I have a Chinese Red Bull. Here can you read that doesn't
look like Chinese writing. Like, Nah, you know what your
house is. Is it Russian?
I get some windings. We'll give it back to them.
Zippers, welcome to this episode of the Podcast with me, Shane
told. Before we get into this episode
and let me tell you a couple of things, but a couple of things
#1 Patreon, patreon.com/tea with me podcast.
You know, we do, we do the bonus episode on a Monday.
You know, I would do, we do the live stream on a Friday
sometimes. It's the Lazy Boys podcast with
William, the great comedic talent of William Thompson and
Mickey Bartlett. There's all specials on there.
There's everything. I'm on tour Shinto comedy.com,
I'm going all over the place and we're hopefully all about a
Middle East dates and North America.
But I'm not. Allowed to.
I'm doing the Afghan fringe. I'm not doing the whole Middle
East. Just let people know there's
two, there's two, maybe three, maybe 3, the Barcelona.
So I got to tell you about our sponsor before we get into this
episode #1 we're sponsored by none, none other than North VPN.
Mike, what's making what you'd be the best mind for this?
What's not? What is North VPN?
That's it. I love looking at the ease all
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If you, if you're in Afghanistan, if you're.
In the Middle East for example, you know what I mean?
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No, you don't know. It's not a physical thing.
It's not. It's not.
It's a virtual virtual. Yeah, because I know it's a
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Virtual, yeah, Private network. That's a good somewhat.
Some of these other VPNs you're carting them about, you're
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You could be in Afghanistan watching Heartbeat.
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Actually have it in Afghanistan, but it's dubbed over.
Yeah, called green grass. It sounds mental, but they do
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Whenever I was in the holiday, I was trying to watch the EUR.
I was in Spain, but. That's expensive.
And I said that Nord VPN. Not spend too much, yeah.
Yeah, it was very good now. I said Nord VPN, I mean the UK
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I can see you're is like the the reverse Sharon Stone and basic
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Yeah, Sharon Stone. Yeah, it's Afghani version.
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Douglas OH, For some reason I thought you were pronouncing the
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I didn't know who he was. Yeah, manscape #1 immense below
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teasant? What?
Pardon, What's? Your teasant, your team.
That you test I test your balls doesn't also is it good for to
not but your teasant Yeah, right.
Listen. As you test it.
Not just your whole body though. No, your ball.
No, he I know exactly what you mean.
He's talking about this area, which it doesn't either.
I test. Test your balls, does your
asshole? Well, I'd say that's why it's
called a tent. So the American said.
But obviously, we're not Americans.
Why do they say tent? Because.
A tent your balls change your asshole.
No, it's not. That's why.
That's why it's a. It's slang.
Tent your balls, no. Who's running the talking like?
Your balls and it ain't your ass.
But who's talking like that nowadays, Tent?
Well, I mean, there's loads of words that we said now that you
get, you know, people don't say anymore.
Go ahead, not gonna say them. You don't say them anymore.
Like balderdashers 1 balderdash. You heard that Yeah.
I mean, flabbergasted Yeah. Speaking of your flabbergasted
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scrotum looked like Philips. Go for his career just tatters.
Well, if it was, you know, but back then, oh, we do it probably
look great. His career up until.
Yeah, that's the thing. I wasn't using Monty.
I was using another cheek knockoff.
Yeah, Fell escaped. Yeah, Philip, whoever he is.
Phil. Escaped.
It was actually. Phillips I was going to say it
was a Phillip. Yeah, no, no, but it wasn't the
company. It was a fella called Philip.
I know. But it's do we know is Scofield
linked to? Phillips.
Phillips the the the brand. Maybe it's Phillips, Phillip,
it's not coming. I'm taking.
Off get the 10 for that. That's right.
Yeah. See during COVID you could have
been talked into any theory. Not any theory.
Any. Theory, most of the theories
involved right here don't get patients at that in the morning.
Theoretically, yeah. Virtual quiz and.
Also physically 100% that's fucking dude.
My guess this week? Or none other than Mickey
Bartlett and Aaron Butler. How would you describe your
outfit? I know.
He's, he's had a. Hannibal actor at the end of the
lamp, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
That's what it is. I'm having my friend over for
dinner, Clarita. No, because you'd be able to say
it. You're doing your version of it.
I don't think I can. I've never tried it.
You're natural. Yeah.
Is that good? Yeah, that's good.
Thanks. In Disneyland.
You look like a cop trying to blend in a spring break.
Yeah, you know that you want to buy the plans for Jurassic Park.
Yeah, yeah, you look like, you look like your granddad was the
guy around Jurassic Park and you're a tech talker who's
trying to take it over now. If I was like 85 would this be a
good outfit then? Yeah.
Do you know it's, I like it to be honest with you.
I mean, the patterns are slightly off, but that's that's.
Primark. For you, it'll annoy me over
time is. This a set.
This is a full Primark set, really, for outdoors.
For outdoors, Yeah. These are like swim shorts, I
think. Very tight.
Do you know it's bad leaving the house like it's in your
neighbours, seeing you don't have a suitcase with you.
Doesn't look great. Yeah, it's worse if you leave
the house with us, in case there's human hair hanging out
of the zip. I mean, that's worse than any.
So just cut yourself lucky. Yeah, yeah.
By the way, boys, I put away anywhere.
Nice. I I have a.
Chinese Red Bull here. Let's go say any jokes.
Funny man. I would love it.
Like if you might have me before I knew what I was doing, I mean.
I would love it. If we could sell it, I am
genuinely. If you relocated to China and
we're just known as funny man, I would love that.
Yeah, you borrow the funny man. This is four times the strength
of normal Red Bull. You're going to shit over that.
You'll be high. You won't sleep at night.
Don't. Want me to drink?
I do want you to drink it. Down it, down it, down it.
Not down was it? Wow.
Holy shit. Fucking my herpes can't.
Do you have do you have herpes? Probably no, but if you don't
get cold sores, you don't have. I don't.
Terry Wogan, He wore a wig. Oh, herpes.
But he said herpes. Sorry, what?
I haven't talked to anybody all day.
That's a duo extra trying to get you to do during.
No, they're perpes. There's no fizz in it.
It's not great. No.
Where did you get it? Bought it in England when it was
over delivering one of my team building exercises in Brighton.
He isn't it mental he does this. Like legitimately does this.
This is the guy you want to take your team building from.
Everybody that's play splat to warm up.
You'll get Kojak hijacked Chinese Red, but what kind of
shop do you get in? The guy there was just a weak
convenience store and they had like a Pakistani one, they had
an Indian one, they had all sorts of different ones.
Yeah, it's OK. Aren't that's OK.
Yeah, I know it is. But the way you said that.
No, you're making it sound. Like now you're annoyed, you're
annoyed they have those shots. You couldn't look wider.
Yeah, yeah, you look like in like the Indian Raj period.
I thought I was like Neo leaving the house today, not gonna lie.
Neoliberal. I was clever.
Neil from. Matrix, but it was fucking
smart, no? R&B superstar Neil.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, Neil was not it.
Yeah, Neil was. Great.
To be fair, I've as a balding man, I have been researching
what hats I'm going to buy for whenever I bite the bullet.
Hit you. You can get away with that.
Like I've my head's too big. I would love a hat like that.
You need to pay. Report pay hat as report pay
had. A trail beer or something?
Is it no. It might be a true, but it's
like too. Small like.
Too small though, do. You think?
Yeah, it's all right. Mickey likes it.
I'd like you to wear a cowboy hat.
You don't want to mean. I think that's.
Source me one out. No world, yeah.
And it says Tina's handle. But Turner, why does Tina not
need it? Doesn't.
Matter. Umm, your hair has defied the
odds because you went bald in about 2004.
And remember, and you shave, you bet that you're like on bald.
And then you let it grow again. You're like, Oh no, it's back.
And that was years ago. Yeah, it receded when it was
about 24 and just stayed this way.
But that's good. I hope so.
Do you take anything for it like?
No but I did notice when I stopped taking the psoriasis
medication it was on like God health stuff.
It definitely helped. US start going back.
Yeah, because the psoriasis meds I was on dead thin because I
actually there's the footage of what your live pod and the
limelight remember was my birthday and I was fucking
statement. There's footage of that where
the lights go through my hair and it looks like it just looks
like 5 bits of fucking hair sticking up and I've got this
fish, thick luscious fish look like this.
Drug my hair fish. Can we make out a new word?
Fish, fish, fish is Stefan. This is shame.
Oh my God, darling, you look fish.
It's like thick, but you smell of fish.
No, it looks good. Thanks.
Maybe. I would love it if you took your
hat off and you, you, you were rocking something, you know,
like you've done something to your head and you're like, oh,
that would. Be green or something like that.
For the field, just a bump. Just a big, big cartoon bump,
yeah. But like a wee alien on my head.
No, no, like you bumped your head, it's going.
Like a Roadrunner. Yeah, Yeah, those were.
Great, my grandma used to bump the head of the garage door all
the time. Terrible.
Accidentally. He was like Mr Beanie with a
close the garage door in his head would would think it was
accidentally, but it might have just been like a slow cry for
help. I.
Swear the girl used to make me do at their feet.
Close the garage door on it. Was a car door.
I don't know why I've said that. That's not true.
That's something I've been abusing.
People haven't on my own. Would you do that?
Would you do that with a girl? Said We.
She's in the doors being closing her.
No way, look at the fucking size them and I'd kill her.
That's true. Yeah, not really.
It could be a slow release door, one of those.
Like a Tesla one. Yeah, or like a fire.
Any or slow doors we can give a shout.
Out. I meant those, you know, those
doors that you can't close quick.
Yeah, I can't know the T-shirt, the word like.
Is that a holder or game? With a holder T-shirt yeah, I
just I got sick of saying it. You're running for a left people
just point you just I've loads them loads of loads of shirts
are just. For daily use that.
One's on about. Excuse me?
Yeah. Can I use your torture?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
He had one that said taxi. That's what I hadn't walking
home one night drunk for. I jumped my back at the carrier
home. I was like, man, I was like, I'm
not a taxis that made your lights on.
I was like, he knows the rules. You will lighten your forehead.
Sort of oil dropping past the halfway let me spill kebabled on
my neck. Spam is building things.
This guy trying to sabotage Andrew Ryan Andrews doing a
feeler. He was excited about it, even
very nervous before she'll start going great.
Aaron just fucked a drink in the ground sabotaging his.
Mate, he says fucked. I accidentally knocked over a
full. Smashed a drink.
His plastic glass didn't smash the the.
Cosier on plastic glass. Yeah.
That's just like that's I imagine for somebody doesn't
drink. That's like when I get a pint on
plastic glass. Makes not the same, yeah.
Doesn't fuck the same. It's nicer.
I think it's been plastic glasses, you know, because if
you drop it like I did, doesn't smash everywhere.
That would have made a big noise.
That would have really ruined this night.
Did you have fun to fill? Not really, no.
I didn't enjoy it this year. All right.
Anyway, what else? Any gigs coming up?
Mick, did you have fun to fill? Oh.
Yeah, thanks to the 40 people that turned off the jewel.
No. That was about 180 movie.
I was saying they also they also have another room in the
Devonish for about 200 people. That's.
Sweet. Yeah, I.
Don't know why they didn't. Just it was good we did You do
that with me? I've never done that room, No.
I've only ever done. Because it was comedy nights
were doing in there was that. The comedy nights were.
Yeah, what about Andrew backstage being like, they were
like, can we get you anything? And it's his solo show, like,
and they're like, can we get you anything?
And he's like he asked for. He was like on his rider, by the
way. He didn't just ask for it on the
day. He put this ahead of time.
Oh. I wasn't thinking about the
right tell tell him what he asked for in the.
Right. So he was, you know, Andrews
talking the whole thing, telling you through the entire process
he was like, ask me what I want, my rider, I said.
That's Chris Kent. That is a yeah.
It's also the same to me. The the whoa.
Yeah, here. We're both tags.
We're going. To say exactly and he's like all
I asked for is water and two plug sockets.
Access to elegance. He's going to kill himself, he
said. Access.
He said access the two plugs to.
Access the two plugs. Don't worry, I've got my own
toaster. Yeah.
That's what he put on his right. He put on people and then they
asked them, they asked them can we get anything, just where he
goes on stage. And a second plug?
He asked my hand. He asked for a coffee and I
went, fuck sake, Andrea. I was like, don't have your back
as a joke. And he went don't worry about
the coffee. And I went, we'll get you, we'll
get you a coffee. And he was mortified like.
Bless him like. He was away before, but yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Backstage before gig, he just,
he's just, he's not the same person.
But that's a good sign, though. I always think if you're
backstage and you're, you can't focus on stuff, you will have a
great gig. Yeah, you're backstage chatting.
Yeah, you're about to down your hole like.
Are you sad not to be the fringe this year?
I feel like the world, you know, people are like, oh, that just
the world lesson, right? Something that normally happens
doesn't happen. You not being at the fringe.
I'm like. Have a wee bit of FOMO like, but
it's it's it's just too expensive.
I just couldn't justify going for the full month and spend
that kind of. Money are you going at all call
me on Sunday make sure it's call me on Sunday are.
You standing over? No 10:00 AM flight out. 10:00 PM
flight. From gold, we're going to get
racked up. We'll do that anywhere.
Get on the 10:00 PM flight home. That be class.
That wouldn't. I'll put you in the.
Windshield and take you through Edinburgh Airport.
Be sweet, that'd. Be cute.
I dare you to try and put me in a seat.
But but in a way I'm sure with him.
No, he's alright. Sorry, what?
He can fly. Go over.
For a bit though. I might I haven't think about
going over but I'm busy like next week and gigging and then.
Come on Sunday, because Colin and Arnold and I will still be
there. They go on Monday, so we'll go
on Sunday. I'll say goodnight at 8:00 and
then you can go with the big boys.
I'm going to play with the. Place you'll hear Do you have a
coach? So of course they have a.
Coach, of course. Someone.
I've actually got a preview on Sunday I'm doing the Americans
on the nights will camp. What was he called?
Come on, it's called FOMO. Sitting Daddy's.
Sort of my are sliding off his leg.
Is Arm Butler up anything under the ordinary in August?
No what seen the kneecap movie The or night that was.
Good, you got the premiere. I saw the photos.
You and Jerry Adams. Yeah, yeah.
And the big G, yeah. Big G there was I.
Believe he was, but I would. Admit that, though.
You fuck. But yeah, it was good.
I was in Irish and all that was class.
You a guy that just goes to premiers now?
Yeah, I'm the premier guy, yeah. I thought it about no idea it
was a subtitle or you just like it is subtitles.
They're all care tosser when you get.
George's class about what I learned about the Irish language
when they're because it has hasn't been modernised.
Whenever they have to say something that's like modern
day, they just have to revert back to the English, which is.
Great, like USB? Because they're all like shade
of a horrid Thailand the grass that is Mission Mario Kart Tamia
Marhoney and a male searched fan subscription.
Tommy, a mother shared of a horror.
Thailand the grass the like we do it off you Thailand it just
keeps like they just what. Is like we do it off.
You mean an arch? What's the name?
That's the first name. Like we do it off Mccoskey.
I went to school with him. Her now he.
Was radicalised over the weekend, his name was Luke on a
Friday and then Monday was all I'm looking.
We did with like how do you spell that?
He was like, there's 4 sevens and a silence, Ed and all.
Do you know? What your name is an arch?
Mine doesn't have a conversion in Irish, but it has a female
version called Aaron. That's it.
Aaron Butler. But there's no male conversion
for Aaron and Irish. So was our intent taken from
Aaron because Aaron's like Ireland?
Maybe. I have no idea how.
Ireland Butler enough, Yeah. I found out my last name was an
Irish. It was fucking fuming.
Parish no Fartlett sort of all. No, it's not.
I swear to God. You're making your Fartlett I.
Swear to God, my uncle, we were on holidays in Spain once and he
wrote fucking like Clano Clano Bartlett.
But it's like, so it's like BH but I was doing Irish in school
at the time. I was like, I know that makes an
F sound so far. And I'm like, don't ever fucking
tell me about it and I don't. So that'd be me.
You can't be known as anything now other than Mickey.
Oh, Fortlet. Yeah, well I was getting called
in school anyway for different reasons.
Legitimised. Yeah.
But yeah, movie premiere pretty good.
Yeah, in the Kennedy Centre of all places.
That's where you want to the premier.
Kenny centres a good spot on this.
Spot better than parks we actually.
Tim Horton's across the road. Yeah, Yeah.
Yeah. We like to go there.
In my mind. Not for JF Kennedy, probably.
Yeah, and Robert owns it now. In my mind you hang a bit
Rushmere shopping centre all the time, like you're there every
day. I do take a wee downloader
through it every so often. Yeah, we've got a new super job.
Not massive. Right.
Fucking huge they got rid of there was AI think it was
Peacocks beside it. That's not going through that's
sad. You want to see the size of
charge all second you. Clean Peacocks out back in the
day. Yeah, yeah.
There's still one in Kennedy Centre.
Cousin me. I think I found it right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know where I miss?
But that is, do you remember when Envy and like Gino used?
To used to have good shit Gino. That's where you bought all your
Wu Tang clothes. I never went there.
There was a Gino in Belfast and I got, Oh my God, I got a FUBU
hat. And I thought.
That's my beanie. But it was like a day.
Yeah, it was a day shaky. It was like.
Like an African. It was like, what would you say?
Hat please. African hat, that's what I mean.
Yeah, well, he's describing a dish, shaky.
What else it was? Right now he's describing
Leonard Nimoy. It was a you should try and find
him. They made a film about it, Yeah.
I was taking looking for like sort of the search for Spock
all. Right, so then.
Yeah, yeah, that. Was I just went very little.
So it was like a sports you should keep material hat, you
know, it's like totally tight against your head.
Like a skull captain, like a. Skull.
It was a FUBU skull cap. So I'm pretty sure that she use
something like a. It's the long African dress
thing, can I tell? You something about the the FUBU
skull cap I made 12 years old didn't suit me.
I you know what? I bet you know what happened.
You saw the foot, the front photo with that Craig David
album. Born to do it.
And you're like, yeah, I'm going to get one of them because I
went through a wee phase. Rather, I had a FUBU like it was
like a beanie, but it wasn't one of them long beanies.
It was just like you just had a. Like a Rasta beanie.
No, it was just like a cream. Don't you?
It's Yamaka, and I mean. My dad used to race one.
He came last because he was sitting on a way.
It was very good. Did you drink a bit of Ducati as
well? But yeah.
That's great. That's very funny.
Sorry, I need a minute. Well done.
But yeah, the Craig David popularised the beanie back in
the day. Did he like, make it a thing?
I don't know I think the non foldable beanie sure yeah you
know I had a Wu Tang hoodie. I wish I had my cream with a
dollar dollar bill. Your with a red the.
Red, I had that one. It was I had, I had so the cream
one with the red, I had the black one with a reversible pair
of jeans. So they were fucking like black
wood hang jeans and then you fold them inside silver.
Do remember something? Like never.
I would love the Dan. Could you see they sell Wu Tang
hoodie? Ain't Primark.
We're doing Wu Tang hoodies, but we're.
Printing all these for the embroidered ones.
We want the old ones, which is just the W.
Do you know what I had? I had.
Retro Wu Tang Clan hoodie. I had a Wu Tang Clan baseball
shirt, so it was like a white baseball shirt with black
sleeves underneath it, like fake sleeves.
How much would you wish you had that?
Like now, yeah, 100%. I remember.
I'd look even more ridiculous now, weren't it I?
Remember having a bit of birthday money and going, I was
going on holiday the next day and I was like, I'm going to
pick an outfit in Belfast and I got a silk shirt and top man,
which was blue from Reason. I bet we all had this.
It was like blue and white that faded into each other, like
electric blue and white that fade into each other and then
barbed wire around both arms. And I got FCUK jeans and a
matching denim jacket. I had the Primark knockoff
version of that which was like black and grey with the barbed
weather and then flames at the bottom.
Oh, there's like a fucking darts player guy.
Fieri. I can Santa pons like well,
girls like he's like a Mama brittles, which is weird because
I think the braces it was 21. I could afford me own stuff but.
I hated the braces man. I I didn't, I got braces.
I got I got braces on the week before I started uni and got
them off the week. After I left.
So I had three years in uni. I feel like I promise I'm good
at this. You didn't have braces, no.
Never know I was. I was went with a girl in uni, I
had braces and she had a lip. Pearson, not her lip Pearson got
caught my braces. Our book is like, oh, I didn't
I? Yeah.
Oh, you're a stock whipper for life.
Yeah. I love that with all that old
Geno stuff. Sergio to Cheney, do you
remember that brand? Nope, No, I.
Love that. Tags.
No, but Sergio the Cheney is like an Italian brand tag.
Loved it. That would make sense.
I did. I had the the new era Yankees
kept the Fred Durst had. Oh yeah, and because obviously
it's just it's the one wouldn't like there's no gap in it.
It's just like a life fucking squeeze my big fathead.
And that was the last one shop I remember, like trying to word
I'd be like. And had the the like polar bear.
Echo. No, not echo.
I used to have this reporter zip coat.
Fuck if I can remember the blooper.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah. Something Max.
Was it Bear? Max.
Thank you, just made a brand. No, I feel like.
Bear, Max. It might have been.
Done. Could you look that up for?
Me. What was the one with the two
girls sitting back-to-back? Kappa.
Kappa, it's called. First wank your first one.
That's really your first. One that was my first one was
actually the laser pen. You get the, you put it, You
take me. I know a laser.
Pad Yeah, but there be a wee image of a like a wee woman,
like the silhouette of her. That's a danger wank.
Is one of the batteries run out?
Oh. The dangerous part was the plane
crashing. Can I tell you something mental
now? Do you say that about a laser
pen? See if you say that happened on
September 11th. Didn't September 10th but that's
what they got the idea. I I was driving home from the
Dylan Moran show Wednesday night and in front of me there was a
car behind me and in front of me I saw a green laser pen shining.
I was like fuck that's mental. Drove on but 10 minutes later
start flashing it through my car and I was like.
When scooters. Is happening.
Then I pulled in and let the car passed and then I drove behind
it for quite a while and I was paranoid as far because I was
like as I caught, are they passing that on to like another?
I don't. Know be a drone strike.
No, I was like, why are people shining a green lace?
Because they're very dangerous. Like was it just use?
Being. Yeah, but then the car wasn't.
We souped up car or anything. And then when it got past me,
they weren't doing it to anybody else.
So is it the car behind you shining in front of you?
Yeah, those green ones, we need to go.
Oh, that's what I mean. Yeah, I bought one in your
stack. Was it your stack?
Yeah, from a laser pen. Yeah, yeah.
When we were on the street, we, you were, we were separated at
this point, not in marriage or anything, but just from the
group. And it was me, Dave and the
other two boys. Oh, yeah.
You know there are two boys and we.
Aaron was leading them about Michael from the side mission.
Like the pipe paper? Yeah, I I found a side group in
his tag. Dude.
This laser pen. That we yeah, that all just
wanted to go down the strip. Whatever.
Anyway, we got the laser. I don't want to what happens on
the static boys? Don't want to say, but I did get
a laser pen. No, I can't tell you how black
you get The Dirty. I had everyone theatre.
Did you get into? Really.
Did I? What?
It's you really like you? What's SE Willie and Itchy
Willie on Itchy Willie? No, no, no, I brought it there.
And Itchy Willie, I think after the From Combinations,
Barcelona, London. I hope you strap the laser pen
to your Willie had sex somebody be class.
Well, can I say something? Aaron Butler?
Hope he doesn't mind me. You.
Might I think I've said told this before anyway.
He he wanted to take a temporary leave of absence on the stag.
I had the request. For a couple of hours and he the
etiquette of this man, he came up to me.
I was sitting at the top table in linekers.
Top table in Linekers. Yeah, a good fan.
It was. It was.
And he asked my permission if he could.
I bowed my head and help my palm out like that and if he.
Stroked my palm. Three points to Toddy.
Yeah, give him a kiss. And then he let it set me free.
He could never have seen me again.
And then he returned back in 7 minutes, like a 5 minute walk.
Yeah. But yeah, that's that was good
fun, that stack. I was in Magaluf once and it was
one of the most depressing experience of my entire life.
Really. Why?
Because we loved it. I but I went out with a.
Granny died of sick bastard. And mega loof.
Yeah, wet teaser competition. That'll get.
Drunk.
And actually, she actually tripped over her own.
Did he? Did she at least win?
Oh, she won. Like yeah, I got a 5050 year old
drink frigerator. That's.
Gold medal. Yeah.
She said.
It's the last time come the holiday where he has like,
you're fucking right, it's the last time.
Get them out. Get them out crying.
You're exploiting your granny's amazing.
Take your heart. Taking it all over Europe,
you're like, loved it like you're like Colonel Tom and
Elvis, your granny's Elvis. I was like show them and your
old Fartlett. No, what I did I went with it
was a girl I was going out with and then her mates were all out
right. So I was like, was her birthday
as hell by we'll go to Michael with the same time as your
mates, and she was like, this is class.
And then it ended up being me and like 10 women and just me
going fuck, fuck, fuck up, get fucking back like for a week.
They're gone, Ferrell. Yeah.
Right. I'll be your dream, dude.
You'd think. That 10 women go.
Yeah, move yours. I don't know.
Look, I'm open there, Open there.
What's it called? I think we should plan.
Probably will. Not a timeline, but I would love
us to plan a week. Comedians fucking getaway to be
Sunny Hall. They might have to do it next
year. I may have left it too late
here. He's doing too many fucking
business seminars. I have too many premiers to go
through. Thing if you could do a business
seminar text adopt. I hear you, you if, what if we
you've got the fucking skills. Do you put a wee short film
together? We and we have the Premier in
Magaluf. What if we go in the team
building exercises and we pretend that we don't even know
each other and don't introverts? Oh, I don't know.
And then you're like, yes mate. You pretend to be an introvert.
I can do that. Watch.
Even that you. Can't.
I wasn't. I'm gonna try again, OK?
No, thank you. Yeah.
Johnny sounded pretty well, actually.
I try to shake my hand. Yeah.
That drama degree itself, yeah. What do we do?
So how are we getting around this?
So so. We go on a team building thing
with him somewhere sunny, right? Where do you want to go?
I know Spanish, right? Some more sunny.
Tenerife. Tenerife right?
Cool Tenerife and you're Hola welcome all to.
I could do it in English. Yeah, we can do if you want.
I yeah, you don't know what language speak.
Definitely can do Irish. We've established that and I
mean, you go and we both protect, we both be like, well,
we we've never tried to. We can't build anything, let
alone team right. And then by the end of the
session, is there a team? We're fucking high 5 and come
open it. Well, let's start a podcast.
What do you like? I like tea and friends.
I would love to be on that podcast.
And I'll wear a T-shirt that says I like to hold doors open.
And then people, by the way, we are about as genius.
Your next thing you know, you're David Goggins, who's going to
hold the boat. We're going to hold the fucking
boats, right? And then that's like that's 1/2
an hour done and then straight to the bark.
Introvert Mickey Fox What's? Crazy is to get round this, he
wants to create this fake business owner, but still wants
to take the same Oh, he's the one.
Yeah, yeah. We have to still attend it and
we have to do it and you could just, but surely anything could
be a tax write off as long as you revert it back to comedy.
To be part now that I made that joke about this T-shirt bang tax
rate. But that's what it like.
I know where we go, Lisbon. Made I've been there loads of
times. McDonald's decent but just
close. I mean the sense of city, but
like it's not hasn't any bigger. Lisbon.
How many? Was that put the call or?
She would just, yeah, she would just come to them again.
That's actually focus seminars, yeah.
Kizi's piece of shit. Kizi.
He's there. Yeah, exactly.
And I told him there's one place that I love, one coffee shop
that I love in Amsterdam, and he took us to everyone bar that
one. He's like, I don't even know
what that one is, but I was articulating the badly.
To be fair to him, I didn't tell him the.
Name hard to do in your back. And then he's he was in it
yesterday and I was like, that's the one I like.
I last time was an option I saw a couple of the ladies of the
night clocking off and walking past the Anne Frank house and I
was like this is weird, this is just odd but.
That's the route home making. Nobody he was in there, but
yeah, I was where he stands. Deserving.
You're doing a revert. Knock me in the attic because
I'm introvert. The tour group was like, we're
all here and I didn't want to go, no.
Well, I think we should. I think we.
Should just talk about. We should go and do a gig
somewhere. Yeah.
And it becomes text writable. Football and it is work.
Yeah. Surely.
We did a tour of Just Like I and Appa.
Yeah, course, don't they? Oldest ones there.
You're a Grammy. You're a fucking Grammy.
I don't have, you know that, yeah.
I have one. Tell Granny Butler to step up.
See from the back of the. Coin I know Granny Butler is a
lovely woman now. You've been holiday.
Yes, but it was many years ago. She used to come to Orlando with
us when we went to Florida, but she arthritis wouldn't let her
walk around the park, so she would mostly just hang around
the hotel. Should have broke up that
fellow, Arthur. Arthur Ritis?
Yeah, His last name was Ritis. Yeah, I'm sure he did.
Loves your joints. Telling me, saying lots of
joints got lost there. Yeah, so usually went to A
multiple times to plot Orlando. I think we went about 3 or 4
times. Yeah, that's huge.
Yeah, yeah. First trip and it was when I was
eight. And then last one with the
family was when I was 19. So in between then there's about
3 or 4. Disneyland.
When we used to go to my granny's caravan Donegal, we
just go to our land month. We'd wake up in the back of the
car. My my driving home, just argue
with me that like we'd go on hold for one night.
Yeah, really. Like it used to be like I made
this joke. We would go like we're all going
on or all coming home again, like like my mouth like we'll go
to the car when we brilliant get there and go with the fucking
shit hole and then take a straight back learn.
I got island, WE school, brilliant.
Whole family, everyone used to just get caravans.
Go. I got island Brilliant.
Couldn't tell you where it is now, but Mayo, it was great.
I loved it. Irish holidays are good.
There's there's definitely I still like it's been mean to
many times, but see the taste of like Tito cheese on in a glass
of coke that reminds me of that's childhood shit like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just your dad drinking a pen
together. Yeah, that's different.
I love that when we're going to go Central Parks, people say
it's good. In Longford it has a water park
which I would be keen to go to. You can't do centre parks.
Wow. Not by yourself.
I can bring a friend. I'll go with it.
You mean the boys trip to Sander parks?
Team building trip to Santa. Yeah, we're going to do a
seminar. Yeah, we're we're doing.
Now we're talking. We're doing one of our seminars.
Now we're talking. Making Butler's famous travel in
San. I'll pretend I'm afraid on the
slide. No introvert.
Introvert. No, I can't.
I'm not ready. Are you as met going back to
Australia? Anything.
I think we'll go back out in November for we bet, maybe we
holiday, but I'm going to take a year off just to write a good
show. A year of comedy.
No, no, no, just the year of. Can't take a year of coming, but
it's my job. But I'm going to wait a year I
think, before go back out and do a turf.
Yeah, and I was going annually and I'm leaving at 18 months
just to just to build it up you. Need to you need to give time
because when you get out there, you don't really have you really
do have the weather with your best fucking R.
Yeah. And I know they have a lot of
builders and construction trade, but we do need to let them
reattach the roofs, you know what I mean?
Like it's important to let the buildings have a chance they.
Remember, it's like Glastonbury, that the land heel, same thing,
yeah. Absolutely.
I did an outdoor gig, put a roof on.
That's weird. Yeah, yeah.
I don't know how that worked. I just break where is 1 even
though I'm an injured. I know.
Don't I'm I'm excited. I'm doing Warm Point town Hall
the night we're recording this tomorrow night and I'm buzzing
to do somewhere I've never done. You've done one point before.
You did like. Sometime remember we used to do
Brick Cafe, Yeah? That gig was brilliant,
believable. No microphone, No microphone.
It was Paddy Mcgackie. Around it you would get about
20-30 in. Yeah, and.
It was just a Wee BYO cafe. It was brilliant.
What a throwback. That was that was great.
Thank you. We did in your draught rooms the
other week. Do you remember in your in your.
Yeah. Top floor.
It's called something different. Oh, a change in the intent, but.
It's also closed down again since we did it.
Since last week. Literally the next day it.
Closed. I think they were standing up
for the All Ireland final and then they were just like, who's
on me, him, Matthews and OK. Or were they run yeah oh because
they're just doing different places around your art is part
of. Like, well, they keep finding
the new place and that keeps closing down.
Right, so. They just need to find.
I thought they were doing stuff in the town hall there.
They were, and I think they have maybe something else coming up
later in the year with it. But yeah, they're trying to find
like a regular new reason like. New is the kind of time where
you before you go on, you're like, this could be a bit
fucking rowdy, and then it's unreal.
Yeah. Yeah, because apparently as well
I heard, you know, the bank is apparently beside that there's
like an old theatre that they're trying to do up, but I've heard
it unbelievable in a few. Minutes.
There's so many of those we theatres in towns around
Northern Ireland that genuinely aren't used.
That's the place the place in Lauren and I'm doing on the work
in progress there we better. Centres.
We did it for the charity show. No, it's in it's in a Gale Club
and they've called it, it's called the reading Rooms.
And they were like telling me about it.
They're like, listen, it's probably not what you're used
to. You know, it was old space and
all that and I didn't know what to expect.
You couldn't have a place better.
Small stage, tiered seats, proper tiered seating and you
get 300 in it. It feels like with you're
playing, they're like 40 people. Wow.
In the best way, you know, it's intimate.
And I said them, I think the thought of joke and I was like,
nowhere better locally really for stand up than this, Like
this is unreal. So I was like, I I'm going to
come and do a tour show here. And they again, they thought it
was shocking and I'm doing it. It's it's unreal.
I'm definitely going to look at changing the venues up for next
year's tour. I don't think I'll do the
waterfront next year. Right, right.
Sort of bigger ones because. They think it's always good to
change so. Yeah, the costs are going up for
a lot of those places. And it's just like, do you know
what there's I would love to do like Agaa Hall tour or like a
rugby club, Yeah. Because so many of those places
are like big rooms. Load the seats in a bar.
Yeah, Yeah. And they're always great crack.
But what would you? Where would where haven't you
done in Belfast? You would like to do operas.
Yeah, probably do so on the operas, yeah, because it's like
I've done that a couple of times, just a support act and
it's just the best room. Yeah, because it's built for
like it was built before microphones.
Yeah, Yeah, You know what I mean?
Do. You know where the term punters
comes from? Please tell.
They used to be a guy who in venues like the operas, it was
his job to have almost like a brush.
And the way those seats used to be was like Rose just Rose with
no gap in between. And they used that.
They literally push people together so they would put the
idea of the term punter comes from that interest.
I'm pretty sure for like. Because surely they don't
probably would be the man who's in the ponton.
He was. Yeah, exactly.
True. Amputees.
Haunted amputees. You get more of them in.
He's an introvert. Yeah.
But then when they say give, give, give, she in a big hand.
They're like fuck, like all we're close together, but it's
good to get your foot in the door stopping.
Give each other high to high 2 1/2.
Stand ovation. Are you going to you going to
hang around for the second leg of the show?
Stop doing this to me. I fingered your man.
What? Opera House.
You can have you take fingers as well.
That wasn't it. I like to like when I did the
Opera House two years in a row, that was the first tack, as I do
always change it. Yeah, but I didn't that year.
But then I think next year I either won't do a solution or
I'll go somewhere very small and do loads of dates in it.
I like Lyric or something. Yeah, lyrics on Real.
Lyrics great as well. Yeah, umm.
Where do you, what do you, what are you at?
You did you did a lottery show? Yeah, yeah.
Did you, Did you did you tour that?
A couple of. Places no was going to and I
just left it too late and. Now what are you up to?
What are you? Up to hanging a bit.
What are you doing? What are you doing?
Sandwiches. Yeah, you want to put a wee tour
on or anything? I want to.
Why don't you? I haven't got.
Material yet? Much of you bet.
You bet you've got 40. I I conservatively would say
I've got 25 to. 30 but if you book a tour you'll have you'll
shit out the extra like that's why you book a tour before you
write the show you. Book a tour for March.
I know, but then I put pressure on myself and then sometimes.
You have to admit. Just precious retires that's.
Why I'm not putting pressure on myself?
The other. So you don't feel pressure,
you're not a tyre. But are you worried that if you
are you worried if you do, it won't?
I'm worried if I book it in advance that it'll be it'll be
not. It'll not be as good of a show
because I'll be writing it for the wrong reasons.
I'll be writing it just to fill time.
Just to make money, be famous. Yeah.
Who would do that shit? Don't.
Get me wrong? No.
You'll you'll want to write something that people enjoy, is
basically what I'm saying, yeah. The World You're funny suck.
I appreciate that. Thank you.
Very much you've got see if you've got nearly half an hour
an hour by March, you have the. Other by March, the half an hour
you have now, you'll go I wish I that's new hours.
Amazing. Yeah, I'll think about.
I'll look into it. Just do it.
You got to, you got to try things and if it don't work,
don't work. I know I just don't ever want to
write something just because of book.
The show would not because it's actually good.
Yeah, you know what I mean? There's that as well, but I get
look. You could die tomorrow.
Yeah. We all could.
I hope we don't. I could.
Never spot me. Who's the A?
You ever try to tell me someone's going to kill you
something? The UK or something.
Imagine. You were killed by the UK.
That'd be class. That would be the way I want to
go. I was going to say yeah.
That'd be rage that I'm not annoyed about it.
Maybe, maybe the Red Bull joke, the sort of the show.
They're like that's, that's Chinese, Japanese, you've mixed
that up. Chinese, we try out, it's going.
To get me to. To be fair, I actually don't
know if this is Chinese. It might be.
Can you read that? It doesn't look like Chinese
right now. No wee houses.
Is it Russian? I guess wingdings.
We'll give it back to them. Give you Wingdings.
No, Wingdings gives you the Red Bull.
That's stupid. That's.
Stupid, isn't it? Professional comedians Red Bull
gives you. Wingdings do.
You remember the Wingdings for the 9/11 thing?
Remember that. I don't know.
What the link is? You don't like it was that?
Yeah, you typed in something like.
You typed in the flight number. And 9:11 and it came up like 2
buildings. It was like playing poison Star
David. Yeah, I were like showing my dad
be like. And my dad was like, well, Star
David's Jewish and that was they're not Jewish.
I was like, there's another case fucking blown right up.
Yeah. So you don't remember that, so
you must have missed that. You must have been playing
football or something out in the boys not.
Like taller girls not. Yeah, I was outside, Yeah.
Cooling your retop man T-shirt and all.
You were on a Hotmail like us. Yeah, yeah, I'm still a Hotmail.
Yeah, you. I'm Rosen.
Well, that's getting over with. Probably a heart condition, but
you're. But yeah, they they used to be
able to type in the flight number of 9/11 and then it
brought up this sweet thing when you translate it into Wingdings
fault do. You remember trying to do
Google? What was it?
Google. Google.
Google Wax. Do.
You remember this? No, I don't remember.
What's that? It's so fun.
You would type in to you, I think that the rules were you
were allowed two words. Isn't that right?
Yep, and. The the goal was the.
Only bring up one Google search result, so you had to think
random words. So it'd be like.
Me and Foster used to do when we were, yeah, 16, yeah, yeah.
Yeah I did something similar at uni one time where we would type
in a random word and I had the word porn after and the amount
of shit that never failed. Yeah.
Dan. Worst one amputee.
Could you could we throw a couple at you to see if we can
do a Google work? So amputee porn.
Yeah, right. Oh, it's not just like, oh, I
missed the leg, but I'm having that.
It's like. All four.
No, no, no, no. It's like here.
Wonder where that's going to? Go.
Oh, the stump, Yeah. No.
What kind of thing you're watching when she had a foot,
That's a hate crime. You know what the me, you know
what the me and male actor for that was, I think I'm writing
this in this Engelbert Stomperdick.
I think that was him. I thought her name was Eileen.
Eileen. Let's have a Google work on you
first. If Google wax are in pot by
before we start this Google wax are bound to be in the but.
They're not. I've got them before.
When you were 16, the Internet, there's bajillion things I think
it's impossible to get. In fact, I would say Don, you
should probably Google. Is it even possible?
No, get a good. OK.
But it has to be does that the one result or none?
One you're allowed one. Yeah, it can't be none.
Yeah, you have to have one Foxy. Now this has.
Changed ear wax insertion. Oh, there's.
Going to be. No putting your racks back in.
That's mental. Yeah, but it will still.
It'll take the time. 2 words yeah.
Oh no, you didn't. Inverted commas, is that right?
No, you might. I sorry done earwax in.
That's better that. Better do you told me to
inverted commas. Oh yeah.
I was being sarcastic. I was being sarcastic.
That was sarcasm. Oh, right.
OK, sorry. Follows one of your porns you
were watching. Right, I've got 1 in cell
hieroglyphics. Oh, that's pretty good.
Actually in cell hieroglyphics. Fuck this is very difficult game
now it just. Comes up with special features
of the Mummy Returns sitting eyes.
Watson. Yeah.
Oh, an oximen was actually the reincarnation that was a nerd.
I was doing what would be in a physical embodiment of an in
cell. This was again a Game of Thrones
T-shirt wearing high tops. I don't know, like in cells a
guy who wants to have sex but like can't.
Yeah. Oh, I.
Always a monitor, essentially. I thought it was someone that
was like inbred. Maybe I'm wrong?
No. No, OK, that's inbred.
That's inbred. That's inbred.
That's so much. True and.
You come for lunch, OPS it don't.
He doesn't. He doesn't.
He doesn't, I feel. He doesn't.
Do I have anything else? I don't think I have anything
else to do. Today.
No. You have a gig later.
It's fine. You probably have to walk
around. Rush me.
Yeah, you do your daily rushmere.
How do we go with Intel Hieroglyphics?
No, it just keeps bringing up all this stuff.
I think Google wax are dead. They are I paid to the Google
whack. You know, do.
You remember on, was it Lycos or something?
You could send one free text message back in the day.
What's Lycos? It was a search engine, I think
it was Lycos, Lycos. And you could put in your number
and the number you want to send text to and you got one free 1A
day. I went on to ask Jeeves.
That's a good one. He's.
Not himself. Yeah, he's a lot.
He's not even more in the suit. He takes ages to give you the
result and. He's all like, look, he's coming
back now. Yeah, he's not.
He's not even wearing a suit anymore, just wearing a comfies.
Yeah, OK, smoking fags. And he forgets what you asked
him for and. Jeeves has to move on with the
times too. You can't put him in a box
either. You can't just expect him to
keep wearing a suit for the entire time.
Jeeves has to evolve. Yeah, and I, when I asked
Jeeves, like I was looking for like retro football boots, I was
like, where's the best place to buy all that he does?
Predators. Jeeves reply was why does no one
ask Jeeves how he is? Why does no one ever ask me how
to do? Yeah, he actually replied to me
once. Google it.
You can't. Yeah.
That's shaves for you. Yeah, He's dropped the whole
domain there. Yeah.
He's not even speaking posh. He's like talking to us.
Right, right, right. Fair enough.
Well, I hope. Because he's, I think he got
furloughed, didn't he, from being a.
He would have been being a waiter paid off.
Was he a waiter? A Butler. 20/20/2020 I'll get
everyone you know even James blessing the.
Came in hard for a lot of people 2020.
No, no, no harder than James. Yeah, he took the brunt of it,
to be fair. Yeah.
Teams overloaded. Everyone's Googling at home.
Try yeah. Quiz question, quiz answer.
He's like on the sly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
On a separate screen. He's like guys again.
Hope he's out. I'm watching Clarkson's Farm now
and in the first season of it, COVID is such a big thing and
it's a lockdown and I'm watching it thinking like that didn't
even happen. It is weird.
It feels like a million years ago doesn't.
It as in the actual lockdowns where it's like you can only
leave your house for an RA day for exercise?
Yeah, I'm watching him going. That's mental.
Forgetting that we like live through it.
Yeah, it was two years since he wasn't like.
Yeah, but, and at the time it felt like the longest two years,
but then when it was finished, it felt like it flew in.
There is sometimes where you go. I just love a wee month where
it's just a wee loss. So I look back at like I would
do, because we were having our first kit at the time and I I
got her overboard. I went and like I would get the
shopping and Asda and then clean every single item.
Yeah. And look, and at the time that
didn't feel weird. Yeah.
Why wouldn't I be doing this? And I look back in that and I'm
like, that was mental. Yeah, especially spread that all
on that all. It's kind of hard to do that.
Yeah. The sort of melt the top of the
bottles with a bend sounds. Like you're doing something
else. Yeah, we want to.
We fuck it, we thinks. Fuck it, with that all would
that would be? Yeah, you would be.
Fuck you would be. Absolutely.
Fucked Why? Are they called a Fuck it?
Fuck it, fuck it. Do you want to hit this?
Fuck it. Right, OK.
I think, I think it's like that's not a bomb.
Fuck it. Yeah.
OK. Doing I'll ask you.
I think he's been hitting the fuck.
It's like he's. I think my mates are at the
minute. And yeah, getting a new.
One getting a rabbit, umm. Hopefully not.
It's thinking. Clarkson's Farm from the best
programmes in TV. What is Clarkson's Farm?
Jeremy Clarkson has a hundreds of acres of farmland, right?
And people run it for him. You know, he likes to live in
the middle of nowhere, and he lets farmers use it all.
They obviously pay a better rent and for this show, I think
Amazon went to them for the after Top Gear and we're like,
do whatever you want. And they did the ground tour and
stuff and then not when that went down, they went, Jeremy,
what do you fancy here? And he's like, I just want to
stay in the house, but I'll make a show on my land.
I heard him talking about it where he was like the difference
between that and Top Gear was like Top Gear be getting up in
the like 5:00 in the morning, going to hate you every day and
basically being like, I don't even know what we're plan to.
And he's like, no, it's like get up a whole bowl of cornflakes of
coffee, talk to the other guy. But the farm start working like
9:00 it sounds class, yeah. He's now doing all the well,
Obviously it's going to be a bit embellished like, but he's taken
on the farm and himself and it is I I didn't really like him.
I always find him like a bit of a knob, but he's a caricature.
Like he's supposed to be like that.
The Top Gear over the years I was like he's fucking melt.
He is so likeable on this because he is still like a bit
of a fucking buffoon, but he's so likeable and the cast of
people is just excellent and you actually see like what farmers
do and I get tired watching. I mean, I'm like Jesus, but he's
so like it's brilliant. And I would just start second
season, but like comedy needs to work out Bush because.
You can't. Last, oh, there's some guy on
TikTok who's shown like he does like a day in the life and he
works in Australia doing trades or whatever and he's up at half
five in the morning and then he's.
I think I know he does as a faithful.
Yeah, Flying fired. So it's like oil?
Oil. There's loads of it, so there'll
be old ones would be like mines and like there's, yeah.
I think. Did you have a beard?
Yeah, he's from here, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the pot.
Yeah, I've seen that stuff. Really, there was a guy used to
live down our street, right? And every Saturday morning
without fail, he would cycle his bike down the street going wait,
wait, wait, right. And he was like 18, did a pig
impression. He would like do a scramble
impression on his motor on his bicycle, right?
And he and we just didn't one day there was no we would fuck
up him. And then, about two years later,
he came back with a tan the Porsche.
Because he went. In because he went in the porch,
still going. Wait, wait, wait.
Because I think that money, is it tax free or is it like it's
very well paid, but you. Yeah.
Spend on anything. Yeah, yeah, because you're a
master. So like they're paying for your
flights that feed you, put you up.
But there's also things of like art in Australia where the
amount of, there's a rule in Perth where if you're caught
doing over a certain speed limit, like over over a certain
amount over the speed limit, they'll just crush your car.
Because all the FIFO guys were coming back loaded and buying
like fucking Mustangs and then just go and fucking daft because
because there's nobody in the roads like yeah, yeah.
So they just have to start cracking down and like, because
they're all young fellas with loads of money just losing the
way we took it for you. But see, when I I see his
content language. Brilliant.
Yeah, Yeah. When you see what he does and
he's just talking through it like it's nothing.
But I ain't got alien to me. And most comedians where he's
like, yeah, you just like, we're going to grease this and then
that's going to move in there. And I make sure that you lost me
at the first thing. I've said it before.
See when I fucking, when I see baristas that are busy moving
all the things around them, I go.
I would. I don't have the brain part of
that. There's definitely a certain
thing that happens, like you've been doing stand up long enough
where you do lose certain, like, abilities to do certain things.
Yeah, yeah. I went to type something the
other day and I was like, I can't remember if I can type
something like a long thing. Yeah.
Do you know what I mean? Because I've just been getting
away with this shit for something.
Even when I was a waiter for a short time.
Yeah, I. Struggled because what
restaurant did you wait in? Used to be a dishwasher down New
York club. I didn't hear what he said.
That doesn't matter. Was nothing.
OK, I used to be a. Dishwasher down your club all
right OK and then and then I would became weirder for a while
and I can't do this. Yeah.
There's too much to do. Yeah, I'm trying to remember
this, that see if you just dealt with one table all night, I
might have been able to do it. Yeah.
Do you know what I think is a weird thing Just from, because I
work like did a lot of retail stuff and my mental arithmetic
is still pretty good from like because people use cash and
stuff. And now if I'm in a pub or I'm
in a shop, I pay cash. You can see people going, I
don't know how much. Oh, I like they're really
because no one's doing it. And when I worked in the marks
all down the road do used to you would write in how much they
gave it. And I told you, yeah, what
change to give, but it's still like.
Just in your head, Like, yeah, I feel like they're on songs, but
now I can't think of anything I'm talking.
I was so see see like for clue. I remember working in a Mason E
Belfast nor like you'll need to start locking the shop up at
night and the woman showed me like she'll go over here and
then this does that and then switch that.
And I remember at the time I'm going, yeah, yeah, no problem.
But my brain is going You'll never be able to learn how to do
that. I was a supervisor attending
cards for a week and I fucked up the happy.
Birthday. I did not get that card making.
I have a good, I have a good. No, Obama's more like this.
You're Obama's superb. Hey, cool.
Give me a Clinton. Give me an Obama.
Bill Clinton was more like this. More Hillary.
My wife Maggie, my good friend, met him on the island.
Then Obama's more up here. More Michelle.
I'm a daughter, Sasha Malaya. And there's like, he's not even
American there. You go, there's Trump.
Wow. Nice.
I can't do it, Trump. Not really.
We bet I'll not. Hope you worked your supervisor
for a week. Yeah, I just kept fucking up the
tails. The end of the day.
There was just always, it wasn't like much like 2 pounder and I'm
like, I just can't fucking. Like I'm recounted and recounted
and I'm just every night. I can't drive my mother's head.
We almost all have to go. Yeah.
It had to be something creative for me because I just don't
have. My uncle had a paper shop I blew
away. Good.
Selling the Shakies. The Shiki weeklies What's the
name of the paper? Did you have a paper shot?
No. Oh, then any of our own He.
Actually made a wooden whistle, but a wooden whistle.
He made a stale whistle, stale wood whistle.
Then he made A10 whistle. 10 whistle lie.
Did any of our uncles ever own any businesses?
My granny's the only shop your granny did.
I, I remember when I was first four years of my life, she owned
it and I would, you know, be in out of it a wee bit.
Newsagents. Yeah, newsagents type.
Sweet type shop. So she ran, she worked in it and
run it. Yeah, I think it was part of the
house that she lived in as well. I can't remember.
What way did you? Get 3 stuff.
I used to next some sweeties. Yeah, Nick.
No. I was only three.
I don't. Know that I Remember, Remember
everything like walking around the shop and being like not
understand the shelf for say like a lifestyle sport and being
like, imagine if you're mommy or daddy owned this.
You just could get everything. Yeah, just come in and you could
pick whatever you want and you could even get some for your
friends and everything. I still think like that.
Like Supermarket Sweep used to give me anxiety because I was
like, what would you go for first?
I wouldn't be able to get this stuff.
I'd be like. Yeah, depends on what the ads
they're open because what was it just food ads or was there
clothing and was it digital accessories?
Was there maybe like, say, a target in America, a place that
does everything? That's huge as well.
The ads are massive. You can.
Only what do you pick? You pick things you actually
want. You're trying to sell things on
or. Yeah, I go down the resale
route. I go into what?
Electrical. Electrical.
Expensive stuff, whatever it was at the time.
DVD players, big TV, toothbrushes, whatever.
Yep, don't forget your toothbrush.
At Target you could get guns. Well, yeah.
Which is, yeah, it kind of makes it the only way.
Like like boots isn't boots, but.
Target is target. Guns, you lived.
In America, you would own so many.
But if I let, if I I've told you this before, my absolute fucking
dream is make a lot of money off stand up when I'm still sort of
young enough to spun up a wall, buy a house somewhere with just
a big back garden, and sit on a back porch all day shooting 10s
of beer that I've just finished drinking.
Yeah, you can get a big air rifle.
Yeah, we can get you like an hour one.
For you can get, you can still own handguns on that if you're
part of a gun club, yeah. Right, but we start.
Yeah, we'll call it the IRA. What an idea.
What a dream. I remember going to one in the
states shooting alley and. The what you do.
Mcbeal and I thought I was going to be unbelievable.
In my head I was like, I'll be great at this give.
Me two guns. And I'm like, I'm like, there's
Boo. Boo, Boo, Boo.
Hitting the top thing and I'm killing it and I'd missed every
time and the guy said to me after I was watching you where
you went wrong straight on. He's like, don't have a straight
on. Yeah, you have nothing with the
recoil. Remember, we did Todd's leap,
the shooting, and it was like whatever gone that was, you had
to like put it into your shoulder.
And it was shotguns really fucking.
Proper fucked you up like. My dad, when we were kids, my
dad had a shotgun and he probably shouldn't say that.
He was like, have we go? I was about 10 and he stood
behind me like so he was like supporting my shoulder.
But I remember just having a fucking massive burn.
What was he getting you to shoot?
Just the air. Just yeah, He was just like,
just shoot it. It was over a coffin.
Is it my arm? Tired of throwing a land petrol
bombs on fucking. I love the idea of that, just
like shooting in the back of funerals, just shooting stuff in
the garden that is fun. Yeah, we like I had a BB gun
that we just would just sit in the back, back or just.
Yeah, when? The night.
That wasn't B.B. King that.
Wasn't B.B. King?
Who was that? Ben E.
King. Fuck sake.
Is that right? Made a film?
No, that's oldest reddings. No, it's not.
Benny King.
B.B. King.
B.B. King was a Blues musician.
But I think that's Ben E, King said.
Thanks done by me. And.
Then Sean Kingston. He's in gaol now.
Boom boom what? Him and his mayor in gaol, Sean
Kingston, some beautiful. Scam.
I They were like money something money launder.
Maybe girlfriend that beautiful. Benny King done is all right.
Benny King. Well done.
That's just to finish. Let's do a general music quiz.
Oh, that's a good idea. I feel like Houston.
Did you enjoy? The general music quiz, please.
I love how. Crazy you didn't already have
that set I. Think I love what you throw
these curveballs at, Dan? You just get an idea.
It's a shame if this is a movie you want to crush it.
Yeah. Oh, I hear there's no one.
I don't. You have such a high level
knowledge of movies. Especially the you had the mid
80s. You don't get lots?
No, not really. Like what you?
Do you do like? When we play that separation
game, you do it in an instant. That one that is my favourite
game in the. World.
Oh, that's right. When we give you 2 people, yeah.
We turn our dance and that up. OK, Ethan Hawke and Ryan
Reynolds. Ethan Hawke was in trained there
with Reynolds. Reynolds and CF house with OH
Ethan Hawke within was in trained there with the
Washington was in CF house with Reynolds.
Chadwick Boseman and Flippin Chart and Hesson out here.
Good luck. Chadwick Boseman was in The
Avengers end game with all The Avengers and Charlton Hesson
played the head of Shield in First Iron Man.
Did he I? Didn't know that well.
Really. Or.
Was it the Incredible Hulk? He was definitely one.
No, I wasn't here, No. I'm thinking I lost.
You're thinking of someone else. I think awesome part was head
of. I could do childhood awesome.
Partners in Avengers. Right.
Are you telling? Me awesome partners in Avengers.
Probably. Was.
Yeah, that knows. Baby so Charlie, that's a fire
is tough. I'll see you guys you now good
luck. What are some big Torton
Heseland? The plant of the apes is the
biggest one. I think Caligula was in that.
Maybe. No, he wasn't.
He loves his guns or dead. I don't know if he's still, oh,
ten season. Yeah.
Big NRA guy. Is a hard one big IRA guy?
Big NRA guy all. Right, same thing.
This is really I've I've no offered making anything.
NRA straighter to come. Does it count if he if it's like
a documentary? Because he was in Bowling for
Columbine, if you look at it that way, yeah, yes, he.
Was in tombstone. It wasn't Tombstone.
Charlton hasn't is in Tombstone with Kurt Russell who was in
Gardens of the Galaxy with Chris Pratt who was in There you Go.
Well done, but that was a hard one.
That was one of the wars. That's the longest step.
Before before we quiz it up, Mick, what do you want to play
and promote? I've got the Dictionary podcast
in the 17th in the hall and the hall.
My tour starts on the 6th of September in the waterfront so
we won all of you can. Ireland tickets are available,
especially in Derry, but a lot of the venues are selling that
pretty fast. We'll put.
Link in the description. Thank you for your tourism.
AB anything you want to return next year you.
Do any headline slots anywhere unless all the people want to
come see you live. I actually think I am but just
don't remember them but I've some just.
If you go to my and surround page it has all the.
Beyond. Social yeah it's all over my
socials any headline spots and do above a few on this year yeah
yeah a. Big Shooter patreon.com/TV me
podcast if you want to go official with us, link is in the
description for that. And our tea, our tea that we
teamed up with Sookie Tea to make the fair trade Hollywood
blend. These are beauty.
They're really nice look, little, little loose tea bags.
You know these are tea that we spent ages.
That's how you know you've made it like.
Figuring these. Yeah, when you've got tea.
Do it if you've got your own beverage.
Yeah, I'd love a like a marginal Fartlett whiskey.
Wait. Oh, Fartlett, the.
Fartlett Whiskey. Yeah, yeah.
Have some more Fartlett whiskey, it fucking stinks.
It's just yeah. And if you can't, it'll make
you. This.
This tea we wanted. We wanted like we wanted strong.
Don't. Spend the.
Tea We. Wanted strong tea Suzuki.
We're sending us little little things to try here.
Never want the like proper, nice, strong.
You know who's a strong tea, Mr? The link is in the description
and get yourself some of this. That's a Sookie tea down.
Would you like the quizzes up please?
OK, what way do you want to do this?
I'm just going to through the questions out there and you can
first answer, OK, Eh, what singer has that a Billboard
number one hit in each of the last four decades?
Madonna. No Michael Jackson.
No. Do you say female?
Did you say female? The last four decades.
No, but he's re released a couple of things.
Elvis, not the 80s. It did hold on.
The last four decades were 80s to 80s now. 80s nineties, not
Tom Jones. No.
No, no, 90s, nineties, nineties, 10/20.
Right, OK, that changes things quite a bit.
Who's put note songs in the 90s and then a still big no see the
no one struck me up because then they would have added one last
four Elton John, no? That.
Was a good guess. They would have had.
No who? Britney Britney Spears.
They would have had they have had one the last four years eh?
Are these all as the solo artist done?
Eh, I believe so, yes, this is. Very.
That is tough. In the 90s.
Diva. Beyoncé.
No, Margaret. Curry.
What she had in the last four years, Yeah, what had?
Number one last probably. Christmas, OH.
Christmas. Yeah, it always.
Who was the very first American Idol winner?
Oh, Kelly Clarkson. Yep.
Correct. I but say Clay Aiken.
Which member of The Avengers? This one's from Mikey had a
brief stint as a pop star. Brie Larson.
Yes, Wow. Well done.
Love them in Celtic. Before Miley Cyrus recorded
Wrecking Ball, it was offered to which singer?
Katy Perry. Nope.
Or duh. No, I would like to say.
That Beyoncé. Yes.
Beyoncé got offered Wrecking Ball.
Why hasn't Beyoncé on the on the ball?
Reckon. It eh in The Big Lebowski, The
Dude can't stand which band. Haven't watched that movie.
The Rolling Stones. No.
Beagles. No, but sort of that kind of
era. Who are sort of like that.
Era SC, DC No, I can't think. I haven't seen the bigger box in
years. The.
Queen. The Eagles.
The Eagles are. Good.
What was Madonna's first top ten hit?
Like a virgin holiday. Yes.
Do you remember she went from holiday to fucking like, yeah,
it was a big turn. Holiday.
Yeah, it could. OK, last one, Paul McCartney and
John Lennon wrote which Rolling Stones song?
Paint a black yellow submarine. Something with colours I.
Know this in a documentary. Satisfaction.
It's in a documentary I watched. I'll never get this.
Is it well known? I wouldn't have got this.
Ruby start me up. No sympathy for the devil.
No. Pass.
I want to be your man. Wouldn't have got.
It. Yeah, I wouldn't have got it.
What? Was the name of the song then.
Yeah. Boys, we'll leave it there and
we'll get some lunch with that day.
Let's go. With that day, I'll be there.
Thank you to everyone for for watching and listening.
We appreciate you. What a second Waterfront date
30th of November Waterfront all T with me live.
First one sold out. Bangers sold out already.
Tom Bangor. Yes.
So we had a lovely time there. Thank you.
All the best.