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Let's get into this episode. My guest is a chef himself.
He likes to do a little bit of cooking.
He is 1 of this Land's finest comedic minds.
He's an expert on coins. He's a doctor of I don't know
what the fuck loads. He has all these qualifications
and I don't know why he does it. I think it's mental because he's
way too old. He is none other than the Goblin
King himself. Ladies and gentlemen, go nuts.
Go wild. Stomp.
The fate would holler. Welcome to the stage, my friend.
And yours, Kieran Bartlett. Kieran Maliki.
Juror Bartlett. The Belfast.
Boy, he's a Belfast boy. She keep that's your new
nickname. They were starting to pod again.
I wasn't in the groove. This is at night.
This is at night, but it just wasn't on the groove because we
had a a working brunch and. Breakfast A bossman.
I don't like the word brunch. It was nice to be breakfast.
Yep, good to see you man. Yeah.
I I got a new coat over guys wearing a newbie jacket and a
few people in jocks are commented on and you said no.
That's because before you, before I could say anything
about your jacket, you were talking very much at me, by the
way, about my lack of jacket, my Locket, if you would.
I was. Finals were it's just a nice
sweet jumper. Yeah, that's what went there.
Jumper. See when that catches a bit of
drizzle that's going to weigh you down.
Brother. That's a cheer, male.
What you doing your mediaeval swordsman?
And I tried swimming in this in Tenerife.
No, I am I, I, I like your jacket.
It's lovely. Yeah, but I Yeah.
So I saw you. You were a Ted Jockster.
And I crossed the road and in the middle, across the road, I
showed it. Have you no jacket because it
was drizzling? She you need a.
Really cool drizzle I do you think?
You're too cool. For a wrinkle, no I you.
Do Oh my God, you think you're too cool for a ring?
I'm. Definitely too cool for an
umbrella, but I have used 1 twice in the last year, which is
as much as I've ever used 1 and I.
Do shove it up yours. No, I just, I just, I opened it
inside my jabber, but I'm just to see what would happen.
But I'm I, what's the I have a wrinkle, right?
It's in the boot of my car. I'll show you it later.
It's rare that. Sounds like you're going to
murder. Me, I know it's it you you could
literally wrap a dead body in it.
It's it's doesn't help or or live 1 It's it's a it's a DPM
camouflage. What's that like?
You're you're what do you drink Potter?
Like a what does it sound for DPM?
Did you tell me digital? Camouflage.
It's it's what you would describe as your classic army
camouflage. What do you have?
Because I used to. I used to have it for like our
soft stuff fuck up, right? I don't even want to get a.
New podcasting for this whole episode.
Did you do airsoft? Hold on, let me go.
I got to get shit for this, but hold on, let me get up my nerd.
The Doctor, it's charged. That's blown up.
Hey, my what was it like doing there?
Is that like that's like pretend armies?
You're fucking asshole. What's good crack?
Yeah, but why do you have to do it and all that?
Why can't you just wear your normal clothes?
Because it's not real. You can't.
I didn't really ever wore this jacket to it.
I had this jacket. You didn't?
No, didn't. I really didn't.
Did you put, did you put like paint on your face and.
Stuff no, but I. No, just say the things.
Right, I'll tell you things that have.
What do you do? Oh, like too old to be doing
like, I mean like 20 like. People who don't know what our
soft is, what is. It it's paintball without the
paint, you should pallets instead of paint, right?
And that's, as I said, you want to.
Go for pints, but there's no pints.
It's not. That's like.
It's for guys who's going to. Paint it's exchange.
You want to go for pints and end up having a wee whiskey instead,
right? It's more hardcore.
Right. Oh no.
It's not hardcore camp to shoot
what? Do you actually shoot?
Pelts. Oh, you should each other,
Pelagans. Right.
I don't know why I'm actually that you should each other
Pelagans. It's actually quite hard.
Yeah, right. It's good like right.
So. Did you have a crew you would go
along with a couple other boys? Genuinely like I had no mates go
with us. Kev came with me a few times and
Coke came with me a few times. My nephew do.
You want big coat? Big coat.
Yeah, yeah, he would come with me a few.
Times where would you where do? You where do you do right?
So I I used to go to a site and our soft site.
That's called. I'll meet you at the site.
You're a ball bag. I I used to go to 1 and down
there on my. As a long way to go.
To it was, it was 45 minute drive.
It was good, yeah, it was a nice drive.
You'd feel very chilled on the way back.
I would go early in the morning on a Saturday, right, and you
play. I would play up the launch time
and then. Are you in a team?
Yeah, yeah, there'd be teams. Yet, what do you call each
other? It's like red and blue like.
No, but like you say, like skipper or anything.
No, mate would have been, you know, all right mate, like it
was. What happens when you get shot?
You ah. You should hit and you have to
go back there a respawn. You know what I would do?
Just not just. I know you're exactly that type
of guy. And then I would you, you would
be getting continually shot hard down for that.
Oh folks, up by you and the other cool guy.
You're a fucking asshole here right?
So I'll be honest with you, people would go to it in
different types of outfit. So.
People would go to it in like literally like full British Army
uniform, right? Like.
Enorma. Like ferry, Like ferry,
authentic. Other people would go dressed as
like Al Qaeda fighters and stuff, right?
People would go as like Navy Seals or SAS, right you?
I'm being serious. Couldn't not be argued to that
isn't slightly bad tears to show up as Al Qaeda people all the
time. You mean like local guys from
here? Yeah, whoever they get in the
gear. You fucking?
Like, did you ever see Beyoncé? Did you ever see anybody in a
turban? I saw stuff.
Like that, yeah. Or it would be, it weren't like
it wouldn't be a turban per SE. It would be like, you know, like
a Shima, you know, like the like the Arabian like neck scarf
thing, right. OK, there were those.
Imagine a guy just like taking it easy on a Saturday night.
He's missing. You're not drinking tonight.
He's like, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah.
I'm getting done up with bin Laden in the morning.
People didn't know me. No, but nobody was doing
specific. Guys.
Say like ethnic transitions, nobody was doing that.
They were just wearing the clothes now and then there was
people wearing like you get. Anyone in the world?
You would get you would you would get some guys going in
like World War 2 style like like different countries or uniforms.
So like who else? Like, not like John, not like SS
or anything, but like. So you're on the benefit.
You're running. A sure American or.
You're running about a feed Norma trying to shoot Osama bin
Laden and hit. Well, here's here's what here's
what I was dressed as. Don't say stone.
No, no, I would, I would. So you need, you need to wear
something right. So you have options here.
You must wear eye protection, right?
And there's a lot of options she can get like you can get face
masks that cover the whole face and or like maybe say like
plastic or carbon or like metal or neoprene or something, right?
And they're like, and you get ones that have like mesh glasses
on them, but when you're looking out of those, it's a bit meshy
and. The problem?
You can get guys that were like see, like they look, they're
shooting glasses, but they look like safety glasses out of
science, right? And you get different shades of
those. You get guys that just were like
tested, like what do you call it like tested?
They look like sunglasses right And that but I I had and still
have like clear plastic like a what what what like a SWAT team
guy would wear right there right and then you have a choice.
Then it's up to you this next bit.
Do you want to cover your face? My if I say to you getting shot
one of these pallets within what 20-30 metres will probably cut
skin on your face 20 metres. Maybe you'll cover your face
right now there's people that go hardcore don't care.
I would have worn a balaclava and these right now not about it
didn't have any as colour. It was like a ski like a like a
ski mask right on that. And then I have like a black
because you have big and camel trousers and boots.
What? What did you say?
I just mean like it would have to like you're you're.
Just it was just, it was a blanket, right?
That's what I typically would have gone, yeah.
And then you get into all the stuff about the different
weapons and all and that is in there like if anybody's looking
to buy or soft gear. Was there ever any?
Did you ever sell them? What did you ever get?
In any like disagreements or arguments with anyone.
I never did, but Kevner took last time.
Kev, this is true. Last time Kev came with me and
he said he'd never be back and he was never back.
For some reason I'm Pitcher and Chloe and my Bartlett also
behind you talking down. So the mom bought a lot of
people that ever done airsoft. No she she's definitely shot
guns of mine in the house made. I've used them for all sorts.
I killed. I killed the most in my mom's
house. I've killed 2 mice with a gun.
Is this a Doctor Seuss? Thing.
Well, I killed the mice in the house.
You killed the most with a Pelican.
I killed hey. No, you didn't stop trying to
excuse me because you're doing a podcast.
Fuck up. Oh yeah.
Here he is. Excuse me?
No, like they made these things. These things are.
Why you J from me in between? They're not like, shitty.
They're not like shitty Pelicans that you buy.
Oh yeah, like sure, like on. Actual SAS ones.
Do you know what I mean? No, they're not.
They're not like shitty like and then you pull it back and shoot
one more. These are like automatic tell.
Me through the mate. What put me through the mate?
Right, hold on, because let me, let me, let me genuinely finish
the wee bit that we're on there about masks and all right, Yeah.
So sometimes you get people that wanna sorry, I have a couple
things to get through here masks wise.
Daniel Benningford. Masks wise, one of the one of
the first times we ever went, the one we went, the one on
Patrick, this is I think this is really funny.
And there was like a, if you haven't been that side before,
you have to sit through a safety briefing, right?
It's like 2 minutes, 3 minutes of a, you know, here's what the
fucking first day it is. You know, the safety at this
particular place wasn't as good as the one in Armagh.
Anyway, we get to. You don't need to mention.
That OK, Well, we're there. There's like this family that
are there and this is a day I'm there with me, my mate and
Dougie and Cavie are there as well, right?
And they enjoyed it or whatever, but I loved it and I ended up
getting into it anyway. So we you're such a wee Dick,
right? We're at this.
And during the safety briefing, the guy says you need to be
careful with these weapons. You know, if you're, if you're
really close to somebody and say you've snuck up behind them or
you just say bang or something like that, you don't, you don't
actually shoot people from really close in because you can
hurt. Them So would you have done
that? Like would you have snuck up?
I'm I wasn't. Be behind, guys.
I'm not a sneaker, right? Would you?
Would you have had guys behind you?
Talk off, right? And I, I am I so we're sorry,
we're sitting, we're listening to this guy.
And he says like, so if you're, if you're in like 1 of the
confined spaces with somebody trying not to shoot them because
shoot on them because it'll hurt them, right?
And he goes like some of these some of these weapons like you
know that that distance, you know they're strong and cut your
face and knock out a tooth, right.
And then he goes so any questions and the die out of
this family. It's like him is messes and his
two wee boys right goes I have a question.
How strong are these weapons with the knockout of tooth?
I would you've just heard him say it like there's no that's
not something you would never say to somebody, isn't it?
You would never say to somebody How strong is your microwave?
Would it not got a tooth like you would never, you know?
Well known phrase. It was so weird, I remember just
like laughing balls off on him. But then so the day there was a
day then on on the site that I was a regular at anyway for a
time. Fuck up right?
She and I have a ridiculous amount of our soft stuff.
I can't wait to see you put. Will you please send me a photo
of you and all this gear so we can put it up?
Yeah, but I'm bound to still have a couple of photos.
I have a few, could we do airsoft?
I admit I have enough stuff for like maybe like a comedians that
will do our soft. All they have to do is show up.
Yes, right. So and he wants to shoot me.
I am. So we're at we're at the site.
There's a guy who played at the site.
You know one of those people. That's what you call it, is it?
You're going to play out. Yeah, you play our soft like
right. So we're at the site and this
guy, there's a guy like this probably in every bowling alley,
every pool table, every fucking laser quest who knows the nukes
and the knows every bit you know somebody that when they're.
He knows enough to knock out the.
Two playing Call of Duty or something they start every round
by turning 32° that way and throwing the grenade right
because they know it kills everyone.
This guy knows all the bets. I had one particular day where
I, I got this guy a lot of times and it was great.
But anyway, or Kevin, Kev goes to Kev, Kev goes to sorry, Kev
goes to get this guy, right. They're quite close together and
I'd like one of the wee sort of wooden hots in this bit.
And Kev, sorry. So he shoots at Kev, Kev shoots
back. Yeah.
And. Kev goes, no, I just I just got
you and he's like I got you. And Kev goes, you didn't and he
goes dead and he goes your head, your head and Kev goes and I
hear this from 30 yards away. I just hear our Kevin's voice
going so I'll see who's fucking hit.
And I went Kev, you know, like I'm just like don't do it.
Why you start? Why you starting to fight by my
place of my place of fun? There's nothing funnier to me
than what you think that is to how you've described it, which
is you and your brother who's older.
Who's older than me so. If you're what age?
Mid 20s to late 20s? Thirty.
Late 20s. So you're 28?
He's mid 30s like you. In your late 20s, your brother
in your mid 30s. Leave the house early in the
morning, Mommy, we're a way to play with your toy guns.
And then you go. You hear a bit of shouting, then
your brother's nearly getting into the.
Fight. You're getting into the fight.
Leave them. He's going then I was guy and I
literally I'm going No, no, like I I go over and I'm like stop.
And then the Marshall comes over.
I know. I knew you're gonna have to
just. Call him Dean.
There's this guy as Marshall and the.
Marshall Pro. I was like lads.
What he's done, like, he was very much of like the Israel
playing with toy guns, fuck up. And it's great.
It's a great time. Is that why did you stop doing
it? I just fell out.
I got so in 2014, fell out of the way going and then the site
that I went to closed down, which was shipped and then I
tried one or two around Belfast, but I haven't been in ages.
I'll just have my back, but I'll have all the stuff.
It's just sitting there. What was your best ever like
hit? Do you ever play the long game
like we ever just. Well, I did used to have a
sniper rifle that I got somebody with one time, which was a good
you. You would have hated the whole
look of this thing, Shane, but I did also it has a scope and all
anyway, but also look, I don't know.
Do you know what it had or you're going to hear this.
It had a scope and it had which I which I had zeroed.
So it was quite accurate like and it also had I'd made it.
No, I'd made, I'd made like a Gilly for the barrel, like a
whole, like a barrel length Gilly Fort which I pretend which
I watched. Gilly means.
Like a Gilly suit. Oh, now you said Gilly suit.
You know, like. That is, there was people used
to go to the fucking thing in Gilly suits and all.
Mate, I don't know what a Gilly suit is and neither do you know
like. A like a like a sniper suit.
You know, like the suits you see snipers worm where they're like,
they step up out of the grass, you go holy.
Fox and it's like, we are we Bigfoot.
Dressing, yes, people used to do that.
See, now you can be more. But I need one for this sniper
rifle. Gilly shoot.
Gilly shoot.
Like it was like a barrel. It was a barrel length Gilly for
this thing where I all share in the effort I went through to
make this thing. I got the right thickness of
pipe out of B&Q and cut it off and all so that it was really
snug so it wouldn't move. And then I draped like I put
camo tape around it and then draped like hessian and
different camo materials over and all it looked class.
Yeah. But doesn't sound great when
you're talking about it, does it?
It was a good time. You would probably have a good
time now you asked me what was the question you asked me.
I can't literally said. I think I said how are you?
I hear we are Gilly suits. There was a question you asked
me. It wasn't me.
I just said hello. Where you said no because I I
then went back. How you don't play American
football? How do you have CTE?
What's the getting hit with? It I know there was, there was a
question, there was a question. You how do you kill a mice?
Mice, right? So this is true story.
The my mom's house is built on it's got it's built Indian
gravesite. It's built on an old like
mirror, right? Roger.
Well, yeah, she lives on top of Roger Moore, who doesn't.
And so when we like when we would have first moved in there,
mice were an issue, right, just like for everyone in in the
streets where we lived, especially when the building
Sentinel was there. But then across across the
street, somebody this is like well into my PhD at that time,
which was when I was doing a lot of our soft, I don't know, PhD
under so cool. You.
Mr Cool. I I had recently acquired a so
so the weapons are like realistic, what they call it
replicas. They're called, they're called
real imitation firearms. Legally, Shane, right?
So it's just better than toys? Yes, it is.
It is. And this one was based on the
1928 model of Thompson submachine gun, right?
So like the one that Tom Hanks would use in same private ran.
Anyway, I had this and I was very happy with it.
I'd spent some time ageing it and whatnot, right?
I know, Oh my, I know. You wouldn't believe how nerdy
it gets, right? Anyway, I mean, I'm not even the
biggest nerd into it. I'm being.
Spent time making it look older than it was.
Yeah, you're, you're a mental man.
Right, this is here. I had nothing else to do, right?
Anyway, go outside. I was going inside the other
children, a sweet gun anyway, so.
That's why you did not meet, some said.
Anyone want to be friends? So anyway, I'm sitting, going.
You're such a Dick. I'm sitting doing PhD stuff
right across the street. Somebody was getting a wall sort
of redone and must have disturbed some kind of mouse
house, right? Because we all ended up getting
mice in the first four or five houses in the street at this
time, right? And I mean, relentless for a
couple of weeks, like we were, we were laying traps, we were
putting poison down. They're fucking turned up dead
everywhere, right? I'm sitting doing my PhD one
night and I'm sitting at the computer and over to my right is
the door in the, the kitchen and, and dining room, right.
But there's like a, just a, my mum has like a big kitchen
there, right? All right.
And, and I'm sitting typing and out of the corner of my eye, you
know, this does sometimes happen to me when I'm really tired, I
see a mouse right now when I'm really tired.
I would sometimes you know, if you see when you're knackered,
you start going like is there a fucking cat over there?
Right. Anyway, I sometimes would see
cats and mice right when I'm really knackered.
But I looked around and there was legit ambush and then this
other one came out and it was like they were sitting talking
and I was like this is fucking grandma and I can't do anything
about. It do my PHDI.
Was I was that guy's doctoral research going on here?
So how do you like, you can't do anything I couldn't like I'm not
that fast. So So what I did was I went
upstairs and I got my Thompson sub machine gun, right.
And they were happy to wait. They scattered when I moved,
right? But I thought, I'm not sitting
here. I don't like them.
I'm not sitting here. And if they're going to be about
me, they're going to get fucking shot, right?
So I go upstairs. I got my Thompson set up down
beside me and I'm sitting typing away again.
I'm typing away and we're getting into like maybe like
half two, 3:00 in the morning at this time.
I'm sitting just fucking giving it rice and the next thing on
the following the kitchen, we my scurries out, turns starts
walking towards me and then from behind the bin, another one
comes out and the two of them are just sitting nearly in the
same spot. I'm going and I'm already see
what I have for you and I turn. I left them.
I lifted the thing and swung in the swivel chair quite slowly
and I held it up, made sure it was on Full Auto and just went.
Two bursts and the two of them just went and it was like their.
Arms went up. Mate, it was, I swear to God, it
was like, it was, it was like Sam Brevoran, right, Except
there were mice. But I am.
I mailed the two of them. And it was disgusting.
I mean, they died instantly, but it was like later in hospital.
No, but I had to go. I had to go over, like sweep
them up. And my dad was raging because of
the noise of the gun. Yeah, he said, well, he showed
them what's up, what's up? And I'm like, I've killed a
couple of mice with what? And I was like, only ourself and
he's for fuck, right? And yeah, that was it.
I'll tell them to swap them up. I did also kill one one time.
I believe you, but. The name that I had.
There's going to be a lot of comments called bullshit on.
That, but I believe you, I'm saying.
I believe you. I know.
I'm just saying that's. Fine, it isn't bullshit.
Yeah, my my mom. I'll be honest with you more.
Bartlett will back up more board will back it up yeah, yeah,
yeah, I killed one more time. I killed one with an M14 as
well. But I I did shoot McDowell that
that as well, huh? Again and not in the computer
room. I had your dad.
They look. Like a mice.
No, no, my dad was McDonald's. He was actually behind me and I
had this he he called me and goes go and get one of your
guns. There's a motion here, right?
I swear to God, I don't want to got this M14.
Now you could set it there for a Lotto as well.
And I came in and the he was like, it's over.
Like it's in the computer room in between these two bookcases
and it ran out. And it just, you know, sometimes
like when an animal, like a mosher spider, it comes out and
it sees you and it just goes right.
It did that and I and I fucking shot all it and I and I hit it,
but I fire maybe too many times. And a couple of the things
ricocheted and hit my dabahami and he was raging about it.
I also I owe you an apology. This is true.
I know I owe you an apology because I misjudge you.
Can I? Can I be honest?
I'm cooler than you. You're the coolest kid that's.
True, I am cool. I know, I honestly know that I
know all this. I owe you an apology.
I know what could be cooler than killing mice.
Take taking time away from a studies to.
Could. You, if I, I'll be honest, you
see if anybody does try and call bullshit on us and fuck
themselves because it's literally true.
Like I've killed 3 mice with peloton's in my life, and I've
killed about another 4, sometimes in weird ways.
So you've. We've had mice a few times in
that house. Yeah, but yeah.
Yeah, but you've killed mice in weirder ways than what you've
described the. The right this is definitely the
there's two fairy weird ones. 1 was.
There's already been weird ones, so what's weird?
What 1 was really weird where I went on this is when I was a kid
I was only about 7 with six or seven with I must have been 6
because it was still in Saint Andals and this happened and I
the. Cathedral.
I can't. I know I'm busy.
No, this is the primary school. Primary school when I was just
before it turns. Out I was in Sundance Cathedral
Choir where? We boy soprano.
No, there's no crime or anything like that.
It was the choir. So I, I yeah.
So I go. This is, I go out.
We have mice at this time. Dad's been catching them with
traps. The boys have been doing things
to catch them. Right.
With paramilitaries. Yeah, and he I go to put my
shoes on one day on the round of the stairs.
My shoes and I go to put my shoes on one day.
And when I'm when I'm out there, I'm wearing my socks when I'm
out there and my stocking feet, as they say.
I stepped almost in the dark, didn't know was there just felt
that we what you'd be described as a soft crunch, right.
That didn't. That killed it.
It killed it, right? And I, I didn't even know.
I didn't even know until I got home later out there, I thought,
I've just stepped on something out there like I like, I didn't
even check right. And we didn't at this time, we
didn't Pringle at this time. We didn't have a light there
under the stars, right. So I walked on it, put my shoes
on, went to school, came home and my mum goes, you must see
the news. You must have got a mouse this
morning. And I was like, whatever.
And she was like, no, like. Because that wouldn't fit like
you'd be like. I thought.
I thought she meant that maybe one of the traps had gone off in
our room and she was like I said, what do you mean?
She was like there was a damn mouse on the stars this morning
and I have a fuck. I I didn't say fuck.
It was sex. I went Oh my, I went.
I must have sort of stepped on one might even know about it.
So and then another weird one was as when it was an adult, but
before the airsoft. I was again though in the in
that computer room, because it's near.
It goes on the garage in the. What this is like?
Have you ever seen Mindhunter? The the FBI show, Yeah, it's
like this while I'm profiling. Nice.
No, no, no. I'm profiling you.
All right? I've gone to meet you in prison.
Well, there's there's glass in between US and your details.
They they are legitimately vermin like I don't take
pleasure in killing them like but they are vermin like I mean
they pass and shit on your stuff and eat books and all their we
Dicks so you do need to get them out of your house anyway.
Change edit this so he's talking about foreign people.
Right, so so we. Have you killed more?
This, I'll just tell you this one then I'm finished with the
killing fields, right. So we, we, I was in, I was
literally in talking with the hard nieces.
I was, I was doing my undergrad. So this is like 5-6 years before
our soft stuff and the dad's in our computer room and he's
sitting playing Delta Force or something, right.
And I am. I have a bottle of water like a
big evion in my hand. Right, it was probably small.
And I'm standing talking with that, and a mouse comes out of
the garage. And so there's a step.
So I'm up on the step. There's a big step down into
that room, right? But that's down.
And I'm on the step. And this mouse comes out of the
garage, which is on the level of my dad and just stops almost
directly right in between US and just does one of those things
again. And we'll both clock it and it's
just looking at us. And I'm sitting looking at it.
I'm a dog goes, he just goes, he just goes drop your water off.
Drop your water off. I thought you said your wallet
and I was like. That would that would I would
kill him. A killer bear.
So I literally go I guess from a bottle of water and drop it off
right and it it mortally wins the most but doesn't kill it
right? And it starts trying to like I'm
just looking outgoing and my dad got up, right.
My dad get up and does like a Bruce Lee stamp, just like
stamps on it. And as I'm saying, nice one.
I didn't even get to say nice one.
I just go night. The second one, it was
completely unnecessary. Like I was like, now you're
literally just stamping the soul out of it.
Like there's no so it was I guess it was like drop the water
a moment like a second and a half of like it's still alive.
My dog gets up. Stamp.
Nice stamp. Yeah, I was messy as well with
the like with the mopper floor. I thought I'm like.
Jesus Christ. It was a it was a problem like
in the in those houses. I think the person has a
problem. Every winter it would be like,
it would be like winter. And then you deal with a lot of
them. And then like 4 years ago by and
then it's like fuckers nice again.
Yeah. And then eight years ago by
fuckers nice again. And then to, you know, it was
just like occasionally during really bad winters, you'd get
just mice in the houses and that street like.
I'm quite a score boy with that kind of thing.
What with mice? Anything like that?
So my admit, I I squeal and then they look like, yeah, I
definitely I've definitely worked.
I definitely got. Do you know the noise that comes
out? It's the it's the same noise as
when Rashford's on the ball, one-on-one on the wing.
It's this noise do it's up. It sounds like those things when
you were a kid you turned upside down.
Did you? Ever have one of those?
No, I got one of those. I had.
I just had my. Like, what do you call, like,
taxidermied mice? Yeah, Yeah, you wore them around
your neck in the chain. Why did you not have any mates?
Why did you not have any mates when you were?
A kid? No.
Do you know what was meant? Why am I your first mate?
Nobody would go or soften with me at that time.
Serious, the regular see if I said see if I mice.
Member genuinely tell the truth and don't just.
Make we were if we were kids. Tell no, No, if we like, will.
Be boys. No, no, I'm a wee boy and.
You're saying now, right? Right, I'm in your car.
Go ahead say like next week, I say to you to all go our soften.
What would you say? I've got kids.
You wouldn't go. I would so I work and have kids,
right? So I would have to.
I work and have our soft. I haven't been in ages.
But I would have to say to my wife and kids.
Yeah, yeah. Daddy can't spend time with you
today. Go back to.
Go back to go back to pre kids. OK, alright, yes, I go with you.
Would you? Just as like a one, I'd be very
curious about it and I would think it was very funny and I'd
want to watch it. Do you know what?
I would really like to go to a bottle reenactment just to
watch. We we sort of did that there.
Did I tell you about this? No, we went to like that
mediaeval Do I talked about this?
No, the mediaeval thing. So last Tenerife.
Last time you're on the pod, we were talking about Tenerife, but
we never talked about. I just saw one night in Scrum
Story and I, I claim to be Mr Tenerife.
I'm big refe, right. But I I didn't even know there
was that in Tenerife. Yeah, So there's like, because
I'd only seen that movies like a mediaeval themed thing.
Yeah. And there's Justin, and you're
sitting eating a big banquet. Yeah, it was good.
What was this and? I would it was it was a thing
called like Castillo. Castle.
Castillo de San. Castle of San.
Miguel wasn't San Miguel, but it was something like that San
Castle beer. Some mark or some right and.
Sound to mark. Yeah, right.
And Sandy Castle and umm, we. Sandy Castle sounds like a girl
in her late 30s. She would sing in Loyalist Men's
Club. I was with Sandy Castle, I was
also about to say. Or just a big loyalist?
Sandy Castle, don't you make speak to Sandy Castle.
You haven't paid your Jews. Sandy Castle's taking the Jews.
That means two things. What you don't?
Want to see a Sandy Castles We notebook come out?
Bad news. Oh, it's see, have you, did you
hear that advert? Those adverts for like
paramilitary loans? It was an advert against it.
Actually, you meant, yeah, you meant like offer you are.
You skinned how you want to pay for Christmas.
Youngly called. It was literally, literally
where it was like somebody, somebody going like, somebody
going like. Failure to pay back alone.
We will kick your call. Yeah.
It was your loan back, so we'll come right beat your bodies.
You will have to go to Strong Rock.
You want to. Somebody was literally going
like I don't know how I'm going to afford to pay my bills at the
minute. I'm I'm I'm really desperate.
Is there anything you can do for me and short you sure well, and
then it'll be like the phone rings.
That's been three weeks. You got made money yet.
No, nobody will pay back a promise thought, thought at the
door. Right, boys, take our stuff and
you're like there's odds, I guess at the minute and I I know
actually notion dog without. I know what you're talking
about. They're on YouTube.
Have you seen these ones on YouTube?
Is it like domestic violence? Right, right.
Do you know what? It's an important.
Issue because odds are woeful. But you're right.
It's like we talk about, in some ways it's like we talk about
scripts and TV things and all that.
If it's here, if it's gritty, whatever, it has to be like
authentic. And I genuinely think, yeah,
that's bring across obviously an extremely important message, but
like make sure that. Make.
A shot like because then you get that Kazak me and you're going
he don't try. Like, I know you're not
listening to the message. You're not going domestic abuse
is terrible. You're going fuck, How did that?
How did this get made? But the paramilitary guys are
always slightly too nice. It's cuz on radio they're not
able to go. They're not able to say I'm
going to send you to Strand Roar, I'm going to fuck your
dad. They're not able, they're not
able to say those things on radio.
Like you can run drop a bottle on.
Why should they just get me in my airsoft stuff?
I take the. Can we write a script where you
are, you're trying to escape a paramilitary debt and you find
all your old airsoft gear and you run around Belfast divide in
the paramilitaries in your ghillie suit.
It's. Called commando, but it's just
because I have no monks left, you know?
Oh, mate, that's mental. I I what are we all about?
The old cast Castillo, San Miguel or whatever.
What was it called Down. Is it there typing kit?
No Castillo. Never been like mediaeval thing.
Anyway. Right on.
Yeah. Sorry, type in mediaeval thing.
Mediaeval the restaurant. Mediaeval dinner show Mediaeval
dinner show Tenerife. I bet it comes up right anyway,
so we went to it and it was all like it's like a fake castle,
which I was wee bit gutted about that.
It wasn't just in like an actual one, but it's all built like
it's I mean it's built, but it's it's only you.
No, but like. Only you shove is, so it's not
in an authentic castle. Imagine they could do something
like this in Carrickfergus but like, oh Carrickfergus.
Or Tenerife. No, but you know.
No, but you know what I mean. In Carrickfergus Cat there's the
real castle. Put a big tent up in there and
do it in there anyway, or do it beside the real castle and the
car castle. To work, if it's not not Wick,
it's Wick. If you're in the car park and
then the castle is just there, I'd say going.
Do you want to play a football match?
It's eh, it's all Trafford and then it's in the car park and
all Traffords are. Right.
So anyway, anyway, we'll go to it.
And so the boss tried to, it was tumultuous, right?
Like it went on forever. Someone want to put tickets and
then fucking show up anyway and they waited for like 45 minutes
on her and then she did show up. Don't even want to talk about
her anyway. I know, but I could go further
and I won't I'll tell you after anyway, we it was funny.
It was it's but it's very bitchy anyway.
So what happened? What she just like like really
cheap like what what you might describe as a hers breath.
All right, that was that type of perfume, right?
Anyways. By Calvin Klein.
Dolce and Gabbana horse breath anyway, so we we we get there a
Chloe is immediately scondered. Like immediately like, Oh my
God, you. Start role because you start
role-playing reservation. We have Saya.
Bring forth a goblet of frosty brew, right?
Anyway, so a. Pair of Bartletts to die.
So we're we get in there. Can you Squire me to the bog,
say? Somebody goes to all of them.
What is this witchcraft and wizardry before my eyes?
Take a photo. Someone's like Karen, I take it
to you in the SSE admission parchments.
So they come over and they give us like, like tunic things, like
big things, right, Please. Tell me there's a.
Photo they're yellow right? Mine are ones were yellow
because we're going to cheer for the yellow night and the other
one's got black and they're getting the I'm like, could I
not have got the cool colour right anyway, so like.
What's wrong with yellow? Yellow is just it's you're
yelling yellow like on the other.
So half the audience, half the audience, half the audience is
cheering for yellow knight and that's us on the other half are
cheering for the the the black Knights, right.
And so and there's like a whole show though, like there's a guy
playing a king who is double languaging.
Like you do the full Spanish. Like, you know, I, I can't
really do it, but like. Sounds good.
The needle Castillo that some again.
All that right? That's it, that's it.
When you're on holiday and you're in a taxi, that's every
Radio One, right? Bundes is Coca-Cola.
Right, that voice, right. And so he's doing that and then
he'll go, ladies and gentlemen, go on.
This Count is talented, right? And then he got a bit shit
towards him. But anyway, so he's doing it and
there's him and his missus and the story is that there's nights
coming to compete and it's a game.
And then it stops being a game and someone tries to kidnap and
rape the the wife and it's all a bit mad.
And then much it happens where they're actually fighting each
other. And then they end up coming up
with the idea of doing like more games to compete for who's going
to end up marrying this woman or some shit?
And then they just do loads of match it.
And then in the middle of it there was a bet with a fire
breather, which was just weird and hard to watch because it was
a sweet guy, a little person. Who like young guy?
No, he might hang out with Snow White, all right.
And I'm a little little man who was screaming on our faces at
one point as we're eating. While you're on the same size as
mine. You know, like as we're eating,
he's in your face going, I guess.
Yeah. Hello.
Yeah, hello. Yeah, hello.
Yeah.
He wasn't even clapping time. Like I thought it was awful,
right. And I'm on.
I'll shout yellow when I don't have a mouthful of this fucking
soup you've just handed me. Like anyway, so the the fucking
show was unbelievable. One of the guys like, I mean,
they're literally doing the ship riding, flying on horseback with
a fucking spear and balls on it and this fucking thing from
quite far away and I'm going that's fucking impressive right
now. Anyway, a lot of stunt fighting.
One of the guys look like Jesus. It was amazing.
And then. What do you mean?
What? So what do you look like?
He's black. Yeah, yeah.
And he looked like he looked like Western traditional
iconography of Jesus. Thank you.
OK. Thank you.
Can't Anyway, so where was I going?
Yeah, that guy, he's standing on like that, he becomes the fire
breather later. And this is where the show sort
of lost its way a wee bit because they were already using
fire, fire elements and the place you're indoors and they're
burning petrol. So it's getting a bit Fumi,
right, Like genuinely a bit like Fumi.
And then so this guy, they have like guys that are like in chain
mill and stuff that are sort of like helpers, you know, guys
that are running out and setting things up for them to do on
their feet. They go and set up like a ring,
like go and pour petrol out of a Sprite bottle or whatever. 7UP
bottle. Breaking the illusion of the
show, right? I mean, poured out of a fucking
made casket, you know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly right. And pours out a big circle and
then this a little man takes his top off, even wear a jester shot
on the top that's all off now. And one of these guys grabs him
violently kisses his head as if to say you can die doing this
shit bro hands him the fucking 7UP ball.
He takes a swig of it like I mean gulps petrol and then
dances around for like, throws a match down and lights the.
The ring around the. Thing and then he's in the Ring
of Fire and he's got 2 like sticks and he likes them and
he's doing joggling and throwing shit and all right and then for
like 40 seconds a minute. Does it burn, burn, burn?
And then he spits fire and you're like, holy shit, that is
wild looking, right? And then he dances around for
ages, like 2 or 3 minutes too long and then spits more fire.
And I'm going, you've had that pedal in your mouth for fucking
3 or 4 minutes. You might can't, right?
Like you're, you're killing yourself for, for my
entertainment, like for me to sit here and go suits all right,
like, like so weird. And then he starts exchanging
his hair and burn the hair off his arms and his chest.
No, I'm going, this is hard. Like this is hard to watch.
And then they came out and gave us a bit of venetta and I
stopped basically caring about his safety.
But it was like, but it is like I I remember turn around the
clock when they brought me the vianetta.
I know I turn around the clock and was like this guy is setting
himself on fire. What I enjoy ice cream like this
is so weird and our pissed ourselves and then he spot even
more of it and I'm going right OK, and then that was it.
And then he sort of runs off and and you know, he got off
everyone. No, you know.
I was in my vianetta like I mean I was hanging dead at the wrong
time and then and then the the black Knights one, which is
fucking shit because we've been sharing yellow all night and for
long. But yeah, a lot of fun.
Wouldn't go back though. Very Fumi.
They lit fire to too many things at the end but it.
Was Vienetta. Vienetta was OK, but there was
it was a thin slice. That would be your mediaeval
nickname. Thin slice, thin slice, Bring me
my ice cream cake. The little man will breathe
fire. What is?
What spell have you put on the scream?
He doesn't have more. It is colder than my mother's
chest, you know what I mean? He doesn't understand modern
desserts. Bring out a panic.
Wobbles like a young dragonblood.
You know, I don't even know. What's your favourite dessert?
I'll do like a palla cola, umm, Tamil custard Tiramisu.
Yeah, I love tiramisu. We have fancy creamy and cafish
I love. That as an.
Adult dessert it is. Do you know what I also at
school? Sponge cake custard.
That is good. That is good.
Ginger cake and custard is good. Madeira.
Yeah, I like it. I'm going to do cake.
I want it to be more flavoured than a Madeira.
Karen does cake. Yeah, because, well, I don't
love stuff like that. Genuinely my favourite desserts
usually apart from like tiramisu or whatever a fruit element I
like fruit do. You want hard to bark Pavlova.
That is hard to work. I like that.
Yeah, me too. I like that.
Named after a dancer? Yeah.
Who? Anna Pavlova.
True. Like, that's true.
That's that's fact. You could be could be making it
up, I'm not sure. I'm not.
I mean that serious. I know it sounds like, you know,
it's gone. I know Ford is named after
somebody who? Henry Ford like, you know.
Yeah, it's real. Do you?
What would you like to? What would Karen Bartlett like
to do this year? This is our first part, me and
you of 2023. What's 2023?
The year of? What is it the Chinese year of?
The year of the Twink. It's the Chinese Year of the
twink, yeah. I don't know what is it.
The dragon rabbit? The rabbit.
Rabbit. It's a Year of the Rabbit.
Hope it doesn't dry out too quickly.
Rabbit loin, anyway. Oh, I don't.
I don't understand that because I'm not in the 1600s.
See, I am sure. Thin slices cooking up some
lovely rabbits. That's a good accent.
I know it was Jamaican. I was.
That's also the sort of accent that would go down well on our
soft side. Hello, Hello, film nerds.
Is that the 1928 Thompson of the 1919 I I you know what I mean.
You can anyway. Is it artificially aged or
natural? Help me into my ghillie suit.
Why are there no girls? Here do you notice?
I cry myself just. You know what is genuinely
depressing about it? And this was this was an issue
towards the end for me. It was getting the bit where
like there was fewer adults go like because when I started
going to that one, it was nearly all just guys like literally in
their 20s and 30s. And then it started to be some
of them were bringing their kids and then going, I don't really
want to shoot a kid like. Look like you would.
I definitely, I wasted a couple of them one time without
thinking about it because I, I, I did the bang rule.
I did the bang rule where there were two the bang rule.
They. Were they were within about 10
feet of me. And you think that's OK?
I, I said bang, you know, so that they're not, I'm not going
to actually shoot them from her. I'm one of them turned around
and fired at me and missed. I just went.
With your car, you helicopter. I just, I just wasted, wasted
them. Yeah, fuck them.
That that doesn't make it any killer.
No, no. Buying children Bang Bang
children. Do you want to do this year?
Well, you were talking to get you in the airsoft in a way that
takes you away, you know, so that you've you've constantly
got to be going here family and going ourself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I want what I want to do.
So Sandy, I have ranking goals and I have I have live commonly
goals. You said your year starts when
the. 23rd. 23rd of January, No, that's still.
It's still 2022 to me. But why?
Why is this? And why that dates specifically?
Because I'm going away next week, I have a few days or going
to an academic conference. I come back on the 21st, I'm
having the 22nd off. I'm having that Sunday to
myself. I don't know what football is on
that day, but I'm going to be watching it and then.
What will you be wearing on your the 22nd that in between day?
The red specials for sure. Like I'm not leaving the house,
it's red specials. I might even go topless for a
time depend on how cold it is. And then I'm going to 23rd new
year new meme it you're the rabbit.
I'm already behaving though. I've been behaving for wise for
36 hours now. That's true.
Yeah, it's not that long. No, no, you had a, you had a
very healthy brunch with me. I don't have a wee healthy, wee
healthy start today. What's the yesterday?
I was very, I was very well behaved yesterday.
What's the thing that would show?
Because I'm in count for boxing at the moment, Fox.
I'm trying to eat right, You know what I mean?
Trying to load up in the carbs. I don't know what I'm supposed
to do. But if I'm tired, I will want
chocolate. Vegan chocolate, like chocolate.
I'm not the cheap call you nerd. Oh, vegan chocolate, I'm tired.
What's the thing that would make you slip up?
Crisps, crisps or like after a gig wanting something dirty
because I don't often, I don't always have dinner before a gig
if it doesn't work out time wise.
And then I'll want some laughter.
And your options are almost always just like stink.
Like because I'm not going home and Kirk at fucking 12:00 at
night. So it's like you get chips or
Chinese or pizza or some. Meal prep meal.
Get the week you ask me what makes me slip, I'm telling you
the blood of mice is what I slip.
On now, will you? If crisps are in the house, will
you eat them? Sort of.
Do you have to not buy them? You have to not buy.
Them. They.
They they can't be alert mate. I I like no, I can't have them
in the house. Now, would you go back to the
PT? You were doing that a bit last
year, you did the PT thing. Is that just not for you?
Will you be looking for? Another just two million thing
at the gym this year. Yeah, because I've joined.
You do a fancy health club. I do as I mean, no.
I pay for membership of a fancy. I've been a depressingly low
amount of times, but that's 23rd get to 23rd and I don't have
anywhere to be like there's nothing.
I, I do, I, I know you don't have this or I feel like you
don't have it because I do and I and I don't see it new, but I, I
have an issue where if I have like a conference planned, I'm
finding it hard to do things this week knowing that I have to
break my routine next week. I have a real problem a lot.
I like having a routine a lot, but I understand it has you have
to rule it. It has to be broken like.
I know, but I like I actually struggle that like I'm
struggling a lot right now. Like I feel tremendous stress by
next week, even though it's going to be a good time.
And I would get this about like fun things as well.
But then if you know that that's always a thing for you, what are
you doing to try? And are you trying to change?
I've got a breakup. Pattern before I go somewhere so
that when I'm there I don't feel guilt about not doing things
work wise. But then there are times when
you have to not do things. I know, but I just I get
tremendous. I don't like not doing things,
but so if you if you take breaks, then I don't like taking
breaks from Kagan. So I'm a bit of a hypocrite, but
there are times where I'll be like, I'm just going to take a
few days now. See, when you have a gig book,
yeah, you can still function during that day.
I find that really difficult. Like if I know I'm gigging
tonight, like this is fine because we're just talking like,
but if I, if this was like a, somebody said to me today here,
sit down and expect me to do like actual work or something.
I like, I like to have a busy day, the day of a show because
too much sit in the boat. I'll be able to go on stage and
go. I'm tired, so I've done nothing.
To say I love sitting about, but I know I love like I I would
love. I will get time today, like
whenever I whenever this is over, I have a we meeting that
was moved so it's nice. I actually get to go home
earlier, have a phone, a phone meeting, and then another week
chat on the phone and then I'm free, chat light and then I'm
free. Yeah, people, people ring me up
and I pretend like I'm some like slutty English person just being
like, yeah, finger me, you know what I mean?
Keep going. Twag station, but I'm Yeah.
Do you have like, do you have like with the fitness stuff and
all that? Do you just want to like be more
disciplined or anything like that, or do you have like a goal
or anything? To not die young is a good goal,
but. It actually.
Is Yeah, No, I, I have do you know what?
You know what I did right? I've I've used My Fitness Pal
before, but I've never had I I only discovered this yesterday
that there's a button, you know, do you use it?
No. I have before I have so there's,
you know, the wee diary, but where you put in all your food
and it helps you can't talk or drink.
No, no, not real out really does help me right?
And I've lost weight using it before the repeat.
Thing. The what?
So if you put something once, it saves it.
Oh yeah, I know. That's great.
But also like it just, it helps me to calorie count.
I, I can't do that in my head. Like I forget I don't like Clue
or like you put in what it basically works out like a
number of calories for you to maintain your current weight.
Now, obviously because I'm heavy, that number is quite
high. So if I go in the deficit, I can
lose weight by eating like normal amount of calories for
somebody. But then I shave a wee bit off
that. And so like I'm looking at my
number and I if I stay on there or around that number, I'm
happy, right, Because I'm always in deficit.
Then right now there's a wee thing at the bottom of it though
that says complete diary for the day.
Now I have never seen that before.
And I clicked on it yesterday to complete after I put everything
in and I clicked on it and it brings up what we noticed.
It says if every day was like today, in five days or in five,
in five weeks you'll be this week.
And that's actually a tremendous incentive for me because like it
was like if I keep doing what I did yesterday, I'll have dropped
like, what was it like a stone in £9 or something?
And that's five weeks. And.
Then if you keep doing, you know.
Keep doing it. Yeah, obviously you do that for
a year, you're dropping like fucking £100 normally.
No, I can drop a, you know, probably easily.
Well, no, no, I was just saying last time I dropped £20 on a on
a way accumulator at the weekend there on the FA Cup.
I got nostalgic right. I don't thought I'll stick a way
better on having really bet. I bet once in August and then I
bet I can't remember what I bet on and then I think the start of
the season and then I bet, I bet on the FA Cup.
I I got Wrexham. I knew fucking Wrexham.
I was like I'm targeting Wrexham to beat them constantly dead and
then Liverpool fucked me. Wrexham 4.
These cunts 3. Yeah, yeah.
Who were they on calendar and what they call them?
Fucking Liverpool fucked me. I thought Liverpool would.
Have a nice shirt, nice guy, blue black collar.
I think it's Hummel. Nice.
I like, I like is it is it Wickham have that Navy and sky
blue? Yeah, chequered, yeah.
Or they used to. I used to like that.
Yeah, I think they always have that, yeah.
Yeah. Is that confirm was still there?
No, he's retired. Is he retired?
Yeah, last season was last season.
Shoot it on maybe the dead and I just didn't see it.
There should have been more of that.
He was an inspiration like. Oh yeah?
Is that what you want to be? The white I can film.
In many miles I already AM. Imagine if you kept on the My
Fitness Pal kept dropping a stone.
And we get, we get to that. That same and sign for Wickham
and started playing for. Imagine I do that and then when
we play this fucking charity. Game against Man United
elections. And Blackmore won't know what
had them. You go.
Was that the way I can find one? I'll go.
Ah. Yeah, and you're sick of
flicking it over people's heads Just up and down the channel.
I'm like. Kieran because I was, I was
planning on doing that at this thing, but now I'm thinking loan
forward they won't have offside out, will track, will Easter
will have offset. Yeah, because it's a football
match. I know bum sound like.
No, there will be. Yeah.
It won't be. I don't think it'll be too
strict, but there will be. I don't have.
The AR no VR. Well, here I play on the
shoulder, so it's alright. Used in behind.
I love that. That's that's that's my street
name we carry in behind. He loves it.
And they get in behind in the Gilly suit.
All right, look, we'll leave it there.
A partner, but then. Thanks for today, it's been
lovely. Always been an eye opener on a
real character study into your. It's a date dive.
Karen Bartlett, deep dive. Deep dive into your brain and
honestly I wish I hadn't opened it.
Why? Because because that's that my
stuff is. And I again, I know you're being
almost. That's some of the most
disturbing stuff I've. Is that what is that?
Here I am, Yeah. Yeah.
Is it? How far?
Talking about the way you've executed mice.
Hold on a wee second, they are vermin.
Like I'm not being I'm. Am I going to come off like a
wanker talking with us? About Syrian refugees like yeah,
do. You know what I mean.
Though I guess not actually bad. We had a most nice.
What you did, what did you do? From the man in a van.
Really. What do you think he did with
it? What do you think he did?
You know what I think the most? He put it in like a wee.
I saw him take it in a little presentation box, so he must do
made a wee house inside a little hole of the black box and I
think he left it where we thought there was one most And
he I don't know what he did, but I think he just he left the wee
bit of chocolate and we bed inside and the most it never
came out of it. So I think the most just crawled
into the. Human trap.
You know what's inhuman? Those.
Karen, I think the most, was fully dead.
Oh really? It was a trap.
I don't genuinely think a mom brought around a little bit of
chocolate and put a miniature bed inside a box and.
Moist just stayed, I thought. I thought the bed was a joke,
but like putting away. Mice are attracted.
The chocolate, you know. Yeah, but how long would how
nice would the chocolate be for the most to just indefinitely
stay in that? No.
No, they have, they have, they have.
They have human traps. They have miniature chocolate
moist. Traps.
No, they have humane traps were like a mouse or even like a rat.
They're beggar for rats go into it and they can't get they can't
get back out, but they're in it and you take it and release it
somewhere, which I think is is daft because it'll just run back
your house unless you're really far away.
But like who's driving 2 mile away from their house to drop a
rat somewhere? Now I.
Don't know, I've gave you a left home before.
Do you know what I mean though? Like, do you know what's
inhumane? Those those sheets of paper with
the glue on them. Yeah.
Where they go to run on it and it traps them and then like you
take out of your Ben so you're either going to starve the thing
to death or start to death or you're going to whack it you.
Whacked. It hold on, it has Tony Soprano.
I know I've whacked them, but they have a fucking sporting
chance against me. Don't do they do.
That's a chance and here if I'm, if I, if I was shooting at them
and I miss. Yeah.
Then they should have the good sense to fuck off, you know what
I mean? Like, but I mean like dropping
the the bottle on them or like trying to catch them if you've
ever gone after all the brush or a mop or something.
Because I'm not in a carry on. Film the.
Sorry, I forgot what the Benny Hill music was, and I think I
did. That's Christmas music.
No, that's Christmas. But.
That's what I did, All right. What's Benny Hill?
Michael Winslow over there. No, I think, I don't know.
I hope it doesn't come off. I, I, I don't think, I, I don't
wish harm on any animals. I just think that like they're
vermin like. Tell the rest of the boys in
Magalbury when you get in. Does that they're come off like
why you're talking about? No, I know.
Come off. Like I want this to be the year
of you back in yourself because we've been friends for a long
time and I do say stuff to just get in your head a wee tiny bit
a mess about and you're always like made this out really bad.
I'm always joking, right? I'm always joking.
Never. I'm all whatever I say.
I mean the opposite, right, Kay? You've been a great guest today,
ladies and gentlemen. No, as always, Thank you for
coming on SSE. Kieran Bartlett But it's not it
says SSE Arena, but he's having it in at the home, a cab stand
beside the SSE in the car park. No SSE Arena.
What did? November the.
At night, November. November.
The it'll be in the description end.
November the 9th. It'll be in the 9th.
Of November 10th November will lose.
Saturday. I meant whichever the same is
enough. Whatever the Saturday is 10th,
put it in the script on the 10th.
Kieran, please stop at. Monday.
On Friday, it's in the. Description to you the rabbit.
It's in the description. Kieran Bartlett SSC Arena
Tickets for the live podcast Meet Kieran Thieve might still
be on sale at this time, but probably could not be.
We don't know, but if they are, they'll be in the description.
I'm on tour everywhere. The she and todd.com in the
description Opera House, all that.
It's Year the rabbit, so say something.
What's up talk? So let's fuck like rabbits, no?