Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this episode of the TV's ME
Podcast with my guest Jerry Love and Dave Elliott.
Yeah, D has been really messy already, jumping in.
You have been, dear. Messy.
Dear is the best messy. He's a messy yeah.
He's a very like Real Housewives of Bangor coded.
Do you know what I mean? You know what?
Sometimes it's. Very.
You're Chuck for that there's certain.
Things you. Don't understand it, but you're.
Yeah, I love it. But what I also like is I think
when certain, like for example, you put certain ingredients in a
pot, you get delicious food. Yes.
You get a couple of ingredients around the table, you get a good
time. And what are we in the in the
pot? Oh.
I think when US three are together, we have a good time,
yeah. That's always a.
Good time. Kind of.
Thing. But are we like more see like
what? Who's the you?
Know where dessert? We make a wee sexy tiramisu.
Are we? Tart, yes, you eat tart, you eat
bit of bisque off. You're a bit of coffee and I'm a
bit of cream. Oh right, yeah.
And then together. Delicious.
Yeah, that's. What I'm saying?
And by the way, I got a wee free term so for my dinner when I was
out for dinner last weekend. Oh, where?
Were you at? I was in Nova and Belfast.
Great spot, absolutely delicious. 1st, I don't like
that you did that and didn't do the kiss.
Yeah. Because it was, I realised it's
Italian and then halfway through I'm like, I don't know if it
fully is Italian. I think it is.
So I didn't want to commit to the kiss, right.
So when half Italian I thought it might be French.
So we going half. Italianness in French?
Oh, he's half Italian. No, but I thought it might be
French, you see. So I was like, oh, is it
Italian? Is it French?
Won't was good, but what I will say very tasty.
How did you get a free tournament?
Suit and then the chef just looked was a fan of the podcast
looks. Really.
But what I what I loved about. It it's dangerous, though, to
get free tournaments. But it was it was only it was
only got the free tournament suit.
Everyone else had to pay for the dessert.
Be funnier guys. Yeah, it's great.
I'm going to say something before we start.
Yeah, the last time I was with Jerry, we were having we were
having brunch. We were in Manchester.
And that's the first time I ever felt like I was having brunch.
I always felt like I was either having a late breakfast or an
early lunch. And I don't like the concept of
brunch. I don't like the word.
Yeah, Can I say that? Whenever you were doing that or
an early lunch. Pardon.
If you've had a late breakfast or an early lunch.
That is a brunch. No, but that's what it's called
the. The.
Social part of brunch. I don't like to say the word.
I don't like brunch. I would never say, do you want
to go for brunch? Where was that?
We placed that again. Bells, Bells.
But that was the first time. Me, you and Willie.
There I went. This is a.
Brunch and then we're on a bit of shopping after.
That's a nice time, yeah. I'm a bit jealous I missed that
to be. Honest, it was good.
Dave, can I say something? Yeah, can I say something?
Yeah, it wasn't for me. I you were going like that
night, yes, OK, for your partner's birthday, yes.
And then I said I was like, Jerry, I just go say this.
I was like, I have no idea what your partner like.
Looks like in my head, like, and I need to.
I was like, can you show me a picture of him?
Yeah. Can I tell you some?
He's landed on his feet. You want to see the top?
You want to see this fell? I'm at this point, I thought
when you're going to say there? Hello.
Wait there.
Wait till you see this. There, how long need to turn my
phone off? Keep talking, Nobel.
Turn the phone on, you know that.
Is it like the GIF of the guy we always say to each other?
It's like, because I guess when you see something.
Yeah. Oh, and that's no disrespect to
you, No. Just like, oh, I say that part
of the. Like, you know, chair to them
between us. I make yes a minute though, but
yeah. But then that is also a thing or
two that I think people like when they're like, oh, you're
punching. And this is Yeah.
Like I think it's that's a compliment.
You think it's better to punch or is it?
Yeah, because I think it's fair enough.
You take an insult yourself, that's fine.
But if someone's like, oh, they're punching, you're like,
basically what you're saying is my partner's thinking.
Yeah, so. Yeah, so I I think it's good to
be punched. What do you say?
Like. I never fell, we showed me.
This I like. Do you know what you're shocked?
She? And what do I say?
So hold on. Let me see, Dave.
This is always great to see when there's pressure to show.
Somebody have to find a good phone.
It's not a good one. Oh, I I, Yeah.
Yeah, you know. Whatever they go and I can say
if you're texting somebody, you're like, oh, here, wait to
see who I'm going on a date with and you're like hold on a
minute. And you go like the whole way
down Instagram from like 2012 and it's like, that's what they
look like. And it's like.
Because if you have them now and they're just on under a wee
duvet watching, watching Sopranos or sunglasses or
sunglasses, Norwegian glasses, like what are you doing?
Stop it. Hello, we're nearly.
There, I want to say you're doing a lot of scrolling there,
Jerry, no. I went to.
I went too far back and went too far back, right?
But it would say. Imagine I find out this is a lie
and he's just he forgets what image he showed me.
No, it's not a lie. Oh, like do you like an AI?
Kind of. Yeah, because this guy looks
like he's AI. He looks like he's AI.
We'll go no, because you need. I'm going to show the.
Same. It looks like you've written
sexy guy in AI and this is what you get.
Right, what do I say? God, this is taking longer than
I thought. Do you ever feel like you're
very like mama's on Facebook when you're going on a phone?
Like I may be using the sleeve on the winger.
All I need is to be flip case. So previous episode of the TV's
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Well, I found that I'm a mum with a phone because I always
use Google Maps, right? It's a Google Maps.
Google. Use.
Maps. Maps.
Well I personally use maps because I don't like Google Maps
because you cannot. The drone footage I find it hard
to see. Am I right?
Or can you change the sentence? Do you get what I mean?
I. Find maps easier to read.
I get, yeah, I think I just use maps, but then I was told I
should use Google Maps or sometimes use.
Oh yeah, Dave. Oh yeah.
Gun show. I like that gun show.
Hey, does he have a licence for those guns?
Cute. Yeah, but it would melt too,
like. I think I might there's.
I tell you what. There is you.
Know what I mean by? That I'm thinking that.
What do? You think you clip me again
after the festing 1? Has he clipped you before?
He does me dirty wall clips. Is he?
Anytime I actually come on this podcast, it never does me any
good. You.
Do I get straight online? You do.
Come in. You do come in here like a spy
worried about getting caught. You're always like, as soon as
you walk in this room, you go what cameras are on.
But you know what? Don't hear that, We Spy Insider.
Yeah, it doesn't clip them, Those guys, Yeah.
No, they do me, Jerry. They're the ones again.
Judas Saskari a bastards always. Oh, you're like your worst
sweet. But as soon as I came out of my
mind I was like, oh, that's going to be clapped.
Yeah, it's like the car. I'm like, oh, don't look near.
That what was your crack with a but.
You know, it's always very 5050. So you'll get like the
homophobic, like maybe like Ian the man in the van, like, oh,
what the fuck? And then you'll get like maybe
people from the LGBT community nearly being like, oh, why are
you? It's weird, the duel.
You can't. When you're damned if you do,
you're damned if you don't. Yeah, the kind of deal man for
you a wee bit. I some getting it all ends but
well I'm used to that. But you don't help yourself not.
I know. But I could see us.
I could see us brunching. I could see us 3 brunching.
Yeah. What are your brunch in Belfast?
Because now this, I feel like this is a scene you'll be,
you'll be in tune to it. And I feel like embarrassed
sometimes because I've been to Belfast recently and I don't
know anywhere where I wouldn't go anymore.
I was in Lisburn Rd. My mind was, I haven't seen half
these places, it's been so long. Do you know what we would do?
We would go to like a plate. We go, should we just go here?
And then we tell people like Jerry, who are big in the
brunching, and they go, you went there and we'd be so
embarrassed. Like you see.
The thing that you've got? Brunch.
But you know, I like, I think you can't beat Wetherspoons.
I just love seeing somebody on Instagram and they put up like
an Instagram story, like Table 44.
Do your worst. And it's like nobody.
'S buying you a fucking drink there.
But they do get some of them get loads.
Of drink. I remember a friend got like a
bowl of peace. Happy enough?
Happy enough to I'd say yeah, but I think.
Scampi would be the win. Wouldn't go to Wetherspoons, get
a big play the scampi of. Stuff.
Oh, you want a bowl, Scampi? Sure.
A bowl. Bowl a Bowl a Bowl Scampi Bowl
I. Love scampi scampi.
Brilliant. Would you rather bacon fries or
scampi fries? Scampi fries?
Bacon fries. Wouldn't be annoyed to bacon
fries, but scampi fries. Yeah, I would.
You know what I would. I would eat both, but if I had
to choose, I would choose the bacon fries.
What? About putting them together.
I hate when people do that at parties.
You know, we've been surfing turf.
You like Doritos, they're all mixed in and then, you know, if
you are wee bit picky and you're like, oh, like, am I going for
like chilly heat wave here, colour Reds and all, and it's
like, oh fuck, it's tangy cheese.
But Jerry, what are your brunch in Belfast?
But no, I can't let you go past that first.
Because you know what really winds me up?
See when people think it's mad to put Maltesers in their
popcorn. And I've said I.
Don't get that either. And it's.
Awful. And then when the dip their
chips into the. Ice cream, ice cream, there's so
much. That I do.
Get no one no one really likes. That one do it, but I could do
you know it's it is actually nice.
No, but no one really likes all that stuff like.
No brunch spots. I'm trying to think I love
houses in it's my favourite but that's not brunch.
Brunch revolution to Cuba. Sorry, brunch.
Does it do brunch revolution to Cuba?
Oh my God, are you for real? I like somewhere we could be.
Sorry, I didn't. Get angry.
Sorry. I don't know why I got so like I
don't have a share or like I don't know why I was so.
Because, right, I'll tell you why.
Our military about. Jerry's going to smack you over.
I can't imagine getting the next latte in there.
I'm actually going to get a cocktail.
Oh, that's. Is that not what we're meaning
by bronze? Not at our age, all.
Right. So are we meaning like?
No. Jerry, are we meaning like
French toast? A coffee?
All right? Oh, I've.
Never confused in our neighbourhood Neighbourhood.
It's fancy, but we're in our confused.
Right neighbourhood. OK, established.
Yeah, but not a car. I can't do a cocktail brunch.
Like all right, OK all. Right 11 Are you mad?
You're talking a bougie brunch. That's what I thought we
remember not the same page here. A bougie or a bougie, did you
say? A bougie.
But I think.
If we went for a booze bougie, bruisy, a bougie bougie brunch.
A bruise. Yeah, fast.
Three times. He just had a Katie Price blue
Jay. Give it a bruise, bruise.
Yeah, neighbourhood good, but I'd I'd like that, like I'd
like. Us to do and is there any spots
outside of Belfast that you're like I would travel to these
places? You're a hidden James guy.
You're a hidden gems, Yeah.
No and I'm not. You're a hidden gems.
No. No, you.
You you have a wee book, a hidden gems like well, do you
know? Funny enough I made like a tech
talk and I Have you tried flight pizza slice across from San an?
I haven't. I've been to the new one.
Didn't have me. I was so this was the new one
that opened. So I thought this was the first
time it ever happened. So I said, oh, there's a brand
new place in Belfast. It's the first time you can get
pizza slices in the comments. What the fuck?
Little wings have been doing this for years.
All right, calm. Down.
See, that's what they eat. I.
Can't win like. People, everyone just comes for
Jerry. The pizza heads are in like.
You doing your dams, you don't care.
That's the problem, no? Why do people?
Angry about? It but I think it's a laugh.
Do you don't think this is all panto like?
Do you know what I mean? Are you just trying to get
lunch? Pizza.
There, but I've been a tech talk like a deck, do you know?
Jerry's like you won't believe this fast food.
If you like fast food, this McDonald's place.
I don't know if people know about it, but honestly check it
out. This guy's announced a live
podcast and Jerry, yeah, I said come on on and plug it.
Yeah. You don't need to.
Be here.
I always love coming on here like, you know, the lads are
good crack boys. They were going for lunch and
jocks. Or is that that agreement gone?
Not today, not today. I can't.
I tell you what. Oh, I come.
Away. Everyone can.
No one else is joking. Where are you going?
I've got to go to my son's assembly but.
You don't have to. You can just go.
Sorry, not. Today.
Man, no, that's true. Yeah, but I've got to, I've got
to take him to the assembly and then take him home.
But what I'm saying is this show.
Yeah. Hot kicks.
You know, if you're from the country, I've got a non humbles
you more than an Irish mom and she's very much like feet in the
ground. I said news earlier.
It's like if you see the finish line in the Martha and like you
don't go like right, I'm going to go for a power walk here and
just cross it like you have to keep going Hell for leather.
So at the minute it's doing good, but I don't know, I
haven't a clue. It's doing great.
Yeah, Well, I don't know. I just, I've impostor syndrome.
Do you have does comedians have that?
People say they do. It's like, it's like ice cream
and chips. Right, OK.
But I do think. Like, I think your promo is some
of the greatest, but how did you get into the clouds on the car?
How did you manage that? Fuck off, Dave.
That was I was the video from WAS 10.
That that we video was AI but the rest was all shot like I'm
not a fan of him. Say, who the hell did that?
Because it's. Unbelievable.
No, like I work with a really good team.
Like, you know, so that's yeah. I love creative stuff, though,
So for me, I think that's what sells.
That is kind of like the the caricature of it all.
Yeah. So like, we don't like a big
press conference, you know, nearly like Champions League
vibes, but a bit more zesty. He loves Champions League at the
minute, yeah. No, I know what we should do for
it. Well, this is the thing, yeah.
So I need a butter somehow, right?
Go on. Keep bringing butter into.
It right. I don't know why butter is the
keyword of the day, but. I've got an idea.
Right. What did we disagree about on
your podcast? Holidays.
Well, no karaoke. Karaoke.
Sorry, we've actually disagreed in quite a bit.
Soon you think. We're going to have to do some
sort. Of karaoke battle or singing
battle. Singing.
Right lip sync or? No, we're going to sing.
Really. Yeah.
Because I said I wouldn't. I wouldn't want you doing
karaoke with me. No.
But maybe we do like a karaoke challenge, yeah.
Well, I always thought, you know, like this is the way all
these people now do these like UFC fights.
Yeah, I thought you're like poster, like head to head, like,
yes, who's going to win? And you?
Want us to have a UFC? Fight No, no, no, no, no, no.
I couldn't push my way to put paper bag but like it's I think.
Battle beat the shit. Out of me.
If you knock me out of the wide, that's so bad.
But it will be an extravaganza. So I'm putting extravaganza kind
of like variety show with the podcast interview element with
loads of games, very interactive.
The last one we've done. Oh my God, it was hilarious with
psychic Glen. He was like the mystery man for
like blind Date. We had Gillian Simmons and loads
like visuals and fun. We had a drag queen.
You know, the only thing we didn't have last year was a ping
pong show. So hopefully if the water front
approves, yeah. Will you?
Step up here, please. You've had sticky Vicky.
What about dirty Davey? Sticky Decky.
Would you ever do? Going into things like that.
I mean like like do lots of. Stickles, you know.
The Ham party girl that. Dresses up with the balaclava
and beats the fuck out of the people.
Mrs We've talked about it before, Mrs Balaclava.
Yes, yes. Do you have?
You come up with that name. I could see you, I could see
that stuff in the side. I could see you showing up like
the paramilitary godfather type. Get the Brigadier, Yeah.
And then have you ever done like Santa's grottos or anything
like? I haven't done Santa, but I've
been. No.
Yeah, but have you ever been like, say, like Castle Court?
You ever like the person and dressed as Santa?
No, Jerry, because I'm 39. We would.
Make a killing your Santa where the wee elves?
Yes, well, that's an idea. There you go, that's what.
Time of years to. Show we do look like wee elves.
Don't tell the. Green.
Popper, too. Like we're actually coloured
like we are coloured, like we are something else.
Offseason. Like it's just in the.
Season like this is loungewear. You go to you go to Victoria
Square, you got the big Santa grotto and then you go, you
know, Smithfield at the back Castle court.
This is the Smithfield Grotto. You look like you look like
you've called it Santa as we else house and this is just how
we hang about David. Yeah, yeah.
What time of year is the show so the. 9th of October, Waterfront
Hall. Sorry, that was very plugy
there. Too early to do, we sent the
thing. There are we Halloween number?
Well, yeah. Spectacular.
Do like a ball for Apple. Yeah, I used to Uncle Fester
movie The Addams Family you could do Wednesday.
I'd rather be Morticia. Morticia, you could be we
Wednesday or post like. I used to fancy the Girl at
Ellen somebody when I would see it in the cinema.
Morticia Not the mother, the the girl.
Yeah, I fancied. Over that when that movie came
out. Yeah, cartoon crushes were a
thing, though I think every. Isn't that a normal?
Is that normal or? I don't want to say that out.
Loud no, I think like you're and I just.
Have a question of hard time in your?
Yeah. A lot of people fancy Jessica
Rabbit, Jessica. Yeah, big time.
Yeah. And then weirdly I.
Can't know Bonnie. Some of the boys fancy the big.
Bunny Jam. No, but that Bunny, the Bunny or
fancy. Jam is actually hot and some of.
The bunnies like yeah do I bum for pets for us?
Really said that was feeling there though.
But only one branch, it's. Weird, I think to me like that
caramel Bunny was very sexualized.
But she and she knew it. Like, yeah, you know what I
mean? Like we, she was running brand
knickers. She's eat this caramel and then
have a chocolate bar you 30 bucks.
Yeah, that was the slogan you. See.
Very Mrs Balaclava. Yeah, yeah.
And I thought you did that to his knee.
And I'm just going to tell you, don't you?
Dare it, Jerry. I thought you smacked the life
of this neither. Who are all other sexy cartoons
like? Well, like for the LGBT, like
Johnny Bravo, right? You know there's.
Not much to him. What about Dick Dastardly, bad
boy? Was that the Wacky Races?
Yep. Dick Dastardly.
Penelope pet stop. Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, I'm trying to think. Betty Boop.
Cartman. Yeah.
Oh, Betty Boop was a bit. But then Betty Boop freaked me
out because there was a real Betty Boop too, wasn't there?
And I and I'm like, I don't know who's the real Betty Boop.
What about Popeye? Olive Pluto's a bit stinking,
won't you? You're plotting.
Wasn't it I'm. Pluto fighting over and all,
saying that she's rotten. Yeah, all punching, like 100%.
I'm punching those olive. Yeah.
I did think that if I bought spinach I would get muscles like
that. Yeah, I just end up like Pluto.
Just always a Bluto. Yeah, Bluto.
I thought it was Pluto. Pluto's the dog.
That's Goofy's dog. Which is weird that a dog owns a
dog. It's funny you're.
Actually over there, isn't it? It's funny, they were actually
in the conversation of this. You know, one of my party tracks
is, you know, is a Daffy Dog. Yes, I can do an impression of
Daffy Duck washing his face. All right.
Oh, what do you want to? Hear.
Oh, OK, yes. What?
Do you think we're going to say no?
I don't know. I don't know.
Where are you at anyway, 321? That's really good.
Thanks. Because I thought, you know,
when some people say they're going to do an impression, it
sounds similar. That's kind of shame.
That was exactly that. Was you?
Know what else was enjoyable to see behind?
A lot of fun. See behind Jerry's curtain?
That's a that's an idea for like what's behind Jerry's.
Curtain. Yeah.
I don't know what it is, but. Yeah, my brain always goes.
Don't know what's going on behind there, but it is, you
know, super. This episode of the TV podcast
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Is it sexual because the
cartoons never wear pants? Sorry.
Like Winnie Pooh always says like his bomber.
Don't like, but I think duck is bomber.
No, I never wear trousers. And you thought that was?
That sexual thing, is it because no sexy cartoons?
No. For me, no.
It's a bit weird, isn't it? Yeah.
They're not really like personified though.
A lot of these. Do you get what I mean?
Yeah, no, I get you. But like I'd rather than wear
trousers, no tops, then have T-shirts.
You want to say that we. Yeah, so.
You're more of a big man. Then Oh yeah.
Well, yeah, absolutely. But.
Does anyone look, does anyone look more like a boot man than
this guy? Right.
Here, of course, he's a. Boot man, You couldn't deny
being a boot man. No.
True. You just have that face about
your leg. Yeah, big boot man.
Like a boot man. If you look at him, what kind of
man's he do you think? If you look at the ears.
I'd say feet. Oh, I'm gravy, about a week.
Not a feat, Galo, Not a feat. Guy he loves.
It sucking the big toes and all my own.
But you could see him with, you know, like a wee nail set just
getting I scraped in the other. Oh, no.
And then like, oh, there's an ingrown Tony.
Oh, he loves. Exciting, yeah.
Bunion boy over there. That athlete?
'S food. Sure, I don't want to catch on
Onion Boy Onion Boys 1 I don't want to catch on.
Nah, fade fade are you get. The March Bunion boy, corn star,
you know. But I'm going to RIP up for a
sock off. Veruca's aren't really around
anymore. Socks are gone.
Veruca's these days. Why are you trying to find out?
Me just outside the outside. The chiropodist.
Your machine to get rid of corns.
Yeah, don't worry, I'll do. Dry eye shortage you.
Just bought it all, what does it do?
It's Oliver because the Corns doesn't.
My dad could ever go to my foot when I was younger with a razor
blade. Wow, that's pretty good.
That's pretty. For a good socks weren't a sweet
look. Like.
The ladies didn't like it at the pool like.
No. And you had to put them on with
talcum powder and all? Yeah.
No. It wasn't sexy.
The condoms of the feet, they call them.
Do you swim, Jerry? I'm not really good at it.
No, more like backstrokes. That's about that's your stroke
and a paddle, yes. I know you were in Bali.
There I. How was that?
That's. When I'm with manta rays.
What are they? Remember Steve Irwin?
That was a Stingray though I think.
I hope you want to fucking start.
No, I was really, I was really scared.
I thought something's going to happen here and then.
Could you? Were you able to touch him?
No, but one swam right underneath me and they've like
big tails and Oh my God. And what, what are you wearing
swimming like, what's your swimming gear?
Oh. Definitely Speedos.
Oh my God, yeah. Board shorts.
I'm. Going to get roasted.
I'm going to say not a lot. Scuba soon speedos I fuck.
Speedos, I do budgie smugglers. Not budgie smugglers.
I think they're about cheesy. I just think like a like an
athletic like Tom Daley. Like a brief.
Like I look like I'm an Olympian, I don't want to look
like a twat. Do you know I don't need budgie
smugglers? What event?
At the Olympics, do you think it looks like you do?
Just like a more neutral, like a neutral colour.
Like I've got a Baywatch Red 1 though.
Oh yeah, they're my favourite. But do they not alert sharks?
No, they smell blood, not just the colour.
You're thinking of a bowl, Yeah. All right, right.
Bull Shark. Now Davey, when you go on
holiday you shorts gay, will you go for a more of a tight brief?
No, I am. I just go for like a short swim
short, yes, so I don't know. And I have a nice sweet pink
pair that I really like. But then I realised when I was
in the water swimming and I'm sorry, it looks like I've just
lost the head and I'm just swimming naked.
I'm just swimming. Pull around the kids pill looks
a bit dogs. Because you're pink.
Yeah, because I'm pink. My bottoms are pink.
It's just, yeah. So I've got another pair of,
like, classic flower designs on them.
Like this guy's a bit of fun. Yeah.
Oh, I could you, yeah, I'd say retro.
You've got like a retro style. We, I think we've discussed this
before. Well, usually like this.
I'd imagine like we I. Know a guy who knows a guy that
works for a big fashion website? OK, like the big one.
You're the one that. No, no.
Like do next. Exactly right here.
Yes. Oh, OK.
So I know a guy that knows a guy there and he gets like 40% off
because he works here. But if I send it to my friend he
sends it to that guy and then I get it for 40% off.
Wow. So I get a pair of really nice
women shorts for going to Portugal a couple of weeks ago.
Well you're not doing too bad, you still get free tier
machines. Yeah, I get free tier machines.
You get free tier machines, I get 40% off shorts.
Yeah, we put that together. That's that's impressive.
What we just get a cheaper pair of shorts?
I mean, that would be not what would be better in tiramisu in
your holidays. No.
What's Bali like? Do you know what I'd say?
Very White Lotus. That's the vibe I got.
Is there an undercurrent of like, something might happen
here and it might be dangerous, but it might be alright?
Just I've never had many experiences with Australian
people, I suppose because they're on the other side of the
equator and I just. They go there, don't.
That's close, but that's there like Magaluf.
So say those Bally's like that once in a lifetime island hop
experience and then it's nearly like Australians, I don't want
to categorise but like, you know, I thought everybody was
like Kylie and Jason, but they're not and we'll leave it
at that. A.
Little bit more like scally. What's there's a term?
Eggs. Bad eggs, bad eggs about with a
ruin and the vibe of what you would like.
Right, do you get me can? You find there is a term.
What's name? I think Michael.
Bogan loads of. Bogans.
That's what they call them bogans.
That's the one, Bogans. Do you stay in one place or did
you move around? So that was my, I think that's
where I went wrong. I think if you're going to go to
Bali, you're better than maybe go to a place, stay there for a
while, then go somewhere else. But we stayed and like 1 area
and then we're doing like did. Your fellow have the top off on.
Well. Did your fellow have the top off
on well? We were at the beach, like,
yeah. Some site stop.
It now don't you go there. He's trying.
To get an excuse. I would have rather him have
been like Winnie the Pooh on the beach, just T-shirt on, no
balls. I'd be more my cup of tea have.
You ever been that notice page? I have I have not been time one
but I've watched one. Oh, whoa.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So we snorkel on.
Though, Yeah. Then we were one of someone's
like oars and they're the speech over there and ask why and
that's how we look. But they're not.
They're not as sexy as you imagine when you're like a
younger guy. No, no, I'd be open to.
I've never been the one. No.
I'd be open to it, you know, but.
I still think you need to be a certain kind of confidence.
Yeah, yeah. To do it.
Like there's a guy that I saw in the gym change room who's a
Brazilian and a Prince Albert, a big Willy.
He just walked from the gym change rooms like, no.
So a Brazilian. Wax.
Beg Walt Prince Albert Pearson. And he had the tile over the
shoulder and he just walked. And I'd seen him once and never
again. And I was like, that was enough.
Because that's yeah in there. But like, that's nudist beach.
Content. Where is it?
Yeah. But he earrings up here too.
And a good time. Oh nice.
Yeah, like he looked a bit like Tom Smith, right?
You know, But that's the sort of vibe.
Dream Apartments, Tom. Yeah.
Stream he looked like not that it was Tom Smith.
He looked a bit like him. He that kind of tan and just a.
Lot Is there a nudist beach in Bali?
No, right. So I think that I think Bali's a
mix. I think it's a bit more, Yeah,
it's a bit more conservative. Do they do like like kill people
for crimes in Bali? Like if you're really bad you
get death sentence and all. I don't know.
I think do you, did you stay in like a wee floating villa and
all there? No, we didn't do.
No, no, no. We just stayed like at a hotel
and then. But I had a beachfront though.
Are you room service guy? Room service?
Not really and I don't take advantage of it.
And you don't like a mini part? Like what's your thoughts in a
mini part? It's kind of sitting there like
temptation. I'm not.
I'm not a spirits guy, so it's not.
Nobody. No, I just mean like the
chocolate in the sweets. Do you know the way it's all
sitting there like it's kind of like looking at you like the
apple and the garden and you're like, yeah, but it's like 4 LB.
You're going to get bailed at the end and.
This is what I don't know. How do they check that?
Because then I always think if I'm but if I'm checking out,
I'll take a chocolate bar and then be like I never touched it.
And then they will have time, but time I leave to go up and
check. They call somebody cheques the
room. Somethings are magnetic too.
If you take it away, you go. We we went to Dublin Zoo, Right?
You've been to Bali? Yeah, I was in Dublin Zoo and we
stayed over to a hotel near Dublin Zoo.
Top your card, You open a door like a fridge.
You pick whatever you want. When you close it, it charges
your card for whatever you took. And even if you didn't take
anything. Well, no, but you're going to
take something. If you're opening, it's just to
have a look. Go, but you need to tap your
card to open it. But that's what I mean.
Imagine. You can see through it.
You can see through. It oh right.
Oh so right. You've you've made an intention
then. OK.
Blew my mind. But it's like those stores, is
it like not Apple stores, like Amazon stores, you can just go
ahead and lift stuff and the charges.
Yep, at the SSE trusted you. That's mine.
I love. We man.
Like just go and go. There's your stuff made.
Cheers. Because you're picking mix where
you go, right? I don't.
Like you like the interaction? Yeah.
You're you're not a self scan guy.
No, I. I do it because you have to a
lot of places like there's this woman in the like a guy's nearby
me. He's a better chat sometimes and
sometimes when I'm coming home late at night, I don't want the
chat. And like I would try to give it
her most of the time, but then sometimes like not today and
I'll do I know they've got self-service check or 10 and I
feel bad because I must break her heart.
I went and she went to serve me and I was like I'm just going to
dust and I'm that. I felt bad.
I must break her wee heart because she looks forward that
chat with you. Yeah, because she does like
there'll be times where she wouldn't be at the desk and then
like you come in a bit and you'll be like, oh, sweet, I've
avoided her. And then she'll appear just from
underneath and really on though, I thought it got out of there
and she's like, come on. I mean, the sad thing where
she's going, I guess. And we scanner, you see the red
like flash and you're like, are you going to give it to her hand
of the red scanner? And you just look in her knee
eyes go, sorry, your spectator. We may as well just do that
there, you know? Where do you fly to, Jerry?
To Bali. Bali, or you just fly right
there. Oh, sorry.
Oh, no, like there's those different flights.
So well, I flew from Manchester to Manchester to Abu Dhabi, I
mean Abu Dhabi to Bali, but it was a wee bit nerve wracking
because remember every everything got on in the world.
I don't know what was was about. Like we weren't sure what was
going to happen. But no, it was all good.
What degrees does it get? Oh like 282930 and it was very
humid too. So are you comfortable?
Are you always I'm? Not a fan of humidity?
I don't like humid like no. See, I like.
A breeze. A sea breeze.
Like I find humidity drags other people in the my world.
What, because I just sweat normally so see whenever it's
humid, Not everyone's like me and I'm like I've I live.
This yes. Right.
That's it. So welcome to my world.
So you'll be there. Your hair will be all mad in
your face. But you like it because
everyone's doing it, yeah. Right.
So if you're going down, you're dragging everybody down with,
correct? Thank you.
So I'm in a vest sweating, but so is everyone else.
Where you going to this summer, David?
Are you going to have? No plans yet because I've I've a
lot of stuff on. If you're away a lot.
Up and yeah so yeah I was way lands are only there but I'm
again it's all depends on on how well work goes and how well the
tear sails get away you know what I mean.
So if people come see me starts at the on the 22nd of August.
This is my first date and then the last yeah.
So it goes through to the 24th of October is the where are you
this? I am going to Edinburgh,
Glasgow, Newcastle, Swansea, London, Dublin and in here I'm
doing Belfast, the big shows in Europa on the in October.
I don't know the exact, it's just probably should.
And then I'm doing Derry, which is just annoying.
It's actually on the 23rd of October and Portaferry cushion,
Dun port rush Oma, that's me. Did you ever see the?
Documentary about the Europa back in the day.
Is this about the? That's the most bloke.
What is what's the what's the thing that everyone says?
Tell us the strap. What's the Europe of strap line
most bomb to telling you? Yes, that's what it was, but
there was a documentary behind the scenes.
OK, years ago, yes I loved and the way you guy like yeah, a
couple of years ago wasn't too. Long ago.
Well, then maybe revisited it. But it was a it was a long time
ago, and it was the guy. The the guy like the front the
house guy, he yeah, he's he's a lot of class.
I saw him once at. A thing and was like, oh, he
wasn't really what I thought he'd be.
But then he was just like walking through a corridor and I
was like, he's not working though.
Why did I expect he was just going to be like coming up and
like he was? It wasn't in a hotel.
I just saw him like in a restaurant or something.
I said he didn't come in and check on me or anything.
That's mental though, isn't it? That you can see to ever see a
celebrity or somebody that you like pop for way more than other
people and you're like, you're losing your mind.
Like you could meet, you could meet doing what you we do.
And you could see someone be like it's normal to act.
But then you see somebody that you're like, I saw hard from the
Halifax. Out from Tenerife?
Yeah, stop. Here you go.
See, that's nice. I saw Ali Abraham.
Outside. The Emirates Stadium.
We were talking about Andy Abraham, the singer.
Ben Man earlier, yeah. Andy Abraham SO.
Remember the singer Ben Man? Yeah.
Of X Factor? Yeah.
Oh yeah. Did he know?
That Steve, he came down, he came second.
I think Alexander Burke did it. Yeah.
Yeah, maybe. Yes, he was.
Yeah. I.
Was I was. 1 And I was too excited for that.
I can see you being a big Alexander Burke.
Do you know what not? Really.
But I like what was the saying? What was her?
The elephant in the room was that.
Oh, she thought she. Created that she created the she
thought she brought her from America.
Yeah, she's like going to start saying that.
You all start saying this and then whoever the show was, like
we happened, you know, she she was.
There was just something not not quite right with her.
Oh no, I know I did like her, but like I think no, but like
she's not like she. Was brilliant, but she wasn't
like Leona, do you know? I mean, there's just that one
thing, like some of The X Factor ones.
You're like there's, but there's just something she maybe
couldn't get. My favourite.
Remember Rachel? Nothing.
I'm lazy at the moment No mash sugar walls mash.
No, she was in a she didn't get through like have you never
watched you need to do this? Oh like audition compilation
compilations yes, I always watch like say like Gemma Collins
compilations, Celebrity Big Brother compilations, Real
Housewives compilations and X Factor audition compilations.
Being like Big Brother himself, I.
Think you're doing brilliant in the Traitors?
I'd love to see you in the trailer.
Well, a scene that you had. Rachel in.
Is that a fit as a realer to say?
Yeah, Yeah. But you know what's so funny?
Rachel really is a traitor. Because Rachel told me so, she
got off that show that she was going to come on my podcast.
Oh, you got there. First supper.
Here and now. Rabbit.
You know what? Come on man, too.
Did she? Yeah.
Well. Hang on the you tried to steal.
Her already all. Later.
All by the way. Yeah, I love.
Rachel, I think she's, that's not what you were saying off
air. Guys.
Guys, sorry but fill me in. I'm a.
Big fan. Unbelievable.
Really brilliant. Will that have been out?
Or will that have been coming out?
Oh yeah, yeah, about it last. Week.
This week. No.
When this goes out. Sorry.
We're we're living. In the.
Press. About.
Going to the future. And then we'll be talking about
the past time. Yeah.
She was unbelievable. Yeah, brilliant.
Really. Yeah.
But that's sad that she did that to you.
No, not. At all.
I love that. No, I'll tell you.
There's one thing about. Me.
Sportsmanship #1 and I know you got the catch.
Well, makes me sad and I'm glad it was you.
Thank you. Or Dave.
No, you've got. No, we're going to.
Start a thing. Don't go to your.
Guest, I'm I'm going. To come back on yours, yes, you
need to come back, everybody. Loves me.
We didn't know each other and my hair was sitting.
Really. Weird that remember I grow my
hair long and then one bit of it fell down like this and he never
said to me it anywhere but you. You do this once a year.
And you think you're going to grow your hair and you get to
that point and you're like. God, God.
Forbid a try, but no you don't for better.
Try try. You don't try you.
Get it to a point of looking like a frumpy mummy and then you
just go, actually, I give up, come on.
See if you had to just seen. Through it and maybe gone to
your Barber and gone. Can you cut this with the
intention of growing it like Keith Duffy?
He's done. And remember, there's only at
the the curtains for a bit. I went back, you know.
Ronan. Yeah.
Remember, he had the long hair. And the earring the only one
person who supported. Me grow my hair long yeah
because I. Could see the potential and the
things give up, but you had the part the.
Hard part. You know the part when you're
half long, half short? You're just in the middle, so
it's coming down the hill. And you had a persevere.
You quit. Well, you know what?
I'll make you deal. If you grow your hair long, I'll
grow mine long too. Except I'm only allowed to shave
the top, so I'll grow it like Hulk Hogan.
I'll have the like that. I would love that.
Well. If you grow your.
Game from. Status quo, Yes.
Like Terry Notkins, I'll do that if you, if you grow yours long.
And I don't know, I think my time's gone.
I actually you put it off. But you know.
What? Because have you seen the new
style that people are doing, like the bald people with
mullets? So they're like, they're bald,
but they're growing the wee bit at the back and they're kind of.
That's an interesting look. It's a strong look.
Do you think I took her law? I think so.
I think you know. He'd look like Damon.
Targaryen, you. Know you know from house.
Of the Dragon, your man Matt, Matt Smith, You look a bit like
Matt Smith, but if you had the long hair, I imagine the ears
would come through the hair. So you'd have like wee bit of
Zelda thing going on. And I think it might be a nicer
or a bit like Arling Holland. You look a bit like him as well
if you had long hair, but you know like some of them like.
Premiership footballers that you think are maybe going to come
out but they never do and they wear the hair band when they're
playing football, yes. Not kind of.
So I can imagine with like the wee Ziggy Zaggy hair band, it's
all pushed back just to there. Who's the sexiest footballer of
all time? Of all time on Apella.
Oh, said it too quick. Gabriel Battistuda?
No. Yeah, he could be.
Roughly. A2 and I like that.
Who's the one that had butted? Was that, is that on?
Yeah, sure. But is it down?
We were like. So that is good.
He is, he is. But then he had just that.
Silly penalty spot ball, that's for ages.
But then he looked good, like, yeah.
Roy Keane do. You like a bad?
Boy, Jerry. I like a cheeky cunt, yeah.
I'm not gonna lie, right? I like.
Cheeky. I'm thinking a chiselled no guys
like fuck no no no. Like very tie, you know, right,
right, right. You know you like a.
Better. A better grant like you like you
don't like a Pebble. You like a Palmer stone?
It's a stone, but it's a better off.
But yes, yeah. Get you get.
What about like? What other bad boy?
What bad boys? Rather And the football, Yeah.
I'm trying to think or just in general or bad boys.
You're more Roy Keane. Than David Beckham.
Oh, 100% Yeah, yeah. Get you.
Yeah, like just more like or yeah, I like cheeky, right?
Because who it's who are some? Bad boys out there.
What about the chuckle? Brothers.
I think for a laugh. Yeah, but let me.
Tell you what, imagine being. Able to say to your mates?
Oh, here. Really here?
Maybe some? Maybe some?
Crack at a spit roast, wouldn't it?
Maybe you? 1.
Of them is there the fuck all. Brothers.
Yeah, all. Right P.
Oh God. Yeah, Barry he.
Fell the ladder. Did he actually?
Oh. Dear.
He is dead. He's definitely.
Dead but. He didn't fall off a lot in a
hilarious mix, no. OK, but he is dead like.
He stood at a bucket and fell downstairs.
That would be so shit trying to. Tell Paul chuckle and Barry
died. He would would think was a bit
the whole way through when the hearse pulled up.
They didn't. Put the handbrake rolled down
now. It.
Was. Mr B Bean had some Rowan.
Atkinson's got better looking as he's got older.
Good looking guy. And oily.
Something about. Him.
Some people are better. Older than.
They are definitely, you know, yeah.
Definitely. What way do you?
Think you're going? I actually, I think you're.
Like you're looking well. At the minute very much, you
know, I think I. Look better weirdly bald.
Definitely a little bit. Of time, I think definitely
yeah, I. Think a lot because I saw the
evolution of you. Hair wise, yeah, I saw you when
you when you when you had stuff. Yeah, it looked good.
Yeah, and you do have. Like there's follicles.
There like you do have like yeah, it's just gone.
See here it's. Gone like I was like really be
like sedan back in the day, you know, would have the big would
you not get the we've been talking.
Recently in the pot about the salmon sperm you're not going to
put in no but you know what I. Don't think, you know, there was
maybe a point when I was losing my hair and I hadn't gone bald.
I'd have been like, oh, no, save me.
Whereas now it's gone. I'm like, I don't think because
I see old photos of myself with hair and I prefer how I look
now. Yeah.
So I think like, but I think you've a good bald head.
Like you, you have a good head, good head for it and.
I think that's every. Man's fears, I know.
Definitely my time. I have a weird shaped head.
I know like well. You've a good hairline.
No, Shane, thank you. I think you're OK.
No, here we are. Genetics is going.
To go. I'm not flapping it up.
I'm 32. There's time.
You're OK. Ah.
You're OK. Because you want to.
Say there's a certain age. And it's like you've managed to
escape it, you get the 35. I don't know if I'm going to
make it. No, it's quite.
Fine like. But you know what?
You know what I think? Though is but see whenever the
people with hair transplant I think what you what you have
good is you have like a bit of fringe that comes down yeah so
see if you just wear your hair up like if you had like Shane
like a it looks like a way you can see the see the lying
whereas. You're you could.
You'll be grand, I just think. Yeah.
But I think when it goes, it goes.
But that's The thing is you don't.
Know what you look like bald and I think when you I think that's
everybody's fear and then once it's like you've got a good.
Ball, David. You're going to all here I'm
going I'm going to take a photo of you I.
Feel like I'd like, you know, like Lord of the.
Rings is it? Look at me.
Let's say we'll take us right. I will do you and I'm going.
To make his bald. Look.
At that poser I think. Let me see.
Make these guys. And see how they do.
I don't think I'll shoot it. Because here's the thing.
You guys help me The face. No, I can't do that.
Yeah, you know, I look like a big giant.
Baby. Have you ever had facial hair?
I've. Tried God, a lot knows.
I've tried so it doesn't grow. It does, but it's.
Fair. Like it's blonde.
No, you know what I mean. So yeah, I thought, I thought I
looked good with a moustache. I grew a bit of a moustache in
there. Guess who tore me?
Down, hey. Him.
Really. But you know what?
No, you don't. See a moustache and I think
right, there's a lot of beautiful, but that's some.
Hairline cheers. That's.
Not like a two pair anything. No, but no.
No, no. You can see his dad, you put it.
Really. Yes.
Yes, his dad's a handsome wee man.
Yes. Uh huh.
Yeah, a lot of style. I'm a funny fucker.
I laughed at that clip. Honest to God.
Which all Hughes, Oh, when he's making Paul punch him.
Oh. My God, that's a straight
you'll. Ask you Joe if he's.
Easier if he's gonna punch him in the stomach.
Is that a thing? Imagine you're the one that
killed him. Big Raider beats the shit out of
you. At the waterfront.
Kills your dad. That'll be sick.
Oh yeah, it'd be great. Is this the ball?
Photo like Dave. Kind of put you together.
As well. I don't even want to.
You actually do. You look badass, No?
I don't. I don't look badass, man.
I think you do. I'm not even going to comment,
I'm going to send that to the. Guys so they.
Can insert this in the show into the absolute.
That's what he is. Do you know what I also think
looks? Good with bold A pair of funky
glasses, yeah. You know they got Chunk?
Yeah, He doesn't have much in the way of eyebrows.
Jerry So it looks. I know, I know.
My eyebrows are. Well, no, I think my eyebrows
stop halfway through Shelby. My eyebrows stop halfway
through. Should I get some done?
Oh, I have. Enough that left Oh my gosh.
It just get real blonde. As you go towards the end.
But it's there though, I know. I should I die them?
Have you ever had like a tender on a hand?
No, no. Did you ever die your hair?
When? It was.
Like 13 I had a. Peroxide Bond French just a
French and then that was flecked out.
That was the. Thing yeah, that's quite a
lesbian haircut that. Isn't it just the front?
Yeah, front, but I was. Then.
Just experimenting. Just I did like a year as a
lesbian. Yeah, you could.
You could pull that. Off they see you know if you
just pull the cref down put will be a bit of a couple of earrings
in a Polish shirt. I hang seen getaway well.
No, thank you. I'm always.
I know I'm in your corner. Yeah.
Did you ever have like a mild colour?
I can imagine you were like Rihanna red or I had my I
bleached. It like proper band.
He's not talking about his hair. No, I do the.
Sun. Bleaching the perineum tag.
But I went to, I went to a proper Barber to get my hair
done because I didn't like the yellow hair.
You know when people just did the Sun and the Box guy and then
I, yeah. It's Cry I.
Was thinking about Diamine. Blown for the summer or
something, You know, Mad. Yeah, I think you'd pull it off.
I would be. Mad.
Don't think so. I think it would kind of be like
AJ, you might reach like a younger demographic, but still
you've got your seeing Todd poster boy image still intact.
I think you could work it. I think you should just do it
before it's too. Late.
You don't want to be hitting forty.
I think she's all right. Oh, I.
Age. Well, I remember I was 19 and I
turned 20 and I was so sad because I always want to get my
tongue pierced. I don't know why.
Have you though? I always set you up with them
like you. Should you should get?
Yeah. But no I.
Think once you hit 20 you can't get away with things like you're
a teenager. You can get an eyebrow Pierce
and a tongue Pierce and bleach your hair like but once you hit
20 but see you in your speedos. I could see of the nipple
Pierce. I have a nipple Pierce, See.
Do you they go I. Fell out though.
The nipple, the piercing, right? And but you know what?
I could see, and we're not. Actually, I could see you were
both on the WE chain. I just had the I'm going.
To do a lot for you. I love them.
I'm. Actually pretty British.
And people, might you say that all the time?
You're not, though. You're not.
I'd say when you know there's a. Guy on the stag do, you don't
really know when he goes. I'm not really drinking tonight
and you know he is. Come forward to four in the
morning. You go stud, you're drinking
mate, you're in gaol. What are you doing now?
I feel like you would suit a certain.
Style. That is a fashion style and he's
being facetious. Is this ChatGPT?
Oh yeah. He's such a dad.
With ChatGPT. Like that he does funny faces on
people, on the guys. Yeah.
Dave, I can see the stylish. Suit.
Can you talk to what prompt you're putting?
Yeah, we'll say give this guy bleach.
Blonde hair, almost white. Yes, and remove his eyebrows.
Don't remove my hair. No, that's very on at the
minute. Yeah.
Huh. So you don't know if I did?
No, it is. I like Mackalla.
Kylie Jenner. Yeah, like, like bleach
eyebrows. You'd love the Macallan.
Belfast. Macalla I'd be happy enough
with. Yeah, yeah, like the college.
I. Think I went.
I am more Belfast Mac but. You know what I think you turn
heads I. Think if you got released.
I'm not. Locked up into the.
Mac from the back of a van if we turned.
Up the van and released you to the Mac I.
I feel like. We like if we, you know, we do
pranks and go to things. I feel like we snuck you to Mac.
People wouldn't be like he's going to go.
I know what I could wear. To it that would more people I
give see like or like mid naughties.
Every football team kit bag had like 3 or 4 big sub suits,
right. So they're called all in one sub
suits your type. They're pro star, right?
And they're like all in one formula.
One, yes, but they're. Padded, but they're padded.
And they're really. Baggy OK and they zip up like 2
zips here and here. Oh and they're like pro star and
they're faded and all and maybe a bit ripped.
See, if you wore one of those people would be like, that's a
normal, that's a Michael, that'd be the.
Normal. Get the Michael.
I'm sorry, I'm fashion guy. I.
Called it fashion guy. Who is he?
Looking like because something's coming to my brain there.
Oh, it's your brain. I don't know.
I think this guy, this is this is a look.
You go for it. The eyebrows off, the hair
white. It is you don't hate.
It no because it looks old guy. Here it doesn't look like the
hairs too white. If it was a bit more awesome.
If they can make it ashy, add silver to.
It no no ash like. More.
Ashy there has to be a bit a better caramel there to warm
them up because you do like a wee bit like do you suffer from
like anaemia? Are you anaemic or?
Do you though? Like, no I'm not.
Even I'm being serious. No, no, you know, like he's
about Peel. Celtic skin there, I'm talent.
I am literally time. I don't see it.
To be honest. He.
Does time but. I can see your face looking a
bit yellow today, so maybe that's the anaemic side.
I think he. Hits that.
Because he prides himself with his time, Does he also?
Oh, sorry. I just don't think I look
yellow. I think I look like sent.
Over here, like Bart. Simpson No.
No more. Like.
You know, don't Dave, don't even go there.
Yeah. I'm not going to go there.
I want to go there. But a cat?
Oh. Don't go there.
Oh, I get. It.
Don't. Like what, Dave?
Oh well. It's that better?
That's better. That's it there.
Hold on now in. Terms of fashion what do we need
to add to him to make him more fashion and more like hip an
earring an earring I think harness an earring and harness
is that an outfit yeah earring and harness harness the first
picture looked like. A man called Ernest What colour
harness? Leather yellow or a red leather
harness? Well, maybe go like.
Lime green. More like planet love.
We're not. We're not.
Want to make them? Yeah.
It's not more real. In no it's not.
Berlin planet love Now what do you call things you wrap around
your? Arm like we strap, I can see
them before nose on. They just bring out the muscles
and then just for myself, I'll say and remove shirt.
Chad. Sometimes Chad GBT.
Eagles odd they'll be doing that.
No, I did one last night and. Wanted to make a guy look like a
devil and he wasn't ripped enough so I said make him look
more ripped and take a shirt off.
No, what were? You doing?
In the privacy room home where you wanted to make a guy look
like a devil. I'm just having.
A bit of fun, just having a bit of fun with myself, you know,
enjoying things. I think he.
Blurs the line. I think he blurs the line away,
but with what? Life.
Voodoo doll you. Can imagine the moment 11.
Several Jerry make this. Guy look like but you got.
To let them be. It's.
Also. Yeah, you've called it.
Because you said that out loud. The phone heard it and went,
This is why they yeah, yeah, they don't let you do all.
Stuff like that. Like I know I've tried to be
like. Remove the shirt here.
I did it for a wedding. England.
To tomorrow I went put this outfit together of things I have
and show me what it would work. And it worked.
Really. Yep, I'm going to pollution.
I'm scared of ChatGPT. Yeah, I don't.
I don't use it really. Like you just told us you did.
It right there to pick. I don't use it like that very.
Rarely, Yeah, very rarely. My ChatGPT prompts and like
things I ask it are so duh, right?
That's here, right? I always ask horoscope things.
Really. This gives you the truth ankle.
Rehab. Programme.
Oh. See.
It's a figure. How do you stabilise?
A foot so it doesn't move and you're doing things to it.
Mock up request. Samples.
Mock my house with. Tarmac workout plan straining
excess race water. Did you like break your phone?
Four odds. It's a good look.
I think he needs earrings. So earrings and a bit of blusher
rice. Cooking time.
OK. So you were making.
Like a Curry or. Something identify a song from
my home. Did they do?
It that I get. I said, can we hear the?
Hum if I hum a. Song, can you tell me?
What song it is? Why saying hey, hey man.
Hey guys. No it doesn't.
Let you. I did it was it?
A find a song for you and Shazam.
Can you do that on as well? I don't even know if Shazam
still going. It's Shazam not going it.
Is it is You'd be raging. If you're Shazam.
And then Google made it. You'd be like, that's our thing,
you're rats. Benidorm, September.
Weather you're going to Benidorm in September?
There's something maybe in there.
Stop it. We're thinking about like a no
Stop it, the lazy. Boys podcast we do.
Stop it. There might be a Benidorm.
Special. Stop it, I'll be the end of that
podcast. All three lazy boys aren't
making home from Benidorm in September.
Wait a minute, I thought you were doing a show.
In Benidorm, someone might. Be doing something.
Me, Willie and Mickey stop. We.
Each have to do like a thing. This is we're just talking about
it, right? But we each have to do a.
Thing. On the Willy's thing OK, might
be he meets up with, you know, the way they have tribute shows
yeah, he meets up with the Eminem tribute guy OK does he
better work and. Then Willy does.
Like half an hour on the strip in a bar as Eminem.
Oh my God, what are you going to do?
Mickey's going to take a water aerobic.
Class and I'm bringing us to a breakfast challenge.
A belly. Buster Breakfast challenge.
No. No, you want to get off your
chest like. Oh no, you're pointing the
finger here as well, do. You know what?
What's? The issue What's the issue here?
Jerry, do you know, like what's the issue?
What would you like to see him do, Jerry?
I just think needs to be about like.
You're we all fall. We all fall at the the at the
hell yeah, we're all being pimped out.
Yes, he's a master, and he and. He uh huh.
And you know. He does, he says.
The top. Of the food chain.
He's got Rich the puppeteer Rachel.
Duffy. There we go.
I'm sorry, she did.
Say I promised Jerry and I. Said fuck Jerry.
So what is his challenge? You know, like, say, friends you
need to. Do well, he's going to.
Do. An M&M tribute act for half an
hour. Macky's going to do water robic
for the class. Yeah, and what's an all
impressive. And she is going to take them
for breakfast. Yeah, that is.
That's just. So cop, cop out.
That's. Cop out, what do you want me?
What do you What would you have? Me do.
Hello, Sticky Becky. Ping pong show?
Yeah, you get fed a few. Oh, you don't even have foreskin
Jesus. Maybe that's what I do for.
My challenge What about build me a foreskin?
Well, do you know the way? Like the mopeds are begging.
Banador like to be skidders. Did you do something with the
skidders? He needs to go up on a hang
glider. Off the back of a boat,
something like that. That's what he needs to, yeah.
Some parasailing you. Need the parasail.
How false you want to film that? Put your own strap on.
Get there with the wee. Off.
Like we move past the sticky picky.
Idea GoPro in your chest. Your wee face, the ears.
Not I'll be. Hilarious.
What do you mean the wee ears are the shade of a helmet?
Your ears will. Be out and it'll be flapping and
it'll be hilarious and then he can fill you for the ground and
the your wee granny noises you do.
It'll be hilarious. That'd.
Be 10 out of 10 the. Parcel on the head?
No. No.
What's he So so Mickey? 'S doing all this well, he's out
all day. Pretend to be a rapper and
you're just having breakfast. I take them.
I take. Us to do a belly Buster?
He does. He has Crohn's.
So if he has the toast, he's fucked.
Oh, I'm not beating the toast. Yeah.
So that's OK. Well, why don't that?
What? If I I have a better idea.
Go why don't? Why don't Jerry and I come to be
the adjudicators and the choosers the chooser?
So we. Choose what you have to do.
So for our entertainment, we pick your challenges and you
have to do or maybe everybody listening gets to.
Pick Yeah. And I sent Jeremy and me to
what? We do, we said like Ant and Dec
but I don't want to do anything I wouldn't.
You love to call a shot leg. Don't you?
He's a trophy. We.
You know what he is, Gaslighter. That's a small man syndrome,
yeah. He is seeing.
It he is I'm. Seeing it, I didn't.
See it that day? About the branch, but no, I
think just very sneaky that's what you are.
We're only. Taking the comfort zone.
I just like. We better just a wee bit.
What if I? What if I do a workout on the
beach? What if I actually?
What if I run a 5K on the beach? Oh, that would embarrass me.
What a Benidorm. What if I get the carbon plate
to choose? On what?
That's all. Mikey's doing.
It like even the water aerobics, I don't think that's that
impressive. No, that is, that is, that is,
that is great as in whatever hotel we're.
Standing Mickey is going to do an impromptu one and we're going
to try and get everybody in and I said Kylie Minogue.
Locomotion on in the. Background.
He's wearing Hawaiian shirt. It's all going off, no bottoms
and flip. Yeah.
What? I would like.
To see. Would be you to take the kids
club for the day? That'd be fun for me.
Too hard to film. Oh yeah?
Well, especially with his record.
Yeah, there's no way he's got a camera near kids.
So I would say there's a chance. Yeah, but in in Benidorm, can
you deserve that Google activities to do in Benidorm,
There's no nothing. It's all just.
Like day trips and boards do what it is drinking and Brits
that. Want to set a?
Mobility scooters, but could you not do?
Something like that, like maybe like.
AI don't know like a police scooters.
Have you fucking greater? Mobility scooters.
Around Benidorm, it's already been.
Floated as an idea, Yeah. Look, I'll take them for
breakfast. We'll do a big eating gel.
You should. Do a funnel.
Funnel a beer or funnel a cider. 3 litres 1 down after three.
What about Like what? About something.
Really. Remember the Ice Bucket
challenge? Yeah, why don't you just like
do? That or something.
Like maybe randomly at like the side of the pool, but it's the
stuff that's wiped away from sticky Vicky.
Show yeah. Bucket over in the bucket with.
Yes, something like that. You want me to eat the ping pong
balls? Or you sit front.
And set because you know what happened once we were on a stag,
this one, and I'm not doing it we.
Were we were on a stag do once and there was.
This performer, a dancer, and her performance was she would
put stuff into her body. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So she had this particular, like, little, little tube, like
rubber little tube with a battery in the end.
And she put in herself and shot it.
And I caught it and put it in my friend's drink and then sort of
told her, what was it, a battery?
No, it was. I think it was like I.
Think I called it a vibrator. Jerry and I got it and put it in
his drink before he had paid any attention.
I knew it was. He was like shocked.
I popped it in his mouth. So something like that, you just
sit front and centre, sticky Vicky and she just shoots ping
pong balls at your face off those ears.
Content. Have he's ever been to a ping
pong show? No.
But I'm fantasising about it, right?
Now, so I went to a ping pong show in Thailand.
Honestly said that out loud just to let you know.
Sorry. It's no, they're really real.
They're really impressive and I've heard great reports about
like even if you look at Google reviews like sticky Vicky's
amazing. It's meant.
To be an amazing show and. Then I think Sticky Vicky's
passed away and and the daughter's now taken over.
Yeah, so the the relay pattern's been passed over and the legacy
continues in battle dorms. But Thailand, I went to one
really, really good. And I'm not even exaggerating.
This isn't bullshit. A bird flew out and landed in my
finger. I felt like Snow White.
Do you want think the wee? Birds all tweeted.
About Bird flew out of what? Well, like, I'm not going to
say. It but you know.
If you say it anatomical term. The family.
A bird fluid. Yeah.
Alive. Yeah.
Flu.
Like a flu. And landed my finger.
Goldfish. Goldfish.
Just as well. Squatting over a bowl with water
alive and swimming. About how long do you think the
bird have been in there? I don't know.
What sort of? Bird oil, it's actually.
You see when you think about it. Animal cruelty.
That's really, that's really. Oh yeah, I don't think the.
NSPCC or like good stuff by the way, because that's.
By the way, that's the children, but kind of, you know, like.
I don't think they. They don't do the.
NSPC I have a problem too, yeah. RSPC.
RSPCA is that. Right, but then there must be
somebody. Whose job is to the store, the
stuff like, you know, like an air Hostess would put the
baggages in the overhead. David called Calvin Cruise so.
Because man can do that job too. Yeah, but what I'm saying.
Is that could be his job, He could help her come out of your
cave. Your knuckle dragger.
I'm very short, arms off, you know.
But like, he could go back with Becky #2 and you could, like,
put the stuff in for, like, popular.
You burn in there and I could be your challenge.
You could be, yeah. Like showrunner Showrunner for
Sticky Becky, Showrunner. That's the.
One that is the one that would be tremendous good.
Imagine him having to pick up the ribbon stone.
I know what you do. I'm.
Not a monster. It was sticky vector.
You want me? To do a sticky vector.
Show. Right, everyone socks off.
Imagine how actually sad that would be.
Yeah, I know. We're really.
There gathering, we crowd. Right guys, together I'm going
to I'm going to shove us up my arse and be like and then you
bring out a ferret emotional. The most has been.
Hitting the most trap is dead. Oh no.
That'll be terrible because like, my favourite guy was a
guy. Called, I think was Stevie
Starr, right. So him and he was in Britain's
Got Talent and he would swallow things like he would swallow a
lot, yes. And he would swallow keys and in
his tummy he could connect it all.
That's the sort of show I like. The show, right?
Yeah. And he would do light bulbs.
I think we'll do the breakfast. Yeah.
I don't think people. Will want the breakfast.
The ankle feels shortchanged if you just keep going breakfast.
The showrunner for Sticky Vicky's to take it, I don't
think. What about maybe like?
Is there like a? Roller diner, like just rock,
you know, I don't know. Yeah, I think it'd be funny
seeing, seeing like, rollerblades.
Yeah. Weird fun roller.
Skates. No, it's.
No, I just think it'd be funny because you'd like me fall.
I like, I don't know. It's not.
Benidorm But I could see you doing like if it was New York,
like Alan Stardust Diner, I could see you doing that waiter
type thing, yes. Yeah, Stripper.
Oh. Well, I like seeing Mickey.
As a stripper, Sticky Mickey. There you go, Sticky Mickey, and
I'll do the. Aerobics class that's yeah,
there that works. That works.
I I. I bring the right energy to the.
Aerobics class. And you know what?
I'd rather not say Let's. Go girls, come on.
I think it'd be more fun. To watch.
Willie be a club Rep for an even rather than doing the game and
emperor, you know, I think that'd be great.
He would be classified into that.
What about it's me? As a club Rep, but I'm just
taking you for like one or two a really like laid back night.
There'd be so many complaints, yeah.
But we came out for a rager and Dick brought us for a coffee.
Right guys? Shot of some Booker.
Between 20 of us. Take a week.
That's just how you did here. Yeah.
Yeah, I hear. Take us, Brocca.
No. Short heads in the morning.
Yeah. Oh.
Fuck. Sticky Mickey Club, Reb.
Willy And then you do the water, the water aerobics.
That we all these would love. That you and the grannies.
Oh, that that were actually really.
Works, yeah, the wood, like genuinely, yeah, but then I
could see him getting really. Involved in it like doing like
archery and all rifle shooting with everyone around the hotel,
everyone's going out. You're like now I'm running the
classes today and I can see him not coming.
Home as well. Yeah, yeah, working.
There he used to belt. It in a sense of an.
Attachment to Yeah, you do have like the good hotel.
Club Rep five You do know the activities, man?
Like you would. Love to the control of the
activity, that'd be brilliant. Doing the DJ song.
List, playlist and all DJ. DJ at the at the hotel.
Round the pool. Yeah, you too.
Shasha. Hush, hush.
Edward too. Shasha.
Oh. See, that's another thing.
Edward you. Have you done?
You've done. DJ and at events before have you
are like playing some tracks at the.
Turntables. More I'm.
More like Paris Hilton. Press play, do you know?
And I'm not gonna. You're not live mixing, no.
DJs are very precious. About that like so I'm not going
to claim anything, but you've good taste the music and you.
Can hit play? Uh huh, you have a.
Good playlist and I'm able to mix it and stuff but I'm not
like Sega. Sega, you mixed it, no?
You're able to. Add songs on.
Spotify I just always. Kind of maybe do like a wee
sound before you know where the song is coming in and it's about
to begin. I might go.
You're brilliant. To get that you're brilliant to
that. Yeah.
Something like that. Let's.
Go doing a bit of that one earphone.
Oh, why? And then?
Do like, we know, like I'll see the drop.
I'll see you after the gig. After the set.
Yeah, You guys will leave it there.
Been a bloody pleasure. Can I tell you out right now?
Yeah Jerry. What dates Waterfront show So
9th of October so. Yes, I would get it see by the.
Time this comes out, you might not be able to get a ticket on
Yeah, I don't I. Don't know but.
I 9th of Well, they're looking at another.
One knock, I can't be bollard. One and done, Jerry.
I think it'll be gone. See, when we checking out this,
it'll be gone. And yeah, we'll do.
We'll do some. Yeah, but we'll strategize.
I think we'll need to go to the ground.
Central Jake as you take grand to.
The top Let's go to the. Top I've never been.
We'll all sit down. Get.
Afternoon tea. Julian Simmons bring him along
as well. Will not work.
Bench will brainstorm, talk about this Bannerdorm thing.
Let's think a really good ideas. Yeah, sounds like a lot of fun.
David, you want to plug your tooth?
Yes, the Turi obsessed. Tour starts on the 22nd of
August. Big show in the Europa.
I feel like that's maybe the 20th, 17th October, 17th October
at the Europa. It's selling really well.
So if you want to go to that, please get your tickets soon and
the link for everything will be in the.
Description. Yeah, at davevalleycomedy.com
Forward. Slash tour.
Can I just thank thank you both one more.
Time. Oh, thanks not.
A problem? Can I just say as well?
By the way. Like, you know, I love you.
It's both like, but you're a gentleman.
Like genuinely credit where credit Stew.
Great team and all. Yeah.
Oh, that was we fake smile. Oh, Jerry, can I thank you for
saying that? Yeah, no.
Genuinely. And I wasn't made to.
Say that, by the way, genuinely thank you, Jerry.
No, and can. I thank you Dave as well.
Oh well. Thank you very much.
Do you want? To thank Jerry.
Always a pleasure. Never, George.
Thank you. Oh, you both.
Like a different times. I'm sorry to say you look like a
son. You do actually.
You do. Actually we, but unlike, you
know, you're like, it's the perfect sitcom because he's like
basic. So basically you, you, we film a
scene, you're all you do shave off the moustache for you come
out to him. He's like, son, I love you, but
I don't know if I can accept that.
No, listen, he's down at the worker man's club.
He's down at the worker man's club and he's like, don't know
what to do, boys. And then and then he becomes
your biggest supporter and you entered, you get on Drag Race UK
and who's there? Who's there at the recording?
Your daddy. But you know what though?
Can I say? As a daddy.
See, if you're my son, I'd be very proud of you.
I'd be very proud of you because your work ethic brilliant.
Really. You have only passed away?
No, no, no. No work ethic as a person you're
a. Great man, really.
Oh, thanks. Yes, I really.
Like I like your. Company a lot.
But likewise. They're all class.
Nice, nice way to finish the day.
You seem like a real cynical bastard though.
Is he a real Conti? Cynical.
You might be happy. For others, just work.
Too long with you indeed. It's what?
Fair, there's. Maybe a side I don't say no, I
like what I say. Thanks.
Joe and see whenever I. See your content.
And all I look at angle myself, I'm happy that he's happy.
Yep, Yep. And I'm happy you're happy.
That he's up. No, I will say I did look at
your. Holiday photos and I was jealous
but apart from that, yeah, I will go next time.
Yeah, we'll all go. We're going more holiday watch,
but you're. Not in them.