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October 8th and 9th. Zippers, welcome to this episode
of the Tea with Me podcast with me, she and Todd.
Before we get into the episode, of course you know we need to do
it. I got to plug a few things
starting off with patreon.com/tea with Me podcast.
What flavours that Patreon would do a bonus episode on Monday
called the Special Brew live stream on a Friday.
Anytime we put up an event, it goes on Patreon first, and we
have an event for December. Can I?
I can't say any more about it, probably.
I've already talked about an episode.
All I'll say is this is going to fly off the shelves.
It's a live event happening around Santa time, if you know
what I mean. And you can give the date and
location. 20th of December in the Limelight, who knows what
it's going to be. Keep your eyes peeled for that.
There'll be a few stars. Keep your eyes peeled for that.
We not we. I have a tour.
I'm on tour probably currently already at the minute she and
talk comedy.com for tickets, going on the venue websites.
I'm all over the place. I'm doing a big run, which is
mostly sold out in October in the Grand Opera House in
Belfast. In November, I'm doing a run as
well. There's still some tickets left
for that as we recorded this last night that I sold at
Olympia in Dublin. 1100 people. I'm doing two soldiers shows in
Dundalk, which I'm renaming Fun Dock Saturday and Sunday at the
Spirit Store. There's tickets left.
There's UK shows, there's Ireland shows, there's America
shows, there's Australia shows, there's New Zealand shows,
there's Canada shows, there's Middle East shows.
We are sponsored by our good mates at Manscaped the Ball
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this room on each other. It's great. manscape.com you
just go tea with me for 20% off free shipping.
My guest this week is definitely an avid manscape user.
He's as smooth as a bloody saxophone.
This man is a a force of comedy, a force in nature.
He's a sweetheart. He's a people's Prince.
He has tiny hands. He is none other than your
friend of mine, the Goblin King, about to do the SSE Arena
himself. He's doing 2 nights there.
He's having a great time. He loves it.
You love him. We love him.
Please welcome my friend Kieran Bartlett.
There was always rumours in school that people had love eggs
in. In.
Scholar in like in in. School, you know.
You've had one that you've had a wee love egg and before when you
when you have to be away from Chloe, that's how you keep.
The only eggs I love are perfectly poached.
And creamy. Do you know, like I like a wee
mini egg but not loads and just a couple.
I like if somebody else has a bag and you get a couple of
them. See that?
That goes against what? Well, mini eggs.
You know, I'm a slop. I have to eat them all.
See that? See that?
Whatever our crispy shell is, I should put that on more hangs,
like a vanilla flavour hang. Imagine that on crisps, right?
Yeah, how crisp that would be. Buns with mini eggs in them are
a lovely touch. I like when you get joy like
used to like do you remember around length you would get like
you would get like shredded wheat nest with two wee mini
eggs. Yeah.
Or I like a like a bond seal. Yeah, for Trocra.
Are shredded wheat still killing?
I don't think so. There must be, but like I
Remember Remember the odds with beefy on them in both them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thought it used to be like,
yeah, it's good for your heart and also but you can't eat 3 and
I'm like, yeah, don't gamble. That's me beefy.
All right, I've been, I've been eating these covered in
chocolate and mini eggs in them. It's it's mad because, well, I
just thought I thought you remember all those times you
were told they're starving children here, they're starving
children there. And the way to raise money for
those children was to be a fuck up.
What a Bunsiel. What attack?
In tournament, were you winky? Would you like like would you be
interested in like romantic getaway and then cover Chloe in
mini eggshell? No how?
Many dinner. Eat into anything is a grim
phrase. I just pressure you in the
Galborn naked with a wee toffee hammer.
Just naked apart from a miniac. Hide my little and I tell you
some toffee hammer. Can I tell you something?
There was speaking like things, covering things.
My muse play for a football team and there was a coach and his
banter was based around the fact that he had like the smallest
penis in Northern Ireland. Jesus.
Christ, like that was like the banter, right?
Yeah, like a micro penis. And they were on like Christmas
night out my maid and only like joined the club and he's like
the manager or someone brought the coach over and he's like get
the bags down though in the social club and he like gets
them down and he's like and he's like he loves it more than that.
He's like Allie, maybe Dick, and they put a look at it bottle cup
over his deck and I mean it went it was it covered and then he
goes, then he goes everyone have a few drinks.
He was the coach, then went one more time make up bigger and
all, and he's like like hitting it like we, you know, like the
we door stops at least bringing. Yeah, yeah, he.
Was good at that and then my mate went it got weird after
about 35 seconds because he was essentially just wanking him
off. Jesus Christ.
I'm a mate left the club. Look, have you ever used a
toffee hammer? On Toffee, yes, yeah, yeah, you
said. I used it as if it was being
used for someone else. But what else could?
You show or bad DIY? You you would definitely
incorporate into Warhammer. I would, you know what I would,
I would like to do with it? Hit wood with it and make
judgments on people. You mean toffee?
Hammer with your hands. Ugly.
Yeah, judged. And then I'll have a wee bit of
toffee. A toffee.
Hammer with you would be like a large.
Axe, you know, you know what we got in in Scotland, you know
whether they're big toffee people.
That sounds like such a. Silent.
Toffee though. Yeah, the Highland Toffee
people. Remember, do you remember you
used to be able to get we thin bars of Highland toffee?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, with the We Furry Coil.
Yeah, yeah. And you used to be able to get.
What is that? As a highlight, I would I would
have said a hurry car. Yeah.
And you, you. But you also used to be able to
get blocks of it with a hammer. But anyway, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I remember. They're big in the what do you
call the other thing they make tablet, which is a hard fudge.
See, I don't like all the all the hard stuff.
Despite what you've heard, I don't like hard things.
This is just slightly harder than fudge so but but they also.
Do I like room temp fudge crumbles like we needed?
Yeah, yeah. I don't, I don't like that.
We made, we made, we got fudge. Chloe wanted to get some.
She will have already given this present by the time this goes
out, so it's OK. She wanted to get some fudge for
a couple of friends of hers, right from like a special place
and. Such a like 1820s gift.
I couldn't find the Turkish delight and we so we're at this
place called the. Fudge.
Bring fudge. Fudge for everyone.
Fudge. Parcel of fudge.
Where's the place called the Fudge House?
It was I'll I'll say this. It was my dog.
The place the place was the place was deck out as if they
were selling people in it. You know, like the you know, the
auction and taken it was like that, except it's people bidding
on like I can see you lemon meringue fudge, Roman reason.
I can see you 100,000. I can see you're poor woman poor
and you sound Pellegrino and you're just there just pressing
a wee. Button spin on people.
Yeah, anyway, we got. I didn't fudge.
People we got, we got all, we got all kinds like oh mate,
there was 1. Just you're in French.
Yeah, I had to go a second time because had to because.
Had to like when. You go with it.
No, no, we did, because the the stuff, the stuff that was bought
as a president was used. Yeah, Joe and I don't like you
didn't say you it was. You it was spoiled.
Ah, you've had fudge in your belly button.
You will not tell me otherwise. Something, there's some in the
house right now. I can't even look at it.
It's mental, I'll tell you that. So it's so rich, like you can
only take like a wee tiny bit of it and then you're like.
Yeah, because I got, I got some vegan forge in a garage once and
it was delicious. But it was it was Madagascan
vanilla. I like that I galas and I were
talking with this a while back about things that are like
everywhere for a while, you know, so he he talked about Thai
sweet. I think he might.
Have Thai sweet chilli. He had a bit of a.
Sort shouldn't maybe talk about Thai sweet chilli, but have you
noticed that everything is there?
Like Madagascan vanilla is one of those things.
Yeah, that's everywhere. Well, can I?
Can I give you one triple cooked chips?
Ah, pulled pork, pulled pulled made while ago.
No, no, I'm trying to get some what's right now.
There was something fuck there was one that I saw the other
day. I went Why is that everywhere
the minute? Bottomless brunch.
What's up? What do you mean you just like
refill? Yeah, I think it's you go for
brunch and then your drinks or you get like champagne.
I would prefer if the plates were bottomless, you know what I
mean? No, there's definitely one I saw
the other day. I went.
Sriracha is getting there with being everywhere, but there was
one that I saw the other day I went trying to get where we
were. It's a good story anyway, but
yes, triple cooked chips is definitely one of those.
Yeah, well, how long before they're doing quadruple cooked?
Chips. I know.
Do you know what the three cooks are?
What? The triple cook is have you ever
made them? No.
So you parboil them right and you let them dry.
You wrestle Nickname. Definitely Parboil.
Parboil and then Susan Parboil and then yeah, yeah, you, you,
you drop them once in the in the fryer and you left them up and
let them sit again and dropping again.
And that's how you achieve maximum crisp on the outside of
fluffy. Air my air fryer does Max crisp
do? You get like.
Do you still have fluffy centre though?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is it?
Just soft or is it fluffy? Oh I I love the air fryer.
I haven't got one. Really.
I thought you would definitely have.
One, do you know what I'm I'm I'm in I'm looking for a juicer
right now, and I don't mean any of these part lifter.
I mean a fucking an actual juice machine because I bought one
thing and it was a juicer, but it's actually a blender, right?
So it doesn't. Really.
Say Blender. So what?
Made you think it was a juicer. I thought it was.
I sort of just got confused between the difference.
I thought, that's the same thing, right?
It's not A blender keeps all the pulp inside and mixes it
through. That's not what I want.
You know what I want to be able to do?
I want to be able to make apple ginger mint on meal terms.
You know what I mean? And I want to be able to make a.
Real man of the people. I want to be able to make Carrot
Apple and what's your own ginger cut apple ginger carrots and and
maybe we see his lean of turmeric in their shells, the
joints. Mini egg shells.
The joints, Yeah, yeah, are. You on health care?
No, I am. I am down.
I am down a few pounds, remember?
Which is incredible news given that we basically had shit, and
not just on stage. Given your We Dirty series.
Given me I know we dirty seemed like we dirty was a great idea
is a great idea, but there is also a sense of you're slowly
killing yourself to make Instagram content.
Yeah, you know what a way to go do.
You know, all kind of so we weren't the one that was
recommended that we ended up not putting the video out for
because you didn't like it. It was bad like but also.
Can I say my only criticism we dirty this everywhere was 10 out
of 10. Right.
No, listen. Right, listen.
A lot of the places were between 8 and 10 out of 10, but they
actually literally were. And then when we went to this
place, which in my view, in my generous view was a six ever was
being cut through about it. It was like a four.
I sort of went, you know what, I'm not a real food critic, so I
don't really want to shit on this business.
But it was it was pish but. You must have such.
It was a sorry, it was a place that was like that.
It's whole thing is 1 item, so that item must be good.
It must be better than that item when I make at my house.
What it What was the food? I would tell you, everyone will
know what I'm talking about. Yeah, and this is what I was
going to say. You have a.
You're like a potato, right? Right, Although you're not,
you're like, I'm not a food critic.
You have such an inflated opinion of your opinion that you
think if you give this place that, if you give this place a
low score, they're going out of business.
That's what you think. You think.
Listen, if I if I bash fucking mashed potatoes or us, they're
done. I wouldn't have wanted to shed
on it, but it was bad. It was really bad because no,
because we were tagging all the places and then the location and
all and the places were getting in touch and sent 5 survey and
all and like our halls we've been.
It was nice and I like I'm all like I don't want somebody to
get in touch and go. I make better mash than you.
I make only only if it's three mini egg shallow.
And but this is the thing like it was made.
See the mash in our place? It was fucking very poor.
Now I am a mash daddy. In the house, I make return of
the mash. In the house I make good mash.
Johnny Mash. And this was, this was, this
was, this was so. Shit, Marcus Mashford.
It was, it was bad. It was so bad.
How? Much, My father.
Yeah. It's weird to just do one thing,
but you're right, if you're going to do one thing, do it
properly. We also had two places where we
didn't quite finish the video. There's definitely one that we
should put up If I just finish it now just do like a wee.
That was this out of 10. But I would say this place, this
place, the food was like decent. It was sort of average service.
Unbelievable, right? Best service.
Like do you know what the dead meant?
Lecture hall? They they came, they they told
us the kitchen was closed closing.
And when we went back and said they came out and said Chef
says, you know, he fired up. Like if you want, yeah.
That's because they've heard you're given everywhere in
Edinburgh. And then and then we went back
in and also not. So now my opinion isn't
inflated. Everyone is seeing it anyway.
So we went. So we went back.
She went back in and it was the night United were playing
Wolves, or or rather the night Wolves were playing United, and
United stayed there and somehow won the game.
Anyway, we went, we went back in the camp and they sought me at
because it was a public and they sat me at a table and there
wasn't like you couldn't see any TV's.
The next time they come over, put a screen down at the right
at our table and we have the United game on the big screen.
Did they think you were Robbie Coltrane?
I loved it. I I hope they must have had for
some months. You know, it's the ghost of
Cracker. You know what I mean, Hacker?
It's Ghost. You're a medium, Harry.
That's how you're seeing me. You know what I mean?
Who do you think they might have thought you were?
John Culshaw, he's put on a wee bit, you know, still a great
impression to care more than this.
No, I don't know. I don't know.
I'm trying to think who could that Joe brand, you know what I
mean? Yeah, I know mate.
It was brilliant. I was, I was a lovely place.
So I would say the food was like an 8.
Look home. Service was like a can't service
was like an 11. So overall like a nine, like a
like a 9 1/2, right? It was good.
And when I went to see you in Edinburgh, your voice was very
soundness sore and I was sad for you.
It was shit. And I said you just need to calm
it down a little bit because you were doing too much.
I had to, I had to, I had to stop doing the comps.
I I stopped for probably. What day were you over on?
Friday, yeah. So I stopped for about a week
and then I did the last two comps, I think, yeah.
You're the only guy in Edinburgh getting chauffeured around
between the shows. I like that.
I had to. Yeah, I had to.
Well, we're living in what? We're living out, sort of in
Leith. Yeah, in Leith.
Like leaf Walk actually. Have you heard the song Sunshine
on Leith by The Proclaimers? I've seen the movie by Danny
Boyle. Brilliant song.
That's good. Yeah.
What was your accommodation like?
Nice. I insisted.
It was very good. Do you know what was weird?
The bed was a wee bit smaller, Norse, but it was very comfy
anyway. And it was sort of like, I don't
know why I started talking about the bed, but it was nice.
Do you know what I didn't like? The what I didn't like the I
didn't like that you had the park under the building, right?
You can just park out in the street right here.
That it was slightly inconvenient for me.
The only guy with a car at the fringe.
You need one, you're complete. You need what?
Listen, see if you have the guitar and you have all that
shit and you're fucking living where we were living like half
an hour walk away from the. Venue.
Yeah, to be fair, you couldn't cart the guitar around Edinburgh
because it's on your Eagle as well.
Like, there's no way. I don't.
I don't like carrying it. Do you know what it is?
I I, I mean, it was, it was hard enough walking from the car into
the venue with it every night. Three people, yeah, it's a
nightmare. Did you have any like, not
unsavery interactions, but you know, you're a guy, doesn't like
to be touched, all that kind of stuff?
Any like drunk people picking in the headlight?
Actually, do you know, do you know what was annoying?
People. People.
People go in the mode in Edinburgh.
I've noticed where they go. It's the, it's the Fringe,
darling. And I'm just going to walk out
in the middle of this fucking very busy Rd.
Yeah. And people won't.
No one will hit me. Yeah, you go.
No one will hit you because they know if they fucking touch your
handbag with their car, they're getting fucking sued.
So people are swerving around you.
It's not that they won't hit you.
They're trying desperately to avoid you and every other count.
Like you, it's on the road. Because you probably you don't
like the street performance art and all that kind of stuff.
It's. Like people coming up to you in
character. And how odd, you know to hit.
Mr Coltrane. You know the hit the the ones
that were like, so there was a guy doing some mantle with a
chainsaw in the middle of the street.
Anything you do with the street. So he's.
Like he's like saw and shit up and then he's throwing the
chainsaw and catching it and all right.
And the PR guys that were with him, they were they were
standing sort of down a bit from him.
Now you can hear and see him throwing a fucking chainsaw and
people shitting themselves. Do you know, it was nearly like
imagine if Jesus was it at the fringe, right?
And actually was for instance, I love magic, right?
So like somebody doing magic, I love it.
But there's also occasionally a magic trick where you watch it
and go holy fuck, that is actually it's uncomfortable,
right, right. Sometimes I saw a brilliant
magic thing I have to tell you about and I saw a shit magic
thing I have to tell you about, right.
Anyway, brilliant, uncomfortable, right.
And so I imagine if Jesus was at the fringe and actually like,
you know, I know hate somebody or something, you would actually
go Jesus Christ. So somebody throwing a fucking
chance, all people are going to fuck me if he drops that.
And there's it's the French. So like people are good, but
some people aren't and some people will drop a chance after
they throw it. His PR guys were going don't
worry about it. Nothing going on here, nothing
to see. Just a guy tossing three chance
in there and I'm going fuck up, fuck up on me.
It was it was actually making my blood boil.
And that was the night we were walking down to see use.
So what I'd also made my blood boil was that we walked up the
steepest hill in Edinburgh to get the wings, only to receive a
message to say walk up the next bed of this very steep hill,
come and meet us at a burger place.
What did you make that place? But you had to ask for a sauce
A. Lot.
I'd ask for BBQ sauce three times and then Chloe took over
and got handled. I actually liked it.
It was nice. She thought.
It was quite nice Steve, But I loved seeing as the friends and
it was nice, just a breeze in full of life.
In and out. Because you guys were looking at
me weird and it was because I life.
It was it was because you weren't dead.
Yeah, we we pot, Potty said. When he left, he was like all
odds and my Sentinel. We were like, you're messing up
because when you left, we were also youth.
You know what I mean? We were also having a good time
pretty much around that midpoint.
Me, Mickey, Willy, Robbie, all of us just fell into like a
complete fucking Edinburgh coma, like a like a fucking French
hole where you're just like, that's it.
Did you? Your roast bottle of Lily was
great. I was made.
He ruined me like. I love no.
It was, it was, it was like the style of no.
No, yeah, but he rounded me like there was.
He was so good there. Was boy in the plus size
pyjamas? Should have got more of a.
Lot. There was a couple of ones that
he said, have you seen the full thing?
Yeah, there was a couple of ones that he said that he eat a Moss
to put on cliffs, which is fine, but there was 1 about me being a
certain type of attacker. That was absolutely the best
joke anyone's ever said to me about me.
But you can see it on my Patreon anyway.
So the the can I talk to you about the magic, right?
As you know, or maybe you don't, I love it, right?
I didn't. Know that you were a Big Magic
head. I didn't.
Know that I am like, I swear to God, I am like a wee happy boy.
Can I choose something? Yeah, describe to people what
I'm doing, Foster. I might get picked up in this
camera. Shane's standing up.
I'm on this one, OK? Shane is standing up, he's
turned side on to me. Ready.
Yep, he's about to levitate. Come over here like stand up so
you can see it, right? That'll do.
Just look over at me, right? Ready.
It's pretty good. It's pretty good.
He's done the, he's done the old.
Is that David? Blame, David, Blame that.
That was, yeah, the levitation in the street.
I could show you another one. Dynamo, Dynamo, Devil More.
He flew above the hold on Dynamo, Dynamo flew above the
fucking Christ the Redeemer and our Kevin goes, I goes.
How's he doing that? Then?
John Kev's answer was strings, right?
Watch this, put your on board. Please don't draw me well watch.
This right? Can you draw a wee hole please?
Go ahead. OK, watch this.
Ready. So you like magic, right?
Right. I love magic.
I was incredible. I was like having Paul Daniels
layer at me. No, we so we went right tell you
about the good show first, right.
So there was these three guys. It was called in CNR of magic
mate. It was insane.
Like it ranged from Megan, the third magician appear in a cage
at the start of the show to like one of them.
This was the uncomfortable one. One of them like put like
scalpel blades in his mouth and took them out on put, put floss
in there and then put them out on a string.
And then which I was actually like a bit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they did, oh, they did
this one. But sorry, do you think they're
really, are they really doing that?
I I don't know. You know, they're like putting a
sword down their throat. Do they do that?
I think so, yeah. Oh right, mate.
So he, he, they did. And I can.
Put big stuff down my throat. They did this, they did this one
that was absolutely Bachmann, right?
So we all had, they gave us all our envelopes like it was all on
the seats, right? And it had each one of them had
a flyer in it for their show. And each flyer was different
like so there was sorry, there was three types of flyer.
There was one with magician A1 with magician B1 with magician C
on it, right. They get everyone to swap the
flyer with someone beside them, then fold it over, then fold it
again, fold it up in the I think something like 8 or 16 even
squares and then turret right. And then basically, you know, it
was some shit where you had to like you.
You had to fucking let me get this.
Like This is why I'm not the magician.
But there was bets where like, so we were up on the balcony,
there was bets where they're going.
You choose how many bits here you want to throw away, 1-2 or
three, you're throwing bits away.
Other people are like swap and then swap the swap person, swap
about person, throw away another bit.
Change it to the front, throw away another bit and at the end
of it, everyone was left like basically you had you put it
back together with another one of the Flyers or something that
they have and it was like everyone in the whole room got
the same flower with the same missing but.
Can I say what none of that makes sense.
It well, it was amazing. It was insane, right Then we saw
this other guy confusion. We saw this other guy who I
don't want to. Is that the end of the story?
I could tell. You better and then you give
that to someone. Else but every everyone ended up
with the same thing. How does that happen in a room
full of people where they're going throw away two or three
bits whatever you want throw away one bit if you want throw
away a bit or keep it and everyone's making different
decisions. How do we all end up with the
same fucking bit magic, insane magic, as I'm saying, like kind
of tell you about the shit one that we want to see, but.
Without I don't want to have speed.
I don't want oh faster, I actually want to slow down the.
Oh, please don't. The I don't want to name this
person, right, but there was bets in the show, mate.
Darren Brown's a He's not a magician, he's a wizard.
That's different right now. You think, don't you?
The Darren Brown really is magic.
I think Darren Brown and Dynamo are actually magic.
Yeah. And I, my thought on it is, and
I might write a book on this at some point, like a novel, right?
Because I. Can I can I give you advice?
Don't. This is good.
Nobody here. This is good because Darren.
By Darren Brown and Dynamo are really Magic by Kieran Bartlett.
No, no, no. A character I I will write.
I will. Write some of your Waterstones
for that one anyway. I will write a character who is
actually magic but tells everyone he isn't because that's
what you would say. Right, that's a movie I like.
It OK, so anyway, this is good right?
So we went to see this one. I have my wee sore throat right,
So we'll say this shouldn't have had popcorn at the start of the
show because it's very dry and it made me splatter like it was
in a monster gas attack right now.
Anyway, we. I love the people who have been
a mustard. Mustard.
I think they're all dead. World War One.
Be surprised. I fucking really?
I would be surprised. Well, because.
They would be 105 if they were born in 1918.
Well, if they've been eaten, their shredded weight.
So, so I we went to see this guy.
Now you know the way, you know the way magicians are supposed
to be and all. So is he selling?
Popcorn on his show. There was popcorn outside.
Yeah, at the venue. All right.
I got a wee bag anyway. Right?
Salty and sweet now. Shouldn't have it anyway.
I coughed loads. I had to leave for a minute
anyway, Kim, I really did. I had to come back in.
So the tricks were right. You know why a magician should
be, like, Slick? Yeah.
And like, you know, I'm throwing this out into the crowd.
Throw it back to me. Of course, there is a chance
they won't catch it, but you want them to catch it.
You certainly don't want them to fumble every time.
Yeah, at. Mate, it was so bad for things
like that. Also, the stage hands coming on
were real sloppy. Now, this was a very.
This was a Big Magic show and a big, big venue.
It should have been better. Right now I'll say this to get
the right I don't I sorted them on identify the guy, but this
might identify he has like a like a cast on like a, you know,
like a big moon boot. Oh yeah, now I know the the the
broken leg. Anyone that reserve will know
him all about now. He had a big moon boot on right?
I genuinely thought. I don't want to name this guy,
but he had a moon boot. Oh yeah, the magic moon boot
man. No.
Anybody who shot will know him all about right?
He had this big moon boot on and he was sort of limping, right?
Yeah. And I'm sitting there the whole
show going, honey, deck me, I'm prepared to be decked by that,
right? Yeah.
Pull the fucking rabbit out of it, right?
Yeah. And then he just didn't.
And then, and then he had, he had a big, he had a big plaster
all over his eye. And I'm sitting on this, right?
And then he just didn't. And he told us at the end of the
show, he has a big finale where there's like swinging, swinging
on fire, kettle bells swinging, right?
And he's going to walk through them.
And it turned out the day before he had got fucking twatted by 1.
And even when he was telling me that we're sitting there going,
yeah, I. But like, he didn't know.
So like, and then as he was going through them, one of them
totally grazed them and I'm going.
And it, it was just dangerous. Yeah, it it was like.
Yeah, you need to think he's in control.
And then do you know what it was as well?
See the show like in terms of like bits being played in.
They had screens, they had bits of sound.
Everything went wrong this day. We were in and it was just like.
Because, like you say, sometimes they'll do that.
And then they'll do it. It was all part of it, you know?
Did you ever see? Have you ever write?
So I when I was younger, I saw a magician who who was a brilliant
juggler as well, right, Like Berlin.
And obviously the thing with juggling is, you know, out of
ball want. Only you will come on the
podcast and go. The thing with juggling is.
No, but like the the thing that people do to make juggling more
exciting is like out of ball or add flames or add add an item,
right? So like if you start, if you
start with two bad cocks, you want to fucking set them on fire
and then out of third, right? So it's like 3 big three big
flaming cocks, right. And so I saw this guy, he just
go who came on. I was doing like a three or four
ball, fucking very impressive routine while shot and all.
And then he was actually reducing it and making it more
like it was actually better and he got down to doing 1 ball.
Juggling one ball. Mate, it's not.
It sounds like he's just going like that.
Yeah, it was one of the best things I've ever seen in my
life, and it's based off of an old act.
That was a one ball. You can't not like this guy.
I mean, this guy was doing mad shit.
Throwing it up so high, doing all this shit and then being
like, I can't like, it was fucking incredible, right?
Anyway, it was sort of like that.
It was a wee bit more impressive right, but this guy just kept
dropping everything over a number, and I admit I actually
couldn't believe it because you you want you want of a magician
drop something you wanted to be that that's when he fucked you.
You know what I mean? That's when he.
Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was all so bad, but
like that, that thing where he was like, yeah, yesterday,
thought of myself, yeah, basically I was like, she's
taking the kids and I'll say that.
See loads of tricks. They were for a person on stage.
See the way you were here? He literally did stuff like
that, like throwing stuff behind someone's head, and we can all
see that that's what he's doing. Yeah, but it was £20.
I didn't know you're such a magic guy.
I love that. Can you do any magic yourself?
No, I can't tell you as well. We haven't.
Yeah. So the guys that we're doing in
CNR Magic, right, they have a shop member, embers only and 1st
Magic shop, right? And it's quite far away from
where we're staying. It's in Haymarket, right?
And Chloe and we looked up the open on original and they only
opened from 12:00 to 5:00 on like certain days.
And Chloe and I went over to it and it said there was a note on
the door saying on an important call, I'll be back in 5 minutes.
Waited for about 15, couldn't get in, went home, very
disappointed. Went back on another day when it
was meant to be open. Nobody there.
And I'm got it because I wanted to start my magic journey.
It's magic. Oh, you want to get in the
magic? I would love to but like I would
only do it. What would you call yourself?
The Great Burrito. No, I don't know.
I don't know. What would you call me, Flash?
No. What would be a good magician?
Like the great. Yeah, the great something you
know I want you to. Be great or someone the great
you know. Yeah.
Tina Turner the great, you know. I think I would love to see you
do a magic show. See if I see if I can find a way
to. Make.
Skills out of these hands. I'll always try it.
You know what? I.
Mean if you made like adult size hands appear that could be that
could be great. From within the group would be
great. But you enjoyed the French?
Yes, there. Yes, there were a few things
that I didn't enjoy, but I mostly had a good time, but it
was just really tiring like. Upgrading the standard line the
way home. Upgrade on the standard line,
the way home shout out, it was great.
What does a wee suite get you in there?
What does that? Talk us through it.
So you get like a nice wee bed, you get your own wee bog,
there's a shower if you want it, there's a TV, there's a phone,
there's are. You ringing?
Anybody. Anybody you want it works and
they. They put a.
Fridge with You still use a landline fridge?
A fridge with drinks in it. Like what?
Sparkling water? Coke free?
Yeah, time the love. An orange tangle on the boat.
Look, the love in Scotland as well, right?
You know when you've been tangled.
Yeah, but no arm bruise, the big one.
Armbrough is huge. So they're like their fizzy
orange drinks. Basically armbrough's mine and
like I don't. Like it at all ambridge good
gear. I think.
I think it's only doable if it's freezing cold, and even then it
tastes like. Well, they reduced the sugar
they had to. The what?
They've reduced the sugar. I I didn't like it anyway.
So there's a new drink they take Iron Brew 1884 or something and
that's the original 1 and it has still all the sugar.
And then there's there's. Did you sleep on the boat?
On the way back, yeah, just for about an hour of it.
Yeah, I was a wee tar boy. Oh, and they give you a wee bowl
of chocolates and they give you like on the tea and coffee
making facilities. But an array, an array of
biscuits like, oh, what? All all all packaged though none
of your not just like none of your riffraff crumbs like yeah.
So that was very nice. Now can I make a suggestion?
Yeah, in the lounge they give you pop chips and turtles,
right. You know those crisps?
Yeah, yeah, we bag them in the rooms.
Lots if you're watching. You got upgraded for.
Daddy, Daddy, Stannis says. Yeah, you know what I mean?
But I'm what? Stana McCartney.
No. No.
Eh. Stana No.
Palma Stana Paul McKenna No. And how did it like talk me
through joy. Have you really came to know
your first day at home, back from the fringe?
What are you wearing and what are you doing?
Is the answer. So is this?
Is this? Is this on on the day I actually
arrived? What day do you get back?
Tuesday. OK, can you yawn again?
We just want to get that one. Out.
Do you know why I'm yawn? Because I haven't fucking slept
right in about a month, Shin. I'm sorry.
Time do. You, I don't even stop.
Napping. I don't think I was even home
when you when you nap. Said there's a day, that's why
you can't sleep at night. Don't.
I don't. You think I do?
I don't.
I didn't nap yesterday at all. Whoa, I'm.
Trying to get my clock right. Yeah, yeah.
Trying to get my clock back in the in the swing.
Clock. Clock.
Yeah, because we were. Because we were getting so late
every night. Yeah, that was late like when I
did one night of it and I was doing that compilation showing
it starts at like 11:15. I was on 3rd and.
Finished maybe half 12 in there and then you're buzzing so
you're sort of like awake until maybe 3.
So what time do you get back from the French out on the
Tuesday? Back into the house at about
6:15. At night.
With the raffles what? At night?
Yep. So you have a raffles, then you
go to bed. Had a raffles, we watched TV
What now? Do you are you wearing the are
you eating the raffles in the clothes you're wearing or do you
go and get into confused to eat the raffles?
See, I travel in confusion, as you know.
So I was I was in my my Adidas. I probably took my T-shirt off
and had it with a vest on. I'm a slippers definitely slips
on. Slippers and tracksuit bottoms?
Yeah, you eat your raffles early night.
It's pretty early. Went to bed about half ten,
11:00. And then the next day you do
nothing on my right. I was, no, I was.
I was working yesterday. Oh sorry, 2 days ago, Wednesday
just straight in. I have a an unbelievable
workload at the moment. Because I predicted a long
transition period for you coming back and I said to these guys,
he's not going to be in the studio for a month.
I, I, I had also thought I'll probably take about like, I
thought it was going to be off until next Tuesday and then I
realised I'm gigging tonight, I'm gigging tomorrow and you
asked me to come here and which I love and yeah, I'm just, I'm
just do you know, I'm looking forward to United Arsenal on
Sunday. Did you get to hang out with
some great comedians at the French?
Like great Irish comedians. Yeah, all the ones from here.
Yeah, yeah. You make any new friends?
No, I don't think so. Christopher McArthur Boyd.
I didn't get to hang out with him, no.
Al Porter, you meet any? No I didn't meet him either.
I I don't like other comedian. I spoke to a couple of the Irish
ones at the best of Irish but then I had to give him a comp
shows back. I did a few of them and then my
throat really was fucked. No, all when you talk about
this, you said some before this podcast that really took me by
surprise and I thought was quite controversial.
I don't like Yellowstone. Right, sorry.
Right. OK, go for it.
You talk about it. I don't plan to.
Go so. We had for Advance on the
podcast last week and Foy has a little bit of a beef with you
because you've like slobbered to him loads like on your podcast
and said like about his accent just just because he sings with
his with his authentic accent. I joke about that.
I don't want no no, no no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Have the balls to stand over your conviction.
Oh, I start, I start, I stand over.
I have never been convicted. Called.
So you called him Bald I. Don't think it is.
You did. You did.
I've certainly thought it. No, I am I, I the only reason I
know about his music, the only right this, because this is the
same a wee bit with some people took umbrage of me taking the
pess out of Irish folk music before.
The only reason I'm able to take a pess out of it, well, if you
know what I mean, is because I fucking know it.
Like, I like it. I love it.
I've learned it. See, this is your defence for
you being really sexist. My mom's a woman.
Do you know he's a woman? Do you know do you know though
that like? I have the hands of a woman.
Do you know that I and A girl in the in the fridge.
I am I I was I was a wee joke. I was a wee joke.
I was doing and Amber I was saying I used to tell people I
had the hands of a child. But people can't come in the
ribbon freezer. So I I want to call it like it
takes about it takes what's. Your issue before advance.
I don't have an issue with four Vance.
I like 4 Vance. I've been the same live multiple
times. I've been to lose the intimate
gigs in fucking Bangor Abbey and wherever that he's played did.
You go to the Bangor. Abbey, I did go to the Bangor
Abbey one. It was brilliant.
I went to do you know where I saw him one time as well.
And this is like seriously, ages ago in the Menagerie in Belfast,
he talked about that actually, where somebody shouted out get
your top off and it was embarrassing.
Do you? Yeah, actually it was for sure.
Yeah, yeah, so, so sorry. The reason I bring.
Sorry, but sorry your. Enemy for event up is because.
But let me say this, just let me say this.
So see, to do that music or to joke about it, there's a
dedication to actually learn it. I played his songs loads like
I've learned them. You've shed, you've shed.
You've shed yourself. I have.
You've shed yourself this voice. Voice coming for you.
You've. Shit yourself.
With a yeah you like. Anyway, go ahead, Yellowstone.
So thank you. Umm, so Foley has a song with
Luke Grimes from Yellowstone, Casey from Yellowstone, right?
OK plays his song with the long blonde hair and we were talking
about that, but you don't like Yellowstone.
Let me say that's. Not neither just for in furnace.
I'll say this, I love Kevin Costner.
I love Kevin Costner. The guy could pretty much he
could take a piece of shit Rabin Dinfoil and sell it to Queen
Elizabeth. His earrings like I love it,
right? It's great.
See ladder top bounder. No, I love Kevin Costner.
I'll watch him and almost anything.
Joe, I love him and love love love him and Molly's game.
He's not in it a lot and he's a scene stealer.
Do what I like that you are like the things that you don't like
and have a problem with, like for Advance and Yellowstone you
go, I guess you see Kevin Costner, he's the best.
No, I love everything he does. I'm as big as I love Yellowstone
and the only reason I hate Yellowstone is because I've seen
every episode of every. Series, right.
No, no, no, no. Kev does not.
Kev. Kev.
R Kev will R Kev. Yeah.
Kevin Costner R Kev will say to you, oh, there, don't bother
watching out our show. It's fucking shagged.
And I go right, well, how far and did you get three series?
What's wrong? Yeah, I just I wasn't enjoying
it, but I wanted I'll have to get the end and I'm like, you
don't need to be grind TV anyway.
He the thing with Yellowstone was so everyone was talking
about it backstage one night in laveries and I was like I do
like Costner so I'll maybe give this a lash.
Went on bought series 1 and I was enjoying it to a point and
I'm going to send sexist here. See the dollar.
She is one of the worst actors I have ever witnessed in anyone.
Sorry if you're watching. This.
I'm about 10 episodes in and I'm finding that character tough.
I find. Do you know?
Do you know what I do? You know what I can't buy from
her smouldering temptress? Give me, give me the look.
Give me the look, yeah. I'm like.
It would be like me doing. It.
Here's me being a smouldering temptress.
She she melts me and like anyway, so she did this thing.
There's a bit in like episode 2, I want to say maybe 3 because I
think I did, I think I did maybe 3 or maybe 3 or 4 episodes were
she boxed some guy and like A and like a wee room.
I think there's a piano. I think I'm pretty sure they
bought on a piano and she says something like some.
I'll tell you the line, I remember your cock being a lot.
Bigger, That's that's yeah, I was about to say I thought your
cock was bigger and it just, it made me go oh, because I don't
bat from her because she's putting it on.
It's so obvious. Like if you're I didn't buy
that. I also didn't love the storyline
with the Sun and the Native American and his role in their
sort of like family or whatever and then the guy comes and busy
goes here you may fuck off. That's melting me already.
So I'm going, should I proceed with this just for the bets or
get the C Costner being a fucking boss?
Costner's. Brilliant.
He's a boss like he's Brit. Do you know what's a great
Costner movie that no one ever talks about?
By the way, Mr. Brooks, have you seen that?
Or he plays the serial killer. Well, it sounds like the
American like the American version of Mr Bing.
It's, it's, it's, it's a wee bit bloodier.
No, I I haven't seen many calls from movies.
Robin Hood Words of thieves. Yep, I've seen not the same
world world time cop. Tank Cop Bold Durham Wider,
wider downs of a coffee of dreams.
You must see the dreams. That's a banger.
Great. Build it and they will come.
Come. Draft day.
Oh, I haven't seen that. Was that cute?
Is that the? Is that the transfer deadline
they're showing? As long as it's sports or
Cowboys. He does go.
He does a great sports movie. To me I bought a few Yellowstone
inspired. Jackets danim with fur.
I bought one that like a Levi's classic, a bottle of Willy T in
Edinburgh. Classic Levi's denim jacket
right? And then I bought 2 like camel
Carhartt jackets that are very Yellowstone.
Massive. And a pair of stone wash Levi's
jeans. Can I tell you about a week of
an incident that I had over a number?
Yeah. This is this is the the plight
of the fat man. One O 1 here I went to five O 1.
We went to just look for T-shirts, right?
And I thought, you know, I like this wee green Star Wars one
that I found. Where were you headed?
Oh man, it was in fucking Tesco or something right now.
Anyway, you get you get nice cheap official licenced merch
there and I was in looking and because it was also hard to do a
big shop, so we did we did you know, this is a good thing about
going to a massive, you know what?
Tesco Extra, Tesco Extra Yeah. So we went there and it has met.
So it has, it has like everything you need for
Bolognese and clothes in the same place, so.
That's how the market. So it was great.
So I went then and got a wee Star Wars 12XL, right?
Go on. If it doesn't fit me now, I'm
going to use it as a wee, an incentive.
Get into that. An incentive?
I like that. I like that.
And then I bought myself and this is.
This is why I buy myself extra large boxes.
This is this is massive for me. This is massive for me.
I bought myself a sky blue. I bought myself a sky blue, a
soft triple XL Marvel T-shirt. It is smaller than the two XL
Star Wars. One see sizes nowadays, they're
all see people go, ah, that's quite a big fit.
That shouldn't be that. It should just let's get a
standard size, give me whenever it says triple XL, they're all
this, Yeah. And it gives me a wee bit of
room from it that. But I like that you've bought a
smaller. That's what I've done.
I mean, it'll probably sit there, you know?
Yeah, we'll just, we'll just stretch it.
No, no, no. I was about to be really
grimmer. What?
But would you set it roughly like a three XL?
Yeah. And you want to be A2 XL?
No, I want to be like. I want to be like an L so I have
3 access to go could. You be an L.
Could I be an L? Yeah.
Well, we'll soon say, say soon. Oh, you want to go for?
It I need to lose weight, Yeah, that's.
Not something, yeah, but that's I'm like a kick.
I'm not really on. I'm not on a kick.
I don't want to say that because you know what?
I've been on kicks for years. Yeah, I'm slowly transition.
I'm changing my life. What's been the issue?
I ate more than I move. I mean, that is that's the
general issue for fat guys. Some people want to hear a
tragic story about your thyroid glands.
I don't have them. I mean, I have a gland that
would be tragic. I would be highly under active.
You just didn't have them. What's the issue?
I was like, imagine you going over to somebody, sit and drink
in dirty water and a third world contract and go.
Why you doing that? Yeah, they know that's
different. It's not doesn't go what's no
it's why why you should thin. It's because.
There's no food. That's different, not why are
you drinking this water? Yeah, I would.
I would. I mean, here's the thing.
Can I say this? I don't know it would be.
Weird to see you as a nail and I don't know if I'd like it and I
think I'd try and tell you to go back to the three.
Man, I think I I believe that this is a thing that, you know,
people. I think that is a thing.
I also think it would be weird. Yeah, there's definitely a thing
that goes on your brain when you go.
But I'm, I'm a big guy and you go.
I would, you know, I'd love to see 50.
Look, Yeah. You know, I mean when you see
stories about like, look at that guy fucking wrestler 36 image as
me died last week. Bray Wyatt, Yeah.
That's crazy. Look.
See what I mean? But was.
Actually 41. Was that health, though?
He had a heart condition and then got COVID.
Really. Trish O'Neill had diabetics.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, and didn't manage it.
Yeah, yeah. Crazy.
I would love it if you like. It's the thing that you do when
you're a big unit, by the way, You look up the death ages of
other fat people and go, I'm alright, you know what I mean?
Look at that guy. What did you call that big?
Call Israel Kamakoli. Or Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Big Hawaiian fucking didn't know he's playing a guitar ukulele.
Fucking huge unit. Like he died.
He died stupidly. I think he was fucking 35 or
something. Oh shit, 39, something like
that. But I would love it if you find
like a really niche sport and that's what you've got to do for
weight loss, like Carlin or something.
I'm getting in the magic show. To lose weight yeah you're going
to make you're going to make sex to my.
Eyes are going to be scary. My hands are going to be like
Johnny Boos Taylors fingers like.
Speaking of the GP, you're like, I'm really going for it here.
What are you? What are you doing?
Are you walking? Are you, are you exercising?
Are you? No, no, no, just card card.
Tracks. Card tracks.
What are you doing? Juggle Mumball.
I would, yeah. Oh, do you know what I sort of
befriended? We I befriended, I spoke to him
a couple times at the Friends and he was super late on Martin
Moore. Oh yeah.
What a fucking great act. Yep, so good.
And he does the street street. Magic.
And he does all magic as well. Yeah, he was.
He was fucking brilliant, like such a good act to bring on and
like, good energy and just fun. Like I'm probably finally great
with a crowd. Would you do the Fringe again
like next year or you give it a break?
For well, maybe, but I wouldn't. I don't think I would do.
I don't think I would do the four weeks.
I don't think it's I don't think you need to.
And it was. I learned loads.
I'll say I learned. Loads Did you look after Wee
Willie T? Tried to.
He looked after me as well doing the compost.
Handy for wee bit of yeah. So for some of these like pay
what you want shows, which is what the compilation show that
William and Mickey ran and you did most of the time there's a
pocket at the end and you put in what you want or a card reader,
which blows my mind because I did the Fringe first time 2012.
If you told me it was a Magic card reader, she's that's Magic.
Magic Card Reader in 2012 was just a show.
Yeah, So I at the end, so we were all on the lineup, wasn't
seeing it was me, you, Vittorio, Mickey, William.
Is that it? I think I was that.
Yeah, yeah. For for free.
For free, but it's called. I take it to all those shows,
£250. And there was no way MC, so we
were just doing what's called past the mic.
So it's like you just bring the next guy on, bring the next guy
on, you go on last. Hold on.
No, no. No, no, no, you hold on Kieran.
I'm actually the name of that Luke Graham song for you is Hold
On. Kieran's on last.
So when you're on last, we do set the audience, guys.
There's bucket at the end. You put in whatever you feel
issues worst, you give a wee speech, you say it's free to get
in, it's not free to get out right.
The show halfway through Kieran said Willie and we're all doing
like 15 minutes. So halfway through, Kieran said
so about 40 minutes into him, William and Mickey go to the I
did the Moy last week for Sean, right?
I said made alone. You want me to do him headline
He goes anything 25 minutes, half an hour he goes.
Kieran did an hour and 10 so stop doing that because then
people think we're all going to do that.
I. Did that because it was an
excellent show. Oh, it was an excellent show
when I did it, but there's something to be said for.
To be fair as well, I didn't have my watch that night and
I've learned, Shane, look at that.
Do you know why it's all now? Because I'm gigging tomorrow and
tonight. Yes, that's when it changed your
life. It has changed my life.
I didn't run over anywhere. So what this compilation show
halfway through, Kieran said. Mickey and Willie go to the door
with the bucket and the card reader and Karen is last on.
And Karen at the end of the SEC goes, alright, folks, have me,
Karen Bartlett, thank you. And everyone leaves and Mickey
and Willy are like, they're seeing all this money walk out
the door. And Victorio has to run up on
the stage and go, guys, there's a bucket at the end.
All this and you're like, shit. And it was obviously an obvious
mistake. You didn't know.
And I said, guys, see, if this was Karen's compilation show,
that mistake would never have been made.
Do you know why I wouldn't have been made?
Because I would have made sure that the wee man going on last
knew that he had to give a speech.
I was asked to come to the comp. I was doing the comp most
nights. I did what I did every night.
Somebody came up after me every night.
I didn't know that it was a a baton pass, that I needed to say
anything. Nobody told me and I my own show
finished at half 11, which is after the Compass started.
Did you reimburse making William?
Yep, in kind. In kind.
What was the most that any of the comp shoes yard like anyone
put in? I got a 50 point note at the
2012 French. I don't know from my dad.
I didn't ask before. I just creamed what I creamed
and went and spent it in takeaways.
Now we. Did the goblins go to Edinburgh?
I made the goblins right in force.
Like yeah, I've. Done the Royal Mile all day.
They were lovely. I am.
I I was, Yeah. Just going on to see here, on to
see. Don't worry.
It's just Karen Barnett throwing a wood cleaner at his wife's
head. Don't worry, On to see.
Did. You go to the castle at any
point. Yes.
Did you? Admit I did, I did loads of
touristy. I just want to know a.
Bit of mysteries. Oh no.
But we bonus. Content thing.
I did a bonus content thing over trip to Roslyn.
Roslyn Chapel, You know, from the Da Vinci Code.
The Holy Grail. Shane, we've let anyway.
Jesus, I started my grill. I don't remember info after we
do an episode on. So we went, we went to Ross.
So the day we went to Ross and I was blindfolded.
No, I wasn't allowed in over, well say blindfolded or
something like that. And.
Your and then your employee went on a trip.
I'm Kevin Elling. They came over for a few days,
you see, so. You're in your apartment, your
family and your wife were there, and you you're blindfolded.
No, no, we left and once we got out of, once we were outside of
the main bed of Edinburgh because it's about 1/2 an hour
drive. Once we're driven for about 10
minutes, they didn't want me to see any.
They didn't want me to see any experience.
Say, where's this gig tonight by Norway after you've been driving
for 20 minutes? No, no, no, it's about half an
hour. No, it's 1/2 an hour on the
after. 15 miles after 5. No, that isn't what I said.
That isn't what I meant I meant. That's what you said, that's
what you meant. It isn't what I meant, but it's
about half an hour all together and after we had driven for 10
minutes, I was blindfolded. No, it's brilliant, a great
place to go see. I got some exciting books.
I got some. Two things shouldn't go
together. I got some, I got people.
We we trinkets from there. Do you want me one?
No. And I got, I got Chloe a wee
trinket box. I got my Mama wee present anyway
and then I went. Oh, they've a great week.
Cafe in there. Good on special.
Records in Scotland. A special a special week cafe
like I mean really good we nearly we actually went back me
and Chloe went back to Rosslyn on the last day and we were
going to do a wee dirties in that cafe and we started filming
and we were like you know what no content today let's just
enjoy this Yep Yep so we. Don't always have to be on.
So we did that, but then we went to we went to another castle as
well called Thurlaston. Heard of it?
Which is like outside Edinburgh again, I think about 45 minutes
away after five. And, and we, it's like a big
estate and a castle where like the Earl of the Jackson lives a
big castle and like, so like a big home, you know, and, and
they were doing that thing where they're like, oh, the poor are
like, you know, and how he doesn't, you know, the house,
you know, he so he, he, he, he had to give the house to your
trust. Now you can, now you can buy it
back at any time for a pound. I'm going.
So he owns the house. Yeah.
So, so here. So he owns the house.
Yeah. And he's using a charitable
cause to get these fucking 17th century ceilings.
Report. Yeah.
Far enough. Don't make, don't try and make,
don't try and make me feel sorry for the guy whose seats are
worth more than my fucking house.
I'm never feeling sorry for someone called the Earl.
The Earl Yeah. So that was a good place to go.
We went to some. Part of James R Jones.
Kevin, Ellen and Chloe went and did like they went to the
Edinburgh dungeons and all that stuff, but I don't like being
underground. So we went, we went to the, we
went to the the castle. Me and Chloe did and it's good.
It was good. I'll say this.
Absolutely brutal down there. Like do you know, Chloe came up
with the idea of going, She knows Edinburgh, she's been her
a fair bit. She was like, listen, there's
steps up to it from the side and it'll be easier than walking up
the whole mile. And I went right, but we got
dropped like about 8 flights of steps away from the flights she
was talking. After two flights.
And so I wanted to absolutely commit.
Like, I mean, I at one point, I actually dreamed about turning
around and just rolling down the steps.
Yeah, like the cannonball kid out of the hook.
And it was brutal. So we got up there, walked
around it. We did queue for like 25 minutes
to see the what? The Pearl.
To go see the the Scottish crown jewels all right, like they have
like a sceptre. I wanted to go and see, get some
inspo, you know, from a new kind of get myself a sceptre and so
that was good to go see. The castle was a wee bit amazing
views, but a wee bit right in places and a wee bit, you know.
Don't you remember when we used to go around the world cutting
people down, Nigel? You know what I mean?
It was a wee bit like that because we walked around the
whole military. But I need to P 10 out of 10.
So you wrap this episode up. Just plug mystery.
So we do. You want me to wrap it up or do
you want me to wrap it up? The way the number, we'll just
go. I've been here.
No, no, no, wrap it up, talk about mysteries and then like
your tour and stuff like. That is it already wrap though
and you're just getting me to talk.
If it is still rolling, please don't make a deck out of me
lads. If it is still rolling, Shane
and I are Co hosting a podcast called Myth Series, which is
where we try to decipher the truth between myth and history
out of important historical events.
I hope you can come check it out.
It's going to be on Shane's YouTube.
It's on wherever you get your podcasts and we're releasing it
early on Patreon every week on I think it comes out on Mondays on
YouTube and and we're going to be.
So there's 10 episodes of a limited series and then we'll
see where it goes from there. Who knows?
We cover everything from Julius Caesar and the Pirates through
to Joan of Arc. It's an exciting time.
This has been a lot of fun. Nice new sheets in here.
I hope it is still rolling SSE. I'm doing the SSE Whoop whoop in
N2 gigs. The 10th and the 24th. 10th is
sold out but we might be releasing some new tickets for
it. The 24th is over half now so
over half sold out. So please buy tickets.
Also we've got the Table Me podcast coming up soon but I
think that is sold out so you're too late.
And no blasters live in the Mandela Hall which is in 1st of
October. 1st on the 1st of October in the Mandela Hall
Queens. It's going to be a lot of fun.
Special guests FIFA on the big screen and we're going to jock
Sure now, so see us bye.