and Qatar, met a girl
who worked for the Marriott Hotel.
She was Lebanese and. Well, why would you want to date
guys? That was great.
She meets me. It all changed.
That's it man, that's all. That's all it takes.
It is a choice. Did you meet anyone?
So you meet this Lebanese lady. Right, this 2015, OK.
Just to remind you, why is 2015 so significant for Lebanese
women? You'll find out.
Go ahead. So.
It's the year it became legal for them to be a Cork man.
So I mean, I come home, she's two weeks after that, she's at a
wedding in London, I'm living there.
She messages me and says, oh, I'm in London for a wedding,
Brilliant. I'm off for five days.
We can hang out a couple of times while she's there.
I was obviously living there. Then she said to me, look, do
you want to come out to the Middle East again?
We can hang out for like 4 or five days because.
But this time when let's go to Dubai, I've got a work trip
because she works for a big Marriott.
I'm going from Doha to Dubai for a week's work.
Do you want to come out? And I went brilliant.
She started all the hotel because she works there.
After Marriott, everything was included right around.
Sweet, where do you guys stay? Marriott and then the night
before I was flying a Brookby tour.
In the market? On stage in Birmingham, walking
up to the gig, I broke my toe on the step.
Right. So I did the gig, got the train
back from. Did you still do the set?
Yeah, but I didn't read. It was uncomfortable.
I didn't realise it was broken at the time.
Right, got the train. Got got the train from
Birmingham News. What was it?
Sorry. It was a the IT was do so do you
know the one on you know the baby one on the.
Left yes, the one up from that that's the mealiest to.
The media, it's the bone going in there, right?
It was the bone. The way that's bullshit.
You said. That's it's a Trappist tool.
That is the trappiest tool. Is it?
Yes, one in from the right tool, yeah.
I get a train back to Houston after the gig in Birmingham.
I walk across Rd into the A&E. Irish girl starts me a crutch.
Get a crutch. Yeah.
Following morning for a broken to following morning.
Got a new bird out to heat from Flame.
Virgin Airways. Virgin Atlantic.
You're on the way back. Flew to flew to Dubai and hung
out with her for four days. She's married now.
Oh. All because of that.
That's class. So 4 days of Dubai didn't end
very well, but it was good. Oh was it was toe related.
Did not ended very well. No, the tone.
She was a man with like strong toe.
That was actually fine, but. In their culture and.
Just like you know when you spend.
A better time with someone and you realise we're not a
compatible man. Yeah, and the fact that she had
a boyfriend. I mean, that'll do it, won't it?
All function and toes and all. But I already found out
afterwards she's a boyfriend. Yes.
So you're. No, but I found out the last day
and I said it to her like you've boyfriend like on.
The last day, what did she do? Like a.
Really getting out as I was a bit cheeky of it to do what
you've done like. Is that why she took you to
Dubai? Yeah, I could have been killed
like, well, it was just a fun, fun trip.
Yeah, exactly. She was.
She was working in a day like, so it wouldn't even doubt.
Nice. Long way to go for a date.
I like it. I like it.
But I but I said yesterday that was that was 2015 was my year of
yes. Oh, OK.
What else did you say? Yes, in 2015.
Yes, give us, give us 3, three other things you said, yeah.
Did you make a plan to start of the year?
You said I'm just going to say yes to everything, every
opportunity. That was when.
You were not every. I calculate it was 30.
In 2015, Oh yeah, 10 years. You were 33 it.
Was 3233, Yeah. OK.
I wasn't sure if it was like age-related.
You were like. Oh yeah, when I.
Know if you do like a bucket less than 30 or.
Something age-related. Age.
Age, thank God. But maybe he said yes or that
too. Oh, you.
Know 37. I'm 36.
Right, so have you. You should do a yes here.
OK. It's brilliant.
Yeah. Everyone should do a yes here.
Just say yes to stuff. Do you want to go at last to
read? All right.
Yes. Yeah, huh.
Yes. You can still say no.
Yeah, to calculate you have a
tendency to say yes to more that you take calculated with stuff
like. So I went to a lot more football
matches. I went to some stags that I
would I've never got to a stag and I'm having a stag but I went
and I fuck it, I decided to do it like.
How excited are you for your stag?
I don't know. The the hang with Andrew is, is
that we've sort of kept him out of all the organising as much as
we can because at the start of the stag Andrew takes things
very literal. So I could make a joke and be
like, Andrew, we're going to invite the devil to your stag
and Andrew go. And then two days later phoned
me going, hey man, listen, just don't be inviting the devil like
this. Julie wouldn't like it, you
know? Where would he stay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So.
I need to tell you this because I've told Dave the devil's
coming. No, no, I've told Dave this,
Right. I rang Dave and I.
By the way, for people who I don't know, Dave and Andrew sort
of coordinate in the Steven. Aaron and so Dave and Aaron
coordinate. So I said to Dave did a day, I
rang him. He was in Dubai.
So I didn't mean so I said, Dave, listen, I really do
appreciate you doing a little bit the legwork, you know, in
the admin for the stags. What I'm going to do is as a
thank you for doing that on the night of the wedding, you and
Catherine, I'm going to pay your hotel room as a treat.
And I said I'm going to offer the same to Aaron as well.
So I said I saw you today, so if you do a nice job, you don't
fuck me up. All that guilt trip and the.
Night of the wedding, I'm going to pay the hotel room for you as
a thank you for me for doing all the admin because I appreciate
it can be a bit of a ball like so you and Dave are going to get
a hotel room on me and the night.
That's a beautiful gesture. Well, very much.
What if I I might just start arranging wild things for the
stag now. Will you pay my hotel if I don't
know? OK.
You're not, you're not involved in the arrange.
You're not, You're not. No, he can't be involved.
Yeah, No, I'm not. Well, just pay more Tory.
Pay more Tory No. No, every wedding guest at the
hotel gets a free room just because they didn't go to Andrew
Stag and do Oh. Dear.
Yeah, no, look forward to it. It's going to be crazy when
you're chained to a prominent paramilitary member at your own
stag. Jerry.
Adams, My dad's gone. Yeah.
He's never on that, Yeah. But yeah, the the only one
request I think you had was you don't want to be up early in the
morning. That's not what it is.
I. Said Let's let everyone have the
morning, like like let's meet after, let's meet at lunch or
something. Give people people and go for
run people go for swim, do their own thing.
Yeah. Because like.
Swimming on this day. No, but in the hotel I.
Know what you mean I'd. Say like you don't want to be a
lot. Of dads there as well.
Not on fucking school tour. Like yeah, like I don't want
activities. Like I don't want crafting and
fucking bird watching or fucking butchering chickens or
something. Like I'm not interested.
What? Yeah, I need to put you to one
side to say I don't want to butcher chickens on those.
Whatever. Whatever you do in a stag.
Guys, it's time for the annual. I've only been on journal, can I
just say I've only been on 2 stags in my life?
And what happened? When I went to them in 2000.
That's Richard Jenkins and both them the.
One of them, Joe did, one of them was I wasn't living in
Belfast but it was in Belfast and we took 18 lads up to the
falls. I need to do Gaelic training,
that was part. They had an afternoon doom
Gaelic and hurling training with the team up at the Falls.
Was it all English? Books, yeah, it was down that
long road down that you got the 1st.
That sounds like a left as you're going up, but it's on the
left, you go down. What's that club?
David, OH. I don't know the name of I know
you're describing. It's down the gates like a tiny
little lane, 2 pitches. And is it David?
It's just off the falls, but that was really good.
And then but it got really messy like and I was just a bit like,
don't be wrong, it was great crack.
Really enjoyed it. But I was a bit like a lot of
drinking like and I like, I love a pint of stuff, but I also like
to be reflective and just chill out.
Like on the stat? Yeah, reflective stags.
You don't even drink, So what the fuck you know?
Don't. I'm just going he.
Looks at a drink and he collapses.
Like he likes a point but it's like if I see him drinking and
like film not though. It is a rare.
Time when he I'm. Doing one day of yours, I'm not
doing a Saturday. You didn't afraid.
That's fine and. You're not even really drink how
much because you have a flight to catch and all the next day.
But we were going to be on. I changed me and Willie's
flights for me and Willie were supposed to go to New York on
the Saturday. Oh yeah.
But we aren't, and we're just going to go to Toronto.
We're getting in Toronto that evening, so our flight was
supposed to be. So you're coming on the Friday
now? Yeah, all day Friday and then we
leave Saturday morning. To go to Toronto.
But our flight from Dublin isn't until 1.
So I was going to, I was going to like we're, I think I'm
working out. We're leaving Cork at 8:00
because we're going to fly Shannon.
And then it was like we would have to go go back there and get
the car, blah blah. Anyway.
Why don't you leave the car and I'll drive your car home on the
Sunday? Very booked, but thank you.
I appreciate that gesture. Just pay for my hotel room for
your wedding. But I said to Willie, I was
like, where? I'll be getting you up at 8:00
AM on the Saturday. That's not too bad.
But he can sleep. He can sleep in the car because
before that it was going to be us.
We were going to leave it like. 4:00 AM Yeah.
You'll be able to drag him out? Yeah.
It's all right. I just put them in the golf
compartment. I'll be.
A bit a bit of like like lining in it, you know, like you know,
like a bit of like nice lining in there for like you could.
Sleep in the back. Who's not that tall?
No, especially the Ozampic night shrunk them.
Yeah, he's. He looks great.
He's tiny little I'm bringing him his Calvin luggage.
Yeah, and you still got space, you put.
Them in that we. Think yeah, still get your whole
clothes in there. So I like, I like one day on the
stag. Perfect.
Perfect for you, Yeah.
Perfect, Yeah. Two would have been good, but
one as long as I'm not missing I'm getting a full day and
night. Waking up, having breakfast the
next day, that's good by me. It's good.
It's gonna be a great time. We're.
Gonna have a great time. We've got 1617 coming in one
night, this 14 the next night to 16.
Because you know, everyone like you, You know, I appreciate
comedians. Afraid you're gassed him to take
a full weekend off as well and also people are dads and like my
brother on the Saturday has to bring us my nephew to a match
like so he's what? You're going to say to the stag.
Yeah, that'd be cool. No, he has to bring my nephew to
a game and Limerick and then come back.
So I understand people's requirements, you know, but
it'll be good crack. Yeah, Phil has to coach and
stuff. No, he's like fell me and you'll
just go out for dinner for my stag or something.
These boys are animals, Phil. Yeah.
You'll never have a stag with you.
Or a Phil. I'm a golfer, a friend, I've got
a coach. It's.
The same as a personal trainer lad, same as a PT.
You've never got to a PT. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, look at me lifting. Lifting.
I'm lifting the. Weight.
I'm a big, strong boy. I'm a big, strong boy.
I'm a big strong guy. Look at me lifting the weights.
I'm trying to lose my body. Fine.
I'm from the West. Fuck off.
I'm a big strong boy with my fucking little jokes.
Is this you doing like a self hate thing?
That's that's. You in the That's him doing me.
Oh yeah, yeah. Pickleball.
Oh, like the ball's gone over the.
Net I can't call into your head. Literally.
It's eating into the brain. Yeah, but you.
Yeah, you will. Do you know what?
Can I? I'll tell you something.
Something's going. To happen with him in a couple
years. He'll get married.
He's going to get married. Do you know?
What? Something's going to happen.
He's going to meet someone. Yeah.
And his whole life you have been this way.
There's no way that's happening. No partner, no kids, no nothing.
But you're going to meet someone and I tell you something, you're
going to fucking do a full 180. He's soften the bit 360 he yeah,
I know you come back to the way he was originally.
No, he, he, he changes dance here and there, you know, you
know, he's a wee bit like, he's a bit like Zelanski at the start
of the war with Russia. He's like, there's no
compromise. There's no peace.
There's no nothing. They're not there.
And you know what it's like? No Crimea.
Some people are like, maybe, maybe give them correct Crimea.
And he's like, look, just shut up.
We'll see. Do you know what I mean?
He's like, he's genuine. He lets someone leave a wash bag
in the house. He let a girl leave her wash bag
over. Yes, yes, he's starting to
write. Here, I'll put the key under the
flower pot. Yes, he's starting to give
access. Yes.
Yeah. Are we?
Are we right there, Aaron?
Butler will get married. Are you seeing?
Anyone at the moment? Are you sure?
Positive. Yeah, your body language very
guarded. Look at that.
Because I'm in. How that's a barrier?
I'm. The barrier's entry.
That's too open. I'm an enigma, right?
You know, at the end of the day, I'm just happy living my wee
life the way I'm living it now. Yep.
And if something happens in the future?
He's now open. But I'm open to.
But I'm open. To He's a jar.
He's a jar. I'm.
Open to whatever in life, you know what I mean?
Do you certain extent? What's Aaron Butler not open to?
Gay sex with men as opposed to. With women.
But like, yeah, but look. But look, maybe who knows, you
know what I mean? Maybe I'll go on the stag.
Things will change. My dad didn't need pizza until
about 10 years ago and I loves it.
That's what I'm saying. But we're all we can all change.
I didn't mean first Indian until I was 35.
Yeah, I mean, you had the food. Food.
Is good. I would never jumped in see if I
could eat anything. I do like Indian food, but it
wouldn't be one of my go to. But I I find for like dietary
crimes and stuff when you, most Indian restaurants I've been in,
if it's part of a group here going there, the boys will bend
over backwards for you. Like they'll be like, we can
make this no problem. Yeah.
They should what do you get in an Indian with your?
Cokes here hugely. Just said plain white.
Rice I'll, I'll get like a, I'll get like a rice and a chicken
and they'll do me some kind of sauce.
But I used to see when I worked in a call centre, I used to get
onion bajis and now just. A couple of I love a Nan.
I love a Nan. Can I ask you a question?
Just sort of go back to your topic there.
Did you have sex with a man for £1,000,000?
I'm not. I'm not in a like. £1,000,000
cash in cash. Do you mean you have to bottom
form? You flick a coin.
That's that's what it's way weirder because then if I'm
forced to top for him and I can't, you know, get the boy
going. To have sex with a man for
£1,000,000. I would say no.
And nobody would ever know about.
It I would say no. 1. Over underground.
I'll do that, Joe. What?
Yeah, but you don't. But you have to look at it.
Well when you say look at it and him in the eyes, are it OK?
Bought all the eyes. Yeah, no problem.
And I do cheek kisses, part of it on top to rub his back.
Courtesy. Yeah, just as a wee bonus.
I wouldn't know who wouldn't rub the back.
You do. Cheek as we wouldn't rub the
back. It's more sensual to rub the
back then we kiss and cheek. Yeah, I suppose.
Like, yeah. But yeah, no problem like that
would be fine but. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The sex bits, the. Hard part million paying cash.
Yeah, would be nice. I lived with a gay guy for a
couple of years and then. I'm what?
He offered. Manchester I need a long term
partner, you know, and lovely people are still like really
nice people like and I asked him a few.
He took me to I went to two Prides when I was about this is
2006, London. It was the year of maybe year of
Prides. It was the year of definitely
not, but I went. To I went to my girlfriend at a
time. We all went to Manchester Pride,
you know, on Canal Street and never been to a Pride before.
I was only 23 years of age, 24 years of age, never been.
And I must say, like I always try and go to Belfast pride and
stuff. I've been to London pride
because it's such great fun and like you can when you learn
about the gay scene and stuff like that, like like it's
really, really it's really fun scene.
Like, you know, I'm a heterosexual male as of that,
but the great crack like it's good fun, really enjoyed.
It, I mean, at the end of the day you walk on a bit of disco,
there's a bit of UV painting, some alcohol.
That's going to be a great time. And there, you know the pink
pound. They call it the pink pound.
Censor because it's because they're pruned are like couples
same sex couples don't have usually in stereotypical fashion
don't have kids or as many kids or whatever not as many adopt so
they have more money than money spent.
So it's called the pink. It's.
Called the pink pound. So like, you know, gay couples
contribute a lot to economy because they, they go out more,
yeah, they don't have kids, you see, sort of more disposable
income. So the pink pound is a very, you
know, it's very valuable. Like it's valuable.
The pink pound is up today. Yeah, it's a crypto coin and
Andrew's launching. Yeah.
Yeah, Andrew for your sort of you're calling this a little bit
of a break from like say Turin, for example, is there any other
little hobbies you've got into on the side from golf?
Like any, any new thing you're doing that you're like, I wasn't
doing that before. Whether it's a a cuisine or you
cooking or you. But I'm working, I'm back
working with the nutritionist now.
So I'm doing the calorie deficit, I'm lifting more
weights, golfing, spending a lot of time with Julie, doing up the
house. Many calories you on a day so.
I'm on, I was on maintenance up for two weeks.
I'm on 9/19/50 with exercise and then maintenance is about two
one so but I've been well under it.
You've got you're on 1950 with exercise, but you're on 2100
with me, no. I was on maintenance about 2150
for the first two weeks. Now I'm down to 1950 with
exercise or three gym sessions a week or when I play golf.
I don't do a gym session day trans I just.
No, What's your weave? I say.
You're not dieting when you're when you're playing around the
golf, what snacks you bring them, right?
You like dairy, Lee Dunker. You love.
You know what? I.
Love. This guy loves don't.
Do you love Dairy Lee dunkers? No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
You were. Yeah, I've seen Eat them loads.
Oh, you've done that was that was in the past.
Be honest, Be honest. That was the year I.
Could really don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's OK. Do you find you feel like funny
or something? You look like a fun snack.
You look funny. Like, do you giggle when you're
eating? No, he does.
Will you do a laundry ball? Oh yeah, I do a What's the red
one? The red circle.
Baby bells love a baby bell. Never do that when you're.
Doing what I love. I love a waggon wheel, A red
waggon. Oh, I waggon wheel fig rolls.
Yes, quick pensioner. Dip, dip him in the tea and.
Fig rolls are a very soft. I love, I love when it gets all
stuck around your gums and you go, oh.
No. Do you ever, do you ever break a
Twix? And two, you know, you take the
caramel off the top, but you keep the biscuit.
Well, that's so. We've been perverted when you
eat the caramel off the biscuit of a Twix.
Oh, it's amazing. I'll see.
You're really purview of biscuits?
No, not purview. Biscuits, Jaffa Cakes.
What do you could eat that I need a full Jack of?
I need a full box of Jaffa Cakes in one sitting.
Like Full Moon, but they tune. Full sitting.
That's a lot of calories. A food package, but that was
back in the day. Now I'm more like what I love.
No protein yoghurt with a small tub of smarties.
You know there's more sugar in a banana than there isn't a small
tub of. Sparks, but that's natural.
Sugar is not processed so good you I eat 3 bananas a day.
Yep. Good for you.
My advice is the point. Do you not believe me?
I'd imagine you've you've a lot of bananas at home.
Like you seem like the kind. Of I have bunches.
But I'd say you're a week. Do you do a weekly shop?
Me personally. Do the food?
Like do you do a weekly shop in the house?
No, it does a weekly shop and then we'll get bits and pieces
when needed. So you just pop into the shop
and pick up the milk and the bread and all that?
Yeah. OK, so you do a big week.
Do you do a weekly shop? No, I'm a day by day I.
Do banana runs as well? I do separate banana runs like.
I just where I just. Go to your bananas.
Yeah, you're easy day by day. I walked down to my local
Sainsbury's on the Glen Rd there.
Suppose you have to pass time because you know you'd be on
your own a lot like. That's it.
Yeah, you do. You do.
Yeah. Especially because it doesn't
take me that long. Do the hair.
And no, that would take. That would take.
Can I just say this doesn't take that long to do it because it's.
Fixed. It's in a fixed position.
Because you've been trying to unfix it for the last two weeks.
My hair is fucking great, man. It is.
It's a. Conversation, it's conversation
started. OK, continue with the pod.
All right, so we'll carry on. Yeah, I when I play golf the old
time, I I liked getting like sweeties and all.
I'm bringing them in the golf Jelly babies, Cat cat chunky.
No, I'm more of the. I like the old.
Parts what I had. Yeah, but I don't like that.
You're not me. You're not allowed.
Why it should be all go and play golf for there for the crack.
I never packed up a clothes. Come out, we get a buggy.
We drive Rd. We did 9 nose.
We take an hour and a half, a bit of crack, play Blackwood
parts. We've got the Clandy Boy.
I have a course, small course, nine part, 99 holes.
There we go to the Blackwood Part 3 bit of crack.
Did you phone an emergency there doing an?
Option right now. Do you want me to bring Phil?
Yeah. Phil, Phil, my mates are dying
to meet you on the course. Phone as we parking, Yeah.
He's a good guy. Andrew's carrying his bag on
Phil's bag. Yeah.
Wait, wait, don't we go? Yeah.
Do you know what I need to do before I need to go to all them
driving ranges and? Let's go to a driving range
first. Because I've never, I've never
hit. It I'm not willing to do 2
separate trips for I know. Well, I'll go to the driving
range on my own. Let him go to the driving range
and then we'll. Play Me and Him will go driving
range next week. Yeah, we'll organise it too.
But how long are you in America for?
Oh, like a couple of days. Right.
OK, perfect. OK, brilliant.
Well, we'll probably do it probably when you come back.
Yeah, but we'll have to. We've got a bit of crack in it.
Yeah, I'll show you my swing. In a week out, have you got the
app on your phone that shows you the line when you hit the ball?
I have every app. Of course he does.
I have everything right that's class.
I'll bring the drone. You see, I used to play golf for
years and years and years, right up to 2021, and I was playing
two or three times a week. When I was 14 I took it up.
Was working in the Golf Club at home, a car collecting glasses
in the back. When I met you, yeah.
But then from 2021 when I moved here, I stopped for a couple of
years because I did 2 towards back-to-back and I've only just
kind of properly gone back to it after about two years.
So for the last two years, you've probably obviously never
has really noticed that I've played that much any golf.
But now I'm, I'm actually going back to where I was, yeah,
because I'm afraid of a bit of time and it makes me like.
Sometimes when I have, I play very easily, But when I haven't
played in ages and then the first time I go back to it, I'm
unbelievable, Yeah. And I'm brutal every other time
I play, yeah. Because sometimes you can
overtink it as well. Like just won't just be natural.
Yeah, Germany, you know. But getting the buggy is the
main thing. Yeah, I want to get a buggy.
I remember snacks a job one time driving that up and down for a
golf TV ad years ago. Like it was about 1213 years
ago. I was doing who was on the golf
ad? Darren Clark.
Yes, he he was like in the advert was for Sky TV.
And my job was literally just to drive the buggy up and down, up
and down the whole course, like all day, just bringing them
stuff. His class.
Oh, so you didn't have lines that you were like a runner part
of the. Ads just a runner and they just
give me the card more like that's your card that's.
A dream. Job Oh, it's called golf Carties
are. Grateful.
Yeah, yeah, they're, they're class, but I didn't know the
etiquette. Like I didn't know you're meant
to like, stop when people are taking shots and stuff.
Oh, yeah, yeah. So I was just, I was just, I was
just joyriding it. Yeah.
Yeah, there's a lot of education, golf like.
Yeah, that's too much. That's what I'm too much.
That's the problem. You have to cut.
If a ball is going to hit someone in the head, you have to
like shout them and warn them. Yeah, weird, but that's why you
probably love it like you love the, you love the you love that.
There's hard rules in there. Yeah, I love the rules.
I love the discipline of it. If.
You ever hit last question? You ever hit somebody with a
golf ball? No, I've been hit though.
Where this explains So I got hitched.
On the third tee, it's Ferrell and Golf Club in Saint Albans.
I'm walking down the turn to hit a drive down and a guy is up
there on the 6th, the 16th, and there's trees along separating
the two fairways and he hit it and he shouted for and I just
went like that. And I said, well, that it just
bounced in front. Of me.
I love that he went like this. Now you can't go like that when
they shout for you can go that you can.
Now there was no mark or nothing.
I was like, oh Jesus, I didn't fall or anything, but he came up
and he was like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry.
His eyes went, man, you're all right the way, but like he
didn't hurt me or anything, whatever way.
The bounce obviously killed a lot of speed.
Like the word. Hit you.
Just just just like right here, it bounced and then hit you.
It bounced and. Oh, go, go, go.
So it broke a lot of speed. The bones killed the speed a
bit. How would it hurt me like?
How was the charity football match?
I missed missed it. I and Joe Odd I have never had
formal as much in my life. I forgot that we hadn't talked
about it. Then that moment I I because I
was in Dubai, I was like looking back and.
Going It was absolutely unbelievable.
It was brilliant, it was nerve wracking, It was fun.
It was she did just a couple of moments where like said the ball
was out of play or whatever and just looking around, taking a
lot with trying to take it in. It was magic.
It was so good and and tell you what, we actually did not
embarrass ourselves. We put up a good show.
We. Acquitted ourselves well, to be
fair, at the very end we had 19 players on the pitch for our
team and three goalkeepers and they scored twice in that time.
And but for the most of the game, like we started well and I
was just, it was insane. It was brilliant, it was so
good. Will happen again next year.
Yes. I do something.
Hopefully I'm here actually. But the evening do we were did
so we're in the last had. To do stand up for the evening.
Yeah, so they did it last year and they were like, it's a bit
weird because you're on stage, the Legends set a like a top
table and then you've got the audience.
So you're behind them though, so you're doing stand up to the
backs of their heads if they choose to turn around.
It's like The Voice and then you've got the audience and
Andrew Ryan went on 1st and no better man.
They kick it off because he just started getting into the
players. So here's the thing that I
started to get worried up all Premier.
A lot of Premier League footballers have like some sort
of tabloid thing at some point of their career, whether it's
drugs or fairs or money or whatever.
Yeah. And I obviously.
There was a few key players on there too that.
I know so much about football that I know about who you played
for. I know about your personal life
and whatever I've read, I have that knowledge.
I know Antoine's a big football fan, but not necessarily knows
like the the minutiae of football.
So when he starts doing crowd work for the players, my heart
goes into my forehead. I'm like, please, God, because
this man's taking swings. Oh, yeah, but he's just taking a
swing at a player and he's like, blah, blah, blah, whatever.
But he's going so close to the wind and he doesn't know it is
the thing. And the players, do you know
who? Really made it work was Jermaine
Pennant, because he sort of like really turned his chair around
to watch and he was visibly enjoying it all.
So that helped because otherwise you'd have been watching the
players and it would have been a bit tense.
But he was basically making it all right for the players to
like just watch us and enjoy it. He went on.
I was, we had to fill like half an hour and I was kind of
worried. I was like what if this is shit
because no one really knows it the stand up it seems like a
good idea but is it going to just be?
Like the right environment, like.
The wrong environment. It was unbelievable.
Class That's great, that's good. Me, him, Geordie, Rob, Johnny
Bowen, Tommy, everybody had a great time.
At one point the players were going to like Berbatov was
there, but kind of like just like on his phone at the top
table. And there was a moment where I
saw I looked at the crowd and saw a mirror that was pointing
at a mirror that you'd see him because there's pillars all over
the place. And he was like enjoying a
little bit a joke of mine I have about football.
And that was like, that was one of the coolest moments of my day
where it was like, he's not physically vomiting at this.
You know what I mean? Like he's he's half enjoying it.
But stand up saying there was an auction.
Tommy McCarthy. Tommy had a few pints.
Tommy Mccarry. Tommy calls to the auction, and
it was worth. Admission money, yeah.
Got it. It wasn't filmed.
He was roasting the auction prizes and the company were like
no talk like that's the opposite of what we need to be doing.
But it was hilarious 2. Tickets to Man United in a
suite. Why do you want to go there?
For the fucking shit. Tommy's like that shit, you
shouldn't be bidding for it. And they're they're freaking
out. It was amazing.
So funny it.
Was brilliant. The meeting was great.
To me it was great. I like just you guys are
organising it. It was kind of serene.
I think there's a few things that have happened in the last
few years. You think that if there was no
Internet or cameras, yeah, I don't think anyone would
believe. Well that's what I said.
Me and Tony in between the match and the evening do we're trying
to get a coffee. So we're walking around, I'll be
centre trying to find somewhere open for a coffee.
And I was like, I ran into lovely guy Kieran, who works for
Kieran Quinn, works for the IFA, and I was chatting to him and
his partner and he's like, oh, small talk, what are you
happening on? I was like, you wouldn't, but he
might not believe me if I say what I was doing.
An Oracle. Yeah.
I was like Verbatol there and scored a penalty and everything.
And then, you know, Jermaine Pennant, Stellian petrol wiped
me up with a big tax. Sounds like compulsive line.
Yeah, Yeah. But they even do.
Was brilliant. So I had a meal.
I had again A0. Right.
And how do you feel about? I've had one of those before.
Lovely. Guinness would have been my
tipple. But.
It was like it's been a dream day.
I'm having a bit of gluten. Yeah, that's how you know it's
been a real peak day in your life, because you never.
Know alcohol free only one I was driving but only 10 but it was
just such a dream day and I left at exactly the right time as
well I. Left 5 minutes after we left at
the right time. It was brilliant.
But also the night before we did tea with me at the SSC and I was
just like going he said something to me.
Because I imagine if you were talking to her neighbour or
something, what were you doing? Artist at the arena and then
those gigs do one believe? You like I said, I have like
somebody lives near me. There's no concept of what I do.
An older person always kind of like feller in, but you don't
know, I know the crack and I was like, but imagine like are there
the arena on Friday and then Saturday we're putting us all
the Premier League players down at the stadium and then Sunday
was doing a gig and money got it was just.
Like he sells drugs. Yeah, yeah.
She's like, oh, aren't you great?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you. Keep dreaming.
Yeah, it's a lot of the penalty. Bottom left.
I was captain, had the armband though.
OK, You know, like it's it's surreal, like, isn't it?
I loved it. Like it was just, I mean, I got
20, I did 20 minutes. I'd go off and do a show, but
just to run around, like went up to Berbatov a couple of times
just going in here, just going in here.
Like you touch the. Movement and the way they
walked. The ball oh, during the match
you. Physically can't get near them,
yeah. You could literally go up and
stand right next and physically stand right next to them, right?
Yeah. Berbatov, he kind of.
He jogs, always moves into space, even when he doesn't have
the ball, he just moves into space and it's like they're in a
triangle all the time, right? So he's always open to getting
the ball and then once he gets the ball, like he knows where
that ball is going before he's got that ball.
Ryan Giggs was not looking I'm passing the people with the
outside of his foot like the ball was coming to him and he
knows where the passes and you because still I was saying down
like still in petrol of like white mirror with a tackle.
To be fair, profusely apologise after and he gave a speech at
the evening thing and it was incredible, one of the nicest
guys in football. But when he wiped me over a
tackle I was like, I'm going to like I'm going to tackle him
back, like I'm going to get him back.
You couldn't get him. God knows what, he's still in
Petrovis. I couldn't get anywhere near
him. That's crazy.
And Ryan Giggs, like I was like, it'd be, it'd be great to like
try and get the ball off him. At one point, Ryan Giggs was
running towards me. Say he was at that wall there
and Berbatov was just over there.
Ryan, you know, I could see he's getting bought and he was just
going to pass it, right. But I, I just kind of looked at
him on fuck trying gigs. And I kind of started to run and
as soon as I from the minute I said I must go, the ball was
gone. Yeah.
So that's what it is. You're running forward and.
You're the penalty. What was your highlight of the
game? What did you contribute?
What was the big tackle and two passes?
Did someone take you out? I've seen a few funny photos.
And I had a few passes, didn't get much action, but I had a few
passes mostly running after them and unable to catch them.
Hot as well, like the. Thing is, look, I don't play.
I love soccer, I love football. I love it and I study it and I
go to games, but I don't play it right.
But but when you're in it, you go right.
The adrenaline is keeping you going and you've seen it a lot
of the time. I was just kind of watching them
just be footballer and they're trying to keep the load.
Just watching them go fucking look at that.
Look what he's doing with the ball.
Like, you know, it's very it's very odd.
Like it's a beautiful, it was a great team.
And you know what with the Reese McLennan, Reese McKee, Miss
McKee centre back, a beast. You know, things watching, you
know what's really good? Watching someone like Paul
Hughes, who's an unbelievable fighter, unable to be good at
something. I'm not saying he's a bad for
but like you. Call him Paul Hughes.
No, but what I'm? Saying it's going to fix it.
That's not what I mean, You know what I mean?
You know what I mean? Paul is not a footballer.
So to see someone who's an elite sports person unable to kind of
be in control when he's probably used to being in control.
I know exactly what. You see what I'm saying And.
Like a lot of us would play football, like play club
football, take themselves as fit.
You're not fit. You're.
You're not even .1% close to that like different and at that
you sort of think where they're you sort of think well, this
even itself out with their age, you know what I mean?
And the fact that they're the fact that we'll be in 5th gear
in terms of desire and they'll be in first gear.
It's it's doesn't come close because at any point they could
have just went let's play properly.
They could have, they could have played properly for 30 minutes
at 4th 5th gear. They could have, they could have
said last, let's do 20 minutes of top level now.
Yeah, they could. Messy, messy member.
Messy always said never unders. Never underestimate the
importance of walking on a football pitch, and some of them
did and you took that really scale.
But you see the Berbatov, just the way he walked.
I. Always walking into space.
All he did was walking. I'm I'm I'm pretty fast runner,
right? And like we're thinking to
myself as like fit, especially for my age.
Jermaine Pennant had the ball at one point and he was like
jogging with it, like just running to look for a pass and I
was from media your way and he's running bubbles run that way.
And I was sprinting at top speed and I never got closer to him,
You know what I mean? I was like, I'm Sprint.
I knew in my head I'm when I'm sprinting and you're not
sprinting, so how am I nowhere near you?
But it's just that they're athlete.
They're. The brain, the brain, the way
the way the brain works, the way they do their goal about their
business, you know, like it's just, it was brilliant to see
it. Like I listen.
Fair play to you. It's mad when you just when you
really take it in, you're like, they like Berbatov's won
Champions League, United didn't even champions.
League top score for Bulgaria. They played it like World Cups,
I'm sure you imagine and you just, you just, you just look
over and and he's going up for a header with Neil Delamy.
You know what I mean? You're like the evening thing,
you know what I mean? You're like, you're like still
in Petrov captain Celtic to so many trophies played into the
amazing stadiums in the world and he's sitting in the
Lansdowne. Yeah, you know, watching Johnny
Paul fired a few one liners. It's funny you just called in.
You do 5 minutes of open mic in the pav 15 years ago and look
where it gets you. You would have been.
Tommy McCarthy's opening joke at the stand up was are you doing
guys? You're all right?
Probably tough a Jimmy Pocket all day.
And it was just like the tour, like he did like, you know,
like, it was just so funny, like.
It was great. It was really great.
That's anything you, I know you're on a little bit of a
break, but you did. I know you got to go here.
Q Radio did the live show, the live was brilliant.
We're in Derry tomorrow and then in September we're in Newry, so
tickets are available for Newry and I'm announcing my new tour
September October. I'll be in the SSE Arena and my
brand new show Hold Me Back on the 24th of April.
What you 20? 26 end of April 2026 Hold me
back SSE Arena tickets are already on sale.
Are you serious? Yep.
Just like. No one saw someone.
Just drops it like. Drop it like. 2020. 6 doesn't
even say amazing. What about that?
That's just dropped it. There it is, it's out there.
Brand new show. Come along SSE Arena.
Take it on T on the link below on Ticketmaster.
Brand new show Hold Me Back, She and Todd, SSE Arena, Belfast,
2026. Can't stop.
Live Stop. Aaron Butler.
Anything. I'm hopefully going to announce
something over the summer here, waiting to confirm.
He is a He's officially a dad before.
We go. That would be a real nun.
Before we go, let me ask you 5 yes or no questions about it
all. Right.
Is it a live stand up? Tour.
Yeah, it's not tour, but yeah. Is it a live stand up show?
Yeah. Is it in Belfast?
Yes. Is it a venue you've done a solo
show in before? No is I know.
Is the name of the venue also the name of a a prominent South
African politician performance? Not even.
Opera House. No, that's not one of my
questions. I have one more question.
OK, so it's not Lavries and it's not Mandela Hall.
Gosh, oh God, where we're going. Right.
Is it? Black box.
It's green room black. Box.
Is it a theatre? So it's a yes or no question
this. Yeah.
Yeah, is that I can only answer yes or no.
OK. Is it, is the capacity more than
500 people? Yes, Opera House, I know what it
is. Here, TuneIn to find out this
summer, big guy, but also right in the panel show that I have
BBC Seven, that's coming up that as well.
Never mind Opera House, my Ulster Hall.
No Opera House. Is it operate?
We'll see. By the way, I don't want to say
yes. Because at the theatre.
But it's not confirmed yet. I'm trying to.
TBC. We can say TBC.
TV asterisk percent, but one saying is they might not
confirm. That's a good man.
Go for it. We're we're hopefully.
OK, and final show of TV me Patreon Patreon on the com slash
TV me podcast bonus episodes on Monday live stream on Friday.
All of our special ad free early access ad free episodes and
Tuesday. Thank you very much to Aaron
Butler and Andrew Ryan, two lovely guys.
Here's what Phil Oh, hit his perm.
Phil, I banged my head.