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I'm Michael Che. 
And I'm Colin Jose, and we've 

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got a little secret. 
Actually, it's a pretty big 

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secret. 
Well, now you got to give the 

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people something. 
I'm not saying a word. 

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Oh, then people will know to 
tune in. 

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Come on, tell them a little. 
Black Hour hosting of comedy 

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events streaming only on 
Peacock. 

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Exactly how it's called New York
After Dark, and it's a comedy 

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show that only features drop in 
comics. 

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Boom, you nail. 
Into Michael Che's phone. 

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Nervous. 
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey, hey.

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New York After Dark. 
It's some kind of comedy thing, 

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and it's streaming now only on 
Peacock. 

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You love it. 
Zippers, welcome to this episode

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of the Tea with Me podcast With 
me, she and Todd. 

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If you're watching the video 
version of this podcast, you're 

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going to notice a couple of 
things. 

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Number one, I'm sitting in front
of a green screen that I got out

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from the roof space so that I 
could do virtual backgrounds on 

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Zoom. 
And if you're watching the video

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version of the podcast, I still 
haven't. 

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I wouldn't say I've cracked the 
virtual background, but check 

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this out. 
So yeah, that's one thing. 

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The other thing is you may also 
know we're going to notice a 

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couple other things. 
One is you're going to notice 

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still very, very cute. 
I'm still cute. 

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The hairs looking good. 
It's looking healthy, radiant. 

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I've got like one giant curtain 
and that's fine. 

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And the reason everything's fine
is because I've had a baby. 

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I have had a little baby. 
I mean, I say I have. 

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I think it's fair to say my wife
played as big a part, if not a 

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bigger part than me, You know, 
for the baby being born. 

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A lot of what I did is just say,
is everything OK? 

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Is everything OK? 
And yeah, this is going to be a 

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shorter podcast, if that's OK. 
Because, you know, the money. 

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Told he was thinking about 
hiring like a team of nannies, 

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but he decided that the best 
thing to do would be just do the

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podcast. 
OK, so we're taking. 

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Yeah, I mean, people won't 
expect this. 

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And me, we're taking care of 
baby ourselves. 

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And I'm actually doing stuff. 
But I'm talking with like, a 

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whispered voice. 
So it's going to be a shorter 

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podcast. 
You might have to turn the 

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volume up because I've been 
speaking like this for the past 

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week because I don't want to 
wake the baby. 

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And then a lot of people have 
pointed out to me, which is 

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totally fair. 
Hey, man, if you keep 

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whispering, then anytime you 
take him somewhere when he's 

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older and people talk at, I 
don't know, normal volume, he's 

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going to have a fucking heart 
attack. 

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So I'm going to try and talk at 
normal, normal speed. 

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But also I've got the phone on 
standby as well just in case, 

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because I'll tell you a little 
bit about my baby, just a little

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bit. 
But one thing I'm going to tell 

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you is he's a big boy. 
He is a big boy and he was a big

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boy when he was born to the 
point where he was more than £9.

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In fact, he's more than 9.5. 
Let's just leave it at that. 

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He, he, he is that big that and 
when I talk about the, the baby 

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and all that kind of stuff, and 
that's kind of what this episode

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is going to be. 
I'll just share with you a 

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little bit about my, my last 
week, Not my last week as in 

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like after this week, I'm just 
done. 

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I mean, the, the week that has 
just passed, we had a water 

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birth, which was beautiful, like
really, really good. 

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There was a nice tranquil 
environment. 

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I was playing also from now on 
the podcast, I do laugh at my 

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own jokes and I'm going to be 
doing it even more because I'm a

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lame dad guy and I just laugh at
things. 

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That's that's just the way it 
is. 

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I just laugh at things that 
aren't that funny because that's

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what dads do. 
And a lot of time I wear a 

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fleece and just stand with my 
hands on my hips and go boys a 

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deer. 
So that's something we're going 

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to have to deal with. 
But yeah, it was a nice 

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atmosphere for the water births.
I was playing palm pipes, 

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creating a really nice 
environment, and I'm speaking 

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low at the minute. 
As I say, I'm and I'm very aware

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I'm trying not to do that, but 
I'm aware it sounds like an ASMR

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podcast where people speak like 
this and ASMR is not to be 

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confused with BDSM, which is 
what I told someone that I don't

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know that well. 
Once that I had been looking at 

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ASMR videos to find out what it 
was. 

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And I said to them, I've just 
been watching a lot of BDSM 

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videos. 
And then the person was like, 

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OK, and I thought I know ASMR is
weird and I find it weird and 

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that's why I was watching the 
videos to see if it was weird. 

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And I thought it was weird, but 
then they thought I was watching

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BDSM, and that's very 
aggressive. 

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PDSM is aggressive, and it's 
aggressive for me to have said 

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that. 
But here's the point. 

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It was a tranquil environment. 
It was nice. 

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The baby was born in water. 
I did not know up until really 

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that it happened that that 
really was the thing the whole 

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time. 
I was like, is what our water 

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bursts real? 
Like, what are we doing here? 

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What are we? 
How does it work, you know? 

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But it was lovely and it was 
really, really good. 

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And I got to be there for it 
because your boy was like, you 

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know, that, you know, that the 
money tool was going to be put 

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in some strings somehow. 
He was talking about, you know, 

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doing a medical degree to try 
and get in the hospital for 

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longer. 
But luckily I was of course able

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to be there for the birth, which
was great. 

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Because of coronavirus, the dads
are basically being told like, 

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hey, go and live in your car, 
which is very, very sly. 

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But the I'll get on the hospital
staff and stuff in a second 

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because, you know, everyone has 
caught up in this whole 

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rightfully so, this whole like 
how amazing are the NHS? 

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The the idea I never really 
thought about, like the idea of 

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someone being, by the way, 
there's all going to be rambling

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this podcast, the idea of 
someone being a midwife before, 

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like it might like you literally
like give people their babies 

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every single day, probably 
sometimes more than once a day, 

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2 times a day. 
I don't know how much just the 

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best people, the best people 
ever, but I want to try and stay

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on point. 
We so we had a water birth. 

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There were two midwives with us 
who were absolutely brilliant 

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and the environment was was 
nice. 

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I had a little flask of tea 
genuinely, and I was like, you 

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know, is your boy still able to 
drink tea during because I'm 

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focused, but I'm also like I've 
got a little bit of a thirst on.

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So I was able to have quite a 
lot of my tea, which really made

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me happy. 
Also, for some reason I brought 

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442 football magazine like in 
the journal Labour. 

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There would be a good point just
to, you know, read a little 

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about about Brazil's 1980 World 
Cup squad, which is 

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quintessential me, you know, 
quintessential meme. 

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Wife's having contractions. 
You know, she's just like, she's

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really trying to focus and 
stuff. 

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And just like, where are you? 
I need your help. 

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And I'm like, listen, they are 
doing an exclusive interview 

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with Fistino Esprit. 
So I didn't get the Raymond 

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magazine, but I'm not upset 
about that because we just had 

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the best time. 
But it was a big baby and he 

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came out of the water and I 
never thought about that before.

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The idea that the baby actually 
comes out of the what, you know,

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gets helped out of the water. 
Let me just say this and you 

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know, I'm not going to go into 
details. 

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And from from now on, even in 
this podcast, when I talk about 

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the baby and stuff, just give a 
wee bit of chat here and there. 

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But I think, and there's a real 
wanky thing to say, but 

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everything is like social media.
Everything lives on social 

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media. 
You know, I totally get when 

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people have pictures of babies 
up and videos everyday, all that

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kind of stuff. 
I love it and I love to see it. 

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But there's just something where
I'm like, he he hasn't, you 

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know, he hasn't said to us, 
listen, give me a real Instagram

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present. 
So until he says and what? 

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And it's going to happen 
someday. 

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He's going to go, Papa, I'm 
ready to be a star. 

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And I go, yes, my boy, and I'll 
smoke a big cigar and then me 

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and him will tour. 
I don't know what we'll do. 

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Maybe stand up. 
I don't know what will happen. 

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But fuck. 
This is rambly. 

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Listen, what I'm saying is he 
was that big when he came out of

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the water out of the bath 
because it is a big giant bath 

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where the woman gives birth. 
And when he was brought out of 

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the water, I thought there was a
chance that a Porter that worked

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in the hospital had been doing a
few lengths before we got into 

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the pool and then they'd just 
forgotten to take him out 

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because it it was a baby that 
came out. 

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But also at the same time, I 
thought it might have been a 24 

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year old guy because when he 
came out of the water, I'm not 

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saying he's big, but when he 
came out of the water, his first

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words straight away were just 
what's happening. 

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He was the biggest guy. 
He literally, he came out, got 

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me in a headlong and went what's
happening? 

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He's a big boy and I like to see
it. 

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I like to see it. 
And then it was, it was just so 

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surreal. 
The whole thing was just so 

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surreal. 
Probably the madest thing about 

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it is the idea of like, and by 
the way, if at any point I cry 

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in this podcast, this podcast is
a safe space. 

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So you never get to make fun of 
me because of it, because it's 

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comedy podcast and you go up to 
me and you'll be like, oh, there

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he is the Garner or something. 
I don't know what you'll call 

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me, but just don't be sly. 
I'm going to try and make this 

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point and then I'm going to wrap
up the baby talk and we're going

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to get into the podcast because 
I've got until I don't know when

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you usually listen to this, but 
I've really given myself to 1:00

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before I've gotta go back 
downstairs and I'm a man on age 

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for absolutely no reason because
he's the best baby boy in the 

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world. 
Anyway, what I'll say is this 

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the idea of love at first sight.
I I love the idea of it, but I 

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don't believe in it. 
Like between partners, you know,

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like you see like an attractive 
girl or guy when you're an adult

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then and you and you, you're 
like, Oh, I just fell in love 

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with him straight away. 
I don't believe that. 

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I think you can have obviously 
an instant attraction and a real

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strong attraction straight away.
But like the be in love straight

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away. 
I don't really think that's 

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true. 
But it's different with a baby 

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because whenever you see the 
baby for the first time, you, 

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the, it's just that it's that 
moment where straight away 

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you're like, I would do anything
for you. 

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You know, it's, it's, it's such 
a surreal moment. 

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And I, I am a crier, right? 
Just in general. 

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Well, if something's like 
emotional, especially involved 

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in like family or, or my wife or
anything like like sentiment, I 

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love like things like, like nice
moments and stuff like that, 

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like finding out we were 
pregnant, all that kind of 

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thing. 
My I streamed going to scans big

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crier. 
So I thought like whenever I'm 

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handed this baby, even though 
he's just out of the bath, he's 

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going to be in another bath of 
my tears. 

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I'm bath of my tears. 
By the way, was the theme of the

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emo band I was in at university.
We supported My Chemical Romance

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and fucking Kitty dillies. 
I don't know. 

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I'm trying to move on from the 
point because I don't want to 

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cry. 
But listen, that moment was just

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mad and I didn't really cry at 
the start because I was in like 

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protector mode. 
I just he was great. 

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Like he came out, he was loving 
it. 

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You know, he's big boy. 
So he basically stood up, had a 

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stretch and he took my 442 
magazine started looking boots 

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00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,600
at the back of it. 
He's like they're nice boots, 

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they predators and that that 
moment was just nothing will 

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00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:20,720
ever put it into words and 
that's why I don't want to spend

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too long talking about it in the
podcast. 

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But hopefully everyone you know,
when you listen to this podcast,

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it's silly nonsense is all that 
kind of thing. 

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Wanted to share a little bit of 
what I've been at then the, the 

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00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:39,360
birth and stuff like that. 
But a lot of it will, will just 

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be between the family, you know,
because I think it's just lovely

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00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,840
to have that ourselves. 
You know, it's a, it's a private

226
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,360
thing. 
It's a very, very personal 

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00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,120
thing. 
I think having a baby for, for 

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00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:54,120
us anyway. 
So, so I'm really happy to be 

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back doing the podcast 'cause I,
I miss doing this. 

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00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,840
And no, that's a there you go. 
That's a lie. 

231
00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:03,840
I didn't miss doing this at all.
And I really had to psych myself

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00:13:03,840 --> 00:13:06,360
up to come, to come up and 
record this because I don't want

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to be away from the baby. 
But but he's a weak, he's a week

234
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:15,080
old today that I recorded this 
and I'm just having the best 

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time. 
I'm having the best time. 

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00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:19,440
But at the same time, as much as
I'd love to just live in this 

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00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:22,640
world 24/7 where I just kind of 
wear pants around the house, 

238
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:24,080
which is what I do really all 
day. 

239
00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,880
And then one day the health 
visitor called and I answered 

240
00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,400
the door and the baby moms and I
was like, hello, I'm not wearing

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00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:32,040
any really clothes. 
And she went, is your wife? 

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00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,960
And I said, Yep. 
And then she came in and she's 

243
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,920
like, all right, it's good that 
you weren't boxers because I 

244
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:37,280
thought you meant you weren't 
wearing any clothes. 

245
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:39,520
And I was like, I don't know why
I would have answered the door 

246
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,160
in that case. 
Like, how desperate would have 

247
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,760
been to get an Amazon package? 
I don't know. 

248
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,960
But But yeah, you know, your boy
is, is sort. 

249
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,760
He's working from home. 
He's doing the podcast up here. 

250
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,960
He is going to be back in the 
studio pretty soon, I would say,

251
00:13:52,960 --> 00:13:55,800
you know, we'll just we'll do 
like a soft open and that's what

252
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:57,960
we'll call it. 
We'll just we'll go back a day 

253
00:13:57,960 --> 00:14:00,680
here and there and then we'll 
try and get back to some sort of

254
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,120
new normality. 
We take a sip of tea, by the 

255
00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:09,680
way, because all I've been 
drinking is tea, but it's it's 

256
00:14:09,680 --> 00:14:12,600
it's a great time. 
Also, what's difficult for me 

257
00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:17,160
is, is I love sleep. 
Is I love sleep and oh fuck, I 

258
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:23,680
forgot to tell you guys this. 
Wait, now I do not want to be 

259
00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:26,640
called a hero. 
Let me make that clear before I 

260
00:14:26,640 --> 00:14:29,880
say this. 
The day our baby came, I started

261
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:31,600
to get a toothache, really bad 
toothache. 

262
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:36,200
And in the delivery suite and 
taking him home, it was the best

263
00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:37,840
time in my life. 
But also I had a real bad 

264
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:42,080
toothache and it was really 
sore, really sensitive. 

265
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:45,760
I'm a sensitive guy and I had a 
sensitive tooth and at one point

266
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,400
the midwife came in about an 
hour after the baby was born 

267
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:52,680
just to check everything was OK.
And she said is he all right? 

268
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:58,440
And I thought she was talking 
about me and I went to say yeah,

269
00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:02,520
it's still a wee bit sore. 
And then I realised chances are 

270
00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,040
she's talking with the newborn 
baby. 

271
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:08,400
So I soldiered on. 
But then your boy got himself 

272
00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:12,080
sorted tooth wise. 
Two days after the baby was 

273
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:17,120
home. 
I went down to Lurgan just for 

274
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,200
the crack. 
No, I didn't. 

275
00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:24,320
I went down to Lurgan because my
mom Michael, my mom my I 

276
00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:28,000
basically I sent out the bat 
signal and I said, listen, my 

277
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:31,160
tooth is knackered. 
It's had a, it's had a bad time 

278
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:32,720
here. 
I need help. 

279
00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,080
I need help. 
And I shone the bat symbol into 

280
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:39,240
the sky and Mama Michael 
answered it. 

281
00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:46,360
Church police, dental. 
Church Police Dental, if you and

282
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:48,960
listen, they're not even a 
sponsor, but it's been part of, 

283
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:54,120
it's a major part of my week. 
Michael at Church Place Dental 

284
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:58,800
is my hero because he sorted 
your boy's tooth and sent them 

285
00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:03,200
on his way. 
And they are, listen, if you 

286
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,760
have teeth, speak to Church 
Place Dental and Oregon. 

287
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:10,560
And that's our new slogan. 
Couldn't have been happier. 

288
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:15,160
I was in Lurgan, so I was edgy, 
you know, I was a little bit on 

289
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:16,360
edge. 
I was like, are people going to 

290
00:16:16,360 --> 00:16:17,600
try and steal my shoes or 
whatever? 

291
00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:20,600
No, stop thinking like that 
because Lorgan actually is a 

292
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:21,840
great place. 
I mean, I would say a great 

293
00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:23,480
place. 
It's a fine place, but it's 

294
00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:27,480
better because it has Church 
Place Dental in it and they took

295
00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,800
care of me and that's where 
you've got to go. 

296
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:32,360
And I don't know if I can say 
Michael surname, but then again 

297
00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:33,520
I'm thinking I don't know why 
you couldn't. 

298
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,200
And he's called Michael O'Neill 
and I enjoy that because that is

299
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,360
the name of the former Northern 
Ireland manager, but he is not 

300
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:39,640
the former Northern Ireland 
manager. 

301
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,240
So it's been a good time apart 
from my root canal, but I'm just

302
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:47,120
saying I got, I got through it 
guys with a bad tooth and the 

303
00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,440
tooth's really good now. 
So there you go. 

304
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:53,320
Before we move on, I want to 
thank not I want to thank. 

305
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,000
I don't know why I'm doing 
acceptance speech from baby 

306
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,840
here. 
I just want to thank everyone. 

307
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:59,160
I want to thank the director. 
I want to thank. 

308
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,480
No, I was talking about midwives
and hospital stuff. 

309
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:06,480
By the way, that was my arm. 
That wasn't my bottom hospital 

310
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:13,359
staff and then nurses and 
doctors and everybody like that 

311
00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,040
at the at the Ulster. 
And I'm sure it's the same 

312
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:23,720
everywhere. 
Just all, all heroes just made 

313
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:28,480
it the best time for us. 
And the it's the fact that those

314
00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:31,400
people like I'm, I'm same 
midwives here, but all like 

315
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,920
healthcare professionals and all
that kind of thing. 

316
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,240
I'm saying about like, I 
genuinely want a pat in the back

317
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:42,080
because I had to get a root 
canal with a newborn baby. 

318
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:47,000
They give you babies, you know 
what I mean? 

319
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:53,200
Like they deliver babies. 
They make that happen and are 

320
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,240
just the loveliest people at the
same time. 

321
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:59,080
And then it's just like a bit of
a sleep again, back tomorrow, 

322
00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:05,160
always having the, you know, 
genuinely fight for pay raises 

323
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,880
and all that kind of thing. 
Why? 

324
00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:13,840
Why are they having to do that? 
They are genuine heroes. 

325
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,720
And yeah, I could go on and talk
about them for a long time, but 

326
00:18:17,720 --> 00:18:19,560
I'm going to finish talking 
about my baby by saying this. 

327
00:18:19,560 --> 00:18:23,960
I'm going to finish by saying 
this. 

328
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,320
It's been a great week. 
It's been a great week. 

329
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:34,160
And I want to thank all the 
zippers for, you know, we, we 

330
00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,760
banked a couple of podcasts. 
We recorded a couple beforehand 

331
00:18:37,120 --> 00:18:39,880
without Rory Woods and Mark 
McCartney and sort of dripped 

332
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:42,320
those out. 
So thanks a million. 

333
00:18:42,320 --> 00:18:45,440
And everyone who's still been 
listening to the podcast and you

334
00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,320
know, I've still been checking 
the social media, but not doing 

335
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,840
10% as much as I was doing for, 
for, for this week. 

336
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:56,000
But you know, I put a little I 
was 5050 by putting a picture on

337
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:59,760
Instagram, just put like a kind 
of hidden and off pitch, you 

338
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,360
know what I mean? 
It wasn't like, here's my baby's

339
00:19:01,360 --> 00:19:03,800
face, You know, it's just a nice
wee moment. 

340
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:08,080
I thought I'll put this up 
because I do like sharing some 

341
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,320
stuff from my life, you know, 
personal life. 

342
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:12,400
But you know, it's just little 
bits. 

343
00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:14,320
I think that's what we all like 
to do, just little bits. 

344
00:19:15,680 --> 00:19:22,160
And this basically, I put a 
picture up on on Instagram and 

345
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,680
pissed off because I've been 
putting Keith Cruz videos up the

346
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:29,160
whole week up to that. 
And you know, this got like 10 

347
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:32,200
times more likes than any of the
Keith Cruz videos picture of me 

348
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:35,680
on my baby. 
So that's disrespectful, but at 

349
00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:39,840
the same, but I'm not. 
But at the same time, just all 

350
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:42,320
the lovely comments and messages
that I got from a lot of zippers

351
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:44,360
as well. 
Just saying congratulations, 

352
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,560
hope everything's well. 
That means a lot. 

353
00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:50,120
And I had a real good time 
reading through those and and 

354
00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:51,400
thanks again. 
Appreciate it. 

355
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,240
So we are going to just have a 
bit of fun on the pod because 

356
00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:57,080
that's what I, that's what I've 
been wanting to do. 

357
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:01,000
But before we move on, let me 
plug the patreonpatreon.com/tea 

358
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,400
With me podcast. 
And thanks very much to everyone

359
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:06,360
on the Patreon because we 
haven't done the bonus episode 

360
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:09,360
in the last week or two, but we 
are getting back to that this 

361
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:11,080
week. 
Me and producer Dan doing those 

362
00:20:11,080 --> 00:20:13,200
episodes. 
And so thanks to all the new 

363
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,720
patreons and thanks to everyone 
who's who's bare with us. 

364
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,400
We have put out the I'll get to 
that in a second, but 

365
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,920
patreon.com/TV podcast to get 
the bonus. 

366
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:25,560
Episode and so much more stuff 
my special from the waterfront 

367
00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:29,600
hall is on there from last year 
the whole concert, which you can

368
00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:33,400
watch exclusively on Patreon and
down the line it'll be on 

369
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:36,320
YouTube and all that but for a 
good while it's just for the 

370
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,040
zippers on Patreon. 
So I have to give a quick shout 

371
00:20:40,040 --> 00:20:43,320
out to everyone on the Patreon, 
which is and I'll just run 

372
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,600
through these people really fast
because they are the zippers 

373
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:49,440
that support the podcast and 
make it all happen and and it's 

374
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,040
always appreciated. 
Thank you very much to Drum. 

375
00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,360
Please. 
Ryan. 

376
00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:55,240
Paddy be awesome. 
OK. 

377
00:20:55,400 --> 00:21:00,240
Thomas, GG William, Harry. 
Henai, Aaron, Lauren, Kevin 

378
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:04,840
Ryan, Declan, Andrew Jordan, 
Tasha James Jordan Oliver, John 

379
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:06,320
Reese, Lauren. 
Haley. 

380
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,240
Phelim, Joanna. 
Rory. 

381
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:09,200
Phelim. 
Yes, I can. 

382
00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:10,360
Ryan. 
Patrick. 

383
00:21:10,360 --> 00:21:11,720
Vincey. 
That's such a dad joke. 

384
00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:14,520
Martin, Nicky. 
James, Daniel. 

385
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:16,120
Owen, Gary. 
Connor, Emma. 

386
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,960
Patrick, Andrew, Christina, 
Connor, Katrina, Ruth or my 

387
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,880
Apples. 
Tommy is real name, which is mad

388
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,240
Chloe, Dave, Carol, Kieran, 
Sarah, Lisa. 

389
00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,320
We'll have one more page of 
these guys and I'm But I'm 

390
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:29,680
running out of breath. 
But it's been good so far. 

391
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,480
And if I don't make it through 
all this because I faint and 

392
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:34,720
then I I forget to cut that bit 
out of the video podcast, send 

393
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:36,560
me a message and let me know and
say, man, there's a bit where 

394
00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:38,280
you fainted during this. 
I think it'd be better if you 

395
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,040
got it out. 
Jillian, Donna, Peggy, Ashley, 

396
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:45,400
Paul, Noel, Brian Sheehan, Joan,
Johnny, Reese, Adam, Emma, 

397
00:21:45,400 --> 00:21:49,360
Aaron, Terry, Matthew, Andy 
Karras, Orla, Matthew, Peter, 

398
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:53,600
Julie, Rebus, Rebus, Aaron, Nile
and worm ball. 

399
00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,800
So to everyone, and that's on 
the Patreon. 

400
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:00,280
I appreciate yous all and just 
appreciate everyone who listens 

401
00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:03,880
to this podcast. 
We have merch, we have 

402
00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:09,080
merchandise. 
And I want to let me see. 

403
00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:11,240
Oh, yeah. 
So producer Dan basically has 

404
00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:13,560
been holding the Fort. 
I say holding the Fort. 

405
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:17,080
If anyone's seen the free 
Britney campaign, free Shane. 

406
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:20,080
Because, listen, this guy has 
not let me take any time really 

407
00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:21,720
for myself and my baby and my 
wife. 

408
00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:25,520
Dan was in the delivery suite 
with us and they said, Shane, 

409
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,360
would you like to cut the cord? 
And he said, no, he's got to do 

410
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:32,120
a read from Manscaped. 
You know, he he is a slave 

411
00:22:32,120 --> 00:22:35,360
driver and he controls me and my
money. 

412
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:39,160
And this is my appeal that we 
need to get me my freedom back. 

413
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:45,640
OK, OK, Donald Trump. 
So we have merch. 

414
00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:49,920
We have merch and and I will 
post it all up, but we have 

415
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:52,680
separate T-shirts. 
We've got money to T-shirts, 

416
00:22:52,680 --> 00:22:54,360
we've got mugs and all that kind
of thing. 

417
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:57,960
I think all the Keith Cruz stuff
is genuinely sold out, which is 

418
00:22:58,120 --> 00:23:00,640
which is really brilliant. 
So cheers to everyone who bought

419
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,600
bought a Keith Cruz summer 
soccer T-shirt. 

420
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:06,960
They should be getting shipped 
in the next week, I think. 

421
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,920
So, yeah, cheers. 
We saw way more of those than I 

422
00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,480
thought we were going to and 
that was great too, to sort of 

423
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:13,800
get that text. 
Whenever had the little baby and

424
00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:15,800
Morms, I was like, Oh yeah, 
people showing love for the 

425
00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,320
cruising. 
I'm looking at Dan's e-mail who 

426
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,080
says yeah, tell him about the 
merch. 

427
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:23,560
Yes, I've done that down for 
God's sake. 

428
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:29,320
Also, for certain tier patreons,
we're doing the first raffle for

429
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,960
one bit of free merch on this 
week's Patreon podcast. 

430
00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,880
So that's another reason to join
the Patreon. 

431
00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:38,520
You get a chance to be in. 
You get a chance to be in with a

432
00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,040
chance. 
Fuck off, Shane. 

433
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,120
There is a chance to get some 
free merch as well. 

434
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,880
So they go the only read. 
The only other read that I have 

435
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:50,040
to do is our sponsor, but I'm 
not going to do that yet because

436
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,720
I want to get into the listeners
questions. 

437
00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:55,040
But what I probably will do and 
look guys, a lot of us are going

438
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,520
man. 
Yes, it is a bit rambly. 

439
00:23:57,520 --> 00:23:59,360
We we're going to give you a 
little bit of grace because you 

440
00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:04,360
just had a baby, you know, but 
at the same time, why have you 

441
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,280
not brought the proper camera 
out to do this? 

442
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,760
I could have, but at the same 
time I've just decided to film 

443
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,600
on Zoom and that is a little bit
lazy. 

444
00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,320
But hey, that's just me at the 
minute. 

445
00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:18,520
I'm just a lazy dad guy for a 
little while, but I'll be back 

446
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:22,400
to it in no time. 
So in fact, fuck it, we'll just 

447
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,560
do Manscape really quickly. 
Guys, forgive me. 

448
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:27,680
I know I am being a rambler. 
I know I'm being a rambler. 

449
00:24:27,680 --> 00:24:29,280
I'm a rambler. 
I'm a midnight gambler. 

450
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:34,880
I'm I don't know what else, but 
we have a big sponsor and we're 

451
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:36,040
really grateful to have a 
sponsor. 

452
00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:39,640
It's class that we do. 
It's the lawnmower 3.0 from 

453
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:42,960
Manscape. 
Now they have some stuff here. 

454
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:44,600
They're like, listen, tell the 
listeners about this. 

455
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:46,640
First and foremost. 
I'm just going to get to it 

456
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,520
because I'm a dad who just gets 
to the point. 

457
00:24:49,520 --> 00:24:50,960
What's happening with your 
pubes? 

458
00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:56,960
What's happening? 
Let's not be afraid to use this 

459
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:59,040
taboo word. 
What's happening with your pubic

460
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,280
hair? 
Could your pubic hair look 

461
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:02,160
better? 
Yes. 

462
00:25:02,480 --> 00:25:05,480
This isn't in what I have to, 
you know, mention for the read 

463
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:09,600
through the British Dan sends 
me, but 97% the guys in Northern

464
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:13,240
Ireland have crazy pubes, big 
bushes. 

465
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:16,720
I don't want to see that. 
I don't want to see anyone's 

466
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,520
views apart from my I don't even
really want to see my own. 

467
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:20,920
Well, do now because I use 
manscape. 

468
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,320
But what I'm saying is Manscape 
have this razor. 

469
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,120
It's an electric trimmer and 
it's called the lawnmower 3.0. 

470
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:31,200
It is the best in below the belt
men's grooming. 

471
00:25:31,400 --> 00:25:35,040
They offer precision engineer 
tools for your family jewels. 

472
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,840
Essentially, they've just 
developed the perfect ball 

473
00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,840
trimmer. 
That's the way it is. 

474
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,320
Main producer Dan have used 
this. 

475
00:25:42,640 --> 00:25:45,160
We have seen first hand the 
benefits of it on the other 

476
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,320
person and I can't recommend it 
enough. 

477
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:52,320
And you basically can go to 
manscape.com, use the code T 

478
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:54,800
with me. 
You get 20% off and free 

479
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,080
shipping. 
We genuinely use this. 

480
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,760
They sent us all the gear out. 
It's incredible. 

481
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,720
And I've never used like a 
trimmer before. 

482
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,400
I always just use scissors, you 
know, like Edward Scissorhands. 

483
00:26:04,400 --> 00:26:07,160
I always use scissors, give 
myself like the David Beckham 

484
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:10,880
Mohawk, all different looks. 
Listen, this thing takes one 

485
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,640
minute to give you a real smooth
look. 

486
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:15,080
And also you can use it in the 
shower. 

487
00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:16,960
And also there's a wee torch on 
it. 

488
00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:19,560
There's a way, let me repeat 
that. 

489
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,520
There's a weak torch on it if 
you're a Chilean miner who's 

490
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,080
still below ground but still 
wants to look good below the 

491
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:29,520
belt. 
So that's manscape.com and use 

492
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:32,640
the code T with me if you want 
your pubes looking really sweet.

493
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:37,280
So back to the pod and it's time
for listeners questions, time to

494
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:39,080
get back in touch with the 
sippers. 

495
00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:42,240
I haven't had a text from 
downstairs yet to say like, 

496
00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:46,520
listen, need you here. 
So I'm going to enjoy a couple 

497
00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:50,600
of minutes time wherever I'm 
when I'm not like all over the 

498
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,520
place, even though I'm 100% all 
over the place. 

499
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,480
So let's see what the sippers 
are asking here. 

500
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:02,320
Emma says, when's a baby due? 
And what are you most looking 

501
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:07,680
forward to about becoming a dad?
And basically, no, it's not. 

502
00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:11,040
No, I don't think we should 
impose religion really. 

503
00:27:11,040 --> 00:27:15,400
So Jewish is an option to, to, 
to for the baby to be a Jew. 

504
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,600
If it would like to be a Jew, if
one day it says, mom, dad, 

505
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:20,760
really psyched about Judaism 
here. 

506
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:23,560
Judaism. 
Easy for you to say. 

507
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:25,680
Look, I've tried to make a joke 
out of that. 

508
00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:27,320
Essentially, the baby has been 
born. 

509
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:32,520
He has already been born. 
What am I most looking forward 

510
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:37,080
to about becoming a dad? 
I was just looking forward to, I

511
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:41,360
don't know, cuddles, you know, 
just doing some cuddles and that

512
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,000
is the thing that I've enjoyed 
the most. 

513
00:27:43,640 --> 00:27:46,320
Jim McGuire says although a true
all rounder, what would you say 

514
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:48,320
is Big Decky Donnelly's best 
position? 

515
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,640
Hashtag Twin Brook Tarantulas 
legend. 

516
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:51,880
Hashtag big Deck. 
He's up. 

517
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,280
Yes, a Keith Cruz creation. 
Big Decky Donnelly. 

518
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:58,000
Decky Donnelly sounds like a guy
who played right back, but 

519
00:27:58,000 --> 00:27:59,800
everyone tells him to go and 
play sender back because he's 

520
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:02,320
too fat and slow. 
But he's like, Nah, I'll play 

521
00:28:02,320 --> 00:28:04,760
right back because he likes to 
get up and down, but he only 

522
00:28:04,760 --> 00:28:06,200
does that for 4 minutes of a 
game. 

523
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:08,240
And then he gets subbed off 
because he says hamstrings gone,

524
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:09,280
but he's actually just 
knackered. 

525
00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:15,680
The Fantasia, which is an 
absolute phenomenal, phenomenal 

526
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:19,080
name and the, and these guys are
a band, which is sweet to be a 

527
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,200
band. 
What's your plans post lockdown?

528
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:28,400
Hey, vague, very vague question.
Post lockdown, my plans are get 

529
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:32,160
back to stand up, start making 
money again, which would be 

530
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:35,720
fucking ideal really start 
making money. 

531
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,440
Tony's to keep making that cash.
Just getting back to work would 

532
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:41,640
be good. 
Everything everyone being good 

533
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:46,480
in the house and getting a we 
routine going and yeah, just 

534
00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,640
getting like back to the studio 
to do podcasts and I'm missing 

535
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:51,880
stand up so bad. 
I've seen a little bits and 

536
00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:55,680
pieces of people like slowly 
getting back into it and Jesus, 

537
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,920
like you can see this room is 
like a little bit of a mess. 

538
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,320
It's my fault. 
But there's my microphone lead 

539
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:04,240
and stand that I borrowed to 
practise doing stand up. 

540
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:08,480
So that's the level of 
willingness I have to get back 

541
00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,640
at at stand up. 
Gary Fletcher, Papa Shane, 

542
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:15,200
Congrats on the baby boy and a 
man of your wealth has no 

543
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:19,280
worries about this. 
But you're gifted 100 grand. 

544
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:21,280
What are you doing with a bra? 
Thanks very much. 

545
00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:23,280
Gary Taylor. 
And Gary Taylor leaves out 

546
00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:24,680
Fletcher. 
His real name is Gary Taylor 

547
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,080
Fletcher. 
He used to play for Blackpool. 

548
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,320
That's very nice. 
But six people will get it and 

549
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:32,280
I'm three of them. 
If I was gifted 100 grand, I 

550
00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:35,320
don't know what brand would just
be like, hey, listen, we're keen

551
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:38,240
to send you some product. 
And I go, what company is it? 

552
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:42,160
And they go Ulster Bank it. 
What do you send me? 

553
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,440
Just some of our money. 
That'd be really cool. 

554
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:46,840
And I've done video work for 
them before, so technically that

555
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:51,200
has happened, but he's kind of 
cold. 

556
00:29:51,680 --> 00:29:55,880
And what would I do if someone 
just sent me 100 grand? 

557
00:29:56,360 --> 00:30:04,320
And I would probably buy, see, I
don't know, because that's how 

558
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:08,640
much I would spend on like 
luxury travel to local gigs. 

559
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,920
Like if I'm going in publicly or
libraries, you guys know I'll 

560
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,320
get a fleet of Phantoms to take 
me down. 

561
00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,480
So I'll probably just need to 
earn that money back. 100 grand,

562
00:30:17,480 --> 00:30:19,960
I genuinely don't know. 
Like before I had a baby, I 

563
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:24,640
probably would have spent it on 
like bouncy castles, hair 

564
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:28,760
product, what else, You know, 
like a lot of novelty stuff. 

565
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:30,760
And now they've had it. 
I'm a dad. 

566
00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:32,840
I'll probably put it in some 
sort of savings account because 

567
00:30:32,840 --> 00:30:34,720
that's what I'm all about. 
ISIS. 

568
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:37,800
I don't understand money. 
But listen, ISIS, building 

569
00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:44,640
societies, mutual benefits, 
That's what I would do with a 

570
00:30:44,640 --> 00:30:45,800
man. 
I hope that was helpful. 

571
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,920
Dempster, very Northern Irish 
name. 

572
00:30:48,920 --> 00:30:52,840
Just call someone Dempster he 
says thanks, he says 

573
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:54,640
congratulations. 
Money told in the birth of your 

574
00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:55,600
child. 
Hope. 

575
00:30:55,600 --> 00:30:57,680
Hope he is well. 
He is thank you very much. 

576
00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:01,000
My question is when will the 
Young Money total be introduced 

577
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,400
to the tea or sipping it 
already? 

578
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,920
I would imagine it would be 
cruel to give the child boiling 

579
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,600
hot tea but surely sneaking a 
tea bag into the warm milk you'd

580
00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,320
be the best to win them on to. 
Much love for the pod. 

581
00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:15,680
Dempster back at your brother. 
Love you, man. 

582
00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,800
There's a dog barking outside. 
Yeah. 

583
00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,360
I mean, it would be very me to 
do that, to be like, listen, 

584
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:25,760
let's just fucking APG tip. 
Once a day is going to be fine. 

585
00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:28,560
No, not yet. 
But listen, at the nearest 

586
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:30,640
opportunity, it's going to 
happen. 

587
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:34,720
There's going to be a tea party.
No, he's seen his daddy drinking

588
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,680
a lot of tea as well. 
That will be his earliest 

589
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,160
memories of daddy. 
Remember, he used to drink 98 

590
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:41,680
cups of tea and just look at me 
and go like, is everything 

591
00:31:41,680 --> 00:31:45,160
alright? 
Yeah, I would. 

592
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,920
I would love this. 
I would love to sneak in some 

593
00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,520
tea, but probably not. 
I feel like I feel like it might

594
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:53,200
not be the right thing to do, 
but I would like to. 

595
00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:56,440
He will be a tea drinker. 
I don't, you know, he can be 

596
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:00,480
anything he wants. 
As long as he's happy, he can. 

597
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,800
I will support him in his own 
decisions no matter what. 

598
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:08,800
But if he does not drink tea, we
got a problem. 

599
00:32:09,360 --> 00:32:12,240
We got a major problem. 
Although, as I mentioned, he's a

600
00:32:12,240 --> 00:32:13,720
big baby. 
He's already bigger than me. 

601
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:15,960
So at that point he probably 
would just be able to straight 

602
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:17,760
up knock me out. 
So he can't literally do 

603
00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:19,640
whatever he wants. 
I'm sorry, son, if you're 

604
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:23,480
watching this, I'm sorry. 
Matt Law says now that you're a 

605
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:25,640
pop of money toad. 
If Dave Elliott is bestowed his 

606
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,560
godfather, will he be forced to 
get a tattoo in his leg? 

607
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,200
Hope your partner and the baby, 
you're doing well. 

608
00:32:30,200 --> 00:32:31,160
They are, Matt. 
Thanks. 

609
00:32:33,440 --> 00:32:35,720
Yeah. 
Yeah, 'cause I got the tattoo 

610
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,240
for Dave's daughter, Holly being
born of the Todd father. 

611
00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,520
He wouldn't do it. 
He wouldn't do it. 

612
00:32:41,520 --> 00:32:42,640
And that's not me saying it to 
him. 

613
00:32:42,640 --> 00:32:44,000
Like I'm trying to psych him out
and he'll go. 

614
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:48,320
I will do it. 
I would prefer instead if he 

615
00:32:48,320 --> 00:32:51,440
just, like, shaved his eyebrows 
off as a market respect. 

616
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:53,600
You know, I think that would be 
nice. 

617
00:32:54,400 --> 00:32:57,760
But I don't even know, dude, are
we doing godfathers? 

618
00:32:57,760 --> 00:32:59,240
I don't know why I'm asking the 
zippers. 

619
00:32:59,240 --> 00:33:01,520
I mean to be I shouldn't ask the
zippers that kind of thing. 

620
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:02,960
Like reply to me and let me 
know. 

621
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,280
Do we do God parents? 
I don't know what the crack is. 

622
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:06,960
I I literally I don't know what 
the crack is. 

623
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:08,920
Just worried about this guy's 
next feed. 

624
00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:11,000
That's it. 
We just we just burp them and 

625
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:12,120
then we'll move on to the next 
thing. 

626
00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,360
Patrick Quinn, big friend of the
pod, big zipper says 

627
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,480
congratulations and birth your 
little zipper. 

628
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,160
The money spawn. 
Big fan, disrespectful. 

629
00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,640
Big fan of that. 
Are you able to solve the 

630
00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:25,760
emotions you had when you held 
him for the first time? 

631
00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:27,920
Do you look younger than your 
baby? 

632
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,520
Really delighted to see the 
post. 

633
00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:32,200
A very lucky and blessed 
childhood father with a bank 

634
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:34,760
balance and McGoldrick and the 
skills of cruisy Patrick. 

635
00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:36,520
Unfortunately it's the other way
about. 

636
00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,200
It's the other way abide. 
But man I appreciate the 

637
00:33:41,200 --> 00:33:45,000
question. 
I appreciate you holding for the

638
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:50,120
first time Was great until he 
left the present all over my lab

639
00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:54,240
minutes after being born. 
So it was good up until then. 

640
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,800
And then I was offended. 
And then at that point I just 

641
00:33:56,800 --> 00:34:00,880
went home. 
But it was it was great. 

642
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,640
I look younger than the baby. 
Yes, because he is massive. 

643
00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:09,880
And whenever I went in, whenever
another midwife came on shift, 

644
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,920
she like scooped me up and tried
to put me on his lap and said, 

645
00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:18,480
do you want skin the skin? 
And he was like, he was like, 

646
00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:23,960
no, he goes, no, I'm, you know, 
I'm the wee baby. 

647
00:34:23,960 --> 00:34:25,719
And she went, all right. 
And she had the switches. 

648
00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,480
That's not funny. 
Siobhan McAdam says, how's it 

649
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:33,239
going, Jamal? 
It's fucking great. 

650
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:35,920
I'm sweating because I'm warm. 
And I don't know how long I've 

651
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,280
been up here for. 
So I'm going to kind of wrap 

652
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,560
this up and hope everyone's OK 
with a slightly shorter pod this

653
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:40,520
week. 
And if they're not, I don't 

654
00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,920
really care. 
Matthew Merlin says Congrats on 

655
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,199
the arrival. 
What 90's pop songs will you be 

656
00:34:45,199 --> 00:34:47,600
repurposing as lullabies for the
next few years? 

657
00:34:48,159 --> 00:34:49,920
And that's a great show. 
Yeah. 

658
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,719
I think I am going to have to 
like change it up. 

659
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:56,480
I think he knows his dad is one 
of the best DJ's in Europe 

660
00:34:56,760 --> 00:34:58,400
because the rate of lockdown, 
stuff like that. 

661
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:02,480
But I don't know, I think the 
Vengabus is coming is fun 

662
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:04,440
because like the wheels on the 
bus go round and round but way 

663
00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,320
better. 
So maybe something like that. 

664
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:10,680
Look, Atkinson says, would you 
take this deal? 

665
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,200
You had £1,000,000 right now but
for the rest of your life this 

666
00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:16,240
slug is slowly following you 
wherever you go. 

667
00:35:16,240 --> 00:35:20,760
If it touches you, you die. 
No, no, wouldn't, I wouldn't 

668
00:35:20,760 --> 00:35:24,320
like to do that because I don't 
like slugs and I've already got 

669
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,880
enough money. 
Colin Hines says apart from T, 

670
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,920
do you have any other favourite 
non alcoholic drinks and parcel?

671
00:35:29,920 --> 00:35:33,040
Do a wee glass of OJ. 
Congrats on becoming a dad a bit

672
00:35:33,040 --> 00:35:35,520
OJ Simpson like it. 
Thank you on the dad thing. 

673
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:39,520
And yeah, I like water. 
I like a little bit of coffee 

674
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:43,920
and I like, is it what you call 
innocent drinks? 

675
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:47,520
Is that what it is? 
Apple and mango, I think a 

676
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,680
passion fruit or something. 
I like one of them and he used 

677
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:53,240
to drink Doctor Pepper a lot 
whenever was a teenager and then

678
00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:54,960
I stopped because I thought I 
was going to die if I drown more

679
00:35:54,960 --> 00:35:57,240
of it. 
Dawson Cleland could you 

680
00:35:57,240 --> 00:35:58,880
apologise to my mate Johnny 
Demister? 

681
00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,640
Your pure sly to him on last 
week's listeners questions. 

682
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,080
Well I've been nice to him this 
week and now that I've seen that

683
00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:06,240
I didn't realise it was sliding 
him last week so I feel like 

684
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:08,880
I've been dead on this week so I
don't need to apologise and I'm 

685
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:12,000
a father and I will not. 
I will be apologising to whoever

686
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,800
I want and I'll be speaking to 
you like a father. 

687
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:16,800
I'll be coming around your door 
to speak to your mother and 

688
00:36:16,800 --> 00:36:18,320
father. 
So how about that? 

689
00:36:18,960 --> 00:36:20,320
Sorry, guys, got carried away 
there. 

690
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,640
Dawson, thanks for the question.
I love your Creek. 

691
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:25,960
That sounds weird, but I'm 
talking about Dawson's Creek. 

692
00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:29,800
Guys. 
We had a couple of emails from 

693
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:33,800
Patreons that I want to read out
and Scott says, will it be 

694
00:36:33,800 --> 00:36:36,600
possible that we shout out for 
Davy Mcclure's Turning 21 on 

695
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,160
Wednesday and next week's 
podcast? 

696
00:36:38,600 --> 00:36:39,960
Then he go. 
Then he gets in one of his own 

697
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:42,400
questions. 
He goes, did you ever go go to 

698
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,640
or play at the Milk Cup? 
I went to the Milk Cup. 

699
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,640
I certainly did not play at it 
because I was, I still am 

700
00:36:47,640 --> 00:36:50,640
absolutely brutal football in 
reality, but I've been to it to 

701
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:53,480
watch and it's pretty cool. 
Would it possible to have a wee 

702
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,520
shout out for Davy McClure 
turning 21? 

703
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:57,280
Yeah, absolutely. 
But Davy McClure does not sound 

704
00:36:57,280 --> 00:37:00,080
like a 21 year old guy. 
Sounds like a 57 year old guy 

705
00:37:00,080 --> 00:37:02,200
being called Davy McClure. 
Davy McClure sounds like a guy 

706
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:06,480
who already gets has his own 
taxi like Davy McClure #1 taxi 

707
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:08,360
driver name. 
But shout out to your brother. 

708
00:37:08,360 --> 00:37:10,960
Hope you have a really good time
and and enjoy yourself. 

709
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,920
Nathan Hernberg says really 
enjoy the podcast. 

710
00:37:13,920 --> 00:37:16,800
We listen to them with 
headphones at sea on our fishing

711
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:18,680
boat based out of Cloquet. 
Really good fun. 

712
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:20,720
Sweet man, give me some fish. 
I love fish. 

713
00:37:20,720 --> 00:37:23,320
I'm a big seafood guy. 
Hook me up with some fish man. 

714
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,040
But don't like don't have all 
the guts. 

715
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:29,400
Clean it, get catch it, catch 
it, got it out and give me it, 

716
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,720
will you? 
I actually do like fish and I 

717
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,040
like that you listen to it out 
at sea. 

718
00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,200
Do you have any advice for 
someone who's considering 

719
00:37:36,200 --> 00:37:38,320
starting their own podcast but 
doesn't have any equipment, 

720
00:37:38,320 --> 00:37:40,480
merely an iPhone and the 
required app can be done? 

721
00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:42,160
Thank you Nathan. 
Fucking right. 

722
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:45,360
It can be done for sure and it 
would be. 

723
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:48,600
I mean you can like go on 
Amazon, get yourself Ausb mic 

724
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,760
and if you e-mail me or I won't,
I won't, I won't. 

725
00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:55,960
I don't have the strength to 
e-mail you back but hopefully 

726
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:59,800
you hear and see this. 
Go on Amazon, get a decent USB 

727
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:01,480
mic. 
Do a bit of research, you'll be 

728
00:38:01,480 --> 00:38:05,040
able to get one for like £20. 
Get the USB mic, plug it into 

729
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,640
the laptop and you're good to 
go. 1000% you can do it. 

730
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:11,680
YouTube tutorials, how to start 
a podcast, basic equipment, 

731
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,440
something like that. 
Of course you can do it and let 

732
00:38:14,440 --> 00:38:16,560
me know how you get on and I'll 
give it a plug on this. 

733
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,200
How about that? 
Good luck. 

734
00:38:18,240 --> 00:38:24,240
Keep catching those fish. 
Join para, says Shane, want to 

735
00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:25,560
say a huge thank you for the 
podcast. 

736
00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:27,680
They're excellent, very funny. 
Appreciate it. 

737
00:38:28,200 --> 00:38:29,520
They're definitely breaking up 
lockdown. 

738
00:38:29,640 --> 00:38:32,480
Huge fan of the TripAdvisor 
feature and now my ambition is 

739
00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,080
to find Troy the bus driver. 
Shout out to Troy the bus driver

740
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:39,720
on the rave bus 3 questions. 
I mean it's a lot to ask for but

741
00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:42,880
OK with the money to ever appear
on a comedy show like Live at 

742
00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:44,840
the Apollo. 
Some local comedians seem to 

743
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,120
turn their noses up towards the 
likes of Peter Kay and Michael 

744
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,120
McIntyre and push the likes of 
Bill Burr. 

745
00:38:49,120 --> 00:38:50,840
Why is this? 
Is there snobbering comedy? 

746
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:53,520
Would I appear at Live at the 
Apollo? 

747
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,080
Yes, can't say like a regularly 
watch it. 

748
00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,560
I definitely used to, but I've 
just sort of fallen out of the 

749
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:02,000
way with it. 
And I think UK comedy and 

750
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,320
American comedy are two very 
different styles. 

751
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,760
I prefer American comedy like 
Bill Burr and other comedians, 

752
00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:11,320
but I can love Peter Kay and I 
think Michael McIntyre is funny,

753
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:14,040
but I wouldn't be going to see 
him if you know what I mean. 

754
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,880
Regular like well, I've never 
been the same, but I can 

755
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,360
appreciate he's funny. 
Yes, there is snobbery and 

756
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:21,240
comedy. 
I'm guilty of it. 

757
00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:25,120
We're all guilty of it in some 
way, but funny, it's funny. 

758
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:29,000
So anyone like Michael McIntyre,
Mrs Brown's Boys, whatever else,

759
00:39:29,800 --> 00:39:32,320
if if people are loving it, then
it's it's really funny. 

760
00:39:32,320 --> 00:39:34,960
It just might not be to my taste
or another comedian's taste. 

761
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,120
And look, comedians turn their 
nose up to like Speaker Ken 

762
00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,480
Michael McIntyre. 
They do. 

763
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,880
But they would literally do 
anything to like support them on

764
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:45,360
a big tour date. 
You know, I would love to go 

765
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,600
support Peter K or Michael 
McIntyre on a big tour date. 

766
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,280
We all would. 
But people act like they 

767
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:50,680
wouldn't. 
But then if they were offered 

768
00:39:50,680 --> 00:39:53,160
it, they would jump on it. 
And that's kind of cringe, but 

769
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:57,760
we all do snobbery in some way. 
What is a sexier podcast? 

770
00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:59,640
Boy Town or Tea with me? 
Is it sly? 

771
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,960
Papa Bear won't come on. 
Tea with me He will. 

772
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,880
He has been asked, but he's 
playing hard to get the big 

773
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,400
cheeky scamp and he's been 
giving me some good parenting 

774
00:40:06,400 --> 00:40:07,840
advice, so I can't really be too
sly to him. 

775
00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:12,120
And Boy Town is sexier, but Tea 
with me is cuter. 

776
00:40:13,000 --> 00:40:16,920
That's what I would say. 
But listen to both #3 why can't 

777
00:40:16,920 --> 00:40:19,400
Aaron Butler say the words 
vulnerable or now correctly? 

778
00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:24,200
Because. 
You get so paranoid about it. 

779
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:28,880
Listen, we are going to do a 
thing like The King's Speech and

780
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:31,720
I'm going to correct all the 
words you can't say and he's 

781
00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:35,160
going to go from now to now and 
it's going to be a lovely 

782
00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,040
moment. 
No, I love that guy. 

783
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:39,720
And get off his back, please, 
because he has nice jackets. 

784
00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:42,240
Folks. 
I'm going to wrap up the podcast

785
00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:43,840
right here. 
I'm going to plug once more 

786
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:48,240
patreon.com/tea with me podcast.
It's worth, I think it's a real 

787
00:40:48,240 --> 00:40:49,680
good deal. 
Check it out, have a look, see 

788
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:52,280
what you think. 
Also, if you want to rate and 

789
00:40:52,280 --> 00:40:55,600
review the podcast on the likes 
of Apple Podcasts and that'll be

790
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:57,360
great. 
We'd really appreciate that. 

791
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,680
Tell your friends, get it up on 
Instagram, whatever. 

792
00:41:00,680 --> 00:41:03,040
I'll share that out. 
That goes a long way. 

793
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:06,880
So thank you very much. 
Once again gonna love yous and 

794
00:41:06,880 --> 00:41:09,160
leave yous. 
Going back to the baby for some 

795
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:12,400
cuddles. 
I feel like it's been a nice 

796
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,640
episode. 
I hope you enjoyed it and the 

797
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:18,040
episodes will be back to more 
normality pretty soon. 

798
00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:20,920
Sip sip. 
Thanks a lot for all the love.

